Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - I'm Not Mentally Stable Enough For This Conversation

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

CC398: Kail and Lindsie give their experiences with giving and receiving the silent treatment but are flabbergasted at the idea of anyone doing it to their children. Are you a LawnMower parent? Today we learn a new parenting term that Lindsie might be a part of and Kail explains how she wants self sufficient kids. And speaking of kids, another parenting article mentions the importance of teens balancing their family time which resonates with Kail. News of a lady sending fart videos to her boyfriend's ex is so unhinged and we are NOT here for it. Thank you to our sponsor! Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month. IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Lume Deodorant and get 15% off with promo code Coffeeconvos at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Orgain: For 30% off your order, head to Orgain.com/CONVOS and use code CONVOS.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family,

and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Good morning. Happy February. Happy. Well, it's not Thursday for us, but it's Thursday for everybody else listening. I hope everybody is having a fantastic week. I hope pump day was the best because hump day is not the best for me. Yeah, I'm back on my my sex game now. I'm. I'm in a place where I'm healed enough to have regular scheduled programming.

Oh. Regular maintenance, if you will. You're starting this off hot. Yeah, I actually woke up last night to Elijah at like two in the morning and I was like, wait a minute, we haven't done this in a long time. And I was actually, you know, I was feeling a little bit, I was a little tired.

What'd you wake up to? A boner? No, no, no boner. He was actually, unpopular opinion. I, maybe people like to be woken up with a boner. It infuriates me. Do not stick me with your dick if you haven't initiated another way. So if I feel a boner in my back, that is the fastest way to get turned down. So what, like, what's the remedy for that situation? You could do

anything else you could rub my back, you could. So you need some like soft lovin before bone. If you stick me with if you wake me up in the middle of the night to a hard dick in my back, that is grounds for violence. See, I love that though. Oh, see. Okay. I also got a lot of backlash for what we said on one of the one of these prior episodes over

the last month. And I forgot to tell you this on the on the last episode, people were pissed off at me for saying that exchanging sexual favors is in my opinion, a form of abuse. People were highly upset that I said that. And then, wait, wait, wait. And then when I called Elijah and asked him about it and he was like, okay, if that's what you need or whatever. And then, and then I brought up the boner, like, or the boner, then I brought up the blowjob and he was like, um, Oh, like that sounds good. And people were like, and then she tried to cover it up. She tried to backtrack and he did it. And it's like, no, he, that he never saw that coming. He never fucking saw that coming. And he already said yes. So I still stand

10 toes down on the fact that I do believe it is abusive People were highly upset with me about that. But that's my that's my opinion. I also may have a skewed perspective slash opinion because of my history of This sort of thing. I can completely understand that and I don't think that what you're saying is necessarily wrong I think that people just decide whatever they want to decide about whatever the delivery is and then run with that situation. That's the way you feel you're perfectly entitled to feel that way. What I forgot to say is I definitely would participate in said abuse. If the only thing I had to do was suck dick to get three hours of extra sleep, sign me up. I don't know. I just have such strong feelings about it. I mean, it's like they're so turned

on by you and they got a good release. So it's like, I've done something nice for you. So you're doing something in return. for me. I probably need to sleep and my jaw needs to rest. And I love that. But when it comes to watching your own kids, I'm never like taking care of your children so that your partner can get adequate sleep. I would never in my own personal life that would never happen. I'm just telling you in my own personal life, I absolutely would participate in said activities. Well, I'm sure that the Facebook group will love to hear that. They can still be pissed off at me and they can love you but I am not I'm not game not down. Like also,

I feel like I have a super healthy sex life. So I just don't know that a blowjob would be necessary in the morning to get me three extra hours of sleep because it was probably like a laid it down earlier in the night before. So they're not going to be easily bribed by sex for things like that because they're like, oh, like, that's not that's not it. How many times are we having sex a week now? We started off slow with two times this week and I think that moving forward we can escalate it from there, escalate the frequency. So what do

you think is like the perfect number of sexual activities in a seven-day week? I don't know what I've answered this in the past, but I would say in my current state of life with children activities, being tired, all the things, I think every other day is sufficient. I'm saying like five days a week. Okay. That's probably fair for where you're at. You have one child, you have 50%, sometimes you have a more than that.

He's also older, so he's able to be entertained more. I think by the time we get all the kids to bed and I still lay down with Creed every single night, by the time I come downstairs from that, because sometimes it takes him an hour to fall asleep, I'm exhausted. And so we're going every other day. It's an overstimulated mama situation, which might be why you wake up with dick in your back at 2am. Thankfully, he didn't do dick in my back. I think he, he's never really done that. So I'm thankful for that. But I need to ask you, okay, this is completely unrelated to sex

life. You bought Mel Robbins book. Yeah. And I saw a clip of her say that the silent treatment is a sign of a massively immature person. Anyone who stops talking to you and doesn't give you an explanation and you don't know what you did is a huge problem. How do you feel about that? I would agree with that. I also think that passive aggressive behavior is a sign of massively immature person? There was a period of my time where I did the silent treatment, and it's not something that I practice now because I do think that it's just not productive. You

get nothing out of it. Now, I do think that if you know what you did and someone is not talking to you, I do think that's a different scenario. And I don't think that that's what Mel Robbins is referring to. She specifically says, someone who doesn't give you an explanation, and you don't know what you did, and you kind of have to play this game. And there's a psychological sort of conflict going on in your own head, because you don't know what you did. That is a completely separate conversation. So I don't want to confuse the two. I feel like sometimes I'm a slower processor of emotions. And sometimes I just need to take a beat. Like I have become very comfortable through therapy and I've had to work on this

because I was a big like say nothing at all person would know what was done, but I would just like play the avoidance game. Right. And that to me is also unhealthy if it's like for an extended period of time. I think taking five, which is what my therapist told me, she said, it's perfectly healthy for you to communicate. Like this is what you did and this is how it made me feel. And so now I need to take five

and take a step back from this situation because there is going to be no productive conversation that's gonna come from this because right now I'm toxic. Okay. So, but how long is too long? Because I found myself into, I found myself in a situation like that last year. Actually it's been 14 months. It's been a really long time. I found myself in a situation like that before where I could not, and I literally said, I will talk to you when I'm ready. However, things went even further south and got even more toxic. So I was never able to talk to that person when I was ready.

