Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Mother-Son Relationship, Peer Pressure & Disney Trip Planning

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

CC350: On this month's bonus episode... Lindsie and Kail are perplexed at the reason Marlon Wayans never married. Lindsie shares an article about peer pressure and talks about what she's observed with Jackson. Kail wants to plan a Disney trip but scheduling and price are becoming an issue. Today's Foul Plays are giving helpful AND traumatic...  Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors! Apartments: Visit Apartments.com, a place to find a place ExpressVPN: For three extra months free visit ExpressVPN.com/KAIL Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kaila and Lindsay. Hello, ma'am. Welcome to Coffee Combo. Are we both just not going to say anything? Welcome to Coffee Combo. Good morning. You know, a meme that I saw this morning when I was on my morning scroll. What? It was like, for those of you who got talking too much on your report card What do you do for a living now? And I honestly wanted to comment and be like talk too fucking much

That's basically what I mean, I never really got in trouble for talking too much I I don't know what my like, my like superlative was. That's not a superlative, Kale. That's like a negative thing on your report card. Like when you are, I think from like kindergarten to fifth grade, I don't know if it happens in middle school, but it's like, it's a section on there. And I always got it. Oh, okay. Did Todd, was Todd a fan of that or was he pissed off? Anything that was negative, he was absolutely pissed. I mean, I understand that, rightfully so.

One time my parents had to go to a conference and it was like, well, we've tried to move Lindsay around to different like sections of the class and she always still makes friends in each section. So well, what would the alternative be the alternative would be that you would be a loner and you had no friends. So it's better to be a social butterfly than

Oh, I definitely was a social butterfly. Did you have a senior superlative? I did not I did not win any category. I was pretty much a nobody in high school really, truly. I got worst much a nobody in high school, really, truly. I got worst case of senioritis. Oh, did you just never show up? Am pretty as eyes. Did I not ever tell you on this podcast before

that once I started driving myself, you could check yourself in, like your parents didn't have to check you in, and you would be late? So did you just not show up? Oh, I would show up late all the time and I would put as my excuse, MD on there. And that was my out because it could either be medical doctor or McDonald's. So. Actually, no, I have a sick obsession with McDonald's right now. And I will tell you what I get. I get a double cheeseburger, add Mac sauce, and I literally go once a day. So.

Wait, what? I'm getting diabetes and I'm dying. Can you And I literally go once a day. Wait, what? I'm getting diabetes and I'm dying. Can you go to McDonald's once a day? Specifically for the double cheeseburger ad mac sauce. Do your kids like McDonald's? Yeah, they love the Nuggies. I know this is gonna be an unpopular opinion,

so please don't come for me in the comments when this probably gets posted, but I prefer to have McDonald's chicken nuggets over Chick-fil-A nuggets. 1000%. 1000%. I have graduated. Well, I've been held back.

So I'm no longer a Chick-fil-A fan. There's nothing that could convince me to drive to Chick-fil-A. It is out of the way. I don't love their waffle fries. I never really have. It's just not my thing. I'm truly a McDonald's girlie through and through. Okay. In order, fast food restaurants, how are you ranking fries? McDonald's is number one. Okay.

And that is it. McDonald's is actually last on their fries for me. Arby's curly fries are my number one. Okay. And that is it. McDonald's is actually last on their fries for me. Arby's curly fries are my number one. I would say that's my number two. Chick-fil-A waffle fries are my number two. Really? Everywhere else sucks. And every time, it could just be my McDonald's,

but here's a hack for y'all. If you wanna get hot fries from McDonald's, order them without salt and then ask for the packet of salt when you get to the window because they have to make them fresh. I need to know what Wendy's and Burger King are doing because their fries are absolute trash. Absolute trash, but if anybody tries to argue with me about who has the best fast food burger and says anything other than Burger King, there's something about that like char on it. I don't know what it is, but it's so much better and superior than any other burger. My double chin is truly protruding right now.

Is it chinning? It's chinning. The chin is chinning and it's from McDonald's. So thank you. Okay. So let me tell you, I watched this movie last night on Netflix. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I've been watching movies for the past two nights. Is that when I FaceTimed you last night on book club and you were watching something? Yes, it was some marriage, I forget what the name of it was, but it's basically about this mom who dated this dad, but their kids are getting married and then they fall back in love with each other at the end of the movie. Um, don't know what it is with the chick flicks

right now, but very into them and gonna keep, gonna keep going. Okay. Woke up, came out into my kitchen and realized that I successfully went to the grocery store and got the Alani's that I wanted with the flavors that I wanted and then forgot to put them in the refrigerator. So now my Alani's on ice. It's not my favorite way. I also have my hydro jug. So I'm going to be very very well hydrated And I also started my lady days and I happen to see your reel that you posted The other day talking about lady days. That's a new term for it. What do you call it my period? Yeah, I just feel like that seems like such a harsh thing to say okay. I think I'm behind that I'm just like lady days. I

bleed so heavily and a lot people in my comments were talking about my tubes being tied or it gets worse with tubules. I have not had that experience. My tubes have been tied for six months and my period is just as heavy as it's always been. A lot of people struggle with the same thing. How long do you get a period for? Like you specifically?

Sometimes, okay, I need to ask everybody this too. Do some people have like worse cycles than like another month? So like one month it'll be like heavier and then one month it will be like light? Yes, but also, I mean, me no, but I think other people have. I also, I mean, people commented about diet and exercise and all of those things and obviously those are all factors, right? So I just got done talking about like eating McDonald's every day for the past month. I had heavy, heavy periods before that.

