Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Natural Consequences, Co-Parenting Guilt, and the Anxiety of Sharing

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

CC449: Kail and Lindsie dive deep into the often-chaotic reality of parenting, starting with the battle of the lost and found. They share their exasperation over kids constantly losing expensive items, from $65 Nike sweatshirts to water bottles, and how they've implemented "natural consequences" to cope. The conversation then shifts to the difficult logistics of blended families and co-parenting, Thank you to our sponsors!Aura: Visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code COFFEECONVOSBooking.com: Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today!Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Coffee at BranchBasics.com/CoffeeProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!Rocket Money: Cancel unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca.ca slash wondering. That's audible.com.com. This episode of CoffeeCombo's podcast is brought to you by booking.com. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's Billion with a B. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving. Receiving gifts. so weird what do you say thank you this is coffee convos with kale lowry and lindsay i really want you to be in your feels kale that does not interest me whatsoever i feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship family and life in the public eye i'm just not with the fakery anymore there's a fakery bakery around here here's kail and lindsay good morning kitty cat good morning what are we hydrating with you know what's so interesting to me is that you have a tiny essential normally i have the big ones i know and you don't

drink them so i'm like let me see if i'll drink a full i normally won't drink water unless i have a stanley this is what you need a man for to get into a tiny gatorade i refused i refused to buy the large gatorades because they will be six or seven half drank gatorades in my house and nothing taps my ass more than to see like waste and then you don't know who it belongs to so then you throw it away so no we just do like the mini i've spilled this like everywhere if you are a gatorade drinker i like the gatorade zero's the best flavor don't come for me it's the apple burst i've never had that flavor i'm not a gatorade girly we don't really buy gatorade but to your point about the half drinking half drunk stuff um if it's water at our house

because I get like the 16 ounce water bottles, like Deer Park or whatever, if I don't know who it belongs to, we either put it in the dog bowl of water or I'll put it in my plants because Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, because like I don't want it to go to waste, but I'm not drinking off of, I don't know what friends it belongs to, which kid backwashed of my own child, children. Like, it's just not, I'm not doing it. So I either put it in the dog bowl or plants. I learned my lesson about putting half drink Gatorade's and the rest of it.

refrigerator because Jackson and I like the same flavor. So I did this one time and I was recording for the Southern tea and I go to drink it. Hits my throat and there's a floaty. No. And it did not belong to me. Like I don't backwash. How many people have kids that like put the whole thing in their mouth like this? Creed literally just did that last night and I was like, what in the actual fuck? Like that's how you drink. Um, If for whatever reason the kids don't use, because we are big reusable water bottle people. Like we have tons of Stanlies, tons of water bottles, like fill it up at the fridge. Like I don't buy cases of water like I used to.

I used to buy them way more often. But we're big reusable water bottle. If for whatever reason we are not using a reusable water bottle on a given day, I peel the label off of the, like if it's Deer Park or like a store brand water bottle, I peel the label off so they know. that when they go to their game or their sports practice that the one without the label is theirs because other people might have the same water bottle. So I always just peel it off. Okay. I need to get into a big conversation about kids losing stuff.

Do you have any children that lose everything that they own? All of them. I was not a kid like that. Like I kept up with my stuff. I would have been afraid to like not come home with what I went to school with. And I don't know if that's like 90s kids and we were just raised. like that. I mean, we weren't getting like six sweatshirts beginning of the year. It was like, no, you got like a gap sweatshirt and that's what you wore. Right. So if you lost it, then you don't

have a sweatshirt. Okay. I am a big Dick's sporting goods purchaser. Same. Dick's sporting goods loves to see me coming. Okay. Yep. Jackson is very specific. He wants very plain clothes, but he wants Nike. Nike sweatshirts are $60 or $65 a pop. Okay? I went upstairs to take inventory on his closet after I realized that we were down to like two sweatshirts. Um, well, Kristen said, we need to film y'all going into Dix for a hole together. Like, yes, we should.

We're down to two or three sweatshirts in the closet. And I'm like, I know that I've spent hundreds of dollars on sweatshirts. So I immediately call Will and I'm like, stop hoarding my sweatshirts and give them back. He's like, I literally have one pink Nike sweatshirt over here. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Please tell me why we leave the house with a sweatshirt every single day, a Nike sweatshirt, $60 or $65. And in one given week, we have not come home with sweatshirts on four days. we have lost a lunchbox somewhere between getting out at the school and getting off the bus.

I am also sick and tired of buying water bottles that do not come home either. So I now am buying tiny water bottles and he's going to school with tiny water bottles because if you can't keep up with your shit, if you think that I'm, number one, you're going to go to school cold. natural consequence number two you're going to go to school with this much water to drink all day because if you think i'm fucking with you i'm not i just want to say that jackson and i have this in common i that jackson is me i am jackson my kids aren't losing stuff at school they're losing stuff at home like they're just we're home we don't know where lux's basketball jersey is we used it for the first game have no idea where it is it's gone it's in the abyss somewhere in the ether i don't

know. I can kind of understand that with seven children where like things would get misplaced or maybe like a little bit unorganized at the house and it might have possibly ended up in somebody else's room and you'll probably eventually find it. But there is absolutely no excuse in this household with one child why we're losing four sweatshirts in one week. No, that is diabolical. But to be fair, I'm going to play devil's advocate here, okay? Is it possible that other children at school, because Dick's sporting goods playing Nike check, that is literally Lincoln all day. I bought him two for his birthday in two different colors. Is it possible that other kids think that it's theirs and take it home and it really isn't Jackson's fault? Four different times in the same week.