What do you do in those situations where there's so much that you need to get together and it's just not because like I had called one of my girlfriends and I was like, this is a scenario. This is what's going on. I'm not ready to talk about it. And I told said person I wasn't ready to talk about it, but I will talk to you when I'm ready. And they did not, because I do think it's sort of like a catch 22, they deserve to know, but if I'm not ready, then what? I think it's always best practice to just let feelings be known upfront. Like you're

already having the feelings of whatever has bothered you, right? Being an adult is being able to go to another person in a healthy way and saying, hey, you did this and I really don't appreciate it. So for these reasons alone, I am processing what you did and how it made me feel. I'm not ready to have a conversation with you, but I wanted to be clear in my delivery why I feel the way that I feel. Okay. So in that case, I fucked up. I think I realized that now, but I didn't necessarily want to believe it for a long time. I do think that if I would have just communicated my feelings, I think the end result would still be the same. I just don't think our relationship

would have been the same. But I also feel that if I would have just said, this is what you did, and I spelled it out, and it's like, you don't have to agree with how I feel about it. But this is why I cannot like speak to you right now. It would would have been a little bit of a better ending, if that makes sense. I've been in situations to where somebody has done something to me and I've made it clear in my delivery on what I know that they have done. The fact that I was not ready to talk about it, gotten into multiple string of busy work days or be on a work trip. And my priority is now that.

My priority is not processing whatever you did because your action was what your action is. And then it's almost like it's too late by the time I come back around to it. It's almost like it doesn't. Once I get to the point of addressing, if like five days have gone by and I haven't said anything about it, then I go back to the table to try to address it. Yes, I have had time to process it, which is great. But that person, what I found that person is so frustrated in the fact that it's taken me five days to get to that point that they're not willing to meet me where I'm at anymore. So that's what happened. By the time that I was ready,

it was too late for that other person. They've already expressed their grievances and their frustration in other ways. But that's the risk that you have to take when you choose to make the choice to not speak on it right at that moment. If I could go back, I mean, I still think maybe parting ways was the best case scenario, but if I could go back, I would have said X, Y, and Z right off the bat and we could

have potentially had a conversation at a later date. But if not, you knew how I felt and what happened. 1000%. I have gotten to a point that I'm not going to sit on something probably more than 24 hours because at that point, if I haven't thought about it within that 24 hours, it obviously wasn't important enough for me to process. So either I don't need to be in that situation anymore and I need to make that clear, or I need to dedicate the time to process something that bothered me that bad and address it. Fair, Completely fair.

Silent treatment is absolutely the worst thing though. It's abuse. I feel like it's abuse. And I don't want to overuse the word abuse because I do think that people will come for us for that. And I think the overuse of buzzwords is sort of changing the way we see things and not everything is abuse, not everything is a trigger. It's also not my problem to, you know, censor what I do or what I say because of your triggers. Like, I think I do think that there is some of that going on. But I do think that the silent treatment specifically is a form of like mental abuse. It's a mental

game if nothing else. If it's not abuse, it's a game that people and a tactic that people use to get whatever desired outcome it is that they're looking for. And I definitely think that it's not okay. So whenever I was married, Will and I could be in the same house and both kind of operated somewhat similarly. Like he was a silent treatment person and I was a silent treatment person. So when you've got two people.

But was it you guys knew what the other one did or was it a a situation? Okay, so that's different. I think that's different. I'm talking about the abuse where you're in a household, whether it be with a child, a partner, a parent, whatever. And you have no idea what you did. And somebody is giving you the silent treatment. That's what that is abuse. That 1000% is completely unhealthy situation. This podcast is sponsored by Orgain. Orgain believes real nutrition has the power to make a real difference in people's lives. And I am obsessed with Orgain's organic plant protein powder. I do it in the chocolate and I add a little bit of the PB2 powder and it is so good it tastes like a dessert to me. It packs 21 grams of

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How do we feel about silent treatment to our children? Because I don't participate in that. I'm going to be clear in my delivery on what it is that you've done, why I'm upset with you, why you possibly have disappointed me. I'm going to let it be known and I'm going to say, we need to take five and you need to go find another area of this house and I'm finding this area and this is my real estate and that's yours. And when you decide to have a conversation, because I'm always ready to have a conversation

with you, you can find me. I don't even know what Giving the silent treatment would look like to my children Like if they did something wrong, I would give them the silent treatment or if they did something and I'm upset with them I would give it I like I can't even imagine a world where a cuz I'm trying to think if my mom I guess like I experienced this. I don't even know if Suzy gave me the silent treatment. I'm trying to think back. Like I also, Kristen said she experienced this as a child. Like your parents, Kristen would give you the silent treatment. Did you know what you did wrong

at that time? Oh, see, I, my kids are going to know, like if they did something, one, they know they, they know when they did it, but two, they know if they didn't tell me and I found out, they're going to know, we're going to have conversations about it. They're going to be sick of hearing conversations about it. I want to say Susie gave me the silent treatment, but it was more like I knew what I did and she was mad and it was part of the punishment, not necessarily that I didn't know what I did and she gave me the silent treatment. So but I can't either scenario, whichever way, whichever way I can't imagine doing that to my children. I experienced this as a child also.

