Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Kid Problems: Hygiene, Screen Time and Discipline

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Lindsie and Kail prepare for traveling and they hate it. Lindsie notices Jackson having a hard time on transition days and asks what she can do to make it less stressful, but realizes maybe it has something to do with her unique parenting relationship. This leads to the conversation of hygiene and discipline with their boys, and Kail explains why she will now be investing in outdoor playsets.Lindsie also wants to know what is up with this coochie smell issue? Kail shares her horrid postpartum problem, the Facebook group post is giving super sus vibes, and a hospital visit in Foul Play has us clutching our coochies for dear life Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthBettersleep: Improve your quality of life in as little as one week, download BetterSleep from your App Store or Google PlayBiOptimizers: Use code COFFEECONVOS for 10% off any order at magbreakthrough.com/coffeeconvosEarth Breeze: Visit EarthBreeze.com/coffeeconvos for 40% off your purchaseQuince: Discover the affordable luxury you deserve, go to Quince.com/coffee to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you? This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship family and life in the public eye I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's kale and Lindsay Hello everyone Why did it sound like that? I'm very tired and also dehydrated So we're just doing the best we can today

Very low energy at my house. Okay. I have to tell you what happened to me this morning What? Oh, I wake up and Jackson has the standardized Testing this week and I think that most elementary school kids are pretty much on like that same Track as far as like geographically here for sure I think Chloe had hers last week his is this week And so I was like we need to get in bed like good on Sunday and just you know, like really be prepared and whatever and so got in the bed early and I

Woke up semi it was middle of the night for me by the time I woke up it was like midnight but I woke up with bubble guts and like they could not stop like I would go back to bed and Bubble guts came back and I was like, okay If kill has given me the stomach flu all the way from Delaware It's gonna be a big fucking problem because I need to travel today And I clearly cannot drive four hours with the bubble guts Oh

Absolutely, not absolutely the fuck not. So what was it? So I text Kristen and I'm like are you Still awake and I get no response back because obviously she was not still awake and I just needed to let her know like immediately around 11 something that my stomach was like not feeling well so That's what was going on and I was like, okay. Well in the event that I'm gonna have this bubble gut situation then maybe I'll just like wake up super super early on Tuesday and drive Which will just be a catastrophe, but whatever. So woke up this morning feeling okay And I was like obviously the natural thing to do would be to get Jackson to school and go to a cardio class like this morning

If you're gonna shit yourself, it'll definitely be during a cardio class. So Go to this Pilates cardio class and just be bop across the street to the Target Go in because I'm like I need to grab some like little essentials for Traveling so I'm like I need an Alani and I need to obviously go to like the tree hut aisle and find me like a scrub that I want to take and I go and check out and I'm on the phone with my nanny and I get to the car and I realized the car is Fucking locked and I have no key in sight So your key was in the store

Okay, well, so I had convinced myself that somehow I managed to like I was talking to nanny when I got out of the car So I was like maybe somehow I managed to like Hit the lock by accident with the key in it, but like would it lock? I have no idea So I'm standing there just looking at the car as if it's just gonna miraculously Open and I'm like, okay, great. Like I'm trying not to stress out and this was not the day for this to happen of all days Staying there with just a bag of Alani and sugar scrub and I call Kristen and I'm like, hey, it's not good like Please don't make me laugh because my ribs hurt from throwing up you said just it's not good It's like she's probably like what's not good. Yeah, and I said, um

I've I've locked myself out of my car And she's like, well, where are we and I'm like we are at Target and I don't know what to do So of course Kristen being the superhero that she is she's like, okay Well, you can get the Lexus app and that should be able to help you unlock the car Which sure enough it did. Oh good and I peruse around the car No key to be found. So I try to retrace my steps and we tell our kids to do this all the time, right? Like if they forget something it's like retrace your steps, but you don't realize how hard it actually is to do that when you're an adult doing it so

I'm like going to the Alani aisle and then I'm going to like the tampon aisle and then The sugar scrub aisle and when I hit that sugar scrub aisle, the keys were laying right there where I had been opening all of tree huts Shit like smelling it So I was able I was able to come home and I was like I like this this was not part honestly part of the plan today Because I still have not packed and then this led me down a whole rabbit hole of having a conversation with myself Which I'm gonna have the same conversation with you right now Why did our parents not prepare us better for traveling when we were kids because as an adult There's just so much shit that has to be done before you travel that it's like not even worth it to me

My mom never traveled with me She probably just never thought of that, but yeah, no traveling is I also haven't packed and What a fucking nightmare I'm so glad that you got the app, but also that's why I tell my kids they need to keep track of all their shit I'm not gonna keep track of it for them but also I Think about that all the time because I love traveling so much, but it's not even the traveling that I like It's once I get to the destination the actual travel itself is a fucking nightmare. Oh, I absolutely hate every part of it

I'm trying to figure out how I was gonna get to the rental car Today and I don't know why like I didn't pre-plan this out. So I'm like, okay. I could Uber there I could call will Campbell Um, I'm doing neither of those things. So I'm definitely calling one of my friends. Um, I Last night I was having a little bit of anxiety about traveling because I was like I Even though I love to travel I've been having a lot of issues because you know last year was a struggle with me and all the baby daddies And so I realized that when I travel shit always pops off

Somebody always doesn't like what I'm doing So he always doesn't there's always an issue while I'm gone. And so that has truly like Stressed me out and really put a damper on work plans leisure plans like any travel type of things like just knowing that I won't be in the area to like fix it or And I you know, how do you know you're getting along Joe and I are getting along, you know, Chris and I depends on the day I'm just like what is gonna happen when I leave even though all the dads are gonna have their children What is gonna happen? I'm still gonna do something that somebody doesn't like well That's another part of the travel that when you're co-parenting and

Especially for you because you're co-parenting with multiples too many too many three too many specifically Um, it's a lot like trying to do that and trying to coordinate a schedule and I'm on a 50-50 custody share So, you know trying to get my days back because you want to be selfish and be like, okay Well, I'm losing two days for work So I need to gain those two days back somehow and then it throws you all off your schedules for like a couple of weeks Until you make those days back up. It's an absolute shit show and I'm like, okay. I need to water my ferns I need to take out my trash

