Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Our First Time And Why I Like Girls

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

CC265: Bonus Episode!Lindsie talks about when is the right age for your kids to learn about sex ed and all the above. Kail shares the story of her losing her virginity. Lindsie brings back memories wh...en she shares how her and Will have had to discipline Jackson recently. The girls go through some Facebook group posts that include: changing your mind about marriage, divorcing with kids, kids fighting over clothes, and the best question of all, what should men stop doing during sex? Thank you to our sponsors!Kikoff: Apply right now at Kikoff.com to start building a better credit score without the lift

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I hate gift-giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship Family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here Here's Kale and Lindsay Oops I Did it again I Do I look like I cannot take you seriously. No, you look like an inch of turtle
Starting point is 00:00:39 I'm a gamer. I'm why I feel like you look like an inch of turtle, but welcome to coffee combos podcast I love that I am not on camera this morning And that you aren't on camera with a gaming headset. This is literally everything right now I literally this is my son's Xbox headset. My mic for podcasting. I don't it didn't break Lindsay said there's a shortage in it. So Kristen was like what about it's not a shortage. Oh a short Is it not this? Yeah, it's like a short in the cord. I don't think it's the same I mean watch people will be like, yeah Lindsay. It's short is short for shortage But I think it's just like a short in the cord, you know
Starting point is 00:01:21 like when you plug in your iPhone and you think that it's gonna be such a good charge and you come back and it's not Charged at all because it just like broke and no one knows how Yeah, or my kids will unplug my phone and and it won't be charging and I think that I come to come back to it And it's fucking balls to the walls charged and then I realized my kid pulled it out of the plug Yeah, I know all about that. Do you see this glow in my forehead? I just want you to know that this is Disport I got my man. Well, I use the Disport brand and this sheen in my forehead is everything Gosh, don't we love Disport I also do Disport over Botox. I prefer it
Starting point is 00:02:04 Nothing better than going and getting like a facial a massage. Oh got my cat wax yesterday Oh, see you're fresh. You're ready to go back on the game, but there's nothing better than like fresh Disport when people don't Know your emotions. It's the good. Oh, yeah. Oh same like look at my eyebrow movement right now Love that love that for me. Oh, wow Wow, um, wait, can I tell you that I am so sick of kids being out of school that like I can't even stand it Oh same Listen between my kids getting sick. We played hooky on Friday and then my other kids got sick Yesterday, so they didn't go to school today. So trust me when I say I completely understand
Starting point is 00:02:56 um Jackson went to another camp yesterday and I just feel like if I'm not driving to the school or I'm not driving somewhere for sports Then I'm driving to these camps that I sign him up for so that he can be entertained on the many days that he's out of school But you know what? I love that you have camps there like that's not a thing here So I love that you have that and that that's an option because um My kids would probably love that especially if like the older two could potentially go together
Starting point is 00:03:32 Yesterday Jackson went to the coolest camp. It was like an all-sports camp. So oh They it was literally eight hours and you drop off at eight pick up at four send lunch And they do various different things. So basketball dodge ball football um Kickball all the like nerf wars like all this stuff. So he was very entertained and tired will said yesterday when he picked him up. See I love that. I wish you know what? That's a business idea. I'm not gonna start it but if anyone in Dover, Delaware or Smyrna, Delaware wants to start start these camps I
Starting point is 00:04:14 I would participate it's interesting because We get this question all the time and I saw it on either the Facebook or it might have been in the kitty gang Telegram saw it somewhere, but mom said how do you mom's work with your kids in half-day school or on summer break? And it literally made me think of this She said my little one is in preschool and we will go for three hours I have no one to go get her or take her so I have to we don't have childcare. I'm the main caretaker on summer break
Starting point is 00:04:45 I'll also be the one to take care of her. Her father works swing shifts. That's so hard because the school the little private school that all my kids have gone to for for preschool like all the way up until preschool a Lot of the moms they are Stay-at-home moms. They're not They don't work because it's not realistic for you to put your child in a program from 9 to 12 or Or you know 8 to 11 something like that and then you don't have the ability to go pick them up There is an occasional Grandparent that I see
Starting point is 00:05:20 That will go that that does that and you know, thankfully I have you know Natalie will go get creed from his program But I don't I don't know how Parents do it with the half-day programs that work full-time. I would be curious. I mean, maybe there's like a an after program Well, I know the program that Jackson went to Was considered a preschool because it had a curriculum So it wasn't daycare and it was only a couple of hours a day And I've talked about it many times where I felt like I would just get in carpool and drop him off To just get back in it again to pick him back up
Starting point is 00:05:58 I had enough time to like maybe if I already had a grocery list made add enough time to like maybe go and get groceries Bring them home and go pick back up. It is yep, so hard And so a lot of people I have heard from personal friends that they put their kids in daycare for the reason that They don't have the flexibility of being able to do a preschool schedule like that. Yeah, exactly I know Before I had Natalie I would I would maybe like run and grab a coffee or go to the car wash or Maybe when I used to go tanning. I don't go tanning anymore Um, literally just do like those little maybe go get gas
Starting point is 00:06:37 I really didn't have a whole lot of time to do anything and it's it's tough So I don't I don't blame the parents that need to do a daycare system over the preschool but It's hard. It's tough another thing while we're on the topic of school that I saw and I was like, okay we just have to talk about this because I Feel like a lot of moms that are listening to this probably have kids that are around our age This mom says is it odd that my son just turned 10 and is going to health class and is learning about puberty disease Prevention vaping and smoking the endocrine system human sexuality and family life
Starting point is 00:07:13 It says administration will briefly be discussed and I have the option to opt him out of it I think it's a little bit young for that to be learning about some of these things and He knows if he has any questions. He can ask me. We're very open and oh does he like to question things? I just feel like he's too young to hear it from anyone else other than us thoughts, please And I feel like this is such a good Conversation starter because I have so many opinions about it What did you say was the age group for this 10? Okay? I want to hear your opinion I also feel like I have a pretty strong opinion on this
