Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Hot Takes & Hard Truths

Episode Date: August 13, 2026

CC: 492 Kail and Lindsie are putting some hot takes to the test, and quickly realizing they could not handle stress more differently. Kail opens up about mental rumination, OCD, and why social media has become too much, while Lindsie explains how she can ignore nearly 1,000 unread texts without losing a minute of sleep.They debate whether therapy is actually helpful when you’re already painfully self-aware, if people really change, whether cancel culture leaves room for growth, and why being “unbothered” might actually be emotional unavailability in disguise. Plus, Kail admits her fear of slowing down, Lindsie announces her plan to delete social media for the summer, and they tackle the age-old question: do nice guys really finish last?Foul Play closes things out with a kid walking in at the absolute worst possible moment and a conversation about boundaries and what’s appropriate when dating after divorce.Get your Fatherless Behavior Tour Tickets hereFor full videos head towww.youtube.com/@KailandtheChaosTo send in your Foul Plays email us at [e-mail] you for checking out our sponsors!Quince: Right now, go to quince.com/coffee for free shipping and 365-day returns. K12: See why more than 3 million families have chosen K12 find a K12 Powered School near you today! Go to K12.com/COFFEECONVOS to learn more.Chime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to Chime.com/COFFEE. Honey Love: Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/Coffee #honeylovepodSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Disclaimer, this episode was recorded in early May, 2026 prior to the events that have since unfolded. The conversation reflects the information and circumstances as they were at the time of recording. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convoes with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you.

A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life. in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Cailin Lindsay. Disclammer, this episode was recorded in early May 2026 prior to the events that have since unfolded. The conversation reflects the information and circumstances as they were at the time of recording. Good morning. Welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convo's podcast. We were sitting here talking about stinky vaginas. I'm trying to teach my kids the anatomy. And now that I have a daughter, I have to tell her about herself.

And so now she just walks around and she said, it's a gina. And I'm like, it is. It is a gina. Well, while we're talking about hot takes, we are going to go through a list of hot takes. And the first one is crazy. Is social media making us lonelier or more connected? It's nuanced. I feel like it's both.

People who feel alone can be connected or people who don't have a support system can be connected. But you're still physically alone. But also some people are like, well, I get all my social content from online so I don't really have a reason to go out. But isn't that parasycial relationships? Yeah, for sure. We need real social interaction, but I think our take on it would probably be different than somebody listening because our life has revolved around some form of social media for over a decade. Yeah. No, I would agree with that.

Actually, what's interesting, to the point I don't want to be on it. Like when I come on these trips, I'm not on social media. It's whatever my team posts for us because I don't have the capacity for it. I went to bed last night after, I think it was like 1.30 in the morning after we left this polypocket apartment living room. And I'm scrolling, doom scrolling, because I took my Adderall at fucking 12 o'clock. And I came across something called Mets. Rumination. What is that? And I believe that I have this. It was a doctor describing this,

but so I Google it and it says it's a habit of continuously, continuously dwelling on negative feelings, past scenarios, or worries without reaching a resolution. And I do feel like it's a season of life right now. I don't think it's something that I do all the time, but like in this like high stress situation, it says key aspects of rumination and involves repetitive, unproductive, loop of thought that often worsens anxiety and depression makes it difficult to focus on problem solving and damages mental health. There's loop structure. Ruminating thoughts are often sticky and circle back to the same negative theme repeatedly like an earworm. Negative focus and distortion of reality. I really feel like this is coming from like high levels of stress over the last few months.

And I say all that to relate it back to social media. This is why I cannot be on social media at this time because it's just continuing that cycle. It's like people can follow our real lives on social media because it's actually stuff that we're doing, but we're just not engaging on there. And I've had to step away from it. It's so crazy how you handle stress because you're doing all of that. And the way I handle stress is like, I just forget that everything's happening. Like, it's like a mental cut off. Also started seeing a new mental health person.

And he also said that I have more severe OCD than originally thought. because I have OCD tendencies in coping. So like when I get really stressed out, the entire counter needs to be cleaned off. Please do not talk to me if I'm over-stimulated and the counter is dirty. I don't know why specifically the counter. It's really the whole house, but mostly the counter. My previous therapist was like, okay, that's low level. That's like, not low-level.

That's OCD tendencies in coping. But I think it's more severe than that. Or maybe because it was untreated, it's just getting worse, like perpetually. worse. The shit just keeps getting worse. At least you're getting diagnosed. I probably have all this stuff and don't even know about it. Like, I can mentally block stuff out so far that it's like it never existed. Like my parents being married, I don't have one single memory of that.

