Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Premarital Counseling For All

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

CC309: Kail is alive to give us updates on her lead poisoning scare that rocked her whole week. Lindsie has some unfortunate news to share regarding a friend and co-host from The Southern Tea podcast, and additionally speaks on the sudden passing of Nic Kerdiles.Kail shares a DM from a highschool teacher regarding last episode's topic of a texas school switching to a 4-day school week. And speaking of school, Lindsie is completely over the many fake sick calls from Jackson. Kail and Lindsie also speak on the subject of their exes posting photos of their kid with their new partner. Kail gets emotional about her experience and the changing dynamic with her kids and her exes' new families. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Apartments: Visit Apartments.com, a place to find a placeBlindsgalore: Visit Blindsgalore.com today and get 50% off your entire order during their Birthday Sale and be sure to sign up for their weekly giveaways in October.DoorDash: Get 50% off and zero delivery fees on your first order, when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter code COFFEECONVOSFactor: Use code coffeeconvos50 at FactorMeals.com/coffeeconvos50 to get 50% off!Rocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. I can't open my eyes because this is how tired I am. This is not. Kail lives. I'm not on drugs. I'm just so tired. If anyone has picked up Kail lives in a state of tiredness, um, good morning, Coffee Convuse podcast. I have on eye patches. Um, this, this hair, this is what happens when you go to bed and you don't dry your hair And you live in a curly girl era. This is me

I just pop this little Alani say it all the time anyone who says breezeberry isn't the best flavor of Alani. You're a liar I Should have brought one because I went I drove right by Starbucks today. Oh, and you didn't stop? I've been spending entirely too much money on fast food, like fast food, coffee, all of it. I even told my kids, I was like, I'm not stopping for fast, don't ask me to stop for fast food anymore unless I don't have all of you with me.

Um, I am speaking of that. I'm going to talk to you about that, but I'm going to stop at Starbucks on the way to my appointment, probably with these eye patches on it, we're being perfectly honest. Um, and try one of the recommendations that people put on the Facebook page from Starbucks. So I hope I don't try a disgusting one. Also the fast food thing will never goes to fast food, like ever he cooks at home,

every single night he cooks every meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner, all at home. I love that. I love that for him. I know that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. However, I feel like I have an appointment outside of the house, then I have something that I have to do inside the house. Then somebody comes here and there's an appointment.

Then I have to go and pick up from school. Then I have all these other things going on. I don't have time to cook every single meal at home. And I've been crying all morning since 6.30. I had gone over to Will's to retrieve Jackson's iPad and his phone, because Will and I kind of had a little dispute. He wasn't letting Jackson bring his switch to my house.

Okay. So I think it was because his parents bought it or something. So who cares? It's not Will's, it's Jackson's, who cares? So that was a big ordeal that we had been going through for the past week. And so I said, well, I guess I'll come and get the iPad and the phone,

and then he'll just have to use your phone to call me from the house. So again, you're gonna be inconvenient when he wants to call me like 16 times, ended up taking the iPad back over there cause Jackson called and he was like, it's not fair. It's a punishment to me because I didn't do anything and I shouldn't be punished from my iPad because dad won't let me bring my switch over there and I'm like, you know what, you're right. So I'm going to go to dinner. I'll bring you your iPad. I get over there and Jackson's like, yeah, mom needs to pick up the dog on Wednesday.

And I'm going to have my iPad mom tell him about my iPad and like how I should be able to have my iPad. And it was just like this whole ordeal. I felt for a brief moment that I was married again and realized why I wasn't doing that anymore Leave come home Miss a call from Jackson at 6 38 this morning call back. He said in there eating breakfast will has him eggs cooked A piece of bacon and like three little of those like little mini bite muffins Jackson was like, I want breakfast that I have at mom's. And he's like, well, good, you're going to get the breakfast that you have at

mom's on Wednesday, you're not going to get that breakfast here. Right. And, you know what, I have lots of respect for Will for like waking up, fixing eggs, fixing bacon, doing the whole thing. But Jackson is one of those children that likes something a little sweet for breakfast. So I always try to associate like, or incorporate like fruit, some type of like fruit, little medley, banana, yogurt, and then I'll give him something sweet. So like a cinnamon roll or something. And he's like, I want a cinnamon roll. And Will's like, well, I don't know what that is. He's like, I know what a

cinnamon roll is. I don't know what a cinnamon roll is. And first of all, adults can't even say cinnamon. So Will needs to chill. Chill out. And so he was crying about the cinnamon roll. And Will was going over and like putting like, pools of egg on his fork, and he was like, eat it, eat it. This is not how I thought my day was gonna start. Going just going back to the whole like, iPad phone thing. I understand the parents who like, have who do all of the financial things like they buy the phone, the iPad, they buy the switch, they buy all the nice clothes, they buy all

the nice shoes. They don't want that stuff going to an irresponsible parent who is either a going to lose it, not return it, things like that. But at some point, you would hope that both parents can be equally responsible no matter who pays for it, right? Like, I don't, like, I bought, I have Lincoln on my phone plan. I pay for that. I bought his first and second phone when the first one broke. I went half with Hobby on the third one, I think.

And they were all broken by accident. Like, it was just like, unfortunate mishap. But like, I can't imagine just being like, no, you're not taking your phone to your dad's. Or like even Lux, like if Lux asked me, can he bring his Batman costume to his dad's? I'm like, I do not care. If that's gonna make you happy, I do not care. You know what I mean?