Which form of it? The one where you knew what you did or the one where you didn't know what you did? A combination of both. No, that's so sick. For example, and I'm not saying if people are listening to this and they do it to their children, whatever works for you. If it doesn't, whatever. My dad would do this and it would be a situation of maybe he's like in his workday in his office. And I knew report cards came out. And at that point, they didn't have like online

grading systems like they do now. Right? Right. Right. Right. Right. I knew that he knew because at that point they were getting emails like reports were sent home or the automated phone call from the school, you know, quarter grades came out or whatever, look for them in your child's backpack. If I knew that I had done fucked up and it was my responsibility to take my stuff to my parents, not for them to come and find it, it would be a silent treatment on both ways because I'm, maybe it wasn't a silent treatment on my part. Maybe it was, I was playing an avoiding game and then my dad was playing, I'm going to give you the silent treatment until you do what you know you're supposed to do. But then there would be times that there would

be an upset situation, not know what was done and kind of a game of fuck around and find out and you come to me when you're ready to tell on yourself. Now that you say that, now that you say that, I feel like I've been in a situation as a child where it was like, I knew I did something and I came home and my mom had already known that I did it. And so she gave it like a few minutes of a silent treatment to see if I was going to tell before the conversation was like, I know what you did kind of thing. But as far as like going hours and hours or days, I cannot recall a time right now off the top of my head. Kristen said, I know someone who still uses it as a form of punishment for an adult child because

they know it bothers them so much. That's why that's why they do it. Yeah, happened to me too, as an adult as a child. And I think, you know, we regularly talk about people who have multiple children, they parent each of those children very differently. So I do think that some parents use certain tactics with certain children, knowing that it would get under their skin or bother them or be what they deem as the most effective form of punishment.

I don't know. I have a lot of fucking kids and I don't give any of them the silent treatment. I also am when couples specifically and maybe other types of relationships do it too, but you know that there is something that's bothering your partner and you're like, what's wrong? And they're like, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. But you know for a fucking fact that something is bothering them, that's at the point where I'm like, okay, you had your chance to talk about it. Do not, and we've talked about this before,

don't bring it to me tomorrow, don't bring it to me next week. Because at that point, it sort of goes back to what we talked about before where it's like, don't come back to me in five business days. Like I'm not, we're not doing this. Five business days. It's like, I will talk to you in roughly 72 hours and 23 minutes about this. And I'm watching my stopwatch and I'm not ready to talk about it right now.

I do have a very, very bad habit. And I know this about myself. That if something's bothering me and I haven't determined if I want to address said situation or if it's not worth addressing the situation and I need to like sit in it for a minute, but I'm also very honest when it comes to my emotions. So I can't just run a fakery bakery as if nothing's going on. See Elijah is really good at like last night when he brought something up to me. I had no idea something was wrong. And if that's what he's going to do, if he needs to process his feelings for a little

while, don't you fucking dare act like something is wrong and then not tell me for four days. I'm glad I had no idea. He literally put his book down when I came in the room and he was like, so something's been bothering me. And I looked at him, I was shook because I'm like, I had no idea. But like, thank you. Because if you would have given me anxiety for four days while you processed your like issues, that would have pissed me off too.

Yeah. Because now I have a mental health issue that I'm trying to navigate because of your silent treatment and your bullshit. I'm very, very aware that if I'm processing something, someone comes to me and says, is anything going on? I will flat out say no. And it's not because I'm trying to manipulate that person in any way or cause anxiety to that person. It truly is like, is this worth addressing or not? Yeah, no, I agree with that too. Like because not everything, certain things just, if they're not going to, if there's not going to be a resolution or they're not going to, no, I agree with that too. Like because not everything, certain things just if they're not gonna if there's not gonna be a resolution or they're not gonna Yeah, I agree with you. I I

and then you get you get into a long like downhill spiral of is it worth addressing or is this a deal breaker to me or is this a crossing of boundaries to me like that's a lot of processing that's fucking going on and I might just not want to talk about it. So I'm flat-out gonna lie to your face and say no, I'm fine. I mean Some times there's a gray area. You know what I mean? Have you heard of being called lawnmower parent? Excuse me. I've never heard of lawnmower parents until literally yesterday when I saw this on parents.com. The article says five signs that you're a lawnmower parent.

I want us to individually go through these and see if it applies to us. It says most parents have high hopes for their children aiming to raise self-sufficient individuals who can make thoughtful decisions and tackle life challenges independently. The difficulty lies in nurturing this independence while offering appropriate support. If you often find yourself stepping in to clear obstacles or solve problems for your child, you may be unintentionally practicing lawnmower parenting and experts think that it's not always a good thing. It says, while this approach is often driven by good intentions, it can hinder children from developing essential problem-solving skills and resilience. Recognizing the red flags of lawnmower

parenting is a crucial step towards promoting a more balanced way of supporting your child. It says, what is a lawnmower parent? Lawnmower parenting, sometimes also known as snowplow parenting, involves parents who work to clear away any obstacles in their child's path. These parents aim to protect their children from dealing with challenges by stepping in to solve the problem for them instead. In a quote, it says, lots of parents want to keep

their children safe and feel the need to do all that they can to achieve this even when it's too much on them or their child. I definitely think I agree with this article because, and we talk about this all the time, it's like, are we doing too much? Is this lifestyle sustainable for our kids when they're adults? Like there are several things, right? Micromanagement, lack of boundaries, overprotectiveness, avoidance of self-advocacy, and constant intrusion. Lawnmower parents closely oversee and monitor every aspect of their child's life to an excessive degree, including academic, social, and self-sufficient. I oversee.

If I get an email that says that he didn't do something, I'm going to ask him about it and he's probably going to be self-motivated to make up the work, do the work, et cetera. Lack of boundaries. Lawnmower parents tend to make decisions for their children without considering their autonomy. Okay. I don't feel like I do that. Overprotectiveness lawnmower parents take, will take extraordinary measures to ensure their child never experiences failure. See, I don't, I want my kids to be resilient. I want them to have grit. I want them to have character. I want them to understand what it means to fail and to get up and to pick yourself. Like I don't want my kids to be, I call my kids knockoff NEPO babies, but not quite a NEPO baby, but like could be potentially

depending on who they know. No, I don't want to do any of these things. Like I want them to be self-sufficient and figure it the fuck out. And that's why I talked last episode about the kids washing the walls. I'm not going to stop Elijah from doing that. If they got the walls dirty, they need to be, you know, self-disciplined enough to either not do it again. They clean the walls, not do it again, like that kind of thing. They have to do that.