So you don't think about it. No. I just mentally block it out. Like, if I'm here right now, I'm here right now and nothing else is going on. I mean, even when I left Atlanta, I knew that you were going on D&D for Thursday Friday. I really didn't want to bother you at all. But I also knew that like if I did text you, you might not text me back at all.

Because like you'll just cut it off. Like you know your boundaries and you know you can cut things off immediately. So quickly. But what's worse? Like being aware or being unaware. I almost wish that I was more like you. And maybe that's like maybe it's worse, but I wish I was like that where the constant dwelling on something that I cannot fix right now has taken a level of like has taken a toll on me to the point where it's like

it's hard to function in other areas where if I was able to just cut it the fuck off I could focus over here but like that has seeped in everywhere else does that make sense like right now for example if you show if you show these fucking people what your text messages look like I will fucking riot scary no 900 and some text messages unread how many is there 971 no 307 emails from today and 192 miss calls, possibly voicemails, but I'm not sure. But I just don't look.

You can also take those notifications off. But it doesn't bother me. Like, there's nothing about that that bothers me because I'm not going to do anything to fix it. So I'm just like whether I see it or whether I don't, it's not going to change the narrative of what's going to happen.

The way that notifications send me into another fucking orbit, I will read a text message just to get out of the notification. So the notification is gone. And then I will forget about it and not respond for seven to ten businesses. I don't want to see a notification. But how do you know to go back to it at that point? I forget about it.

And then I'll get a wild hair and be like, oh, fuck. 10 days ago, someone texted me and I didn't respond. But why is it bothering y'all so bad that like there's a number there? I don't know. I will ruminate, ruminate, ruminate, ruminate, ruminate, ruminate. like I have several emails in my inbox right now and the thought of getting to them is stressing me the fuck out. So I turned the little notification situation off of my emails.

So they're only on my text messages so that like when you pull up my this, you can't see all the emails that are unread. But like voicemails, I'll play the voicemail all the way through and not listen to it. But I'll like slide the bar just so the notification goes away. I think it's just my personality. I think that I can just literally cut stuff off and. like I have a list of tasks that need to be done and nothing's getting in the way of those tasks. I don't care how many times somebody is calling me repeatedly, how many times somebody emails me

if somebody needs me somewhere, like it's not happening. I respect that. And it doesn't bother me. It also does not bother me. Like if somebody repeatedly like sends me messages over and over again and I just like keep for whatever reason seeing them pop up and they're now. being a part of my day when they weren't a part of my day, I will just send a text back and be like,

hey, can you fuck off for a while? Like, it doesn't, and it's not coming from like an ill place. It's just coming from a place of like you need to fuck off because I'm busy doing something else. Where is the ADHD? Exactly. I don't know that you have ADHD, Lindsay. What do you mean?

You don't give ADHD vibes. Like, there's nothing about you that screams ADHD to me. Um, like maybe a little like aloof. But is that ADHD or is that personality? I think you just have a personality. Like I think we've misdiagnosed because like we, we, we as if we're diagnosing. Well, because we've had conversations where it's like, could you imagine you, Jill and what, Jill, you will and Jackson all in one room and you all have ADHD. But I don't know that what you're describing is 80. I mean, I'm not a doctor, obviously.

But I did get a piece of thing in the mail one time. when I was in high school for Holy Cross University for like you could be the next Dr. Lowry. So like, I don't know, maybe I'm on to something. What the fuck? See, that is the definition of ADHD. Will and Jackson definitely have it. I might be like

borderline on it or maybe I just have the tism. But like they can be in a room together and piss me off so bad because they're just back and forth and it's all over the place and it's like moving around on the couch and like the shuffling of the feet and the constant moving around, like twisting it. Why can't you lay still? Like,

what are you doing? I can lay still on my back for hours and like never move. And because they're moving, it drives me so insane. I'll just go to the other room. And it's like, I need a minute. It's OCD. You might have autism. I don't know. I don't know enough about autism, but it's definitely OCD. Now I go home and I get another appointment because I need to go to like a specialist. We need to go back to Dr. Buchanan. Yes. I'm going to go to a specialist and I'm going to see if I can get diagnosed. This podcast just took a turn that I did not know that it was going there.

I'm calling it now. OCD, PTSD. That's what you have? And no bullshit. That's what you have. Oh. No. No bullshit.