I'm not trying to get cussed out by the HOA for leaving my trash out there for like two days too long But gonna take the risk because I'm not trying to come home and my garage garage smell like rank chicken Yeah, it's it's just a lot trying to think of outfits and I am the absolute worst packer that I have ever known in my entire life Is it you or is it me because I'm also a horrible packer, okay? So I think we're two different types of horrible packers you pack

Literally everything and no specific order and it just like all goes into a suitcase and it's a bomb when you open it up And like there might be winter stuff or there might be summer stuff or like there might be a bathing suit We don't know You never know what you're gonna get you don't Me I Tried to be so methodical that I think that that like that's where I go wrong Like I have all my packing cubes and like all the things and I'm like, okay panties and socks the panties that I don't wear but like might need them like need to go in this packing cube and

Then I have one for like athletic shorts in case I need athletic shorts. I think of all possible Scenarios and it's just like way too much overthinking, but I typically don't forget stuff Okay, I mean, I'm definitely getting better about the not forgetting stuff When I went to Thailand I packed exactly what I needed nothing more nothing less and it was literally everything that I could have It was perfect. So I'm hoping to do that for this I'm also hoping that you do that for this as well Can you tell me what your plans are for Nashville outside of plans with me or you can't tell me? Oh No, I'm doing the bunny podcast and she is Jelly Rolls wife

I'm excited. I know you're a fan of Jelly Roll. So I thought that was you know a fun little a fun little interview and I'm trying to think I Kristen. Am I doing anything else? Hopefully not shitting your pants That's what I'm hoping and puking your guts out. I'm I'm should be done shitting and puking I'm just a little like my stomach is just a little uneasy I think it's more or less like not having like solid food for the last three four days But I did have a question because I said to Kristen yesterday. I'm like, I can't chug water because it makes my stomach really upset mm-hmm Which is weird because I can eat chicken broth and soup and that's made with water

And I can drink the broth and it's fine, but I can't drink water because it's too heavy Um, I feel like Kristen's told us about this before and that like water will make you puke Yeah, and especially if you chug it, it'll just like make you barf, but you're so thirsty That's that was my biggest problem and like I haven't had I haven't had like diarrhea or thrown up In at least 24 hours, so I will be definitely good by the time we get together so that you're you're not I'm not contagious But I'm just so thirsty right now, and I'm still just sipping on Gatorade and Coke. Can you tell me? Parents who have kids that get sick and they either get sent home from school sick or They have a sickness and it like lasts maybe like two days or something

they run a fever and then Their fever goes away. Like how long are you allowing them to go? Like how many days are you keeping them out of school or like any type of like extracurricular activity or anything like that? I was always taught fever free for 24 hours and then I Did read somewhere that like if it's gastro. It's 48 hours after symptoms So I was like, okay, cool. I thought that was fine, but I I texted my aunt. She's a doctor and I I said to her. Hey, so since you're an aunt or since you're Since you're an aunt I said since you're a doctor how long after being after a child being sick can they go back to their sports?

And she said depends what they're sick with You'd be okay sending one free from illness for a day and well hydrated and I said stomach bug, you know, 48 hours You should be fine. I also asked the pediatrician Because I wasn't sure how that would work and they also said the same thing like 24 to 48 hours symptom and fever free Yeah, so I think that if they have no symptoms and also no fever in 24 hours that it's probably pretty safe That's the rule that we Because that's what the day cares and like schools like that's what they all say unless it's obviously COVID then you follow those protocols

okay, but then have you ever had a child go to school and tell their teacher that they threw up last night and Then you send your kid to school and then they immediately get sent home because that happened to will Wait, did he really throw up last night? No, so this was like a couple of weeks ago supposedly Jackson threw up and I think it probably because Jackson will like randomly throw up Where he's like snuck it does it to knock into like the pantry and probably like overindulged himself in chocolate Or you know, like something that he's not supposed to be doing and then all of a sudden he'll act like he has the stomach bug

He pukes and it's like a one-time puke and then it's nothing else like never had a fever nothing. So This is what happened Jackson went to school and you know how they have like the morning They call it morning meeting at his school But like where they sit like on the rug and stuff and they talk about yesterday or whatever Mm-hmm. So this must have been like on a Monday morning And they were talking about their weekends and Jackson decides to share with the entire class that he threw up last night. Oh good Okay, so immediately he got sent home and will was like I'm not with this shit like

No, like do not go to the school and tell everybody that you puked last night Like please do not do that Speaking of Jackson is really excited about us being on this work trip this week. Do you want me to tell you why yes? Because he gets to ride the bus every day. Oh Okay, I had a few things and he'll get to get together with Lincoln in June. Yes I'm so excited about that I have not told him because I want to make sure that like our plans are like solid because once yeah, totally once I tell him

About it or your kids like this like once you tell them something. It's like they just like keep asking. Yeah And it's like there's no point and so I agree and so many times that's happened like where you know Think things fall through especially because you know, my friends are all in different states and so like you Sterling Kristen You know when I was friends with Rachel things like that It was like things would fall through and so we would tell the kids and then they'd get all excited and then it wouldn't work out And so I don't do that anymore. I also haven't seen Lincoln because he's been on vacation with his dad So I don't plan on telling him. I'm just gonna take him You're like we're just going on a flight that we might miss or that we might make but like it'll be a good time and it'll be fine

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And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast turtle time. Let's make more iconic moments together Every Wednesday, it's turtle time Follow Ray and review now on Apple podcasts Spotify Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. I Do need to ask you a question Because I struggled a little bit with this this past week And I don't know if it is the season that's changing or if it's just like getting close to school being out that like transitions are becoming a little bit harder, but This last week our

Co-parenting transition was really really hard and I noticed things that I haven't been noticing in the past And I remember you saying something about like transition days and stuff. Do you remember that? Yeah? Yeah? What were the tips on that? Epsom salt bath I forget I need to look them back up because I definitely have it in my tab somewhere, but it was like Oh Shit, I wish I had them right like off the top of my head But I know like Epsom salt bath was one of them because I've been doing those for Creed but transition days are like super

