Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - No More DICKS

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

CC418: Anxiety pukes and poolside worries! Kail and Lindsie are battling the chaos of the week, complete with emergency pants deliveries for some end of school season chaos. We’re tackling the big questions: At what age can kids be trusted around a pool? Is it EVER okay to buy a female coworker a Stanley cup? Plus, we're figuring out Father's Day gifts (or lack thereof) and diving deep into the messy world of co-parenting flexibility. And of course Foul Play has a story about peeing in a cup in a car. Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthHoney Love: Start spring off right with Honeylove. Get 20% OFF by going to honeylove.com/Coffee!IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for helpProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn moreShady Rays: Go to ShadyRays.com and use code COFFEE for 35% off polarized sunglassesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kaila and Lindsay. Hey, Kitty Kat. Good morning. Do you know what I was doing right before we hopped on this recording? Shitting? No, but probably could have done that too. Um, I was hugging the toilet from anxiety pukes. So I was I was shitting. I had bubble guts from anxiety shits. Why do we have such anxiety? You know what? It's been an emotional couple of weeks. It's been an emotional couple. It's

been a trying couple of weeks. You know what? The end of the school year is already crazy enough. And I've said this before on coffee combos podcast a hundred times over the last eight years, the end of the school year is so chaotic because I feel like when we're getting excited for summer, the kids care less about their homework. They care less about what's going on. The flyers are getting lost in the sauce. And there's just a lot of stuff going on. And so you find out about things last minute and that's across the board. I didn't know I was going to be summoned to field day. We talked about this. I didn't think that I was going to be participating. I had to move some recordings to get to field day. Some other things were going on. Some things are in the app for the school. Some things are on paper. There's just a lot. There's

a lot going on. I wish that schools could go back to the old school way where we just got the paper information. And we're gonna have to worry about checking an app and going online to check grades and going into, I think it's called like Canvas or something. We don't have that. Is what they use and you have to go in and look at their calendar on that.

So it's all digital. There's like other places to find other things on another app. To even be able to check your kid out of school now, you have to use the app. I'm so fucking over apps, but we've been out of school. By Friday, it'll be two weeks, we've been out of school. And the last two weeks of school

felt like an entire month because there were activities and things going on every single day. Yeah. Well, and so Lincoln called me from the school the other day from the nurse. He had gotten ketchup all over his pants and was like, Mom, can you bring me new pants? It was, I think 1250 by the time he called me around 12. Hold on, let me go look. Let me just go verify real quick. Link called me at 12. The school day is over at 2 50.

Like I pick up is at 2 50 and I link had called and I was like, by the time I got there, it was 1230 to bring in pants. And at that point I'm like, I'm just taking them home. I'm not, cause they're not bus riders. Like there, I pick them up. So I ended up just, I bring the pants cause at first I was going to bring in pants. And at that point I'm like, I'm just taking them home. I'm not, cause they're not bus riders. Like they're, I pick them up. So I ended up just, I bring the pants cause at first I was going to bring the pants and then I get there and I'm like, I'm not coming back in two hours. Like it's 20 minutes to get, it's 17 minutes from my house and then I have to get Lux and everything else. I was like, I'm just going to go get, um,

I'm just going to bring them home. It's the end of the school year. They're excited. They want to be outside with their friends, whatever, whatever. And so the last few weeks of school are always chaotic. It's mass chaos. Jackson has a pool party today because it, I don't know what the weather's been like there, but it has rained. I swear what feels like every day for two weeks. Yeah. We just started getting nice weather this week. I mean, it was raining back to back to back to back. What do you think about drop off pool parties? I don't love drop off pool parties. I've never had a drop off pool party at my house. I've oh, parents have always stayed. And specifically surrounding the conversations that we have

had on this podcast, it's just like, it has raised a lot of awareness for me. And it makes me nervous because like Beach Gem said, and we talked about it on the last podcast, I think you read something that she said is like, even all the adults think that the other adults are watching or that there are enough eyes, like nothing can happen because there's 12 adults out here. I don't necessarily think that's true. It's like, we, not that we have bad intentions. It's just, it makes me really, really nervous now.

What age do you think it would be appropriate for a drop off pool party? I want to say like Lincoln's age. Lincoln's about, he's, you know, 11 and a half, maybe 12. I don't know. I think it varies by kid. It varies by family. I don't know. I don't want to put an age on it even. Jackson's going to a pool party this afternoon, like into the evening and trust the parents wholeheartedly. He's 12, he's a strong swimmer, but it has me scared. I used to let him like ride his little scooter to the pond in my neighborhood and then Will lets him do the same thing.

Now I've shut that down, terrified he's gonna slip. scooter to the pond and my neighborhood and then will let them do the same thing. Now I've shut that down. Terrified he's going to slip. Because it's not even about the drowning at that age. It is. Don't get me wrong. But my bigger concerns, the older they get, is diving and getting head injuries because they think it's funny. They're goofing off with their friends and now they're diving into the pool or hitting their head or they're goofing around. At that point, it's not like the silent drowning with like smaller children. It's the older kids messing around getting a head injury or holding each other underwater and thinking it's funny.