Like, it's insane. Yeah. Okay. The next one is going analog actually possible in 2026 or just a trend. I have proven that it's possible. One, what the fuck page are you on? Two, what the fuck is analog? What does that mean?

Just completely off the grid. What was the question? Is going analog actually possible in 2026 or just a trend? No, Lindsay goes off the grid for days at a time. Is it possible? Yes. Do, does everybody do it? No.

I feel like I seasonally go off the grid, right? Like you go off the grid more than anyone I've ever known in my whole life. No, I don't. Literally. Since I've known you, even if it's just like a day here and there, I've never known anyone to do that. Like remember that one time that I went off the grid like after December and then you cussed me out when we got on our first recording in January and you were like, where the

fuck were you? I needed answers. I'm like, I was off. Yeah, just let me know. You know what I mean? Like give me a heads up. Hey, M. for the next couple days. That's why I have an off-roading vehicle so I can go off the grid.

I go off the grid. Why are you all laughing like that? He had to turn his face to laugh. I go off the grid every fall. You fall off the grid. I do. Yeah. Like I go to cabins and, okay, I lied to you one time. Are you joking right now? Lindsay, I'm scared to ask what you lied to me about. It wasn't only you that I lied to, though. I don't care if it was. I lied to multiple people. I told people, that I was going to a cabin that didn't have Wi-Fi, but it did. That's not a lie. But it is a lie.

It is, but it doesn't count. Like I had the passcode. I just never connected to it. I don't believe you. And I had no phone service, like zero. That's a dream of mine. Does anyone else feel like August is the Sunday of summer?

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slash coffee. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's QI-N-C-E.com slash coffee. somebody asked me today in an interview, like, what my plan is after tour. And I said, I plan to be home after tour for the rest of the year from September 1st to the rest of the year. And then next year, I would love to go on a vacation. I would love to go on a vacation where I can take as many pictures as I want on the vacation, but that nobody contacts me. And nobody needs me and no emergencies happen. That's why I got into the Polaroid game. Remember when I was so obsessed with Polaroids? It wasn't that. You wouldn't have to take your phone. Yeah. It was so that. I didn't have to take my phone. But you want the pictures. You want the memories, but you don't want the technology. Correct. I can get behind that.

The problem is that my anxiety is so through the roof that I don't feel like I can turn my brain off for three days because I don't know. Just hit yourself. If fucking bashed my head into the wall, it's fine. Just hit yourself is crazy. No, because I feel like every time I try to do that, something insane happens. I think I've gotten so comfortable with not caring about knowing. It's like I will eventually find out. You know what I mean?

Like me being on my phone isn't going to help me find out. True. Or like you're going to find out regardless. So like whether you find out today or whether you find out in five days, it won't really matter. But like you know what I mean? Like yes, obviously I'm a psychopath. I have 971 missed text messages, probably 981 by the time I look at it when we get done with this.

that's not going to bother me. I can turn my phone off. It doesn't really help because I'm not answering even if it's on. I mean, I don't blame you. I want to be like that. That's who I aspire to be like when I grow up. But you have to make a conscious effort. Like you say that you want to do all of that while you're probably looking at TikToks right now.

No, I'm not. Okay. The next one is should therapy be a requirement before entering a relationship? And I've got a hot take on therapy right now. Okay. So we know that I am a big advocate of therapy, but I feel like when you are in such a state of trauma that you have completely disassociated to the point that you don't even know what's going on, if I tried to go to therapy in this current moment, I wouldn't even know what to say. And I'm not retaining anything that they're saying to me. I think sometimes talk therapy is not enough.

No, I need to go to a grippy sock vacation. Okay. The problem that I have in therapy, like I will say, can you say something to me? Because you're listening to me talk, and I am self-aware enough to know, like, these are the problems. That's why I'm bringing them to you. But I need to know how to get out of these problems. Like, I need you to tell me. Talk therapy is one small step.

But then you run into the issue of several appointments every single week. It's like talk therapy, cognitive therapy, EMDR, uh, fucking shrooms. I don't know. Just like whatever that is, whatever it is, we're talking about multiple. And like sometimes that's the way it goes, but then you run, then it becomes a bigger conversation about PTO and time off of work and how do you fit all of this into a schedule and how do you run a business and have parent, be a parent and run a business and do five appointments for therapy to better yourself as a human.

And it gets really tricky. I ghosted my therapist last week. I told Hunter, I said, Hunter, I don't have anything to pour into that. Like, I am a shell of a human right now. And this is going nowhere.

