Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Open Phone Policy, Owing Time & the Nashville Shooting

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

CC277: Kristen and Kail are stranded in Dallas and Kail was convinced this would be the end of all their lives. She explains the chaos! Lindsie brings up the open phone policy in relationships which Kail can relate to, and no matter how much society might want to keep old gender roles in place, Kail and Lindsie WILL NOT stay in the kitchen.. mostly because they don't like cooking but that's besides the point!Lindsie talks about the feeling of owing time to your relationships, Kail has an interesting exchange with her little ones regarding Whitney Houston, and this week's Foul Play has Lindsie spilling some good tea!Our hearts are heavy, we're sending love and prayers to the families of the Nashville shooting victims. Lindsie explains how she will approach the topic with Jackson. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthChime: Get started at chime.com/convosGreen Chef: Visit GreenChef.com/convos60 and use code convos60 to get 60% off plus free shippingStamps: Visit Stamps.com and use code COFFEE for a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale!

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you. This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Good morning Lindsay Chrisley. Are we on air? We're on the air. Good morning. How are you? I hope you're ready for this shit show of a story right now. So Kristen was going to Austin, Texas and

I begged her to let me come with. I was not invited at all and I was like just please let me go like I want to be there too and to get on the plane. We get on the last-minute flight and would I tell you that this fucking sick-ass flight had so much turbulence that I had my head in my lap ready to vomit. I pulled the puke bag, the waist bag out of the seat in front of me and was holding it because I was going to throw up. It was insane. And me and Kristen look at each other and were like this is not good. This is not fucking good. I truly thought to myself that we were all going to go down on this plane. So not only that but just

to start this trip the flight was an hour delayed. So we have a connecting flight from Dallas to Austin and Austin that the flight from Dallas to Austin was an hour and that kept so first we because our original flight was delayed that one we missed but then we didn't miss it because it kept getting delayed and then delayed again and then it would get delayed again and again and again and so with the turbulence and then almost missing it but then not missing it we were like what the fuck so we get on the app from the plane and we see two you can change your flight for free. So we were like perfect we'll get on the

next connecting flight to Austin and it says there's two seats left in first class so we're like bet we'll get those. Kristen's like because we didn't book our flight together we booked them separate. So we had to both get on the app at the same time and it she shows me the two seats. We go to book them at the same time we both click it at the same time. Her says confirmed mine says I can't get on the flight so I'm like okay like it's fine like you continue without me I'll stay in Dallas like it's fine it's not a big deal but then she's like what the fuck like this is just a lot that one gets delayed like what I don't even

know what the situation was but then she's like well let me just because the other one the original one is now fine it's just gonna be delayed I'll just try to get back on that one. Long story short we are in Dallas stuck in Dallas we had to cancel the reservation for the hotel in Austin which was like 350 fucking dollars and then they were like well we actually can't do it you need to go through management and we're like oh you said you're gonna transfer us to a manager and then they never did. So it was just like you know all of this was kind of out of everybody's control so like I understand like the weather

policies and like things being out of you know everybody's control but like it's not also in our control either so what do we do in a situation like this so long story short Kristen did you ever did you ever get the money back for that hotel? No not yet so we still have to call management and we're literally at the airport at DFW. Oh so you guys still have not made it to Austin? No no ma'am. Oh okay I somewhere that got lost in translation I thought that you guys had actually made the connector and no we never made it so we're at a hotel in DFW and we were actually gonna try to leave today but because the when we

called the airline to explain the situation which obviously they understood they were like okay like that's not a problem you know we'll refund you for the connecting flight and get you you have to be on the first flight back home like that's their policy is like we'll get you on the next flight but it has to be home and we were like but those times don't work because we both have to work today like that's the problem was like I have to record she has work to do and so she ended up working with us thank fucking God and so we're able to leave tomorrow but well I'm leaving tomorrow are you leaving tomorrow okay so we're

both leaving tomorrow but long story short is a fucking shit show getting here so you guys are actually never going to Austin no we're never going to Austin now wow that sounds like a lot of chaos I'm glad that honestly I was just eating a patty melt last night and not doing what you guys were doing eating a what patty melt what the fuck is that huh I've never had a patty melt I've never even heard of a patty melt oh hold on ma'am way is it spelled P-A-D-D-Y or P-A-T-T-Y patty melt okay shut up you guys okay a patty melt is a sandwich consisting of ground beef patty with melted cheese topped with caramelized

onions between two slices of griddled bread it is so it's a cheeseburger no it's not it was unclear when the patty melt was invented but records exist of them having been commercially served as early as the 1940s it's a form of a cheeseburger no because it's it has properties of a grilled cheese also because it's like grilled on both sides like have you never been to waffle house and gotten a patty melt I've never been to waffle house period that's the first problem never been to waffle house so I was eating a patty melt with someone last night and I said person was like yeah patty melts are so good I used to

allow myself to have one a week in college and I would put ketchup on it and then we got in this debate on like what is the proper condiment for a patty melt and its mayonnaise yes right off the top of my head for what you just described I would put mayonnaise on that right I don't I don't I can't say whether or not sometimes I'd like the mayonnaise and ketchup together but like from what you described I feel like mayonnaise is a good one you know what I think you guys should do so that you're productive today I think that you need to research places in Dallas that have patty melts and go and try one we'll

see the problem we're having right now is that we tried to uber-eath and and or door-dash they do not service this area and so we don't we also don't have a car so the chances of us leaving this hotel today are slim to none the fact that you guys did all of the things that you did to literally sit in a snuggie at a hotel sounds absolutely horrifying like I hate that for you I also hate it I also always try to prevent flights that I have to do a connector well so we did we tried Kristen tried to but there was no direct flights to Austin there was none like why I don't know and that's like and I was like I because we flew

American too and I actually preferred Delta ever since you told me you prefer Delta I flew Delta and I loved it and there was no there was there there was flights direct flights but they were booked so we had this was our only option that was just your first problem at the point that you saw the direct flight was already booked you should have known it was gonna be a shit show and immediately like it's just not a plan yeah once I told Kristen I was like if you think that the turbulence is bad right now I said just wait till we get on a smaller flight to Austin we both looked at each other we were like there's

no fucking way but the weather didn't allow it allow for it anyway like why why is turbulence a thing I need to mention something really briefly that does not need to be a long-winded conversation but just like a minor and I feel like I'm speaking for all the fucking people and public school is not free okay I don't know who decided or who thought that it was a good idea to start the rumor that public school is free but it's not the amount of things that get sent home for like costume type of outfits and dress codes for certain events and things like that I have so many children and I just spent over a

hundred and fifty dollars on two of my kids because they have a dress code for an event at school and we don't have those things and it was very specific in terms of color and what need what it needs to be and we didn't have those things and so yes I could have gone to Goodwill and that could have been an option but I was afraid of like going to multiple and then not finding what I needed still because it's kind of out of season and so I just wanted to share my frustration with you and the rest of coffee combos listeners that whether you have money or you don't have money public school is not free and ran I have a