They have to pick up what they're, what they dropped. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I don't even even I don't know. So for example, I have two two examples. And I do think that I am much more of a lawnmower parent than you are. I am very overprotective. And if there is a situation that I know like trouble could ensue and said situation, or I know he's going to put himself in danger. I probably am am going to step in but not to the point that it's going to prevent possible said danger from happening. I'm going to step in and say, Hey, that's not really a

smart idea. If you choose to do it know that there might be consequences that you could hurt yourself. But do you think I am going to throw up the red flag that like if you keep swinging that fishing rod around here with a hook on the end, you're likely gonna hook your own ass. Please don't do it. But if you continue doing it, just know you're going to be hurt and I'm not going to feel sorry for you. It's kind of like the it's kind of like the time we talked about, we talked about kids going out in the cold and you telling them, hey, grab a coat and they don't do it. Natural consequence, right?

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I do think that I am somewhat of a natural consequence parent-er, but there is one situation that presented itself last week. So Jackson School has like this discipline chart. I don't know if your school has it or not, but it like is off of a point system. We have them but they don't use them regularly. Like don't even put this in their kids in that kid's head because you're not even using it kind of thing. Okay, well Jackson School does use it. And there is a list of punishments that are

on this discipline card. So it could be anywhere from like, running in the hallway, being out of your seat during instructional time, blah, blah, blah. Once you get a certain amount of points off, one of the punishments is like half day of in school suspension. Jackson got that. Well, then it got time for the quarter to class party, which was taking place last Friday at school from 12 to 2. From those points that he got taken off, he had already served half day of ISS. So I emailed the teacher and say, what time is the quarter to class party starting? Because you're telling me Jackson's not eligible. That's like a double punishment situation, right?

Agreed. I agree with because he has already served his punishment for those points off in the half day of in school suspension. I agree with you. So she emails back and says the class party next Friday starts at noon. I said, great, he will be checking out at 11.45. In that situation, am I a lawnmower parent? Possibly would be identified as a lawnmower parent. Not that I don't want him to have to suffer consequences,

but he already suffered a consequence. So when you said he'll be checking out 11.45, he'll be checking out of ISS? No, he had already served the ISS way ahead of this. They're already working on a whole new quarter discipline chart, had not had the rewards party for the last quarter's discipline chart. And he had to serve half day of ISS plus was not eligible. I see what you're saying.

Okay. So you're saying even though you didn't agree with it, she still was holding that he couldn't go at 12 from 12 to two. And that's her prerogative for her to hold that. But it's also my prerogative as a parent to say, I don't believe in this double punishment type situation. Like let it fucking go. I would agree with you. I, Elijah and I just had a conversation about consequences matching the crime. The crime. And I'm pretty sure last time he was like not seeing what I was saying. And I think the other, I think it was last night.

Same thing. Because I think that even, and I can't speak for you, but like for me, I always got double, triple, quadruple punished for the same thing. And it was like, what do you mean? I don't feel like that is effective. It's not effective and it's just not helpful. And I don't think that it, you're not driving the point home by continuing to punish them for the exact same thing in my opinion.

Well, and then the bigger part of the problem was, okay, he served the, the punishment was half day of ISS then miss this rewards party, right? Well, this rewards party is taking place in the classroom. That means he's going to the office again for another two hours. So why not let's just do a full day of fucking ISS and then goes to rewards party because why we're having a rewards party based off of behavior, but we're not having a rewards party based off of academic. I don't like that. Like should all of the kids then that didn't get A's and B's not be eligible if they had

an academic rewards party? Did you tell the teacher you didn't agree with her decision? You want me to read the email? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. I want to know.

Okay. Hold on. So I said, I said, Good morning. I received the email this morning about upcoming events for the class. Can you please let me know what time and the date the rewards party will be next Friday? Since he is not eligible for that, I can either keep him home from school or pick him up before the party. She said it will be from 12 to two on Friday. That was it. I just let it be known, he's getting checked out. I don't, I'm not aware of rewards parties for behavior and things like that. I don't necessarily know if I agree with them in general only because with inclusion ADHD, I suffer from ADHD myself.

I don't necessarily know that I agree with because what someone who is neurodivergent with someone's best behavior or whatever for someone who's neurodivergent compared to someone who's neuro typical, I don't think can be held to the same standards. Um, Kristen and I have had this exact conversation about this, like breakdown of punishments because I can only give him ADHD medication so early in the morning. Right. So the majority of the time, if he's outside of his area or something like that, it's normally in the morning time during morning work, his medicine hasn't kicked in. But we can say the same about grades.

You cannot hold... We all went to school with those kids that were valedictorian or the kids that were in all AP classes. We all went to kids- It wasn't me. It wasn't me. We all went to school with people that were different. And I just don't think that a rewards party for behavior or for academics is appropriate for elementary and intermediate school children. I really don't. And if you're going to do it, I don't think that you can

single somebody out, single one person out or two people out or a handful of people out. I think if you're going to do it to celebrate those that are being celebrated, you don't need to make it known to the entire class. Like excluding Jackson specifically is like, not only does the whole class know that, but Jackson also knows that. So I just feel like if you're acknowledging someone in particular, you can do that privately and celebrate with the class. And the class doesn't necessarily need to know that that person specifically is being celebrated. And maybe I'm reading too much into it and maybe this is making me a lawnmower

parent because I'm doing my best to avoid my child being hurt in the situation. But these are things that the child cannot control. And I, I just don't know if I agree with that. Like I'm saying that I disagree with reprimanding for behavior that should not be going on. No, I agree with you. If he served his punishment, which was a half day of ISS, he served that already.