So yes, I think that's part of it. Um, because if you don't fix things long-term, like you eating healthy for one month is not going to change the cycle, you know, the next month, but I don't know. There's just something weird about like nobody wanting to get to the root of the issues or talking about the root of the issues. And if it truly is just a diet problem, we can fix that. But like we can't because it's so fucking expensive

to eat healthy and I haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks. Another thing that absolutely terrified me this morning was on my Instagram scroll. I saw this reel talking about children born after 1980 will not outlive their parents because of the rise in cancer rates. Absolutely terrifying. I did not read that. Yeah, I just saw it this morning. Wow. Okay. I mean, but wouldn't they won't outlive their parents? Well, I guess we will just all die at the same time

because we would have- No, I think maybe what it meant was talking about they won't live as long as what their parents did. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I see what you're saying. Got it. You know, so- Et cetera. Like if your mom died at 79,

like you probably won't make it to 79. I see what you're saying. Okay, because my grandparents truly, they didn't live very long. I don't feel. That's so scary. Also look at my hair right now. It looks like you just got out of the ocean,

like glowing. This is just what my hair looks like when I get out of the shower and I don't do anything to it, but it's raining. So I was like, fuck this noise. Like, why am I going to go in here and apply heat to my head and go outside and I'm going to look like a Chia pet.

So. I got a blowout yesterday and unfortunately the humidity is fucking me up. So this is where we're at. Do you have anything productive to tell me today? Productive, yes. Well, so I had book club last night and I absolutely loved it. We had a great time and the girls were talking about how you actually got some of them into

reading. And then so I didn't know that you had a book club before I started my book club and then that's when you told me that you had the book club. If you told me about the book club before that point, it went in one ear, not the other. But they were saying they wanted merch that said fake book club on it. Isn't that so great that I got people, first of all, any book club members of Kale's actual book club. I love that I got you into it and I bamboozled the fuck out of you guys and did not read the book. They were laughing. So I appreciated that they weren't being me at all. And so I love that.

But I would love fake book club merch. I think that's hilarious. I need to tell you about Miss Lindsay Creaseley. Thomas Jefferson University recently had their graduation. And the woman who was doing the names for graduation, right? They say the name, hand you your diploma and you walk the fuck off stage. She decided to say, fuck the regular names. We're going with the phonetic pronunciation list only. How do we feel about this?

She butchered Thomas, okay? The name Thomas, she did this for several fucking names like Virginia, Marissa, Thomas, and I get it. There are people who have names that are hard to pronounce. I understand that, right? But like to say completely fuck the regular list, I'm only going off the phonetic spelling list, like you are fucked.

So they ended up actually removing her. They ended up removing her and having someone else do the rest of the names, but hold up, let me show you. I literally saved it just for you. The guy Thomas was like, it's Thomas. I was like, okay, are you ready? It has been used. was like, it's Thomas. I was ready. Yeah.

Me. Jean Lou. Yeah. That was Megan. Luis Aubrey. That was Stephanie. Jessica Lynn. Jessica. Wait, what?

Ouvoon Jinju Brennan. Sarah Virginia Brennan. And last but not least. just read a little bit. Tom Mugmey! You hear him? He said Thomas Tom Mugmey. And he was like, Thomas. So they removed it. This is Thomas Jefferson University. This is a doctor's graduate from here. Like, imagine your video walking across the stage, Thomas Jefferson University, and then butchering

your name like that the way I would be so pissed. I would have a different reaction because I personally find it to be hilarious. And it adds some comedic relief and something that probably nobody wants to be at. But also like you're not this this was recorded and so you're not, like people are not going to associate your name, like what an accomplishment to graduate from Thomas Jefferson University, right? Like that is the, like fantastic. But like it's recorded and then people don't know that was you. I get it. It can be funny, but I think it could piss people off at first. Like, like

cry now, laugh later kind of thing. But were these people like walking when their names were being called? Okay, so in the event that my name was called, and I didn't understand it. Oh, my God. Okay, but I just think it's funny. Yeah. I mean, maybe a little bit disrespectful, but funny nonetheless and I Careless a little careless to just say Fuck so many of my teacher friends though They tell me every year at the beginning of the year that the first day of school is Like the worst because when they go to try to pronounce people's names, they don't know how to pronounce it

So they're just kind of like sitting there and they don't want to be offensive to say something that's like completely wrong. I would, I would suck as a teacher. I will say I, but I at least try to say it, say someone's name correctly. And if I don't, I'm like, Hey, like, I don't know if I'm pronouncing this correctly. Like, please correct me if I'm wrong, but to completely butcher it when it's literally Jessica, slightly offensive. Slightly. We're laughing now. But you know what I mean?

I just, I cannot. I feel like the parents who paid for their children to go to that school would be absolutely fucking pissed. That's what I think. That's what I think. That's where I think. Like, I don't even know how you would pronounce, like I, I suck, I sick. I don't even know how she would do like

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He was in White Chicks and other- Oh, yeah. Hold my poodle. Hold my poodle. So he has two kids with a long-term partner. Okay. And if I remember correctly, it's somewhat like the long-term partner was like 10 plus years. And like I said, two kids, right? So for all intents and purposes, this is essentially a wife, right? Like two kids together. How is that not the same? Wouldn't your mom be jealous of her as well? I don't know. Like I don't understand that justification. So as boy moms, right? Like I understand the love between a mother and son, but I feel like Marlon took this next fucking level, right? And so if I raise six boys and they're

adults and they're going to be in relationships, I hope that I raised them well enough to know that their partner does come before me. This is the family that they created. I'm not here to interfere with that. For one of them to say to me, I don't want to get married because I don't want you to be jealous. I don't want you to feel like you're competing with another woman.

That's not the dynamic here. I feel like if you've raised your children right, and there's not really a right or wrong way, so I don't want it to sound like that. Like there's so many ways that you can raise your children and it doesn't make it right or wrong. However, if you raise them and you're confident in your raising, they should feel confident in being able

to select a partner and not feel that pressure that they're gonna have to choose. Because naturally your relationships change as your children get older. partner and not feel that pressure that they're going to have to choose because naturally your relationships change as your children get older. My parents always told us growing up, I'm not your friend now. Like there will be a time and a place for me to be your friend, but it's not during these child rearing ages. And when you're grown and you're out of our house and you're not dependent on us naturally our relationship will change and it will become a different kind of

parent child relationship where there will be a friendship sometimes i think that people never get out of that face of you are always the child so I think that's where the problem comes in. And in some aspects, right? Like in terms of protecting your children or loving them through all of the ebbs and flows of life, I feel like you'll always be the parent. So you're always gonna love your child unconditionally or you're gonna love them as your child, right?