lot to say about that actually because one I always feel so sad for yes the kids that cannot participate because their parents don't like have the financial ability to buy some of these items that you might not just like have randomly in your closet so that's number one I think that we need to normalize dress-up days that are things that all kids can participate so whether that be like mix match socks or something like that like regular items that you would just regularly typically have at home yes that's number one number two Kristen and I were actually having a private conversation when we were

looking over my schedule because she was like I have never seen a school have so many like events that Jackson signed up for or like dress-up days or whatever like they're always dressing up and she was like I don't know if Kale like just doesn't tell me about it if they don't participate or if it's just like not as much but it is a lot and like I can remember specifically growing up that we had pajama day in fourth grade and I wanted like a nice set of pajamas to wear to school and my parents weren't at this time of my life were not like financially what I would say above average at all like I mean they were

raising at this point for children and very middle of the road going to buy like specific pajamas for a school dress-up day just probably wasn't part of the budget right but my dad took me to Gap and I got a specific pair of pajamas to wear to this dress-up day and did I have to go to Gap no but like I don't even know if they had target back then if they did I didn't have a target back then I didn't know about target target until I was an adult we didn't go to it and like Gap I guess was like the next best thing and so we went to it and it was like $75 or something like that for a pair of pajamas I felt so

bad but like I also didn't want to miss out and be the only kid not in a pair of pajamas because growing up I didn't really wear pajamas I just wore like t-shirts to bed right right right right no to answer well I don't know if it was a question but Kristen you said that Kristen doesn't know if we do it typically I don't participate because like there was a speed I guess it was like a spirit week situation and it was like dress like the 70s the 80s the 9th like all of that and I was like I'm not doing this like I'm not doing this for all my kids and honestly my kids don't if my kids want to do it I will just

do it but it's not really in the budget because I don't have some of those things laying around because my kids styles are very like athleisure athletic outside of Isaac very much athleisure that's all they like we don't have any special stuff and I don't say this to be like an asshole like I'm not I hope I'm not coming off as an asshole or anything but it just it does make me sad because I came from a place I'm not having any money you know what I mean like I came from a place where I was on government government assistance welfare all of these things and I know that there are people still out there

that have that and their kids go to the same school as mine and I know they can afford it that's not really like can we like you suggested let's come up with ideas that you know you know people have these things laying around you know and like Lincoln Lincoln told me and I had to double check the schedule so for the one event that's coming up next month I said he said it had to be a long sleeve button-down a white long sleeve button-down and I was like I don't I don't think so like I think it could just be any white shirt and I'm sure any white shirt will suffice but the fact that he was so specific in a long sleeve white

button-down I was like you got to be freaking kidding me and then there was a whole fiasco with that because I didn't realize I was like okay links Lincoln and Lux both have the same and and I go on Amazon I get a shirt for both of them not realizing I accidentally ordered a long-sleeve girls button-down with like shit so then I had to cancel that and then I replaced an order I got them the same shirt and boys well then Lux's wasn't going to ship until the end of April and I was like well shit now I got to cancel that one and I got to redo that one well then they didn't have shoot they didn't my kids don't have

solid color shoes and that wasn't part of the dress code they could wear I guess they could wear any shoes but then again like if I'm gonna spend the money on these outfits they have to be nice so that they can re-wear them or their brothers can wear them later on too so it's like there's one event about that and I don't remember having that like growing up I remember when we were you know we didn't do the dress-up days it was more like worksheets that were associated with like a theme yeah yeah yeah we were doing and then it would be like a packet so like if we were studying for example like bears or

something I remember doing that and like second or third grade we just got like this packet of all these like coloring sheets and activity sheets and crossword puzzles and like all that kind of stuff and we did that it wasn't like we were dressing up to be a part of that and everybody like had the same thing and I'm big on inclusion like every single person have access to the same thing at school I a hundred percent agree with you on that a hundred percent I will tell you something else that like makes me sad sometimes too when I really start to think about it when I packed Jackson's lunch like I think about if there's a

child sitting next to him that might want his lunch instead of them getting school lunch that kills me you know I'm Lincoln and Luxa school they offer free lunch and free breakfast so I'm like yes it might not be the best but they also cut up healthy snacks in the cafeteria and they send them home with all the students all really yes so every day the other day I was cracking the fuck up because I don't know if Luxe told his teacher like he really liked it or someone in his family really liked it he pulled out five bags of cut-up melon and he sat in the car and he plopped it right on my center console was like here

this is for you as if I'm starving and I need melon I don't even like honey do like I don't tell your teacher that's so funny honestly honey do I'm glad that you said that because no one needs to argue with me when I say this this is a fact not an opinion it is absolutely the worst melon I hate honey do and I hate cantaloupe oh no I don't hate cantaloupe and if you are from the south you always eat cantaloupe like it's always on your table when you have like breakfast or you have like southern dinner it's always like a cut-up fresh cantaloupe from the produce stand yeah I hate cantaloupe it has no flavor it's so yes it does if you

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Rules is messy now? It's always been messy. I'm Jacks Taylor the OG Pump Rules villain and I'm Brittany Cartwright wife of the OG villain and we've got a new podcast when reality hits. We'll definitely be talking about Vanderpump Rules past and present and oh my scandal ball. And you'll get a look at what life is like for us now as we figure out marriage and parenthood little cruisy and friendships and definitely feuds. It's our real reality with and without cameras. It's sometimes with special guests like our celeb friends former castmates and other veterans of reality TV. So listen to and follow when reality hits with us

Jacks Taylor and Brittany Cartwright at Apple Podcasts Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to read this from the Facebook group really quick because this actually happened to someone in my personal life not too long ago as in like last week. And so when I started reading it I was like wow this is really crazy. Does anyone else go through their significant others phones when they are sleeping? I did last night and found a few things that I'm not okay with but I don't know how to bring it up without having to admit to looking through his phone. Here's the thing I'm not sneaking to look through your phone.