Hard on the kids even though they might not even show it sometimes like they are actually really really hard on them So that does make sense. I'll find the tips and I'll send them to you Um, I would love that I think that from this point forward on our transition days that We're just gonna kind of like plan nothing because I think that might be where I've been going wrong because when I have him I want to do all the things. It's like I never want to be just like settled at home It's like once I get him. I want to go here because he loves it here I want to go there because he loves it there and I think sometimes it just gets like a little Chaotic and maybe I need to plan that transition day for us just to be

at the house maybe make like his favorite dinner and Just kind of like lay low because after the next day he was okay But it took like 24 hours to like re-transition, which is just something that we have not experienced. I Think that's a really good idea. I'm doing like his favorite dinner or whatever meal like favorite meal Just like kind of lay low that day I'll help him adjust to going back to your house or you know, we'll help him go adjust over there I don't I don't know why this is sticking out in my head But when I was reading about it, it was saying not to make your kids pack a bag

And I don't know if that goes towards like because of anxieties or if it makes I don't know why that is sticking out in my brain right now but I Definitely think that's like a good idea like I know you want to do all the things but also just Keeping in mind that you know, he is still really young and so it can still be really difficult You guys will talk you'll you'll get this figured out It just it sucks because even when you think things are going well for a really like significant amount of time You can still kind of not take steps backwards, but there can still be hard transition days Well, I think also because will and I have such a unique

Co-parenting relationship like I feel like we get along way better than most co-parents do Mm-hmm that it can be a little bit confusing to a child that is witnessing that Because I do think that Jackson views it as oh if you can get along as well Why can't you just be like a mom and a dad that lives in the same house? Right if you get along this well, why can't you guys be together? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can I can see that wills welcome over here or I'm welcome over there When we exchange or like exchange the dogs, it's very cordial. It's very friendly So I think sometimes maybe he gets in his head thinking oh

Well, you know like maybe my parents will get back together Because they're getting along so well and it's just like a I I couldn't I never really thought that about my parents. So like I can't Imagine what that would feel like because I never wanted my parents to be together Right. I definitely think that Lincoln went through a period like that because there was a there was a small period of time where Lincoln was asking questions and You know towards I would say like last year He he did it like verbally expressed like he hates when me and me and his dad fight and even though he doesn't see us fight

He can feel it and he told me he's like I hate it And then he was asking me questions about like when did you guys get married? When did you guys get divorced? Why did you guys get divorced? Mm-hmm? And so, you know, and I think that was something that we talked about like months ago And I said I don't know what this will do to the kid in the future like to Lincoln specifically You know him seeing us get along so well. Why aren't we getting why aren't we together? But I also think as adults like when they when they're adults Jackson and Lincoln included They'll look back and just be like, oh, that's what that was. You know what I mean?

Like hindsight is always 2020 kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense I actually had both of the dogs at my house this weekend because I did like pet portraits with Jackson and Della and Georgia and so I think that that might have had a little bit to do with some of it, too What you know having both of the dogs here where they're not normally both here. They're normally Georgia is the dog that goes between Delas always at Will's house So I think there was just like a couple of outliers, you know that we're in there that normally are and then also Preparing for me to be out of town, which I'm normally not, you know, that's hard on kids. Oh, yeah Oh, Lincoln not Lincoln

Luxe has a hard time with me even just leaving the freaking house. So You know throw throw a work trip in there or just like a personal leisure trip in there and kids don't even know what to do Um, I have another question because this was really really hard this past week Do any of your kids have Problems with like hygiene? Yeah I have to get on to my kids about hygiene all the time and I literally said to Isaac when I dropped him off at school this morning I said While you're at your dad's this week, you need to stay on top of your showering your

Nails and your ears. I said, I'm tired of telling you I said and I know like this is no shade to Joe But like he doesn't stay on top of it because I asked Isaac I said does your dad remind you all the time and he said no Um, and so I'm like you have to stay on top of it and stop waiting for your dad to say something to you You're 13 now. Like this is a big deal and I am constantly Last night when I talked to him in the bed, I said you have an orthodontist appointment tomorrow Please make sure you brush your teeth tonight and you brush them in the morning. Like I don't know if it's a boy thing

I don't know if it's a kid thing. I don't know what it is But I'm just it's it scares me because I feel like I don't know if they're gonna do this as adults That's my biggest fear. I'm like, okay Will was having a conversation with Jackson and I was a present party of this conversation and it was an unpleasant one and it was Basically just about like hygiene and how you know, essentially you're over halfway to the point of you're gonna be on your own like you're 10 years old and Why are we having these conversations that

I don't feel like our parents had with us, but like maybe They did I've always just been a super clean person. So I And and my parents are also very super clean. So that would have never even been a thought I don't think to like get in the shower and Be in there and not use soap like that was never A thing that probably crossed my mind But I think that kids are So

Distracted these days and also they're I feel like they're more bamboozling like I don't know why I feel like they're bigger bamboozlers than us I don't know. You were a pretty big bamboozler though. Um I just couldn't imagine taking the time to take my clothes off to get in the shower to wash My hair in my body And not do it But I think that kids are so So

I've been on this kick with Jackson about hey, you know, like it's normal like you should be Clipping your nails and I will clip them for you and your dad will clip them for you But like it needs to be done every week like your toenails like I don't want to see Dirt and grime like underneath your toenails. That's disgusting and also Um, I don't want to see Dirt and grime like underneath your toenails. That's disgusting and also Um, I don't want to see possible dandruff going on because you haven't washed your hair in three weeks or you know I don't know

It's just aggravating and so I told him I'm like, I'm tired of having these same conversations over and over again So because it's such an issue Um, if you can't figure out how to wash your hair and be mindful of doing that when you get in the shower And the water is actually hitting your friggin scalp Then We're gonna cut it off. So Will's like we're gonna buzz cut your hair if you Can't learn to like properly wash your hair No, I told Isaac the same thing. I didn't say the buzz cut thing, but I was like

