Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Morning Sex Sucks

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

Someone finally pooped, hooray! Lindsie asks, morning or night sex? Kail visits murder houses in LA, and shares her hilarious cheating story. Lindsie pretends she saw a fugative on the run and hold on.. is Kail- in LOVE?! Thank you to our sponsors! Fuzzy: Get a FREE 7-Day Trial membership at YourFuzzy.com/coffeeconvos Kiwico: Get 30% off your first month with code COFFEE at kiwico.com Pair Eyewear: Go to paireyewear.com/COFFEECONVOS for 15% off your first purchase

I hate gift-giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship family and life in the Public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's kale and Lindsay Hello everyone Wow Are you back Everyone was so disappointed that I didn't sing the intro last week. So I I'm trying to make it up to y'all

Wow, are you feeling better? No, I Okay, I know I Need to tell you that so one thing I really pride myself on is like You know how chaotic my life is and just like how scatterbrained I am but my kids are just never late to school because I make sure that I like pedal to the metal like in the mornings, but I Got in at like 1 a.m. on Saturday like into Sunday from LA and Yesterday was just like a whirlwind because I got up and went to my son's football games and the jet lag was catching up to me

so this morning I Committed like on purpose like I was like everyone sleeping in I don't care like we're all gonna sleep in and we went to we everyone went to school late and like I'm going to help for this like I dad's are gonna call and they're like we're going back to court Lincoln's on Lincoln's like late excuse like when I walked him into the building It was like students name time in and then reason and I just put toddlers because It was just like readjusting to life back home after being in LA for a week And then the jet lag and the timing and every it was just like a lot

Also, I it was just a lot, but I need to tell you something that happened. I have to tell you what happened Wait before you get into that it reminds me of when I would just like sloth around the suburb of Atlanta that I lived in growing up when I got my driver's license and I felt that it was important to go to Chick-fil-A for breakfast every morning or go And grab a bagel at the bagel shop and I would check myself in late to school and put MD on there like as if I had been to the doctor But really it was like every day it was yeah like all the time It would just be like reason reason why you're late MD could see him for McDonald's like technically. I'm not a liar

So it could be McDonald's it could be medical doctor like these are the things that were going on So I feel like you are now encouraging Your children to just be fucking swaths. I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that, but also I'm gonna tell you why so it wasn't just my Situation and like a jet readjusting back to regular life. It was also an incident that happened on Friday at school for Isaac Yeah, someone punched him. Oh, yeah, and smacked him. And so I was like this is okay. Yeah, why you were in LA. Yeah so Joe called me and This happened I guess like at an after-school dance or whatever and so I told Isaac I was like, you don't I'm not sending you to school on Monday. If you don't want to go like you don't have to go

I understand like why you wouldn't feel comfortable going and it was He he said he didn't fight back because he was afraid that the kid that hit him There was four other kids with him and he said if he hit back he was afraid that the other kids would jump him So I didn't I didn't make him go to school today He's not in school today and I emailed the school and I basically said that I Wanted to have a meeting with the other parents and the email that I got back was that they it's not in their Scope or like in their practice, I guess to get the parents together

Yeah, so I have dealt with this In an incident this year as well What I was told was the focus remains on the children and What's going on within the building and what you choose to do outside of the school and what happens in their building is on you? So I'll be calling I'll be sending a message. I'll find him on Facebook. I'll find him on Instagram I have done this wait wait wait. Why why can't the parents talk? I don't know they they don't

Don't maybe they're afraid of like a physical altercation happening with the parents, but it's like pull up like Your kid hit my kid your kid did this. So now face me, right? I want to yeah, I mean I feel like there needs to be because Like what? Yeah, so they will and I don't know if it's the same way where you guys live or not But if your child is involved in something at the school involving other students or another student They won't tell you what that child's name is. Well, Isaac told me everybody's names So I have everybody's names

Guaranteed if you asked the school they would have said they could not discuss another student with you. Oh, I feel like I Remember us talking about this not that long ago, and I just don't Um, but it's like how are you not gonna discuss you're gonna discuss the incident that happened But you're not gonna tell me who did it. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, and this is like This goes beyond like bullying. This is you know an actual physical altercation. So And the details behind this are like we're not talking about them They had a verbal like a verbal argument or disagreement or something and then the girls boyfriend Oh, yeah, I mean first of all, they're in sixth grade. Like what are you all doing?

And the Isaac said that I don't remember like which administrators said that if Isaac hit back He would have also been suspended, which I don't agree with wait. You're gonna get suspended for Protecting yourself hitting back like if yeah, that's what he said. He said that if he would have hit back He would have one he was afraid that the other kids would jump him and then two if he would have hit back He would have been suspended. It is my belief if somebody throws hands Then no, you opened up the door. That's what I said to hit. They were the first to hit. I'ma finish it That's what I told him. I said next time if there ever is a next time You got to fight back and you know what my son said to me

He said can I go back to jujitsu and he didn't want to go to school today and like that's not so sad It's so sad. He's like, I don't really want to go to jujitsu, but I feel like I have to that's what he said to me That is so sad. Bless his heart. We all need to be saying prayers for Isaac for those of you who don't pray pray anyway Kail, I have to ask you this and you can disrespectfully tell me to fuck off. Did you ever shit? I Shit this morning. Oh for the first time. Yes. Oh my god, and it was a healthy one It my stomach didn't even hurt. Okay. First of all, I drink so I I Haven't been drinking coffee So I just like I don't know why I just like haven't wanted it and like that's like so abnormal for me

This morning. I had to go to Wawa to get Lux's lunch and I was like, you know what I have to get a Wawa coffee It's been forever and I really just think this might make me go to the bathroom Instant poop healthy brand for you. This is perfect I like have never felt better But but I am going to the doctor tomorrow because I do want to have that I need to have it checked out. There's something very wrong That I just like I'm not shitting for four or five days at a time Did it literally burn your butthole when it came out like that's not okay I and I texted Kristen and I was like but for the amount of days that I didn't shit

This still isn't enough like even this is way TMI But like even though it was like a good healthy poop It was like still not enough for how many days and like how much I've eaten. You know what I mean? You were like that whole toilet should have been filled up and it should have been like five flushes at that point But it wasn't so I'm just trying to drink some water now like I have this 33 ounce water and I did I tell you that I got an IV drip while I was in LA We basically just sent memes and didn't have any conversations about anything. Oh, okay So I ended up getting an IV drip situation so that the nurse came to my hotel to give me some hydration because I thought

maybe that would help and also I am dehydrated but It's not we'll see what the doctor says tomorrow. Please. Please keep us updated. I will I will Do you feel like speaking of memes? Do you feel like if you send memes to people that automatically you love them? Oh 100% and I only send them to certain people I know I'm not sending memes to everybody like you don't get to be a part of the meme game if you are not close to me Correct. Correct. We are we are aligned on this. We are very aligned Okay, so how was LA? Do you feel? Good. Do you feel refreshed? Do you feel like you need?

very much vacation It was a lot of work. It was a lot of fun. I met a lot of really great people I have to say that I met everyone in person that we work with at podcast one and I love every single person That's in that office. Like I'm so proud and happy to be a part of podcast one when everyone is so Just nice and just great and they were I just love them. I do need a vacation. I am Burn out but guess what I did while we were in LA What did you do? I drove to

Okay, I hope this doesn't sound like because I hate when people do this to me But I feel like it was research. I drove to The house where the Menendez brothers killed their parents. Oh Wow, okay, and it looks exactly the same as the documentary. I I also went to the house that OJ killed Nicole and They kept the original flooring. I mean they put up like wall like I didn't like Did you peek through the windows? Were you a peeping Tom?