No, nobody did that. And one of these sweatshirts specifically, was a, like, fanatics, like Panthers one. So that was probably like $75. So now I'm going broke, trying to keep you warm. Natural consequence is now you're getting a plain hoodie from Walmart. That is probably I could get paid for all five, four or five of them for the cost of one at Dick. So now that's what you're going to wear. Will said that Jackson loses so much stuff at his house that he is convinced that

if he, like, wouldn't get in trouble for not having a t-shirt on, that also would be missing. It's like, what are you doing at school? Like, Lux and Creed would go to school with no shirt on at all if they could. So to Will's point, Lux and Creed would walk around here naked if they could, not naked, but like in boxers and shorts or whatever. They've been, listen, I've been having to convince my children specifically Lux and Creed. they have been dying to wear shorts out of the house. It's 50 degrees outside, and they're trying to go to school with shorts on. So no, if you want to wear shorts, you've got to wear tights underneath, okay?

That's where we're at. That's so funny that you bring that up because I feel like boys want to wear shorts all year long. Like, it's a, and here's the thing. Like, I was with somebody for over a decade that also wore shorts all year long. But this was before it was like cool to wear the socks. like the high socks, just like straight up ashy legs, like shorts all year long. You'll see him in shorts in February, March, freezing outside. No, he's going to have like coverage on the top.

Yeah, but the legs are bare. But the legs are bare. If you think I'm arguing with you to put on a pair of pants, I'm not. So just wear the shorts. And if you want to look like a fool, getting out in carpool because you're wearing shorts. But the problem is, is like everybody else looks like a fool too because you're all doing it yeah they're all doing it so that's why i'm like i don't care but i just don't i mainly make them put on the tights and they'll sometimes they'll just come down the stairs with the tights under the

shorts but they want to wear the shorts and i'm like i don't what is this i don't feel like dealing with the dad you know what i mean like please do not text me about what my son is wearing school he's got a coat he's got a hat he's got gloves if he wants to wear shorts i'm not arguing like please get a grip but speaking of kids in school i need to tell you i fucked up okay so Lincoln is a great kid. He does not give me a hard time about pretty much anything. He has been coming home and asking me to check his homework before he submits it. Okay. Okay. And Javi and I have both emailed to school because the reading comprehension and some of the assignments, they're difficult. From fifth grade curriculum to sixth grade curriculum, it's pretty challenging. It is. It's a big jump. So

you know the teacher was like you know that's to be expected a lot of the kids are you know it's challenging for them it's supposed to you know be you know critical thinking and things like that great love that love to hear it i tell lincoln hey you know i know it's challenging right now if you need help with something you know feel free to ask me like i'm willing to help like i'm here to help yeah sounds good mom sounds good two times not once two times he's like hey can you you check this before I submit it? Yeah, no problem. Two times I got my kid failed. Okay. Oh my God. He has all of the quizzes filled out. There's a quiz for each of these things. It was two different assignments. The first one, I'm like, I don't think these are right. Like, I think you

need to go back and like change your answer. Okay. So he changes the answers that he already had and he failed. The original answers that he had were correct. The second time, I'm reading and I change the answers and I'm like, do you want to stick with your answer or do you want me to change what I think they are? And he's like, you can change what you think they are to what they, you think they are. He would have gotten an 80% and he got a 60 because I changed answers. You know, it's so interesting to me because when we were growing up, I feel like it wasn't common practice for parents to like help as much with homework and like school assignments. as maybe like a project, like a book report or something, but not like the daily school assignments. And now everything is online. So it's basically like grading it right there. I have had that actual same experience before. And I'm like, okay, I actually have no business being a part of this because I'm not in sixth grade. And I don't know how to do this. This is not like, this is not how it was taught this is i don't even know how to do this i don't even know what i'm looking

at okay if you are a gift giver like me you probably spend so much time thinking about what gifts you're going to get your loved ones during the holiday season i know that's something that i do and i really think that i found the perfect gift for a couple people so far this year and that is the aura frame and i'm so excited to gift this to some people on my list and just see their faces when they open it. The earlier that you order, the more time you have to curate your gift. So I have spent a lot of time figuring out which photos that I'm going to preload into everyone's aura frames that are getting one for me this year. And I'm having a ton of fun doing it, walking down memory lane, and it's honestly such a fun experience. And I'm really hoping everyone loves it. Orra frame is amazing.

It's also beautiful. They give you unlimited free photos and video. You just download the aura app and connect it to Wi-Fi. You could preload the photos before it ships so you can keep out. adding them from anywhere, anytime. They offer personalizations. You can add a message before it arrives. Makes sharing photos and videos effortless straight from your phone all year long. And they even include a gift box. So every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag, which is so helpful during the busy holiday season. You can't wrap togetherness, but you could definitely frame it. For a limited time, visitoraframes.com and get $45 off ora's best selling carver mat frames, named number one by wirecutter.

Using promo code coffee convos at checkout, that's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code coffee convos. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. I, like the math, don't ask me for math help. Actually, don't ask any of the dads for math help because we're all horrible. All four of them, plus me, are horrible at math.

And if they try to tell you otherwise, they're lying to you. I have to buy you a tutor because I can't. No, I'm not math. Don't even ask me. I will literally hire a tutor. But I was surprised by the, because I am a reader. And it was like reading the excerpt, which I would read the whole thing. And I believe that the multiple choice ones that were asked could have been his answer or my answer.