You're 13 now like what are you gonna do as an adult? What are you going to and I'm gonna take it even a step further yesterday because I've had the stomach bug Um, you know Isaac was helping around the house a little bit more like typically he has like his set chores or whatever And I'm like, you know, you need to do the litter boxes and stuff like that I said and I need you to typically Lincoln and him would take turns with like dishwasher trash or whatever I said, I need you to unload the dishwasher and load the dishwasher I said, but you have to do that before you do the cat litter because after you do the cat litter You'll have to take a shower. I said, I don't want you touching clean or dirty dishes after touching the cat litter

Yeah, that's disgusting and he was saying how he can't Um, load the dishwasher because it's disgusting and I said, well, what are you going to do when you get your own apartment When you get your own apartment and your dishes are stacked up and you don't want to clean them or put them in the dishwasher then what He's like, well, then I'll just buy new ones and I'm like, no, you can do this and he's like, but I can't and I'm like weaponizing Competence is so real and it's so real and again, I don't know if it's boys. I don't know if it's all kids But it is so frustrating because I just don't know if I'm getting through to him really because the other ones are still young Um, Lincoln's to a point now where, you know, I'm on top of him, but you know his he doesn't really give me a hard time like Isaac does So have you guys ever wondered why laundry detergent comes in a massive plastic jug because I don't want it in my laundry room

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So tried really really hard and I stay on him on the same things that will stays on him about and finally I was just like no like I'm going to take you and make a believer out of you After your Friday church at school I pick you up you have a hair appointment and you're probably not going to like what's going to happen but it's happening So take him to this hair appointment and the poor lady she's like you're doing me dirty today She's like you're doing me real dirty and I'm like no no no no he's done himself dirty and I'm doing no one dirty so he just needs to get in the chair and he's suck it up So if I were to kill when I tell you you would have thought that someone killed one of our animals like his eyes it was like crocodile tears his lips were like quivering It wasn't even cut that short but it was like enough of a drastic change to make a believer out of him do you know that that child has asked me every day because I told him I'm like you only use shampoo two days a week like the other days I don't want your hair drying out he's asked me every day since that he was like mom which one do I do shampoo or conditioner which one See and that's the thing it's like why this is like yelling at your kids right like please know that before I start yelling at my kids I have asked them several times nicely right

It's the same thing for this it's like I mean I personally feel like you're the consequence fit the crime right like you can't take care of your hair unfortunately So now I have to help you understand that now we have to keep your hair short Oh yeah You know I completely think that that is an appropriate situation until you learn how to wash your hair and take care of your hair properly you know this is what we have to do it sucks but it is what it is But it's the same thing with like yelling at them why is it taking me screaming at you to finally understand like what is going on and so now he wants to take care of his hair but once he grows his hair back will he keep up with it And see I try not to go the screaming route because I used to tell my dad growing up I was like if you think that I'm hearing you because you're talking louder like I'm not It's not At the point that you start hollering and carrying it on because I didn't listen to you the first however many times I definitely tuned you out on this one because now I'm fucking terrified and I don't know what's about to happen but I certainly know it's not going to be good

So I try to just maintain some level of cool and I was as cool as a cucumber honey I went and got me a kale salad some chicken from Chick-fil-A lemonade I sat up in that hair salon and I watched him getting his hair cut I ate my lunch I was calm collected And I was like you know what when you learn to properly take care of your hair and do the self-care things that we have asked you to do as parents that we've asked you for years like this has been like a years in the making situation coming so don't be upset now This is the consequence for you doing what you were doing but then I saw this tick tock and I want to play it because it is about punishment versus discipline and it's very interesting Have you seen this No you haven't I don't think I don't know I don't think so Okay well I want to play it because I think that a lot of people will benefit from listening to this Okay

So I said God okay how are we going to break this down? He said Michael if my people are going to get stronger they're going to have to stop acting They're going to actually have to be in it when somebody is something there's an authenticity that comes along with it It's like when somebody just is what they are they don't got to act like they is what they are I think that's a really really really good message to share because it is so fucking hard to When you're a young parent when you're a new parent when you're a parent who's trying to break cycles and you know reoccurring trauma or generational traumas You're not thinking of it that way and sometimes your emotions do get in the way but when you kind of have your awakening and you have your You're opening your eyes and you're seeing the difference between consequences and punishment I think so much can change and you're right

Like that is that's such a powerful message I so agree with that and also we have to be their parents first we can't be their friends first right And I feel like punishment is like a quick this is what you get kind of thing where like a consequence is like this is going to teach you an actual lesson Like a lifelong lesson and it's very hard to when you're in the moments of parenting and you're so frustrated to not allow emotions to overtake you I do feel like Jackson's haircut kind of fell more into the discipline because I didn't let my emotions overtake me I was like you know what this is just a consequence of the actions because until you until there is something that is impactful You're not going to learn from anything that I say so I could sit here and I could yell until I'm purple or blue in the face I could do all of this I could have all of these big emotions But that is something that I'm also teaching Jackson that like you need to regulate your emotions and there's things that can upset you but you can't allow your emotions to overtake you So Will was having a conversation with him about you know parents and friendship and how it's really really hard when you want your kids to know you can be their parent and their friend But there's a time and a place for it right right you have to be when you're raising children you have to be their parent first and their friend second and there will be a time and a place later in life when you're no longer having to parent every single day

Not that parenting really ever goes away but you know what I'm saying like your child rearing days then you can become their friend and that relationship changes and evolves but me trying to be Jackson's friend is like not the move right now I agree with you wholeheartedly and I think that's the same goes for myself and for Isaac you know like I want the best for him and I want him to be the best you know contributing citizen he can be and you know I don't know I think if we're their friends first they don't take us seriously we don't know you know how that I just don't I don't know it's a scary and I get it I get the parents that want to be their friends and they want that but that's not that's not the job that's not the role outside of that this was in the Facebook group and I know that you and I've kind of talked about this privately maybe we've talked about it publicly hell who knows at this point but it says my husband is always asking to do a quickie when the kids are distracted by the TV or playing together in another room I don't want to do it when I hear the kids playing I don't want them coming into the room I don't want to be panic if one of them is crying plus I have 1000 thoughts going on in my head and I can't get in the mood am I weird when I can't get turned on when the kids are awake or is he the weird one that keeps asking and I feel like I'm the person writing this I know that you said that like you're okay with like trying to do quickies and stuff that's just like not a thing for me because I thoroughly want to enjoy what I'm doing and if I'm taking my pants off it needs to be for enjoyment and not fear No I definitely think that like a quickie is not for my benefit it would be for partners benefit because I'm not going to get off that quick nor am I going to get off with the kids outside the room like that Screaming and like carrying on or like watching TV and like you hear the cartoons and the bullshit going on in the background