So still water danger. I tell Jackson all the time, every single year that the pool opens. I'm like no monkeying around in the pool, like, have fun, but don't be on top of somebody somebody's not to be on top of you in the pool. Don't be dunking people and holding their head under. I see kids at the pool all the time in my neighborhood just like rough housing and carrying on and the parents will just be in the chairs sitting having conversation not paying any attention to Their children and I'm it's like at what point do you correct the kids that are doing that? I don't know

Because I will do it. I'll say hey you guys that's not safe. Yeah, like not on my watch It's scary the whole it's all scary. It's all I remember one time I took Isaac Lincoln and Lux to Mexico by myself and I talked about it on this podcast. I didn't have help. I didn't bring a nanny. I didn't bring us like I didn't bring anybody with me. So I didn't bring a significant other. And they were all at three very different ages. And so it was hard because Lincoln couldn't quite do what Elliot could do. And then Lux was a toddler. And so it was very hard for me and it's a scare. But like we were on vacation and it was, it's definitely hard. I do appreciate like splash pads, like the older kids, like Elliot doesn't want to do that. Maybe Lincoln is at the age

where, cause it's sort of like a sprinkler, like splash pads are fine because you can sit down and you don't have to worry necessarily about drowning. Although I'm pretty sure you can drown in like an inch of water, like just the second that you like inhale the water. But I think there's just there's less risk in my opinion. What is dry drowning? Because I was just reading something. dry drowning. Yeah, so I was reading like in our comments and somebody had commented about dry drowning and it says it's a non-medical term used to describe acute lung injury or airway spasms that can occur after water inhalation often in

children. It is not formally recognized as a medical term, but highlights the importance of diligence after a near drowning incident. I used to get scared. Remember, I'm sure you can remember him. Maybe some of your kids are even at this age now, like the puddle jumpers. Jackson were a puddle jumper, I think, until maybe four years old. He started swimming around that time without a puddle jumper. I was terrified. That was the same year that we started hearing about the dry drowning. Okay. And so I didn't know anything about that. My ex-father-in-law was like, hey, this is a thing. Look into it. I know he's trying to swim on his own, blah, blah, blah.

And I would be paranoid if he put his face in the water, like where any water could get into his lungs. I was so paranoid. I would be like, you have to sit out. You can't put your face in the water. You have to sit out. Yeah. Like talk about helicopter parent. It's in the bathtub too. Scary. Do your kids play in the bathtub too. It's scary. Do your kids play in the bathtub and like swim like that? No, they don't really swim. I just leave, people might rip my head off for this, but like I'd rather leave the drain unplugged and leave the water running so they can play with the water.

I have a well, I don't know if that helps, but so they'll, the twins in Rio specifically, because I put them all in the bath at the same time, I don't want if that helps but so they'll the twins in Rio specifically because I put them on the bath at the same time I don't want them sitting in their filth so I just leave the thing unplugged and leave the water like I don't know. It's just wait since you're on well water do you have to give your kids like different type of fluoride because I remember Will's mom telling me when the boys were growing up that she had to give like a fluoride supplement to them Because they were on well, you know, I have to use water softener and like my well like for my well so it doesn't have that like

Sulfate eggy smell but we don't really drink the well water We have I had a system installed for reverse osmosis in my kitchen. So we don't have to do any of that. Wait, how do you get that? A company did it. A company came and did it. But like, do you notice the difference? Yeah, like I have a separate faucet for that water specifically. And is that like the water you drink? We typically drink bottled water. But if we are going to drink from the sink, we use the other faucet, not the regular faucet. How interesting when we're gonna like boil water I don't boil the well water. I boil the reverse osmosis water. Oh really? I don't know if I'm supposed to do that Let me check

Reverse osmosis water, can I boil? reverse Well, you know that you can because you do Well, you know that you can because you do. Should you? Okay. A properly operating reverse osmosis unit can remove pathogens, including viruses, bacteria, and protozoa. However, there are many units available to the public through hardware stores and elsewhere,

not all of which can be relied on to remove pathogens. Furthermore, reverse osmosis units must be diligently maintained to assure effective treatment. If you are at all uncertain of the capabilities of your reverse osmosis unit, do not rely on it to remove potentially harmful pathogens. Instead, you should be used boiled and then cooled water from an acceptable alternate source. So I'm assuming you can boil reverse osmosis water. I don't know. All I know is I have a company that comes out and services this and does it and maintains it. So they also tested my well for those things before they did this. And I didn't

have dangerous water or anything. I say all this to say, if you have a well, you don't need reverse osmosis. Just make sure you stay on top of your well stuff. But I did it because I was being a little bougie. And that's it, that's my story. Bougie on a budget. Shout out, Matt. Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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See terms for details. Okay, we have two listener topics that I want to be able to get to. The first one is what gifts are we giving for Father's Day? And I have a second question to ask you. Do you gift your kids' dad's Father's Day gifts every year? I give them gift cards and cards from the kids every year. Didn't you forget to give it to them last year and they sat in your office? I think they were late, yeah.

You said, yeah. This year for Mother's Day, I got, Elliot gave me a card that Elijah got me. I did forget to give Javi's last year, but it was in my car. The intention was always there. And it's from the kids. I'm not doing it because I'm doing it. You know what I mean? Lincoln gave me a card this year and a necklace for Mother's Day. So I don't know. At the end of the day, I try to remember to get the kids' dad stuff from them. I did get Elijah a grill last year. He got a- That's a great Father's Day gift. What kind of pit boss or some kind of grill like that? I don't know what kind of fucking grill it was. I had gotten that, but Elijah's birthday and Father's Day are so close together that they

sort of were all convoluted. I hate when birthdays are near another holiday because then somebody just ends up getting probably a bigger gift than what they would get if it wasn't like that. But it's like all wrapped into one and feels like it's not separate at all. And I can't imagine for like Valentine's Day people that were born on Valentine's Day or even Christmas. Like that sucks. Or Mother's Day. Like I have a girlfriend who is very close to Mother's Day that I think sometimes her birthday falls around Mother's Day or even on Mother's Day.

And it's like, damn, like that fucking sucks. Like that's why I've always been really weird about months. And I've said this to you before, like if I would get married April or September, because we don't have anything else to celebrate those two months. Every other month we have something to celebrate and I don't want to share a celebration.

That's interesting. Yeah, I don't and I don't want to share a celebration. I don't want to share my celebration month for my wedding, my anniversary with another thing that we're celebrating that like, don't want to do it. Wait, okay. So are we the type of people that are going to celebrate one singular event? So let's say like an anniversary or a birthday. I hear people all the time say, Oh, it's my birthday month. And it's like, bitch, you're grown. I mean, here's the thing. I'll use myself as an example. In March, it's a great month. I might not see you specifically on my birthday, but I might see you another week in March.