I did not I just drove by because they were literally all like in the surrounding area like literally one the Menendez brothers where they killed their parents was less than 10 minutes from my hotel like I could have walked there so That one looks exactly the same the place where OJ killed Nicole they kept the original like I don't want to call it tile. I guess like flooring outside To what would you call it like tile? Is it tile like the patio area limestone? Is it like limestone like? Chris did pave. Yeah, like the paver

Situation like the patio outside is original, but they put up like walls and like greenery So you can't like see the actual place which I completely understand and then we drove to a couple other spots, but like we didn't like go inside or like Look this kind of behavior reminds me of stuff that like my dad would do my nanny calls him a peeping Todd instead of a peeping Tom Not a peeping Todd. It's literally the kind of stuff that he would do never would I ever Drive by and look at someone's patio pavers and been like yep. That's where that murder took place. Really? Never I didn't think that people live there, but they do okay. Well this

Makes me want to ask the question and since we're just like on creeper status If you're dating someone do you drive by their house? No, no, right? I don't think I've the only no I did that to like one person He was cheating specifically. I did that to one person. Well just to catch a cheater, but that's literally it I've never I wouldn't do it again Never would I do that? I would be so they were yeah, even if I thought that if I think that they're cheating Then it's just done anyway. So what do I need to see? I've had multiple people drive by my house while I that I was dating What do they do they both caught me cheating?

Well to be fair to be fair the second one I wasn't cheating I was like it like it looked bad But I actually wasn't cheating the front one of them. I was yeah, it's like it's 50 50 chance Like I'm you might be cheating or you might not actually That's literally do you remember the guy Jordan that I dated. Yeah, I do That's how he caught me with Joe. Wait, what he showed up at my house Wait, are we talking about Jordan who was like as tall as a tree Jordan? Okay. Yeah, okay literally they showed it on teen mom so Different than how it actually happened in person Joe's or so Joe was at my little one-bedroom rinky-dink apartment and

We were doing whatever we do and Jordan physically showed up to my house and wait, wait This was after Isaac was born. Yes. Okay, so you this is such great info right now So you went back for seconds with Joe after Isaac was born and after y'all broke up Correct, but I didn't actually want to be with him. I just didn't want anyone What the fuck was going on? I was very young immature so just like selfish and like self-centered Because you're at that time Jordan was so good to me and I didn't I didn't want Joe But I didn't want anyone else to have him either, you know Yeah, so you were just being a psychopath at that moment. Yes 100% so Jordan shows up

He shows up. He's like in his car. He's at your door. He's where he's he shows up in his car Walks up to my door and he's banging on the door because he knows. Yeah, it was not great it was not great at all and But on teen mom they had me like tell him as if he didn't know But at that time when I was telling him on camera We actually like moved past it and he was like gonna forgive me and give me another chance and things like that And so it comes off very cold like I'm like very matter-of-fact Like telling him that I cheated but he already knew and so he was do you get what I'm saying?

Well, yeah, but okay I need to know when he showed up and he was banging on the door were you in a sexual embrace at this very moment Yeah, we were we were literally fucking like no. No, yes How did you know because he was pinging your phone and like you weren't answering so he was immediately like fucking Joe I don't know because I don't know if he was like supposed to come over and I thought that I could like Do this before he got off of work. I don't remember but you're being puzzling. Yeah, it was just not good. I I Yeah, it's not it wasn't good. It was I was just very That wasn't not I was not a good person

It was not a good person and that wasn't I wasn't wait I wasn't I need to know how it all ended. So did anyone ever answer the door for Jordan? Yeah, I did we did answer the door and I believe him it we Yeah, Joe. There was no option. There was no way out. Huh, there. No, there was only why wasn't Joe in the bed We first of all, we didn't have sex in the bed. It was in the shower. Oh god. Oh god. This is so bad This is just so bad. This is not the conversation that I thought we were gonna have this morning This is just so bad wait. So then that leads me to ask the next question Why people like shower sex? It's not a thing. No, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much

I just again like This was why were you guys having shower sex like at what moment I don't know I don't cross your mind to be like, yeah, let's get in the shower and fuck like One this is literally like 12 years ago. So I have no idea, but I I don't even know like I have no idea Were you a habitual shower sex person at that time 12 years ago? No, that's like the weird part. I just like wasn't and I'm still not I really don't like shower sex It's not my thing. We're alarmed But we are very alert. I just want to say like I honest to God

I'm so sorry for cheating on Jordan like to this day. I hope that he's living his best life and is it's chaotic free chaos free. I hope that he is Just didn't work at like Academy Sports. No, we worked we worked together at Sports Authority. Yeah that yeah. Yeah, everyone thought it was staples, but it wasn't You and Jordan working at staples like I would never buy office supplies from y'all like ever Ever I can't I can't know so wait you guys approach the door you and Joe and say yeah They ended up they ended up going for a walk, huh? Like they they were walking and talking and it was like nope

Yeah, it wasn't good. It was not good. I never just don't cheat like don't be that person because it's just not it's not a good time It's not it's not worth it Kale, what were you doing when they were walking and talking? Were you shitting yourself at this moment a hundred percent a hundred percent? Like you wouldn't need a laxative Fucking bubbleguts. Oh my god. I cannot well. I hope the Shower sex was good. Honestly 12 years ago. Um, okay, wait, it's not memorable. I don't know. I Cannot I cannot So I think that I get the most compliments on the glasses that I wear and

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Get glasses as unique as you are one pair infinite styles starting at just $60 go to pair eyewear comm slash coffee combos for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at PA IR eyewear comm slash coffee combos Okay, so let me tell you about What I found on well, we don't even know if this is like reputable, but we're gonna hope it's reputable It's talking about Pete Davidson's new tattoo. Have you seen this? Yes? Yes? I think it's just taking it too fucking far at this point I know as like consumers of you know, this type of stuff We don't actually know the time frame that they've been together, but to the public

It seems very fast and a little bit too much. Okay. Well, I'm gonna play devil's advocate on this. Okay. Let's hear it I saw I was on this whole tick-tock journey as I typically am on Kim Kardashian and Pete and she was doing this interview with some podcast and It was like Kanye and I didn't talk for eight months after we first filed for divorce And I'm like this has been going on for quite some time So I think because the public's just now not like just now, but like more recently just now finding out about all of this They've probably been talking for some time. However Getting a tattoo and branding and all of this stuff seems a little outlandish