So why are you double punishing him, but also further, if that was the case, we're celebrating, what was it? It was a rewards party for behavior, you said? Okay, so why can't Jackson celebrate other people's behavior when he already served his punishment? He can still celebrate other people's behavior. He's not celebrating his. He can celebrate theirs. Yeah. So I just, I can't, I would love to know for each teacher and like maybe it's

a school district thing. I don't know. Like what is the deciding factor? Like what makes you think this is a good idea? I don't know. It's, it's really, Kristen says sounds a lot like double jeopardy to me. Yeah, you can't. Yes, I agree. That's not even a thing in the United States. So since my kid goes to school in the United States, we're not doing that. Just I would love to know from a teacher that is in Jackson's grade, like what, what is the decision making process behind this? Is he in fifth grade or sixth grade? He's in fifth grade, but Will had a completely different perspective on this. And he said,

well, the punishment is just what the punishment is. So you just have to like serve the punishment and you're allowing him to evade serving punishments. And I'm like, no, actually you were out of town for 12 days. So you don't even know what the fuck's going on. I wasn't available to pick Jackson up at 11 45. So your dad went and picked him up. He was aware of why Jackson was getting picked up. I made it all abundantly clear. And your dad took him to shop at Dick's sporting goods and to bowl.

So don't get upset with me. I said the child needs to go home. Period." Kristen goes, and we don't participate in double jeopardy, Willard. I don't have a problem with Jackson getting to do stuff with his grandfather. He already served his punishment. That's my opinion on that. Will, if he has a problem with it, Willard, sly Willie, it sounds like you need to take that up with your dad because your dad took him to do those things. So sweet. So I do think that I do exhibit signs of a lawnmower parent, but I also exhibit the same

amount of signs of natural consequence parenting. I think that's fair. I mean, it's a happy medium, right? I mean, nobody wants to see their kids struggle. Nobody wants to see them fail. Nobody wants to see them for any of those things. But I think, I don't think that anyone wants to see their kids fail or struggle or face adversities or do any of that. But I do think some level of that is a part of life. And some level of that does build character and teaches them about, you know, my kids are constantly saying life is, they don't say life is not fair. My kids are constantly saying things like, it's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. Well, I teaching them that life is not fair. Right? Like things are not always going to

be 50 50 between you and your brother. Just because your brother gets something doesn't mean that you're going to get something like it just isn't fair period. And it's, it's very hard. And I don't love that, but like that is the harsh reality of life and I don't want to set them up for failure in that way. So, um, nobody, like I just say all that to say, nobody wants to see their kids struggle. Also speaking sort of in a similar situation slash topic, um, of kids and like all of these things. I found this article on parents.com where experts say the two weekend rule is fair, but it still has teens upset. And it's basically that parents are saying, you know, to stay home

on two weekends or for two days. There's like a two-weekend rule and a two-night rule. And the two-weekend rule is parents asking their teens to not go out with their friends for two weekends in a row or two nights in a row, not because they want to see their kids not have fun, but more so to balance friend, academics, sports commitments, all of those things and balance with family time and just like overall wellbeing. And I guess teens, according to a survey, TikTok, whatever, is that they're not, they're not happy about this. So she's, so another, so a creator on here on TikTok specifically has said no to going out two consecutive weekends in a

row and it makes her teens angry. When I asked my now eighth grader, her argument was you're only young once and you should be able to have as much fun as you want. And the mom said that she acknowledges the importance of a balanced life, but told me if her grades were suffering or she was getting run down, I have every right to step in and reassess her commitments. So I agree with that. And I do understand parents saying like, it's you know, you should stay in this weekend or you should I actually think that my kids don't go out enough to be honest, they don't have enough social time outside of internet. So Lincoln has a lot of basketball, soccer, sports commitments. Isaac's now in drama club. But I think outside of like, those things, I would like to see

them have more of a social life outside of their commitments, if that makes sense. See Jackson plays with his friends all the time. And as a divorced parent, it's hard because you're splitting weekends, right? If you're in 50 50 split, it's like, I have him too. He has him too. So he did have his first sleepover, which I thought I would never do this, but it was with a very trusted family. I'm friends with both parents. Jackson's been friends with a little boy for a very long time. It was after a basketball game and also Will had been out of town for like nine days at this point. So I felt like I wasn't really missing time because I had gained so much time.

But I do think there is very much an emphasis that should be placed on making your children well-rounded. Like they can spend time with their families, they can have time for their social life, and they can also have time for their sports and their academics. Jackson knows if we're hanging out with a friend on Friday, we're not hanging out with a friend on Saturday or Sunday because Sunday is for church, family lunch, come home, get prepared for the week. Saturday, normally we're playing basketball so he sees his friends anyway.

Friday can be a free for all. I don't care what you do. You can actually do that every Friday. I don't care. But we're not doing that for an entirety of a weekend. Like I can remember growing up when I would be at my mom's house on the 50% of the time on the weekends. Like my best friend growing up might be at my house all weekend long, like from the time school got out on Friday until Sunday.

Yep. Are you guys it is the start of the new year and I feel like from the time school got out on Friday until Sunday. Yep. All right, you guys, it is the start of the new year and I feel like February is the start of my new year and it's the perfect time to get organized, to set goals and to truly prioritize what matters the most. And for me, a top priority is my financial wellness this year and it just feels so important.

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And I think what you're describing makes sense to me because I look at, you know, I've talked about her on the podcast before and I wish her all the best, but unfortunately she is homeless and on heroin. And I just think about what it's sort of a combination of all these things, right? Because all the things that we've talked about on this episode is like, she came from a very, very well-to-do family, a very well-to-do family, and sort of never had, didn't, she was so smart. Everything was handed to her. She had, her family had money, so she didn't struggle in that way.