And so when I or like Becky lives in New Jersey, I might not see her on my birthday. I might see you another week in March. And so when I, or like Becky lives in New Jersey, I might not see her on my birthday. I might see her two weeks after my birthday or two weeks before my birthday. It's like, at that point, it's my birthday month. I get it. But some people, like I can never imagine it just like being September right now and acting like everyone had to celebrate me for the entire month because I was born in September. No, we're gonna celebrate on the weekend of my birthday, and that's it.

Fair, fair. Also, next question for you. Do you get pissed off if someone gives you a gift that's like supposed to be for let's say like my birthday September 17th. If someone gave me a gift on September 15th and told me happy birthday on September 15th, I'm not talking to you. Like it pisses me off. And like when I was married, Will would be like, if we let's say we stayed up late on September 16th, and he'd be like, happy birthday. I'm so upset. Like, why didn't you tell me when I woke up? Like, it feels

like it ruined my day. Yeah, like it. I mean, I couldn't see if it was like, hey, I have this going on tomorrow. I won't be able to wish you a happy birthday. Or I'm going to be flying or something like that. It's like, Hey, I won't be able to say it tomorrow. So I'm saying it now. Happy birthday. But if you're just doing it for shits and gigs, I'd be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Like, why are you doing that? Yeah. Like also go to fuck the bed. Like you literally just ruined my fucking day. You ruined my day. Okay. So what are we getting our baby daddies?

We can call them baby daddies. Our children's fathers. What are we getting our children's fathers? For Father's Day. I'm going to send the kids with cards and gift cards. And that is it. That's the gift. Very little thought is instilled in my children, unfortunately, for Mother's Day. I don't care how much you hate your child's mom. Very little has been put into the thought. So I'm going to make sure they get sent with a gift and that is that is that Jackson prefers that we go shopping for his dad. So I think I bought him

Jordans last year. I think that's what Jackson wanted him to get was Jordans. So we did that I mean, I feel like you can never go wrong with like a golf shirt like a polo Anything really at Dick's Sporting Goods, I think any man would probably love. We should probably stay away from Dick's Sporting Goods. Why? Just stay away from Dicks for a little while. That's what I'm being told to do. Wait, wait, can I tell you when Dick's Sporting Goods like first came out? I went to look online to like shop

and I just typed in dicks.com. Oh, because it was just called dicks. Yeah, that's not, I didn't find Nike shorts when I did that. He might have found a dick in Nike shorts. You found a dick inside of Nike shorts, but it wasn't just the shorts. Oh my God. It wasn't. You want me to tell you what's going to be a purchase coming soon for me? Yeah, I would love to know. Will and I are considering buying a half a cow.

Oh, to freeze. Yeah. Yep. Do you think that's a good or bad idea? I've been meaning to ask you this. Elijah is a big fan of that. Also our previous tenants were also a big fan of that. I don't eat meat like that, so I can't really speak on it.

But we have butchers here, especially the Amish and stuff that you can go get, that you can go buy the chicken in bulk, you can buy half a cow. I don't eat beef like that, so I don't know if it would be good or not. Are you more of a chicken eater? I'm a big chicken eater. I'm a big poultry eater. I don't eat a whole lot of steaks or anything like that. Hamburger even, we do a lot of like maybe tacos once a night, once a week, but that's not like, um, like we don't eat steaks enough or burgers enough, if that makes sense. Oh, see, I eat that probably multiple times a week. Steak, steak like multiple times a

week. Oh, wow. See, yeah, I didn't know that. But I wonder, I might have to pick Elijah's brain on this because how many like steaks do you get from a half a cow? And like how many pounds of ground beef? I'm gonna have to buy an entire freezer to store all of this stuff. But do you think it's a good or bad idea? A good idea, if you're eating them regularly and you have the room for a deep freezer in

your garage, I suggest it because it's going to be cheaper over time. I mean, I don't, you also have to look at like, how much is it saving you? Is it saving you $200? Because I don't know if that would be worth it for you. If it's saving you $1,000, maybe. We eat so much meat every single week that I think it would be good. And now that I have like my grill, I just think it makes the most sense. I now no longer like filets. We were together when everyone told me not to also eat.

I'm a ribeye girly. I don't know if I'll ever be a ribeye girly. Why? I don't know, I'm just so used to eating filets. So I'm just a filet girly. Well with all of the life things that have been transpiring and quite literally imploding, I have decided that I am going to become an every night cooker at home. I really like being in my little private space

where nobody can get to me. And you know what I ordered? What'd you order? I ordered a little egg container, a little acrylic egg container for my fresh eggs. Where are you getting fresh eggs from? You know somebody? Yeah, so I know two people that have fresh eggs one person lives like really close to me

And then the other people that do it is the people that own like the dog boarding facility where Oliver goes whenever I travel And so they sell sell fresh eggs, too. I love that the fresh Pictures you have you have convinced me off of your little video or tutorial. There is a huge difference. It's so interesting because I'm not a huge egg person. I don't really like breakfast food, so I don't really eat eggs like that. Elliot likes to boil an egg and put it in his salads. Oh, that's so good.

That's where it all started, was he realized that I was started getting him salad kits and stuff. Cause he was always asking for like salads. So I started getting those and then he started boiling an egg to put in them. That's when he really started to notice it. And he was like, I went to my dad's and he was like, they buy store bought eggs, which is whatever, like, I don't care. And, um, and he was like, there's just such a difference.

Like it tastes different. And I'm like, I really didn't think anything of it. People had always said that, but like, I had never such a difference. Like it tastes different. And I'm like, I really didn't think anything of it. People had always said that, but like I had never seen it firsthand until he brought it up. And so I was like, let's do the egg video and sure as shit. I mean, the texture is different, which is so crazy to me. Like I could see a color difference, maybe a taste difference, but the texture is different.