However And could potentially come off as like love bombing But to a person who just gets tattoos all the time and that's how they express themselves Maybe it's like a form of expression No, no, no, no, so I'm fine with the branding and the my girlfriend's a lawyer Situation like that's fine. I the kids initials is where I draw the line Okay, so for those of you who have no idea what the fuck we're talking about a Fan reposted a photo of Pete on reddit

Which you guys know that Kaila and I fucking hate and saw his new tiny neck tattoo They captioned the thread Pete got the kids name tatted on him. He has something else. I tell you what? Pete's new tattoo red Aladdin and And K in SCP which fans thought stood for Kim North St. Chicago and Psalm People are saying it's like a crazy thing a major red flag The fact that he has Kim's name branded on him He's nuts. This is nuts and people are basically thinking the same thing as what Kail's thinking so What do you think like why do you just think it's hate it so much?

I hate it because I I Hate I hate it because I I it's it feels very too much too soon But again, like I say that I'm treading lightly when I say that because we don't actually know the amount of time And I just I don't know like I saw a video of Kim and Pete coming out of the The White House and Kim just looked Amazing her body is I can't like her body is so good I don't know. There's just something I Go back and forth like some days. I love it and some days. I hate it, but I just don't feel like

He is to her Like I don't want to say they're not evenly yoked like you feel like she is on one playing field and he's on another correct Okay, but also let me play devil's advocate on this because if If potentially I was looking for someone I would not be looking for someone that does what I do Right, that's fair and I get that and so maybe for her to have that sense of normalcy That she doesn't have because her life is crazy chaotic

Maybe he provides that sense of normalcy for her. She could right have pretty much whoever she wanted I don't know. I just some like I said some days. I love it some days I hate it and I'm just being very pessimistic right now. So I don't know people are also alleging that That tattoo was a plot made by Kris Jenner for a PR stunt. I mean the devil works hard She's out here, you know, I'm like we all hope to be Kris Jenner for our children For real. Yeah, no a hundred percent. She she knows how to bring in the big bucks for these kids

She sure does wait. So I also before we get off the Kardashian stuff I saw a people article about Kim and Pete attending the White House Correspondence Center together as you said she looked absolutely Amazing like she is stunning. I think she's one of the most beautiful women Don't come for me. And if you think about coming for me still don't It says that the two attended the White House Correspondence Center together in Washington DC officially making their red carpet debut The Saturday Night Live actor joined the reality star as her guest at the dinner

Which celebrates the work of the White House journalist and the media? She was invited on behalf of ABC as her new Hulu reality series the Kardashian's debuted earlier this month And they were holding hands and accompanied by a stern face entourage Swan down the center aisle of a massive crowded ballroom more than an hour and a half at the dinner began as The catering staff struggled to serve entrees almost 3000 guests Pete kept his sunglasses on and neither said anything as they made their way to the table So I thought one thing that was like

I mean Kim Kardashian Has the capabilities of even making Pete Davis in the cot We should all be scared. I also watched the newest episode of the Kardashians and God I didn't catch up yet Tell me like a small comment What? Like I like I told you guys before I'm gonna I'm gonna watch it no matter how fake the story lines Maybe may not be whatever scandals are occurring. I'm gonna watch it, but Kori Gamble was so cringe and awkward

Always has been is this brand-new news to me? Yeah So when they're sitting at the dinner when they're at the dinner with all their like a one-day ones It's like Chloe Chris Scott and Kori and then like their other like friends like really close friends and Kori just like it looks like he's always trying to say something And always getting cut off and like Chris can't be bothered with whatever he has to say I don't know what that makeup is of that relationship Obviously

Take elephant out of the room. I always thought that Chris and Bruce were so weird together. They're dynamic was just totally weird and I feel like the entire relationship with Kori for what we know is Totally awkward too. Yes 100% I just feels like She's his mom or something It's just so like he's just like a part of like the kids agreed. I don't know. I agree. I agree. Do you feel like that? Yes, I do Yeah, so why has Scott not called him out yet? Because I think every people he doesn't have to like people just know but how does everybody else know?

But like they don't or is that part of the sick joke? Maybe they do know like maybe Like maybe they're all very aware. Are they they're not married? Are they are they engaged or like married? No, I don't think there any of that. Oh, no, okay. No, I saw this one thing again on tiktok where it was like the Drone footage of Chris and Chloe's house like side-by-side and it literally looks like a fucking compound and It was this interview where they were asking about What Chloe liked about living next to her mom and she was like well, I can tell you the things that I don't like She's fucking nosy and anytime somebody that pulls in my driveway. She's pinging me like oh, who's coming over who's there?

I'm home and her dog shits all over my yard. Oh What and I'm like, you know what? My parents have always had this idea that they were gonna buy all of this land at some point and Have enough land for each of their kids to be able to build on and it would just be like a chrisley compound Absolutely not my I have family members. I did that. No, no one's doing that. Um, I Don't know. It's kind of a cute like I get it Like if you have millions of dollars to be like acres apart from each other Like that would be really cool for like the cousins and the kids and things like that

But also might be too close for comfort for some Well, then you have to think about life Situation, right? So it's like if everybody's on a reality show together and you're up each other's ass 24 7 anyway It's like who cares if you see my husband's dick slinging off the front porch when he's trying to take a piss on a Sunday morning Yeah, you know, it's like we don't care at that point You see you see me doing weird shit on my back porch. Don't care Well, you are minding my business. You probably already were anyway I mean, so we don't care. We don't care. We don't give a fuck

Could you imagine though? Like Chris Jenner just letting her dog shit in her daughter's yard? No I always like worry about my dog shitting in hot neighbor's yard. Like I don't want him to like be Out in his garage or something and my dogs go just like shit in his yard hot neighbor What's going on with hot neighbor? How's he doing? He's good. He got a new job and he's got a new job And a raise with benefits and all kinds of stuff. So I know he's living in thriving. I love that I love that neighbor. I hope he doesn't step into any dog shit That would be tragic Totally unrelated topic, but I need to know anyone who's listening and also you

If you're having sex, do you prefer to do that in the morning time the nighttime midday? When is it happening? I I like night sex after I take a nice shower But also like if we're we have a moment in the middle of the day I would also do that and also I'll do it anytime honestly Hmm. Okay, so You're fine like being woken up No, having sex. No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know

Having sex in the middle of the night. No, I had that you know When I was younger when I first started having sex and you're in the the new relationship and you're in the honeymoon phase It's like, yeah, whatever you want, but Now at you know, I'm 30 years old. Please do not disturb me from my sleep. Like you're either gonna have sex You know, it's called a sneaky dick. It's like, hey wake you up Nobody better be surprising me with a sneaky dick. That's a needle from me and all the way Wait, what do you do? Do you just say no?