And it just sucks because like I know that in the past it's been that way where like, I didn't wanna send certain things over there because the kids aren't with Chris as much. And I don't know when I'm going to get them back and what condition they're going to come in. But like at this point, it's just like, it's not my stuff. It's my kids stuff. And I can only, I don't know, the whole like... It's so annoying because we've never had this issue before. It's been very recent that this issue has come up and I don't know, don't want to blame

any person for why this issue might be taking place, but we've just never had it before. I was so specific about when we divorced that we were going to have a go between backpack, like all your stuff goes back, all my stuff comes back. P wear something dirty over there that belongs to me. Please just wash it, put it back in the bag. I'll extend the same courtesy. We always do that. Anything that he has like phone, tablet, switch,

all go in that bag and we're responsible for dropping off when he goes to other parents' house. Never been an issue. So I don't know where the issue is coming from, but evidently it's an issue. So I did go and return the iPad and I was like, you know what, it is Jackson's stuff. Problem is, is that the phone calls were not happening the way that the phone call should be happening or I wasn't having contact. So what's the point of having an iPad over there or a phone over there?

If it's being used like the whole intention of the phone was so that he could have communication with whoever he wanted to have communication with whenever he wanted to have communication and not have to ask either me or Will to be able to initiate that communication. So right. No, that all makes sense to me. Even even in the beginning when you aren't sure how it's gonna go, like in between backpack sounds like a good idea. We're still rolling with that thing. Yeah, I mean if it works, it works. I just I don't even... Chris doesn't tell me when he wants stuff sent back. Lux does, which is kind of frustrating because I'm like stop putting that on a six-year-old. But yeah,

he'll be like, my dad wants these shoes back. It's just like, I have you for 99% of the school year. So I don't know, like what is your, I'm not gonna, if your dad buys you, bringing Jordans, I'm not gonna send you out in the rain with them. Like I don't know what he thinks is gonna happen, but like I don't want that being done to my stuff. So I'm not like that I buy for my kids, all of them. I'm not gonna do that to your stuff either.

I don't care how much I don't like you. You're like, it's not your Jordan's. Like, it's his Jordan's. And you can't even take me seriously right now. I'm literally. I look great. I mean, oh, and I want to update you and everyone else. I already told the kitty gang group chat because you know, they're the writers, not that everyone else isn't, but you get what I'm saying. So the lead lead update is that and I typed it all out so I could explain so everything came back normal for the blood draw so we got the two results for me and Lux in the middle of the night and then for some reason the rest of my kids including Isaac and Lincoln and Creed were not attached to my

account so I only saw mine in Lex's next day, talked to the doctor, the pediatrician, and she says, and I quote, "'Sometimes our machine is a little wonky." And I know it's not her fault because she's just a provider there. She doesn't make the rules. She doesn't make, I get it's not her fault.

So I'm not blaming the provider. But when I tell you I wanted to throw my phone across the room, because she did tell me not to panic the first day, but like you're telling a mom who's never dealt with lead exposure ever in my life with any of my kids not to panic, right? I'm crying. She's like, don't cry. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay. Like we're gonna figure it out call the division of Public Health Specifically the lead prevention lead poisoning prevention division called me right? She's like you need to immediately take the rest of your kids you need to call, you know

So-and-so's dad make sure their their child gets tested one Why does the division of public health not know that that machine is quote a little wonky or it doesn't give accurate readings? Because if she knew that she's not going to suggest that I take an entire family to go get blood drawn. I feel like if she knew that she could suggest hey, maybe take the one that got the high lead exposure results, take him only. And then if that comes back high, we'll take everybody else. But that was not what was told to me. What was told to me was immediately take everyone and call Chris and tell him to take his other

son, which is not fair to Chris. That's not fair. All of my kids first time getting their blood drawn. This was not how I wanted to do it. And I'm sure Chris felt the same. So I'm sure there was a level of frustration on his end with me, but like, I'm doing what I'm told to do, you know? And so I was a little frustrated by that.

And I just feel like further, if you know, and not just that provider, but across the board in that office, you know that that machine gives not accurate readings, why are you giving that as an option at all? That was gonna be my question. If you already know that there is a large margin of error accurate readings, why are you getting that as an option at all? That was going to be my question. If you already know that there is a large margin of error with that machine, why is

that machine being used at all? Because to me, that would be indicating that you may or may not get an accurate reading. At that point, why are we even doing the test? Because exactly, and then people were saying, saying well if you clean the finger and then you stick it and they touch it. No because they literally cleaned his finger and immediately stuck him so he had no time to touch anything else. He had no time to do anything you know what I mean and they were it's just stop using that machine stop don't use it. I do not envy moms with multiple kids in situations like that. Um, and I will also say that as a mother, if you go to the doctor and you're told something that just does not sit right with you about one of your kids, you're going to go and jump

through whatever hoops you have to jump through to get to the bottom for the answers that you're actually Looking for so I'm sure that that's probably where you kind of were you've got these results from the lead test And you immediately wanted to make sure none of your kids were your other kids were in jeopardy and also Find out what was causing the extreme blood exposure Which is what it seemed like that that there was extreme blood exposure. When he did the blood test, did it come back completely normal ranges? Because if I'm not, correct me if I'm wrong,

but didn't you say that his came back at like a 12 or something? Yeah, and 14 is where you get hospitalized. But his came back, I just emailed it to his school because I told, went in and I'm like, by the way, his stuff came back, I just emailed it to his school because I told what and then I'm like, by the way, his stuff came back normal. His range was yeah, it was completely normal range. That's just insane because that is completely opposite of the results that you got from

the pediatrician's office, which to again is like, well, and then I went on the Facebook, like coffee combos, Facebook page, so many people were saying that the same thing happened to them. And I'm like, why are we still using this lab test in the doctor's office then this goes across the board for multiple pediatricians, not just mine. And further one, I did see one comment where they were like ours doesn't do the in office ones anymore for this reason. So then what do they do? They automatically just go right for a blood draw.