And it's like no like you need to get your face up here and not down there and like no like this is not this is not not a normal thing I bet you a lot of people do do this though Yeah I would imagine because they have to get it where they can and I'm totally for that but just like it's not for me Kale I feel like that you have changed your perspective on this like I feel like at one point this was for you You know I like quickies I just like I'm not going to get off it's for the other person You're just going to get him off or her off Yeah yeah because for me it's just I'm not going to be able to relax enough but yeah I'll do them get it where you can kind of thing I'm not doing them because I'm not trying to get caught or like traumatize anybody you know

Right yeah no I can understand that as well And the thoughts of my child being in a traumatic experience because of my inability to be able to like keep my pants on Is just like not something that I'm signing up for at this point in my life Right right right right Another thing from the Facebook group and I need a follow up on this from you with your kids because we talked about it a couple weeks ago It says mama's you limit screen time for your kids not necessarily TVs or movies but video games, Roblox, YouTube, etc Absolutely Yeah I think we talked about this not that long ago but I took the kids phones from them and I don't they don't have iPads or tablets or anything they haven't for a long time

I saw this tiktok a while back that I mentioned in either last week's episode or the week before that where it was like you have to force your kids to have a real fucking childhood And if my kids want to watch something on YouTube they have to ask me for my phone and they typically don't like I just I just don't get my phone like that to my kids I'm not into before I'll be honest I will be fucking honest I was a silky mom and I did not care about screen time until I started to see Wait what's a silky mom? The opposite of a crunchy mom and then there's like a scrunchy mom which is like semi-crunchy a little bit of silky Which one am I? I would say you're like a scrunchy mom Yeah I don't feel like I'm as crunchy as like what I used to be I've definitely moved towards the scrunchy era

Yeah same I think I did too and I didn't really realize the effects of screen time but I noticed that when Creed got he doesn't have a tablet or an iPad anymore His behavior changed so much and he doesn't really care about like the iPads and things like if we if me or not give him our phones He'll watch them but like he's not constantly asking for an iPad or like freaking out over a tablet or like having meltdowns over it So it's it's actually been really nice in that way and it is hell for the first couple days because they want it But once you break them of that cycle it's it's it makes a world of a difference and same for Isaac like I'm fine with him getting on you know playing fortnight with Lincoln but once you know they're off the game they're off the game They have to go outside they have to do something they have to find something to do in the house or outside the house I absolutely love no screen time but also I think it's okay if it is monitored properly and like this weekend for example

Jackson did not have his phone did not have any video games but he does have an Amazon tablet that is set in kids mode And he was not allowed to watch any videos or anything like that but there was one show that he likes to watch I think it's called like Oddballs or something And then an educational game some of you guys might know it it's called Prodigy It's like a math game and they play it at school so it's an app that they do use at school so I felt comfortable with allowing him to use it at home If he's asking me math questions I feel like okay with that if that's what he's doing on it and I'll let him have it like if we're in the car You know going to and from a place he can watch that little oddball show or whatever but outside of that no screen time right now I do think that it gets at a point in the year I do think that we use the tablet more in the winter time But once the weather starts changing and it's nice outside I just can't get behind allowing kids to sit in front of a TV

Or behind a tablet or on a phone it's like find something to do outside that you're going to be able to get fresh air up your nostrils And get some sunshine and just be in the elements there's something to be said about that Coffee Combo's podcast is brought to you by Better Sleep We all want to feel ready to conquer the day when we wake up and when you've got a lot on your mind it's tough to get the rest that you need I am the perfect person to describe that for you it's a struggle and you just don't feel great So with the Better Sleep app you can personalize a sleep experience that calms your racing thoughts and boosts concentration In fact, Business Insider says Better Sleep is one of the most positively reviewed apps in the history of the Apple Store I think that with the Better Sleep app you can do different sounds like green noise, wind and trees, brain waves, thunder

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I've not been able to keep up with my self-care routine as much as I'd like to So not many meditations this week, no workouts, no breaks to have proper meals, and decent amount of coffee on top of that And I have been really stressed out for days at a time and I started taking magnesium breakthrough which is not only helping with my stress I am sleeping 100 times better. If you guys have not heard of magnesium breakthrough, it is absolutely amazing I actually got by optimizers not too long ago and I'm super excited because I was already taking a magnesium supplement but I was like, let me do something better Let me take magnesium breakthrough. It's really helping with my stress and I'm sleeping better So I just want to say that magnesium is actually responsible for over 300 body reactions and magnesium breakthrough is the only magnesium formula that delivers all the 7 different forms of magnesium each with its unique benefit So this is awesome. You guys need to try it. And in addition, you can get the discount by using coffee combos

There's always an amazing gift with a purchase and that's why we love shopping at by optimizers Go now to magbreakthrough.com slash coffee combos to get your magnesium breakthrough and find out this month's gifts with purchase I literally so the stomach bug ran through my kids first. My kids were were I was taking care of them. It was fine. I was healed and then I got it right once I got it and my kids were better They were kind of stuck with me in the house because what else are they going to do? I can't take them anywhere because I'm sick. So I take I literally texted Kristen I don't know if it was Saturday or Sunday, but I said I have to get my kids a play set. That's one thing that my kids I mean Isaac up until 10 years old was playing on our play set like I know some people have play sets outside and their kids like get over them They're bored. They stop being used same for like trampolines and stuff, but I'm very lucky in that my kids when I have a play set they will use it until it falls the fuck apart So I texted Kristen and I said I have to get them a play set they can like I'm in here sick as hell, but they need to be outside