And so her dad was a dentist. She didn't struggle in a lot of ways, but we also did not have commitments. In the two years that I lived with them, there was no commitments. We didn't do sports. We didn't do drama club. We didn't do any sort of club after school. We literally did not have commitments outside of school and being out with our friends. And I do think that that lack of structure and that lack of commitment to anything led to,

ultimately, me getting pregnant at a really young age, not anything to do with her parents and what her family did for me, because that was a year, I didn't get pregnant until a year after. But for her, she's homeless right now, right? Like I do think there has to be a well balance. And if you do one thing wrong, which no pressure parents,

you know, it could be the demise of anybody, the downfall of anybody. I just feel like it is so important. You have struggled a little bit and are talked about your struggle a little bit with Isaac finding something that he loves. I think it's very important for your kids to tap into whether it be a hobby or whether it be a commitment to a sports team. Some kids just aren't sports kids and

that's right. But being committed to something outside of academic and outside of family, I feel like it allows them to be in a completely different environment with different friends with a common interest. When you don't have that, I feel like that's when kids get in fucking trouble. Yeah, no, I would. And again, I'm not blaming her parents. I'm just saying we didn't have those commitments. So we were not held to any accountability, any standards, any anything. It was a free for all the fucking time. And family time was not necessarily a priority. I wasn't spending time with my own family because I really didn't fucking time. And family time was not necessarily a priority. I wasn't

spending time with my own family because I really didn't have one. And she really, I mean, from what I remember, we didn't really have family time with her either. I remember going to one Easter holiday in two years with her extended family. So I don't know, like I'm trying to think of what that looks like where I try to prioritize family time pretty often. But I also, you know, the kids can come have their friends over, go over to their friend's house and you know, there has to be a balance. How do you feel about Sundays

and that being a dedicated family day? I know that y'all don't do church, which is totally fine, but like we do. And I personally feel like Sunday should be like your weekly reset, right? Like with your family, doing family things, kind of taking it easy, getting prepared for the following week. To me, Friday and Saturday can kind of somewhat be a free for all.

We're not having people over Friday and Saturday, but between those days, like you can have a play date. Yeah. I don't Sundays, you know, if Lincoln has say Lincoln has a sleep over after basketball or something over here, usually by like late morning by like noon, I would probably be starting to take everybody home just because we do need to like reset need to make sure Lincoln is sorry Lincoln I'm gonna say it he won't care does not want to put his clothes away he Lincoln and Isaac both do their own laundry does not want to put his clothes away well unfortunately because you go to your dad's the next day on a Monday you need to make sure that all your clothes

are done and so there are just certain things that need to be done your room needs to be put in order before you go to your dad's the next day it's a school night there are just certain things that need to be done. Your room needs to be put in order before you go to your dad's the next day. It's a school night. Um, there's just a lot of things that need to be done. And so I definitely, I like to take a more chill Sunday. I don't really even want to do anything on a Sunday, to be honest. I'm like, cook a good meal or go have a nice meal, like family dinner somewhere and then that's that should be a day of like laundry everything shower fucking nail clippings like right yeah no i agree with you i don't want to like i don't want to leave my i don't want to do makeup on a sunday i don't want to do any of that

oh i used to tell somebody that i was dating one time. He would regularly want to go to the park with like his kids and Jackson on Sundays. And I would always say like, I watched church on Sundays at 11. So I'm not available to do anything until one. And I also don't wear makeup on Sundays. So just know that I'm coming fresh faced. I am not if I have not left by one o'clock, I'm not leaving after one o'clock because everything closes early on Sunday anyway. Nothing closes early on Sunday really.

I feel like they do. That's like a thing from the past. It's like the blast from the past. Everything closed at six o'clock. It doesn't. Oh, here it does. What is it? Because y'all are so religious up there? But it's religious. We also don't have much. So what is here is closes up. It closes early. Okay, I have to tell you this crazy article that I saw on the Huffington Post. Truly, after reading this, this world's fucked up. Oh, okay. Welsh woman pleads guilty to sending fart videos to boyfriend's ex. It says a woman in Wales has pleaded guilty to wreaking havoc on her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend

by repeatedly sending her cyberfarts. What would possess, that's giving baby reindeer, truly. It says that she was recently fined and given a restraining order after she admitted to harassing her boyfriend's ex by sending a series of farting videos. She sent at least eight videos where she can be seen laughing while placing the camera on her bottom and then passing gas directly into the lens. That is baby reindeer status. I'm highly concerned and I'm not supportive of this. If you want to harass your boyfriend's ex, I think there are much more creative ways.

She can just block your number, number one. Also, you farting in a phone is just going to make me grossed out by you. I just feel like there are certain things that the law shouldn't be involved in. When I'm reading an article like this and it's like, and prosecutors say, prosecutors for what? The fact that you're wasting police resources in this way is actually concerning and truly you might need to take a grippy sock vacation. You are deranged for doing this in the first place, but also both of you are if you're

calling the cops about this. If someone sent me farting videos, I probably would laugh because I find farts to be funny because I'm immature. If someone did that, I would feel such a sense of like sickness in my heart for them that they were that malicious that they put a fucking camera at their butthole and farted and it were laughing in the video. Like I'm probably going to laugh, but I'm also like they need to go to Peachford. Why? What is Peachford? Mental facility. Where? In Atlanta.

Somebody else said Peachford to me and I was like, I don't know what's going on. It was Kristen. Kristen said, if I saw someone's asshole winking and my camera lens ever capital murder, like- I just have a question though. though. Where does this sound come from in a fart? Is it like energy or like... It's like... So where does this sound come from? Like the reverberations off your skin? Like what is... Kristin says she thinks it's from your intestines. No, the sound does not come from your intestines. The sound, what is the sound? It's like when

you snap your fingers. Where does the sound come when you snap your fingers? Where does the sound come when you fart? Like if you spread your butt cheeks so far, no, no, no. If you spread them far enough apart, will there be no sound? No, I feel like there will still be some sounds. Have you never had your butt cheeks spread apart like and your hoo-hahs just like spread Jesus and there's a queef? Can we end this podcast, please? Can we just please? I just am not mentally stable enough for this conversation.