Nobody, I think I make that very clear in the beginning of a relationship full on conversation Do not hit me with a sneak dick in the middle of the night My therapist told me to set the standards set the expectations right off the bat. So I I am talking like tell exactly I need to say exactly what it is and also like don't wake me up in the middle of the night Like I already don't sleep at night. Like I have insomnia Please do not wake me up with a dick, you know in between my butt cheeks. Like I'm not interested. Stop It's like You're woke up with a sneak dick and you don't know if like literally there's a fire happening. There's an emergency

No clue what's going on and it's just like, oh, there it is. Like the only let me just say though Like if it's between that and morning sex, like if I had to pick between the two I would say middle of the night only because It is so awkward in the morning like first thing in the morning with bad breath Like what are we doing? Like we can't even breathe. We can't we have to hold our breath We're basically passing out and losing brain cells just to not breathe on each other. You know what I mean? Oh, stop. Am I wrong? I don't think you're wrong, but I think these are things that everyone thinks about it's like

morning sex is probably The best but also the worst For the reasons that you just gave agreed also agreed like it is the best and it is like you want to start your day off, right? But how when you're potentially hot-breathing me I don't know though because first thing in the morning. I Wake up and pee

And brush my teeth and then I normally lay back down like regardless of the circumstances so unless it was like Again a sneaky dick that wouldn't be a scenario for me But I'm sure it is a situation for A lot of people like I'll wake up and brush my teeth at like 6 a.m And pee right right kill you're like and I'm not doing that like I'm laying here until after the morning Oh, yeah, every time. Yeah, I feel like no 100% like I don't even know if that's like a myth or if it's not a myth or if

It's real but like One time I read or heard or something that you're supposed to pee after sex and so immediately I pee after sex every time Yeah, every single time I Have had experience where I didn't and I went to sleep and got a UTI so Okay, so that it could be real. I don't know what it is, but um Yeah, also I just I will force myself

I will literally sit there for five ten minutes until oh tinkle comes out. Oh my gosh. So I have to tell you this story Okay, so I can't tell anyone who the story is about because you guys would know her if I said it um but she was dating this guy and it was like the first time they had ever slept together and They were staying in this Airbnb packed up everything She was gonna go pee before they left and he was hanging out in the kitchen whatever And I guess they had wild sex the night before and she said that she goes into the bathroom She goes to pee and she said she literally lets out the loudest queef and like

when she did it she was like I was like well, what did it sound like and she goes like I was like She said so in like to this day I don't know if he heard it Or if he didn't but like he was standing in the kitchen and I didn't know like to address it Do I say by the way it wasn't in there blowing up the fucking bathroom? I was queefing Right. No, I have actually said that like

after like Um, if I have kind of crazy sex and you know, if the dick slips out or something and then you put it back in wait, so If there's like a dick slip or something and then um when I go pee I get nervous because sometimes the queef will come out after that And so I will literally announce it on the way to pee like I may or may not queef, you know Because I don't want them to think I'm shitting or like Harding I was like, did you ever Tell him she was like, yeah

Almost a year later. I was like, do you remember when we stayed at that airbnb? And I went to the bathroom. I need to know if you heard me queef and he was like, what? And she was like, yeah, did you hear me queef in there in the bathroom? And he was like, no, I don't I don't think I heard you queef and she's like, maybe he's just trying to make me feel better But it literally sounded like I blew up the fucking bathroom. It was like I was like, okay Okay, heard enough Heard enough like that is it that is all I needed. Yeah, that is all I needed by the way

All right, let's talk about something that you definitely have heard us talk about before which is kiwi co You guys know that I am a lover of kiwi co crates and However, you decide to celebrate this spring season It is a perfect time to explore the world around your kids around you So why not nurture that natural curiosity with projects designed to teach them about everything from rainbows to rocket ships and everything in between Especially with four kids that are all interested in such different things I love that kiwi co delivers monthly science and art projects that spark a love for lifetime learning for kids of all ages and honestly, we just can attest to that because there is a crate for every single one of my my children and their different

ages so um We we love this. This is perfect to keep these on hand for rainy days snow days, which thank god We don't have anymore and there's you know, the summer is coming up So sometimes we can't just be outside all the time. This is perfect for spring and summer days when you can't go outside Your kids will absolutely love this so much I know all of our kids collectively love it and just showing up at the door every single month like kale said in the summer It is so nice to have these on hand They just arrive in the mail and then it will literally be their favorite time of the month

You can give them the tools to learn new skills build new experiences and make new connections to the broader world And as a parent, I know that can be so hard to find creative ways to keep your children busy and challenged Step into spring and celebrate the season of discovery with a kiwico subscription Get 30% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code coffee at kiwico.com That's 30% off your first month at kiwico.com promo code coffee I'm lindy chrisley. Join me for the southern tea. It's a weekly heart to heart from this southern girl and boy mom Who's just trying to navigate life. Nothing is off limits. I talk about it all life career Family motherhood faith and everything in between. It's an ongoing conversation and I can promise you one thing

I'm spilling tea the whole tea and nothing but the tea So listen to and follow the southern tea now on apple podcast spotify and wherever you listen to podcasts I got a message to my personal instagram. It says hey girl. So I'm a little behind on coffee convo's podcast I was just listening to the dick pic episode. You guys asked for stories. So here's mine I'm separated and should be officially divorced by the time you read this. Well Proud of you. Good job. Thank you for helping me choose this for me. By the way Well, didn't know that I was a huge advocate for divorce. This was just my journey But if this helped you in any way, love this for you listening to the podcast and you talk about your split from will

Honestly, it helped me make the choice for myself, too. Hope it was the right fucking decision. Oh my god Anyway, my daughter needed an eg because I suspect suspected that she was having absence seizures We live over an hour from the hospital Where she was going to have it done and it could only have four hours of sleep before the eg So in order to keep her awake on the drive my ex drove our daughter and I Since our divorce I've been online dating and occasionally bringing these men into my snapchat Well, we're driving down the road early in the morning and my usual five guy Roll my usually five guys roll in my snap with their good morning. Beautiful messages

Me being sassy asshole. I am I kind of had my phone angled In the view for my ex to see because you know got to give him a little jealousy Anyway, I'm going along with my messages and responding when I open one from a guy I recently started talking to it was his whole entire dick Close-up impersonal. I screamed my ex looked over saw the dick and was not impressed Okay That's tragic It was not impressed

like it's like you're trying to make him jealous and It's a tiny It's a shrimp It's a shrimp dick This is not good if you're if you're going to send a dick pic. It has to be elite like There has to be like a whole Situ like you must slap it on a green screen and edit the background like you better send Like an elite photo otherwise

