Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - I'm Gonna Get My Licks Back

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

CC271: Lindsie is channeling her ultimate mom look while Kail brings us Tiktok o' clock. Kail's list of tiktoks brings up the discussion around keeping secrets in relationships and young kids not knowing the severity of a consequence. Lindsie has an update on the Brian Laundrie case, Kail admits she could never help her kids cover up a crime. We read some Facebook group posts that has us all mad on behalf of all the teachers who don't get support from their school and district.For Foul Play... being called "mom" during sex and yeast infections has us in literal CRINGE. Thank you to our sponsors!Leafwell: Go to leafwell.com and get 20% off with promo code COFFEEOura Ring: Visit OuraRing.com/COFFEECONVOS to get $15 off your purchaseProgressive: Visit progressive.com to learn moreStitch Fix: Sign up today at StitchFix.com/convos to get $20 off your first purchaseVegamour: Go to Vegamour.com/coffeeconvos and use code coffeeconvos to save 20% on your first order

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you? This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship Family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's kale and Lindsay Good morning. Good morning coffee convos I'm still tired from our telegram group chat last night like if I have to do anything Like anything related to like being timely after 5 p.m. Forget it. I have to say that I was very frustrated with Lux because

You know Lux is we just have a different. I don't know So I was gonna come down here to this office to record it or to be on the live And then you know, he was very upset at me leaving again. So I was like, alright, I'll stay home and record it from the home office But you have to be really quiet. You need to listen, you know be occupied. He's like, I'm just gonna color I'm just gonna color. So I'm like, okay, and then there he is his little head bopping in the camera talking Oh, he was on there the whole time the whole time and then I was just like after we were done I was like Lux like I can't stay home and work if you're gonna keep like doing this because They don't they don't understand this the work from home thing

Like I know that it comes from like a very like a place of love But like he truly kids do not understand the work from home thing wait, I have to tell you something about that because Jackson was so funny the other day. He was like Mom, I really wish that you could just like be a stay at home mom and I was like, what do you think that I do now? Like I am always here and he's like, I know but like you'll be working or you have errands that you have to do or like So he wants you to work like be home, but not work from home. Yeah, he wants me to just be home all the time Never working like I'm not gonna have a job I'm not allowed to run errands

I'm not allowed to do anything after school pick-up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean in a perfect world I also wouldn't do anything after school pick-up. So I'm with Jackson on that and I'm just like son Like I don't know like what universe that you're orbiting in but I am now a single mom mm-hmm contrary to Popular belief I do not get $15,000 a month in child support. That was a fun thing. Yeah supposedly like Redditors

Said that I get $15,000 a month in child support. So well, who's your baby dad cuz I'm gonna go fuck them Literally for $15,000 a month. Yes, we're getting pregnant on purpose. We'll have siblings Listen, I would first of all if I was getting paid $15,000 a month in child support that lifestyle would have been so good I wouldn't have left it period there period So that's number one number two There is no child support not that that's anybody's business, but there's no child support that goes either way in my case so Don't know where people are that just from you know start assuming things

But I am an official mom uniform. I'm in a large sweatshirt a pair of leggings baseball hat Because I am gonna try to run all of my errands today before I get Jackson back So that he doesn't bitch me out for needing to go to Sam's Club period and honestly Do you really want to bring Jackson to Sam's Club with you? No, because here's the thing and the grocery store. I don't know if you experience this But I won't bring my kids to the fucking grocery store. It's so hard. I absolutely have to it's so hard because What you go to get and what you end up leaving with mm-hmm You go to you get what you go to get and then you have a whole other collection of items

my son thinks that he needs to go on the novelty aisle and Any holiday that possibly is we need to get something from that and Also all the shitty toys that are like five times the price because they're such like a tiny toy section So they inflate the price. Yep. And like sir, this literally is like not even a dollar at the dollar store The my kids are into the littles Lux and Creed Lincoln is too a little bit. He's getting back into it They're into the WWE action figures, but they're like 15 20 dollars for one Frickin figure. I was literally just having this conversation yesterday about How I don't care that Jackson. He's obsessed with stuffed animals and there's just like some kids

I swear, they're gonna be the kids that grow up that have all those stuffed animals like in the back of their car You know, like the tiny babies the T. Y. Beanie babies. Yeah But I don't hate it as much the stuffed animals don't bother me as much as the tiny little figures and then like the little figures that come with little accessories For my kids actually throw the accessories out like if a wrestler comes with extra hands My kids don't care about those. Thank God. Thank God because that is the most annoying thing I think about like girls. We have not experienced this but like girls with Barbies and how they have like the clothes the high heels the

No, absolutely not like we're not first of all now. I just tripped and stomped on Legos and and Harmed myself for years. I can't imagine being a mom of a girl like walking into a playroom Stomping all over those high heels and shit. No, I'd cry and I would be out like the Shopkins the little Accessor no, absolutely not. I mean, although I would love to have a girl one day. I mean, this is how I look today. I Had the closet installation. So like part of me is like I shouldn't have a girl because some days we're just gonna look like this Mm-hmm my closet installation. I know you had your closet done a while back. I They were supposed to come yesterday

Called me at nine and said they had a funeral Which I'm pretty sure you knew you had a funeral prior to 9 a.m. On a Monday on price someone schedule a last-minute funeral Right. And so I was like, hmm. Okay, like we'll see you when we see you and so then they came this morning at like nine And then I also had to go to an appointment for TSA pre-check because all these years I never had TSA pre-check And I had told Kristen about it like years ago and she was like, uh Like it just like we never like did anything with it. Kristen's gonna hate me for that But um, I my friend well, she does like my videography and stuff. She's like you need TSA pre-check It's a game changer blah blah blah. It was so fucking easy. It was a 10-minute appointment