Starting point is 00:07:50 So I have actually opted Jackson out of certain things that have come home from school just because Either I didn't want him to hear about it from the school and felt like he wasn't old enough to be you know doing it I can't think of like anything off the top of my head But there has been times where some things come home like a permission slip and I have not let him do it But I also will hold him from school on whatever date that that is the problem is though The more I did that the more I realized that all these other kids are doing it and they're advancing and
Starting point is 00:08:28 He's not so he's probably still gonna hear about it in some way second hand And he's not going to know the educational aspect of it. And so while I don't love this for a 10 year old I also think that we have to consider the times that we're currently in and and kids are having sex sooner and sooner and it's because I believe of the exposure that they have on the internet and The things that they have access to and so as much as I don't Love that they're learning this stuff at 10 years old
Starting point is 00:09:04 I also think that we can't compare it to when we were 10 because times do look so differently today than we were 10 years old I Completely agree with that. I mean, obviously every child is Maturing at their own pace and you know what I think Isaac is mature What areas I think Isaac is mature in may be different from Lincoln or Luxe My initial thought when you started to read this was you know, I'm very open with my kids my five-year-old knows what a period is so I Think the reason why I have to be that way is one
Starting point is 00:09:38 I'm a single mom and two I see how men grown men don't know shit about the human body as adults and so that's kind of my Reasoning for being as open as I am. It's natural. It's you know, I'm able to kind of tell them about it my way in my house the way I want but I do agree with you in Showing the educational side of it. I feel I think I'm on the fence about 10 years old I'm not sure that that's a good age for everybody, but I could see some kids being ready to learn about those things at 10 years old And then I do see that there are some kids that probably aren't ready I don't know if I brought it up on here before but I I asked Isaac, you know, he's he's gonna be 13 tomorrow So when this airs he'll be 13 and I I brought it up to him
Starting point is 00:10:24 I said, you know, do you have any questions about sex? Like do you so he's just learning about this and he he was like mom No, like he has no interest at all. He has no But he is going through, you know puberty and so we do have conversations But he doesn't have any idea about like ovulation or STDs really I mean, he knows a little bit, but they don't touch on sex ed at all in our school system so Jackson is a very young
Starting point is 00:10:54 person for his age Okay, and so I feel like at 10 for him. He might not necessarily be ready to have these conversations Because it's just not something That like I think that he would even if I brought up sex He would probably be like, what is that like literally have not even one single clue like He gets shy when people Kiss in front of him or something, you know, so that's just not something that I feel like he would necessarily be ready for it 10 years old
Starting point is 00:11:29 But I don't know there are a lot of 10 year old out here that have older siblings that would be ready for this Yeah, Isaac's definitely like he kind of knows what it is, but the lack of interest like I think he could absorb the information I think he would take it in I think he would can see would very much consider the information get into him But he doesn't it doesn't apply to him right now and same for Lincoln like I asked like and he just looked at me like mom Like Lincoln that he's not he's almost a year behind Jackson and he has no interesting girls right now He has no like it's just not there. So I mean, I think I took my health class was Sixth grade. How old are you in sixth grade 12? I don't know. I think yeah, I think I think around 12 And I don't remember being on like the sex ed topic like for very long
Starting point is 00:12:17 I do remember seeing a couple STD pics and that was about it like it we didn't go in depth We didn't it didn't really go much further than that But I almost feel like it's a little necessary because I mean, I don't know about 10, but I mean think that the in my opinion the Longer that I have been a mom the more I am okay with Educational aspects and I believe yet knowledge is power and when you have kids out here that don't have the knowledge But are participating in certain things and that knowledge could have prevented
Starting point is 00:12:54 Other things then, you know, you have to look back at yourself as a parent and be like was that negligent on my part? I personally growing up my dad never like I did not have any conversations with My dad regarding sex. It was just like a you don't do it until you get married. So Because of that, we're not having a conversation about it. However, I did with the boys. Oh, interesting See, I don't you're gonna get chlamydia and die Q that little
Starting point is 00:13:28 Seen from mean girls don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die My mom didn't have any type of conversation with me I remember asking her for birth control when I was like 13 or 14 because my friend was on it And I was like, I need this because it's gonna help with my acne. But really I was about to start having sex And how old were you? I lost my virginity when I was 14. Oh my gosh. Were you so scared? No, what? No, like you the first time you saw a dick like you didn't Get terrified the first time I saw a dick was when I had sex like you had sex with the first dick you saw Yes
Starting point is 00:14:07 How did you know what to do with it? I didn't I had no fucking clue. It was and I I didn't I Did not and I will say And I'm not blaming her by any means whatsoever. I'm not blaming her, but I had a friend her name was Caitlyn and She was a troubled girl Very great family life, which is very her parents were very very very strict Um, and so I think she rebelled a little bit against that and she started having sex at 12 or 13 And so because she was one of my best friends, I felt influenced and I'm not I'm not blaming her
Starting point is 00:14:47 So Caitlyn if you're listening, I hope you're doing well I felt influenced by her It was almost like I felt pressure. She wasn't pressuring me. She wasn't telling me to have sex She wasn't telling me to lose my virginity, but I felt that because I was friends with her and that she was doing this I also needed to do this. So I actually pressured my own boyfriend to do it And I don't even know that he was I don't know if he was ready, but he we did it We did it outside and I actually wrote about it. It's called sidewalk sex in my book pride over pity So if y'all want to read about me losing my virginity outside on the streets
Starting point is 00:15:21 Feel free to pick up the book first of all, okay, this is great. I was never I was never a child and even to this day as an adult like peer pressure is not a thing for me like would that be peer pressure? Do you think that that would be considered peer pressure? Yeah, I feel like it is peer pressure. It wasn't like come on Let's you need to have sex like you need to lose your virginity here. Do you want some drugs? Like it wasn't like that It was like she was just having sex Okay, you have Self-induced peer pressure She was doing it and you felt you had FOMO and you felt like you needed to keep up with the Joneses
Starting point is 00:16:01 And you needed to also do it because if you weren't doing it, you weren't part of the times That would never register to me If someone was out here having sex and I was 13 or 14 years old and they were like, I'm having sex I would probably be like what's that? First of all, secondly would have zero interest at that point in my life zero Her and my other best friend who I think about all the time because I was closer to the other one They're both recovering heroin addicts now. Oh really? And you're not? No You said no wait before we move on the sidewalk sex Yeah, did you get like carpet burn or like sidewalk burn?