And so that's why I went with, I asked him, can I put, you know, what do you want? like you can change it, I thought, and then after I realized that I got them wrong, I was like, okay, I guess I could see how both of them could fit, but both of them could fit. So I just, I feel like if you're going to do that where like a parent is helping and there's two possible answers, like make sure they're both, they both could be marked correctly. Like I don't, I'm not a stupid person. And like when it comes to stuff like that, I feel like I'm good at reading comprehension. Like if you even ask Emily, she doesn't remember anything after she's done reading it and she'll tell you that but for some reason i have really keil was fucking punching the

damn i was shook i was like i don't understand how i got like i genuinely didn't understand i will tell you i tell jackson hey we have to do x y and z assignments and sometimes it'll be like he doesn't really ask me for help ever with his english class okay it's more like social studies and science. Yeah. I failed history multiple times. Like, don't ask me for help in social studies. Oh, like you failed your own. Yes. Yes. It's so fascinating to me because like I have so many issues with the public school system, but like also I like look back and I'm like, honestly, I love history so much now as an adult that I did not appreciate it at that time. And like if I was to take those history classes now, I would probably not even really have to study. I would just know by reading a couple

times. But like back then, I like would not have appreciated it. And I didn't. And I was not good at it at all. It's like when you pulled out the map, that was my sign to exit. I'll never forget. When I first graduated high school, went to community college first, I took an accounting 101 class. I know it's not social studies. I sat for a few minutes and I got up and left. Like, accounting was so easy for me. Have you lost your fucking mind? No. Like, I got two 100s in accounting in college.

And that was like the weed out program for the business school. So anybody trying to get into business classes, you had to take two accounting classes ahead of that and have a certain grade in set accounting to qualify to even register for the business classes. will was going to be a business major until he couldn't pass accounting and then he was like I'm just going to be an econ major because like I can't do it it was so easy for me and then my history classes and stuff that I took in college I also made hundreds in those and it's like how did I just like miss the boat in high school I had to switch from dental hygiene because I couldn't pass chem. Ken is my worst nightmare.

If I was to go back into any sort of schooling and had to take chem, she would have been a great dentist, okay? I would have to start school with the chem class by itself. Like I would not, because I would have to be able to have the time to go to tutoring and do all of that. Like to this day, I don't think that anything that involves math is a good option for me whatsoever like any sort of path including budget a lot of my spending at the current moment is dick sporting goods and books but the dick sporting good stuff is never just to have it it's like

serving a purpose well like a sports purpose usually a sports purchase um purpose because all my kids are in sports right now um but also like it's cold outside because there's 99 sports that's the other thing It's like my kids are in so many sports. And then I have also been, I think it was like August. Sometime in August I went through all the cleats and shoes that or gently used that could be passed down to the kids. However, we're in a season of life right now where the hand-me-downs don't quite fit the younger kids just yet. So we have to buy more stuff because we don't have. And then also I'm like more flexible with like, so like Emily texted me and was like,

hey, do you have cleats in this size for Nash, like her son? And for me, I'm like, okay, yes, I have the cleat. So I'll give them to her. They're too big for Creed, but too small for Lux. And then she doesn't have any boys after that. So I'm like, is it wrong for me if I ask for them back so then Creed could wear them next season? Because they're still in pretty good condition. Like, is that fucked up?

Okay. now this is getting me down a whole different rabbit hole. At what point do your kid's feet start stinking? Because that would you take back cleats that somebody else like sweat it in? And then they, it smells like athlete feet. So flag football was like eight weeks and they really weren't like it wasn't like tackle football. You know what I mean? Like it was like flag football that's like.

and you have them on for 45 minutes and then call it a day. So I'm like, it's not that. Like now if you're like Lincoln's age, Lincoln's like 12 and, you know, that to me, I'm like no. I just feel like I would never at this point offer Jackson shoes to anybody because I was in, I go to get in my car the other day. And I'm like, what the fuck is that smell? I'm like, something's rotted in here.

So I'm looking all around the car. And the only thing that's in there is pure tennis shoes. It's the tennis shoes. Kail, when I put it to my nose, I was like, these immediately need to be thrown away. No, I literally experienced the same thing when I cleaned out my car. But how does that happen? In the trunk.

They were in the trunk, and they smelled so bad that I thought it was rotting food. That's what I thought it was. I was like something fell out of a grocery bag like in here and it smells that bad. And when I, oh my God, when I put it, no. Question for you as a split household. Do you like, so Jackson's in basketball, he has basketball when he's with you. He has basketball when he's with Will. Are you guys each buying your own sets of basketball shoes and like whatever he wears to basketball?

or are you taking the stuff back and forth? Basketball, since he only plays one sport now, I always drop off. So, like, if Will's going to get him for the weekend and I know that he'll have him for the game, then I always drop off on Friday after I drop him off at school. I'll just put the stuff in Will's mailbox.

Because right now I'm in a place where... But I feel like your situation's different because y'all don't live as close in proximity as we do. I just feel like your situation, your multiple situations are very different. So Creed has soccer on Fridays and every other Friday he goes with Chris. So I in the past have had an issue with getting things returned to me. So I started requesting two jerseys, like I'll pay for the extra jersey or whatever.

So he had soccer last Friday. I packed an extra jersey and cleats that we have that are not like the new cleats that I bought him, but cleats from a previous season that are gently used. He ended up not taking him to soccer at all, but I sent that stuff with him because I was like, I don't know like what the plan is or whatever. With Lincoln, I know that Hobby is going to take him. I know that Hobby is going to have all the stuff over there. So Lincoln's stuff doesn't go back and forth.

