Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Outgrowing Friends & Calling CPS On My Mom

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

CC318: This morning we learn that Lindsie does NOT know who Benjamin Franklin is and that Kail still hasn't unpacked her luggage from Mexico... wow. Adrienna Bailon's comment about her being a D-list celebrity gives some perspective to Lindsie and Kail on their own status. A conversation about outgrowing friendships and evolving through the years reminds both Lindsie and Kail about the unhinged and borderline illegal things their parents said to them to keep them in line. Kail recounts the time she called CPS on her mom. For Foul Play, a listener's neighbors get to hear her during her Happy Time, and a reminder to maybe buy a privacy screen for your phone if you got nosey family members.  Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors!Bartesian: Visit Bartesian.com/CONVOS for the best Black Friday deals ever Blindsgalore: Visit Blindsgalore.com for their huge Black Friday Sale when everything will be 50% off Honeylove: Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to honeylove.com/Coffee #honeylovepod Loft: Use code COFFEE to get $25 off your full price purchase, non combined with other offers. $25 off your full price purchase valid now until Monday, January 1, 2024 at 2:59am ET on Loft.com. To receive discount, promo code COFFEE must be entered online only at checkout. Excludes sneak preview, third-party, cashmere, taxes, shipping, purchases of gift cards. Non full pice product, charges for gift boxes and payment of a style rewards credit card account. Unless otherwise stated cannot be combined with any other offer, total store promotion and free shipping on qualifying orders of $99+. No adjustments prior to purchases. Not valid for cash. Pair Eyewear: Go to paireyewear.com/COFFEECONVOS for 15% off your first purchase Skylight: Get $15 off a Skylight Frame at SkylightFrame.com/CONVOS

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you? This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirit in discussion about motherhood friendship Family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's kale and Lindsay Hello coffee combos, It's fucking Monday for us. For us. I think it's Thursday for them. It's Monday for us. It's a shit show for us. I'm exhausted and I'm not fully prepared to take on today or this week alone.

I want to tell you that I thought I was going to be prepared to take on this week because I went out of town and thought, oh wow, I'm going to come back like really refreshed and great sleep and I'm going to eat well and I'm going to do all I've done none of those fucking things. Yeah, I've done none of those things as well. I'm just, I can't, today just feels like hell, actually, and it's 902 AM. So I am with you wholeheartedly on that. And we can just dive right into what we have today because there's just I got home at 6.30 last night. And I don't know if this is how you are whenever you travel, but I am the type of person that needs everything like in its place before I leave, because if I come back to a house

that is just in complete disarray, I don't know how to manage. And then I've got to start unpacking bags, then I've got laundry that didn't get done. I used to be really good whenever we were married about trying to do the laundry before I got home. And for whatever reason, that part kind of went out the window.

So I just come home with a mound of dirty clothes. I didn't get my towels washed before I left. So I immediately started washing towels, couch blankets, didn't put my sheets on my bed, so they were clean, but just like not on my bed. Every stitch of laundry that I did before I left was on my bed and had to be put away. And I don't care, like I can run laundry all day long,

but it's the putting away part that I just fucking suck at. I hate putting stuff away. I still have, wherever I went last, Mexico or before Mexico, I still have a suitcase unpacked in my closet right now. Oh, so you're one of those too. But also, we are just now washing,

we just went in the camper to like clean it out and like winterize it and was not prepared for the amount of towels and laundry we left in there. So that was all getting washed this weekend. But yeah, I hate if I go somewhere, especially a cabin or an Airbnb situation or a hotel with laundry service, I do do my laundry before I leave. Okay. Also, do you wash your couch blankets like every week?

Yes, especially because we have cats we have animals kids are dirty we got crumble cookie over the weekend and They're a lot like you know how big they are and then they're just like a lot So like literally you take two bites at a time and come back to it tomorrow because it's just so and it's so sweet So Creed like licked the icing off of one and then put it on the couch. Yeah, see that's specifically that is why we don't take anything out of the kitchen. I do have a little update, you know how I've had like ant problems at my house in the past. I don't know if it is the season, but they they just like come around and you'll wake up and they're sleeping on your bed. The ants?

Yes, like you will just find like a random like little black, my nanny calls them piss ants, but like they're just like little tiny ants and you'll find them in the most random places. This morning I found two in my bed and I'm like, okay, were you guys fornicating on my bed last night whenever I was sleeping? Like what was happening?

The little ones don't bother me as much, like the little teeny tiny ones. It's the big fat black ants that gross me the fuck out. Oh, yeah. And they they just look like they have like so many guts. Just look up natural like ant ant repellent. Like I spray my kids place that outside with lemon pledge because the spiders and whatever don't like the citrus look up like certain things that you can spray your baseboards with.

I don't know if it's lemon pledge or put drops of peppermint essential oil in the corner. So obviously, you're not slipping all over it. So if anybody finds out about me looking like a fucking weirdo walking around my house like dropping like little thing. I have so many essential oils. Do you remember like when they were so popular when they first came out? Oh, I still use them. Okay, so I have like a whole bag of these essential oils. Never fucking use them. They are stored next to actually in my spice cabinet next to my son's tea.

Your, his teeth are in your spice cabinet? Oh yeah. It's the weirdest. It's probably, I do a lot of weird shit, but like, it's probably one of the weirdest things that I do. But let me tell you why they're in the spice cabinet because it's somewhere that he would never look. Also, yeah, like he would never look there. Okay.

But if someone came in this house and like something happened to me and they came to start taking stuff out and they saw that I had an entire baggie of all of my son's baby teeth and my spice cabinet, they would immediately think I was a serial killer. Actually, I saw a video of actually, actually think it was on Joe Rogan's podcast. Um, they, they went to when Ben Franklin died, they went to like do shit with his house. They were going to turn it into a museum and it turned out that he had like over 15 bodies in there.

Um, wait, wait. There was like bones of 15 or 20 bodies and it ended up being that like, it was more of like, um, like an experimental lab. It wasn't like he was a serial killer, but like, like a school of anatomy type deal. Did anyone know about this? No, not until. Wait, Ben Franklin, like as in the president, he was not a president. Ben Franklin was then why is he on a bill? Because he invented electricity allegedly. Okay, well, I don't really have much more to say on this topic because evidently I provided nothing. I can't. I, Lindsay, shut, please shut up. Do you know? No, no, no, You go ahead and then I'll tell you something else, a fact about me.

Okay, I was going to tell you another like hack for natural cleaning. Yeah. So you know how we love the smell of bleach, like I love it. I want to go to bed bleach in my nose, but that's probably frowned upon and also probably causes cancer or something. So a natural alternative to like a strong chemical cleaner would be like 3% hydrogen peroxide with the, like, you know, those trigger sprays, like you can get them at like the dollar store. And so one of hydrogen peroxide, like in those brown bottles and then one of apple cider vinegar, and then you spray one of each on the surface and it's supposed to do a better job than chloroquine bleach.