That's what I was going to say. A capillary. If the test is so inaccurate, why wouldn't you just be referred out to go and do the blood draw from the jump? Right? Yeah. That's what you would think. I don't know. So it was just, it was frustrating as a mom, also just like as a person, because I also

had my blood drawn because I'm like, if it is coming from my house and you know, then I'm gotten kind of snippy with Elijah because I'm like, your house was built before 19, you know, before 19, 70. Oh God. Yeah. And he's like, I'm on the same soil. Blaming Elijah for the lead. your house was built before, you know, before 1977. Oh God. Yeah. And he's like, Blaming Elijah for the lead. Cause I'm like, we're on the same soil and your house was built before 1977. And I need to see the lab work

cause he had to have the lead exposure test when he bought that. So I was like, let me see it. I need to see the paper, like, not that. And he was just like, okay. Like, I didn't even know until you started talking about this that lead exposure was like some type of test

that happens at the pediatrician office. If Jackson's ever had it, they've just never told me that that's what they were checking for. Yeah. When the woman from the division of public health called me, she pulled up all the rest of my kids results from years ago and gave me the exact where I was living. Yes. Yes. She pulled up Isaac Lincoln and

Lux results the year and our address. And I was like, I had no idea that was even occurring. I don't know if it happens when they're a baby. I don't know if it happens at their first appointment. I don't know. Are you missing the syrup for your pancakes or are you just running out of your favorite creamer? That actually just happened to me. I was so disappointed. But with DoorDash grocery delivery, you can get whatever you want right when you need it.

And I'm just lucky that they come to my house because it's kind of far out, but they do. And I love it. And I use it way more often than I should. Listen, DoorDash just came to my area probably within the last year. And when I found out about this, I have never been happier because you can just get delivery from your favorite restaurants and also get delivery for groceries. They have thousands of grocery stores you can choose from.

You'll find the best in your neighborhood and you can boost your local economy with every order. And that's something that I love about it. Yes. So you've trusted your DoorDash, like Lindsay said, with your favorite restaurants. Now you can do it with your favorite groceries. Get 50% off your first DoorDash order up to $20 value. When you use code copy combos at checkout, limited time offer terms apply. That's 50% off up to $20, no minimum subtotal, and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app in the App Store and enter Code Coffee Combos. Don't forget that's Code Coffee Combos for 50% off your first order with DoorDash. Okay, I do have to ask you, would you rather go to a OBGYN appointment or the dentist the dentist, okay?

Would you rather go and get a physical or go to your OB a physical so OB is like your last place you want to go Going to the OB like I love her a pap smear like it doesn't bother me at all I feel like I'm finding out information So I feel like I'm safe I Love seeing all the pregnant women like in the waiting room like makes me happy Mm-hmm. The staff there is always so nice

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love my I love the staff at mine, too But I'm not gonna choose that out of I don't want to spread my legs if I don't have to. Kill. Do you know what, Hannah Worms, that you just opened? I'm not gonna spread my legs if I don't have to. I don't want some stranger poking and prodding in between my legs if I do not have to. The only person that's ever given me a pap, it literally was friends with my parents for like my whole life. She's the only person that's ever given me one. I just don't like, I don't know if I would be comfortable with someone I know doing it.

Because then I just feel like you're gonna go tell somebody about like, I don't know what you saw. You know, like if you, if I have absolutely no relation to you whatsoever, I would feel better. I Feel I feel more comfortable because she knows me like on a Personal level. She's the only person's ever given me a pap the only person that's ever done like a OB-GYN like type physical She did all of my ultrasounds. She delivered Jackson like what's gonna gonna happen whenever she's not doing this anymore? That's the question that I've asked myself. Like I'm gonna be in a whole new ball game.

You're gonna have a frenzy, it's gonna be a whole frenzy trying to figure out who your next OB is, or your next GYN. Speaking of though, like finding out information, I started going to her like when I started my period. Okay. And Julie took me to that doctor's appointment and they recommended that I go on birth control to like regulate my cycle. I think it's pretty common whenever you first start a period for most girls that you're

not getting it regularly. And so they... But let me stop you right there because if you just have one period, I don't think it's fair to suggest birth control with only getting one period because you don't know if I'm going to be regular and you're not giving it a chance to be regular. Well, I've seen a bunch of TikToks on this topic over the past couple of months about the over prescribing of birth control and why it's so detrimental to a woman's health. And this one TikTok I saw said that if you were on birth control, the likelihood of you

picking one type of partner over another is really high because it changes your chemistry. Specifically birth control. Yeah, specifically birth control. I'll have to pull up all these videos that I've seen and bring them to our next recording because it was so interesting to me. Back to what I was saying, go to the doctor, Julie takes me to this doctor's appointment and the doctor says we're going to put her on like a low dose of birth control to just get her cycle regular. And if she's not sexually active, she can come off of the birth control. So I come out, but then time out. If you come off of it,

won't it be irregular? I don't know. I don't know the science behind it. We don't know. Okay, continue. I don't know. So go it. See, that's a problem that we don't know. Okay, continue. I digress. Like we don't know. So go to the pharmacy, she gets the birth control, I go home, and of course my dad's asking all of these questions about how the appointment was, you know, like all the things. And Julie lets him know that they put me on a low dose of birth control.