Starting point is 00:16:47 So he actually took his shirt off. He was such a gentleman He took his shirt off and he laid it on the ground No Yes he did Yes he did No He said he was such a gentleman He was such a gentleman
Starting point is 00:17:01 Yeah, he sure did He sure did Well we Shout out to John Actually, I have one more thing. What? Kyl, you like can't say who he is and then him do this and him be mortified that you've told everybody that you guys lost your virginity to each other on a sidewalk Oh well I did change his name in the book for those reasons but I don't, am I not allowed to say it on the podcast? Bye
Starting point is 00:17:33 Like for legal purposes I changed everybody's name in the book You know what's funny is when the book came out he worked at Amazon and he read it because it goes through Amazon and he cussed me all the way out Huh? On Facebook. Let me go see if I can read you a message from him He cussed you all the way out? Yes Wait, do you still have the messages? Yeah, I'm going to look for them
Starting point is 00:17:57 Oh this is so good. This is the tea that I never knew that I needed Shut up Shut the fuck up It is everything that I did not know that I needed this morning. This is just great Wait, do you want me to tell you while you're looking for that really quick what I just I found it, so whenever you're ready Okay, you do that and then I'm going to tell you what I just looked at on my counter and then laughed Okay, so April 4th 2014 he, Facebook messages me and says, please tell me you're joking
Starting point is 00:18:29 And I respond three days later and I say what and he goes dot dot dot your book And I said, what about it? And then he got mad and he was like the fact that you even said anything about me Um, that the fact that you even said anything about me like I ripped your clothes off and bang Do you want a goddamn sidewalk? I said, John, did you even read the book? You are not mentioned in my book once and I did not describe the event like that whatsoever didn't say my clothes were ripped off at all And he goes, whatever you say, Katelyn, if it wasn't me, then who was it?
Starting point is 00:19:04 And I didn't say that it said that word for word the way it was written made it seem like next you know my pants were off and my underwear were off My shirt was on kind of makes it sound rapey but now I didn't read the book just two pages of it No, I told the story exactly how it happened What? He's pissed and he goes, I'm sure 99% of Whitehall knows exactly who it's about I said, okay, well 99% of Whitehall isn't going to be reading my book Childish I love that this is over Facebook Messenger
Starting point is 00:19:36 Um, nothing seems pettier in that moment Childish, Childish Childish, this is child's play Um, I need to tell you and this is not the proudest mom moment that I have had Certainly not the proudest mom moment But my son decided that he was going to go to school and someone snitched on him for something So he waited until he got back to his centers and proceeded to call this person a little bitch Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:20:12 And what made me think of that in this moment was that Will Campbell also marched his ass over to this house Once I got Jackson home, asked me to get out some lined paper and made him sit and write 20 sentences And this is the sentence I will post a copy of this by the way I know that using foul language is wrong and I will not do it in the future Period, we love that Will Campbell Honestly, it came up in conversation, I don't remember where I was or what was going on But the kids today, obviously, aside from Jackson, will never know what it's like to sit there and write 100 sentences of the same, like 100 of the same sentences
Starting point is 00:20:54 You know what I mean, like those were the types of punishments that I feel like worked And I'm going to do that more often, so thank you Will and Lindsay for that because you know what, that's a good, I used to have to do that I feel like that is a good punishment Okay, but I have to tell you, it shows you how kids are so much less fearful of their parents today than most of us probably were back then Because if I would have been told to write 20 sentences, mine actually would have been 100, that would have been the Todd Crisley rule 20 is weak I would have had to have written these sentences with perfect penmanship, wouldn't have even thought otherwise Like that wouldn't even have been something that ran past my mind to be like, oh, let me hurry and do this
Starting point is 00:21:47 No, like I'm officially going to take my time because otherwise there's another punishment coming And You better dot every single I perfectly, you better cross every T perfectly, like there's no, you know, scribble, scrabble You better make sure that that period is legible Yes So the first sentence Jackson proceeded to put a one next to Will's sentence, so that counted as one of his sentences The second sentence is exactly as Will wrote what he was supposed to be writing Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:22:24 When we get to the third sentence, it only says I won't use foul language anymore So he made his own sentence Oh, he cut half of it off He said I was taking him too much time And I'm like, first of all, if I would have ever gone to my parents and been told to write sentences Because I did something wrong and then I told them that their sentence was too long, like would have never even been a thought Like not even like a Even brief moment, like would I have ever thought of that
Starting point is 00:22:54 I honestly would have been afraid for my life Susie could have been down in a bottle of vodka and she'd still be like, nope, start that one over Goodbye Goodbye Wait She'd be like, right there, that one right there Start over Bye
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Starting point is 00:25:35 Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose! Okay, so we've got some listener and some foul plays and a bunch of other shit that we have to move on to So this one's from the Facebook group I've been with my partner for almost 10 years. We've always agreed that we were not fussed with getting married Neither of our parents are married and we both split so we never grew up with that being the norm We also wanted to make sure that we achieved buying our own home and being comfortable as we both come from backgrounds where our parents didn't own their homes And struggled for money We achieved this and are thankfully comfortable financially. Now we have had our first child, I have completely gone the other way
Starting point is 00:26:22 I feel the urge to create this family unit that we never had and be married I don't know why but having a baby has changed my mind completely but I was like, oh fuck no, I don't need to get married I'm not spending money on that blah blah blah so the point, my boyfriend, also who wants to refer to their partner as a boyfriend once you're past 30 I don't know what fuss means. He still isn't fussed and I don't know if I should try to convince him or let it be I've changed my mind after 10 years I can't be mad that he hasn't Okay, fussed I think isn't concerned I think she's saying the way that she uses fussed is we're not concerned, we can't be bothered for that You know what I mean? It doesn't bother them
Starting point is 00:27:02 He still isn't concerned Wait, time out because I know using context clues I know what she means but I hate Part of me wants to be doing my own thing and not really the marriage on paper kind of freaks me out I'm on the fence about marriage itself but I hate that I'm almost 31 years old and I have multiple children and I have a boyfriend I hate that because I do feel like I'm established in my career, I know who I am, I own my own home, I have my own vehicle I have my children, I have all these things and I hate when I'm talking to somebody I hate being like my boyfriend or like Elijah's house is in front of me and when I had someone come out here for something I wanted to have built I'm like oh don't worry my boyfriend owns that and it's just like it feels very juvenile and I cannot stand it
Starting point is 00:27:57 So sometimes when I don't know them I'll just be like my husband because I don't like it and it makes me feel really uncomfortable The second thing I want to say about this is do not try to convince this man of anything Again with the expiration dates, if you're happy and you're okay with him not wanting to get married, I would leave it alone and just let it be If you have to decide if marriage is a deal breaker for you, if it is a deal breaker for you you need to leave and be done with it but I would not try to convince him of anything Okay, so Kristen and I kind of talked about changing minds and stuff after being in a marriage but it was relative to having kids like getting married Having your mindset that you're going to have X amount of kids, having a couple kids, I think having two kids and then one not wanting the third anymore One still wanting it and like is it grounds to be able to divorce or go your separate ways because you're not living up to what you said before you were married We talked about that on the Southern team but when I'm reading this this is like very similar in nature to me
Starting point is 00:29:07 I feel like Will and I had a lot of things before we got married that like didn't come to fruition I'll never forget like Will said that he wanted like five kids or something and we ended up having one and that was not something that was a hiccup to me because you're allowed to change your mind You're growing and you're evolving and or hopefully you are and so of course things that you might have wanted or weren't important to you at one point in your life They might be important to you or you might want something different and that's okay I saw a TikTok that was this man talking about how he had felt like he had been married to multiple women and the same woman over a period of many years being married to her because of her changing And so I think it's okay to naturally you know want to change and you're evolving and you're growing But at the same time some people are dead set in the way that they feel And that might not be something that he ever budgets from and I view this the same way as I would view having a child with someone else and I've said this before
Starting point is 00:30:16 I only would ever have another child if the person that I was wanting to have that child with equally wanted that child as much as I did Right right but like forcing someone into like a life commitment like that or putting pressure on them into a life commitment like that I feel like it it just naturally builds resentment and it might not be immediate but it will be over time and it will happen Right like those ultimatums aren't they never they can't end well like they they truly can't end well and do it if it is a deal breaker for her because I don't know if it is I think that's something that she needs to decide if it is a deal breaker for her Do you really want to be with someone that you have to convince to do these things you know what I'm saying like do you And it's okay to to separate or go separate ways because you want different things and it can be amicable and it can be civil it doesn't have to be this like knock down drag out situation is just like okay over time yes we've had this child together yes we have all of these things together but if it is in fact a deal breaker you guys can