That's so interesting. Does anyone else use vinegar in their washing machine? Yes. And to like run a cycle by itself just to like cycle it out. I need to do that so bad. The cleaners for what I don't have the front loader. I have, it's basically like a front loader, but I just got the one from the top because front loader stinks so bad. I'll never get another one. They're, they're so foul. Um, but will always use to put vinegar and I had no idea what he was doing. I was like, I use that vinegar for doubled eggs. Like why the hell is it in the laundry room?

Why do you use the, why are you using vinegar for your double eggs? I don't know. That's like what you put in it. Where? Like you put in the yolk, like in the yolk mixture. You put like either, you can use regular vinegar or you can use, I think it's like malted vinegar in it. And it adds like a little tang.

So does mustard. No, there is no mustard going in my deviled eggs. There's no fucking vinegar going in my deviled eggs ever. Okay, well you wouldn't even know. If you had them at my house on Thanksgiving, you would be eating the entire confection, stop talking. And also there's no relish going in deviled eggs. If you put relish in deviled eggs,

you are probably a serial killer. The relish is hit or miss for me. Like I'll eat them with relish, I'll eat you put relish and doubled eggs, you are probably a cereal killer. The relish is hit or miss for me. Like I'll eat them with relish, I'll eat them without relish. Like that one is not like a staple ingredient, but the vinegar is really throwing me off. It's so good. Learned that from my nanny Faye.

So if you have a problem with it, probably take it up with her. Back to Ben Franklin. I failed history two times in high school. So two years. Yeah, it shows. You can't show us. Two years.

And had to go to summer school for it and also learned nothing in summer school. So that also shows. I, every person in my family is terrible at geography, maps and anything history related. Okay. Like the entire clan. Those are probably two things that I could do. Like I don't have a problem with that. I definitely don't have a problem with geography usually. And then history, like throw some dates at me. If I read them and take a quiz, I'll be all right.

Oh no, I definitely had to study and then studied and failed and then retook it again. Got it, that's how I end with math. Oh, see, I didn't really have a problem with the math part. It was just for whatever reason. And history is so interesting. Like I wish that I was like really good at it. I like going to museums. I like going and being a part of history stuff, but I don't know

anything about it. I follow this girl on TikTok and I think she's from the UK. And she does deep dives into like all the history things, especially like Queen Elizabeth, all of them. And like, and then also I follow another one, a separate historian, I guess, would you call them a historian? And she gets into like the Roman Empire. She talks about like ancient Egypt.

Like I'm fascinated, like I'm so fascinated. Okay, well you obviously need to send me this person because I need to use it. I'll send you both, they're both really good. Research myself, the only thing that I'm interested in are true crime cases Well, there's a lot of true crime and ancient history believe it or not. There is yeah Yeah, they just handled it very differently and like it's kind of fascinating like how they handled it And then what happens when they realized like oh fuck that wasn't like kind of like the Salem witch trials

happens when they realized like, Oh, fuck, that wasn't like kind of like the Salem witch trials. But do you feel like they could have just been sneakier and it was easier to be like a little bit more methodical because the chances of getting caught. There's like no technology, no internet. Like that's probably why I'm just like so fascinated by their evidence like what they consider to be evidence that Could be strictly circumstantial or conspiracy theory and they're getting tried as like as if this was like all like part of a Yeah, like the conspiracy is fact and then you're just like wait a minute I'm just concerned on this obviously. I need to go take some history classes.

That's what I've established thus far during this recording. Also, I need to know as a mom that has your kids half the time, I wake up this morning and have a Pilates class scheduled at 8 a.m. Again, I'm gonna call Kristen out. She scheduled me for a fucking cardio class this

morning. She don't know what the fuck Pilates like she don't know nothing about Pilates. 8am. No, she read the description. No, no, no, no, because this is the thing. This is the thing. This is why she schedules it. She schedules it because if there is ever a conflict with collective children of coffee combos podcast, she has the ability to go on and like move stuff around. If I do it, then I'm like dead set to that. And then that's just like what's happening. If she does all of the scheduling, then as long as it's on my schedule,

it doesn't matter if it gets moved or whatever, because I'm just taking care of all of that shit that's on my schedule for the day. So like if you had a conflict, then she's going to probably look at my calendar and be like, oh, Lindsay could move X, Y and Z and then she can just like pop on there and change it and it's not a big deal and I don't care. Okay. You know what I'm saying? So is there like classes that she can pick from that you can be like, okay, any of these Pilates except for this? I actually like the class. It's just when I get there because I don't like it. I don't know like which one signed up for.

So when I go to log in, it'll say like the name of the class at the top and it's like cardio skull, whatever level. And I'm like, oh, fuck cool. Like I guess I'm taking a flying cardio flying class today. And I was unaware. You're doing after that. It's a Monday morning and I woke up like, not even kidding, like 20 times last night

thinking it was morning time. And I did get up to go to the bathroom multiple times last night, so I have no idea what was going on with me there. Something weird in the universe, which speaking of universe, I have to ask you a question about something that I saw and I want to know if you saw it. But I start scrolling on TikTok as I'm laying in my bed where I almost make myself late to Pilates.

I saw me in last night and it was like, I see that you're calling but I'm just waiting for your call to go away so I can continue scrolling on TikTok. That was my alarm this morning. I just like continue scrolling. I literally start bawling. I see this little girl on TikTok and it's her mom that's a videoing her and the caption on it was like, I had no idea whenever I had you that I was going to lose half of my time and And literally just start balling. And normally like I'm pretty good and I've accepted the reality that that is my reality

for the rest of forever, whenever it comes to Jackson. But it's so hard sometimes. Does she mean she didn't know she was gonna lose half her time with her child or with herself? With her child. Like when I had you, I didn't know that I was gonna lose half of my time with her child or with herself? With her child. Like when I had you, I didn't know that I was gonna lose half of my time with you. It's I say it's bittersweet because moms often don't get any

type of break. So especially if you're in an intact family, or you don't you have a family or a single mom, but you don't have the father of your child or the father, the other parent involved or a village that helps you, you get no type of break, right? So it's bittersweet for me because I'm losing half my time, but I also get to fill my cup in the summer times, not during the school year, because I have Lux and Creed every week during the school year.

It's so bittersweet because you miss such big things or you're not a part, like, I definitely didn't think that I never thought that when I was having these kids. I never thought, oh my God, I'm going to lose half my time with you. No, I don't. I mean, some people probably do go into that situation because, you know, by choice because, yeah, you can have a child with a friend. I know somebody that had a child with a friend for the sole purpose of them being friends and having 50% of the time each. But I would say most people are not doing that.

Doing that, yeah. And so I'm just laying in the bed watching this TikTok, bawling my eyes out. And for whatever reason, I keep subjecting myself to it because I keep watching it like over and over again. And you just think about like the small things. And I know he, Jackson has only lost for no, 60 total and he's 10 and a half. He's lost Lincoln too.