If I feel uneasy about something I should be able to ask you and say hey like I really don't feel comfortable with something that happened. Do you mind showing me your phone? If they say no then we have no business doing this and if they say yes and they show me and it's nothing then you know thank you thank you so much. Like now I don't feel the need to go through your phone. Have you ever gone through a phone while someone was sleeping? Yeah I definitely have in college but it wasn't because I was suspecting cheating. It was because I was convinced that Will's family was like talking shit about me and I wanted

to prove it. I'm not gonna lie to you I have definitely asked I'm like does your family talk about me? So I completely understand that. And then I found text messages in his phone where someone in his family because Will didn't go on a guy's trip because he wanted to be home for the weekend. They were calling him Mr. Chrisley and it pissed me off. So like then I don't think I ever went on his phone again because I got so pissed off by like what I read. It wasn't gonna change anything in our situation so it wasn't really something that I necessarily needed to read. I brought something on myself that wasn't even

necessary and quite frankly it wasn't even my business because I wasn't part of the text messages. But in a situation to where I'm in a relationship that I feel like I need to go on your phone because I think you are cheating or doing something that is crossing any types of lines or boundaries immediately we have a problem that I have a feeling that something like that's going on. Right. Like we have a problem before I ever even go through the phone and at this stage of my life and what happened in my last relationship I'm going to trust my gut instinct and if I think something's going on I'm immediately gonna act on it

because I think by me not acting and playing cool girl and being like I'm not gonna be crazy and I'm not gonna be this it was a disservice to myself. Yeah. It prolonged a situation that didn't need to continue going on and honestly you should be able to have... Have we talked about the open phone policy? Not that I can recall. I feel like at this age at 33 years old I don't have anything to hide from anybody that I would be with. I think that there are certain things on my phone that I'm like okay to protect someone else's privacy like if I was texting you for example or I was texting Kristen and we were you know like

talking shit about our relationship and we were just like having girl talk. I don't think that somebody that I'm with should go and read those messages because that's an invasion of the other person's privacy but if they are on my phone looking at anything else I don't really care. Right. Like I don't care if you're going on my phone because I'm not doing anything on my phone that I shouldn't be doing on my phone. Right. I definitely I like the open phone policy. I didn't always like it but I feel like the older I get and the less secretive I want to be and the less shit that I feel like I I mean we all know that I've cheated. I've

been cheated on so like there's definitely been times where I was doing not even necessarily cheating but doing questionable shit. I'm at a point now where it's like if anyone asked to go through my phone just not even go through it but like can I use your phone. I don't need to like worry and we should have an open phone policy. Everyone's entitled to privacy but if you're not doing anything wrong then you're not worried about that and I actually saw a man talk about this on TikTok a while back and he was saying that he was like if your spouse like your life partner your lover this person

that you share a bed with a home with children with whether it's a man woman whatever if they can't go through your phone at any given time that is a problem and it's not about privacy. It's not about I personally think that it it really is about control when you don't want somebody going on your phone or they don't want you going on theirs it might not even necessarily yes or they may be trying to control what they don't want you to see because they might be doing something wrong yes but I do think that it boils down to control more than privacy. I agree and that's a problem in and of itself right like

that's something that you have to go to therapy about and it's like if you're truly not hiding something which I've been guilty of like previously getting upset if someone goes through my phone even though there's nothing on there because I don't know how something could be you know misconstrued and it was a control thing I'm not hiding anything but I don't want you to touch my shit and that's a problem do I need to be in this relationship if I don't even feel comfortable with you touching my phone or picking it up or putting it in your pocket you know things like that so therapy is always a good option. Wait how

do you feel and then we'll move on from this how do you feel about being with someone who is like a new partner let's say like Elijah for example okay hot neighbor we love him let's say that he goes on your phone okay do you feel like communications with your ex-husband or somebody that you're co-parenting with is an off-limit search because in my past relationship one of the main threads like it was it was a go on my phone behind my back and I'm legitimately doing nothing so like wait until I get in the shower you know wait till I'm out of the room whatever like pick up my phone go through it and always go through

my ex-husband's thread so he felt threatened by will I would only assume so that one's weird because the way that he did it I feel like waiting until you get in the shop like if you wanted to know and you weren't hiding anything you can just ask me I personally don't care because I don't have text communication with two out of three and the first one is like I don't even consider him like an ex like we just had an immaculate conception but also on the same hand it's like if I'm talking to one of my children's fathers about something regarding the kids or sometimes personal feelings do get involved still

unfortunately like I just it is what it is that is its own complicated mess and as long as you're not being unfaithful I do feel like why would your new partner even go there if they're one they're probably gonna hurt their own feelings because they're gonna have opinions and not be able to be included I wouldn't love if Elijah did it but he better not get mad at me over anything that he sees like I could read right now on this podcast I could literally scroll through my baby daddy text messages I do feel like it's a little bit off limits yeah I mean I just think that if we are texting and most of our co-parent our

text messages are regarding co-parenting if you're not co-parenting with us then like why are you reading yeah because you don't right because you don't get to have an opinion at that point and I'm not asking you for an opinion and you don't need to have an attitude with me all day because of something that you saw in a conversation that didn't concern you and you're upset about it like that would bother me and then this particular situation that happened it was like such a far back scroll on the text messages that there was references to things that happened that were going on with Will and I prior to me being with

this person and they got upset about something that happened before them so I'm like that's just like it's not happening now so like why are we why are we concerned I just think that that's a messy and like a slippery thing I would never go on if I was with somebody that had kids and an ex-wife right you're not gonna go look at their thread that's the last thread I'm honestly clicking on like I'm typing in keywords in the search bar like I'm typing in sex in the search bar I'm typing in like all these things I'm taking my own name in the search bar to see what type of shit they're talking about you wait can

I just really quickly not that long ago I'm not gonna say when but to your point about the family talking shit I did type in my own name and I also typed in she just sh e because I wanted to know if they like you just said she referring to me absolutely nothing came up so I was like oh I cannot I have done that this is another one from the Facebook group it says stop saying women don't cook like grandma cuz some of y'all men don't pay bills like granddad either case closed I saw that one and I was crying because I was like but honestly though like these men like Jen not Gen Z what are we what Millennials Gen Z like they're I don't

know about Gen Z actually but Millennials specifically like you want to do this 50-50 thing but you want her to have like the gender role of like what women did in the 50s but you're not even paying bills like men did in the 50s so you can fuck all the way off that's what she said I cannot I actually hate gender role stereotypes like absolutely hate them because sometimes like someone just might be better at something than someone else and why wouldn't they be taking on that task right like totally when Will and I were married he was I won't say a better laundry person than me he was just more

efficient than I was right so why would we not choose for the more efficient clothes cleaner than because I'm a woman I need to do the laundry or you know because I'm a woman I need to clean the toilets or like why no I love that I love what you just can you just say it again so I can get it clipped so Kristen can clip it for me you said why wouldn't the person who's better at it or what did you say why would the person who is more efficient at a task not do said task versus you doing it and not being as efficient right so like I'm not great at cooking if my partner is a phenomenal cook why would I cook we're

why are we all doing a disservice to ourselves to fit in a gender role period and I that's what I try to teach my kids like that's what and I never know if I'm getting through to them but I'm like you guys have to learn all of these things like you guys have to learn to clean properly you guys have to learn to cook you guys have to learn to do all the different things at least a little bit because you don't know if your partner when you grow up whether it's a man or a woman you don't know what they're gonna be good at so you need to be able to do a little bit of everything at the very least and then you know when