So I dropped the kids off Let the guy in drop the kids off at school go to the TSA pre-check appointment and then come here I got a huge delivery. That's just sitting in front of my face that I want to scream Because I just have more shit to do but yeah back to what I was saying like I this is why I look like this this morning And I don't this is why I shouldn't have a daughter because I would look like she would look like this sometimes listen I think that we need to normalize Looking like that more Regularly because it is very realistic. I think a lot of times we get like in our heads

We'll log on social media or Facebook and we'll see like a pretty picture of somebody and we're like I Wish I looked like that today, but like honestly, they probably don't look like that today either But I have been putting so much effort into the way I look lately that I like this feels very dirty to me now not when I look at other people just for myself because I've been truly trying to like Have my makeup on do my hair especially for podcasts and stuff like that because I feel better, you know and But I just didn't have the time and I actually just didn't wake up on time this morning either. So But yeah, maybe normalize it. Maybe I should do this like once a week Listen, there's nothing better than a Sunday

I was saying this to my girlfriend that I was walking with on Sunday because I love to wake up like a little bit late on Sundays Watch church from home Um, if Jackson's here, I you know cook breakfast Do that whole thing spend time with him in the morning. Love to go on an afternoon walk, but it has to be like a nature walk It can't be Just like a walk on a track or something like I want to be like one with nature Mm-hmm. I want to be like in the woods probably getting chiggers and ticks not chiggers and ticks and

Like a little late lunch Mm-hmm and an early bedtime, but all of that is happening in a baseball cap. No, I will You know that like What do they call it like the brush that like you do your hair with the but it's like the heat one. Oh I know what you're talking about. I don't know what it's called, but I know what you're talking about Like I'll do that to my I honestly use that more Now even for like my regular hair brush It reminds me of like back in the day

When old women used to use like a hot brush. Do you remember that? Yeah, like old ladies would use a hot brush now I feel like it's a new and improved hot brush And that is what I use for my hair every day. Even if I like don't get ready. I always use it Skincare baseball cap like mom clothes just like the mama form and And that's a that's a great Sunday. It's like my favorite day of the week. I love that I love like a chill Sunday not really doing anything just like like some little things like go for a walk That's a big deal. Get some sun get your sit. What is it serotonin going? Coffee combos podcast is brought to you by progressive insurance

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Um, but did follow it and I recently saw um an article on cnn and it says Gabby Petito's family attorney wants the letter He says Brian Laundrie's mom wrote him offering to bury a body with inscription burn after reading It says Brian Laundrie's mother wrote a letter to her son that included references to getting a shovel and burying a body An attorney representing the parents of Gabby Petito said during court hearing on Tuesday The Petitos are suing the Laundrie's for emotional distress in connection with the Gabby in connection with Gabby's death during the road trip Um with her boyfriend Brian, whatever the lawyer for Petito's parents Patrick Riley said during a remote hearing in Sarasota County Circuit Court in Florida that he saw a letter um

At an FBI regional office and it expressed things including helping him get out of prison getting a shovel and some other things The envelope containing the letter said burn after reading um That was according to Riley who said the letter letter was recovered from Brian Laundrie's backpack when the body was found That makes me sick. Yes. It is absolutely insane. Um, the laundry attorney says the letter does exist but it was predated to Gabby and Brian's trip which bullshit like no fucking way. No fucking way Ain't no fucking way who who just writes about burying a body and like they'll get a shovel and you know burn this after you read it

um None of that stuff is going on unless something has happened and You knew about it. Absolutely not. You knew about it and you Here's the thing. It's it's so hard because like I fully understand what I would go to the you guys know Lindsay and I would go to the ends of the fucking earth for our kids I as a mother Can't picture myself helping my child

Cover up a murder Of somebody else's baby. Does that make sense? Like I understand that we're both losing our babies in two different ways But we're both losing our babies and I cannot fathom that I'm almost probably blaming myself I'm not helping you bury this fucking body. What's that helping you cover this shit up? To me that is fighting violence with violence at that point um I'm also not helping you bury a body. Um

I'm also not buying you a shovel and I'm also telling on you Yeah, because I would know I So wait, did was it do you know if it was true that they The parent brian laundry's parents got immunity. I don't know that I ever found out if that was true or not I know that that was speculation um For a long period of time and I never really followed up with that Um, but when we did first cover the case do you remember it was rumored that brian had possibly flown back home to florida

um, and if we went back and like Refollowed the trail of the facts of what we knew It had been said that he was missing for a day or so and then remember he showed back up He was hitchhiking back to the van Um, and remember how we thought it was so weird that he was said to be so clean He had cash on him and an empty backpack and that was according to the people who gave him the ride I do remember that. I do remember that there was also, um, another article on fox news. It says

um newly released high res photos shows injuries from utah domestic call And we can post the photos, but like there are very visible um Injuries and those photos were covered from gabby's phone. Uh showed blood on her face. Um immediately before the 911 call was placed um And it was also said that someone allegedly saw brian hitting gabby

Um, that's when the police responded to that incident and this was the footage Remember like all the footage that we saw Um, it was heavily circulated where it was like the body cam at the beginning of the case. Yep. I remember Yeah, so these face these photos that were found on her phone was immediately What's taken right before the 911 call was placed and it's like blood on her face her eye Looks like It almost looks like she had been punched and scratched