Never seen that man more erratic. Because he probably was like, what does that mean? Does that mean you're going to have sex that you wanna have sex? Are you already having sex? Yeah. Okay. I mean, rightfully so.

He went nuts. And then he went nuts on her because he was like, how do you make a decision like that, you know, like without consulting me on this, like this is my daughter, like you don't get to just like take her to a doctor's appointment and make these types of decisions without consulting me on something like this. And I'm like, but you allowed her to take me to the appointment. Yeah, like she took me to the appointment. She always did all of my doctor's appointments. And that's where the relationship kind of was a little sticky

because that would have never happened if it was a decision that was being made for Savannah. But if it was a decision being made for me, then it was like, okay, well, you can do this part of it, but I'm going to have the final say on this part of it. So it just made that whole relationship like a little bit sticky. So he was not keen on me being on birth control. And to be perfectly honest, I put that shit in my closet and like some days I remember to take it and some days I didn't remember to take it. And I wasn't sexually active. So didn't really matter, but kind of defeated the purpose of taking it because I wasn't responsible enough to take it at that time. I didn't really

know the importance of or wasn't told the importance of taking you know make sure you take this every single day. And generally at the same time. So he was not keen on me being on the birth control. So fast forward I think I've talked about it before. I was a virgin until I was 19 years old. Will was my first partner. When my dad realized that I was a virgin until I was 19 years old. Will was my first partner. Um, when my dad realized that I was likely sexually active, he started texting my doctor because they were personal friends asking if I was and she was like, Hippotide. Like I, I cannot tell you anything. Especially because you're an adult now at that point. Yeah.

Like I cannot tell you anything. And I don't want like our friendship to get weird over this, but all you need to know is like she's good. That's all I can say. Like she is good. She is safe. She is fine. But I cannot tell you if she's been having sex with Will.

Like I cannot give you that information. And I think it's so weird whenever you have parents. It might not be common, but when you have parents that might not be common, but when you have parents that want to know absolutely every single thing about your life and then you have a medical provider that is personal friends with them and you're going to them and then they have that type of access, it just felt all so weird. And I can remember in college, I was so afraid that my dad was like texting and trying to

get this information. And I didn't know my dad was like texting and trying to get this information. And I didn't know if she was like giving him this information, not giving him this information. So in my mind, I was like, if I just don't have sex for three days, like they'll never know. So like leading up to my appointment, I just wouldn't have sex for like three days. And I'm like, Oh, well, it like won't be stretched out down there. So like nobody will know. Right. That's exactly how it works. Um, for sure. Yeah.

So it reminds me actually of like, do you remember years ago, we, we might have covered it on here years ago when T.I. the rapper wanted his teenage daughter to be checked to see if she was still a virgin. Oh, didn't we talk about this? Yeah. Like years ago, it just reminds me of that. Like you don't get to You're not a woman. So yes, you're my parent and yes, you have my best interest at heart But one you're not a woman and two like you don't get to have access to that information just because you're my parent

1000 also, I just want to make a point that maybe at the time when we were younger maybe doctors did not know what they know now about birth control. And Kristen raised a good point. She texted right here in the chat and she said that, like, the birth control at young ages

was masking hormonal issues like PCOS. They prescribed birth control to a lot of patients with PCOS to mask the symptoms or put a bandaid over the symptoms and the issues. And I'm sure that's the case for a lot of hormonal, you know, disruptions. Um, maybe, maybe they were doing it. Just, I don't know. Like sometimes I'm like, is this like a sales thing?

Like they're trying to sell the birth control. Well, everything's a business, right? So, right. So did they know, did they not know? trying to sell the birth control? Well, everything's a business, right? So... Right. So did they know? Did they not know? Was it more of like, did they get kickbacks from pushing certain types

of birth controls? I don't know. So I just wonder, I mean, even now I think doctors are still prescribing birth control left and right. I've thought about often, if I had a daughter, what I would do and what I would recommend in regards to birth control,

because I don't take it myself. Like you, when I first got on birth control at 14 years old, for my acne, again, I was not responsible enough to take it. I was taking it, not taking it, forgetting about it, not, you know what I mean? Like it just like wasn't something that I was like religious about. I just didn't, I wasn't on a schedule or whatever, ended up pregnant more than once. And, you know, it's just, we're not responsible enough at that age. And also we don't know what the fuck

we're putting in our bodies. 1000%. And when I was in college, I had girlfriends that were like in my sorority that would skip the sugar pills and go right into another pack to be able to skip periods. And to me, that is so unhealthy.

Like there's a reason that you're supposed to get your period every single month. There's a reason for that. So I don't know who came up with that idea or who let people know about that and thought that it was healthy. But I had one girlfriend who literally never had a period our entire college career. The only time I haven't had a period was on my IED, which again, probably not healthy, because I had that for almost five years. It was like four years when I was pregnant.