With Lux and Creed, I do have to send stuff with. And it's just challenging. But also in my own household, I am having to buy multiple sets of things because I can't afford to get to basketball practice and you don't have your basketball shoes on. So getting them in the habit of taking things off in the car and leaving them there or having a pair at home and then an extra pair, even if they're like more rough, maybe they were from last season, leaving them in the car in case they forget, if that makes sense.

Jackson's basketball shoes, he normally like gets a pair at the beginning of basketball season and then he wears those for the entire basketball season, like that specific pair. And then we allow him to wear them like whenever. Otherwise, like in season, he's only wearing those shoes for basketball and we just buy one pair. So sometimes we'll buy it. Sometimes I buy it. Don't really care. And so those shoes go with that uniform to each of our houses. Yep. We've never had an issue with it. But some people have a big issue with, you know, not wanting to deal with it. So they order the extra uniform.

I know some leagues don't even offer like the option for extra uniforms. So we, like I told you on the last episode, we lost Lux's. What happened was I remember seeing it. And closet and I was doing a closet like donation situation. I do believe I accidentally put it in the donation pile. Like I was just like a brainless situation. I asked multiple times the league does not offer even the option to get a second jersey. So he literally just has to wear a red shirt and that was completely my fault. But a lot of times for Lux and Creed, I will just order the second jersey right off

of that. Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates, potential savings will vary,

not available in all states. Okay, I don't know about y'all, but I am definitely in the holiday. hosting mood. We have tons of holidays coming up, one including tomorrow and this holiday season. Give the gift that truly matters, which is health. We know your home is more than just a place. It's where your family gathers, grows, and thrives. Branch basics believes that creating a safe and healthy home is one of the most important things you could do for the people you love. Did you know that most conventional cleaning products are filled with harmful chemicals that can negatively impact your family's health? Because I was not aware until pretty recently. From toxic

fragrances to harsh disinfectants, these products can irritate skin, disrupt hormones, and even pollute the air inside your home without you even realizing it. Branch Basics believes your health should never be compromised by the products you use to clean your home. That is why they are on a mission to educate families about these hidden dangers and provide a better, safer alternative. The Branch Basic starter kit is amazing. It's a powerful plant and mineral-based solution designed to clean every room in your home from top to bottom, and I'm not kidding. This is all without harmful chemicals with just one concentrate. You can use it for everything. I'm talking kitchen counters, bathroom tile, laundry, even washing your produce and makeup brushes. For a limited

time only, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code coffee at branchbasics.com forward slash coffee. That's 15% off your order at branchbasics.com forward slash coffee with promo code coffee. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Get branch basics this holiday season because cleanliness matters do all the leagues like in your area like do you order the uniforms and stuff like online and then you can select like one or two or you have to go to coach specifically both so certain things is um you can go right you can tell the coach um or you tell like the email the league and they'll let you pay for an extra one um for soccer specifically we had to order the uniform separate from the

registration fee um so soccer is more like ordering separate online but then some of the like rec leagues are like you'd have to ask and then pay for it which is yeah i mean we live so close in proximity that doesn't bother me but i also you said that you sent stuff with one of the boys to their dads. How do we feel about sending like clothes back and forth and like stuff through a school backpack? Because I just feel like it's bad enough that we're not together. And I don't want you to ever like open your backpack at school and your friends see that stuff and be like, why is that in there? I had some feelings about it. It's the first time I had ever done it. So far, sending the jersey and the cleats to school because it was a Friday and Chris technically

doesn't get them until six but on that particular Friday I think I was supposed to go to Texas for my dad's memorial and then I didn't end up going but I didn't want to change the plans with Chris so I just allowed him to just still get them from school anyway and it was the first time I'd ever done it it does make me uncomfortable I also just don't like sending stuff back and regardless. Like, I am not sending you to your dad. If you, like, I don't care if you get your kids once a month or you get your kids every other week or you get your kids all summer. You're the other parent. Make sure they have everything they need. I'm not sending my stuff from my house. Not because I don't want you to have it, but simply because your home should be my child's home

and they should have whatever they need without having to bring it from my house to your house. So I don't give a fuck how much time you have your kids. You need to have every. everything for them all the time. You said something about, like, we're not together in the first place. Like, that's bad enough. And that's something that has been on my mind for the past, I would say, like, a week or so, maybe like two weeks, is that you and someone else that I know, they sort of like, we'll say, we'll call it learned the first time. And I sat here and literally created four broken homes. And that's been something that I struggle, I've been struggling with for the past like week or two weeks because I'm like um in a different way like obviously I've

always known that I have four baby dads right like that's something that we can't ignore but I never looked at it in a way that's like I created this like I did that I didn't learn the first time the second time the third time or the fourth time do you feel like I already know the answer to this but I have to ask would you do it any differently if you could go back and redo it Well, see, that is a hard question to answer because I don't regret my children. I don't regret any of them. I don't regret having seven of them. I don't regret any of them in any way, shape, or form.

I think the only way for me to answer this in the way that I hope comes out the way that I mean it is that I had no business having any children with Chris and truly no business having any children with Elijah either. So I think that at the point that I was married and divorced. and then got pregnant right away, I had no business doing that. Like, I should have waited until I knew that I was in a secure relationship, got married again if I wanted to do that, and then continue to have children. Like, I almost cannot believe that I did this. Does that make sense? It makes so much sense.