Lincoln's only lost six. Six. Yeah. And I just think about like the small little things of okay, if he is at wills and they decide to pull a tooth. Like, I'm not going to be there into the grand scheme of life. It's probably not a big deal. It's just teeth. And I was there when he lost most all of his other teeth. But those are just like the small things you think about. Or the trip that they went on that was like a normal yearly family trip, always celebrated my birthday on that trip. And then Will yearly family trip, always celebrated my

birthday on that trip. And then Will took somebody else, you know, this year on that family trip. And like, I have nothing to do with that anymore. It's just, it's hard. And I think about all the days that I drove him to school that I'm only doing that twice a week now. And it absolutely breaks my heart. twice a week now and it absolutely breaks my heart. Kristen, you know how you and I have personally been talking about bras and how we hate them, but we've recently discovered our perfect fit? Uh, yeah, because thank you, Honey Loves. I absolutely love Honey Loves v-neck bra.

It is such a smooth fit for under your clothes. And it's just the ultimate t-shirt bra that I wear with everything. I have not showered yet, but I already laid out my bra because that thing's going on today, honey. I'm obsessed with the crossover bra because, you know, big chested over here,

I usually had like the underwire situation and I'd get poked and then sometimes underwire comes out and then you're bleeding and it's just, you know, it was not a good time for me but then I tried their best-selling cross over bra. So, so comfortable but it is so supportive but like no underwire. So I'm a huge huge fan plus it got like mesh detailing. It's like a little sexy. It's not like the grandma-esque situation that there is out there for a lot of bigger chested women. This is one bra that you're actually going to enjoy wearing

and won't want to take it off because, you know, other bras I've had to fling across the room the minute that I don't need them on anymore. Honey Love has my favorite bra. They also have perfected shapewear in my opinion. I love that Honey Love is just as easy to put on as it is to take off. And if you've ever worn shapewear, you know that that statement is true. Shapewear should not be hard and their products make you look good and feel good.

So treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market and save up to 50% off site-wide at honeylove.com slash coffee this month only. Inventory is limited in the sale in soon, so don't miss their best deals of the year. After your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. It's time to ditch the underwire for good thanks to Honey Love. Lindsey, I have to tell you about a gift that I did last year that I think I'm going to redo for new people this year because last year's people loved it so much. I gifted Skylight Frame. I also gifted Skylight Frame and I have for several years and I feel like it's the gift that just keeps giving.

So if you guys are looking for a meaningful gift this holiday season, that your loved ones will actually use and thoroughly enjoy, I highly recommend checking out Skylight Frames. I gave this to Will's parents several years ago, and I'm pretty sure they still have it in their kitchen. And I love the fact that

with them having multiple grandchildren that everyone can send the photos to one frame and it's like a surprise when something new pops up. Skylight is actually a touchscreen photo frame. You can send photos to straight from your phone and they appear in seconds, which is so cool to me. You can easily personalize Skylight with gift mode. Gift mode lets you add photos to the frame ahead of time. So as soon as it's unwrapped and plugged in, their most treasured

memories will appear. I think that's like such a cool gift idea. Perfect gift for everybody. You know, you could do grandparents for new parents for your spouse. It's a great group gift. There's just so many things that you can do with the Skylight Frame. Effortlessly send photos from photo to frame with the free Skylight app or unique email. It's so easy to use. Setup is like less than 60 seconds, honestly. The touchscreen makes it super easy. You could swipe through photos, tap to see new ones sent,

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That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A- A M E dot com slash congos. Um, do you know Adrienne Bylon is? Yes. So I loved her. I've loved her since three LW days. If anyone was a fan of three LW shoes. What's three LW? What? Is a girl is a girl group?

They're called three LW. Yeah, three little women. Um, no, I have no idea what that is. Oh my god. I'll let you that she was Rob Kardashian's ex girlfriend. So I loved her. I'm pretty sure when I knew her in three LW was before the Cheetah girls. I'm pretty sure. But then she was a Cheetah girl and now she does like the show with The View. No, it's not The View. The Daily I think it's called. The Talk. Yeah, The Real.

The Real, sorry. The Real. Yes, so she gets on The Real and she's talking about her experience that she claims, she feels that she's a delift celebrity and that she loves being a delift celebrity because she gets to have like her level of what she desires of privacy and she doesn't have to worry about getting ambushed when she goes out in public and she has her bonnet on and she just says that this is something that she completely

wants and she's okay with and she goes on to say like, you know, she's okay with being considered mediocre in that way. There are aspects of her life that she does not consider herself mediaeoker and that's being a wife and a mother. She'll never be mediaeoker in those aspects. But in terms of celebrity, she loves where she's at. And I was like, I have never in my life resonated with something more because I, when, you know, the peak of teen mom, I remember paparazzi,

I didn't see it, but they got me and Javi kissing in the doorway before I got on a flight, you know, at my first apartment, like really, and I'm not saying I never played into it at any point. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying like moments that I have not wanted to be public have been outed and taken away from me. And so I know I've really resonated with that. And I'm not even on her level. I wouldn't consider her a D-list celebrity. I would consider myself like Z-list and she's like A-B-list because she dated her Kardashian.

She's in the Cheetah girl. She had a girl group. She's on the show. You know what I mean? So there's she, but she loves it. And I was like, I love this so much. And I also agree. I also would not consider her a D-list.

And I want to know how she feels like she avoids the media because if she has tips and tricks It's crazy like you and I are still being followed and we haven't been on TV in forever you know My next point to that that I was going to make is maybe we should consider our circle. Maybe she has a better circle than what we've been avoiding. You know?

Yeah. But also she lives in such like a high profile area too. I know. I don't know. But she was like, I can go to the bodega or whatever she said, the grocery store, whatever she can go. But what's a bodega or whatever she said, the grocery store, whatever she can go. And-

Wait, what's a bodega? Oh my God. Wait, see, I need to bring you to the East Coast. Oh, you live in the East, but I need to bring you up North and I'm gonna take you, I'm gonna show you like Ben Franklin, not, I'm gonna take you to like a museum so that you can learn about Ben Franklin.

And I'm also gonna take you to the bodegas because they're like little corner stores that like some people call them like a poppy store, but like they have some of them have, nevermind, just forget it, it's a little market, it's a little store. You need to tell me what's a nice. So sometime, like I went to one growing up, I always went to Yadis.

Yadis was on the corner of my friend's street and we would always go there for snacks and stuff. Sometimes they have like good Spanish food in there or they just have like hot food or they have like tons of snacks. Can't like I just like a little like a little mini market like a little convenience store. Yeah but what if I just like put this word bodega in my cat in like my vocabulary and I'm just like oh I'm going to the bodega. Like, where the fuck is that? Like I have Publix and Kroger. No, those are not bodegas. No, those are not bodegas. So anyways, so she just says that she can go and like not have makeup on or like go in

her little sweat outfit and she doesn't have to worry about anything. And I just, her, I loved that she appreciated that. And I also love that she's so real that she can still doing those things and is able to do those things and not have cameras like blast it in her face. She also is not that I know of to my knowledge is not involved in anything controversial, controversial. Okay, well, I think that it needs to be like more normalized

in this industry because I think it's a very common place that when people in their entertainment industry get something, they just want more and it's never enough, right? It's like, okay, well, I have this and I have that and that's good and great, but I want this, this, this and this. And so I really like that mindset of being okay with where you are and being comfortable and accepting that. I don't think that that is common in this industry. I know a lot of celebrities who will just do publicity, not even celebrities.