Like, you're supposed to have a period. That's part of being a woman, unfortunately. Apartments.com has helped millions of renters find their perfect places, and the beauty is they're all different. None of us are the same so why should our homes be? Someone may want hardwood floors, someone else may say carpet all the way, questionable call, but hey to each their own. Some may want a doorman, others may say I can open the door myself, but Apartments.com has all the right tools to help you find the place that's uniquely perfect for you. Sort through and filter listings by amenities and make sure you never miss out with their instant alert option. With more than one million available units for rent, you're

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She was a good producer. There's no doubt about that. But would she produce murder is the question. Season two of Bad Bad Thing, The Blackstone Sisters, available October 4th, wherever you get your podcasts. I have a little, actually two very sad updates. I don't know if you remember, I think you still follow her. My friend Katie, she co-hosted with me on the Southern Tea. Yeah, I follow her on Instagram. She had, from what I understand, she was laying in the bed on Monday night and fell a lump in her breast. So she makes a stochastic appointment, goes to her regular OB-GYN, and they refer her

out for a mammogram ultrasound. And the doctor basically tells her, hey, we can't confirm that this is cancerous. We can't say either way. It is or it isn't. However, it doesn't look good and we're gonna send you for a biopsy. This is what bothers me so bad about medical. And I understand they are so overworked and their schedules are so crazy. But when you have someone that has something

going on with them and it is confirmed that it could possibly be cancerous and then you tell them they have to wait two Mondays, so two weeks before they can go and get a biopsy, like what are they supposed to do during that time of two weeks when they can go and get a biopsy, like what are they supposed to do during that time of two weeks when they're sitting there thinking, okay, I likely have cancer. I have two little babies. My husband is distraught and we're just supposed to sit around for two weeks and wait for me to go and find out. And then it's going to take time for the results to come back in.

We all know how that goes, right? So she tells me that she's going to have to wait two weeks. Then her doctor's office calls her and lets her know, hey, there was a cancellation for an appointment so we can go ahead and see you. So she goes in, does the biopsy and got the results back yesterday that she does have cancer. Oh, wow. And it's been all over the Southern T Facebook page. And a lot of people that listen to this podcast as well have sent me messages just asking for updates.

She's not going to know much more until she does the hormone receptors test to find out what's actually feeding the cancer. So I don't believe that they have staged it yet and they just know for sure that it is cancer. And she had scheduled a trip, I think to like a rube or something like that with her husband. It was supposed to be just like a couple of trips. And she decided to go on it after she had this biopsy because she said, what am I supposed

to do? Just like sit at home and wait, like at least if I go somewhere else and I'm in a happy place, I can think about other things. And I guess her thought process was if it is cancer, then at least Cam and I can be by ourselves and process it a little bit before we go back home to the kids. And so she told me, she said, I cannot stress enough for anybody to do breast checks on yourself every single month because she just randomly found it. Well, what's so scary is because she's so young, you know, and a lot of times I know firsthand, I don't know if

Kristen will let me talk about it, but I know two people who have found lumps and are being refused mammograms simply because of their age. Age. Yeah. Two people in my life, like my direct life that I speak to on a weekly or daily basis. Kristen said she doesn't care. Kristen is one of them, found a lump and was refused a mammogram based on her age, which is absolutely absurd to me. I do not care because one, there's people who will find them randomly. And then two, there's people who have a family history of it. So they

should be getting a mammogram earlier than whatever the recommended age is. So I'm so glad. It's because of insurance. I don't give a fuck if it's insurance or not. There has to be some sort of something because the other person I'm referring to has a long family history of breast cancer. And for Kristen, maybe she doesn't, but if she found a lump, she should absolutely have it biopsy whether they're concerned or not just for the simple fact that you just don't

know. She said, I do, you do what Kristen? Have a family history. Oh, she does have a family history. So that's also part of it is like, what the fuck is going on? But I'm so glad that her doctors were actually on her side, Katie's side, because if this would have went on any longer, she didn't notice it, you know, what would have happened. So do you know if they removed more for the biopsy to completely remove it or will they have to go back in and, you know, with the rest? I believe it was just like a

general biopsy to see exactly what it was. So I'm sure they will have to go back in and do other things. But until she has this further testing, they won't know what's feeding the cancer. They won't know what stage the cancer is. So just keep her in your prayers and manifest good thoughts if you are a manifestor. side of that, my next sad update is my sister's ex-fiance, Nick, was in a fatal motorcycle accident over the weekend. And I just wanted to take a quick second to extend my deepest condolences to his family and the ones who loved him.

It's incredibly heartbreaking situation and I truly hope that his family finds strength and comfort and peace in the coming days. And I also hope that the media circus ends quickly so that the family can focus on grieving and begin healing together without the outside noise. A lot of times when you're going through something, that noise can feel and sound so loud

during tragic events. And I had kind of made a decision that I wasn't going to speak on it at all. And got a lot of nasty comments when I had posted my birthday photos yesterday. The comments were horrific about people saying that I shouldn't be posting happy photos when something so sad things going on on my birthday that I chose not to share these photos and had kind of taken a little social media hiatus. And I was trying to catch up on life yesterday, trans out of town.