And I think I very much understand what you're saying when you say you don't regret any of your kids, but you might regret certain situations. Yeah. Like, I made my life hard. harder, their life harder, but I think the, like in the, in during that time, like, I just wanted a family and I just wanted to be loved and I wanted to be a wife and I wanted to be all of those things. And I think I was living in this like, I was like over romanticizing the Chris situation. And then I do think that maybe the situation with Elijah would have turned out differently

if certain things didn't occur. But, um, I like, I've been really thinking about that. It's like, but I also look back and I'm like, but I got married and divorce so then I was in a relationship where someone was saying something to me and then didn't follow through. So was it like the both of us fucked up, not just me or just him? So I actually just had a conversation with Kristen on the Southern Tea about this. And if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have definitely given myself time post-divorce. to really, like, truly heal the parts of me that needed to be healed from being married. Agreed. And I think that when you become a wife, that changes a lot of things.

And I'm not saying I was the best wife. I'm not saying he was the best husband. But I think that just changed my mindset on a lot of things, just like the way that I thought about stuff as a wife. So then when I got into other relationships, it's almost like you want to be a wife so bad again that you're almost overlooking some of the red flags and you're trying to like make it fit and make it work. Yeah. Because the desire is to like have that consistency back to, you know, be that be in that role of a wife. And you just can't move on too fast. And I think that that's probably a little bit of what happened to you.

I think that you saw a potential in somebody. And then I've said if Kail has sex one time, she has a kid. Fucked up. I mean, people, and I hope that I'm allowed to say this, but like Kail has seven kids. And I think she literally had sex like six times to get them. I literally I just think that's so funny like people really think I'm a whore

and I'm like no these are like most of the people I slept with you know what I mean like it's so it's so crazy I feel like if I feel like you have to be ovulating at least 30 days out of the week I mean 30 days out of the month

and every single time that I've known that you have gotten with somebody I immediately know you're getting pregnant well not anymore i have to go do the work now christin said you just got souvenirs i wish that the kid was immaculate conception actually but what the craziest part of it all is i had secondary infertility after lincoln was born which is the whole reason why i got surgery and everything else it's so frustrating was like wait you got surgery well i had the mommy

makeover because um shout out to dr amobie he looked at me dead in the face and was like kale. There are people in their 40s trying to get pregnant for their first time. And you have two healthy children, two healthy boys. Like, if you don't get pregnant, like, basically be happy with what you got. And at that time, I was like, yeah, you're fucking right. Like, you're right. And I listened to him and I got this. He didn't tell me to go get the surgery, but he was basically like, be happy with what you have. And I respected him then. I still respect him for saying it. But how do I go from secondary infertility back to back miscarriages to five more children? children. You know what? I don't know. I didn't even want kids, Lindsay. No, I know, which is the

wildest thing. Somebody did not want kids that, like, just had seven. Like, what? Seven plus the fucking baby. And, like, I wanted to have a baby so bad. Like, it was a childhood dream. Like, to be a mom. Like, I wanted to be a mom. Like, I wanted to be. a mom and a waitress. Like, I don't know why I wanted to be a waitress. A bossy waitress. Like, that was going to be my life. And I wanted to have a little boy and I had him and I wanted him so badly. And then to hear somebody say, I didn't even want kids and then had seven. No, but I love it here. Like, I don't know what I would, like, to think about my life as an

empty nester who stresses me out because what would I be doing with my life without my children? I mean, at this point, I don't know, and I couldn't even imagine it. So I'm not even going to try to guess, like, hypotheticals of what you would be doing. But back to what you were saying, so you feel a sense of guilt for creating those situations and then not being together with any of them. Like, this is going to sound fucked up. Like, if I could have all of my children by a donor, like the same exact children, because I love. having all my, like, I don't, I don't regret any of them. I don't regret how many of them. I don't regret any of it. It's stressful, chaotic and all of the things, but I literally thrive

in it. I don't know. I just wish that I didn't create, because if it was a donor, for example, there would be no broken homes, right? Like, they wouldn't know any different other than my home. So I just feel like in that way, like, that makes sense, but like I actually created like literal broken homes. Not once, not twice, not three times, but literally four times. do you feel like you have a hard time sharing them yes like and what's fucked up about that is it's also nuanced right like i now that i have lincoln lux and creed virtually full time okay like we're mostly full time there are some you know like this coming weekend i don't have any of my kids and so like that is a break that i desperately need but it's also not enough because it's it literally

ends up being, I want to say, like, 36 hours of child-free time. I have a really hard time. And it's not necessarily sharing. It's the, like last night, this is the text that I sent Will. I said, I can't sleep without him in this house. I'm probably going to have to get medicated or something. I've been worried all day. Like worried about Jackson?

Yeah, like I just, my anxiety when he's not... At this house, like on my days, I know he's fine and I know he's well taken care of and I know that I have to share. But I very much just struggle with the idea of, okay, now he's with him for the next two days and I'm not going to see him and I can't sleep without him in the house. I know more people than ever are feeling like their money is just disappearing each month. It's easier than ever to overspend from subscriptions piling up to impulse by. after seeing an ad on your phone to ordering takeout a few times a month. Rocket money helps you rein in by showing you where your money is going and helping you make better decisions so you can

keep more money in your pocket. I have talked about Rocket Money for years. It is my number one budget hack that I send to everyone who asks me advice. That's where we start. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket money shows you all of your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it, which is absolutely amazing. They also notify you if your subscriptions are increasing in price, which has been really helpful for me so I can decide what I'm keeping, what I'm getting rid of, and all of those good things. I absolutely love

their dashboard. It lays out your total financial picture, including build due dates and paydays in a way that's very easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. If you've got a goal you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside. They do all of the work for you. It is so amazing. And Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in canceled subscription.