you're an adult you decide who does what because of who's better who's more efficient and unfortunately that sucks for the couples that like one person is literally better at everything because then how do you divide and conquer that's really tough especially you know in my case like I can clean I'm not super efficient in laundry I can do it but and my cooking is very minimal so like my partner but I but I'll pay all the bills and that's fine like I'm okay with it so am I them am I the man from 1950s or like so one time we were having like a group family call I think my sister was on it my dad was on it my mom was on it

that's so I hope to do that when my kids get older we were all just like shooting the shit and my dad was like they were laughing about my lack of cooking skills and I was like I honestly like hate it like everything about it I hate I can I do it yes do I like to do it no do I feel like I am the most efficient at it and like I spent way more time than what I should be doing where someone else could just like go in there chef it up like be done with it whatever might I was like okay if I pose to you if you could work let's say two or three hours extra or cook dinner what are you gonna choose I'm working the job for two or

three hours extra versus cooking dinner like unless I have a meal kit delivery service where I'm not having to go to the grocery store or something like that or literally a cheese quesadilla don't ask me because the answer is immediately now there is nothing that I love more than a man who knows how to use a grill and knows how to use a grill properly because I can do a protein and a vegetable and be done if they're with you on that I'm so with you on that I would rather work five extra hours than to come home and try to figure out a meal plan and do all of this like you said unless there's a meal delivery service or it's like a

pasta please do not count on me to cook please don't I don't want to do it I don't want it my kids probably wouldn't prefer my cooking like if it came down to like mirror their dads I think the only one that would that I would trump would be hobby because hobby cook for shit like it's awful so I would have a cook he doesn't well that can't be awful if he doesn't cook kill it's just like he's oh I mean like it would be awful if we relied on him oh okay yeah we would be we would be you ever see like um like the birds that are starving out in the wild and they all flock to something or like you know stray cats and dogs it's

they're called a buzzard yeah like we would be like that so I could not you know sometimes you just have to leave cooking to the experts but I'm not an expert I am just a regular person cooking every day healthy meals with green chef it's been really really great for sports nights we have baseball basketball and flag football right now in our house and so game days practice days green chef comes in handy and I know that you have talked about this to Lindsay I literally just said a few minutes ago that the only time I'm ever cooking is if I have meal kits and from green chef I ordered this week the

Mediterranean turkey burgers and it has Brussels sprouts with it which is one of my absolute favorites I'm a big turkey burger fan and then the spicy beef and broccoli noodle bowl I'm also a big fan of bowls and they've got a bunch of good ones so those are two that I'm trying this week let me know how you like the spicy noodles and beef one because that sounds really good and I'm a I'm a big noodles person so sounds really good if you guys want to try this you can go to greenchef.com commvo 60 and use code combo 60 to get 60% off plus free shipping again go to greenchef.com commvo 60 and use code combo 60 to get 60

percent off plus free shipping this is the number one meal kit for eating well wait while we're on the topic of relationships this is something that I've struggled with in relationships and I saw this TikTok and this is the quote from it I can post it so that you guys can watch like the thing in its entirety but not gonna play it it says I don't care how long you've been together the years mean nothing if you're being made a full-out of behind your back doing this behind your back doing that the years mean nothing and that's something that I was very hung up in my marriage and caused my marriage to probably last

longer than what it should have and it's also something that I hung on to even though a year doesn't seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things because I had invested a year's worth of time in suburban dad I felt like because of that I owed the situation even though the disrespect was there and the lack of trust was there I felt like because there was time invested in because there was an investment with the children that I owed the situation more time I don't know if I've ever felt that felt that about the time because I've I've always but I've always read like you know you can't stay with someone because you have

history and I feel like I've always been kind of that kind of person it's never been about the history like I will leave someone I mean y'all have seen it throughout the years I'm teen mom like I'll leave someone when I'm not happy I don't care I mean like the hobby was the longest where it was like I stayed for far too long but I need to get my ducks in a row Chris I was just like absolutely in love with him but it was never about the years that I had invested it was just about like how I felt about him but I do understand why people hold on like I I'm not gonna say names but I do know someone who has been with someone's on

and off since high school and he had two babies on her and you know all of this but she will still stay by his side to this day for the simple in my in my outside perspective opinion whatever perception is because of the history there's nothing more than just the history and that doesn't make sense to me I feel like that when you get wrapped up in staying focused on the history versus the other things that like should matter right like the trust the respect the all the other things that are on your list of like this is what I need out of a relationship and those needs aren't being met but you're

staying because oh I've invested X amount of time that to me is a very toxic pattern to get yourself in I've been in it multiple times I'm a very bad believer I'm a very good recycler and I think that it is truly because of my childhood and me not having a mother there growing up even though Julie was a mother figure and she did adopt me it was very different because my dad didn't allow her to take on a role as a mother even though she was there my dad was like this is my kid you know he had very set rules and boundaries there so I think because I did not have that that I know what it feels like to be left and

so I have a really hard time leaving that's so interesting I think I'm the opposite I have an easier time leaving because I I think my mom didn't leave when she should have my mom went through I had a lot of step-dads so my mom did leave but I don't necessarily think that she left because she wanted to I think she left because they left her kind of thing where like I don't let them leave me I've left every single person that I left every single person including Jordan I think that there are levers and then there are stairs right are you a lever are you a stayer I'm a stayer I think even though I ultimately ended my

marriage and ended another relationship it took a long period of time for me to be able to do that and to like make that decision and I get in my own head of you know because I have invested this much time and because we have these memories I need to like figure out how to make it work to stay and like make it work yeah no I and I understand that I do understand that tell me about your kids and Whitney Houston I was just about to transition to that okay so I need your thoughts on this because I'm very open with my kids but I think I'm open in the sense that like I do like to be the initiator of those open conversations I

don't necessarily think that those conversations need to be happening at happening at school like kind of like our conversation about sex ed like we need to be having those conversations with our kids at home and then the school could maybe follow up in health class right but like to start the conversation I don't really know so Lux and Lincoln go to the same school they're in third grade in kindergarten and Lincoln comes home from school he's in my back seat Lux is in the back seat and he tells me that Whitney Houston you know was the singer he learned about her music class but she she died in the

bathtub from an overdose on drugs and I didn't know and I was just like kind of taken aback by that and so then I have my kindergartner in the car and he said Mrs. so-and-so died died from drugs because he did he miss misunderstood what Lincoln said and also he's in kindergarten so he can't he doesn't know who Whitney Houston is so I don't really know how I feel about that whole situation because yes I probably would have told my kids about Whitney Houston and her legacy and all of that and then also follow it up with and then she passed away from drugs just to kind of open the door to a conversation about

drugs and maybe I wouldn't have done it like this year like maybe it would have come up later on but I just don't know how I feel about that part of it being discussed in my son's third grade music class I mean I I think that it is I probably would feel that exact same way if Jackson came home saying that but then also you got to consider it is part of music history and to leave it out you know I could imagine the school would probably say oh well then we didn't complete the actual course on Whitney Houston or like whatever without you know having a beginning middle in the end but could they have said you know she

was she passed away like she passed away on it's unexpectedly like did they have to add the drugs thing for third grade because that's definitely I've talked to my kids about fentanyl I've talked about you know Lux has specifically Lux has been asking a lot about my mom and so I have talked to him about you know my mom my mom's sick my mom my mom drinks alcohol my mom's on drugs like and drug is also an alcohol I mean alcohol is also a drug and kind of explaining those things to him but like I just don't know that in like school I feel like that just could have been left out of a third grade classroom it's not like it was