Normally we would be together on Mondays and Tuesdays, but he's been out of town. So I used a lot of that time to catch up on like things that I was trying to watch so that I could cover them, catch up on social media, like links and stuff that people were asking for and people I had said last week that I was going to share my birthday photos and I'd gotten a lot of messages of people saying, are you ever going to share them? So I shared them last night. And in this comment section, it was people saying, this is what's going on and it's not appropriate to be posting happy photos and I just want to talk about that a

little bit because I think in the world of social media people live and think that I'm living by my social media feed and that's the only thing that's going on in my life and I'm sure you have felt that way before. There's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that no one knows about. And when this news broke, there were lots of rumblings about how it was inappropriate for the media to be referring to Nick as Savannah's ex. And there's been a hashtag that I don't know

if his friends started it or his family started it, whoever started it, but his name is Nick. And as I was scrolling on social media over the weekend, actually on Sunday, I saw where E! News had posted something and referred to Nick as Chris Lee knows best and Savannah's ex. So as I'm scrolling through the comments, I see where one of his sisters posted on the comments and said, shame on you, E news, shame on you for making this horrible event about

the Chris Lee family and her. Nick was a wonderful person and an amazing uncle and a professional hockey player before even meeting that family. Shame on you. And so I had just made a decision that I wasn't going to say anything publicly at all about it because I felt like it was the base off of what the sister said on there that she didn't want any association to be tied back to the family and they are grieving

people. I also shared something that said something along the same lines just so you're aware in case you didn't see it. It was not a shot at you guys. It was not a shot at Savannah. It was not a shot at anyone. It was just more so like he was a person and a professional and an athlete outside of Savannah. And so I did share that because I know if it was one of my children or you know my loved one, don't fucking put teen mom or MTV or you know something like that in the headlines because that's not who we are. That's not, that was a part of who we are, but that's not at the end of the day who we were. And so for me, it was really upset.

I don't know Nick, I've never met Nick. I didn't, you know, I don't know Savannah either, but it was never a shot at you guys. I just want you to know that. Like I did share that, but it was just more so me recognizing that Nick was a person outside of, you know, being on the Chris Lee show. Well, he had a life long before that.

And while that was very relevant all the way up until current in his life, he was way more than just cast on Chris Lino's best and just a fiance of a reality TV personality, you know. And so I 100% see where his family is coming from and understand why they would feel that way and understand why it seems like he's being overshadowed in that way. And that, that is on the media. And I agree. You know, I said what I said about my sister and her parents on Nick Baill's podcast, but what I am going to say, I'm going to defend her here and that she doesn't have anything to

do with the way that the media is writing. Agreed. You know, and so if they are referring to him as Savannah's ex-fiancé. That's not her doing. That's not her doing. She had absolutely nothing to do with that. And she is also grieving whether they were together now or whether they weren't at one point, they were engaged, planning to get married,

wanted to have children and still had such a great love and care for this person. And so she's also grieving, but it would be, it would almost come across based off of the events that have taken place with myself and my sister for me to post something because it would feel insincere. And I don't think that we should be living for what we're posting on social media.

We should be living for what we're doing and our lives personally outside of what the public knows. I agree with that. I do agree with you there. I actually got a hate message for sharing what I shared. Oh, you did? Yeah.

I can't, I'm not going to look it up now, but she basically told me, shut my fucking mouth. And if that's how he's known and remembered, then I have no business speaking on it. But it's just, the media really, I don't care who you are. You deserve to be recognized for who you are, not who you knew or who you were with or who you were. You know, I didn't respond to the message.

I just let them because I knew he was an athlete also, you know, so I didn't know anything about his family or anything, but I knew he was an athlete prior to, you know, being with Savannah. So I knew that he was known for things other than your family. So I just didn't need to step on toes. Our BlindSkullLawr.com is turning 25 years old and you can celebrate with them all month long. Take 50% off your entire order during their birthday sale

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Listen, I was just on Instagram and saw one of my girlfriends got on the factor train and absolutely loves it. So I am going to actually place an order when we get finished recording. Factor is America's number one ready to eat meal kit and it will help you fuel up with fast chef prepared dietitian approved ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door. We know that I love saving time and I love eating well and that's why I order from factor. And if you're just too busy to cook, you don't wanna go to the grocery store, you don't like chopping, you don't like prepping,

you don't like cleaning up, but you like a good meal, Factor is there for you, they're fresh, never frozen meals, ready to eat in just two minutes. All you have to do is just heat and enjoy. I love these because I never know what my schedule looks like on a day-to-day basis. So I just don't have the time to necessarily go home and like cook lunch. I'm at the office all day. I love this. So you can rest assured too that you're

making a sustainable choice. Head to factormeals.com slash coffee combos 50 and use code coffee combos 50 to get 50% off. That's code coffeecombos50 at factormeals.com slash coffeecombos50 to get 50% off. Outside of that, can you give us the updates on the four day school week? Because the messages that I've gotten about this four day school week, it has been like on one end of the pendulum or the other.

Yeah. So there's definitely mixed, I think mixed views or reviews. A high school teacher wrote into my personal Instagram and she did give me permission to read this. So I'm gonna read it verbatim. She says, Hey, Kale, I'm a high school teacher in a small town in Texas that has been doing the four day school weeks for about five years now. My school was one of the very few first

few to implement this and we do things a bit different though. So we go to school Monday through Thursday, eight oh five to four 30. We're staying an hour longer than we used to during the five day week. And then as for Fridays, the teachers only have to work the frat one Friday out of each month, which is when we do staff development, which is like the meetings all day, basically, the other Fridays are just a part of our weekend. So however the school is open, oh, she says, however the school is open for us to use

if we would like to. Fridays are also used as Friday school instead of regular Saturday school. So I'm assuming for people who need to like make up work, I'm not really sure what that means. Teachers are able to sign up to work though so that we have some monitoring the students in the library. Anyone who signs up for that Friday gets paid extra hourly. Our district also does not offer childcare for families. She said she really enjoys the four-day work week and

that gives her the opportunity to use Fridays as appointment days for doctors appointments. That way she doesn't miss class during the week. It also gives me a chance to decompress from the chaos or I can go to school to lesson plan if I would like that way. I'm able to actually use my Saturday and Sunday as me or family time. If I worked for a five-day district then I would have to use my weekend to catch up on school stuff. So would I actually be enjoying the weekend? No, or I'd have to stay after my contract hours to catch up rather than take work home with me, which I think is, you know, she raises a bunch of good points. I think the hardest pill to swallow for that one in her situation would be the childcare on that fourth day for that area or that district

would be, you know, what do they do for childcare? I go back to what I said before, that there's gonna be no perfect solution for this because everybody's gonna have a different opinion, you're gonna either hate it, you're gonna love it, it's gonna create more issues for you, it might create less issues for you, depends on, you know, what type of household you're living in.