alone. There are 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to RocketMoney.com slash coffee combos today. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. See, I also understand that too. Like the other night, Elliot had his play at school and um the closing night of the play he there was like an after party and stuff like that and i was like i can't go to sleep until i know how he's getting home or like where he is or like whatever so like i do understand that as well i just the i used to say i have the best of both worlds because i would have the kids and then they would go to their dads and they were happy over

there but as time is going on they're some of them are not happy going over to their dad's house and that stresses me out. Well, it's because you want your kids to feel so happy and fulfilled. And if they're happy and fulfilled with you, you know that they're thriving in that environment, right? I know, and fortunately, I have a situation to, he's as happy with him as he is with me. And so that is really hard on me too because I look at the situation like look back on the situation and it's like Jackson's ideal world and he has said this like if you and dad ever got remarried, what house would we live at? Have you all talked about getting back together? No. And it's only been as of recently that Jackson's like brought this up. And I genuinely do think it's because Will is fully working on

himself in a single state, and I'm fully working on myself in a single state. And so I think that Jackson sees us in our singleness and because we can kind of be around each other so much more because we're not doing other stuff with other people, that it's almost like he fantasizes that life still. And he will say, in a perfect world, I want my parents back together. I think that Javi and I did a disservice to Lincoln when we were also doing that. And I'm not saying that you're doing a disservice to Jackson because y'all situation is very, very different than mine and Hobbies. But when Hobby and I kept going back and forth and then we would date other people and then we would try to get back together and then we would date other people and then we would get back.

That is what was happening to Lincoln. And I, but I will say that I noticed a huge difference in my son when Hobby and I are speaking respectfully to each other or about each other or like Lincoln knows when we're fighting. like he knows even if we don't say it even if he doesn't hear it the body language yes yes he knows and so like for me i just i don't know like i don't think that anyone could have prepared me for all of this and obviously it's years later right like creeds five it's been five years since at minimum five years since i've been with chris it's been more than that but um like they know and i'm only just now seeing the effects of it if that makes sense and i will say that And I'm only speaking about my specific scenario.

So please don't talk in the comments about how, you know, your situation is, it's good for you guys. I'm happy for you. But 50-50, the older they get, doesn't work for me, for us. Like for Elliot himself, who's about to be 16 years old in a month, 50-50 is not ideal. He does not want to settle down at one of our houses and then get up a week later and have to go to the other. And he doesn't, he's texting me when he's at my, his dad saying, oh, I left my lap. or you know a car is coming up right like what does that look like if he has the car the you know we don't see eye to eye on like the rules of the car and things like that like 50 50

doesn't work but also the kids deserve to be with their have the I don't know the whole thing I don't think that anyone could have prepared me for it and and does it get to a point where and I know it's heartbreaking for so many people and I might experience the heartbreak at some point myself, but does it get to a point when you have a child like Elliot's age where you give them the flexibility of kind of coming and going? Or is that unhealthy? Like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm all about the coming and going in a respectful way that you're communicating. I'm for it at this age. I know years ago I got on to Joe and basically was like, you know, I think that he should have more flexibility and that was when he was younger and Joe kind of pushed back on it and now

I agree with that but as they get older we'll say Lincoln's age and up like 12 and up I think that they should have more flexibility if they want it um and you know Joe doesn't agree with that Joe does not he does not want his 15 16 year old son coming in and out and he's expressed that he's made that very clear where I feel very differently about it. I think that he should be able to come and go at both homes with respect. Obviously, like, texting, give us a heads up. But how do you feel about that?

Like, could you picture when Jackson is driving? Could you picture him sort of being at whoever's house? Or do you think that you'll have very rigid rules about it? I don't think we'll have very rigid rules about it. I think, obviously, you've got to factor in. If I was traveling for something for work or Will was traveling for something for work, then obviously just like the default, that's where the child would be, right? But do I think whenever he starts driving and, you know, he's going to want to do stuff

that's not on a co-parenting schedule? Like, we're already experiencing that. And so we're already allowing for the flexibility within reason to be able to honor those things. And I know it's easier for us because we have. you know, we're parenting one. So it's probably harder for people that have multiple children with somebody or multiple children involved, maybe from multiple partners. And they want either all the kids to be together at one time or, you know, want them all to be at the other parents' house at one time. But I do think that we should just, like, be flexible. And if it's within reason,

why not? That's how I feel. I mean, even if it doesn't matter. Lincoln just turned 12. he said hey my grandpa wants to take me out for dinner for my birthday it was on my time you know hobby doesn't live in the seat anymore what the what the fuck business do I have saying no like that's not ideal like that would have like what I yeah go and I literally and he was like mom you can say no and I looked at him and I said why would I say no like your grandpa wants to take you to dinner why would I say no and he's like and he went to dinner and he they went to Texas Roadhouse and he came back when he was done and, you know, it just is what it is. Same for Ellie is.