Isaac and music class in seventh grade and they were like explaining it that way and then they have health class where they can learn about like ODs and drugs and things like that like I feel like I would have been more comfortable with it at Isaac school versus elementary school I think unfortunately because of our society today that schools have become progressive in that way of introducing kids to these types of things in school so it's not the first time they're hearing about it when they're saying no to drugs because they have red ribbon week you know dare remember when we talked about dare yeah but dare

didn't start from I feel like dare didn't start for me until fifth sixth grade I don't remember there elementary school was it yeah it was an elementary school okay so it's not in your head so yeah I guess you could be right and so in my opinion if our kids are gonna be exposed to it through you know the internet or articles that pop up or whatever wouldn't you rather than be exposed to it in an educational classroom where they have the opportunity to be able to ask questions versus them hearing about it reading about it not really understanding it not having an opportunity to ask questions feeling weird so they don't

want to ask questions I would rather it be from an educational standpoint in a safe environment that's a good point that's a really good point yeah I mean I just didn't know how to feel about it I don't and then Lux in you know kindergarten like the music teacher died from drugs you know I think that if it was just Lincoln telling me this I'd be like oh wow like you know but then Lux adding his two cents because he misunderstood and you know it wasn't Lincoln's fault that he brought it up in front of Lux and Lux couldn't you know he doesn't know any different but yeah I mean I guess an early intervention I mean if you explain

to the kids what drugs are and what they can do early you know versus middle school when they're already maybe starting to hear about it in experiment or high school and their experience you experimenting yeah I mean that is a good point that's why I wanted to get your thoughts I feel like you'd have like a very neutral or like I don't know good thoughts on it so well and I think about you know the back to the sex ed thing it was just when I was growing up in my household my dad didn't have those conversations with us girls and it was just basically like the forbidden fruit like you just don't do it so we don't

need to provide education around this because it's just something that your specifically not going to do and I was talking about on this other and tea how I there are certain things that I parent differently than I was parented and these are some of the things I think coming from a place of education because our kids are going to hear about these things they're going to be exposed to these things outside of your control so why not educate them the best way that you possibly can age appropriately before they're exposed to it somewhere else or you risk the chance of not educating them at all and then there be the

experimentation side whether it be with drugs sex you know whatever and then it's a little too late right yeah I mean once I started having the conversation about sex it was far too late so that didn't really work out for me yeah that is a very good point so alright y'all you guys know that I talk a lot about my finances on here especially with Kristen's help and sometimes I do feel like some of my financial goals are a little out of reach because I am constantly struggling with online ordering and things like that and I did have a struggle a little bit with building my credit and I don't

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regular on-time payments results may vary see chime.com for details out of network ATM withdrawal fees may apply except at money pass ATMs in a 7-11 or any all-point or Visa plus Alliance ATM. Wait can you tell me about your 9 minutes per day of undivided attention because Kristen and I were talking about focus mode on the Southern T this week and how she was telling about this tick talk about basically putting your phone away for an hour and like doing these tasks so I want to hear about this nine-minute method because it seems different than what we were talking about there. So this man I'm pretty sure

he was like a child therapist of some sort or some side some sort of medical background or psychiatry background and he was talking about nine minutes of undivided attention per child per day and he said specifically that the two most important times were the first three minutes after they wake up and the first three minutes before they go to bed and then the other three minutes like maybe after school or whatever so maybe like the third set of three minutes could be at after school or something like that and so he was just saying like those are the ones that they're gonna remember they're gonna have the most

impact and I thought to myself like nine minutes is not hard to put your fucking phone down and like spend that nine minutes and we've talked about that before like the undivided quality attention and I do struggle with that with the kids because it's always chaos but he specifically said in the morning when they wake up and before they go to bed and those are the two most chaotic times for me and so everyone's I say all of that to say like everyone goes through trauma every every parent no matter how much trauma you went through as a child you are gonna inflict some sort of trauma on your own children

unintentionally and I'm thinking to myself like I've done so much trauma I'm sure to my children is that gonna outweigh these nine minutes that I'm trying to give undivided to each child am I getting through to my child am I spending enough undivided attention with them and then on top of that I'm like you know at night when I am putting the kids to bed I I lay with Creed I put him to bed I lay with Lux I put him to bed and then over the last several months Lincoln has been asking me to lay with him and so then after I put Lux to bed I'm laying with Lincoln and I just feel so am I giving them enough like is that

three minutes enough am I doing it correctly is this gonna outweigh the traumas that I've given them or that I've put on them you know it just feels like a like a lot nine minutes is not a lot but in the grand scheme of things is a lot especially for people with multiple children so now I'm going to apply this one-hour rule where I put my phone down in focus mode and get just task done for an hour like anything I can get done done for an hour so I'm gonna do that and I'm gonna try this nine minute of undivided attention I think it's definitely easier for parents that have one child because it's nine

minutes right for you with multiples that's how many minutes like 18 30 yeah whatever like 40 yeah 40 well it's almost 10 minutes so 10 minutes each is you know 40 and that's fine and it doesn't seem like a lot but you know Lincoln asked me to play horse the other day and I was like you know what this is you know my time to shine with him so none of the other kids came out and they didn't want to but I noticed like Creed will be like play with me and I'm like okay so there I have to you know do that but it's hard and I just I get nervous that like I could do all of these good things that I'm supposed to do to

minimize trauma and like really bond with my kids but also is the trauma gonna outweigh you know that because I saw another TikTok that was very separate and completely unrelated and she was like you could take your kids to Disney World but they still will remember the time you smacked them for you know not following the rules three years prior and I'm like well damn like what is there any you you can't you can't win for losing so it's interesting that we're talking about all these things that we want to implement in our life because when I was going through my daily devotional today it was titled the

five-minute rule and it says I read about a five-minute rule that a mother had for her children they had to be ready for school five minutes before it was time to leave each day they would gather around mom and she would pray for each one of them by name asking for the Lord's blessing on their day and then she'd give them a kiss and off they'd run even neighborhood kids would be included on the prayer circle if they happen to stop by and even though you might not be praying with your kids five minutes before school each day it's definitely something I'm gonna be doing praying over my child I want will to