Fuck that like I don't want to see their dicks are ugly. They're so ugly and just no No one ever sent me one again I get them my dms all the time and I'm just like Who is doing this like are these Saved ones that you've sent to like a lot of people and you just like are blasted in you're dingling out like everywhere Was this one that was specifically taken from me that I did not ask you for I definitely think there are like men who Are dick pic senders like they just naturally by nature are just like sending dick pics and then other men who just will not

Send dick pics. You know, I don't think there's like an in-between. Got it. Okay. Um, I definitely think that you're right on that I'm thinking inside my brain either do where you don't. Yeah, and it's like you're either that guy or not that guy Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. I need to know At what point that guy became that guy and thought hmm. This is a good idea I should I should definitely just like start taking pictures of my dick and Blasting it out to all the ladies that I like because I'm I'm impressed by it. So she'll be impressed by it, sir Would you like if your boyfriend sent dick pics because I feel like no, I don't want a dick pic at all Oh, okay, like no, I'm 32 years old

I do not need to be seeing your johnson hanging out on my phone screen I don't and no and if you've got the time to be just Rolling around snapping pictures of your dingling. Yeah, I'm just like I can't wait. I have to play this Um tick-tock that I saw this morning of this little boy I'm gonna play it for all of you guys to hear And then we'll post it I have a girl

Girls have different parts than boys Oh Yeah I saw that I saw that one. I was like, okay. I was just so kids will ask questions. So just like nonchalantly Who gate? At what point of his morning While he's strolling around in that tank top Did he decide

That it was a good idea to just run in there to his mama and ask if she's got a wiener I mean, I feel like That's you know that shows the comfort of their relationship. He felt like you should ask. I think that's great Um, you got a wiener mama. You got a wiener mama. Like love that. Okay. Love that for them. Love that. Um, okay so Let's get into some of these listener questions because Sometimes we just be getting behind, you know Mm-hmm. Okay. Let's get into them. Okay. Go for it

Okay Hi first off. I love your podcast. The two of you together is magic. I always end up crying from laughing so hard I wanted to get some advice from you for Right like someone thinks I have a personality. Thank you so much Um I wanted to get some advice from both of you for a current situation. I'm in I recently decided to cut my mother-in-law out of my life Oh, my mother not mother-in-law. I recently decided to cut my mother out of my life because she's a toxic person I have two kids ages four and seven who were very close to her

This decision was not easy to make but it had to be done once my kids started telling me that she would curse at them Tell them to shut up and spank them This is just a fraction of what she did to me as a child and I had hoped she would change once she became a grandmother Initially, I had a conversation with her letting her know that she could still see the kids But me and my husband needed to be there to supervise. She did not like or respect my boundaries and went off on me saying I had been a shitty daughter to her for the longest time She then proceeded to tell me that she was resigning from her role as a mother of a grandmother She even blocked me my friends and my whole family on social media

My mother is a very manipulative person who does not see the error in her ways I tried to have a conversation with her to let her know of my traumas growing up with her Which of course she denied and shifted the blame to everyone else now I'm struggling with even trying to explain to my kids why they aren't seeing their grandmother So far I have just said that her and I have had some issues that we can't work through for a long time I Made sure to let them know it had nothing to do with them and she loves them I also told them that my job as a mom is to always protect them and even if they don't understand

Being that they are so young. They obviously still don't understand and it breaks my heart How did you guys deal with the situation or how would you if you haven't been in it? This one's tough I feel like as a mom You know, you're doing every single thing that you possibly can do and there are some people that you just cannot It's like talking to a brick wall or talking in circles and you can't get through to them So it sounds like this mother is one of those people And I'm not going to have a conversation with someone who is blaming everyone else for my traumas like

Thankfully when it comes to my mom My mom has pretty much admitted or come to terms with everything that she Traumatized me with growing up um I think it's a it's a hard pill for her to swallow like knowing that she did that but um when my kids ask me about my mom I do tell them pretty much the same thing like My mom is sick and we can't work through the things that she's that we're going through and so I mean Isaac's really the only one sometimes um

Lincoln has like Been like oh like I met her once right or you know, just like clarifying but As your kids get older they will understand and I honestly don't think that you need my advice here because I think you're doing exactly what you should be doing I was gonna say I think this is exactly the way I also would handle the situation and I think when you become parents it's your job to protect your children And even if it's protecting them from things that you went through as a child from a person that should be close to them. So Those behaviors don't get to be excused

And it would almost be negligent if you know that you have traumas from these behaviors, but then you would still allow Them to go on with your kids. So I agree. I do agree with you For that. I mean, I'm like anybody who's cussing at my kid telling them to shut up and spanking them. No, you're You're going to hell because I'm sending you there 100% like you're on the first fucking flight there first fucking flight there hope the flames high Um, so I think that you're doing great. I don't know what your name is, but good for you The second one is I wanted to write in on bridesmaids backing out of the wedding 30 days before story My best friends made of honor just didn't show up to her wedding

Being legit morning of just didn't show up. She said she didn't feel like it craziest thing I've ever experienced my wedding is in 16 days and I will harass someone if they do not show um First of all, you better be shitting your brains out or have Some great story as to why you were my maid of honor and now you are a no-show Like this is not wedding crashers like 100% what the fuck is going on Um, first of all, if I ever get married again, I'm not having bridesmaids or groomsmen It's not a day for anyone else, but myself and my husband or partner

Wait, is the wedding back on the table? um I would say yes What? I I wouldn't have like a huge wedding or anything, but I I feel like I would have like a cute very very simple Ceremony and maybe like a dinner afterwards

Tell me more Like when did this change take place like I met the love of my life and I Shut up Kale, yeah How do you know? Yeah So it's crazy because they say when you know, you just know and that's how I feel What's the feeling you're not explaining the feeling you're just saying I just know so everything. Okay, you know how

Like I feel like I've known him for a lifetime Like I feel like I have known him forever. I literally am You know how I said like when I get engaged or when I get married is when I like post them I recall I'm like ready to like soft watch, you know, like I'm ready So I just like and it just feels like we've been best friends forever and now we're just like Together, you know, I feel like I've known him for forever

We need to post the tiktok. Did I send you the tiktok of the soft launch boyfriend on? Yes. Okay Did you I don't know but it was a trend that was going on on tiktok a while ago And it's all these ways to like soft launch your boyfriend on instagram And I just thought it was so funny because it's so true. It's like all influencers or reality tv personalities or anybody that has, you know, any type of substantial following Uh, they do it with kids too. It's like, oh, my baby has been born. Here's a picture of its fingernails um

Here Is my boyfriend. He is six five and there's an emoji over his head um Here is my girlfriend's big toenail Here is My boyfriend we're sipping cocktails. You will only see his hands and possibly his crotch because his face is completely cropped out Yeah, um, is this gonna be the type of soft launch that we can look forward to or what? I mean, I I hope so. I just want to do it at the right time. I don't want it to be like

too premature, but I also Like I don't know. I feel like I'm I'm just I don't know what this is Like I was on and off with someone before this for forever and like I don't know. I just never I never wanted to post him. I didn't really I don't know. I'm just ready. Like I'm excited about it. I feel good about it Yeah, but is this going to be Like an impulsive decision like one day you're just gonna soft launch him It's gonna be his toenail and everybody's gonna be like, hmm