Like, if you want to do something that you feel would be a better fit at your dad's house and it's on my time, like, who am I to tell you no? Like, I just, that's just not something that I want to argue about. It's not a battle I want to choose. Now, obviously, if you're, if you think you're going to come home at 2 in the morning, you're not, you don't get to come and go out of either of our houses at 2 in the morning. But if it's in within reason, I don't understand the no. I mean, if, and I know that it would break.

my heart if Jackson ever decided like, oh, I'm going to like stay at dad's house more days than I'm going to stay with mom. But I would honor it because I feel like he's the most important part of the equation. And so his happiness should mean more to me than mine. And it's not about battling with will for time. It's about making sure that my child is fulfilled and where he wants to be. Do you remember when, did you remember the post of Bristol Palin when she posted her son and that he was moving to Alaska from Texas? Yes. Like, to me, that was such good parenting because they, like, to my knowledge, I think, what is, is it named Trigg? No. Trip. Trip. Trip. Trip. Yeah.

I would assume probably went to either one or both of his parents was like I want to go, you know, be in Alaska. But he also, him and his dad, I think what she posted is that like big fishers, big hunters, and big hunters, things like that. Like, that makes sense to me. When you're talking about parents. It would be so hard. Oh, I'm not saying it was easy.

Like, that would not be like, I couldn't even imagine. But like, so like, if Lincoln ever came to me and was like, I want to go live with my dad because he's a big sports guy. Like I would have to understand. Do you know what I mean? Like it would fucking suck and it would hurt. But like at some point I would have to be like, okay, like I get it.

There's also things though being a mom of boys that I feel like Jackson and will have a very similar relationship than Lincoln and Javi. And so I feel like they like to do stuff to. that's different than like what I would do with him and Jackson very much values like his guy time so like who am I to say no so if Jackson told you like I don't want to go back and I don't think this will ever happen but if Jackson came to you and was like I'm gonna cry oh my god don't no but I feel the same way like I think I would ball my eyes out if Lincoln was like I want to go with my dad and it's not like any shade to hobby but it would just be like

damn i mean i don't know i would be like you've got to stay with me like one night a week like i cannot do this like no see a new mess like that's for that's for college and let's be perfectly honest i'm a helicopter so i'm probably going to get an apartment near college this episode of coffee combos podcast is brought to you by booking dot com i've got to say if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world and for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay, and that's billion with a bee. But here's the thing. Most vacation rental hosts don't even realize that they can

list their properties on booking.com. And if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of booking.com travelers worldwide. After all, they can't book what they can't see, right? But once you start listing on booking.com, your property gets seen. by a massive global audience of unique travelers. That means more visibility, more bookings, and more opportunity to accelerate the growth of your rental business. And it couldn't be any easier. You can register your property in as little as 15 minutes and nearly half of hosts get their first booking within a week. So if your vacation rental isn't listed on booking.com, it could be invisible to millions of travelers searching the platform.

Don't miss out on consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen. Get booked on booking.com. did you see elliott's post to lincoln for his birthday yeah and i cried i ugly cried and i couldn't like i could cry thinking about it right now like so upsetting and i think that siblings have to be considered heavily on both sides that's it that's tough um i didn't even know actually that bristol palin's ex-husband lived in alaska and she didn't like i didn't even know until she posted that i just feel like that would be so that would be like such a hard

thing for me to do. However, I know that I'm not facing that because Will and I have committed that like we're staying in this area until he graduates high school. So I think that also tugs on my heartstrings a little bit is like the kids that basically do have to decide at some point. And sometimes there's no decision, but with no decision is the decision. Yep. When they're out of state, right? Like it would be so much easier for me in my opinion if we'll use Hobby and Chris has examples because they don't live in Delaware. If because they don't live in Delaware, now I, now the kids are saying, and this is all hypothetical, like they came to me and they're like, we want to go live with our dads.

They don't live in the state. I don't have, I can't just run by and go grab them for one night to take them to still have quality one-on-one time with them. They're out of the state at that point. So like for Bristol, Palin, like, I don't know how she's doing that. Like I don't, I gave her all the credit in the world because, I mean, it's not to me that's not a dig at her motherhood it's just the type of relationship that her son has with his dad but like in the same state i think it would be so much easier it's a really hard

situation to honor your children when you almost feel like you honoring them is neglecting you yeah but that's really what it has to be and ultimately it boils down to within reason, honor your kids. Kristen said, what I've learned is that no one wins in these scenarios. And I would agree. The kid doesn't win because their parents were never together. And whether they know any different or not, it's still a loss. I just think that you have to get to a point of number one, healing, right?

Like, you have to heal from the situation of each other. And then number two, like, what is it that you're doing? Is it solely for your kids? Yeah. No doubt. That's so interesting. Wait, I have to ask you, you went to go and see regretting you after I saw it. Yes.

Actually, it's a $5 movie. Me too. Yeah, we went to that a day. No, we went on a Saturday. Well, mine was a $5 movie on a Tuesday. I almost shouldn't. That is so funny that. you say that because the last two times I've gone to the movies. I don't know if I'm putting

too much butter on it or like what's happening, but it feels like food poison. What? Like it though? Did you like the movie? I did like the movie. Here's the problem, though. I feel like there were parts of it that should have been like elongated in some like areas of the movie and then some like that were longer parts didn't necessarily need to be longer parts. Okay, I hope what I'm about to say doesn't piss anybody off or ruffle feathers, because that's not my intent. I love to end with us.

I loved regretting you. However, I feel like those two movies specifically, the way they were made, were more choppy scenes than, like, a big production movie that's not based on a book. Does that make sense? Like, I'm thinking of, like, I don't know. I don't know why Black Panther, maybe because we watch it so much, Black Panther comes to mind. It feels like a whole production, seamless.