On one of her eyes. That's so sad. That is so horrible. Um, but just wanted to give that little update So I saw this tick tock. It's tick tock clock um Where someone says true love doesn't exist anymore. No matter what you tell or how many times you say not to repeat They will always tell someone and especially bad news travels fast and I thought that was really interesting because I mean i'm guilty of talking about things on this podcast that are from my specific perspective where

Someone then has a perspective on what i'm saying and then that gets twisted So even if i'm saying something out of complete truth or my truth or my perspective or my view or whatever if it's bad news if it's um Just news in general if it's anything People take it and run with it, you know, so in real life. It's the same thing I feel like you have to dissect this and decide I do think that trust Does exist. There are some people that are way better secret keepers than others and then there are some people that say

um Why do you need to keep a secret? well, I mean like I'm trying to think of it's like well first of all You don't get to determine if it's a secret or if it's not If it's mine and also I already know you're gonna tell by saying that so But also just because you don't want something repeated doesn't necessarily make it a secret

This is true, too. This is very true. And I do think that trust does exist Maybe that is me being optimistic versus pessimistic But I also believe the second part of that no matter who you tell her how many times you say not to repeat They'll always tell someone I do believe that most people have A sounding board that they tell everything to I agree. Um Although I feel like I have I have at least one friend That I at least this is my belief and I don't know if it's true or not Maybe I'm giving her too much credit. Not sure

If I tell her not to tell somebody she wouldn't even tell her partner But I don't maybe that's just maybe that's just the perception I have of her whether she actually Doesn't tell her partner. I don't know um But when she says oh like I didn't even tell so and so because you told me not to Do I low key believe her like I believe her there's been a lot of things that you've told me that like I didn't tell anybody Yeah, I believe that like and maybe maybe it's a case by case basis like maybe it's like You can there are certain things that they don't repeat and maybe there's some things that are just so juicy that they just can't hold in

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You're in control right now stitch fix is offering our listeners $20 off their first fix at stitch fix dot com slash Combos that stitch fix dot com slash combos for $20 off today stitch fix dot com slash combos The next tiktok that I wanted to talk about which maybe you will have a different perspective on of than me So I'm scrolling on my 4u page and this woman is talking about her childhood and how her parents now This has to be this has to come from a place of wealth or some type of financially Yes, like it financially responsible people because I can't personally give each of my children $200 whatever

So this woman is talking about her childhood and how her parents would give her $200 a month And they were the kids were required to learn all about money this way with the $200 the parents would require them to save 30% of it To long-term savings for things like a home 10% they're big in the church and so 10% of it would go to I think it's called tea tithe tithe Okay, thank you another 30% to short-term savings for things like a laptop or a big ticket item And they're responsible to buy their own clothes with this allowance She says she was the third child and so a lot of hand-me-downs came to her from her two older sisters The older sister would sell her hand-me-downs to her

At full price. She had to buy the clothes herself. Okay. Wait. Wait. No. Sorry. I missed that up So the oldest sister would buy the clothes at full price and then sell the hand-me-downs to her sisters, which I thought was really smart She never asked her parents for dolls for anything and this started when she turned eight years old So like around Lincoln and Jackson's age Ages she claims that this helped her look for sales to get more for her money and on top of this all Her dad made them keep finance books So every single spending that they did she had to track it at 13 We they were required to make their own money when they were no longer given $200 from their parents

They got jobs at 14 and she thinks that this is the best system ever She believes that she appreciates how hard people work for their things because of this I will post the tick tock that this is from But I wanted to get your thoughts on it because I love the message behind it but you have to be financially responsible and also you have to be on top of Of something like this like you can't this isn't something in my opinion that you can start and kind of fall You know Choose it to be a priority sometimes and then other days it's not important

And then you don't think about it for a month or a week and then you know the next week you're back to it I don't think it's one of those situations. I feel like This situation specifically in order for it to work You would have to be on top of it and maintain it 100 percent of the time Okay, so this is this similar to you and I talking about chores and You know paying and being consistent with paying and if we are paying for chores or if we aren't paying for chores If you sometimes do it you sometimes don't Um, I think all those things have to be consistent. So if you're going to apply something like this

This is so very specific that you would have to be committed to that process Because also if you're trying to teach your kids these things and then fall off the wagon, aren't you essentially? um kind of productive because you're it's completely Unproductive right because you're not teaching them the consistency aspect of it is not it's no longer there and then It just goes back to like the commitment thing Well, you can't pick and choose when something is a commitment and when it's not I have heard of people

giving their children allowances um and Specifying like how what percentage has to be saved what percentage has to be tithed which it's a standard 10 percent Pretty much across the board. Um, what I've ever heard that you tithe 10 percent of your earnings um I don't know that everybody does that. Um, and then also

You have like a certain amount of money that you can just like I guess frivolously spend however you want to I would have a really hard time with this like I could apply that where I was paying like an allowance They were doing specific things outside of normal Chores so remember how we were talking about like I'm not going to pay you for doing something that like you should be doing anyway But if these are like above and beyond things and they have set above and beyond things I'm willing to pay for that also think that it's great to Teach them how to save But I don't think that I'm on board with

My kids selling each other clothes like within our house Um, I am on board with keeping a finance book and children learning how to balance a checkbook um Even though most people aren't using a checkbook anymore. I think it's still an important life skill um, and Also, I'm I'm not gonna like make my kids ever pay for like their own food and clothes Like that's why I am their parent Right. I could I definitely agree with you on that aspect. I just thought it was interesting because she

the woman in this Tiktok said that she feels like as an adult now was the best thing ever I mean, I think a lot of maybe a lot of people Love the way that their parents did certain things and so I'm really glad that it worked for them I think that was really cool. I thought this was a really cool Option for people who can stay consistent with it. I cannot stay consistent with it and I have a really hard time staying consistent with paying for chores even when they're above and beyond like the other day I sick wanted to buy something and I was like