Starting point is 00:31:22 you know grow apart like that is completely normal we are human we're able to evolve we're allowed to change like you said and that's okay It's just sad when you see things like this happen because I very much understand the position that she's in that they both come from background where their parents own their own homes and struggled for money and they've been able to have financial success and you know have a child and do all the married things without being married if you've ever been married before then you might have a different perspective on this I can certainly tell you that I do a marriage or being married to someone isn't going to change anything for me like that is just my mindset on it I think it's a natural thing to want to do when you're in love with someone and you want that known unity and you want to be able to call someone your husband or your wife but if you're doing husband and wife things essentially you are just without the government being involved and we know how I feel about that so this is true so yeah this is true I mean if I want you can just call someone your husband they don't have to like I do and just call it a day like y'all don't need the paperwork
Starting point is 00:32:32 the only thing that I would be concerned about is like I guess you could have a will and still leave it to your partner and you don't have to be married right like you don't you can still have this isn't a financial podcast so I don't really want to give financial advice I'm just thinking of like your assets together your home together you know how they say like next of kin if there is something God forbid that goes wrong it would go to your wife or your husband but I was just thinking I wasn't thinking in terms of like finances I was more so thinking of like if there was a crazy accident or something but I guess if you have something in right like hey we're not going to get married but you will be my power of attorney if something happens you are listed as this in my living will you know what I mean like I was thinking more in terms of that like I guess you know if there was a life a life or death situation like how does that work because this is like essentially your life partner but then would your parents be able to make the decision like how does that work that's the only thing that honestly that's a really great question and I don't know the answer to that I thought about this not too long ago and it was in a morbid state that I was in
Starting point is 00:33:46 I know that I know that I am no longer married to will anymore I'm very aware of that ship sailed but I have a big sadness when it comes to knowing if something ever happened to him before something happened to me and I have a child with him and someone else is like making the decisions that's not me that stresses me out yeah I completely understand that and I'm on the opposite side of that spectrum I am I would never want one of my kids dads to make a decision I'm like Chris is my power attorney she is listed in my will I'm leaving my house to Natalie for my kids for the kids so that she can live here with the kids and you know whatever I can tell you all the details of my will if you want but I actually oddly enough I feel like this kind of goes with that listener topic I wrote this this morning at 943 a.m. I literally wrote podcasting thoughts and I this kind of touches on the aspect of the listener topic where she says that her family didn't really have anything you know financially and they she said they came from split houses so I wrote this every ex that I've been with whose parents were still together they did not play me okay like they didn't cheat on me there there may have been dysfunction but they tried to make it work in some way or another even if there had been ship between their parents you know they weren't perfect infidelities etc they still wanted to keep their families together and intact
Starting point is 00:35:16 and then the exes that I've been with including myself that have split parents and seeing people kind of in and out they both played me and I've also played them and I was wondering if there was a correlation I mean so I wonder for her to like she huh you know how they say that you can go down the same path as your parents or do the complete opposite I feel like I'm the opposite of my parents she seems to be the opposite of her parents and then her partner is more so following the steps of his parents I think for me because my parents had such a toxic co-parenting situation quite frankly I'm comfortable enough to say it because either of my parents would say this
Starting point is 00:35:57 they were never two people that should have ever been married in the first place so when I got with Will I thought about all of my childhood stuff and I'm sure that's probably pretty common that most people do I know that you've said that you did that you wanted to go pretty much exactly opposite of the way that you were raised same for me and I think that that's why it was so hard for me to let go of my marriage because I didn't want to become my parents right right so you kind of went down the opposite you know you tried to be the opposite of them or what they had I would love to know what other people think about that actually let's move on to the next person from the Facebook group okay okay my daughter just got engaged her fiancee 25 and her both work he makes decent money over 60k but she makes about half and isn't grad school
Starting point is 00:36:53 as parents of the bride traditionally we are to pay for the majority of the wedding however we will only have about probably 30 guests coming while his family has over 75 guests listed we are willing to pay some and of course help out but I'm wondering since this is our first child to get married what do the brides parents pay for when their adult children work and live on their own and get married would it be reasonable to just give them a set amount of money to work with and tell them that's it my daughter has grand wedding plans 200 guests no children outdoor wine vineyard elaborate flower decorations if we pay for all of it we would go broke not really but certainly wouldn't be worth the price for us and we have three other children any advice this is so interesting because I honestly have had so many conversations with girls in my personal life about this I think that if your parents are in a place to where they can contribute that that should not be considered a built in of your life like if they're in a place that they can contribute then of course that's great that they can if they're not I don't believe in having this expectation the traditional expectation of the brides parents pay for the wedding and the reception I think and then the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner I think that's most common what I've heard
Starting point is 00:38:21 however this is also a big conversation internally to set proper expectations and I do think that it's fair that if your children are grown and they're grown enough to get out here and get married and do those things anything that you do for them should be considered a bonus not a requirement and so if her grown daughter has all of these expectations which many many girls have wedding dreams for their whole life and you know have these expectations but when you have those grand expectations it should also be on your dime like you can't expect someone else to foot that bill because that your expectation also when you're inviting 30 guests and you're paying for majority and then someone else is inviting 75 I feel like it should be even so if you're paying for 30 then they're paying for 30 and if there's an overage then they pay for the overage I have a lot to say about this for one it doesn't sound like this is a traditional type of family I mean just based off this information if they're already kind of out they're already living together they just got engaged I mean technically aren't you supposed to be like married before you live together kind of thing I only say that to say I'm not judging I only say that to say if you're not living your life in this like traditional type of way in all aspects why are you only applying the traditional aspect to the wedding do you get what I'm saying like if you're not what's cherry picking it's right and so why are you even applying this this traditional rule or this traditional tradition to a marriage when it just doesn't you don't live traditionally every in every other aspect so that's my first thought my second thought is going along with that if you have three other children and you knew that this is you know you knew that you had a daughter and if you were going to apply this to
Starting point is 00:40:28 your lifestyle or what you thought for the future why did you not start planning when you had your dog when your daughter was born like did you not think oh you know what traditionally traditionally the bra the daughters family pays for you know the wedding and stuff I better start saving now if you were going to talk if you were going to do this like traditional type of situation and then third I feel like her idea of giving a set amount whatever that they're willing to give I do feel like that is more than fair we are again in 2023 so why are we trying to do this traditional shit if someone offered me when I got I spent close to 40,000 it was like 3540,000 on my wedding which was a lot at the time and I had under 200 guests and that was at $150 a plate we got no money back as gifts everyone pretty much came empty handed if someone would have said to me hey here's a set amount of money you know put it apply it where you wherever you want I would have been elated a static so excited I don't even remember his parents paying for the rehearsal dinner I know just based off of very close personal people that I have dealings with that it's been traditional or considered traditional that the bride's parents pay for the wedding and the reception. Is that like the thing after. Yes. And then the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. Yep, right. I also think that when you have three kids and this is the last thing I'm going to say on this when you have three kids. And I know that will's parents did this that what they were willing to give one who had a big wedding. They were also willing to give us that didn't have one. And so it was a set amount and that was equal to all three children. Okay so see that's fair to me but I just feel like like you said the cherry picking thing. Why are you only applying this tradition traditional thing to your life and why didn't you start saving the second you realized you had.