But what is the color difference? That blows my mind. The fresh one is like way more orange looking and the store bought one is very like muted yellow. I'm looking it up. Why are store bought? I think it's because they go through a bleaching process, I think. I just wish that we could... The difference in flavor can be attributed to factors such as the hen's diet, living conditions, and the freshness of the eggs. So many of the differences between store-bought and farm-fresh all come

down to the nutrition and maturity of the chickens. Flavor, it says one of the most noticeable differences is the flavor. Farm-fresh eggs have richer taste thanks to the chickens, more diverse diet. So if I had to guess, it's sort of like a, I don't know this for sure. So don't mark my words on this, but I think like you're buying food in bulk versus and like feeding them in these like facilities. And even if they are outside and they're eating outside and it's in this like, we'll say small acreage compared to how many chickens, they're not going to still be able to eat as much bugs or whatever else they eat in the grass as like I only have 18 chickens out on my one and a half acres. They're able to go,

there's only 18 of them. So they're going to be able to eat more bugs and more things like that. And I also do all types of mixes. They're not just getting a bulk diet of chicken feed. They're getting like a variety of stuff. Have you watched any videos on TikToks of like chicken people and they make like these intricate looking salads for their chickens? No. Yeah. Oh, I'm into it.

Like I don't think I can have chickens, but- Probably not on the golf course. I want them, but I don't think I can have chickens, but Probably not on the golf course. I want them. But I don't think I can have them. How will to get them? Will also lives on the golf course. Oh, that golf course or a different golf course? Depends on the day. I'm just kidding. Throwing us for a loop there, Lindsey Christie.

Josh and yeah, he lives on a different golf course. Okay. Um, yeah, I think he lives off like, holy, and I'm off of hole 13, but just different neighborhoods, you know? Okay. Yeah. Same life, just you know, different location. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Feel me? I feel you. Yeah. So I'm gonna send you some of these videos. But it's like, um, Katie Smith, She has chickens. You'll have to look her up on Instagram. She does like these salads like for them.

Oh, I love, I'm K you said KT salad. KT Smith. KT Smith. Yeah. She has like, she does chicken videos and stuff and I just love it. But like, would you ever go the extra mile and like cut up lettuce and like tomatoes and that kind of stuff for your chickens? Yeah. Would they eat it?

I think so. I don't see why they wouldn't. Okay, well can you make a video for me and then show me? Yeah, I absolutely will. Okay, Lindsay, I don't know about you but truly as soon as the temps start rising, I am ready to swap out all of my bulky and uncomfortable things. And I always end up starting with like my bra and underwear drawer. This summer, it's all

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slash coffee. After you purchase, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you Experience the New Standard Embroise with Honeylove. Next person says, okay, ladies, I'm looking for advice. What would you do if your husband kept coming home talking about a female coworker and just came home to let you know that he bought her and a few other co-workers as Stanley. Mind you, this man legit buys himself anything and everything, but when it comes to spending

anything outside of groceries, it's always maybe or not right now. I'm not the spender in the relationship either. I cite all of this to say I don't know what to do or how to handle it. Number one, if my man's out buying another bitch of Stanley. Fuck you. No, that's something especially if he's talking about her regularly. And now it's just like, your excuse to buy her that Stanley is that you bought something for like other people. No, you're not going to throw that into the mix because that is you're, you're doing something right under your partner's nose and that shit doesn't fly. You can't bullshit a bullshitter.

And once upon a time, I was a bullshitter. I just feel like Stanleys are kind of like an expensive thing for somebody who's fucking cheap. I'm pretty sure this Stanley was like 40 bucks. So you're buying a couple of them, you're talking about $100 or more. Yeah, I just, I don't think I can get behind that. I feel like he's probably helpingping hydrate her from them fucking I'm not that shit's not gonna fly with me. I'm not gonna fly with me

What did you imagine if you just? like your man came home and He's talking about said co-worker in a lengthy Conversation and then all of a sudden you find out that he's gone out and purchased Stanley's for his women friends? No, you don't have women friends and you're definitely not buying them a Stanley. I'm going to be real honest. My man doesn't need to work with women. Go get you a concrete job. Go get you a construction job where there's very few women. Go get you a job where, because men are so tempted all the time, the last thing you need

to do is develop a relationship with a woman at work. I would venture to say that women are as tempted as men. Really? Yeah. I've cheated in the past, as we know. I've said this before. The people that I've cheated on, I knew that I wasn't going to be with them and I feel like I cheated because I could.

But I don't necessarily feel like I was cheating because I was tempted. It was like, I don't necessarily feel like I was cheating because I was tempted. It was like, I don't know. It's like when I think back, I'm like, why did I cheat? Why did I? Why did you dissecting why Kale was a cheater? I always learn things about myself on the internet. People think I cheated on Joe. I never cheated on Joe.

Were you with Kale long enough to cheat? I guess living with him and seeing somebody at work was probably not, we weren't together, but that wasn't a good choice. You know what I mean? And so I'm just trying to, and also we were in high school, chill out. Thinking that I cheated on Jordan. Why did I cheat on Jordan? I think I was very young and immature, but I don't necessarily think that it was because

I was tempted. I think I was very young and immature, but I don't necessarily think that it was because I was tempted I think I was just very immature But like how did the how did the cheating like start? Like I don't feel like that's cheating on Joe With what you're saying. I feel like probably Slightly inappropriate considering the fact that you were living at the house, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. But do I think that that was cheating? No, I don't think that was cheating.

No. In fact, he cheated on me while I was pregnant. He literally cheated on me while I was pregnant. So I don't, to me- Do you believe in cheat back? See, that's a conversation that has come up lately with people around. I have never cheated back. Like I've been a cheater and I can tell you exactly

who I cheated on. Like I've been transparent about that. But cheating back to me is like, if you're gonna work it out and you're gonna be with this person, like you can't cheat back. Like that's gonna, that's, two wrongs don't make a right and two wrongs is not gonna make you feel better. And so I just, I don't believe in cheating back.