I looked at him and I said how much money do I owe you because he'll do things that are above and beyond like if the dogs go outside and And they bring all their toys out there, which they do more often than I'm willing to admit and then the dog toys are just all over the yard That is not my kids responsibility. My kids did not want this dog. They don't care necessarily about Picking up dog toys in the yard Isaac will go out. He'll clean up the yard and stuff like that. And so He wanted something. I was like how much do I owe you? He's like 50 So I was like, all right, cool. Like you went above and beyond. I'll give you the extra money

Wait, tell me about this Teacher and the allergy to bananas Lindsay, I was so fucking shook when I saw this tick tock It made me so sick to my stomach and so sad because it was kids that were Lincoln and Jackson's ages um Jackson's in third grade or fourth third grade third grade so was Lincoln and I don't I cannot picture Jackson doing something like this and I know for a fact that Lincoln wouldn't do something like this I don't even think it would cross his mind This art teacher has an extreme allergic

Allergy an extreme allergy to bananas. She has signs posted outside of her classroom inside the classroom in the hallways This is a school-wide Policy essentially that you don't bring bananas to this teacher's classroom and she's highly allergic Well, the students I think it was second and third grade I decided that it would be funny to rub banana peels all over the teacher's door And door handle and she was sent into a media anaphylactic shock Yeah, and it made the news. I was so sick to my stomach because I feel like by

Lincoln and Jackson's ages they fully understand the difference between right and wrong I think that kids sometimes don't understand the severity of consequences Of an action like that and I think that's where it's the disconnect like they know what they're doing is wrong when they're doing it but I think they're they're focused on The action and not the consequence. It's going to come along with that action um I see that a lot at this age and I was actually talking to Jackson school counselor and she was like, you know at this age it's like a really third grade like a really hard age and

kids are really finding who they are and like their personality and um, kind of folding into like real I think that's kind of like when clicks kind of start forming forming in third grade. Um, and Whereas these students I don't know about the story We could have been thinking that they were doing something funny to see what happened. This could have killed this woman And then what what would they have done if it killed her? That's why I'm saying I don't think that most children

um think about The consequence of the action they're just thinking about seeing through The action and not worrying about the consequence and that goes back to you and I talking about How um, the consequence has to match the action what what matches What's the consequence that consequence that matches that action because that could have killed her Right that could have killed her. I mean, it's plastered all over the school all over the door all over the classroom

I don't know how you can match that I don't know how you help that the consequences sink in or help the reaction and the She went into anaphylact is anaphylactic or anaphylactic anaphylactic shock How do you explain that to because Lincoln Lincoln is allergic to bees He understands what that means and how much pain he was in when he got stung by bees so he understands that now he has an epi pen and

What that means so I it's I guess it's hard for but not all kids are Lincoln not all kids can understand the way that Lincoln understands also My nephew Bryce has um Peanut allergies he fully understood Caden has peanut allergies They understand what that is and what that means at an age because they they are allergic So I guess kids that are not allergic. They wouldn't have that understanding I guess but that's also where I think I think there should be more awareness around because you do see so many more allergies today than when we were growing up like you might have had the the rare child that had a peanut allergy and it was like rare

Now I feel like kids have so are we we are aware of so many more allergies or I don't know what it is that causes these allergies but The the seriousness of an allergy and what you know, someone's exposure to that That could could cause to happen um That to me is mortifying and I can tell you right now as a mother If I got the call from the school that my child was involved in something like that I don't know what I would do but I can tell you it wouldn't be good because I have no tolerance for stuff like that because to me that is bullying Right and I'm just thinking back to when I was in second grade. I

I don't remember ever Thinking about doing things like that and maybe that's a judgment But I just it's hard to wrap my head around it. That was never a thing but that also goes to I have said this before that society today is very different than when we were growing up and what Definitely didn't fly

Back in the 90s for sure People fly now acceptable now. And so, you know, I think we need to dial it back and There's a lot of things that I could say that Wait, did you say Pete things that were in the 90s are acceptable now or not acceptable? No, like like things that Kids do now would not have been acceptable in the 90s and I can't even imagine

Doing some of the things that the kids did now in the 90s because I can tell you what would have happened to me My ass would have been tore up. Oh, my ass would have been grass All right, I do want to tell you guys or remind you guys of something that I've been using I've been wearing you may see it in my lives when I'm talking with my hands or in pictures videos things like that And that is the aura ring So a healthier life starts with a deeper understanding of your body inside and out and your body does actually have a voice of its own So you just have to listen to it I wear my aura ring on my pointer finger and this is wearable technology that lets you know

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The aura ring delivers accurate personalized health insights all from a comfortable to wear ring And like kail said you receive personalized data in the aura app. So you can work on building healthy habits and living your best life I could honestly see myself competing with myself on how much sleep that I could get The aura ring is easy to wear water resistant comes in two styles five colors to match your aesthetic One small ring could make a world of difference in your health Visit aura ring.com slash coffee combos to find the right ring for you and get 15 dollars off your purchase That's aura ring.com slash coffee combos. Don't forget to use our link to save 15 dollars off on your aura ring The explosive new season of the real housewives of new jersey is back