The scenes flow right one into another. It feels like it ends with us and regretting you. Both had very choppy, like, this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened. It wasn't like this and then this and then this and then this. No, I get that. And I don't know. Was the budget smaller than like a big production, or was it just because they were trying to tell the story?

exactly how it was in the book. I mean, I thought regretting you was very, very similar to the book. I felt like it ends with us was a far better movie than regretting you. And it did much, much better in box office from my understanding, from the initial reports than regretting you did. Out of all of Coho books that I have read, I wish that they would have, just because drama sells, Like I wish that they would have put more emphasis on Jonah and Chris and Morgan and all of that scenario. Like they really needed to play that up and it didn't get played up as much. Like I feel like that's what I was talking about. Like it wasn't like they really needed to do more with that.

And I felt like it was so choppy that it was like left up to the viewers to like figure some of the stuff out when that specific scenario didn't really play out the same way in the book. And I feel like the book was so much more dramatic and like a real twist. And so I just, I don't know, I feel like, I don't know. I mean, could you imagine, like, your husband having an affair with your sister, having a baby with your sister, and then just dying in a car accident? And then, like, where's the closure? Remember when I told you about all the beautiful and ugly things? yeah wonderful ugly and wonderful things similar scenario in that book as well um not going to

give away any spoilers but similar situation there as well no i cannot imagine it i cannot imagine my sister and i having any interest in the same man whatsoever but like how do you get closure from a situation like that you don't you literally give the the rest of your life and and then a baby's involved right so like what do you do with that cry and every time you see the child it it is a reminder of what they did to both of you i'm ready for reminders of him reminders of him comes out the day before my birthday and that book fucked me up so i don't know you need to read it you need that needs to be your next well we've literally talked about two books that i need to put in my cue of reading and i'm

only on chapter three like I really at some point this week have slowed down and I need to pick back up. No, I read all day yesterday. Like I had nothing. All I did was read yesterday. I did nothing. I was not productive in any way, shape, or form. I feel like the reading was the productivity. Okay, fair. That's fair. You know what I mean? Because I feel like you are getting prepared for the turtles and like you're doing the things that make you happy. And it's, it's a happy moment. productive moment. Fair. But really, too with your hair. It's like flat because I got it done on Sunday. So I'm like trying to like fluff it up a little bit. It's not really working out for me, but it's fine. I have a pair of teacher conference after this recording. So I love that for you.

And on that note, my little kitty cat, we have foul play. Never thought I'd send this story in, but it's a great Thanksgiving story that we all still laugh about to this day. This happened maybe seven years ago or so. I live in a major city on the East Coast now, but I grew up in L.A. One of my friends out here in the east mentioned that she'd never been out to the West Coast and wanted to go there and do a trip to L.A. and we booked the trip the week of Thanksgiving. Wednesday night came around and we were trying to plan on what to do the next day since it was going to be Thanksgiving. We figured a lot of things would be closed. I suggested that we go to my grandparents' house since there would be free food and I could see my family while we were out there. As I'm sure you all know, weed is fully legal in California.

And it's good stuff. So while we were out there, we indulged in some edibles. we got to my grandpas and parked down the street so we could walk up to the house and surprise everyone. Needless to say, we may have indulged a bit too much. So here we are at my grandpa's house. My whole family is there. We are super giggly and helping cook in the kitchen.

The next thing I know, my friend has a look in her eye and falls face first into the stove. She legit knocked out. Her arm hit the burner and she had an instinctual reaction and flew back, hit her head on the fridge behind her and slid to the floor. Her arm was completely burned. She basically had a branding on her arm in the shape of a burner. She was okay, and it was scary at the time, but our cover was blown, and everyone pretty much knew how high we were at that point.

We were thinking that the combo of THC and November, California heat, while cooking over a hot stove, did the trick. To this day, we still laugh about it, and my family loves her and asks how she's doing all the time. She even came back out to visit with me last year. Hope you love my silly Thanksgiving story. I just feel like there are certain things that we don't need to do when we're going to our grandparents' house and causing a disaster on thanksgiving. Thanksgiving because we're high is just like one of those things, you know? Like never would I ever. Actually, I can't say that.

Have you ever been high in Z in your whole life? I was like, never would I ever. No, one time, remember me telling you like years ago about somebody passing out weed gummies at like family Thanksgiving? If everybody in the room is equally high, I feel like maybe. I could play with that idea. But I am so embarrassed that I would do something weird that I don't want to be around people if I'm high. It would not be a fun time to see kale high.

Like, it just wouldn't. Okay, well, this is a sign that none of you need to have the combo of THC and November California heat and also being at your grandparents. We hope that you guys have the best Thanksgiving. If you're looking to snag any merch at a discounted price, we are really. running our Black Friday and Cyber Monday promotion now through Monday, 12-1 on coffeeconvos podcast.com. 10% off orders $50 plus, 20% off orders of $100 plus, 30% off orders of $150 plus, and free shipping on orders $150 plus. No promo code is needed. Discounts apply automatically. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app.

follow in right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. For our latest merch, visit coffeeconvo's podcast.com to shop. Full video episodes are available on Kail's Patreon at patreon.com slash Kail Lowry. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community. We hope that you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This November, action is free on Pluto,

TV, go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for drive, World War Z. Every human being we save. It's one of less fights. And Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci-fi adventure with the fifth element

and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills. All for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Hey, never. I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond.

I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. No, no, no, no, no, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, Nika. Just, in this, like, in this, like, business jacket, like, I would love some tacos. Heidi D'Amilio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up. because it happened and we're going to get through it. What I do. And so many more.

So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions, and get a little vulnerable because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow rate and review Off the Vine podcast wherever you listen to your podcast.