I don't. I don't necessarily believe in it either. I feel like that's like fighting toxic with toxic. But I will say this, when it comes to cheating, we'll say like, say someone in the relationship cheats, guy, girl, doesn't matter. Now you've cracked the foundation or you have created a betrayal that opens the window and the opportunity or the feelings or the other person to entertain other conversations and other being tempted, as you said, like women are more tempted.

I think that it cracks the foundation enough where the other person could entertain somebody else in that timeframe where you find out that they cheated and deciding what you're going to do, like, are we going to stay together or are we not? You've now cracked that foundation. So now you've opened that crack in the door that could possibly lead to cheating back. And I don't necessarily think that it would, you might not go into it thinking like, I'm going to cheat because you're in this like weird healing era or like trying to Process they get through it. No Mm-hmm. I've told you before I think state of limbo in

situations when when you're trying to process stuff and like you're in a healing time is the most toxic time yeah, and whatever you can do to get yourself out of the state of limbo as fast as you possibly can is highly advisable. Well, it's hard to sit in that discomfort. And I think that so often, and I'm speaking from experience, like from all the way back to when I was with Joe till now, there has been a cycle of cheating, whether it was me or them, right? That period of time where you're trying to figure it out. Like nobody wants to sit in that discomfort.

And I think that's where the work comes in and the work is not linear. It's, you could take steps forwards, take step backwards. Nobody wants to be uncomfortable. You just want the pain to go away and you just want the discomfort to go away. So whatever that looks like. I mean, Alessandra told me about this thing called the reclamation period where you think you want to get back together with the person who cheated to reclaim what's yours. And then there's also, I'm going to move on quickly. Getting under this person will help me get over that person.

And whether it works or it doesn't work, that's not up for everybody else to decide. How do we feel about the, to get over you I got under someone else? Do we think that that works more times than not, or it doesn't? Unpopular opinion, I think it depends on the person. I think that for some people it works and for other people at first it might feel like it works. And then as the newness of the relationship

wears off, that's where you're dragging the old baggage, if you will. I don't know what to call it, like trust issues, cheating conversations, like all of that. When the newness wears off of this new relationship or this new hookup, then that's where like the root of the problem lays. And if you are not fully healed or you're not over that situation, those old feelings will come back up.

And I'm not saying that's the case for everyone because you guys already know, I feel like there's a gray area, but. Well, I think a lot of getting out of situations that you know probably is not the healthiest thing for you to be in, but for whatever reason, like mentally and emotionally, you stay connected to that person. You're trying to remove yourself from that. So it's easier to talk to someone else to try to like move the needle. But if you are not fully healed from that

situation, you're always going to keep going back. Yeah, I would agree. I would agree with that. And exactly what you said about to get over someone, get under someone. I have dealt with a situation like that and it's exactly the way you described it. And people can say that, you know, what they want about me, but I'm speaking literally from experience and good or bad, take it or leave it. Like, I don't think there's been a time where I haven't owned the shit that I've done or the shit that I've put myself, you know, the circumstances I put myself in. And that is something that I have learned along the way.

put myself in and that is something that I have learned along the way. Can we go back to the Jordan situation? How did the cheating happen there? This is something I don't know about you. I think I wasn't, I didn't want Joe, but I didn't want anyone else to have him. And so I was being immature and it was just like, okay, yes, I'm with this new person and you're with that new person, but watch what I can do. It was very childish mentality. It was literally 18 years old. I didn't learn that lesson until probably into my 20s because I did it again with Javi and Lauren. That was not great. That was not great for me. You're just out here slinging cat.

Recycling bodies though. Like these people love. I just had this conversation on the Southern tea about me having an adjustment disorder. And I'm like, so everybody who wants to sit and talk about, I keep going back to the same drawing board. Yeah. The fuck I do. I just like, it's so funny to me because when people call me a hoe, oh, you have four baby dad, like I can, including my kids, fathers, I can count on my hands who I've slept with. And I'm pretty sure all of these relationships are public. Like I don't just sit here and act like I am out here fucking and having

kids with every single person I've slept with is just crazy to me because I'm like, I know what, whatever, whatever you all want to say. But I'm, it was really just recycling. But she's like, truly, how do you get out of the cycle of recycling therapy? Yeah. Therapy. Coffee Converse podcast is sponsored by better health. Lindsay, I think we can both agree we are all all benefiting and thankful for therapy, especially this week and last week. I know as I am seeking a new therapist. Honestly, this is a perfect time. I do not know what I would do without therapy. Kale just talked about how she's back in therapy. We're going to get you fit with the right

therapist and back on track. Yes, I would love to just chat for a second about the stigma surrounding men's mental health specifically. Men today face such immense pressure to perform, to provide, keep it all together. So it's no wonder that six million men in the US suffer from depression every year and it's often undiagnosed. No, that is such a scary statistic. I don't know about you, but I feel like women have really normalized the therapy conversation. We talk with our girlfriends, things like that, but I know men are trailing further behind and we all collectively need therapy, can benefit from therapy. You know I'm a firm believer that every single person

can most likely gain something from therapy. I don't know where I would be without it. Therapy has helped me so much just learning positive coping skills, how to even have boundaries. And it has empowered me to truly be the best version of myself. So it's not just for those people

who have experienced major trauma. Therapy is for everyone. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash coffee.