And if you're anything like me you can't get enough That's why I'm here to tell you all about some of my favorite podcasts And why podcast one is the number one destination for all things jersey first up here from one of our favorite italian bombshells Hey, everyone. It's your favorite jersey housewife melissa gorge. Make sure to check out season two of melissa gorge on display Family takes center stage this season and the ultimate og is spilling all the tea here It's straight from the queen herself. Namaste bitches is all new every wednesday And if you haven't listened yet, here's what you've been missing me Teresa judice and my co-host crazy melissa fester listened to namaste bitches with Teresa judice and melissa gorge on display

Wherever you get your podcasts and it doesn't stop there. Check out podcast one dot com slash Versus and play to win by voting on hot topics and pressing questions about your favorite housewives. That's podcast one slash ver s us Okay, so we have some messages from the facebook and I want to get to them trigger warning um What is s a I don't know what that is sexual assault. Okay trigger warning for sexual assault Um

It's a multi question um thing so Do your do you check your kids phones and messages last night? I checked my son's text messages with his girlfriend. He is 13 and saw she told him that her ex boyfriend raped her I believe she's also 13 or 14 I asked my son this morning about the messages and I said that I wanted her mom's phone number because I felt like it was Important to let her mom know what I read

Am I wrong? I feel like it's a thin line And I don't know if I was wrong to cross it as a mom of both boys and girls. I felt was important So I hope I didn't overstep Um, you absolutely did not overstep because as parents um First of all the teacher saw this in school. They're mandated reporters So like if a teacher saw it they would have to report it. I feel like as parents you should have an obligation to other parents as fellow parents that

You know, you're all looking out for these kids together, right? No 100 percent. I agree with you I if I saw that in My kids phones. I do check my kids phones and I have seen Different platforms have different opinions about giving kids privacy and things like that but I and unfortunately Well, both fortunately and unfortunately kids have to have phones at younger ages these days because there's no landlines really and Think times are just changing. So unfortunately younger kids have to have phones and Like I said in the beginning of this episode is sometimes the kids are not fully responsible for them. So

What they're doing on their phones is kind of scary sometimes and in order to kind of keep them in check You have to you have to monitor what they're doing and what they're saying. Like I told Isaac just from like a gossipy Clicky standpoint. I said don't talk shit about anybody in text messages I said because you will see screenshots somewhere somehow Something that you told someone not to say we'll have screenshotted what you said and show somebody else I said so don't fucking play with that Second something like this if it was the other way around and it was my child That was saying that I was raped by the other person

I would want to know I would be upset if I knew another adult knew They questioned if I knew And didn't tell me I would be very upset. Um, because even if it turned out to not necessarily be accurate or true Which I'm not suggesting. I'm just saying if that was the case If it was something along the lines of like an attention-seeking thing, whatever the case may be that is still a problem in and of itself So we need to tackle this. Thank you for telling me. I'm gonna be more upset that, you know, my my child didn't feel comfortable You know one that it happened to them and two that they didn't feel comfortable enough to come to me directly

I think the whole situation is sad, but no, I absolutely think you're You did not cross any lines by checking your kid your child's phone and wanting to reach out to the other parent I also want to say that I um, was with one of my girlfriends just grabbing Mexican The other day and she was telling me about going through her boy's phone there in high school And she said you would be appalled at some of the things that I found And I was like, well, how do you address it? And she's like, how do you Head on just be honest like hey, I know it was probably

You're gonna feel it was an invasion of your privacy But in my opinion as your mother, you shouldn't have privacy like that And like what's going on in those text messages is wrong And some girls sending you photos of her naked body in high school wrong Not that not that there's an excuse to be sent in nudes, but we have all Done it. Um, probably most of us listening here have have sent it. Um You just shouldn't be sending like that stuff over text message. Anyway and back to the gossip Be a point that you made about Isaac and like screenshots and whatever

That gossiping and doing shit like that over text message I regularly talk to Jackson about none of his friends have his phone number for a specific reason because he is not ready To have that type of communication outside of school unmonitored Um, but if the occasional time Jackson wants to get a little silly and talk shit about will Or you know send will a text message that I'm making Jackson brushes teeth or you know, like whatever I will put I will put them both in a group text and be like, we're not talking shit So if you want to talk shit, then just talk shit on this group text Like say what you want to say kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, I definitely

I was speaking from experience and I tell Isaac that all the time, you know, I'm I'm telling you this from a place of experience I'm telling you this from a place of I have already been through this Do not make this mistake of doing these things and um, he does a really good job at you know, telling me A fair share of things and so I do trust that um, I hope He is hearing me. Sometimes I do get worried about am I getting through to my children, you know, like am I Are they hearing me or will they hopefully will they look back as an adult or an older Child, you know in their late teens look back and say, you know, one thing my mom taught me was this or one thing My mom showed me was this, you know, so I I hope that we're getting through to them

But it's really difficult. So that's scary. It's phones are scary. The social media is scary. All of it is scary and also Before we move on I just want to say my favorite thing to tell Jackson about his phone If you would be Afraid for me to see it or find out about it. Then you shouldn't be doing it. But that goes across the board for Into adulthood. Yeah, because if you don't want your partner or you know someone maybe Your your husband or your wife or something like that

To see something in your phone that it shouldn't be in their period I mean, I there is there is a fine line because you do adults deserve privacy in that way But some things, you know, you shouldn't you just shouldn't have on your phone or you shouldn't be doing Okay, well that brings me to a question for you. Oh, no Because I saw this on tiktok and it was this guy That was talking about how you should have an open phone policy and in a partner with a partner, okay And you should be able to freely go on their phone and they should be able to freely go on your phone