They need to be doing something and you know the inside stuff is only good for so like I get it they they want stuff to do they need to be outside in the sunshine and fresh air I totally agree and we live in an area where they can go outside and I don't necessarily have to watch them You know obviously around the pool I do but I don't have to like I can literally sit on the couch and watch them from the window You know what I mean while I'm puking my brains out yeah so I texted Kristen and I was like I can't hold off any longer because I was going to see if we can like customize a play set or something Then I was like no I'll just get one from Lowe's call it a day but yeah they need to be outside they need to be doing something and I was an only child and I figured it the fuck out And I didn't have tablets or you know I told you guys the story about never having a game boy and so I figured it out and I feel like there was I mean I caught a bird outside one time There was things that I did you know Listen I feel like even though we had toys that were probably meant to play with inside you were not playing with them inside like you're gonna if you want to play with it you're going to take it outside

Because my parents don't want to see or smell us and if they can smell us we're too close so we need to get outside We rode bikes we rode scooters that what were those like little peg it's like a what do you call it like people knock their vaginas on them Pogo sticks yeah Pogo sticks Skip it Skip it yeah we had all of that stuff and we played outside until it was time for dinner And then you came in and you had dinner and you took a shower and then you got your ass in bed Yep sounds about right I don't know if I showered before but you know my babysitter would call me in and I'd go in I think I also swim in like lakes and ponds and stuff like weird places I probably shouldn't have but we figured it out

I do want to know from parents who are listening to this do you make your kids shower before bed every night and do they shower before school No my kids shower before my kids have to shower before bed every single night but I don't I have too many kids to shower in the morning so that could never happen Yeah see I feel like it's an only child thing that I can get him up he can take a shower we're not sharing showers or anything like that So it's just it's easy and I feel like it it starts his day off I feel better whenever I wake up and I take a shower and I get going about my day Okay wow like I actually have it all together and it feels really good speaking of showering though can you tell me about this thing about your vagina and like what it looks like down there What? Hold on a minute is what? It's from the Facebook group Oh

It's about your vagina like what it looks like down there People say don't worry about what your cat looks like down there but what it smells and tastes like what does everyone do to make sure it's a okay down there I get super self-conscious about any sort of abnormal smell I also do and I thought I was the only person that was constantly worried about like pH you know you want to make sure that you always like don't have an odor I feel like like men don't have they don't worry about that stuff and women do Yeah I agree with this but my What do you mean men don't have to worry about it Men don't give a fuck if they're

You never smelled like a bad dick I mean yeah but like they don't all they have to do is wash it off like girls have like they could have pH they could have yeast they could have you know all kinds of things that fucking sucks I don't know if you remember this because Jackson's 10 right There is a period after birth Where you're still healing maybe still bleeding but maybe on the end the ending of bleeding after postpartum bleeding Where it literally smells like a dead body down there Wait what Let me google it

Who told you about this No this is a thing because it happened to me after I had Creed and I was absolutely fucking mortified And I was freaking out hold on a second let me google it smell What would I even google like After birth odor After birth Vagina odor After birth vaginal it's there's like a name for it

Is it vaginosis No it's not an infection it's no sort of it's called Lachia or Lochia L-O-C-H-I-E and it's the vaginal discharge that you have after giving birth it contains a mixture of blood mucus and uterine tissue It has a stale musty odor like menstrual period discharge and it can last several weeks This happened to me after Creed And when I tell you that I cried and cried I was like is this what I'm gonna have to live with for the rest of my life like I was mortified And I also had like postpartum rage and so I was like so upset I was so pissed off Yeah but this is like a thing and like men don't have to deal with this if there are dick stings they literally just have to wash it

Ew like But like a woman could wash their cat and it could have yeast and still stink or she could wash it and it's a BV or she could wash it and the pH is off or she could wash it And she has this like I feel so bad for women First of all if I smelled someone that had like stinky dick I would just like be pissed off and would never probably touch it again Just like shower yourself and be aware but you are right women do have way more options for smell down there so I can agree with that It's been some time since I had Jackson but I don't remember any of that or like having an odor or that type of like discharge or anything But also I will say too when I went to the bathroom I use that peri bottle for so long that like maybe I had it and I just like was washing it away and didn't know Because like I would be like peeing like stream coming down and like squirting that thing up there because like I was trying to get like everything out

Okay that makes sense so that's probably So like maybe that's why Yeah I don't really remember it with my other kids but Creed specifically I remember because I just going through it after his birth About smell and taste is there anything any tips or tricks that you have that you would like to give the kitty gang I don't have any tips or tricks because I haven't really had an issue I have a tip What's a tip Okay so do you use vaginal suppositories

I haven't should I I just want to know how many people use them Actually I'm not going to say who told me but because it's kind of funny and she was so open about it and I really respected her for it I love you shout out you know who I'm talking to She was like get I think she boric acid suppositories Okay yeah so there's two different kinds and it's from this one brand that I use it's called Love Wellness And I think it might be like low Bosworth or something like that it might be her brand but they carried it target you can also get it on like Amazon or whatever And I think it only used to be available on Amazon

And one of my girlfriends told me about it and they have like the wipes the pH balancing wipes they have the killer it's the boric acid suppositories But then they also have this other one it's in a green package and it is for like flora your flora And it's like for good bacteria and it's a vaginal suppository you can get you can get them like separate or you can buy them together And those things are great like sometimes I mean I don't even know that I need to be using them but we know that like I'm extra about everything So sometimes I don't know I might just like take a shower and just like put one in in case Okay okay I I've never used them I think I bought them one time because I was going to try the boric acid ones and then I never ended up using them I used to have like chronic issues with baby because of my partner always cheating on me and not being wearing protection which I think I've talked about before And I always had to go on this fucking thing called Metro like an antibiotic before I knew hold on it's called met let me Google it