No, but like, if you're like, if you're like that, you can still queef. I guess but like, where does this sound like nobody is gonna book me for barely famous ever again, they're gonna be like kill talks about fucking farts on her podcast. No, I just feel like it's okay. The gas is passing through either the vagene or the butthole. Okay. So when it reaches that area, I feel like the vagina or the butthole are contracting. Okay. That's what creates the noise. A fart sound is created

by the vibrations produced when gases is expelled from the anus causing the surrounding tissue to vibrate and generate sound waves with a specific sound depending on the size and shape of the anal opening, the pressure of the gas and the speed of its release. I can we please move on? But isn't that what I basically just said? So call me a scientist. Yeah, you did.

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So you've got to be in the bathroom taking a shit for a door to be locked. Yeah. That's what you're saying? Yes. Okay. Well, I have an open door policy at my house. So Jackson has to shit with the door open? Oh, no, no, no, no.

Like he has a shitter in his bedroom so he can go in there if he wants to close his bathroom door to take a private shit. Right. That's perfectly fine. But as far as like bedrooms or anything like that, nobody's being in any room in my house with a door closed. It's just completely unnecessary.

For what? Like what do you need to close the door for? I don't, I personally don't because there's so many of us I don't I allow them to close their bedroom doors everyone sleeps with their bedrooms door everyone sleeps with their bedroom door closed. Sometimes they close the room to the door to the playroom just because it's it's loud. So I don't necessarily mind the doors being closed. But in your situation like what's the purpose like What are they, for what? I just feel like, are you asking me why I have an open door policy?

No, I'm saying what is the need for it to be closed in your situation? It's not like he needs privacy from siblings. He doesn't need privacy from a sister. In one of my parenting plans, one of the things that another parent tried to bring up was privacy because there's so many siblings. My lawyer was like, he literally has his own room and his own bathroom. What do you mean there's no privacy over here? What? I didn't grow up with privacy. Oh, interesting. It's just like everybody's privacy is your privacy.

Okay. I don't know how I feel about that. I think that's a little bit different from like living room families. I think you can be a living room family and still have privacy in your own space. No, I mean, I think that that that can be true. I mean, my parents weren't like coming into my bedroom if I'm up there binge watching movies or lifetime or whatever. Like I feel like that's private time, but also the doors open. Fair.

We're not closing doors, but this article from Parents.com says, why privacy matters in a child's development? Offering children safe and age appropriate levels of privacy is vital for the development and their independence. It says, during a child's tween years, privacy becomes especially important for their development. As children grow towards the pre-adolescent stage, they often begin to exert independent in an independence way that pushes for privacy. It says they may not want their parents

to know every part of their lives anymore, and a little bit of independence and privacy can be a healthy part of normal separation and individualization process. Oh, okay. So again, more balance for families, parents, kids is like a little bit of privacy, a little bit of living room family, a little bit of all the things. I just, again, I feel like my house is being ran in some ways very similar to the way that I was raised. Like I'm not going to be in your room hovering over you like a helicopter parent trying to see every move that you're making and everything that you're doing. But

at the same time, we don't need to be closing doors. I think that's reasonable. You know, I do. I really do. And like I said, it's not like there's, it's just you and Jackson at your house. So it's not like he's needing to close his door to block out his siblings or, you know, things like that. And so I think that that's really reasonable for your house.

What do you feel about if your child is having a sleepover at your house? Do you allow them to close the door without them in there? No, no, me either. No. And, and matter of fact, if my kids are having a sleepover over your house, do you allow them to close the door without them in there? No. Me either. No. Matter of fact, if my kids are having a sleepover over here, they're sleeping in the playroom. We don't need to be getting comfortable in beds. You've got a sleeping bag. Not that it's going to stop anything, but I do think that it would make someone think twice than being upstairs in a closed room. Unfortunately, I'm more so speaking to boys than I am to

girls. So I think that girls are a little bit different, not saying that they're not capable of things. But boys, I think, are just a little bit more mature. They're a little bit more inappropriate, if I had to guess, like overall. And, you know, they have like, I would say when I say inappropriate, I mean more like inappropriate conversations. I don't know what you're learning about on the bus with older kids. I don't know what, like those types of things. So I'm going to say playroom because Elijah and I are up later. And so if we're downstairs and you're in the playroom, which is downstairs with the door open, you're not going to be having those conversations

while we're awake. You're not going to be doing those inappropriate things while we're awake. Do you know what I'm saying? No, I things like that. I 1000% agree. Actually, you just reminded me I wanted to order off of Wayfair. Have you seen the adult dog beds? Yes, I've, I've seen them more so associated with like reading corners and things like that. That would be cool to sleepovers though. That would be really cool. That would be really cool. You should get them. Could you imagine like other parents,

like these kids go home from a sleepover from our house and they're like, where did you sleep? Oh, a dog bed. Could you imagine? No, I couldn't. I couldn't. Like. Human dog bed?

Human dog bed for adult. We have the nugget couches, but there's just something about these that are like so much funnier and cuter. Yeah. I just love it. I love the whole idea. Yeah. I love it.

Okay. So we have a listener topic and then we've got to get to foul play. Okay. This woman says, what would you do if you found out that your dude had been talking to the, what would you do if you found out that your dude had been talking to, what would you do if you found out the dude that you have been talking to has a wife and two kids? He said many times he is single and wants a relationship.

He has been flirting and suggesting other things. Today, he said to me, if I am not interested in taking things further, we should stop talking. I said, okay, something inside me was like, you need to look this man up. I found him on Facebook and it says that he has a wife and two younger kids. I just confronted him about it and his response was,

he basically lives like he does not have a family. He said the reason that he pushed today for me to decide if I wanted to take things further was because he wanted to push me away a little bit. I'm annoyed and I truly feel like a total ass. Part of me wants to tell his wife, but also it's not my place. I don't know how to react to this at all. You guys already know how I feel about it's not your place and you shouldn't be telling the wife. Just don't even put yourself in that position. Second of all, it sounds to me like you should

not have like, this is the red flags that we're talking about. Like you, but I do understand the gray area of already being invested. And so that's gonna present some challenges, I think. But the fact that he was asking you is because he was looking to get out of his current situation to then move forward with you in an unhealthy way, but you get them, they leave you how you get them. So if he is doing this to his own family

that he is currently with, and you think that you're different and he's gonna come be with you and you choose him and he chooses you, If you think for one second that he's not going to leave you for another situation, you're probably most likely wrong. I just feel like if they can do to their wife and two children what they're doing, what makes you feel like they're not going to do you the same way or worse? I agree.