Starting point is 00:42:44 If that's what you're going to do yeah I am and I'm not mad at her for having all these elaborate plans I'm not mad at her for that at all I think that's you know like you said that's a lot of women dream of that from when they're a little girl so I just well and boys to We can move on but yeah I agree. Hope that helps next person from the Facebook group says how did you all find this drink to leave your marriages I told my significant other last night that I was done we have two kids together and also each have one that we brought into the relationship this is the part that gets sticky to me that was my thoughts not what she said a lot has happened to me to make the choice we live in a very small rural town and right now I'm a stay at home mom and I'm over halfway done with getting my bachelor's degree I will have to find a job find a daycare for a two year old which I have never been apart from and find the balance again of juggling school sports youth sports have to a and 13 year old so you ladies know I am just stress I don't know what steps to take I've been applying at jobs reaching out to daycares my significant other works out of town two to five weeks at a time so he won't be home for two weeks right now he is in denial with everything and I'm just so stressed that's a lot of stuff going on. First thing that I want to say is I would say if you're in your second marriage or this might be your first but you're bringing other kids into the marriage that you guys did not create together to me that is like a whole other level of hard and I'm sure you experienced that with Isaac with hobby. I think that my divorce affected Isaac tenfold you know he was too young for me and Joe split I don't think my other breakups ever impacted him the same way I mean Isaac's life and I think Isaac as a person changed when hobby and I got divorced and I will never I will never not believe that.
Starting point is 00:44:42 OK so do you feel like that it's because of Isaac's age whenever you and Javi got together that that possibly caused. I think that's the issue. His age was part of it it was a very there were very formative you know years of his life. I was also going through my own I was growing up at the time you know what I mean so I was I was fucking up in it of itself like separate from my divorce like I just wasn't who I needed to be at that time. I mean I needed I was growing up. I also think that you know Isaac decided on his own to call Javi dad and Isaac loved Javi Javi got him tattooed on his arm you know what I mean like that was his dad so I he had two dads you know so I think that it was. The way that Javi loved Isaac was what I would expect for all stepfathers or partners who are coming into a relationship with children that is how I expect a stepchild to be loved. And he kind of set the bar for that and I think that that is why Isaac you know I think to this day it's still hard for me he still has Javi in his phone as stepdad.
Starting point is 00:45:55 But they don't they don't have a relationship that I just hate that it was a child that you guys did not have together but you were raising together for a period of time. And then for that separation that would have to be hard because that is that is a trauma a childhood trauma. Whether wants to be admitted or not it is because of the relationship and it being broken. To this though I don't understand having that many children and going from sports to sports because I regularly say there are some women that are cut out to be. Moms of many and then there are some women that are cut out to be moms of a couple and then there are some women that are cut out to be moms of one and I might just be cut out to be a mom of one. So I can't relate but I know that you can and I think that a lot of people probably go through having a spouse that works out of town and are gone for that long period of time. And I would imagine the strain that that would wear when you're raising children and you're also trying to better yourself and that person's trying to provide for the family and they're gone away for that long. That would be very hard.
Starting point is 00:47:12 So she says in here how did y'all find the strength to leave y'all's marriages and then at the end she says he's in denial with everything. So I think my first question is are y'all on the same page about this are y'all both wanting to separate. If that's the case if you guys are both wanting to separate and maybe it's not doable right now maybe you guys are wanting to separate and that is okay if that's what's best for you and your families. Maybe you guys need to stick it out until your ducks are in a row essentially like get through school like make make a family decision to stay together for financial purposes or time you know sharing purposes right now until you finish school. I remember when I went to file for divorce initially and I think I've said this before on this podcast. I went to see an attorney downtown in Dover and she told me not to leave yet she was like come back when your ducks are in a row. I laid everything out for her and she was like no and then during that time I was like okay you know I am in my head I was going to go get divorced you know when I had my ducks in a row and then ultimately be decided to make it work for a little bit longer like actually try to make it work but. If he's in denial as you guys must have had a conversation about ending this relationship but because he works out of town you're still in school you're still applying to jobs you don't have one right now.
Starting point is 00:48:33 You have all these sports and it's just it would be really hard I mean not for nothing but we are about to go through a recession and I do know couples who stay together for financial purposes or convenient purpose purposes. So I don't know I think maybe have a sit down conversation get a third party involved if you need to I don't that's so tough. But you don't want the kids to suffer you want to be able to get them to their their sports and their you know their youth practices and whatever else that looks like but. Two to five weeks at a time I mean you're essentially already doing it on your own so why not hang in there until you're done with school maybe that's bad advice I'm the queen of bad advice so. I will say sometimes you have a false sense that you're doing it on your own because I did. Will would be gone to work and I would be you know stay at home mom doing puzzles and art projects and you know. Making food and get one to all these damn music classes and library story time and by the end of the day I was so exhausted by the time he got home. And I felt like I was doing it all on my own because he wasn't there because he was at work but not until I divorced and I realized there was a lot of things I thought I was doing on my own that I actually wasn't doing on my own.