Like you feel that maternal need to like protect them or those types of things. But in terms of the love and the relationships that should come after they move out of your house, I agree with you. Like that makes sense. Like we're friends now, I'm still going to love and protect you and you are my child and that whole thing, but I'm no longer the parent in this part of our mother-son journey, if that makes sense. Yep. And also my second thought to that was, well, I have a couple more thoughts. So one of them is, is this a mental illness to have that sort of relationship with your mom?

Because I just don't think that you should be jealous, maybe in the time spent, but to be jealous of another woman that your child is creating a family with, that to me feels like a mental illness. I just wonder, to me that sounds like an overbearing relationship because in no way, shape or form, because I have been through it with my dad and then on the other side with Will's mom, I know what that situation in dynamic looked like and there were very unhealthy aspects of that. So I would not, because of what I know

and what I have experienced, I would never wanna put my child in that situation. Right, and I also just, I guess I can't get past the whole, like I don't- Was she a single mom, do we know? I don't know if she was a single mom, but I do know that he, so he said this, right? I can't get past the part where

it's not like you just didn't get in a relation, long-term committed relationships. You were in a full on, over 10 years, around 15 year relationship and had two kids with someone. That is essentially a marriage. You are essentially in a committed relationship the same way you would be with a wife and a family. The math is not mapping.

Right? And so then take that a step further. How did you explain that to your partner? How did you look at your long-term partner, the mother of your two children, and say, I can't marry you because, or I don't want to marry you because my mom might be jealous. How do you explain that to a partner who may think that marriage is in your future, especially if you have two kids together?

I mean, I guess I would have a lot of questions as that partner. I would question why I had two kids with that person at that point. Well, I'm still trying to understand. You're like, I'll get the house. I'll be in the committed relationship. I'll have two children. We'll be together over 10 years, but I can't marry you because my mom might get jealous. Do we think he said this for headlines? Because it's just not... I mean, no, because I just don't think that anybody would go out there and say something

that wild. I mean, yes, there are people that will go out and say shit for headlines for sure, but no, I don't think that's the case. I think it's probably genuine and honest, which is truly scary. And if I was his partner, number one, I would question, I guess, why I'd been with that person for so long and we still had not taken that step if that was something that I wanted or was pushing for. I'm not gonna stay in something for 15 years to wait on somebody to decide,

okay, I wanna marry you or I don't. Either shit or get off the pot. Okay, and then take it a step back and say, okay, this man comes to me and says he never wants to get married because he doesn't wanna make his mom jealous. Would you continue the relationship? No.

Imagine because you love your partner differently than your mother loves you. It's just a different type of love. Like I said, the jealousy and time spent makes sense to me, right? But that's just also a part of life. But your mom's not fucking you, or at least you shouldn't be well, so I can just give you a personal example when Will and I were in college and We moved in together. He's the middle child of three boys and His mom was absolutely Not having it and when he asked me to walk with the family on his senior day For the baseball team his mom didn't want that either. And so it rubbed me very much the wrong way because it felt like,

okay, you're being a nuisance in this relationship and in no way am I taking any maternal place with your child. But I do think because he was the first one that had ever gone through like a serious relationship and was doing those things, it was a first for her. So I'm gonna defend her on that because she obviously learned lessons through that because then when his brother got into a serious relationship, all the same things that were of concern when we did it

no longer were of concern because she had walked through it. I do think that mothers with sons have a lot harder of a problem letting go, just like dads have a hard problem letting go with their daughters. I don't think that dads struggle with daughters the same way. My dad did.

Really? Oh yeah. I've never seen that. I've never the same way. My dad did. Really? Oh, yeah. I've never seen that. I've never seen... I hear about them, oh, you hurt my daughter, I'll hurt you kind of thing. I've seen that, but I haven't seen it the same way that mothers of sons... We've talked about this before, really toxic mothers of sons specifically. I don't see that same dynamic with dads and daughters or mothers and daughters.

I'm not saying that they're not protective of their daughters. That's not what I'm saying. But the toxicity and the jealousy aspect, like I've never heard of a dad getting upset because a daughter is in a relationship. Cause that would be even weirder, like tenfold. Oh, my dad absolutely was. Like he was not supportive of that situation whatsoever.

And again, because being the oldest child and also oldest girl, I think he very much struggled with that. It was kind of like losing, or maybe he felt like he was losing a piece of me, but that piece of me never belonged to him. And that's why I tell people all the time like don't try to take pieces of your kids that never belong to you because To your point when you're saying the dynamic and the makeup of the relationship is very different It is very much different Right and there are pieces of my child that I know when he does get into a relationship

That piece of him never belonged to me anyway. And the best thing that you can do is to try to foster a relationship with that person that they are choosing. And then you get to eat your cake and have it too. Right, that's really interesting. I'd be curious to see what other people have experienced with their mother-in-laws and,

or truly with their partner who has an obsession with their mother-in-laws or truly with their partner who has an obsession with their mother. So using the internet without ExpressVPN is like not paying attention to the safety demonstration on a flight. And most of the time you'll probably be fine, but what if one day that weird yellow mask drops from the overhead and you have no idea what to do?

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Next thing that I want to talk about is this article that I saw on parents.com about peer pressure influencing children. First question that I have for you is have you had any child that you feel has been in an extreme peer pressured situation? Not yet. Not yet. Do you feel that any of your children were born more natural leaders than others? Yes, 1000%.

And does that change the dynamic with their friendships? Like the children that you have that you feel are more natural leaders, do their friendships look very different than your children who are followers? So I actually don't think I have any followers. I don't think that they're all natural born leaders, but I don't, I don't, the three oldest, I'm not gonna say who just for privacy reasons, not because I'm trying to like Easter egg you guys,

but just to protect them. Two of them, specifically now, not talking about the past, are not gonna conform to peer pressure, but they're also not leaders. They are their own person that will make their own decisions. I think that's really interesting that you brought this up because I do think there's three categories. I think that there are some that can be peer pressured and I think there are some that they'll say no and have no problem. And then there are natural born leaders that can go one of two ways. They can lead to poor decisions amongst their peers, or they can lead in a way that is really positive. And I think my one son specifically is really leading in a positive

way. And I hope that that doesn't, I hope that doesn't go the other way at any point. The child that would be the hardest to raise, in my opinion, would be a child who was a natural born leader, but chose the wrong choices. Correct. 1000%. And I thought about that on my drive this morning based on something that happened in my car. And I agree with you wholeheartedly because I'm like, his dad very much is like that.