I know reality people who will do publicity stunts just to stay relevant. People accuse me of it all the time, but it's like, no, I just, whatever I put on my podcast and Instagrams, those are the things I'm willing to share. If I don't want to share more than that, I shouldn't have to share more than that. People should not out me for more than that. Same for you, same for anyone else that, we've been there, we've done that,

and we're moving on. Whatever we put out now is what we put out. My biggest problem in what we do is that we have people that like to tell our business and then tell our business in a way that benefits them in some way. And it's like, okay, well, first of all, that's not even an accurate recollection of events

that took place. Number one, number two, why are you talking about me? If I want to talk about me, let me tell my story. I don't need you to tell my story because you aren't my story. Period. Period and discussion. Actually, I saw this video and it was talking about changing and negativity. And it went into this whole spiel about how some friends can't understand why the friend chooses not to fuck with you anymore when you do certain things and they can't understand that their friend made the choice to grow and no longer do said thing because that thing

isn't good for them. Some friends go, you're a bitch and they give you the thing to make you feel bad that you're new. And in life for any changes, there is a world of negativity that comes with change sometimes and progression means that you change what you change because there's values and reasons why you change. And when I saw it, I felt like you could definitely relate to that a lot. So are you saying like, if you and I, you and I are friends, and then I start making

decisions that you don't align with, you're gonna stop being friends with me. Is that kind of what it's? I think, yes, I think that's kind of what it's saying, but at 34 years old, I don't really feel like my values are my values. I don't really feel like they're going to change, if that makes sense, you know? And like you and I, I don't know that you could really

relate it to our friendship because we've always had different views, different thoughts and always been able to maintain a mutual respect. I think this is in a situation of you have this friend and you ride with probably a bunch of decisions that they've made for a period of time and that's good and great. And then all of a sudden out of the blue, you're like, okay, I don't ride with that anymore. So like I'm just not going to be your friend. Like, like there's never been a time and I'm thinking about friends that like surround

me today. Everyone knows where I stand about everything. So if you're making a decision that I think is just like a shitty decision, I'm probably going to respectfully let you know, like, hey, like I don't co-sign this. It doesn't mean that I'm going to not be your friend because you're making this decision, but you just need to know I don't co-sign this and I'm not the person to come to when shit goes south because you did this. Right.

And I think that's kind of where I stand. Like I've definitely distanced myself from some people that I would consider my best friends. And I think that's kind of where I stand. Like I definitely distance myself from some people that I would consider my best friends. And I don't say distance, like I don't talk to you anymore. Like I still talk to you pretty regularly. I just might not hang out with you regularly because of where you're at and where I'm at. I do also understand the other side of it

where sometimes you're just, that is not my cup of tea anymore. So I'm, you know,, respectfully like you continue doing you I have no hard feelings, but I am gonna separate the friendship like I'll catch you on the flipside kind of thing I understand both both Positions like we get one life and I'm not gonna waste my energy in my time on someone am I on a friendship or a relationship or a situation ship anymore where it doesn't, it doesn't serve me. If we're not aligning, I don't, either I'm going to sit and

I'm going to ride with you, whether I agree or not, or I'm going to distance myself completely and that's the end of it. And I understand both positions. So like, I don't think there's anything wrong with, you know, what you decide. If I choose to no longer hang out with someone because I have evolved in a way that their season looks different than my season, that doesn't mean that I am now their enemy.

But I still privately ride with you, but we're just not, we're not in the same season anymore. We're not doing the same things anymore. And it's okay for you to continue doing what you're doing, but I don't want to co-sign those things, but I don't hate you. And I'm doing what I'm doing, but I don't want to co-sign those things, but I don't hate you. And I'm doing what I'm doing and where I'm at, you aren't. Period. And that's fine. That's fine.

Like I'll see you when I see you and I'll, you know, Hey, how are you kind of thing? And that's it. We keep it moving, but I don't, we're only in this life one time. So we might as well, you know, cut the bullshit or, you know, coat, you know, don't co-sign. But like I have my friend, Tony, I had her on baby mama's, We might as well cut the bullshit or don't co-sign. Like I have my friend Tony,

I've had her on baby mama's like three or four times. I'll ride with her until the wheels fall off. Like life or death, that is my friend. And she makes, like y'all think my choices are crazy and like what I do in my life is crazy. Like that bitch is crazy. I love her to death and I will never, I will never not be her friend because of her decisions. Like I just, she's one of those people that, because those decisions that she's making

that I don't necessarily align with, they don't affect me. Like and she also lives in Vegas. So it's a little bit different where, you know, if it was someone that I'm consistently hanging out with here at home, maybe I would, I don't know. I don't know, but like, I'll ride with that bitch, she'll wheels fall off. I don't care. I am. Kristen, I just recently checked my email and it is time for me to go to the eye doctor and I truly cannot wait to order a new pair of glasses from Pair Eyewear.

No, I love Pair. I've gotten to see so many of the base styles and the top frames. I love the fact that you can switch out the top frames for any and every event and occasion. So I think this would be super cute. I know Kale just placed an order, I believe, for some top frames for the squad so that they have like, you know, glasses that go with their PJ sets for the holidays.

And Corey's actually gonna be ordering a pair of these because he's due for glasses. I'm gonna be doing the smart thing and getting myself some of their blue frame glasses since I am constantly in front of a screen. I love that for you. So evidently, we're both gonna be shopping on pair. I was checking out their website a couple of minutes ago

and they have a new holiday collection out. So everybody needs to check that out. If you are trying to match your PJs with your little ones and you're wearing glasses, this is the perfect thing for you if you're looking for stocking stuffers or just gifting top frames to yourself. This would be the most wonderful time of the year to do this.

I just every time I think about Pear, I always hear Locke saying like, oh, you're kinetic ones. I know. And it's the greatest thing, it lives in my head rent free but we all love Pear here. So make every look merry with Pear Eyewear. Take advantage of Pear's holiday sale.

Go to PearEyewear.com. Use code HOLIDAY20 for 20% off your first Pear. And be sure to mention that Coffee Convo sent you in the post-checkout survey. We would greatly appreciate it. That's Pear, P-A-I-R, Eyewear.com, code HOLIDAY20. So this holiday season, loft can be your go to Lindsay. Thank you so much for telling me about this website and all the pieces here. I absolutely love them. You guys can check everybody off your list destination loft is

perfect. Give gifts galore both in store and online. You can shop a mix of gifts under $35 festiv finds Mary sweaters. If you're looking for a holiday sweater, this is your go-to place. I absolutely love Loft when I went shopping around on their website. I found so many pieces that I loved. I got boots, I got a Sherpa half zip sweatshirt. So cute, they have great jeans as well. So if you guys have not checked them out,

you definitely need to because their pieces touch on all the seasons, most relevant trends, and they're always offered at a really great price. They have fun pants silhouettes to choose from, flirty tops, midi skirts, sweater dresses, and fun outerwear that's perfect for fall. And they have new arrivals dropping all the time. So make sure you guys check them out.