You might have a parent who is at home all the time, this could be very good for that type of situation, or you might have a parent who is at home all the time. This could be very good for that type of situation. Or you might have two parents that are working outside of the house and that would be very bad. Or you might be a single parent, whether you're a single mom or you're a single dad. I did see one message come through to my personal Instagram that said they used Mondays off. So they had Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and the school week started on Tuesday and went through Friday. Doesn't matter which way you break the week up. If it's Monday off or it's Friday off, if there is no childcare providing no childcare, yeah, then you know, that's going to be an issue. But I do think that this

would not only be good for students in the classroom, but teachers as well, because I know Will's mom was a public school educator for 30 years. And she talked about how her whole weekends were consumed like grading papers and doing lesson plans for the following week. And so they're deserving of a weekend off of work as well. And not to have to do the same stuff at night too, because I know plenty of teachers who don't leave the school building, you know, we, our kids get out at three, they might not leave till four or four thirty to try to, you know, tie up loose ends and still have to take shit home with them to grade and to do and to plan on the weekdays. So, and that doesn't even account for the teachers that have children themselves.

So, I just, it's hard because I don't know what the solution is. Like, if there's, like, could we offer night school? Like, could we do the four-day work week or the four-day school week? I don't know, like, we've got to be able to adopt more in 2023, because as people's situations change with, you know, family dynamic work dynamics and inflation, like all of this, I feel like we're not, we're not accounting for all of those other changes. You know what I mean? where it could possibly provide more resources for the school system by having one less school day a week. Because think about just what the public school system would be saving on fuel from buses during that time. Oh wow, that's a good point.

You know, like. Yeah, I didn't even think of that. Maybe like a reallocation of funds for students and teachers to be able to get more things by having that one day off. Right, that's a good point. You know. That's a a good point. You know? That's a good point.

I know that our children would probably love to have a four day school week. If Lux asked me one more time if he could have a day off of school and we're not even through the first month, like, I'm just, I'm like, you just had a day off on Friday. The entire district was off on Friday. Like, no, you're not getting another day.

Wait, wait until Lux realizes what a mental health day means. He'll want one every month. Because Jackson now, and he does not do this at Will's, because Will's like, I don't give a fuck. He's like, we all have shit to do in life. We're all crazy. We all have to show up. You're gonna learn to show up.

Jackson comes to my house and he's like, oh, dad, I'm just letting you know that mom's letting me take a mental health day. And I'm like, you're right, you know, I am letting you take a mental health day because I'm not sending you to school freaking crying and you're gonna end up with the nurse's office anyway, so I'm gonna be inconvenienced anyway.

So I might as well just like you. Might as well just keep you home. Oh no, I told Jackson when the school year started, I was like, sir, do not go to the nurses office and think that you're calling home fakes it. If you need to come home, I will, I will come and get you if it's that big of an issue, I will come and get you. But like faking at the nurses office and inconveniencing your nurse for her to have to get out of the thermometer and lay you down on a cot and have to change all that shit, give you a snack that you don't need. Take your temperature, call me inconvenience her, you've inconvenienced me, you've now

made her have to change the bedsheets on this cot up at the school, you've gotten to her snack drawer like no. No, like we're, no, like, we're not doing that this year. Just go to the office and say, I want to go home. My kids have not ever gone to the nurse and fake sick yet, but Lux, I just know once he figures out that that's an option, I already know what's coming. He'll be, he will be like Jackson where he would, he's calling home literally every day.

Yeah, that's, we can't, I'm going to tell the nurse, listen, unless he actually has a fever, he's not coming home. So don't even call me. I have to ask you about this. I saw this, um, this morning on Tik Tok and I want to know what experience you have had with it. And the video was about posting your children with your brand new significant other and it's a parenting advice person. I believe that she is an attorney, but she gives parenting advice on TikTok and she runs through like all of these different scenarios of like how

you should handle a situation and she said why are you stirring the pot already you haven't even introduced this person to your own family posting pictures with your child and significant other knowing that your co-parent will see it it's gonna cause a shit storm you like you like people talking about you you like being the center of attention you like being high conflict and you aren't using your brain. If that photo is so important to you, be old school, have it printed and put up in your home.

There's some valid points there. There are some valid points there. I don't have a family to bring anyone home to. My last three people that I dated never met any sort of extension of my family. No, I'm lying, Malik, my cousin, one of my cousins. I also never really posted pictures of him. Yeah, those are good points,

especially because I don't have family. So I guess I don't know, but they're good points. Okay, well, let me just change the scenario a little bit. Okay. You have your ex, you have a child with him. This ex is in a new relationship. You haven't had any interaction with this other person. You don't know them from Adam. And they're happened to me before. Posting your child on their social media. Oh, the new person. Yeah, the significant other. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

literally no. So can can we get into why it's now? You're not posting my fucking kid, that's why it's a no, like you have no business posting my child, you don't have who are you, I haven't even heard about you, my kid hasn't come home and talked about you? I haven't even heard about you. My kid hasn't come home and talked about you. I haven't been told about you from your father. No, I even, there was a time where one of my exes was posting my son. Actually, he had a sleepover with someone who I had never met.