Like, it's actually pissing me off even more because I'm acknowledging all of this stuff that I am self-aware enough to, like, verbalize. But there's no help. I ghosted my therapist in 2020. two and then I apologize to her in 2024.

I like went back to her and I was like, hey, like I ghosted you. We didn't, I think it was like, I finished all my appointments and then I never rebooked with her, but like also I should have given her an explanation that I just needed to like take time. And so I started going back to her again, but then it was the same thing that you're describing is that like I know where my problems are. I know that I have like was going from relationship to relationship.

I know that I was bringing certain baggage from old relationships here. And I know that I was bringing stuff from Chris and like all the things. I know all of these things. What do you do with that? So why am I sitting there re-explaining what I already know and don't feel like it's helping with insurance? A lot of insurances do not cover specialized type therapy. And so that's the other thing. It's like a time investment.

It's a monetary investment. It is an emotional investment. I'm in a place in my life right now where I want to go to therapy for things that I don't know how to describe what I'm going to try to say. Future decision making. Decisions that are coming up that are on the horizon that I know I'm going to have to make soon. I want to talk about that in therapy because what's done is done. I'm self-aware enough to know. I've had my diagnoses.

I know what I have, CPSD, OCD, depression, anxiety. ADHD, fucking PMDD, PCOS. I know I have all these things. I fucking know. There's nothing we can do about my childhood. Digging into the past with my mom and my dad is not going to change a fucking thing now. My mom is 60 years old this year. We're never going to have a relationship. And I've accepted that. If she comes around wants to do a podcast, great. My dad's dead. What else do you want me to do with this information? I need help making decisions moving into the future and the decisions that are on the horizon that will shape the rest of my future and my children's lives. That's what I want to go to therapy for. I agree with that because what can you do

to change any of the past? Like the past is the past. It's what's happened. I'm self-aware enough to know that I need to process those things over a period of time. Well, not only that, but like, great. We can talk about all the fucked up decisions I've made for the past 34 years. Great. What is that going to do for the next 10 years? I want to know the decisions coming up. How do I not make those same decisions this time around this is a new set of challenges that I'm going through how do I make the proper decisions here without digging into the past because I already know about that stuff well you have to dig into the past to not repeat it in the future no we already know I also am a little uncomfortable about the EMDR too just a little bit because for a therapist

to try to tell you you need to dig into the past so that you can figure out how you got here and why you responded in that way. Like, I get the, I get the concept of doing that. But like, also what I didn't know or don't remember, I don't feel like that's hurting me. And I know maybe subconsciously it is because maybe subconsciously I know it. But if I don't remember it and I'm not acknowledging it, I don't care about it. That's how I feel now. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel because great my mom neglected me. What do you want me to do? I don't neglect my kids. So I think where we're at in our lives, we're looking for the next step. We've done talk therapy. I did talk therapy for 2019 all the way to 2022 with no breaks in between that time.

2022, I took a break and then I went back. So I feel like at this point, I am now ready to move on to the next step and make better decisions for my future and stop. Like, I just want to make better decisions for the future. I don't need to understand the past. to do that. I just want to say, okay, you are a neutral party. Here's the situation. There's no biased opinions. Help me. But my therapist told me that she's not supposed to do that. Yeah. My therapist has told me that too, but I'm like, I need you to break the code of conduct is what I need you to do. Because this is not helping. Is there also a world where you are self aware enough to know these things about yourself, to know that you need to heal from certain things,

but you're not ready to heal from those. So you just want to hold on to them. Like what, though? I don't know. Like, okay, I'll just give my last relationship as an example. Okay. There are certain things that I currently do not want to process. So me talking about them is not going to help me process those things. I'm just talking to talk. Like, I am not ready to let some of those things go. My emotions, I feel like, are so like this, the majority of the time, like an even line, that it's almost scary. Until you crash out?

Yeah, it'll be like one big crash out and then it's done and then no one will ever hear about it again. I kind of respect that, though. I'm the opposite. I need to talk about the same thing 350 times before I'm going to talk about it multiple times. but I'm not really processing it. I'm just talking to talk shit about it. But you're not crashing out. I'm not crashing out.

And then it's just like, oh, it's just like such a casual calm conversation. Like, oh, I really just like, don't fuck with that person. But like, how was your lunch? And then it's just like moved on. And like, it's so even keel until the point that I just crash out and start crying. And then I might cry for 24 hours. And then it's done. I'm not processing anything.

Something is happening to me or I'm involved in something. And the reason why this is not meant to like play victim mentality. It's just like things have happened in 2026 that are beyond my control. As soon as I start to process it, somebody else kicks me. Like I'm not even standing all the way up. And then the focus like moves to that. So I'm not processing anything before the next thing happens. So it's just like what is the call?