That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash coffee. Wait, my nanny told me the other day, I was just like washing dishes, talking to fancy pants. And she was like, I'm so sick of hearing about this therapy shit. We didn't do that back in the day. And I said, I understand, but that's also why you have some of the mentality

that you have. And I think therapy is a really good thing because it helps you get through life problems that you can't navigate on your own. And she's like, well, you just need to learn and navigate them. That is literally that generation's mentality. Here's the thing, because when I read the Nightingale by Chris and Hannah, that was part of it. That generation, the older generations, they feel like they didn't have problems because you just suppress, suppress, suppress, suppress. And I do get it to some degree because I think the flip side of it all is today, we're creating all these buzzwords because we're over labeling, over's, we're like, over labeling over using over sharing over like, we're so sensitive to so

many things that everything is a trigger. And it's like, everyone should be up on their toes and walking on eggshells because this person is triggered and that person is like, there's so much. So I do think that we need to find a balance between like, real life shit, and then therapy, because I do think that there is some level of like, we're over-therapizing everything, and we're over analyzing everything, and we're overdoing all of it. But then there's like a healthy balance. It's like, let's work through it. But that, that is literally what society is teaching, or

preaching, I guess, like everything to your point, like the buzzwords. I don't necessarily think that it's healthy for me to be dependent on my therapist to a point where I can't make a decision until I go to therapy. Like I have been in a situation like that before. Like I have told somebody, I can't make a decision on what you're asking me for until I have therapy this week. Like that is not, in my opinion, that's not very healthy.

I think if it's like a super, super top toxic situation that you're in, maybe, but like on regular everyday decisions, like absolutely not. Like I want to work through this and why I'm making the choice in therapy, but not to make the choice. Let's work through what the pros and cons are of whatever the heavy decision is. I'm back in therapy. I've been back in therapy for a few weeks now. I'm going through a lot right now in real life, but I'm not waiting to talk to my therapist

before I make, I think, sleep on it, take a couple days. I think that you really gotta therapy the power and the pause and really take a step back and evaluate the situation and decide from there on your own, but maybe work through it with your therapist, but to wait to go to therapy, I don't know. Also, I think my family has telepathy because my uncle and my cousin just texted me

within 10 minutes of each other. And I just, I'm like, you know what? the world just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Two people called me yesterday back to back and I was sitting. Wait, Kristin said no, they have Google. They have Google, they have the Facebooks. They have the book of faces. Truly. No, yesterday I was just sitting with one of my girlfriends and two people called me back to back that should not have been calling me back to back.

And she was like, do you think you need to get that? Because that's really weird. They called within a minute of each other. It's so weird because they're also related. My uncle and my cousin, obviously, well, I guess it's so weird because they're also related. Like my uncle and my cousin, obviously. Well, I guess it's not obvious because I have, they could possibly not be related. They are related and they both text, one texts me at 1052 and one texts me at 1058. Just damn. I want to get your opinion on what you would do in a situation like this. I saw

this article on People. It says woman feels like a guest in her own home due to mother-in-law's six months stays. So it says the woman says her mother-in-law rotates between sons homes for six months at a time, staying two weeks at a time. She describes feeling like a guest in her own home with no privacy or boundaries during these visits. Despite sharing her concerns, her husband dismisses them, leaving her emotionally drained and desperate for change. I could understand that. I've had people stay with me in between their trying times and things of that nature.

And so I do understand it to a certain degree, but at the point that you are feeling there has to be boundaries, and at that point, it's like I'm going to my husband with a deal breaker. Like it's less frequent visits. Maybe it's the compromise. Maybe it's not every two weeks. Maybe it's like you're coming to visit once a month. Maybe you're coming every other month, but there has to be a compromise because at that point it would, it would eventually become a deal breaker in the relationship, I feel.

So it says that this couple has been married for seven years and she went on Reddit and shared this. She said that the mother-in-law lives overseas and intends to move to our country permanently. And so while her visa is processing, she visits every year. And by visits, I mean, she stays for nearly six months rotating between her two sons' homes every two weeks, but for nearly six months rotating between her two sons homes every two weeks, but for a six month period. And that had been a routine for years.

It says from the beginning, she tried to be understanding, initially agreeing to the setup when her husband first asked if she'd be okay with it. I feel like this is a sticky situation. Like if she's on a visa. Also, like it sounds good in theory. And it's like, you may have agreed to it when you signed up for it, but the reality of it could be very different. And I don't think that's fair to then turn around and not check in with your partner and say, Hey, this has been going first of all, seven years, you're still new. Seven years. You're not even, you haven't

even been together 10 years yet. Like you should still be enjoying your marriage and like working that out. Cause I think, I don't know if this is still true, but I think the first step, like if you've made it to year seven is usually when they say like you're less likely to get divorced or whatever it is. I don't know what the like statistics are, but like year up to year seven is like hard or like seven might be the hardest or whatever. It's like at the point that you're starting to feel this way and you go to your husband and you're like, Hey, like I know that I signed up for this, but this is where I'm at now. And he dismisses it. Fuck. No. I mean, it's your home. So it should be your

place of peace for you and your spouse. Yep. And at the point that someone is disturbing your peace in your own home, that to me is enough of a reason to have a conversation. Do I think that it would be a deal breaker for me? No, because I just think that like in-law relationships are very interesting. I agree. Um, where is she coming from? Like she's like on a visa, you said? Yeah, it didn't say the country that she was coming from, but it said it.

Both sons are in the US. Both sons. And it says that the mother-in-law was a widow for nearly two decades. And she had grown to be comfortable with living with others for long stretches, rarely staying in her own home, even while overseas. She just prefers being around people. She said, I get that to an extent, but it's becoming too much. I can't get behind all of that. I think it sounds good in theory. You try it out. It's not working out. We need to make adjustments or we cannot be together. Let's just say I had an in-law and one of them passed away and the other one was a lonely little person.

I'm not going to care if they come to my house, but we're going to definitely sit down and have a conversation about what rules and regulations and how things are going to operate because you can't be doing fuck shit all day. Why I do fuck shit all day and don't do anything else. But I would have that conversation like from the jump. Yeah. Hindsides always 2020. Right. I get that. But nobody's coming in here and fucking disturbing my piece. Yeah. At the point that your home is no longer your piece and your safe space. Like you have to reevaluate for sure.