Starting point is 00:49:47 And that's why they say couples therapy is good before there's problems because you got that can come up in therapy you know what I mean. That's a really good point Lindsay I think more people should really look at that because I do think there is a sense of resentment that builds you know for whether you're stay at home dad or you don't you're the default parent. And then the other one you know is working or whatever the case is I think that's a really good point and. I feel like it's just hard all together because I think so many people can relate whether you're a mom or like the five dads that listen to this. That's also if any dads are listening this is your reminder that Valentine's Day is coming up she doesn't want gifts off Amazon a week later she doesn't want gifts that are unwrapped get her flowers. All the things gifts all of that so if there are any dads boyfriends women looking for something for their wives now is your reminder but yes I agree with you. The five dads that are listening the moms that are listening yeah I feel like parenting is so lonely sometimes. Because even though you're parenting with someone else in some situations and in some situations not even in my marriage when will would be gone to work and then come back home.
Starting point is 00:51:08 It was like an immediate separation because I had been with Jackson all day long that I needed five minutes to myself so will would take him when he got home from work. And then not until he went to bed would we ever have time for each other and that war you know for a very long time and I think that that caused a lot of problems that we didn't even realize that it was causing by navigating that way it was like that. So I think in your flight mode that you get in of okay I've done this part all day you do this part and switch on and off and then not prioritizing the marriage so I think that in this specific situation and the lot this is the last thing I'm going to say say on it is when you're a stay at home mom you're trying to also better yourself you have multiple children you have a spouse that is either. At work locally and be gone all the time or they could be at work for weeks at a time that is naturally going to wear on you and you might not have the relationship problems that you think that you have but you're in. A season of life that you feel like nothing's working. Yeah, I want to add one more thing to that to you said that parenting can be lonely I think that it can be lonely when you think you're doing it on your own when you're doing it on your on your own or even if you're in a happy marriage anyway because you especially I would say like the first like the zero to three she still said she said she said she has a three year old right.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Mm hmm. Yep. So she has a three and eight and 13. Okay two years old. I mean you're still in that that phase of life to or that season of life where you you're still not probably getting and with all of these things going on between the sports and him being out of town and all that you're not able to have a long time at all so it's not even so much of who's kids is who's it's the ages right like there's even even at the end of the day you're just exhausted you're burnout you don't want to be touched you're overstimulated. And then you don't get to either lay down with your husband or you don't want to be laying down with your husband but I think that we say all this to say that I don't think that there is a piece of advice that we can give you outside of potentially just communicating and and trying to understand like where each of your heads are at. Yes. Okay next person from the Facebook says is a back rub ever really just a back rub my partner gives me yes. My partner gives me a back rub a few times in a month and I wonder this every time like our other women really just getting a great back rub with a pat on the butt and good night. I love my partner but sometimes it would be nice just to get the back rub without the expectation of sex. That seems to be a trend in all of my relationships it always ends up being four play am I here alone and anyone who just gets the back rub has it always been that way or did you say something. I don't think I've ever just gotten a back rub I don't think and I think I would be more open like I get I almost get mad because of the expectation of sex that comes with it I get upset so I don't even want the back rub.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I would want to have sex on my own with the back rub and I would probably initiate it myself with the back rub if the expectation wasn't there but because it's there it pisses me off. No I don't know anyone that ever just gets a back rub I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I just want to just don't even touch me if you're going to expect something from me. First of all in two of my relationships I have gotten back rubs and they're not been an expectation of sex. But I think I'm also like this is not tooting my own horn but I think I'm also like a very cozy sleeper but like I'm a professional sleeper. So I think that both of these people just wanted to be like up close next to me and they knew the only way that that was going to happen and I was going to allow them to stay there as if they were giving me a back rub. Because I'm not getting a back rub go to your side. Don't touch me don't look at me don't even breathe in this direction like literally do not do not even do that but that brings me to a question that I've wanted to know this for a very long time. And this is the best place to pull it. Are you the type of people that snuggle all night long. Or do you start snuggling and then both end up on your side of the bed and then come back together in the morning.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Or do you just comes back together in the morning. That's not a thing. That is a thing. That's not a thing. Maybe on a weekend. Well yeah because if it's a regular weekday you psychopath like you're bouncing out of the bed looking like a crazy person just trying to get the kids to school so you're right that's not a thing on a regular weekday. But like it is a thing that happens on occasion so are you that type of person or are you the type of person that like once you get in the bed you're on your side he's on his side. No cuddle a little bit and then roll over. I had one ex that I cuddled with all night long like we our bodies were intertwined but that also wasn't healthy and like that whole relationship wasn't healthy so that type of he probably just did that so I wouldn't go through his phone.
Starting point is 00:56:25 But I don't I just cuddle for a few and then I like to roll over because I like to hug a pillow it keeps my shoulders like up so I'm not like this you know what I mean. Okay well I am the person that like loves a good snuggle but also if you're not scratching my back or rubbing my hair like go away. I will always snuggle start snuggling probably go separate ways for like a brief period until the sleep like gets good and set in then I'm going to find you. Like I am going to drape my leg over you like you aren't going anywhere. You need to be close the best snuggle is the middle of the bed snuggle like that is the best snuggle. I don't know if I don't know if I know about that I don't know about the middle of the bed you haven't learned you haven't lived and like you're not learning if you're not taking this advice while I'm telling you like you need to get off this podcast and go try a middle of the bed snuggle and come back and report back to us. Okay, I will do that. Okay, someone says how do you solve fights when your kids are fighting such as the TV toys each other's clothes I have two girls to boys even fight over clothes.
Starting point is 00:57:37 No. Yes, my kids fight over clothes, especially Lincoln Luxe and Creed. Isaac is kind of on his own there because he's taller so he doesn't have that problem but now I buy. If I buy something for Lincoln I also get it for Luxe and Creed because I will not deal with the fight like I got a Roman Reigns costume, the wrestler. I literally bought three of them because I was not going to deal with the fighting. That's not realistic in every situation but yes they fight about fucking everything and it's so frustrating. It really depends on the day so I don't have any solid I don't have any solid advice for this I'm sorry it really depends on the day depends who's in the right who's in the wrong sometimes I take the shit away. Sometimes if I see the whole thing go down, I will say what's what, but there's no way to solve this.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Jackson doesn't have anybody to fight with. So not really a problem that we have in my house we have lots of other problems but none of these are ones that we experience. Jackson actually didn't even care about clothes until this school year surprisingly so also there's nobody if he's fighting anybody over clothes it's me. And it's because I don't want to see him wearing a jersey literally every single day of his life but then I also tell myself. Okay this is only a season like he's only going to do this for a season because I do not love grown men wearing jerseys around and like I'm not trying to set my kid up for that I'm like why are you wearing another man's jersey. Is that a thing. I have never heard that I don't think I've ever seen like a guy in a jersey and been like oh that's not an egg for me Lindsay you need to do the tick tock that's like my ics because I've never heard that that doesn't bother me. Lincoln is also I bought him two jerseys for his birthday and I sent them to unit text but I that doesn't bother me I Lincoln all Lincoln and Jackson I feel like are pretty aligned.