What is it called? like a compilation. It's, um, no, there's another word. Yeah, maybe like an accumulation, a culmination of, of things. And maybe that's the same for you as like you're just barely processing something before the next thing happens, especially with your most recent situation. Wedding season is in full effect. And I have a wedding coming up in October.

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That's honeylove.com slash coffee. After you check out, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Experience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove. All right, you guys, we're back to school. A new school year means new opportunities. for positive change, big or small, okay? And we all know that sometimes there are parents who are looking for a new path to help your child succeed. There's still time to enroll in K-12-powered online schools.

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And it's always like, I say always within reason, always yes. And he's like, you are your problem. Like you never take a second to just like stop. Huh. So I'm actively trying to avoid processing. Well, I would like to process, but I have not had the time. So it's like... But we're not giving ourselves the time.

Okay, but on the flip side, any small amount of time off in this industry, we don't get PTO. Whether it's 10 days a year or three weeks in the year, we don't get PTO. Guess what? I won't know about it because I won't have a phone. I won't have a laptop. I will have a Polaroid camera. and I will be sent my happy ass on a beach somewhere or in a hot tub or on a back patio of a house and I will literally not know what's going on in the world.

I'm so scared of being poor again. That's real. That alone, I cannot take a break and I don't have time for that because I'm so scared that if I don't post for three days or I don't post for three weeks or if I don't post, I'm so fucking scared of being poor again. Where am I going to go with seven kids if I go poor? remember that one time that like I didn't post on Instagram for like six months and Kale was like more stressed about it than I was. She was like, Lindsay hasn't posted on her Instagram in six months. She was fine with it. And I was totally fine with it. And she's like, yeah, but like what are you doing? Clearly not that. Okay, well, I'm here to say because I just made a decision for myself sitting here. Madison and Alessandra are behind the camera currently. I am going to. delete social media apps for summer.

So am I. And I'm not going to be on them and anything that gets posted. It's not like it's not me. It's just not me posting it. But like it is my real life. Okay. So this is Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X. Threads.

Reds. Reds. We're not even on it. Like, I'm just saying all the social media. Telegram, WhatsApp, all of it. That's. phones, honestly. You know what? If I ever see WhatsApp on somebody's phone, I know they're cheating. Really? Yeah. Like, I feel like it is the ultimate cheater app. I've said that for the longest time.

WhatsApp is used for one, our PR team started there. And so finally, Rebecca was like, we're not using WhatsApp. Like, you can start a group chat on iPhone. We're not using WhatsApp. My kids' sports teams have now started using WhatsApp. So my WhatsApp is my kids' sports. otherwise you have to download 12 different team apps like game changer whatever else they have banned all of these fucking things so now people

are using WhatsApp and I'm so thankful for it if you have loved ones in the UK or whatever you can use WhatsApp. Well what if you just have an ex boyfriend that has WhatsApp and he doesn't travel outside of the country? He's just a cheater because I'm looking at my... He's just a cheater. My WhatsApp right now is

DSU flag football somebody from TLC who wanted me to do a show with him. He was now living in Thailand, so we have a conversation on there. He's married with kids. Like, there's nothing like that. A girl from book club. All of this is WhatsApp so that you, because you don't have to give your phone number on there either. But do you understand how easy it's going to be for me to delete social media when I don't even answer text?

Yeah. For you. You've been off social media for six months at a time. Never in my life. It's going to be definitely challenging. She's going to wake up in the middle of the night. and I'm going to find out she re-downloaded the app. And I know the way that she posts.

This is going to give me so much more reading time. Like, I'm so excited. You're going to thrive. Okay, the next question is cancel culture effective or just mob mentality? Um, I don't really care what people do. Honestly, like, people are people are people. They're going to do what they're going to do. And I'm not canceling them.

I'm just not following them anymore. My problem with cancel culture is that people will cancel other people. And then if that person educates themselves, we never forgive them. That's the problem I have. If you want to cancel someone or like tell them about themselves so that because you're hoping that they're going to change their viewpoint and then they do and you're still not offering forgiveness, that's where I have a problem. That's where I have a big problem. like how many times do you want this same person who has now opened their eyes?

And I'm not saying overnight, like you discovered old tweets and then overnight they're saying they're sorry. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about like real actual issues where they maybe have like this belief system ingrained in them. And over a period of time, six months, a year, two years, you're still wanting them to apologize when they have genuinely changed their mindset. Like they have genuinely opened their eyes, educated themselves, whatever that looks like.