Do you feel most comfortable in your home? Like is that? That's why I don't like to leave my home. When people ask me, what are you doing? I'm not leaving my house. Even when I don't have my kids, I need to enjoy this mortgage. I need to enjoy my peace. I need to like, I love being home and I don't want to go anywhere else. I have grown, I used to not like it at home by myself when I didn't have Jackson because it just felt like a constant reminder that like he's not here.

So I would try to find other things to do or just things to like occupy my time away. And probably over the last six months, I have grown to love being here more than anywhere. I mean, that's part of what I was just saying, like going circling the conversation all the way back to the cheating and like the discomfort, sort of like that you trying to fill the void and occupy your time. I think there's also a healthy level of doing that versus sitting with the discomfort and sitting with the feelings so that you can process that and learn how to navigate it like Nanny would say. That you have to figure out how to do that too and sit with the discomfort.

And I think that I've started becoming more uncomfortable not being at home. Not being at home? Yeah. I was uncomfortable being here by myself because he wasn't here and it was just like a constant reminder when I would pass his room or watch TV or whatever it may be. Seeing all of his stuff made me just sad, so I didn't want to be here. Then after just hanging out with people, I think I got tired of it, you know? So then I'm like uncomfortable in that too. So I think the uncomfortability that I got in doing that made me more comfortable with being at home.

Agreed. Agreed. Lindsay, I don't know about you. I know that I live in shades all summer long, especially, but what makes me so angry is when they get caught up in my hair, whether my hair is up, whether my hair is down, the nose pieces are always getting caught there, but I found a solution to this, and that is thanks to Shady Rays. Their best-selling tangle-free collection

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No, I have so many. I am a fan of the Aviator frame. I think they this point I have like six pair of glasses from them. No, I have so many. I am a fan of the Aviator frame. I think they fit my face so well. So I have so many different colors. And the best part, they have the best protection program in all eyewear. Life happens and Shady Rays gets it. Whether you drop them, break them, or they mysteriously disappear like mine have a habit of doing, their lost and broken protection has you covered from day one. Plus, if you're not the perfect fit, you guys don't have to worry. You can exchange or return them for free within 30 days. So it's risk-free shopping with fast personal support. They have over 300,000 five-star reviews. So that is a lot of happy customers. So you guys can start shopping

for your next pair of sunglasses today and see why Shady Rays is the go-to choice. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for the season. Head to ShadyRays.com with code coffee for 35% off your premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer sun. Oh, I wanted to ask you, over the summertime, are you like kind of more flex with drop off and pick up times and stuff like that with your kids? Drop off and pick ups with who?

Well, with like your ex. No. You're not. No. I'm asking you this because I was talking to one of my girlfriends who is more recently divorced and she was like, Hey, um, how do y'all do stuff over the summer? I think she was just trying to get insight from different people who are, you know, navigating the same stuff. And I said, while we try to stay on our schedule, right? Like I always have Wednesday, Thursday, and he always has Monday, Tuesday. If he's got like a lot

of stuff going on for work on Monday, and I don't, and I'm just like dicking around the house, then I'm just gonna keep Jackson here because it doesn't make sense for him to go there while wills working 12 hours. I can see that. But would you get the time back at any point? We just don't count time. Like it always ends up coming out in the wash right so Thursday is my day and my night so he wouldn't go to wills for the weekend until Friday. Technically like the custody schedule says like after school hours. Okay. Um, but we'll wanted to leave to go to the lake

school hours. Okay. Um, but we'll wanted to leave to go to the lake on Thursday evening after traffic and asked if he could have him. And I said, yeah, you let me keep them all day Monday. Oh, so yeah, you guys are just like, it's just not like in stone, right? So yeah, I know I'll always get it back. Yeah, 1000%. But I think that depends on the co-parenting relationship. Like I obviously can't do that with Lux and Creed. So we're pretty very strict about Lux and Creed. But that's the only one that's super strict? Yeah. I mean, Joe and I as always will figure it out. If he's with Joe and there's something going on here, he can come. If there's something going on over there, he can go. And that's why Joe and I really don't have to talk these days. We really just don't.

We don't have anything to argue about. We don't have anything to talk about. And Isaac is old enough to say, hey, dad, can I go to mom's for this? If he wants to. It's not like I am at, I don't need to request it because it's if Elliot wants to go. Do you know what I'm saying? It's not like I'm inviting. When they're younger, like Lux and Creed's age, I'm not necessarily going to ask that because you can take their feelings into consideration, but it might not hold as much weight as the adult's decision where like, Elliot is 15 years old. So he's going to tell me, yes, I want to go to that kid's birthday party or no, I don't. And so, you know what I mean?

Like, I think it's a little bit different, but Joe and I have maintained at least that contact, like, you know, if we need to. Will's dad was funny not too long ago. He was visiting and it was actually when we went to New York. He was taking care of Jackson for a couple of days. Will called me and they were all in the truck together. His dad was like, y'all don't ever have a plan. Like nothing is like in a plan. No, because life isn't like that. And I think it really, it's nice to operate that way, but when it's high conflict, obviously you can't.

So it's not for everybody. It requires more communication for sure. Yeah, and I think it also requires the parents to put the kids in best interest always at the forefront. I agree. And I think that if you are willing to communicate and the best interest of your child is at the forefront of both people, I think that's when this type of situation works. Yeah. But I just didn't under, I was like, do other people do it like this? Or like, they don't. And I feel like it's more common that they don't.