implement this at his house I think just for you like that's a that can be like a manifestation rule like over your kids for five minutes before school starts and you can do it with them all together you know maybe because then you're not feeling like oh well I've got to do you know five minutes here five minutes there five minutes there it's a lot I can't imagine parents that I think about it with one of my friends who has to be it's like a divide and conquering thing with kids and sports that have multiples and it's like you feel like you're not doing enough as a mom or as a dad when you're you know inevitably

choosing to go to one child's thing over another like how do you make those types of choices and how do you give each child enough I don't know how you don't beat yourself up as parents of multiples it's like a whole different breed of parenting well so this coming Saturday Lincoln has a basketball game at 10 a.m. and Lux has baseball practice at 10 a.m. I just I can't so it's you know and it's hard because you know I've had these conversations these conversations recently with Joe and I already talked about it on baby mama so I don't have to like reiterate it here but you know I had to

remind him that he has two kids he's got a they've got a divide and conquer and as much as it sucks like you know and he he said to me you know you you've been doing this longer and I said yeah but unfortunately you got to figure it out and same thing for hobby like you know months ago when we were doing this whole basketball thing I was like you can't minimize what's best for Lincoln to suit the convenience of yourself to be in both places at the same time for both of your kids I said you know Lincoln deserves the challenge that he you know that he really needs in sports to excel and if that means that you you can't

attend everything for Lincoln and you need to be there for your other son that's okay and that doesn't make you a bad dad I think for a long time having I specifically would pit ourselves against each other and basically hold it over each other's heads you know if we didn't make it to one of Lincoln's practices or if we didn't make it to one of his games and so we would really hold each other hold it over each other's head and really that's not fair no it's not fair and I I'm concerned about that if you know I move on and you know if God plans for me to have another child and it's with someone else inevitably

that will be a whole household where that child will have a mom and a dad under the same roof that in itself makes me feel guilty and then to know that there would be like another child taking time I just don't know how I would do that and so I think it is a very interesting dynamic when you have like a nuclear family unit one place and then you have a child that is going to both parents homes 50% of the time and then them falling back into that nuclear family at one house and then a blended one at another like that's a whole we could talk about that for days oh yeah 100% we could have a lot to say on that so if

y'all ever want to hear it let us know coffee combos podcast is brought to you by better help we've talked about a lot this episode and there's so much going on in the world that I really feel like we can all benefit from therapy it's been a little over three years for me and I know Lindsay is in therapy Kristen's in therapy and we just discuss it regularly so if you guys don't know already better help is a fantastic option if you're thinking about therapy it's convenient it's flexible it's affordable and it's all online when you are at your best you can do great things and our whole team of gals on our team

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chance therapy can get you there visit better help comm slash coffee today to get 10% off your first month that's better help HELP comm slash coffee want to discuss because this morning I have to tell you about my level of motherhood I'm gonna call it motherhood psychosis because I've been so distraught over this Nashville school shooting yeah so sad I one couldn't get up and get myself together oh well we should since you brought it up we should actually offer a trigger warning to those listening we are about to just mention acknowledge you know really think about the victims of the Nashville shooting and if you

don't want to listen to this this is your trigger warning you can fast forward a few minutes I woke up and I was like I can't even get myself together like I didn't go to the gym waited until after school traffic like died down and then went and sat like at the library across the street from Jackson school and just like looked at the school like I don't know why I did that but I just went there and was like looking at the school and actually I'll tell you why I did it because I was trying to look at the entry points of the school to be like could someone get in here and when Jackson first started school I was very

weird about him going to school because of all of the school shootings that you know and I've talked about over the years and I was very weird about it didn't want him in a place like that and will was like well you know a shooting can happen happen anywhere like you could be in the grocery store you could be at the school you could be you know wherever and it could happen and so you can't just think like that you have to put your faith in you know whatever is going to happen for your life is already predetermined and you know that's it and I have a really hard time doing that because I want to protect my child

from harm's way and make sure that nothing is going to happen to him because I would not be a contributing member of society if something ever happened to my child and I know that if something devastating happened to my child I would not be able to function and so watching the coverage on this Nashville school shooting CBS News did a really good job putting together an article and I'm just gonna read it says a shooter open fired at a private Christian grade school in Nashville Monday killing three children and three adults the shooter was fatally shot by police at the Covenant School in the

city's affluent Green Hills neighborhood. Nashville Police Chief John Drake said preliminary investigation indicated the shooting was targeted we have a manifesto we have some writings that were going on that were going over to pertain to this date and the actual incident we have a map drawn out of how this was all going to take place the probe suggested the shooter was a student at the school though Drake didn't know when the detectives have said as far so far there's possibility there's a possibility of some resentment for having to go to that school. Authorities identified the three victims so they

all have already been identified and three of them were were adults three of them were children that are close to Jackson and Lincoln's age. The police identified the shooter as a 28 year old female from Nashville and said that she was armed with at least two assault style weapons and a handgun and they described the guns used to carry out the shooting as two AR style weapons a rifle and a pistol in addition to another handgun. Authorities believe two of the weapons may have been obtained legally and locally and police have released surveillance video showing the shooter firing through the glass panes on the

doors entering the building and then roaming the hallways going in and out of rooms with weapon at the hip and when she entered the side door she moved from the first floor to the second floor and she was firing multiple shots. The officers were able to enter the first story of the school building and began to clear it when they heard gunfire on the second level and at that point that's when they engaged the shooter and she was fatally shot by two of the five responding police officers at the scene. It said the shooter was taken down within 14 minutes of the initial call and CBS News has a quote where it says that's

amazing even for a remarkable group and it saved many many lives. I think a lot of people were talking about how how did it take 14 minutes for them to to do that. I think that people don't understand that this is not the typical situation that has ever happened in Nashville before at a school like this and so for them. Also how do you expect it to not be 14 minutes I mean you have to call for help to call police and they have to drive there. Yeah and the situation is so heartbreaking but we are we're all humans right so like you can't expect them to teleport to the location so I definitely think as fucking sad and

horrible as it is so many more lives could have been lost. I actually didn't know that they I didn't know that she was killed. I didn't know the shooter was killed. Yeah it said that the shooter had established a tactical position and that police body camera footage showed officers rushing into gunfire and has been said that it could have been significantly worse had the police not gotten there as quickly as they did and a quote from one of the officers that spoke to the news and I watched this coverage said when we send our kids to school or to any place of safety we expect them to live, learn, have fun and

come back from that day's experience. We don't anticipate things like this and that is so very true. Also said that they strongly believe there was going to be some other targets including maybe family members and one to the malls there in Nashville and that all of that you know was stopped before it happened so I don't know if maybe they inferred that from the maps and stuff that they they have uncovered. I don't I don't know. Evidently something's leading them to to that but this is truly a family's were absolute worst nightmare. I could not even fathom sending my child to school and I was thinking about how the

residents of the city of Nashville probably if they had their TVs on or their radios on probably heard about this and didn't know if it was their child or not. I could not imagine hearing it in real time on those scanners and things like that. One of one of Lincoln's football teammates mom messaged me the other day and said that she actually learned of her mother's death from her husband's police scanner. Not police scanner, firefighter, whatever scanners they have that's how she learned that her mom died so I cannot imagine your child. This is like your like no absolutely not absolutely not.