That's my problem with cancel culture. Do I think that there are obviously nuances to that? Yeah, I do. I think there are a lot of people who should just be canceled altogether. But like, we're all fucking human too. So are we not forgiving people that have been, do you know what I'm saying? Why does it, also why does the public opinion get to the court of public opinion gets to decide who they're extending forgiveness to and who they're not? Well, in our world, the court of public opinion is, we found out evidently all that matters. I just don't think that. and maybe it's just again that I don't give a fuck mentality, but I don't think I would do something intentionally to try to get canceled to be a part of a press cycle. I don't want to fuck up anymore. So I don't want to be a part of a press cycle. So cancel culture, I think if you no longer support someone, you don't have to like jump on the bandwagon, just keep scrolling.

Okay, the next one. Do you think that people actually change or just? better at hiding who they are. And I think that that is also nuanced. Yes. Because I think two things can be true. Some people, if you actually want to change, then you have the ability to change. Some people know that they need to change and choose to hide because they don't want to change. Or, I'm dwelling in the negative again. Here we are. You have a falling out with someone or you break up with someone. And your life genuinely gets better. That person will always say, oh, they'll never change.

Oh, they'll this. Oh, well, I know this. And I know that about them. And I was there for this, this, this and this. No, my life is literally better without you. And there has been several steps up that I've taken since you've left, whether it's a romantic relationship, a Latonic friendship. But that person will swear up and down to everyone they know that they know who you are.

Does that make sense? Yes. So your peers don't allow you to change. Like you're still the same person in their mind because that's where they left off. But that is not always the case. I have found in one situation, particularly that I have been in, I think that that person has the ability to change and knows that they need to change but will not change their environment that is perpetuating the lack of change.

As time goes on to the people that you surround yourself with will have a huge implication on whether or not you're able to change and to what capacity. I agree with that. Like, I wanted somebody in my life to change so bad for a period of two years. And I'm like, you have the ability to do it. Are you going to make the effort to do it? Because you're surrounding yourself by the same people doing the same diabolical shit that you've always done.

You have to remove yourself from certain environments, sometimes to be able to change. I agree. And sometimes that means loving your friends, a distance. And that doesn't mean you'll even have to have a friendship fallout or a breakup. Sometimes you can just slowly back away from certain people and your life can get exponentially better. Agreed. Okay. Is ambition attractive or intimidating? I would say attractive. The only time that I would say it would be intimidating is if you're insecure about your own ambition. So if someone that you're in a relationship with has a lot of goals and you don't, you might be intimidated by that because

you're like, okay, if they change or if they do this or if they're better than me, that could be challenging. Is there a world where you can be ambitious and somebody is intimidated by your ambition, which then turns you into be intimidated by your own ambition? Yes. I feel like I had someone. I had someone like that in my life. same literally working against me in every fucking facet and it's like now I'm intimidated by what I want to do now I'm second guessing what my goals are and it's so funny because I always tell I'm like I'm like I have all these plans and there's so many things I want to do like my goals I might not do them that same year but at some point I'm going to do them right like at some point so what I thought was my list I don't

know when it's going to happen but it's happening sure and like I thought it was happening a lot sooner and then life throws a wrench at you and you're like oh fuck now I gotta set that back but I'm still gonna do it fucking mollywopped mollywopped fucking best of that word mollywopped okay let's talk about something that I would absolutely have loved when I was a young mom and most of us never really thought much about which bank we were choosing at 16 and 17 years old and that's where chime comes in chime is changing the way that people bank because they're not like traditional old banks who charge fees and gatekeep perks and all of the rewards. You actually get 5% cash back on ChimeCard in a category of your choice,

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For more information on APY rates, my pay, spot me and travel perks, go to chime. com slash disclosures. Okay, next one is being unbothered a personality trait or emotional unavailability in disguise? And I think it's both. I'm fake unbothered. I'm so bothered. I'm so bothered all the goddamn time. It's exhausting. I feel like I am

truly unbothered. Arguably one of the most unbothered people ever. Yeah, I would also agree with that. And I am the most bothered person ever. But I also think that being unbothered is because my emotional unavailability exists. Like, I have no emotion to give. I don't either. And somehow I still.

Kail, you are probably arguably one of the most emotional. emotional people that I know. Paraseltin did an interview. It was a podcast interview with, I forget who was interviewing her. And she was talking about her relationships with ADHD and how she would feel these intense rushes of dopamine and think that she was in love with these people. And then she would get like a little bit in and be like, wait, I actually don't fucking like you. That's me.