I wholeheartedly agree with you. And I just, I don't know. There's just something about that whole thing that is giving me the, like we can speak on it because we're not in the eye of the storm. She is probably going to hear us and be like, but he loves me or he does X, Y, and Z. And like both can be true. He could be doing and saying X, Y, and Z for you. But at the end of the day, it doesn't sound to me like this is a healthy foundation for you to move

forward in. And I just, I don't know, I don't love it. I also am just concerned. And maybe this is just me. I'm going to try to do everything as much as run a credit report on somebody. So I wouldn't even have gotten that far to that situation without looking the person up on all social media platforms Googling them probably looking at their LinkedIn like all of the things right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm writing background checks Elijah got a background check 1000% also I feel like I used to disagree with you on Telling the the spouse in this situation, the spouse.

I think at this phase of my life, like that's not, I'm not obligated to that person and the person that they're with is obligated to them. So if they chose to make the decision that they chose to make with me, unfortunately, I'm finding out about it and I'm removing myself from the situation. But I'm not involving myself in any turmoil that goes on with that family, because that's going to put me in a much stickier situation than anybody else. I get the argument where people are saying, oh, woman to woman or like, I'm a girl's girl, so I'm looking out for that woman. But at the end of the day, I, it's, it's so much deeper to that than that. And it's, for

me, what are, what would be my intentions? The only time that I have ever went to the X was when I was one immature to, I wasn't ready to leave him three. I was looking for basically some sort of revenge is like me finding out you cheated on me with X, Y, and Z and me telling the other woman, I ultimately did not gain anything from that. It did not better the situation. And a lot of times they often stayed together. So, and in fact, they did stay together. And so it's one of those things where it does not do anything for me. And she probably already knows to some degree, whether it's you or another girl that it previously happened with. At the end of the day, it is not about being a girl's girl and a woman's woman because if your intentions are pure and you're like, okay, I want to

tell her but it's not my place. You know your intentions are you want to look out for her, but it is not your place. Or you say, I don't want to tell her because it's not my place. At the end of the day, either way you flip the coin, your intentions are still pure and you know that you don't want to involve yourself in whatever that looks like for that woman. And it's unfortunate, but that is just for me, how I'm playing the cards. I would not be involved. And I learned that in therapy. And I think there's a reason why my therapist is saying, you know, has had said that to me at this stage of my life. I feel like I would be more inclined to try to have just a human to human conversation with the person that had put me in that situation to say, hey,

these are the things that you did wrong and I actually want nothing to do with you, but you need to go come clean to your wife. Please do not involve me in any of the situation, but like y'all got a lot of shit that you need to figure out. Do not involve me. Yeah, that's where I'm at. And it's again, knowing your own intentions is everything. So I'm not 1000% and on that note, we have foul play. So play everybody. Okay, everybody. Hi, ladies, I've written in a couple foul plays, but I think this one takes the cake. For a little background, I'm a mom to a 15 month old and I work as a registered nurse full time.

So date nights are few and far between for my husband and I. We left the baby at his grandma's for a sleepover the other night when things started to get hot and heavy during bedtime. We were really going at it and my husband started sucking on my nipples. Did I mention I'm also 15 months going strong still breastfeeding? He's loving what he's doing and he comes up for a kiss when all of a sudden I feel a waterfall of liquid fill my mouth and spit out the sides onto my neck and into my hair. I realized my husband gulped what seems like an entire lake of breast milk out of my boob

and thought it would be sexy to pour it into my mouth. Let me tell you it was not. Needless to say I ignored it but immediately brought it up after to tell him that was wild and to never do it again. Love the podcast on my commute to work every week and love both of you ladies. This is an example of your husband crossed a boundary you didn't love it and you waited until the moment was over to say something and we're very, I'm very proud of you.

How do we feel about being in a sexual situation, whether it be sex, somebody's going down on you, you're given a blowjob, like whatever it may be, and you don't like what's going on, are we like letting that situation ride for the duration of this encounter? Or are we saying something right in the moment? I'm letting it ride. Well, I think in this particular situation, she let it ride because it didn't, it wasn't, from what I gather from this story,

it wasn't a deal breaker. And it was something that she could express to him after the fact. I think if it's something that you it's a deal breaker, like this is I don't feel safe. I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel x, y, z. I think it's it's okay and important to speak up. I also know from experience, it's easier said than done. So depending on the relationship and the person slash people, I

would say it depends. Do you know that drinking breast milk for some men is like a kink? Yeah, and drinking semen for women is a kink as well. Oh no ma'am. No ma'am. No, I don't need that. I don't need anybody to tell me that it's good protein.

I don't need anybody to tell me that it's good protein. I don't need anybody to tell me that it's good for my body and whatever shape or form. No, sir, it's not. Unless this man is having the most pristine, immaculate, perfectly formulated diet and has absolutely no health ailments to the point that these cum shots would be absolutely a blessing. No, the answer is no, because I am not swallowing your semen that is filled with energy drinks and beer from the weekend and maybe some chicken wings. Like your there's nothing that is that semen filled with those in your chicken wing and energy drink filled semen is doing nothing for me. Like you bro have been out at a bar on a bender for like three days

and you think that I'm swallowing? No, I'm not. And don't give me a cum shot on my face either, because there's nothing that your nasty ass cum filled with those ingredients is going to do for my skin. Also the song where it says white girls fun because they all swallow liars. Where? Who? When? How? Why?

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