And so he has other examples that are essentially leading by example and not necessarily in a good way. And I'm not saying that I'm perfect and I'm not saying that I'm a natural board leader because I'm not. But I will say that if he's going to follow in his father's footsteps, I'm highly concerned. So in this article, it was talking about how people commonly think of peer pressure in a negative light, but in reality, it's not always a bad thing.

Sometimes peer pressure is used to positively influence people, such as when teens work towards common goals, such as doing well in school, helping out in a community, and learning about acceptable group norms that can be a positive part of learning and how to live and socialize with others.

And it goes into, so this article is broken up learning and how to live and socialize with others. This article is broken up into signs of peer pressure, types of peer pressure, how it impacts kids, and tips for helping kids cope. I did not realize that Jackson had been peer pressured until I read this article and I've seen some of these signs. Okay. But it says, peer pressure can range from subtle to overt, which means some forms of peer pressure can be easier to spot than others.

Identifying signs that your child is dealing with peer pressure may help you start a supportive conversation. Some of these signs that your child may be experiencing peer pressure include avoiding school or other social situations, being very image conscious, changes in behavior, expressing feeling like they don't fit in, low moods including anxiety and depression, making social comparisons, having trouble sleeping, or trying out new hair or clothing styles. And while I did not realize that some of those were signs of peer pressure, some of those I had identified as like parts of growing up.

Interesting. I also thought, but you know what? Do we have to label that as parts as peer pressure? I mean, I don't think it's intentional, right? Like peer pressure for me more so would be like the Stanley thing, right? Like the kids that are bullying you because it's not a real Stanley. Somebody sent my son a Stanley dupe and he didn't want to use it. Like he was like- Because it wasn't name brand.

Correct. That to me is more peer pressure. I don't necessarily feel like, I don't know that I agree with the hairstyles and clothes thing until it gets, until it crosses a line. Because, right? Like I just saw a TikTok about like, the more grandma or grandpa you're looking right now, the more trendy it is for like the cool mom aesthetic. So like I got on my like ankle socks and you know, my linen shorts and I'm trying to do like the cool mom grandma aesthetic.

I don't necessarily think that's bullying. I like that. But also there are people who might not like that and might not grandma aesthetic. I don't necessarily think that's bullying. I like that. But also there are people who might not like that and might not do it. I wouldn't consider that peer pressure. Do you? I mean, I think that society and social groups

that you are conforming to, there is some type of, whether it be peer pressure or social pressure, I do think that that is a real thing. Like, Jackson, I told you many moons ago that I used to could lay his clothes out for him and he never gave a shit. Like it does not matter what brand it is. This could be Walmart shorts. This could be literally Nike Under Armour. It does not matter. Not until this school year did he really start wanting to put out his own outfits. Nothing matched, but it matched to him.

Specific types of socks, requesting specific types of shoes. And you think that's peer pressure? I think it's because that's what all the other kids at school are wearing. And so he wants to wear and be like everybody else or what he's seeing on TikTok or what he's seeing on YouTube. I think those are all pressures. Are you, but are you participating in that too? I would say not necessarily because I feel like I, there is not one person that I see, let's say like an influencer on Instagram. There's

not one person that I would buy an outfit because they have it. But you post links for other people to buy because you have it. Yeah, because people ask for it. But it's not gonna. So we're participating in it too. Then that's why I just don't think it's I don't see it as bullying, right? Like, I have a friend who wears the coolest fucking outfits, right? Like she does not conform to any sort of society. Like she's her own thing, right?

Like she would be an example for me of someone who's not participating on either end because she just wears like the cool stuff. It doesn't matter if it's in style, in trend, whatever. But then for me, like, I feel like I, if I see somebody else wearing something, I don't get it because they're saying that that's what's cool. It's because I like it. And I think it's cool too. Not because it's like, they're saying it's cool. So it's cool. It's like,

oh, I like that. That's really cool. Does that make, am I making sense? Yeah. But like, I take this all the way back to the conversation that we've had many a times about the jelly shoes and me being the first girl that had jelly shoes at my school. And like I also didn't like that people got them after me. And like I would raise a stink about it. And it's like, I was cool before you were doing this cool thing. What do you mean? I didn't want people to follow me and do it, even though this shit was bought at Payless and everybody could have it. It wasn't like these were custom made shoes in my mind.

I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Yeah. And Jackson's a little bit like that too at his school, but he'll go and like see somebody on TikTok, like a grown person and be like, Oh, they have these shoes. So like, I need these shoes. And he associates that shoe with that person. Okay, okay.

Linking. I mean, yeah, linking got these. He asked me to buy him a pair of New Balances. So I had gotten him these New Balances. Oh, I'll post the link or whatever. I think they're cool. I would wear them. And he went to school and he came home. He's like, mom, everyone really liked my shoes.

And I was like, oh cool. Like that's that's cool. I don't know. Where did he see the new balances? I feel like all over social media. He had to have gotten it somewhere. Maybe he was the first one at his school to get them, but he wasn't the first person to wear them.

Yeah. I don't know if he's like, I don't know. It's such a weird, cause I do feel like, it almost feels like part of me is like agreeing, but then other parts of me is like, we don't have to label this as like peer pressure or bullying, I think until it crosses that line, like the Stanley thing, you know what I mean?

Well, so two days ago, Will had this conversation with Jackson. He was like, we're cutting your hair off for summer. Like it's gotten way too long. It's way too thick. It's way out of control. And you need to look like a respectable member of society. Okay.

I don't really have a problem with his hair, whatever way that he wants to wear it, as long as it's clean. I don't want it doing the cover in the eyes thing and if it's got that little flip at the bottom when he's wearing a baseball cap, I don't really care about that. Will cares way more about that than I do. This was Jackson's response. I don't want to shave my head for summer because people will make fun of me. Not because he doesn't like it, but because people will make fun of me. So then I have a private conversation with Will and I'm

like, Okay, he's never really had a shaved head at school. So like, where would he have been made fun of for this? Or is somebody else up at the school that has shaped their head and then got made fun of? It could, maybe, and maybe none. Maybe it's just that like, he, the confidence is like, I don't feel confident in this. They'll make, like, they may make fun of me

because I feel like trying new things, whether it's a haircut, a hairstyle, an outfit, nobody's ever made fun of me for it, but I feel like they might make fun of me if I try this kind of thing. That makes sense. That makes sense. And I'm like that as an adult as well.