And watching the press conference where the officer was saying that you know we have identified all of the victims parents I couldn't even imagine like what that would have been like and the hope that you would have the fear that you would have had to have had knowing that there was a shooting that happened at your child school and knowing that there were six victims not knowing who those were because identities had not been released and then getting the phone call that it was your child. Like I truly could not even imagine so my heart goes out to these parents. I saw this on Instagram this morning it says these are

children who woke up and had breakfast with their families this morning they tied their little shoes held tightly to their backpacks they giggled and played with their friends went to school today deserving a tomorrow they expected to go home to the love of their parents three children and three adults lost their lives today this cannot keep happening. I have literal goose bumps because it's so true and and that goes whether you because it was a Christian school right yeah and that goes for any school any school where children are where there's teachers who take care of our children like that goes for any whether you

believe in God or you don't that is across the board. This could happen anywhere it just happened to be this school and it was not somebody that was internally in this school this was somebody that potentially I don't think that they've released the full information if this person was a student they're at one point 28 years old now so this wasn't outside threat and I I honestly just cannot even imagine I saw this other video and I'm going to share it on coffee combos Instagram page as well as my personal one and I'll send it to you as well but it was a video on how to talk to your kids and this is kind of

coming full circle to the conversation that we were just having about drugs that as moms or parents just in general sometimes you don't know how to talk to your kids about hard stuff and this was a video that was just kind of giving you direction on how to do so and it said stay calm be the source let them lead give them space to feel it's okay to feel with them not to process with them and answer questions age appropriately and honestly talk about what they can control look for the helpers and be one ask what would help them feel safe at school and don't feel like you have to have all the answers and remind them of

the truth you know I think these are all very important things I'll make sure to post the video so that you guys can see it in its entirety but I know sometimes I have a hard time approaching conversations with Jackson like this because I am fearful that I'm going to scare him too much but I want him to have the knowledge to know what does happen in this world I don't want him to be jaded or to think that serious things like this don't happen because this is very real right like we don't want to create the anxiety but also we need to be realistic that this does happen and it can truly happen anywhere

like you said and just like the fentanyl thing I mean I definitely feel like it's important for me to have these conversations with my kids it's hard when something like this happens and they're with their dads because I can't address it with them I guess I could text them about it but I you know I unfortunately have to wait and I don't know if their dads are talking to them about it and you know the whole the whole situation is sad but I think you're right and I think we should definitely post these just so people you know just to give them like a little bit of a guide if they don't know and you know

keep in mind they're kids so they may have questions and you may not have all the answers and it's okay to tell them that you don't have all the answers but that you're you know they can come to you anytime to talk about it or ask questions or you know you guys can find the answer together if you don't know I text will this morning and said I'm so sad about the school shooting yesterday stuff like that always puts me in a bad anxious place I think I have something wrong with me literally just parked outside the school for absolutely no reason and I said I want to talk to Jackson about it I found this video on

how to talk to your kids because how do you know if you're saying the right things and he said Jackson asked me about it yesterday and I told him that's what Code Reds are for will is very like he doesn't want Jackson to be scared and he wants to just give like the very general information with like not much emotion involved like hey buddy it's okay you know if you guys have Code Red drills at school that's what it's prepared preparing for in the event that like something happened so always like be sure you're on your Ps and Qs when you're doing Code Red drills or you know tornado drills or whatever like

this is for your safety and I just told will like I'm gonna have a bigger conversation with him because he probably has questions that he would not ask his dad in the same way that he would ask me also same like especially my older two will ask me things that I know that they don't ask their dad so yeah and that's okay too like if there's a better just like you said it came full circle like if you're more efficient or you're better at explaining things and you know kind of answering things in a in a better way for the kids and on their level you know let that parent do that let that's okay that doesn't mean the

other parent is a bad parent but you know my kids I'm gonna answer things for my children very differently than than their dads are so I just want to say that we all stand with Nashville I'm praying for Nashville I'm praying for the families absolutely praying for parents the siblings the first responders law enforcement that have been traumatized by the whole situation this will stick with them forever so we're sending all the love and condolences I want to read this daily vibe before we get into foul play because I saw it and very very good for us today it says today focus on what is in front of you not

behind you make the present your primary focus remember today is a gift use yesterday as wisdom experience and insight and today to make the right choices for your next steps ahead affirm I am rooted in this present moment I am grateful for every breath that flows through me okay and on that note we are going to do some foul stuff not that I'm really in the mood for it but but we got to keep the vibes up I mean it's been a really sad week so it has foul play anonymous please here's a foul play for you a few years ago I was mid divorce and feeling slutty so I hooked up with George I snuck him into my house

because my ex has been lived across town but he was spying on me all the time oh god anyway George was eating my kitty and I heard the dog make a weird noise I opened my eyes and guess who my ex-husband Chad was standing in the bedroom doorway I commonly said George Chad is here George stood up but naked and said oh hey man and then my ex slammed the door and stormed out of the house I chased him onto the porch still naked FYI so Chad left and George left and I was mortified naked on the porch but George and I just got married so I guess it didn't scare him off okay okay but no like you shouldn't have to and

that was the point that I was about to get at because I can tell you I have never driven by Will's house from the time that I've moved out of our marital home to the house that he's in now I've never driven by his house to try to spy to see if something was going on because what I don't know does not hurt me what I know might hurt me and also him so there's going to be no drive-bys mm-hmm I am alarmed by that situation if someone if you were comfortable enough with someone eating your kitty then your ex-husband definitely shouldn't be comfortable enough at that point to be coming into the home no that's actually

terrifying and to like calmly watch that too is absolutely terrifying because now you're a serial killer I have some stories I mean I've definitely done a drive-by on a situation where I was being lied to but it wasn't a situation where we were done and I was checking up it was very much we were in a relationship and you were actively lying to me and then another situation I've had an ex you guys will be able to do process of elimination here I think we were broken up at the time it was very much on and off I had those blinds those like plastic plastic skinny blinds in my first apartment mm-hmm and I had someone