Let me start looking at all of the feet to all the people that she follows On instagram and I will find this toenail imagine. Can you imagine? Yeah, I I don't know. I feel like I don't want it to be well It might be impulsive but like also like impulsively post but I know what picture it's gonna be. I know Oh, you already know this. Yeah, I already have um the picture I was gonna I made it like a little real like an instagram real But then um, I don't know. It doesn't look like it just very much looks homemade. So I was like, let me not um I mean, Lux took a picture of us. I'm gonna send it to you and this is the one that I'm gonna post

I just have to um edit out Yeah, what's getting edited on his sweatshirt. Okay. Hold on. I'm about to send it to you right now. Okay, wait I just feel like it was a very organic picture. I feel like we're becoming very Kardashian-esque like how they get Called out all the time for like all of their editing on their photos and like photoshop where they actually like photoshopped a kid into a photo Or like out of a photo. Okay. Yeah. So this is this is the soft launch. Got it. Yeah, and then I'll just edit out like his Company name on the back. Yeah, you guys are totally in love in this photo right now Like I just feel like this was so organic and like off guard. It's so fucking cute that I

It's like the dirty baby bottles are there like everything The open doughnuts on the stove. Yeah, the plant hanging out like we she's thriving the glass is on the counter like This is very this is very fitting to Who you are and I love this. Yes, you know what honestly? That laugh is the same laugh that you make when I talk to you. So this slightly pisses me off At least you know, it's a real laugh. Yeah

Yeah, I'm upset. I'm jealous Okay When is this happening? I don't know probably maybe within like the next two weeks or so. Okay. Well, I love this. I love this for you Um, well since since that's so happy and going on We were chatting in the coffee combos group chat this weekend because christin sent This article about a manhunt that was underway in alabama and I was like, yeah Like I saw that person this weekend and like I just love how you lied right you lied right on the spot

Yeah, I'm I'm like, I'm gonna trick them and they're gonna think that I actually saw this person and I'm hanging out with a murderer Um said manhunt underway in alabama for missing inmate corrections officer A manhunt is underway as local state and federal authorities search for an alabama inmate Charge with capital murder who escaped from custody with a female corrections officer over the weekend Um It says that they disappeared after the corrections officer escorted the inmate from The jail on friday and authorities discovered the disappearance by mid afternoon They will they were headed to a local courthouse for a mental health evaluation that was not scheduled according to the sheriff

The vehicle of the two the vehicle the two left in was later found parked in a nearby shopping center um Wait, so do we think that she helped him escape and is escaped escaping with him? Or do we think that he has her like hostage? It says two guards must escort an inmate away from a detention facility but white which was the female corrections officer Uh was assistant director of corrections and her authority was likely not questioned at the time She coordinates all the transports from the detention center to the courts and so forth

So i'm sure her subordinates didn't question her. I can tell you every employee of this office is shocked it says that um It was possible that vicky white was coerced um According to the tv station. We assume At this point she was taken against her will unless we can absolutely prove otherwise the fbi the us marshals service and the alabama law enforcement agency Are searching for kasey white who is charged with two counts of capital murder in september 2020 for allegedly having a 58 year old Who was found dead inside of her home in 2015?

He confessed to the murder and is awaiting trial He was already serving time for a series of crimes in 2015 that included home invasion and carjacking So basically this guy's just a jack of fucking all trades If you guys find him which i lied and told christin that i did the us marshals service is offering a $10,000 reward for anyone with any information. So um, we will post what they look like Yeah, it says that he is six feet six inches tall weighs 252 pounds and has gray hair hazel eyes She's five five and 160 pound with brown brown eyes and blonde hair so descriptive Um, we'll post a picture so that you guys have if you guys haven't heard of this case that we can

You guys can keep your eye out for that christin was like, uh Uh Wait, you really saw him in atlanta insane and i'm like, yeah, like I Literally saw him just lied right on the spot Lindsay and i want to tell you guys about something that we haven't talked about yet And if you have a pet, you know that they're part of your family Fuzzy knows there's nothing that compares to coming home to the little wiggle But are waking up to soft purrs and we want you to keep your pets healthy and keep them happy as long as we can

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y dot com slash coffee combos again your fuzzy dot com slash coffee combos for your free trial of fuzzy With access to 24 seven personalized pet care and vet recommended products um Okay, someone sent me a message and said thanks for talking about divorce and wanting different things in a partner now Than when you were 19. I was married young 21 and I am now 38 considering divorce It's been a daily battle in my head for a while and I've been justifying leaving as well as justifying staying It's taxing me and it's something that I'm working on in therapy Your conversation speaking to change what you want in a partner as you age gives me a sense of relief

It's a validation that I'm not a horrible person for no longer being in love with my husband nor content in my life um I think since we talk about relationships and we've Talked about it pretty much throughout this episode that this is very fitting um I will say and I say this all the time I'm not an advocate for divorce because

I feel like you should always try to make something work until you can no longer try and you know that that option is completely exhausted That is what I did and it took years it was years in the making and I can very much relate to Justifying leaving and justifying staying at the same time um And this is a very hard decision to make but for me I woke up one day and just knew

I was like Nope, like I have to for my own sanity for the sake of my child's Mental and emotional well-being. Um, he never saw us fight or anything like that, but just for his growth and for him to be able to be in two happy homes And I fully believe that divorce isn't always Horrible um, it's not great circumstances

You know, I mean, it's not it's not ideal. You don't sign up to get married and be like Yeah, you know Probably gonna divorce. No, like it's not the greatest of circumstances, but I do think that You can make it great if you do it the right way and I don't know I want to add on to that. I think Just being someone who also got married. I got married before I turned 21 um

And you know, I don't think that that for me when I look back I don't think that that was a super great decision because who I was at 20, you know, 18 1920 Is not who I am today at 30 years old. Like I I know myself more. I've matured more now that I'm 30 I've experienced a lot between then and now And I just think that And I'm not saying that every single person that gets married young, you know, doesn't know who they are but I think that is a huge part of You know, when you're when you're

20 and then you're 38 and you're no longer happy because you're not the same person You you neither one of you guys are the same person. Well, I think that Getting married young It's always not going to be a failure, right? If you both are very intentional about growing together and individually And being very intentional about that. I think that the marriage can work and it can last That was not my experience and I will say I do not regret getting married I don't think that I would be where I am today if I didn't and I know that moving forward into a new relationship

I can provide something that I don't believe I would have had the capabilities of providing without having that experience of being married The maturity level is very different. The experience is very different Being married to someone versus just being, you know engaged or in a relationship is very different And so to be able to come out on the other side of that and take some of the positives out of it instead of looking at everything negative I think that's very important. I agree with that. Yeah, you're like no hated being married There were parts of it that I liked. Um, I definitely don't think that I knew what the fuck I was doing and I think that if