I know Metro Metro need a soul Metro need a soul and that is a it treats like pH imbalance and BV I do think though people who struggle with pH and BV that like if it's not if you don't get it under control I think that it's really hard to like get out of the cycle of having it Oh yeah well once I left my partner I never had a problem again so that's what my experience was I actually never like have anything like that or had never had anything like that or like UTIs or like anything like that And that's what like tipped me off to the cheating with suburban dad Oh that's the worst that's how you know that's one of the I mean that's one of the reasons you figure you can figure it out because you're like wait a minute I know how clean I am I know I have OCD about my body and what I smell like and my hygiene and things like that but when you when something is off for the first time in a long time and the only new thing in your life as a partner you got to look at the partner Well and you know probably a lot of gaslighting that was going on but to tell me that you know one person has a more acidic pH and that's why it's maybe like throwing off my pH it's like no you're just dipping your dick

in places it shouldn't be yeah and a lot of places that it shouldn't be so it really has nothing to do with it actually does have a lot to do with your pH which is now thrown off mine so you can fuck yourself Shut the fuck up And to tell me that my doctor doesn't know what she's talking about it's like okay well I'm glad that I've trusted this person with my vagina since I knew I had one so I'm gonna probably trust her more than I'm gonna trust you and I can't trust you as far as I could throw you and that damn sure ain't far so yeah just don't be dealing with crusty men that want to throw off your pH honestly Honestly Alright shopping for clothes is a compromise sometimes and it feels like sometimes you have to choose between saving up and paying these crazy prices or having something that's like fast cheap fashion and that is why we have found something that you guys are going to love it is called quints and my pajamas that I was wearing yesterday were from quints my slippers that I got that I've been strolling around in taking those things for a ride quints absolutely you do I have the gray ones I got the they're like camel

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so the messages start okay first I want to start by telling you I love your sister to death and I am so attracted to her physically but she does not and cannot believe that because she doesn't like herself I try to tell her all the time but it doesn't work you know how you know her jealousy and attitude at times can be a lot and that is the only thing that makes me not attracted to her and makes it hard for me to be able to feel like I can tell her anything or be honest about anything because she judges right away and gets pissed at the little things even if I'm trying to tell her something simple I can't really go out with her because she gets jealous mean to any girl that is in the same building even if I don't notice them or have anything to do with them thought of you as someone who I could talk to and relate to because you have been through a lot of things that I have and I'm more like you then your sister when it comes to outlook on life and being able to have real fun so I've always thought of you as my little sister that I would be there for whenever you needed to talk about stuff that parents, grandparents or I'm going to leave the person's name out wouldn't understand and I feel like we did that whenever I saw you and you were younger and we had some great conversations and so here comes the crazy part of where you can tell me to fuck off he tells her that he wants to make her scream and feel so good that her legs shake I can't tell you how hard this is to admit so I finally had to build up the courage to tell you this to see if you understand I haven't had good sex in years and when I do have sex with her I fake it or just think something else for to keep her from getting mad

I wanted to find out it and would want to see what happens if you give me a chance to show you how good I can make you feel and make you scream like you never knew you could until your legs shake and you get so wet that you forget about everything else I want to lick you all over your body and then the messages are cut off so there's no way that no okay so here's I have some problems because in the message it says he now says he wants to be with me so what was his story before now was he hacked before like he was he saying he was hacked prior to this because this doesn't make sense secondly I'm just going to tell you ladies including Cale and Lowry if any man tells you after my last bamboozling if any man tells you that they have been hacked because of messages that are going on like this whether it be on an iPhone a tablet Facebook Messenger Instagram Messenger you're delusional like he was not hacked I agree this was legitimate and also I'm an investigator okay so I can know someone's writing style so I just want to know if this woman like was reading this and felt like this was something that he was saying you know what I'm saying like when you know someone like that and you read something that they wrote it's like okay I know that that was them right yep no I leave him because he now says so it took you catching him in a situation like this for him to now say he wants to be with you that's number one number two

read the fucking room was it him or was it not are these the way that he is are these messages something that you could picture him saying because I know how Elijah text I know how Chris text I know how hobby text I know how Joe text I know how they text you know what I mean like I know what they would say I know their tone of voice I know mannerisms I know all of that and I'm sure they could say the same for me um I also want to just say that being in the process of getting a divorce is a great thing for you because if he could do this with your sister he could do it with absolutely anybody I don't think anything would be off limits and any man that is sending messages to someone sister they're with one of the sisters and they're sending the messages to the other sister about making her leg shake and how he wants to lick her all over like no absolutely that's an unforgivable I'm sorry that's just like unforgivable when suburban dad cheated on me and the ex-girlfriend sent me like all of the messages and stuff I knew it was him talking because I'm like it was almost like when I was reading it I could hear his voice saying it or typing it does that make sense oh yeah 100% it's like one of my exes was like oh um no that was he came up with some like crazy elaborate story about like this girl told him he wasn't she was in love with him but he didn't do nothing about it and the sister was calling him and I'm like no I literally saw the messages that was you like you did that like I didn't even have to be there like we're you lost this trial like you're guilty immediately like I don't need a jury to get big to you like you are guilty um I also think it's very hard whenever you have kids involved and something like this happens because even without a child involved I think that when you have been cheated on and you're not fully

emotionally out of it um if you're not careful you find yourself justifying actions of others that you know is not even a logical justification but because you're not emotionally out of it enough you start justifying things in ways that don't even make sense so I know for me and something that I've worked through in therapy is believe it the first time when you see it agreed because you don't need to justify actions of others when they're grown adults and they chose those actions you need to look at it black and white for what it's worth and not try to read too much into either side of it right I agree with that um when you do have a child involved I feel like it is a lot harder to make the choice to leave even though things can be so toxic and you know that it isn't your best interest to leave I can confidently say that if you're unhappy in something and you have a child I am a big advocate for trying to keep a marriage together we know that I've talked about this before but at the point that it is to your detriment the other persons then it's also a detriment to your child so you have to pick up the pieces realize that this is not the way that you wanted the cookie to crumble but unfortunately it's what it is and also any person that is with you has a child with you and would send messages like this to your fucking sister Earl had to die oh my god is that a song I feel like I remember that I'm not gonna listen to that when I leave this office and go to Walmart I'm gonna listen to Earl had to die can you take a video of us of you listening it for us