I think it's more of like the confidence level and my kids are the same way. They don't want to do anything that they're unsure of. And I'm the same way, so I can't even get mad, but the same kind of thing. Like I'm nervous to try new things or to do certain things or to stand on business because of the possibility of being made fun of

when that wasn't what I, you get what I mean? Well, but at the end of the day, and I always say this to Jackson, like if you like it, it doesn't matter who else likes it. Like I don't have to like it, your dad doesn't have to like it, we don't have to like it. Your dad doesn't have to like it. We don't have to love any part of this, but if you like it, then you like it and don't worry about what other people say.

It's just easier said than done because even adults are the same way. I think it goes back to personality type too. Agreed. Agreed. Wholeheartedly agree with that. Isaac has always been a little more apprehensive of my kids, like to do things. And, um, he has these, he has the ideas and he wants to do them, but the, the personality and the confidence will determine whether he's going to act on whatever it is

that he's wanting to do. So I think that Jackson and Isaac are similar in that way. Probably so. And so Will called me this morning and he was like, what are we gonna do about this hair situation? Because I don't want you raise immortal hell if I go and buzz his hair off. And I'm like, well, I don't really know what to say because if Will hates it and I don't care about it, and Jackson doesn't want it buzzed, what do

you do? In my opinion, you don't buzz it. I would agree. I would tend to agree. I would maybe trim it, but you don't want to traumatize him over a haircut that he never wanted. Well, exactly right. Will's like, well, he needs to learn to try new things and not just be so stuck in one

way, which I also understand that too. Like be adventurous. Like you don't have just because you're comfortable with that doesn't mean that you have to stay there. Agreed. Um, what about just like a shorter cut? That's not a buzz. No, he just doesn't want to cut.

Okay. Yeah. We just don't want to do haircuts around here. Uh, but I'm going to post this link to this article because I think for any parent who is raising children right now, it's very informative. It talks about how it impacts children, tips for helping kids cope with peer pressure. So I just thought it was a very great resource. Thanks to Neurex for sponsoring this podcast.

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here. Go to neurex.com slash coffee to get started. That's N-U-R-X dot com slash C-O-F-F-E-E. Results may vary, not offered in every state, medications prescribed only if clinically appropriate, consultation required. I have a first world problem. I understand that this is first world, so anyone before y'all get triggered and up in arms about it, please just be kind because I understand that, again, not everyone has this problem, quote problem. Um, so lots of kids, lots of schedules, lots of different ages, all the things you're a Disney mom, Disney, girly, you love to go to Disney with Jackson. I'm struggling with the timing and taking my kids to Disney because myself, I have

not taken any of my kids to Disney since Lincoln was like one or two, right? So we're talking eight years. Javi and Joe have taken the kids to Disney. So I haven't, I, why am I going to take them again? They already want their dad. They don't, I don't need to do that whole thing. I also don't love Disney. Lux and Creed, however, are at the age where I feel like this is a really good time for them to go. They've been asking to go. And initially I was not gonna take Isaac and Lincoln because they had gone so many times. And I was just like, would like to spend quality time with Lux and Creed.

Okay, so try to follow the bouncing ball here. Upon further thinking, I want Lux and Creed to experience it with their brothers. I feel like that would be a really fun experience now that they're all at the ages that they're at. And so I'm like, okay, I'll plan for them to come too. So it'd be me and the four of them. This is where it gets tricky. We do not have childcare that helps us in the same way that we used to. So we do not have an overnight nanny. We do not have an overnight babysitter. We do not have a weekend babysitter and we don't

have a nighttime babysitter. We strictly have childcare during working hours, Monday through Friday, that is it. So Elijah's mom still works full time. So it's not like she could potentially be an option maybe, but I hate to like ask her to take off work to take care of the three little ones. They are not at an age where I feel comfortable bringing them for several reasons.

One, spending the money for them to potentially hinder the other kids' experience does not make sense to me. Taking them with and bringing a babysitter with us also doesn't make sense to me because it seems like a lot of extra stuff for them to not fully go enjoy the parks and again, hinder the experience of my other kids. Okay? So, Kristen came up with the option for maybe our daytime child care during the week and Elijah's mom to do nights so we could go for a couple days, like four or five, not even a full week. That was option one. Option two, I had suggested maybe Elijah stays back for half the trip and comes for half the trip because the other part of this is that I don't love leaving Elijah out of things, right? Like obviously I need one-on-one time with my kids.

I got that when we went to Mexico, but I also want Elijah to be a part of it, especially because my kids do love him. And so I hate to see him being left out of things and until the babies are old enough to go, what is the alternative? And so I was trying to figure out, and it's expensive, so I want to plan accordingly. And then the third option would be, you know, maybe paying Elijah's mom if she does take off of work. People shouldn't necessarily have to pay the grandmothers to be there. But the reason why I say that is because she would be taking off her regular job. So that's not really fair to be like, Hey, can you come watch our, can you come

take off of work, not get paid, watch our kids and then go back to work as soon as we're like, I just don't love that either. And so I thought maybe a solution would be at least to pay the daytime, maybe not at night, but like the daytime hours. What do you, what are your thoughts here? Like, what would you do in this situation? Okay, so this might be unpopular opinion and you might not like this one.