I actually don't like anybody. I'm not kidding. Wait. So like, what about when you're not? you have like a long-term relationship. Well, I like them sometimes and then sometimes I don't. Like there's like glimmers of like hope. And then I might stay like a day or two too too long.

And I'm like, there's nothing about you that I like. You know, that's interesting because I just got done telling, like, that like after I had a baby with all my kids' dads, I didn't like them anymore. It took you that far. Well, I got pregnant mostly pretty quick. So it didn't take. it did not take very long. Yeah, see, that's just like not a risk that I'm willing. That's not a path that I'm willing to go down to like,

I will tell you somebody that I genuinely like as a human is my ex-husband. Like as a human. As a human being, I genuinely like him. I genuinely love him. There have been people that I have been in relationships with and I'm like, oh, they're fun and like I'm having a good time with this person. And then all of a sudden we have a sleepover and it's like, I don't like what you look like in the morning. You know?

That's why you could never be a lesbian. Yeah, no. Okay, so I'm going to say that unbothered is a personality trait. Yeah. But I also think that unbothered could mean you're a mental illness. You're a mental illness. I am a walking, bucking mental illness. I think unbothered also means that you slightly don't have enough emotion.

bandwidth to care to be bothered. I think it takes effort to be bothered. Yeah, I would agree. Do nice guys actually finish last or do they just like saying that? And at this point, again, I'm on 365, not dating, not talking, not sleeping with anyone. I am a firm believer at this point based off of my personal experience that nice guys do finish last. I think it's not as appealing. Nice guys win in the end. I think the wording is off because it's not that they finished last. It's that we're all, the women are after the bad boys, the ones who are emotionally unavailable.

We all have daddy and mommy issues. So we're all going after the one that is, doesn't actually like us that much. But by the time we hit our mid-30s, we want the nice guy. So they're not finishing last. They just have to wait for their time. But that's still last. but is it when they win? Actually ultimately winning because they waited,

they were patient and then ultimately get the girl in the end. I had a nice guy who finished first, and then I dated a lot of not nice guys who are not finishing last. I will go back to the nice guy when I finally do that. Yeah, yeah. But off of the rip, I don't think they are as appealing because it feels so safe and sometimes safety can feel scary.

Yeah, because it feels like, is this boring? Like, do you actually like me? But at this point of my life at my age, I think that I need to be bored. Yeah, my therapist said that. She said, Kale, what are you doing? Because content is... Content is boring. Content not to be confused with stagnant.

because I think you can be content with your life and still have goals and ambitions to want to do more and do better. That does not mean that you are because I think complacency, there's a difference, right? Correct. You're content with your life. If I achieve this goal, I'm happy. But if I'm not, if I don't achieve this goal, I'm still content where complacency is like you're not even willing to try to get to the next level. Does that make sense?

It does make sense. I think there's a huge difference and that people confuse them. Like, it's like, oh, are you happy? I'm content. I'm like, I feel good about my life. I'm content. Oh, so you're stagnant. I can't wait to feel content again because I feel like I have been in fight or flight for so long that I almost forget what content feels like.

But I know I've had it before. When was the last time we were both content? When I was married, whatever COVID year was, was the last time that I recall being content. Two people have fucked up my year. Do you know what I mean? He'll doesn't remember when the last time she was content. No, because like it's one of those things where it's like there have been periods of time over the last year that I've been content. But I will say this since December of 2025 till now, there's not been one single second of contentment.

December 2025 until now and for the foreseeable future, I won't. I'm not going to be content. And I'm hoping that next year I will be content. I think you can have glimmers of contentment over a period of time. And I've had that. But I think I'm so consumed by one fucking thing that it is tearing me up worse than my kids' dads ever have. I could understand that. Because it's seeped into every fucking facet of my life.

But you have to be careful about that. Because what you allow to seep, we'll seep. Okay. We have one more question. we're going to do foul play and wrap this one up. Is the soft life era empowering or an excuse to avoid hard work? And I think you can be in a soft life era and still work hard. What?

You can absolutely be in a soft era, soft life era, soft life girly and work your ass off. Yeah, I would love to be in a soft girl situation and still do what I do and all decisions made for me. And by all decisions, I just mean like the one. that I'm like, too overstimulated to me. Like the dinners and the lawn and the, those types of things. Like, I don't want to have to pay for it. I don't have to think about it. And still work my ass off.