yeah I will I mean yeah just do not judge my presence today I'm literally coming out of a stomach bug so we're just not I'm thankfully I'm going to Walmart and not Tarjay because I look the part for Walmart today goodbye okay this is some some wisdom that I want to leave everyone with before we get into the foul play because we know that like brain cells are lost once we get that far it's a quote that I saw it says nothing is weird about me if you rub me the wrong way I'm either doing two things speaking on it and or removing myself and revoking your access to me I don't move weird it's very black and white with me I'm in great areas and that is on healing because I am that exact same way I'm I try to be better about speaking on things and like letting stuff ride and just knowing you know a situation for what it's worth and like removing myself and revoking access but sometimes I might be called off character a little bit and Jesus and in the situation so I need to speak on it sometimes but I thought that was very wise I feel like that really really I can relate to that as well so I'm trying to do better on speaking is not every single thing that my baby daddy's and I fight about needs to be speak spoken on and also just every time someone pisses me off I don't need to speak on it just remove my access remove people's access to me absolutely power in the cause okay foul play let's do it here is a good old foul play when I was in college I was just starting to talk to this guy on the basketball team meanwhile I had lingering feelings for a guy on the baseball team but I wanted to focus on the basketball guy those are two different kind of men the guy on the baseball team had a barbecue and I of course attended the barbecue one thing led to another and I ended up in his bedroom silly drunk and remember nothing I woke up and immediately had basketball guy come pick me up

still drunk my friend tried to talk me out of it but I didn't listen I was wasted off my ass when we got back to his dorm and he noticed all the hickeys on my neck he let me stay the night anyway and got me a spray and made sure I was safe to top it off that night I was so drunk I peed in his dorm bed freaking embarrassing he took me home in the morning and neither of us said a word we ended up working it out and dated for the next four years PS we aren't together anymore he moved back to his home state Texas and I stayed in Kansas this is the only podcast I listened to I wonder if he didn't say anything even though he noticed the hickeys because he probably was also hooking up with other people at that time okay it could be that or it could just be that the baseball guys is skis and took advantage of someone's not so great state and the basketball guy was just like a kind person he saw the hickeys and he was like you know what I'm going to you know take care of her make sure everything's okay get her this sprite and like we'll we'll figure it out maybe he just liked her enough that he could overlook the hickeys I mean I'm not going to overlook hickeys like if I see that you have hickeys I'm going to immediately find out who the hickeys are from and this is not going to end well immediately immediately I hate that you guys aren't together anymore but I do think it's for the best oh it's definitely for the best never thank you for being the only podcast that you listen to we also do have other podcasts so so if you're interested like you can listen to our other ones okay hey ladies this is still traumatic but I can at least get a laugh out of it now in 2019 I was organizing the top cabinets in my kitchen and I'm only five feet tall so I had to use a stool to reach them my dumb ass decided to use a four-legged bar stool instead of a step stool I was standing on it when I shifted my weight the stool came out from under me and I landed with the stool leg in between my legs not up my cat just between my legs and all my weight down on the

leg my badge immediately started swelling and I had to go to the ER it was so embarrassing and it seemed like none of the nurses or doctors doctors believed me when I told them what happened and scheduled an appointment for me to see one of the gynecologists on that Thursday this was a Monday to make a long story short the following night I was in so much pain I was rushed back to the ER where they told me if I would have waited 12 more hours I would have been in full blown sepsis and the infection I have had could have killed me they kept describing it as blunt force trauma I was in the hospital for a week getting antibiotics I couldn't close my legs so I was spread fucking eagle for a week laying in that hospital bed moral of the story uses step stool and stay away from bar stools that is awful because how do you get sepsis probably because it it probably broke skin because she said she was swelled so bad and then some sort of infection from the bar stool I would imagine even like a little tiny scrape or because I have a girlfriend who she actually got sepsis from having like a mommy makeover and she almost died like if she would have waited one more hour she would have died so sepsis is nothing to fucking play with I'm wondering how they didn't catch that like sooner but that's insane I'm so glad that she's okay and I hope that she doesn't have any like long term effects from it but that's terrifying the biggest thing that I got out of this entire story is that we all need to be more mindful to not be climbing on cabinets because it is not abnormal for me to like go to put something away that I don't use like regularly but I use and it'd be like at the top of my cabinets and I just like launch myself up on the countertop I'll be like swinging from the kitchen cabinets like trying to get something up there it's so dangerous and I oftentimes think as a single person if I fell and something happens like I need to order a life alert for this house to wear around because if I did fall what would happen like if I busted my head wide open and this is a regular thing that I do like I'll be like in my closet doing it

like in the kitchen like all over the place I was in fifth grade and Julie was cleaning off these bookshelves like dusting off these bookshelves and bell backwards off of the bookshelves cut the back of her head open and my dad like founder or something so I do think that it's probably like a common thing that like shit like this happens most people don't get like vagina sepsis but like I do think that that's like a freak accident right but like stuff like this does happen no I mean when I was pregnant with Creed I fell down the steps and broke my ankle. Oh I remember that. Yeah. And also when I was a kid and I was vacuuming remember my hair got stuck under the vacuum and I was just laying there until my mom got home. So basically are we just saying that we just need to be fucking degenerates and just do nothing. We just need to be careful we don't need to be domestic anymore we don't need to be dusting off the cabinets or anything like what.

Just wait for someone else to do it or wait for someone to come to the house because the dust dust let the dust settle. Well I cannot wait to see you in a couple of days I really hope that you make your flight I hope that your diarrhea is gone. I can't wait to tell you the story that happened. I'm going to tell you in person because I need them to film your reaction. Okay well this is perfect for me I can't wait to hear. I love that. If you guys have not subscribed to the show you can do that by searching the purple podcast app type coffee combos click subscribe click the star leave us a written review. You can find us on pretty much every other podcast app always first at podcast one and make sure that you follow us on Instagram.

If you have not yet at coffee combos podcast and if you have not subscribed to our telegram you can find the link in our bio on the podcast Instagram for that. I hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. On all your favorite devices Pluto TV stream now pay never.