If you have nothing to hide then you won't care if they're going on it um I tend to agree And I think that if you have that type of policy, I think it's also an accountability Yeah, it is an accountability But also don't ask for anything That you can't reciprocate. So if you're asking to waste street. Yes, if you're asking for What did you call it? Um open

Communication communication policy or an open uh open phone policy open a phone policy. It has to go both ways Yeah, there's no there's no like my phone's not being open to you if your phone isn't open to me It's a two-way street. Like that's the whole point of it. Um, I think that if if more people had that I think that with social media and Just the amount of access that you have to other people today that it would be They would be held more accountable for the things that they're doing because if the phone's open Then you can go on it at any time the chances of them doing it

Um or swim none, but then it you know The the debate here is probably gonna be if you feel like they're gonna do it and that is their character to do it Why do you feel like you need the open phone policy for accountability? Like they just shouldn't do it Not because they there's an open phone policy Um, it gets tricky, huh? That's like I think I did I tell this story before something about Elijah was telling me about someone at work who he's like an older guy, but he doesn't have a phone password because He was trying to do a little bit of reverse psychology where

His partner his wife wouldn't go through his phone Because he didn't have a password and so what could I have to hide if I don't have a password? So she's not going to check because I don't have a password. So I'm not going to keep anything bad in there Turns out dude was cheating and she found out See, I think that um I I would say men because I only have experience with men. So I don't know about women. Um I think that the the more open they Just in my experience the more open that they seem

The more things that they have to hide and it is um a way for them to Make you feel safe It is a way for them to build false trust um, and They think that they're they're manipulate manipulating you and in a lot of ways it is it is a manipulation if you're not careful I don't care like if you at this point in my life

If you tell me like I don't have a password. I don't have this. I'm not doing this. No, bitch. I'm checking every app I am checking all messengers like I am that's the mistake that men make. They don't check All the things like I'm checking internet browser. I'm checking internet history messages on your instagram Do you have a twitter if you have a twitter? That's a red flag. I have a twitter, but you can't have one. It's a hypocrisy thing Uh, also, I'm checking your facebook messages. I mean, I don't need to do those things now But if I was to Need to I would and that's where the men fuck up. They don't check all the things. Okay. Wait. Here's another question Do you feel like?

someone who is overly like Checking and finding nothing So let's say like I had this open phone policy. This person has like been on my phone never finds anything I know they're going on my phone never finding anything um In my experience I learned it was because they were actually hiding something and trying to divert Even though they were finding nothing 1000

But like why why was I it's projection 32 or 33 when I found this out That's projection. I never understood what projection was until like you hear the word projection projection Oh, it says more about them than it does about you and like I never fully understood that until you're fucking three of therapy I did not understand what that meant when people say, oh They're accusing you of cheating because they're actually cheating. It's projection You're deflecting. You are wanting to place the blame on the other person Same thing for your phones. You're looking you're constantly looking for problems so that you don't get caught up with your problem And you can say you can turn around and say

Well, you this you did this and also in therapy I learned Um That when someone brings something up to your attention, it's that is the only subject should that should be coming up It's not a time for you to then bring up Well, I found this in your phone. You know what I mean? So like that's not that's not a time for you to do that It's what the topic is right here and now right now not Deflecting on two so the same people that are doing that Are going to be the same people that try to flip the argument when they get caught on the other person

But I found this on your phone Yeah, it's like first of all since it was so important that you found that on my phone Why the fuck am I just hearing about it when I found what I found on your phone? Right exactly exactly Because I will tell you about yourself. That is one thing. I'm like, I'm not going to sugarcoat shit I'm not going to make it look nice. Like I'm not going to do any that. I'm going to come in guns blazin um, I am going to get my licks back And I don't care like I am going to tell you about yourself and everything that you are

I want a gif that says I'm going to get my licks back. I want a gif of you of lindsay chrisley saying I'm going to get my licks my licks back. Okay, christin. If you're listening, please make me a gif That says I'm going to get my licks back. Okay. I I cannot I recently got a new package from begamore because I love this stuff I do so much damage to my hair because I bleach it and I know that I curl it I straighten it I do blowouts all the things and so I have done some damage to my hair over the years And if you're like me and struggle to have like that long hair Because of the damage of the split ends look no further because begamore has transformed my hair

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20% on your first order. That's v e g a m o u r dot com slash coffee combos Code coffee combos to save 20 at begamore.com slash coffee combos Okay, this next person says Is it frowned upon to be applying to jobs while you're on the job or to be looking for a job while you're employed I'll admit I've applied to jobs on my work computer But it usually is when it's slow and I've completed my work task any time I've been on an interview I always schedule it during my lunch hour. I don't ask for pto

But apparently a lot of people think it's frowned upon first of all um What you do with your paid time off is what you do with your paid time off I don't care if anyone disagrees with that, but if I am off whether I am paid or not I am always going to be looking for a better opportunity somewhere or what the next thing is when it comes to work Well, and Who's to say that the company that you're working for isn't Interviewing your replacement like they're no one's

Saying there's no job security out here in this bitch anymore. Like there's no fucking job security They are looking for the next cheapest replacement for you. You do not owe your workplace loyalty You owe them the tasks that are promised and they owe you the pay Anything you do with your paid time off paid time off non paid time off your breaks. Those are not that's not anyone's business I think if you're working that this scenario is a little different to me if you are um working for an individual and there is like this personal relationship that you know

you're like working for or with one specific person not a corporation um I think that this changes a little bit because I personally think that I would feel so offended and betrayed if I knew that Someone was like searching for a job And didn't come to me and just let me know, you know, like hey like This is what I'm doing. Like I feel like, you know, this isn't a good fit anymore and I'm looking to kind of like move on Um, I would respect that and would not be upset that they were looking for another job because it also gives me the opportunity