Like, I would love that nothing more. I would love nothing more either. But I think that being in a soft girl era and working hard can coexist. Yeah, absolutely. 1,000%. And on that note, we have foul play. I don't have the foul play. Go to page nine.

In which document? where have you been I asked you in the beginning of the episode and guess what you looked at me and didn't answer because I didn't need you following along right then Oh god Fow play kids walking in Hi ladies

Nothing like starting off the new year with my eight year old son Walking in on me and my husband Cube bright red face We had just bought in the new year And put the kids down for bed We have twin boys who dad puts down And I had laid with our eight year old The excessive fireworks had

him on edge for most of the night. My husband texts me, meet me in the basement. Because let's be honest, it's far. Like the little basement. Hurrah. It's far and few between nowadays due to not being able to get a lot of alone time. I sneak downstairs and immediately we're going to town. My husband is enjoying the kitty when I hear my son say, mama. The lights were out, but we have the colored LED lights, so there was color. I'm not exactly sure what he saw, but he was outside of the doorway and he might have walked back once we traumatized him, L.O.L. I'm still mortified. Neither of us have mentioned it since, but I'm sure I just scarred my poor child. What would you guys have done?

On the weekends, I'm trying to sleep in and I know you sleep in. So I'm going to need you not to venture towards this doorway. And if you start venturing, immediately turn around an abort mission. Like, this is not a good idea for you or anybody else involved. Never have, has he ever walked in on me? maybe when I was married, but it used to really piss Will off because he would be like, okay, I'm finally getting my wife to herself because, of course, have Velcro kid. And then Jackson's like knocking on the door or sneaking into the side of my bed.

But like, would you rather know what your kids saw or live rent free in your mind not knowing what they saw and they're probably walking around with the trauma of what you don't know? I walked in on my mom so many times as a kid. It's like I joke about being traumatized by it, but I actually don't give one single fuck. I mean, I get that. I think I would, my personality, if I ever walked in on my parents, I think it would be so vivid still in my mind. I would not be letting it go. That would then need to a grippy sock vacation.

Yeah, I mean, I think about it from time to time, but I'm not like, you never walked in on your parents? Never. I remember, like, so my mom, my first. stepdad that I remember, him and my mom were like naked parents. That was my dad. I didn't know any different. Like I called him dad, right? So he was my dad until I was seven. They used to walk around the house naked and stuff. And so like I didn't know any different. But then when my mom dated somebody else next, I was like telling them, me and my cousin were like in the car. I was saying how like I always saw them naked and I got in trouble. By your mom. Yeah, like my mom and my new stepdad was like,

you can't talk about this and it's like you did it you fucking traumatized like you are walking around the house naked and then you're mad because I'm talking about it see I've had multiple conversations through my relationships post-divorce and it really isn't fair and I know what I'm about to say isn't fair if if I'm comfortable enough to have them in my home I should be comfortable enough for them to feel comfortable to be there. The rules that I would have for Will and I with Jackson, because he's ours together, looks very different than the rules that I had within my relationships post-divorce.

That is completely fair. I have never let my partners that were not my children's father see the other, like let my kids see them naked. Like even Elijah and I have three kids together, the rest of my kids, he's not just walking around with his dick out. I just not. He does not play about that. He is dressed all the time. Doesn't even feel comfortable really walking around without a shirt on. So like, I'm like, we don't need to be walking around this house and a pair of boxers around my child. No. It's not your child. No. That is not appropriate. I would not be okay with that, especially because of

anybody can say anything. And I'm sorry, but you're not my kid's dad. So you know. Now, have there been times where we've been in the shower and the kids walk in yet we're not doing anything. but there's also a wall. So I can literally step behind the wall. And it's like, okay, we're showering. We'll be right out. That kind of thing. He's not just going to willy-nilly get out of bed and be naked or like willy-nilly get out of bed and have his boxers on and walk around my house. But see, if I was still married and it was me and Jackson and Will in the same house, I wouldn't have a problem with him walking around in a pair of boxers because it's like your dad. Jackson knows if anyone is in our home outside of his dad, you will always be clothed and every person in this home will be equally as loathed.

It's so sad that people can't just not be fucking predators. And on that note, that's all we have today. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your pods. Always first at podcast. One, if you have not followed us on Instagram, you can do that at Coffee Convo's podcast and also join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. If you have not purchased tour tickets and you are in.

interested in joining Kaylin Ray Lowry on the road. You can go to kaleowry.com and purchase your tour tickets. Hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. I'm Stasi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines,

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