Hobby and I were to be married right now It would be very different. Um, but I don't I don't know if I've ever regretted it. Maybe maybe I have I'd probably go back and forth but I I think I know what I want and what I don't want now and I don't know if that's partially because I've been married in the past or if that's because I'm just older now but um, you know I don't think you should beat yourself up over the fact that you know, you're you're Older and you you may you may want to get divorced. I think That's okay. You're human. I was talking to my girlfriend

Caroline about getting the ick and I think once somebody gives you the ick in a relationship It's time to get the fuck out. It's time to get out. Yeah, you can never come back from that. You can never come Yes, you can never come back from that. There's no Making it work after that. Yeah, it's like, okay. I Full time have the ick now and so for those reasons alone We are not continuing this. Yeah, I agree. Um, okay, so want to do foul play? Okay Hi ladies, I love your podcast and I heard you were looking for dick pic stories sweet cheese and crackers I've got one for you

I've received my fair share of unsolicited dick pics when I was in my in the dating world But I had one that stopped me in my tracks. I'd gone on a couple of dates with this guy He was nice and I was into him excited to see where it will go One night I get a text from him that he wants to tell me something because he feels it's a big deal And he wants to be honest and upfront because it's literally one of the reasons his wife divorced him color me interested He starts to tell me the size of his boat Was really big now. I've heard this song and dance before it's usually a guy just looking for an excuse to be gross

And think he's being sexy, but this man was completely serious. No humor was being legit No humor. He was being legit He didn't want to get invested or I get invested if this was an issue But after hearing his wife left and divorced him over the size because intimacy was impossible I had to see and I asked him to send me a photo and I didn't even have words It was the size of the rocks forearm Man was carrying a full-term 10 pound infant in his pants. Not an exaggeration This thing wasn't just big. It was massive. So I thanked him for his transparency and wished him the best of luck

That was a big old note note for me And that's my dick pic story. Love you guys Okay So I thought that this was gonna like be taking a completely different turn When you started reading this in my mind I had had said that this man was sending a picture of someone else's dick and his was actually tiny I thought this was gonna be like I Yeah, I have a huge dick and then it ended up being like a little shrimp. That's what I thought was happening

Yeah but to say that it was the size of rocks forearm And a 10 pound infant in his pants. That's literally a third leg and I am alarmed. I feel very bad He's a tripod He's a tripod. Oh, how would you? I mean, so I'm I feel like I'm very open-minded when it comes to like Stuff once I'm once I'm comfortable in the relationship. So right off the bat. No, but once I've warmed up I feel like I'll do pretty much anything

and I I feel like he would never Be able to be pleasureed like it would always have to be Toys and oral and things like that like he would never But how could you because it sounds like she wouldn't be able to do you even manage You couldn't put it in your mouth. How could you even manage that? I don't know. He would have to give the other girl or oral and like toys and stuff

And so like the girl would be the only one pleased. He would never be able to like Be pleasureed like I am alarmed for this man more than anything because I don't know that He will ever find a vagine That is going to be able to take that well Like the size of the rocks forearm. That's crazy. I wonder if there's like You know how there's like do you have pick you know pump surgery? like is there like us us

To make it smaller surgery Wait, ma'am. Do you have photos of this still that you would like to send coffee combos podcast? Not this is basically a solicited dick pic right like we need to see this yes, we do because I I don't know what that would even look like like that's literally a leg. That's literally yeah. Yeah, I'm scared Send more info We need we need next

Okay, my husband and I live in north dakota. Why because of the military this place is awful We had a snowstorm three weeks ago a literal snowstorm 65 miles an hour winds and 48 inches of snow. What the fuck? It's like another country. Are you an Antarctica? We're not okay. The morning it began our work was already closed My husband got up to let the dogs out and he had come back upstairs to tell me that he had to shovel out the back door Because the wind had blown a snow drift higher than the door itself He said he saw something on the floor and needed to turn the light on he then says that the dog's shit And turns on a bedroom light

I'm shitting you not there were six to eight piles of diarrhea and two or three piles of vomit He said I have to shovel so that they can go outside. You've got to clean this up I said what the fuck and had no idea where to start I went into the hallway closet to get paper towels turn the haul light on and find more shit Up and down the hallways in my bathroom everywhere. I finally get it all cleaned up two hours later I went to wash all of our bedding as my dog had stepped in a pile and jumped on our bed and guessed through a turd into the washing machine It clogged the walk it clogged the machine and caused the washer to throw an error code My husband spent four hours trying to fix it and ultimately agreed fuck this. We are buying a new washer

It took five days for the roads to open back up and finally be able to kill to buy a new washer and do laundry again I love you curls and the podcast ps. My dog feels better by the way. Okay, so it sounds like y'all needed a camera You needed You needed fuzzy growing up in my mouth. What are you even? Okay, so can I just tell you I I Since I became a dog owner um a dog mom I always was like really really really really really embarrassed if my dog ever had an accident

And I would always be like what the fuck is wrong with me and my dog that like my dog had an accident in the house And like I guess as time goes on it's very normal Like even the best trained of dogs will like have an accident or two But this goes beyond the scope of accident like what do you even do? The smell of that house and you probably couldn't even open the windows because it was so fucking cold outside This dog's literally passing away like gosh It's bowels are being released and like something bad is happening like I feel so bad for him

That's why we would need to call the telehealth. Like that's why we've always needed that kind. We need to call fuzzy because This is alarming Did you I wonder if you ever found out like what was wrong with the dog? If I stepped on shit I'd throw my whole foot away If I stepped on this pile of shit I'd throw my whole foot away Whole I just can't I just can't I mean I can't I literally can't Did I ever tell like did I tell you about my dog room at my house?

Well, yeah, but I've heard no updates. I don't know if it's the best or worst idea. I've ever had It's literally the worst. I knew it was gonna be the worst because I like my dogs need somewhere to go when they like go in their crates or whatever And this is not up for debate. My dogs are crated at night. That's just what it is they're extreme chewers and It just is what it is. So, um Like we have to take the crates out of the room and like wipe down the walls because of drool and hair and stuff like that And you still have to clean it

But no matter how clean it is like right now in my dog room the the floors are mopped the walls are wiped down There's no hair because they were at the kennel while I was in LA. So I'll pick them up tonight And it's just smells so bad in there and it's clean. There's nothing wrong with it. There's no dog hair There's literally in the walls. It literally smells so bad. So I don't know if it's the best or worst idea I've ever had What kind of cleaning supplies have you been using in there and is it just like so ranked that it's not coming out? Yeah, I don't I don't even know like It's just I don't know. I thought it was a good idea his bone been in there

Bone has not been in there. She actually moved kind of far from me. So she hasn't been over there. She hasn't been over Um, but no, she's not in there She's not in there. Oh my gosh. Wait, so I'm sending you two photos This is how precious My dog is she sleeps with me and she's so precious in the morning. So I cannot relate Oh So sweet

See how precious. Yes. She's so sweet so I don't know what's going on with The wildebeest that you fucking have But you need to get them under control and They must be stinking if your thing smells that bad and your house is so new So sad. God, that would that would piss me. Yeah, I don't even know what I like. I genuinely be so pissed I don't know what to do. I thought it was a great idea to have their own area, but and it's weird because

like I took The crates out to like clean We even like I even like hose down because my dog's drool like king I don't know if anyone else has kingcorsos, but gross shake their heads and then the drool goes everywhere Um, it's like slapping on the wall literally. So yeah, and so and just like the dog shed and stuff like that And so take the crates out pressure wash them Um wipe the walls down wipe the mop the floors and it just still stinks. I don't know. I don't know I don't know wait. Can I tell you about?