Two of the boys of the four have been multiple times. Is it even an option at this point to just take Lux and Creed? So yes, it is, but I feel like they would have a more fun time with their brothers. Like, I think they'll have fun regardless, but I think just having them there is like, I never grew up with siblings and there was nothing I wanted more in life than having siblings. And so I just feel like this might be the one and only because we were hoping to go

this year or possibly next year if we have to wait another year. This might be the only time that they go, the four of them. The next time we go, Lux and Creed will be going with their little siblings. Isaac and Lincoln will be entirely too old, I think, or they'll be in college or high school, whatever, where they're not really interested in going to Disney. So this might be the only time that they get to go with Isaac and Lincoln. The only reason that I'm asking that is cause I know that you're being super budget conscious

with planning out these trips. You talked about that on episodes before. So obviously taking four versus two, you're gonna have to have multiple rooms. So that's gonna change a little bit. I also would highly recommend saving for the guide through the park because you get to basically ride everything multiple times in the day and so your money is better spent in my opinion if you save for that to be

able to do it and I think it allows for up to seven people underneath the guide, like the one guide. So I think that would be super helpful for y'all, just especially with like the babies. Like I still call Lux and Creed babies, but within being so little, if it's hot, nobody wants to stand in lines that long, not saying that we can't do it. But if you could save for that, I think that would be super helpful. I think the idea of Elijah's mom maybe just vetting that situation and asking if that's even an option,

because then you can eliminate that one altogether if it's not. And then that answers the question if Elijah is gonna go for the full trip or just half of the trip. Cause I also think that maybe him coming for half would be a solution. My kids love him.

Literally when we have to divide and conquer, they are like, why isn't Elijah coming? Is Elijah coming? Like they wanna, you know? And so I feel like at least if he came for half the trip, he's not excluded and then they get to have those memories too without the, I'm just, what is the solution? I think this is the only time they'll be able to go with Isaac and Lincoln.

I don't think that Isaac and Lincoln will be interested by the time we go again. Cause I think the next time we go again will be probably when the twins are five. So the next, so five years from now, Isaac will be. You also need to remember too, that the rides that Lux and Creed are going to be able to ride are not going to be the same ones that Isaac and Lincoln can ride. So are you guys also going to be divided in the park? That's another question. So if it's going to be a divide anyway, I would really look into all of those

factors before taking all four of them. How do you feel about going to Disney? Do you want to go? He just brought me in a lot. Or you don't care either way. He said it doesn't matter to him. It matters to me. Has he ever been?

Have you ever been to Disney? You have, how many times? Twice. Twice. I think that it should be a family trip with you and Lux and Creed and Elijah because the big boys, it's going to look like this. One of y'all are going to be with the big ones and one of y'all are going to be with the small ones because they're not going to be interested in riding the same

rides and some of the rides, the little ones aren't even going to be eligible to ride. So that's naturally going to put you in a different part of the park anyway. He's shaking his head. But that might be cool too. It's like two separate trips combined in one where the big kids get to bond with Elijah. I get to spend time with just Lux and Creed. And then we come together for, you know, maybe we go to Universal together, which is a little bit different than Disney. Because with the littles, you're going to want to do like the character experiences, the character meals.

He laughed. He's like, he doesn't care about that, but the kids do. They love that. The character meals, which the big boys probably won't even care about that. They would probably be more interested in going to like Epcot. That's what Lincoln said. That's where he wants to go. Yeah. And there's not, if anything, nothing for the littles to do over at that park. So that's going to put you in two different parks in one day. This is true. And then you can't split your guides. So then who's getting the guide?

The little kids, the middle. You're like, I don't care. I'm taking the littles with the guide. One of my girlfriends told me that if you go around the end of Halloween and you stay overnight into November 1st, you get all of Halloween and then immediately upon your wake up on November 1st, they switch it to Christmas. So you get both experiences. So then that was the other part of it was like, okay, I definitely want to do that. So we get two experiences in one. However, my twins wanted to be born on a specific day that would make it very difficult for me to

leave to be able to catch Halloween and then would make it very difficult for me to leave to be able to catch Halloween and then Christmas. So I would either have to leave on their birthday or the very next day. So that was the other thing that I was like, you listen, life be life and for you, honey. I'm like, we have one child birthday to celebrate. So never an issue. but that is true. They do, and you know, I'm not a big Halloween person at all, but it is a cool experience to be in there during Halloween just to see all of the decorations. Also Disney trees, I'm pretty sure they are considered the largest Christmas trees in the world. Oh.

It is absolutely beautiful and just such a time to be in the park. I love going at that time of year. I have not been to Disney since I ran the half marathon in 2018. So God knows I couldn't even walk that now. Um, okay, well, I would love to hear suggestions from other people. Let us know what you do in Disney. I definitely am going to look into the guide. So send me the information if you can. Yes, I will.

That to me is the way to go. And if you go with a group of people for anybody who's listening, I know this doesn't apply for Kale, but for anybody who is going with a group, you can also, I think it's up to seven people for the guide and you pay one fee, but if it's multiple families going, you guys can split the fee

and you all still have access to the guide. And it's very nice because you basically get to go to the front of the line for all of the rides. They help you with the character experiences. They help you with your reservations for your meals. If your kids want like an ice cream pop but you want to be standing in line for the ride, They help you with your reservations for your meals. If your kids want like an ice cream pop, but you want to be standing in line for the ride, they'll get you in line for the ride and then go and get the ice creams and have them ready

when you come off the ride. I love that. Coffee Combo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Hey, Kitty Gang, whether you love true crime or comedies, celebrity interviews, news, or even motivational speakers, you call the shots on or comedies, celebrity interviews, news, or even motivational speakers, you call the shots on what's in your podcast queue, right? And guess what? Now you can call the shots on your auto insurance too.

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No. Yeah. So it says, a flight from Texas to Japan had to be canceled after the flight's captain became intoxicated and engaged in disorderly behavior at the hotel where they and other crew members were staying, Japan Airlines said. They did not identify who the captain was, which is not really that important, but it said that the captain's behavior at the hotel

was not specified, but it was described as causing an inconvenience to other guests and hotel staff. The captain received a verbal warning from a police at the hotel's request, and the pilot was assessed, and it was determined that the captain should not be assigned to the return flight to Dallas-Fort Worth to Tokyo. The airline says that the captain did not have a detectable blood alcohol level

at the scheduled departure for the time of flight, but it was decided that the captain should not fly out of the necessity to confirm the physical and mental condition of our operating crew. So I'm basically assuming that they identified that he probably had a hangover. I'm speechless. Okay. So did they find somebody to be able to do the flight then that quickly? Um, I'm going to assume so, but

or canceled. Um, well, no, it says the customers who had seats on the canceled flight were told the cancellation was because of health issues among the crew. Alternative flights were arranged for passengers. I'm just saying, listen, we're all human. But if I knew that I was flying a flight to Tokyo from Dallas, Fort Worth, I wouldn't be out at the hotel bar doing any of that stuff. I should be sleeping.