To find that person's replacement Um, but when you're talking about a corporation, um these big Corporate companies they don't care personally about you like no, they don't it's what they can get out of you and the time that they're paying you for what they're paying you for and You are disposable 100 you are disposable period um since we talked a little bit about schools on this episode I had seen This tweet and it was talking about school districts and it says teachers and school staff

We know how much stress you are under and how close you are to breaking down your physical and mental health are our priority Please focus on self-care and take care of yourself Also school districts, please share this email with your staff We are concerned with a trend of using sick leave to take much needed break from stresses of work Employees often refer to it as mental health day regretfully the mental health day Reasoning is a misconception among some employees Employees cannot use sick leave to get away from the stresses of work and enjoy some time off They can use personal leave for that purpose. That is why we have negotiated personal leave days

The district funds sick leave as it would a short term disability insurance policy Our budget for sick leave is not based on everyone using every day available It is not a use or lose benefit The funding will not sustain unlimited use if employees Abuse sick leave the district will have no choice but discontinue This benefit and switch to short term disability benefit package managed by an insurance provider Most short term disability benefit programs require a 10 Require a 10 contract day waiting period and completion of lots of paperwork before the benefit is paid

That means that there is no paid benefit until 10 days have been passed. We don't want that Please we must protect our sick leave benefits when we question sick leave Use we will require the employees to to provide a health care provider certification We will ask you to help us by reporting sick leave abuse and avoiding temptation to use it for anything other than qualified health care needs respectfully um First of all, I'm pissed. I'm so pissed for the teachers like this I'm so pissed off for the teachers

I am so pissed off for the teachers when this with this because it is so hypocritical number one number two You're already Severely underpaying these professionals these people who care for our children eight to ten hours a fucking day If you include aftercare and before care, um, sometimes school has have those programs Yes, ma'am No, like absolutely the fuck not. Okay, not only are they basically calling

people out for using sick leave because In my opinion these teachers feel like they don't have any other choice Other than to use sick leave to get the time off because if they went to the school and said I need a much needed Mental health break That's not going to be approved because they truly don't care about your mental health as long as you're doing your job and not putting them in a Bad position. Also, this is bullshit for, uh, a school district. Um, probably This is just one example, but this probably happens very often to report abuse of sick leave

So now not only are you saying that if they need a mental health day? They can't take a sick day and if they do and you know that someone else is doing it, you're gonna narc on them No, I'm not fucking narkin. No, I'm not because I'm taking it with them when I find out that they're doing it I'm also doing it. Right. So Here's the thing for me because I have teachers that are friends of mine That have kids as well What if that mental health day that self care day that they're that they're you know, using a sick day for

Is the only time the only eight hours that they have without students in their classroom And without kids at home Maybe their kids their personal children that they've birthed or adopted Whatever the case may be are at school under the care of somebody else and they need this day to Have their mental health day where it is fully about them. I don't understand how they could even Is mental health not like that if you don't take care of your mental health it would possibly The consequence could be that you develop depression anxiety other things so

To me and my personal opinion as a parent if my child's teacher is in desperate Or feels in desperate need that the only way they can get a mental health day is to take a sick day I would absolutely advocate for that teacher to take that sick day Because one I don't want my child subjected to someone who is mentally Not able to take on that task, which is why they're requesting for that mental health day because they are not able to do what they need to do in the classroom This really pisses me off And I think that there's not enough emphasis put on mental health With students and with teachers and school settings period

We had had someone write in about you know how I said Um, sometimes I just like want Jackson to take a mental health day and like it's good for you And you shouldn't have to like have an excuse to take a mental health day Like you should literally be able to send a note to the school saying My child needed a mental health day and that is why he was not at school and to me that should be More than enough more than enough and considered an excused absence But it's not actually just texted my girlfriend the screenshot of that

Yes, um email. She's a teacher and she said The only way our district could get away with an email similar to that is just because there's such a shortage of substitutes But I think they would more so ask for as much notice as possible instead of a last minute call out So they would never tell she said I doubt they would ever tell us to not take a mental health day But I really don't know where they are funding where they get the funding for our sick leave I just assumed it was part of the district budget. That's what she said So the teachers are not even in the know about where the budgets come from About their mental health day, but agreed. I do know and she doesn't teach at my kids school

But I know for my kids district They are so short on substitutes that one of my girlfriends who teaches actually asked me To go sub because I have my degree all I would have to do is take like a couple hour Class and I would go get like a hundred dollars a day or something for subbing Unfortunately, I don't have the type of schedule that would work for that. I mean, I might do it just to do it in the off chance that I could but That I do know is that our district is so short on subs But like she said just give enough notice like hey, I'm going to take a mental health day

But also that's not always possible. That's not always possible to give, you know, three weeks notice for a mental health day Well, because you might just like wake up and feel like you are in crisis or like spiraling and you need that day right then I will say one of my closest girlfriends is a teacher and anytime she's ever called out of work I know that she is always actively herself tried to find a sub before requesting the time off um So I mean, I do know that there is shortage of subs. That's just like a known Unknown thing like in schools. I totally would sub As well and I if I knew that I could step in because a teacher

Needed to take a mental health day totally like I can go up there And you know, I mean, I'm not probably going to be doing the best job But like I can go up there and sit at the desk and like wrangle the children speaking of wrangling um Let's wrangle our foul play. Okay. I'm ready. I always get scared of these foul plays because you just never know what you're gonna get I know so So foul play hi kale and lindsay Debated on sharing this one from the sheer trauma of mentally reliving it