As a thank you for listening from now through the end of the day on December 31st, 2023, use code coffee at loft.com to receive $25 off your full price purchase. Exclusions apply, see podcast description for terms. No, it made me think of you more specifically, but also some things that I've been through. You've been followed on TV and social media

since you were 17 years old. And I think a lot of people don't evolve as you evolve. Their mindset stays with where you were at 17. And you don't have room to change or evolve because they are stuck in that place. So they are just holding me to that same place when it's like, no bitch, I've done take accountability for that. I have a hundred times. I'm not there anymore.

I don't look at things that way. I'm sorry that you're still there kind of thing. It's like, oh, she changed or she became brand new or I don't even know that person anymore. And it's like, you're right, you don't because the 17 year old person is not the same as what you are today. Not even a little bit, not even a little bit.

But I love that you have all the stories to tell us from what you were when you were 17. I was just talking to Joe. We were handling an issue and I was, something else, it just like went off into a tangent. And he's like, do you remember when we were doing, when we were teenagers? And I was like, yeah, very much so.

Like those types of things were very much a part of my teenage experience, but I lived to tell the story. I don't even know how I'm alive right now. I'm glad that you are, but because you're raising a teenager now, I need to know from a parent who has a teenager, you have been a teenager. I'm not there yet.

Get ready. I judge my parents so hard for these stupid ass comments that they made all the time. We've been there. We have been teenagers before and we know what it's like. And this decision that you're making, you need to learn from the ones that we made. And it's like, no, I'm specifically not gonna learn

from the mistakes that you made. I probably need to like collect a couple myself. No, literally, like I truly believe more often than not. Like you can say, I think you said it on an episode, do as I say, not as I do. My mom used to say that Susie Q was famous for saying that and I brought You into this world. I'll take you out And I was like, okay, she also told me shouldn't have beat me to a bloody pulp, but that's me. You're here nor there

Those types of things I'm like No, like I have to learn this on my own. Like this is something that I need to go experience. I need to be put on my ass and, you know, figure it out myself. That's not something that some of these teenage things, you know, they are very much a part of the teenage experience, but I think as parents we want to protect our kids.

So it's natural for, I think a lot of parents to say those things because we don't want to see them go through the same hurts that we went through and same for our parents. Like, I know my mom has lived 100,000 lives in her 50-something years. Like, shit. A bitch like a cat.

The bitch with nine fucking lives. Like, I know she was speaking from experience, but I know that now, but even still, like, I had to do shit on my own. Like, I had to. Listen, there are certain things that are like extremes, right? My mom having me at 19 years old got it. I can see that lesson not trying to go there like we're good on that Staying out past curfew probably and see and you know how I'm gonna fuck around and find out

Probably something I'm gonna fuck around and find out about That's one of the ones that's like how I'm gonna fuck around and find out, probably something I'm gonna fuck around and find out about. That's one of the ones that's like, part of the teenage experience. Yeah, it's just like part of it. But so you and Joe were going down memory lane. He's like, you forget we were teenagers together. And I was like, no, I didn't forget.

I lived a thousand teenage lives before I met Joe. So let's not, let's not forget that, because I didn't meet him until 10th grade. So we started a teenager for like three years. Okay, so all the things that our parents said to us that literally should have basically been illegal. Like I brought you into this world and I'll take you out. Lincoln asked me that yesterday.

He was like, have you ever said this to us? I brought you into this world and I'll take you out. I said, No, I've never said that to you, but my mother said that to me. And I promise you, I will never say that to you for those reasons. Listen, that's where I was going with this, that there are certain things that our parents did growing up. Like, I don't fault them for it. Obviously you don't take me out, so really don't give a fuck. But thank you for letting me live. I'm sure at some points, the things that I say, you wish that you did take me out. But I would never ever say some shit like that to Jackson,

ever. I'll beat you to a bloody pulp. Like no, you won't. No, my mom would have but Why are you lying? But I'm like if I said that to my kids today They have pamphlets that's from school about child abuse. They're gonna call the child abuse hotline talking about my mom's threatening me I would never say that to my kids ever. What was the other one that we said? I'll do as I say notice I do yeah do as I say not

I never one time if I ever said that to my child Never have I never said that I was gonna beat him to a bloody pulp Never if I told him wait did your parents say that one to you too? Yes, no, why did they say those things? Like who did they think they were a bloody pulp? You're sick. You're sick You're fucking sick like but, but you didn't. So like, why are you lying to me? I bring call child services on my mom though.

Wait, you did before? Yeah. What'd you get? They came and they, well, I told them what was going on. How'd you get the number? Did you have internet? No, I don't, no, probably school. The school, the guidance counselor probably gave it to me

because the guidance counselor will call me in there so often. I was in middle school, I guidance counselor probably gave it to me because the guidance counselor will call me in there so often. I was in middle schools in like seventh, 30th grade and the, they came to, I remember them, they came to the house and my mom's husband at the time was a truck driver. So he was gone Monday through Friday. But my mom and I had gotten to like a physical altercation and I remember getting hit on the head.

I don't remember with what or if I like fell into something or if she actually did it. What really pissed me off though is that those, I know that my case was not as serious as others. Like I know that now, but at the time when I'm telling you that this transpired and my head hurts, like she was the woman when she had a camera and she was like this will look, it was basically like an x-ray camera. So she lied to me. There's no way that's the case. She was like, this will be able to see if there's nothing on the surface, but if there's

anything underneath, and I'll know if you're lying to me. Because my mom kept a very clean home. Like I've always said, my mom was a very functioning addict, a functioning alcoholic. So she would go to work and be fucked up and nobody would do anything. Or people would come to the house and she would get away with everything because the house was so kept up with. Never heard from child services again after that. You know what? That's what's so scary sometimes that almost in your situation you wish that everything

would have just been like collectively in disarray so that people would have believed you more. Yeah. But when it looks like one thing, but it's like really something else. And then people wonder why I've been able to live a double life sometimes in my adult life, like dating someone for two years and not saying anything. Yeah. I can live a double life because that's what I grew up doing. Like I live in a townhouse, the same house that was connected to I lived there in ninth grade.

My mom got fucked up one time and physically dragged me out by my hair in front of my neighbors. They called child protective services, nothing happened. Physically in front of people, dragged me out by my ponytail, nothing ever happened. We know how I feel about suing people, but in that situation, I'm like, you need to go back to the state and sue their asses. Like she gave you some traumas. Okay. But it's smoke and mirrors, right? Like why, you know, my parents always said when we were growing up, kids are natural born

liars. And it's like, but evidently you are too, because you were a child at one point and some of the shit you say is a lie. So I'm not lying about everything. Why would child protective services not take seriously the fact that someone else called and reported something, you called and reported something? If nothing more to put a string of things together to be like, okay, well, these have been the allegations against this person.