So to me, that is just like a negligent behavior. It's hard because it's one of those things where I, certain professions are just held to a higher standard and the person that's in charge of a flight to Tokyo is one of those people that I'm going to hold at a higher regard. It's kind of like the same conversation that we had about the teacher coming to school drunk, right? Right. Like you just can't be doing that when you are responsible for other people's wellbeing. Yeah. And I mean, think about how many families and like people's lives are at risk based off of your

risky behavior. I would be appalled if I found out that I knew that the pilot that was flying me was hungover. I'd be really upset if I found that out. Right. Really upset. Yeah. Because I think if you're hungover, there's still, I mean, I don't know what the like levels would be, but it's still concerning because if you're not feeling 100% and you're in charge of my flight for 10 plus hours, that is highly concerning.

And my kids are on it possibly? Yeah, no. No, I mean, I think- Like I think I'm out on that. So I wonder if it got delayed because you have to find somebody who'd be capable enough to do it. No, they said they canceled the flight and then issued alternative flights for

the passengers. Oh, that flight never went out. I mean, it sucks for the people who paid for that, but also the alternative would have been to have this person in charge of your well-being for the for the entirety of the flight. So I would love to know anybody who's listening to this because he did not have detectable blood alcohol levels. Would you have chosen the option to keep the flight and for him to fly essentially hungover you from Dallas, Fort Worth to Tokyo? Or would you rather get alternative options

to get you to the same location? For me, alternative locations, because I have been not hungover and just in a weird mood, just not feeling myself and not made the best decisions. So I'm more likely to make a knee-jerk reaction when I'm not in the right state of mind than I would be if I was on my A game.

So for me in that case, I would say alternative options. Agreed. That is exactly what I'm choosing. And on that note, foul play. I can't believe I actually have a foul play for you. I love you ladies so much. You make my week with all of your shows. This is legit foul and I cannot believe I'm sharing this.

I was hooking up with my on again, off again person while it was getting very hot and heavy and I was so wet I could smell something. Uh oh. Terrible. We both hurried to finish because I was getting embarrassed of the smell. We finally got done and went to clean up and there was blood everywhere, like a murder scene.

I was incredibly embarrassed. We cleaned up and I was like, why is there scene. I was incredibly embarrassed. We cleaned up and I was like, why is there so much blood? I figured I got my period and brushed it off. The next day I was using the bathroom and smelled that foul smell again. And then it fricking hit me. I left my desk in from the last time I got my period. I freaked out and tried to get it out, but I couldn't. I tried everything and finally came out and the smell was horrible. I legit thought I was going to die. When I went to the doctor the next day and got checked out, I was perfectly fine. Just a strong antibiotic for BV and that hold up. I went to the doctor

the next day and got checked out and I was perfectly fine. Just a strong antibiotic for BV from that being in me for nearly three weeks. Needless to say, when my buddy asked if everything checked out, okay, I said yes, I got my period. Like I thought it must have been a bad one. And that was the smell. Boys are stupid. And he was just glad I was fine. But damn, that was so foul and the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you ladies for making my weeks love you both. That sounds like my tampon story. It was horrible. It was absolutely fucking foul.

The one where you forgot that it was in there? How long was your tampon in there? Who the fuck knows? I'll tell you what though, when I went to Mexico and I was having those period problems not that long ago, I accidentally put a second one in and when I went to go take that one out because I didn't know I had one in, two came out and I was like, wow, what the fuck is going on? What?

Yeah. And I was wondering why it hurt to put, when I went to go put one in, it's like, wow, what the fuck is going on? What? Yeah, and I was wondering why it hurt to put the, when I went to go put one in, it's like, why is it so, like it hurts to put it in, like what's going on? Because there was already one in there. Okay, so this mentral disc thing, it's the one where it like traps your period blood, right? So that would be three week old,

from what I'm understanding, three week old trapped period blood just marinating. Hold on, I need to see what this looks like because I don't, so a menstrual disc is similar to a menstrual cup maybe. Oh, these are disposable. Okay, so like a diva cup is more of like a silicone vibe. This is like a bag sort of, like it's like a disc with like a little bag, like a little vibe. This is like a bag sort of like it's

like a disc with like a little bag like a little catcher. But it's just like stagnant blood sitting there for three weeks, right? Right. So it's not you imagine the smell? No, because I don't know what stagnant like a pool of stagnant blood smells like, and I honestly don't know of any person that I've ever been with that would possibly smell something like that and then just like continue going. Really?

Men are disgusting. Evidently not the ones that I've been with because I can just tell you confidently that no, they'd be like, what the fuck is that? Didn't I tell you about my ex who was obsessed with my period blood? Did I tell you this? Yeah, but I forget who it was. As you should, but I make myself up. Um, men are foul. They're disgusting. No. Oh yeah. I was going to say that one next. Sorry guys. That would just be very insensitive

for us to tell you who it was. I wish I could though. That would be fantastic. I don't know. I think that I would be very freaked out and no shit that would cause BB. If I was a guy... Wait, how do you even get your dick up there if there's a cup up there? How big is this cup? So I think it probably moved if the disk was like this, and then something was inserted, I feel like it would. Wouldn't you feel it hitting though? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Even if you push it out of the way you had to have felt that right because even like to make it budge so we're like talking that couldn't have been comfortable right but also I mean I had sex with a with a tampon in and so I I feel but I will say I know people I had sex with a tampon in, and so I feel... But I will say, I know people who have sex with... They purposely put a tampon in during their period to have sex. Wait, what? Yes.

I have read threads online about people putting tampons in before they start having sex so that they don't bleed on somebody else. I don't know that that seems very sanitary, honestly. Can we talk about something really quick? Because I'm having a problem right now, right? Like, I have my tubes tied and so like I can't get pregnant, right? But here's the problem that I'm having, the conflict, if you will. Can't get pregnant, great, fantastic. You could blow a load inside me, doesn't really matter. But here's the thing, I don't want to clean up that mess and I don't wanna be dripping for the next 24 hours.