Starting point is 00:59:32 I'm with the whole basketball thing in the jersey thing because Lincoln also loves jerseys but yeah I don't there's no advice for this. Okay, these are two sex ones back to back lots of sex questions on here recently so I thought I would throw mine out there squirting my boyfriend keeps begging me to squirt for him and I just don't know if it's possible. Do we think that it can be a taunting thing or just a natural thing if I'm lucky I'm lucky. It can be a taught thing. I've read different things. I've read certain things that say every woman has the ability to do it and it's just like figuring that part out. And then I've also read things that it's not everybody can do it, but it was confirmed by a doctor who filled a bladder with dye. It was like a mixture of dye and and urine. You talked about this, but here's the thing, but I don't know if it can be like induced like obviously everyone can pee. So I don't know if it can be like, I don't know if everybody can do it.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Remember like last summer when we regularly talked about weaving and bone cleft on the podcast. I also feel like bone would be the person that would say that you can like squirt on command squirt on command. Yes, some can some women can I know that, but I don't think that's a thing. I think that this happens just like naturally if you're having sex with somebody that it's happened before. I feel like it's just like maybe the makeup with that partner. Okay, I'm on for you wellness.com. I googled can people learn how to squirt and it says we've gone from teaching people or attempting to teach people about finances. How to squirt, sex ed.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Okay, this says, of course, some of us have always known we have maybe even been embarrassed while it happened unexpectedly until the mighty squirt became celebrated as visual proof of the elusive female orgasm. Now it seems like everyone wants to know how to squirt or how to make someone else squirt. As with many things sex related the answers are complex and deeply individual some squirt with ease. Some can learn how to squirt and some may never get there. So that's your answer. Okay, the next sex question and then we've got to do some foul play before we go. What are the sexual acts that you think men should stop doing during sex be honest? I think they should stop like playing DJ with my clit like that's not okay and and you need to listen to the fucking women.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Like if I put your hand somewhere, leave it there. If I say don't fucking move, don't move. If I tell you to do this, then fucking do it. I'm changing positions a million times because I'm not sure if you're trying to spice this up or if you're trying to keep yourself from getting off. Don't know what it is, but it's just something I'm not a fan of. So I think that we should normalize that it's okay to stay in like one or two positions during one sexual encounter. The sexual acts you think men should stop during sex. I just I cannot. I don't understand like the rough hands and then you're just like not even rubbing it correctly. I can't that it's the most frustrating thing. That's also why you like girls.
Starting point is 01:03:02 This is true. This is this is true. I don't like their hands aren't DJing my clit. Oh shit. I just ripped my gamer set off. I just men need to read on like sex sex 101 or like how to I'm not saying every man because obviously the ones that are like super super experienced or the ones that are willing to listen to their partners are fine. There have been some men like some of my boyfriends have really just like I don't want to I don't want to cut on my lady parts. I don't want it to be rubbed raw. I don't want it to be inflamed and flamed like I remember one of my exes. Thank God this didn't happen to me because I probably would have passed away. He said that he fingered a girl after eating hot chips and he didn't watch his hands and she flipped out on him.
Starting point is 01:03:56 And I was like rightfully fucking so. I love hearing stories from like my whoever I'm like dating like my partners like I love hearing stuff about their exes. It doesn't make me mad. I'm just like I have so many questions like tell me about the time that you fingered her after you ate hot chips like I need to know exactly what happened how the conversation went how you guys cooled it down. Did it ever happen again. And also that's just nasty and like unsanitary. I'm going to call this person out. I don't even know them. But the fact that you went from a bag of chips and to my whole vagina. To a bag inside my body. Like absolutely not like did you think about potentially like you went from Cheetos to my kuchi big problem like not a fan of that. Ask ex. Can you imagine someone going down on you after eating flaming hot Cheetos like I'm sure like that's happened to people. Oh I'm sure. I'm sure that's like a weird kink that some people have. But can you guess the ex that it was. Don't say it on this podcast but text it to me. Oh wait. It's one of you. OK. Hold on. I already know who it is. I'm texting you right now.
Starting point is 01:05:04 If you get it right. I will fucking die. I will pass away. Yep. When she knows it. She fucking knows. I'm done. I knew immediately when you said that when you said the flaming hot Cheetos that's all that you needed to tell me. Also one other position that I feel like most of my girlfriends bitch about all the time when we're talking about sex which we do talk about a lot. Jack Hammer. They got to stop. They have got to stop. Like that needs to end. Yeah. What are you doing because what you're doing is you're creating friction and at that point not fun. It's a coochie fart. Like that's the only thing that's happening. It's a coochie fart. Can we put that on a t-shirt. It's a coochie fart. Like that's it. Just it's a coochie. It's a coochie fart. No that needs to be like a coosie or like. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Something like no one's like a stick around with a t-shirt. It's like it's a coochie fart. Like come on. It's a stick. I'll play. We've got. We're all play. So me and my fiancee like to keep videos are of specific naughty times we spent together on our phones. Normally we keep these in a locked folder away from crying eyes. Normally. One day my mother-in-law was oh no. Oh no. One day my mother-in-law was scrolling through my fiance's pictures on his phone. He had screenshotted some football boots and asked her for an opinion on which ones to buy. He specifically asked her to only swipe left but as she was looking through she decided the need to go back to the beginning to get another look. Now my fiance has an iPhone which decides to play videos as soon as you scroll into them in the gallery.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Her face turned red and she squealed through my fiance's phone across the table back to him and said I don't think I was meant to see that. In absolute horror I remembered that the video she just watched is me sitting on a stick on our sofa. And that she was oh that she sat on and going to town sending love from North UK. Oh my god. I would die. I would fucking die. Have you never been okay sending something that you know immediately you probably just should not be sending. I don't care who it's to but like and then you automatically think that you send it to your in-laws so you have to go back to. Yeah your tech thread and make sure it went to the right person and it's like if that went to my in-laws that would be very fucking bad. Like I don't think I would ever be able to look at those people in the eyeballs like could you imagine.