So everybody can't be lying. The common denominator is boozy Susie. I think that that time was probably just a case of what takes precedence. I wasn't, you know, for example, Ruby Frank is a perfect example. They were malnourished and had actual wounds to their wrists, you know, things like that. I think in and 100%, they should have been taken first and over my case. You know what I mean?

So I think it- But, you know what's so weird to me about Child Protective Services? A lot of times I have heard situations where they will come out and do like this, like investigation process, and then they'll leave the kids there. Why?

It's like, okay, so you're gonna come out, you are going to question child or children about alleged abuse, right? Then you're gonna expect them to tell you the truth of what happened, but then you're gonna leave them in the house with the abuser. Is a child really gonna tell the truth if they are fearful of this abuser? No, I've been I've rolled for my mom. So it's like a war system.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am actually speaking of Ruby Frank, I did see an update that people were saying like they hoped that the kids would have the courage to testify against their mom. But like also you're asking a child who looks to this person despite it's like Stockholm syndrome. Despite how much they're being abused by this one person, will they actually, one, you're going to ask them to do something so incredibly difficult. And two, they probably just want to see their mom get better at the ages that they are. You know what I mean?

And I think that was the case for me too, was like, I didn't actually want anything to happen to my mom. I just wanted her to get better. It was like telling the teacher when you're in school like, mm-hmm I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to get I don't want to get taken away I just want the situation to be better And so I wonder if it's the same situation for them like I mean I was from my mom was yours more of like an Accountability to let your mom know that like people are watching and she can't do the things that she was doing I don't know if I thought of it that way I think it was more like that like people are watching and she can't do the things that she was doing. I don't know if I thought of it that way. I think it was more like if these people are watching,

you'll change. Change. So not, I didn't give a fuck if she at the time if she took accountability or not, I just wanted it to get better. Like I wanted a mom, you know? So and I would imagine that same for like Ruby Frank's kids, like they probably, the little ones at least, probably, you know, they want their mom to get better, they want her to be who they thought or think she is or she was supposed to be. And I've always said, like, regardless of what type of mother you have, like you could have a saint or you could have the biggest sinner of a mother. I think it is natural instinct for a child

to want to be with their mother and want to be accepted by their mother. And so I think that you probably had experience with that. I know that I personally had experience with that. And I think of Ruby Frank's kids. And regardless of all the things that have happened, deep down inside of those kids, I imagine that they want

to be with their mother, but they want their mother to be healthy. Yeah. 100. I mean, even to this day, I would just, I would look past every fucking thing my mom ever did to me. If my mom took account, I mean, she, I think she does. I think she takes a lot of account, maybe not all of it, but like if she was just better right now and healthy, I would act like nothing ever happened. Lindsay, did you see that Kale got her blinds galore order and put them up? Did you see the picture? I did, and I think that it looks so good.

I cannot stress enough that my shutters in my house are one of my most favorite things. I think it just makes my house feel like finished and complete. And I think hers looks so good. They look so, so good. And I just want to say Black Friday and Cyber Monday are right around the corner. So you can get over to blindschooler.com today and order your free sample so that you're ready when these huge sales start next week. Blindschooler.com can help you give any room an incredible makeover with custom blinds,

motorized shades, shutters, and even drapery. Every type of window covering that you can imagine. One thing that I love about Blind Skullore is that it is a women-owned company run by a mother and daughter duo that's been doing this for over 25 years. I feel like they definitely know what they're doing. They definitely do. We love supporting women, so this is perfect. And they just don't wanna make it easy for you.

You can do it all right from home, no expensive interior designer necessary. Just take your measurements, customize online. You'll be able to see exactly how your blind or shade will look on screen before you buy, which is perfect. And you can also order up to 15 free samples to see your favorite fabrics up close and personal. And if you have any questions,

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When everything will be 50% off, visit BlindSkullOrd.com today and let them know that we sent you. That's BlindSkullOrd.com. We're going to do a little what would Kale do because I saw this in the Facebook group and I just need to know what to do. Why is it just what would Kale do? Why is it not what would you do also?

Because I wanna know what you would do first because I'm going to jail. So that's what I would do. I'm going to jail. So that's, that's what I would do. I'm going to jail. This person says I am the mom who never lets her children sleep out unless it's at their grandparents home. Very relatable. My son is now 11 and a half. And last night he went to a friend's house for the first time and the mom gave my son melatonin. She never reached out and asked how I felt about it. Didn't mention it during the drop off in the afternoon.

I only found out because we were in art festival today and my son said, I don't wanna be here. I'm still tired from the gummies of melatonin my friend's mom gave to me last night. I'm so furious. I don't even know how to address this issue without sounding like a crazy lady. Mamas, how would you handle this?

No, I'm going to jail. There's no if, answer, but you can't- I understand it's just melly. I understand it's just melly. I understand it's just melly. Yeah, but there is conflicting research on that right now. There is. You know, and if you choose to use it, that's fine. That's on you as a mom.

Like, I'm not judging you personally, but for me, for me, I'm not going to use it just because I don't know. Like, I don't know, I don't know enough. You're not giving my child melatonin. You're never giving it because there was before all the research and the studies that's coming out now, I had given it to one of my kids and they peed the bed and they never pee the bed.

They never pee the bed. And then I gave it to them and they peed the bed. Like things like that. Also, what if something would have happened to that child in their sleep? Yeah, and then she just gave melatonin without even asking, which I understand that a lot of people do mellytime. But that's at their own discretion.

They call it a sleepy gummy. That's for their own children, their own selves. You don't give something like that to someone else's child. That to me is just very like haphazard and reckless. I would never have another child over at my house and then just like be like, hey, here take this gumming

cause I'm ready for you to go to bed. No, I'm just gonna tell you all y'all's asses to just get your ass in the bed. Like we're not doing a collective melee time. I'm going to jail in a situation like this because I am fighting you. I have, like so like Lincoln's friends who I've talked about a hundred times,

that's Lux and Creed's cousin, I've had those kids stay at my house before and I would never in a million years because we're, everyone's already really weary about sleepovers, right? Like we're already, I would never want to break that trust with their parents by doing something like that. That's like getting time on LPM.

Like what the fuck? You have no business. If you don't want to deal with the kids that late at night and you don't do like a wind down, like I tell my kids, if you're gonna sleep in the playroom when they have a sleepover, we're gonna lay out the nugget couches, we're gonna do popcorn in a movie,

that's wind down time, the lights are off, whoever falls asleep is gonna fall asleep, whoever stays up is gonna stay up and they're gonna be quiet about it. That's just how it goes in my house. If I don't wanna deal with kids at bedtime, then just tell the people to come get them. Agreed.