But here we go I had a huge crush on an older guy literally from elementary school on like I was in fourth grade and this guy in ninth grade To my surprise after I graduated high school. He started messaging me on facebook asking to hang out first of all What is the difference between fourth grade and ninth grade? Is it that high like is it five years? Oh, that's not bad I mean in school age it is but as adults. It's not okay Of course, I said yes I was like living a crazy fantasy and things were physical early on we were at his apartment and he took me into his bedroom I could have fainted. I was so excited. It was some pretty vanilla sex

But took a turn for the absolute worst when he started calling me mom moaning the word mom and literally yelling and screaming mom What the hell needless to say I was dry and done who the hell does that? What a shitty fucking way to live out your fantasy like I have 1000 percent been like had such a crush on somebody But I've never actually like it never came to fruition I cannot imagine if I was like so excited to like hook up with somebody or do that and that's how it turned out I would be so fucking pissed and also mortified I mean, I can't really say because I wasn't doing like the hookup thing back in those times So I wasn't either but I can't imagine had I done that what like mom

I couldn't even imagine hooking up, but I'm just saying if I was hooking up and This was like somebody that I fantasized about from fourth grade on and then they you know, like I dropped my panties for him and He started yelling mom like absolutely not like I that to me is like A reason to call the cops like that to me something's wrong like something's very wrong

And what's going on and like do you think I'm your mom? I would be so pissed off I would be so pissed off I I literally don't have any more word for this Okay, next next. Okay. This is a long one. This one's a doozy. Okay. Hey ladies. Love you guys on the podcast so much I had been debating submitting this foul play for a while But after the labia swelling discussion I decided to just put it all out there When I was in high school probably around 17 years old I was still pretty naive and embarrassed about discussing anything badge related with my mom or anyone else for that matter

I noticed one day that I was starting to get some discomfort and a little itchiness down there and was mortified Of the thought of asking my mom what to do about it because I was nervous It was an std or something related to having sex for the first time and there was no way I was having that talk Uh, the problem started getting worse and worse And I was trying to come up with home remedies to try and fix it My mom was the queen of using the osborn on everything So I decided to lather the kitty up and pray for some relief in the morning That was absolutely the wrong thing to do because I woke up in the morning in extreme discomfort

And discovered my labias had swelled to the actual size of a grown man's ball sack Terrified I had to confess to my mom what I had done and she insisted I let her feel how swollen they were through my unbies. She panicked and rushed me to the hospital I couldn't even get I couldn't even close my legs together. So I had to waddle in looking like I pooped my pants A team of doctors and all the med students killed me now had me laying spread eagle on the exam table Like a damn science experiment because they had never seen anything like it Imagine a group of young cute med students having to touch your swollen cap the size of a grapefruit I don't know how I made it out alive. I had to keep repeating the story of my stupid mistake to everyone that came in to check me out

Turns out all I had was a dang yeast infection and was having an allergic reaction to the neosporin What could have been a simple treatment with some monostat? But instead I took the longest most morifying route to getting it cleared up Moral of the story never slather your badge and neosporin and never be too embarrassed to ask for proper medical care Holy fuck. I would die. Okay. First of all, I think that that probably is a common thing To be like afraid that some things like going on and then you don't want like your parents to know Um, I could imagine that's like probably a very common thing at that age Also, I immediately thought it was a yeast infection. Um, when you started reading

Really? I didn't even, I didn't, it didn't even cross my mind. I didn't know what it was. I didn't even think about it I diagnosed people with stuff all the time. Like there's a couple people in my life who diagnosed with IBS like Some other problems. Um Like no and don't don't just be wiping shit on your kuchi. Like no, I wouldn't know that you don't Know why you're putting it there. Like but honestly, this just goes to show that we need more We need to remove the stigma about um, you know talk and discussion around These types of things because yes, I don't know if it would fall under the category of sex sex education But maybe like I sure as shit wouldn't have known what a yeast infection was in my teens

I would have no idea No, so I just feel like at least in health class if we're not going to talk about sex like could we talk about Common things that could happen that are not related to sex. Like this is still kind of sexual health But I would like my kids to know about yeast infections and uti's and how to prevent them what type of you know What type of symptoms these are they have, you know, things like that see I would have also been scared. Like if this happened to me, I would have been like mortified to go to my parents And that's why I'm saying that I think it's probably like a common thing

um, but I do think that We should be comfortable having these conversations with our parents and normalize having those conversations Just like having conversations about sex stds All these things so that it's not a shock But the parents have to start them the parents have to be open to talking to these kids about them too because My mom never did unless I brought it up to her like I straight up asked her But it was already too late at that time because I was already fucking like I was already having sex when I shouldn't have been so

Yep, I mean the parents have to do Their job as parents and be willing to talk about it and not shame their children I think a big part of it is Shaming kids and you know making them feel bad about certain things that are natural Yep 1000 percent agree Um, well on that note, I am gonna go to sam's club. Um wanted to ask you really quick though Are you a sam's club or cosco girl?

Um, I really prefer cosco But I don't have a cosco down here by me. The closest one is like almost an hour away So sam's club is closer. Okay. We'd love to know what everyone else thinks because I like specific things from sam's club and specific things from cosco Um, if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on instagram, make sure you follow us over there If you have not subscribed to us, you can do that by searching the purple podcast app Type in coffee combos click subscribe put the fit star leave us a written review You can also find us on any other podcast app and always first at podcast one Hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See you

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