Did I tell you about me pressure washing? Did I tell you that last week? Yes, and I love that story for you. Okay Okay, well this weekend I planted everything in my yard and Heather and her boyfriend pulled up to my house this morning And they were like, why do you have like full-blown trees in your trash can? and I'm like You guys like I've obviously been busy being domestic around here and mind your business like

literal full-blown trees like pulled up so much shit in my yard and it feels so good And I need to know are you as big of an outside planter and like making your yard look pristine and like nice and so crisp as you are with your inside plants or no? I I don't have any landscaping outside, but I like to keep my landscaping fresh and immaculate. Is that the right word? What what does immaculate mean? Yeah Yeah, I love to have fresh landscaping and christen hates it because it's not good for my budget and it's not good for my bank account It's so expensive. It's the most like unexpected expense

But I love for my outside. I'm not I'm not touching landscaping at my new house until the pool goes in because I'm just going to do like one Landscaping job. I don't want to have to do the front and then do the back and then it doesn't match and I change my mind whatever I like for my outside plants to be just as fresh and good and taking care of as my inside plants Oh my gosh, I got a bunch of hydrangeas to go like near my bedroom window. So whenever I open my drapes I just see like those beautiful flowers out there and it makes me so happy and Using that damn pressure washer all the time makes me so happy and it's like who have I become Um, who domesticated woman Martha Stewart?

Like Martha Stewart. Yeah, pretty much. Is that who I am? That's I mean, I love this for us. I love that. I love that for us so much. It feels so good honestly for your sanity to be able to get outside and like do yard shit and like Cleaning shit. I yeah, and it's basically shit that you think that you probably are not Educated enough to be doing but like you're doing it anyway, and it feels so good. It's like, yeah I'm gonna knock these cobwebs off with this water blaster. You bet your ass. I am You bet your ass I am It's like who told me like who who?

And I have some special guests that are gonna be doing some pop-ins to my house in a couple of weeks That I just feel like everything needs to just look pristine, you know It's like I'm not doing it for other people to see it, but like kind of what do you wait? What do you mean some special guests doing some pop-ins? What kind of special guests? I can't tell you. I can tell you privately. Okay, but I can't tell you publicly. Okay, um But yeah, I have some special guests that it's gonna probably be making some stop-ins And I'm like, okay, this place has to look good. Like I know what the fuck I'm doing a hundred percent. You know, yes

Yeah, I mean feel that way. Yeah. No like especially when I would be filming and stuff like for teen mom I would always make sure like my landscapers came like right before we're about to film because I can't have it looking like a I mean, there's definitely been times I've filmed when it looked like shit and I hate that feeling not because I don't know like I don't know what it is like it is kind of for other people But like it's kind of like when your parents told you to clean your room because you're having company and you're like Nobody gives a fuck about my room mom, you know, yeah, I mean my mom never told me that but other people's parents well for sure and Just like you said, do you want the world seeing your yard look janky? No, you know

So, you know, I went to Lowe's and Home Depot this weekend and got some Plants and I was out there petite roses hydrangeas azaleas Every species that I could find that I thought looked good. I was like, yep. Let's let's fuck it up like let's do it Like this is gonna be so good. It's gonna look so good. It's gonna photograph so well um the weird shit that you think of as uh I would say podcaster but like doesn't really fucking matter because you guys don't see it But like, you know an influencer or whatever you want to call us. I hate that word actually, but um the weird stuff that you think about

It's not average Wait, I have to tell you this before we go. What have you ever had a tree and your yard that attracts it like bees and like More squirrels than normal No, have you ever had one of those? No all any house that I've lived in has had trees like Not near me, but I do have a lot of carpenter bees right now Which I had no idea what carpenter bees were until hot neighbor told me he was like, oh, those are carpenter bees And I was like what the fuck? Why do you know that?

Um, but yeah, I don't know. I think that's what I have in this tree And I'm gonna have to figure out how to literally uproot this thing because I got stung Inside of my head so evidently the bee got up inside my hair at some point and then just decided to fucking prick away at me and Now I've got to get rid of this tree and this same tree Had a squirrel, but I'm pretty sure it was a flying squirrel in there. Have you ever seen those like where they like piled out at you Remember when I had them in my attic like infested. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was a flying squirrel and

Literally terrified me. I'm like, what's what's with this tree like Who put this there who thought it was is this a sick joke from the builder like Who's doing this to me? So what are you gonna do? Probably something will did to me Will did it as a prank. Yeah, it's like, oh, I know this a little attract flying squirrels and scare the shit out of her So let me put this and the whole beehive in here. Um, what am I gonna do? Yeah

I'm gonna Get some help. Okay. I'm gonna get some help on that this week. Actually, so I'll update you guys Um on my tree I'll actually take a picture of it and show you what it looks like and you can tell me if it's typical Or if somebody is literally plotting against me. Um, also really quick before we go Did you hear about a reboot of that 70s show to be that 90s show? Huh, are we on it? Um, I don't know. We should be we should be the children that 90s show I love this idea. Yeah, so just wanted to let you know about that

Where did this news come from and is this like hypothetical? It's really happening Um, it says Netflix memes. So I don't know if it's like an actual like legit thing, but Wait, do we think it's gonna have like All the shit from the 90s where people are strolling around in jellies and eating gushers and Lisa Frank Lisa Frank shit and it's like keenan and kill All that I hope so vines might be making an appearance. Probably not. Have you been seeing the stuff that she posts by the way?

um, I We're out of time But I did see Perez Hilton posted about like she said that her she was afraid of her husband or something and he's on crack cocaine but then he Took a drug test and he passed like there was all kinds of headlines this past week Yeah, should we cover it next week? We should we should do that. Okay. Well, then You bitches we gotta go. Um All right, if you have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on instagram christin posts some great shit over there

So make sure that you're following it. I love to follow it myself because I just get to be surprised by the fuckery that happens um You can do that. You can search for us on the purple podcast app. You can find us on spotify Any other app that you guys are jacking around on um podcast one. Okay. Love you guys and goodbye. See ya.