Wait, what was the research that you saw about melatonin? It's just something about, I didn't really go in depth about it. Something about your brain, like if you stop taking melatonin, or your body gets used to that amount of melatonin, and so then when you stop taking it,

then you can't, like the melatonin that you're supposed to release on its own doesn't get real. I don't even know, to be honest. I don't want to speak on it. I'm gonna look up and see, because I saw a while back, I feel like it was like months and months ago,

there was research that was coming out and people were talking about it all over the internet, like moms on the internet. I feel like I saw like bloggers and stuff talking about it, saying they were pulling back on giving melatonin to their kids for that exact reason, but I don't know what their research said about it. I'm not a regular like

melee time giver. So didn't really affect me, but I'll look into it and see whatever I can find out. I'm going to jail in this situation. Go to jail. Okay. So next person says, I feel sick posting this to a bunch of strangers, but I have nobody else to talk to. I've been a stay at home mom for 15 years and married for 14, but just recently found out my husband has a girlfriend. First of all, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He has a hoe because you can't have a girlfriend and you'd be married. This is the second time that this has happened. First, being a few years ago, I'm totally blind sighted and hurt. I truly don't know what to do. I know divorce is the end goal, but what do I tell my kids? This all

feels too new. Just found out a week ago, he travels to work and it's pretty easy to not let them see anything going on, but they are 13 and 10 and I can't do this forever. They need to know, but when is the right time to tell them? When is it, is it when you have the details finalized? I feel so hollow. I don't want any family and friends to know yet because I'm so embarrassed. First of all, you shouldn't be embarrassed because it's not your fault. It shows what type of person he is.

So you shouldn't be embarrassed. Two, I don't know about telling kids about affairs. I don't know how that works because I've never experienced that. So I don't want to give bad advice on that. I think in situations like that, it is probably best to not go into the nitty critty on why things are happening just more so that they are happening. I can just say from

experience with mine and will situation I had kind of created the entire parenting plan, proposed it to him, told him to hire an attorney, had my attorney hired, was under contract on my house all before any of his family members knew and then we told Jackson together that we were getting a divorce. Just all of us, just us three and then it was a week or two weeks after that that Will shared with his family. Obviously my family found out on the internet. So I don't know what the best advice to give is, but I would say that do not do anything

when you're super emotionally charged because you don't wanna ever have to regret how you presented it to your children. And that was something that I was very specific on with Will. Like we don't need to have this conversation until you and I are in a more like business mind. Yeah. Like we needed to be in that business mind frame with each other.

Yeah. Also, my kids are 13, nine and six and they're just, they're asking now, like, did anyone cheat on anyone? Or like they're asking those. Like, did anyone cheat on anyone? Or like, they're asking those questions. So I do, I'm not saying don't tell them. I just, it probably varies by situation. And you also want to wait until they're a united front because over the course of my co-parenting journey

with Joe, Joby and Chris, my kids have all come to me at some point during the co-parenting process and said, my dad said this and one, completely not something that I remember ever happening or two, it's not united and it just doesn't look good. You know, like it's just not, I mean, even Lux today, he'll tell me, oh, so-and-so is not my dad's girlfriend.

Okay, how the fuck am I supposed to handle this? There's no united front. So I can't answer questions, right? Like, it doesn't make me look at sides, oh, you just have to ask your dad, like period. Same for Lincoln has asked me, like, did you ever cheat on my dad? Did my dad ever cheat on you? Same for Isaac, you know? So you have to have a United Front because you do not want to, all of us, collectively all four of us have made mistakes in answering questions that we were not united on and I'll take accountability for that on my end and I'm sure they would too like at this point in our co-parenting journey is like

You only you know what your kids can handle and only you know when you're not emotionally charged And when you guys will be ready to answer those things together I also think that it's already hard enough on children when you're going through a divorce or a separation type situation that they don't need to be involved in the nitty-gritty of all of the details that aren't super important. Their life is changing no matter what the details are, right? So don't throw that nice one parent in the process. Exactly.

And if you can be a United Front just because your marriage didn't work out or your relationship didn't work out, you still have children to raise with that other person. And just because you, you might hate them at this moment for whatever person they are, that's still the mother or the father of your kids. So you just have to remember that and it's hard whenever you're in it, but you just have to rise above that situation, rise above the hatred and just be like, you know what, motherfucker, I hate you, but I love my kid more than I hate you. And I know you do too. So we're just going to do this the right way.

Kristin, I cannot wait until five o'clock rolls around for me today because I ordered the partition and I am so excited to try it. Oh my God, you're going to have to tell me how that is because I have the Bartesian and I am so excited to try it. Oh my god, you're gonna have to tell me how that is because I have wanted one and I've been looking at them and looking at them, but I think I'm gonna take the plunge and finally purchase. For those of you who have not heard of the Bartesian, it is a sleek little machine. It's like the size of a coffee maker and it makes premium cocktails at the touch of a button. And now our listeners can get Bartesian's best Black Friday deal ever at bartesian.com slash

Convos. I've been looking for a gift to get a gift to my house. So, you know, I think that this would be perfect if you're looking for a unique gift idea for somebody on your list. Look into the artesian because this is like next level genius. I love that it basically just allows everyone to be an at-home mixologist and they have over 50 different cocktails. So from classic margaritas, martinis, old fashions to the most exotic premium cocktails served in the best bars today. And you're always going to get freshly mixed, perfectly balanced cocktails with the Bartesian cocktail maker.

And I just feel like this is one of the best inventions in life hacks ever. It's so easy. You just fill the Bartesian with your favorite spirit. So whether it's Jen Rum, Tequila, V, Whiskey, and then you insert the Bartesian capsule for the cocktail of your choice and you just press mix. So listen, making life easier and making good drinks is a yes for me. So now you can get Bartesian's best Black Friday deal ever.

It is available right now only at Bartesian.com slash combos. That's B-A-R-T-E-S-I-A-N.com slash combos for the Bartesian's best deal ever only at bartesian.com slash combos. Okay, I have one more thing that I want to talk to you about before we go. Actually, before we do foul play, before this really turns foul. Have you seen Jay Shetty on TikTok yet? No. Okay, I'm gonna need you before the next episode, just get into some Jay Shetty videos.

I think he has like some of the, he is so calmly spoken and in his delivery for everything, it just hits like in all the right places. He says, we think that we've achieved love when we've moved in. You think that you've, you have achieved love on your wedding day and you think that you've achieved love on your anniversary party celebration. You think you've achieved love and you forget any relationship is a daily practice. Love is a daily practice.