over and said person kissed me it wasn't a make-out session it was just like a kiss on the mouth mm-hmm and my on and off again boyfriend was peering through those blinds in my window no that's called a peeping Tom and then he lost his fucking mind so that happened and then I also like the whole shower situation with Joe back when I was in my first apartment that I definitely cheated on Jordan and he showed up at the house but he showed up like that's still I don't know I don't know I don't know okay wait wait wait if we're gonna do all of this then I will tell you we're gonna do all of this here we if we're gonna do

all of this then I will tell you because I'm not gonna let you just like look like a crazy person for doing dry eyes when I have also okay so you know my friend Caroline yes one time we got a wild hair sitting at my house it was just like a pizza and a champagne night and we were just posted up here and she was like if your gut tells you something's not right then like you need to act on it and in fact I'm gonna act on it for you and then she was like it's only 14 minutes for me to find out so this was a game that we played that night called fuck around and find out so she drove over to said person's house

and sees a car parked outside mmm and we immediately know it's a girl's car and why do we know it's a girl's car because a boy doesn't drive that car right you just know like you just know no and I'm like Caroline did you get out like I have full videos of like the drive-by like the full thing I'm like did you get out and see if there was like a makeup bag in the car to confirm that's like a girl's car you weren't there you weren't you know I was home because Jackson was here he was sleeping so we were just having girls night and she goes and does the drive-by and I'm like okay if someone's there like on God I'm going

back you said on God I'm going back I'm going back so Kristen's probably howling in the background of this she's probably like and she is she has no business telling this but I'm telling it anyway and so Caroline comes back and she's like yep and so you know I I FaceTime with this person that is doing these shady things and trying to act like you know nothing's going on and like I warn this person like I know you're up to something like you're doing shady stuff like why are you searching for something in your truck why are you pretending like you're doing laundry at this time of night why are you walking around in your

robe like why aren't you in your bed like what's going on in your bed so I go over there hold on hold on so wait he answers your FaceTime and he's searching for something in his truck he called me on his FaceTime okay so I need to tell you that in Kale's cheating era I would also do these things so I know that that is a cheating situation oh yeah I immediately I'm like there's nothing for you to be searching for in your truck like there's nothing to find so like why are you in there so and it was like a frantic you know thing so it's like okay yeah you're definitely up to something and also I know that you know

car is there because Caroline's on her way back and have told me there's a vehicle there and I also have videos so yeah this is what's gonna happen so then I leave the house and I'm like don't know what's gonna happen but I'm going there I'm on the phone with Caroline whole time she's on speaker I'm like stay on the phone with me like I need a witness like be on the phone ring the doorbell no one comes to door and I'm like literally I know people are here because your vehicles are here and also this bitch is vehicles here so absolutely answer the fucking door ring ring ring ring ring dog comes to the

door barking and I'm like hmm so this is her dog and then all of a sudden she comes running through the house with no clothes on wait this girl had her dog over there too yeah like no fucking way no fucking way over there no and and the only thing he could say I was like and why was her dog here and he was like she wasn't supposed to have her dog here and I'm like in her pussy wasn't supposed to be here either but it was her cat wasn't supposed to be here neither just like butt-naked like in the house like butt-naked and I'm like first of all well then the person asked me who I was and I'm like no bitch who the fuck are

you because like I am his girlfriend and you got on no clothes so that's what I know and he's also wearing clothes that I bought him so yeah no absolutely the fuck not a boner and shorts that I bought no see I would have had to I know we're not promote promoting violence but like I would have had to break a car window Kristen's cackling I can hear she's like don't even fucking go there don't don't go there no no no like I was like well nice knowing you guys like good for you you suck and then this is like that trending TikTok sound I'm not as mean as I could be and y'all should be more thankful for that

literally so on God that's what happened I'm not okay on God I kind of feel anxiety about even talking about it because the whole situation gives me PTSD like I hope that that never happens to me again in my life and just want to say like just don't be a cheater like because Caroline is basically like catch a cheater she will catch you like next week remind me to talk about something that I used to do to my cheater boyfriend to catch him in lies oh I would love that okay so just want to say don't also don't do drive-bys because it just doesn't end well no it's never gonna end well you're gonna put yourself in a

situation that you don't want to be in really quickly do you want to read it or want me to read it you okay hi girls I wanted to share a foul play that happened in college with my boyfriend Andrew came home one weekend from college and of course I went over to his house to hang out we were laying in bed watching a movie and one thing led to another he started to finger me and we were both getting into it after a few minutes I noticed he wasn't getting into it like he normally does I got frustrated and grabbed his hand and guided him shoving his hand in my you know no I don't know was it your ass oh

kitty oh but she said he was already fingering her I could tell he either way I still came afterwards we were both just laying in bed when it dawned on me that I was on my period and I had a tampon in all day and then I totally forgot about it I immediately jumped up and screamed like oh my god Andrew why didn't you tell me I totally forgot I had a tampon in he burst out laughing and said I was waiting for you to realize I grabbed his hand and there was blood on his fingers I immediately started crying he looked at his hand and said it's okay don't worry he goes to wash his hands and I'm still crying totally mortified I

go into the bathroom after him and remove the it removed my tampon totally full of blood he never brought it up again he knew how embarrassed I was we resumed watching the movie and never spoke of it again he was honestly the best boyfriend PS I went to visit him in college one weekend and we went to Buffalo wild wings and he got bone-in mango habanero wings first of all the mango habanero is so fucking good we got back to his apartment and he started to finger me totally forgetting to wash his hands my cat was on fire I ran to the bathroom that him and his roommate shared half naked and screaming my

vagina is on fire I turned on the shower and started to apply cold water his roommates thought it was the funniest thing needless to say him and I went through a lot together well I'm sorry it doesn't sound like they ended up together but that sounds like Chris's hot cheetos story he fingered you with no not me oh my god I'm very weird about hands and nails so like I have to physically see you wash your hands in order for you to put your dirty ass fingers in my cat wait so that's that's where I was going with the next part of this that if you go out like for wing night you should immediately expect that

you're coming home and both showering before you get in the bed and you need to scrub your hands you need to scrub underneath your nails and if your nails are long absolutely not like I don't want you touching my cat because you could give me a scratch that literally like I don't want cat scratch fever literally like I don't he used to really gross me out because he had what he used to have long nails and I'm like I don't know your previous girlfriends like put up with this like why and he he faithfully cuts his nails now and like I know cat scratch fever I'm speaking of that I have a pregnant cat right now which we'll get

into next week as well yes so just remind me okay so I'm gonna remind you about the pregnant cat mm-hmm and what I had a cheater yeah how to catch a cheater exactly so you guys tune in next week for now that is all we have if you have not subscribed to the show you can do that by searching the purple podcast app click subscribe click the fit star leave us a written review you can find us pretty much on all podcast apps and always first at podcast one we hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon see ya all month long on Pluto TV stream the biggest Tyler Perry movies free watch

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