So what is the solution? Condoms, because yeah, that's great and all, but we're monogamous, we're committed, we're in a partnership where we are not with other people. And also I know that people are gonna be pissed off when I say this, but they dry me up. So they're not uncomfortable for me necessarily, or they like don't feel different,

but I do dry up quicker. Like my natural fluids dry up quicker when we use condoms. So what is the fucking solution to that? I have a couple of questions. So you feel like it's a bigger mess than like come on the tummy No, I think that's way better than inside me because when it's even you When they don't pull out it's you're dripping for hours

If not an entire day is that just dependent on the person like does that happen to everybody? You don't feel like you drip for for like like hours everybody. You don't feel like you drip for for like, like hours? Uh huh. Really? No. Like do you pee right after you have sex? Yeah, absolutely. And then it's still drips? Yeah. Okay, I would love to know from anyone listening if it's if that's like more of the common thing or not. Kristin told me about these sponge sticks. But like I also feel like why is it, why do I need to buy products to put in places?

Men don't have any of these problems. I also feel like if I regularly let him not pull out, there has to be a, like I would probably develop a smell at some point or something, right? Because it's like just like constantly going in there and like constantly having to cleanse itself like you get what I'm saying like I just feel like that's like a bigger that's why you need to get the um what's that brand I think it's called like love or something you can buy them at target and they're like vaginal suppositories but like what do you do you would put it in there like once a week or what?

Yeah, yeah. Just clears y'all on out. So I just don't let him, I told him like you have to pull out every time, but we're both fixed, that sucks. You know what I mean? I know, that absolutely sucks. Wait, Elijah got a vasectomy too?

Mm-hmm, yeah. And he regrets it. Why? He wants another baby. As if y'all don't have enough. And you know what's crazy is that I kept saying, I told everyone, Kristin included, I said, after these babies, I'm gonna want to give Valley a sister. That is something I never had and I always wanted specifically, a sister for my girl, right? Like a sister, a sister, a sister.

Elijah came from a family of two boys and two girls. And so he got the vasectomy and then shortly thereafter, I think he is, I don't think regret is the right word because they think we're happy either way. We both were like, wow, like Valley will never have a sister and I kind of felt that way too, when I thought it was like more like coming to terms with the fact that I'll never have another baby and like, I'm okay either way. He is actively like upset.

That makes me so sad for you guys. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. So are you all in the regret phase? I'm in a place where I could go either, like, I would be fine with like adoption or foster like for a little girl for Valley You know what I mean? Like I would be open to that. I would be open to I was listening to a Book the other day I think and they were talking about Like the orphanages in another country and I was like well that would be a way to Kind of have the best of both worlds where

you give someone a home that needs one. And also I don't have to go through this entire process. So I think it's very selfish if I'm like, oh yeah, let's just like go through IVF and I'll just like have another baby. Like, I feel like that's a little bit crazy after having seven kids, but I'm open minded, I guess. But I think he does have some regrets. That makes me so sad.

Tell Hot Neighbor that I'm praying for him and it'll all work out how it's supposed to. Last foul play and then we got to get the fuck off of here. Hi, Kale and Lindsay. Longtime listener here and I'm not sure whether I'm hoping my story gets read or not because it's funny but embarrassing. When I just started dating my then boyfriend, now husband, he would want to hang out all night. I would get so nervous it would make me super gassy, so I would internally beg to go home. One night I was so gassy that I literally had to go into the bathroom and fart because my stomach started to cramp making crazy noises. So while I was in the bathroom, I figured out a way to muffle a

fart. You basically put a tissue on your butthole and the fart is silenced perfectly worked and works like a charm. Try this method if you're ever in a gassy situation. Love the podcast and you girls you're doing amazing sweetiesies. At what point do you figure out that you put a tissue over your butthole? No, because one of my best girlfriends told me this years ago. Wait, what, you've heard of this before?

Yes, she told me this, her ex-fiance, when they were getting really chummy and he would stay the night and stuff, she discovered this and told me. I've never needed to do it, but it's very helpful to know. But what does it do? It doesn't absorb the smell, it just absorbs the sound? I'm not entirely sure about sound waves and the speed of light. I don't know. It's kind of like when you snap your finger, like at what point is it

making the sound, right? Like when it smacks your hand after or like upon friction. So same thing with a fart. Like we don't really know. We just know that the two, the toilet paper works. You know, it's just like a hack. Isn't that so interesting when people like get into new relationships, myself included. And it's like, you've never like farted around each other or done anything that's like gross.

And then all of a sudden it turns from that to like, it's fine. Yeah, I still haven't farted around Elisha. I don't think that that's, I'm just also not super gassy. So I haven't had that issue, but there's just something about like, I just can't bring myself to do it I mean, it's just like a really it's a really weird thing and it's just like what are you gonna do just like? Blow a fart when you're walking through the kitchen and just like be fine with it

I mean there are people out there that are like I've seen this on Instagram where people have answered questions Like yes, we fart in front of each other We've always farted in front of each other and it's like at what point did you become comfortable that you answered questions like, yes, we fart in front of each other. We've always farted in front of each other. And it's like, at what point did you become comfortable that you're just like, okay, I'm going to fart and whatever this smells like is what it smells like. Like, no, I just can't get behind it. It's like only accidents are acceptable. You know what I mean? Only shitting accidents are acceptable. On that note, thank you guys for always supporting

our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app following right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. Let me ask you a question. You have a best friend? How big would it shock you if somebody told you that your best friend just killed somebody?

On September 12, 1995, 12-year-old McKay Everett disappeared from his home in Conroe, Texas. It was a crime that shocked the community because the suspect was so unlikely, so unexpected. Former high-ranking police official, he'd run for sheriff at one point. Law enforcement personnel were pretty much split down the middle over whether or not he actually did this. And to this day, McKay's mother Paulette still feels that justice was never truly served. I've asked myself so many times,

what in the world happened? Ransom is available now. Listen at ransompodcast.com or wherever you get your podcasts.