I find that we get so focused on our habits for success, our purpose, our growth, our mental health, they're all important things, but we forget this whole other pursuit with another person. And that's something that I've actually talked about in therapy, because Will and I in our marriage didn't work on our marriage as a daily practice. It was like we kind of like went through the motions of life, and we're just doing life together, but separately, if that makes sense. So like he was doing his thing, I was doing my thing. And then we were, we were jointly coming together as parents of Jackson,

but it didn't feel like anything more than that. Like we weren't working on a relationship. We never took a couple of strips. We never went on dates. We never did any of that. Like we weren't working on a relationship. We never took couple strips. We never went on dates. We never did any of that. But then we would celebrate big things like our anniversary. We made it to a next year. And it's like, why were we celebrating an anniversary when we didn't celebrate or dedicate time to our relationship throughout the year to be able to get to that celebration point?

I will say that I think sometimes with parenthood comes periods of that where you're kind of just going through the motions of life and kind of doing those daily things and you do forget about your relationship. But I think in order to really be successful in a relationship, you do have to be intentional and do those daily or weekly things. It was not Jay Shetty that I saw do a video on this, but literally carving out the time and talking about more than just like, how was your day? You know, you have to be intentional

and you have to set the time aside and it takes work. Like kind of like how we describe therapy and using one, showing up being transparent and taking accountability in therapy, but also taking the tools that you learn from therapy and putting them into play. It's just like that in a relationship too. And that goes for friendships too, not just because sometimes you just go through the motions of your friendships, oh, we'll do this and then you're not really checking in with the person or whatever. But for, and I'm guilty of that too, I think that that was a huge part of the downfall of my marriage.

Now looking back, I mean, there was a slew of other reasons, but we never were like intentional about anything. It was just parenthood and public eye, that was it. And I do think that because of therapy and because of the failure from the past and how I didn't do this, I've been so methodical in my current relationship that I didn't wanna get caught up on the daily texting back and forth of like meaningless conversation.

Right. And, you know, actually dedicating the time together going on a date and spending intentional time and having intentional conversations versus, oh, we're just like, how was your day? And yeah, my day sucked. My day sucked too. You know, it's like-

I'm more tired than you. Yeah, it's those conversations to me. I did all of that in my marriage and it felt so robotic. And there was no meaning behind any of that other than just daily, habitual, committed small talk to get through the next day. And that really put things in perspective for me when he said that it's a daily pursuit. Like you have to, being in a relationship

or being in a marriage is a job. I think this also applies to our kids too though, right? Correct. Like, you know, we can get caught up in the schedules and, you know, planning things around work and planning things around school and planning things around all these things that we're not actually checking in with our kids. You know? 100%.

So I think this, I mean, that makes, I would love to see the video and like I need to follow up more on him because I'm not, I'm like, I've heard the name, but I don't really know much about Jay Shetty. Like I don't know much about, so I need to, I need to look into him and some of the things that he's talking about because that sounds very relevant and maybe an eye opener that I could use for my own self, my own relationships. I love whenever we just, I wouldn't say wisdom, but whenever we bring the wisdom, we bring other people's wisdom.

And on that note, we're gonna get into some foul play. Okay. Hey ladies, it's a nice fall day here. Dogs were on their outdoor beds enjoying the breeze. I decided it was a good time to take some private me time. Just in case I pulled up my outdoor camera on my phone so I can keep an eye on the dogs, I just set it on the bedside table, no biggie.

Well, after my hour long me session, and I mean abs throbbing, legs shaking, orgasms left and right, have to watch my bed sheets for the second time today, me session, I get up, clean up, and hobble in to let the dogs in. Only to realize I had my sound on to play from my phone through my outdoor camera. I use this feature to call the dogs to come in so I don't have to go out and yell

since my backyard is big. You know what's coming. Both neighbors just got to hear how great my hour long me time was and I wasn't holding back. Guess I'm moving now. Anyone know a good realtor? anyone know a good realtor? Oh, okay. So my question is, is when we're talking about me time, was this like her in a vibrator, or was this like her in another person? Whatever that looks like, herself or toys, whatever. I would be fucking mortified. Wait, but have you ever done that for an hour?

No, it takes me three seconds and then I'm done. An hour seems like a very Period of time. I don't know that's normal. I'm sure it's healthy, but I don't know like I'm doing something wrong because You just keep going it's like the energizer bunny Can you imagine just having that sound on and in your neighbors tuning in? No. No. Thank God I don't have neighbors, but they're not super close.

They wouldn't be able to hear, but oh my God. You know how we talk about not being wires? What life would you come up with to get around this? Some other person was having an orgasm in your house and it wasn't you like or you just move. I would move. I would literally move. I just don't like, were the neighbors outside? Were they up at like? I want to know how how close they were that they could hear like either she was really

loud and like really into this meantime that they could hear it like either she was really loud and like really into this meantime, that they could hear it far away or they live extremely. Yeah, like it could be like a town home situation or just like, you know, there's houses that are just really close, you know, so. Isn't that another weird thing? Like with dogs and shit, it's like, okay, you don't want them in the bedroom

whenever you're doing something, but then also like, it's basically like children, you still have to watch them like, could you just imagine how like, it's just me time and I'm just here with my vibrator for a fucking hour. No, fucking around. And I'm watching my dogs on a cam. Like, how are you getting off? No, I'm so worried about like like what's going on with the dogs, especially hopefully she has a fence. Because then I would, oh my God, no, I can't.

I can't, okay. Next foul play. My great grandmother was put in a hospice. This evening she passed and we were all at my grandma's house to be together. I'm so sad that this is a foul play. This is sad. At one point we were all in the living room and sitting around. It was very quiet. My sister was

sitting next to me 14 years old. She sees me open my text thread to a text, my to text my husband and tell him the plans. No big deal. However, what I didn't consider is what she would read his nickname on my phone. She doesn't miss a beat and literally says out loud in front of everyone who is booty grabbing kitty. It ended there. Thankfully my stepmom immediately was like, Oh my God, stop reading her phone. Never forget the look my father gave me. Everyone heard everything mortified. That's it. This is what I like to call a privacy screen. You should get one if you have children. I say that I don't have one. But if they look, if you have a Lincoln or a Lux or an Isaac that is reading over your shoulder with a privacy screen, they won't be able to. Obviously, if it's like blatantly on the table

and they like look over it, they can see it, but it will prevent people from seeing most of your stuff and definitely your conversations. Do you have a privacy screen? I do. You know what? It's so mortifying whenever you're sitting next to somebody. I mean, if you are the type of person that does not really give a shit about anything, which is me, then you can see whatever is on my phone. Like I probably have absolutely nothing to hide. I don't have anything to hide, but also don't read my fucking texts. Yeah, because- My kids don't read my texts.

Like just mind your business. Was this text to you, because last time I checked, it seems like your nose was in my phone and not in yours. So unless you want my nose in your phone, like get yours out of mine. Period. Booty grabbing kitty.

Booty grabbing kitty. I cannot. Okay. Well, you know what I'm going to do for the rest of the day? What? I am going to take a shower. I am a hot girl shower. Okay.

I am going to get caught up on Virgin River. Perfect. And going to be a couch potato. Um, have fresh blankets that are probably waiting on me and the dryer. So love that for me. And if you guys have not followed us on at coffee compost podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us there. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app wherever

you get your podcasts, always first at podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.