I think it's more common. They don't or it's like you like more not professional like more not calculated more. Like you have to be like very transactional. Yeah. And like Joe and I used to be like that. We're like, you know, we went to the Bahamas and Joe was like, no, or like, you know, things like that. And it was frustrating. But I think also that comes with maturity too. Like we were not in a place back then where he was willing to give them to me on Father's Day because we were going to the Bahamas. You know what I mean? But like today he'd give

up, you know, you know, I'll celebrate, I would hope would celebrate for me, I'll speak for me, not him. I would give up Mother's Day with Isaac if they were going somewhere. And I'd celebrate with Isaac on another day. 10 years ago, you could you know, fucking way you were taking him on Mother's Day, you know what I mean? Like just dumb shit. I just think a lot of people get so lost in the anger and resentment that they have towards other person

that the kids best interest is kind of lost in that. In our custody schedule, it states that we're each to have Jackson on our birthdays. So he would be with me September 17th and then will April 25th. Doesn't matter whose day and time like that trumps, right? Yeah, that's like father's day and mother's day for us. So Will's parents had booked a trip for fall break. My birthday typically always falls within fall break. I'm not gonna tell his parents or him know that he can't take him because of my birthday.

Like I can celebrate my birthday To your point on another day But that comes with age and maturity and experience. That's not newly divorced new parents Myself included like I wasn't willing to be that flexible Ten years ago like you were by the book by the order. Yep, or we fought about it. Wait, did you see, I know you still have a lot of kids in car seats, but this was on parents.com. It says car seats in the US will soon need to meet

new federal safety standards. That's good. Yeah, it says the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration issued the regulation and companies must now comply by December 5, 2026. This is a new extension to the previous date of June 30, 2025. The change is to give manufacturers more time to test and make the necessary changes to their car seats. In the petitions for reconsideration, manufacturers stated that there are not enough test labs and small volume

manufacturers do not have their own sled systems designed and verify the products meet these new more advanced safety requirements. I just wonder like from a financial standpoint, if car seats are going to have these new regulations and stuff, does that mean that if you got pulled over and you didn't have a car seat that met the standards, do you get ticketed for that? I'm wondering if it's gonna be like a grandfathered in situation because I think that needs to be,

car seats are so expensive and not everybody is gonna have the ability to just go out and get a new car seat. So I would imagine that if you have this car seat that's from 2024, 2025, you're going to be able to use it because I mean, I think the car, one of the car seats I have in my car is $250. People don't have that to just go get a new one. So I'm wondering if it's like a grandfathered in situation and then any car seat after this

date meets the new standards is my guess. I just feel like for somebody like you that what you still have three or four kids in car seats Lux and Kreeter and boosters Creed is in a high back booster So I don't know if that's considered like a car seat and then I have Reovers and Valley are all in car seats five-point harness That's that's like thousands of dollars worth of car seats if you had to replace them. Yeah, I didn't know, um, when I had Jackson, I had no idea that car seats expired.

Oh yeah. Because I think because of the fire retardant and stuff like that. Also, like if they were in a car accident, um, yeah, they expire and people don't realize that. And they checked the, like at the hospital I went to, I don't know if it's everywhere, but they checked the date like on my car seat. Did they do that for you? No.

Yeah, they checked like in order for them to be able to discharge you with your baby, they check the date of the car seat. I did not know that at all. It's crazy. Okay, well, we have to do foul play. Hi ladies. First of all, I'm absolutely obsessed with this podcast. Well, thanks. I can't believe I'm sending this in. But I think about it on the daily and figured what

the hell let's share with the world. I'm a mom of four and after my fourth, my pelvic floor was wrecked. A few weeks after he was born, I went on my first solo grocery trip on the way home. I had to stop for gas while driving to the gas station. I had to pee so bad like so so bad I stopped at the gas station but this one there was not a place to go in I knew I couldn't drive further because I wasn't going to be able to hold it I remember we had some plastic cups in the trunk from a tailgate party and I decided I would climb the backseat pee in a cup and just throw it away at the gas station trash can well apparently my bladder was holding in a lot because I started to pee and it was coming out so fast there was so so much overflow. The cup was pissing. There was so much overflowed.

The cup I was pissing all over the floor in the backseat of the car. I called my husband and told him that I would be gone a little longer than planned went to the car wash and power wash the floor mats. I literally never told anyone about this. We've since sold that car and bought a new one, but I still think about it all the time Love y'all. Thanks for being a safe space Number one. Have you ever let your kids like pee in a bottle? Yeah yesterday. Wait Okay, will you What will you select Jackson do this all the time And I'm like, I don't love it.

It's not like something I'm like proud of, but there was literally no bathroom. So I didn't have a choice. I'm like, can we just pull over on the side of the road and open two doors and then let them pee in between the doors? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's better than possibly getting the head of your dick stuck in a bottle. I mean, yeah. Creed was real proud of his pee though.

He goes, look how much I got. Oh my God. He's like, look. And then here comes, I picked up Lincoln and he goes, why is that there? I'm like, because I can't, what do you want me to do with it? There was no bathroom. Like what am I supposed to do? I mean, I pulled over on the side of the highway and never even thought about a gas station

and just pissed on the highway. I think I'd rather piss on a highway than in a gas station bathroom. Same. Because some of them are fucking gnarly. Wait, I am the type of person that I will pass an exit if it looks like a gnarly, beat up gas station. Some of them don't even have bathrooms. You can't even use them.

So you've wasted time. I'm on the verge of peeing my pants and I can't even go into the bathroom here. I've got to find like a quick trip, a racetrack, a Buc-Ease, something like that. I feel like I would definitely go into a Buc-Ease to pee. That's like a mall of a gas station. Wait, have you been to Buc-Ease? No, I just heard about them. My sister brought me stuff when I went to Dallas in September. And so I've been dreaming about going, but I haven't been. You have to go to Buc-E's.

So next time we're together, we'll go to Buc-E's. Yes, I would love that. Okay, well, I am going to hop from here. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app. Follow in right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community.

We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. This summer, Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Summer of cinema is here. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like gladiator Mission impossible Beverly Hills cop good burger and Transformers dark of the moon

Bring the action with you and stream for free from all your favorite devices Pluto TV stream now pay never Hi, I'm Adam Rippon and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent-free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments, I probably should have kept to myself nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid-flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that.

There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I? Unclear. But if you've ever laid awake at night, cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations, you found your people. Entruse of Thoughts with Adam Rippon

is available now wherever you get your podcasts.