Starting point is 01:07:43 I would never be able to look at them ever the same ever again. No fucking way. No fucking way. So I have this one friend who was in a situation. It was a cheating situation. And what happened was her guy that she was seeing had a wife and the photos that she was sending not only went to this man's phone but went to his tablet. And it was like mortifying things you know like fingering herself and like all of these just like risque things. And she was telling me about how mortified she was that another woman had seen them at this point. And I'm just thinking to myself if anyone ever saw content that I was creating for the person. No shut up. Stop right there. The fact that you just said. If anyone saw the content I was creating like I know I know that's what you're doing.
Starting point is 01:08:52 But using content you're creating in a sexual sentence like in a sexual context is so funny to me. Like what is this only fans. I would be mortified like even your best girlfriends who have like one of my girlfriends shaved me when I was big pregnant with Creed or Lux I can't remember. And I wouldn't want her to even see like she saw my parts but I wouldn't want her to see like my sexual things my sexual content. Your sexual content that you have created like nobody wants to see or needs to see that outside of the person that it was intended for. It's just like weird and it's an awkward thing and this is also why I need to just issue a public service announcement. Don't let other people go on your fucking iPhone. No yeah and definitely maybe don't have the same password on your iPad as well.
Starting point is 01:09:43 Oh wait also I think about this regularly as well it's kind of morbid as well. If you passed away and someone scrolled through your camera roll on your phone mortified like I'm absolutely mortified. This is another public service announcement that we should all be responsible human beings because any of us could have a heart attack. Somebody could come in scare us. Anything could happen our ceiling could cave in knock us dead. We need to be prepared for something like that to happen because your camera roll. I'm here to tell you any person that is signed up listening to coffee combos your camera roll is as scary as ours I'm convinced. And the screenshots alone of things that I screenshot I would want nobody saying.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Oh 100% when I so how I just said a little bit earlier in the podcast that I listen I like to ask like stories about your exes. I was me and Elijah were going through like his iPad stuff because he doesn't really use it anymore so we're scrolling through and I'm like you screenshot like the weirdest stuff like there was nothing like embarrassing in there. But I was like this is so like this stuff is so weird. Yeah and so I already told Chris and I said if when I pass away I need you to smash my phone with a hammer and then also burn it and then take the crumbs and throw it into the ocean. Like I need them to sink down to the bottom of 750 feet in the ocean like do not let anyone get a hold of this. I think that we should normalize making people have their person that once they hear that you're dead that that person immediately goes and gets the phone. I would go get mine that's what I want to know who they're like I can think of a couple people that would try to get yours. Hobbies immediately running running Chris running probably some other probably some others.
Starting point is 01:11:44 I don't think Joe would give a fuck but like it would be like oh good good. I bit dead. She's done. Okay one more foul play. Okay. All right. All right. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:11:56 My husband and I decided we wanted to have some sexy time so he was trying to be innovative on how to last longer. This was without without my knowledge. He took a shower put on a ring while in the bathroom and came out ready to go. That's what I thought. Yeah. I mean I didn't know if she yeah it has to be. I start by going down and about five minutes in I realized my lips and mouth are tingling. I asked him if he I asked him if the loop he used was the loop that warmed up.
Starting point is 01:12:23 He said he didn't use any first red flag. Something was on his dong and all I can think of was holy moly I'm allergic to something. I started to freak because at this point my entire mouth is now numb. He then nonchalantly says it's probably the lidocaine I used. The what? This motherfucker literally used lidocaine thinking it would help him last longer. Pro tip don't do it. First of all this is why men are dumb.
Starting point is 01:12:51 First of all there's lube that is literally to help you last longer and it's I don't think it's lidocaine but my ex had to use it because he had a pre ejaculation problem where he would come before he put it in. Hold on. I'm going to text you and tell me if I get this one right. I was like I thought I thought there was like a sound issue and you're like hold on. Lindsay why are you getting these all right? I knew it. I knew it.
Starting point is 01:13:17 Yeah my ex had like he would come before he even put it in and he had to get this lube and it would desensitize but I don't think it was lidocaine but this man put fucking lidocaine on his dick. Okay but I don't even know what lidocaine is. I don't know. It's what they use on your like if you get something at the dentist. It's like local anesthetic so like if you have to get a mole removed, if you have to get a filling, if you have to get stitches. So why would you have that at your house? Because I think that you can get like topical lidocaine.
Starting point is 01:13:47 Maybe like an oragel type of situation or tattoo. They have it for tattoos now where you can put it on your skin so that you don't feel the tattoo. Oh okay. So he must have ordered it online or something. Well I'm sorry for her. Like I'm really sorry for her and I don't know why he did this. There is no explanation for what men do on a regular basis. Outside of that.
Starting point is 01:14:12 I can't. I need to truly know an answer to this question and it's like a question that I've also thought about a lot. If a man doesn't last long, is it because your cootie is just that good or is it like another problem? Let me ask. Alright hold on. Just stay put. Who are you asking? Elisha.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Hello. Babe if you're having sex with a woman and you don't last long. Is it because the pussy is good or is it because the man just can't last long? It depends on the situation. Oh so okay. So it varies by person. Okay got it. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:14:59 My emotional connection with somebody won't last long. If you have an emotional connection with somebody then you might not last long? Yeah. That's interesting. Okay. Great. Love you. There you have it.
Starting point is 01:15:12 It depends on the person. Okay. So I need everybody to answer that question because I thought it just meant they can't last long because you just got that good a cootie. So on that note, if you cooties have not gone over to coffee combos, podcast, Instagram, go over there. We're gonna be posting stuff there for like links and stuff that we've talked about on episodes.
Starting point is 01:15:37 We're gonna be much better about posting that stuff. And then just one update on the Telegram group before we go. We have seen everyone asking about the changes coming that were mentioned and starting in February every two weeks, we're gonna be scheduling an evening video chat and picking a few topics to chat about there. Sort of like a mini podcast episode but with the added benefit of listener involvement. It's super exciting. I'm so excited about it.
Starting point is 01:16:06 I'm excited too. I've seen Kristen already getting this on our calendar. So I've seen it pop up already a couple of times in the coming weeks and we will be advertising the topics and the dates ahead of time. So everyone will be able to mark their calendar and these topics are gonna be specific to that group and not things that we have discussed on the podcast. You guys can also find us on TikTok and you can stitch or do at our TikToks and we will repost them.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Also you can remix our reels on Instagram and do the same and I can't wait to see the content that you guys create. And if you have not subscribed to our show, you can do that from any podcast app and always first at podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. All month long on Pluto TV, stream the biggest Tyler Perry movies free. Watch your favorites like Medea's Witness Protection and Medea's Big Happy Family.
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