He had just met and she was having sleepovers with my son. And I was like, this is what we're not going to do. This is what we are absolutely not going to do because you just met her and she's flying in from out of town to have sleepovers with my son. And you're posting her. No, my son wasn't in those pictures, but my son was there on that weekend. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.

For what? For what? For what? For what? I guess maybe this is like big 30 for me. My best advice if you have an ex and you have a child with that person, do not be friends with him on social media. My ex has a private social media account. It is not open for the public to be able to view. He just has his personal friends and family on that. It wouldn't be right for me to try to dictate what he can put on that private social media account at the point that it became public. That might be another issue,

but because it's private and only people that are involved in his life are seeing that stuff. I'm not even seeing it. It's not gonna be an issue to me. Okay. In the event, the person that he's with also has a private social media account and I have a friend who is friends with her on that account. So I know what's posted on there. This is a person that's known her for a long time.

So it wasn't like I had this person follow. It was literally like I had a friend who knew this person and saw a photo of her and will come up on her timeline. And she was like, Oh, I'm going to screenshot this and send this to Lindsay. Like I am happy for you. If you were happy, that's all I can ask for. Just I hope that this person treats Jackson well. And I hope that this person treats you well. And I hope that this person

is a good fit for your family. If you guys are happy, that makes me happy because happy parents are good for happy kids. Don't post my kid though. Okay, that's where I was getting at. Where were you? Okay, right. And there might be a time and a place right for that right at this stage right, it's it would not be appropriate to do that and I think that someone that Has a social media following like yourself or myself I can't help but think that maybe there would be wrong intentions of why someone would be posting my child

and there needs to be some level of trust built there before something like that happened so that my mind doesn't start slipping into a place where it shouldn't. All right, let's talk about something we both love. I have been trying to save money on all my takeout, my fast food, I have a lot of kids. Rocket Money is perfect for that.

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and they'll even send you notifications when you've reached your spending limits, which I think is such a great feature. And they have over 3 million users and counting also including us and Rocket Money customers have saved an average of $720 a year. So this is your sign to stop wasting money on things that you don't use use cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash coffee combos. That's rocket money.com slash coffee combos, rocket money.com slash coffee combos. So last year, I posted a picture of Elijah and Lux at the counter picking crabs and have their do rags on. Okay.

Elisha and I were already living together. Dad had a problem, a big problem with that. And I can sympathize with the other side, right? Because I know how I would feel if that happened to me and it's gonna sting a little bit, right? Because you're seeing something that you didn't really plan that like that's what the life was gonna look like. But at the same time you have to look at your decisions that you've made in life and why the situation is what it is. And that people move on and we all evolved and we all should be growing hopefully in a positive direction.

And that is just what the new normal in life looks like. So where I can sympathize and have empathy for someone being on the receiving end of that, I also understand why you would have posted that because where you are in life is very different now. I mean, we live together. Right. You know, we live together. Right. You know, like we share, you know, our living space

and a lot of, I mean, we share bills and everything else, you know, so. I think a lot of people though, look at situations like that and they are emotionally looking at that and not thinking logically, right? Yeah. And one of his comments was why my, why my son and not the other kids, well the other kids weren't picking crabs with him. The other kids don't eat crabs. So, you know, that just,

that's not to say that I would never post a picture of Isaac or Lincoln with Elisha cause I'm sure I have. Um, actually no, I have. And it is what it, I mean, I mean, if I saw a photo of Will posting with his new girlfriend with my son, it would sting. Yeah, well, and that's what I was gonna say. I mean, I remember when we were still very much going through the fucking trenches when Lux was first born. Lux was born in August and Chris graduated in December.

And I came across a photo of him and his now other baby mama with Lux in a picture. So why would that be okay? Y'all were not living together. You just had a son with me. You know, very different. And years down the line, my son's in, you know, this was last year, he was in kindergarten. I'm already living with Elijah, very different, you know. Now I wouldn't hurt my feelings if I see pictures of whoever, I don't, I'm so far removed from that, you're going to do what you're going to do. But I think, you know, Javi, for example, it was very, very difficult for me to see

pictures with other people or, you know or him and another relationship in the beginning. And even with Lauren, because that in the beginning, I think there was a lot of not loose ends, but unresolved things and feelings. Which makes it even worse because then you're much deeper and farther in your feelings when there are loose ends still out there that aren't tied up. Right. And then it's kind of like put put in your face. That is really hard. And I if I saw a photo now, I actually got a photo sent to me of Jackson

with Will's girlfriend at a football game. How did you feel? Very different than how I thought I was gonna feel. Okay. I thought that I would be mad and frustrated and feel like somebody's taking my place, but I didn't feel any of those things. I felt, wow, they look like they're having a good time.

She, based off of this photo and what I know she's good to him and why should I cause a stink about something like that when those are the internal feelings I have do I want to project something different to will yes because I want to protect what's mine right right but at the same time same time, it wasn't appropriate because when I saw the photo, I was like, you know what? I thought I was gonna be mad. And I didn't feel those feelings at all. And I don't know if that is a true sign

that I have fully closed that chapter and moved completely on. And I just want Jackson to be happy, whatever that looks like for his life. And if happiness over there looks like that, then I'm okay with it. So I think I've talked about it on coffee con was before. There was a period where I had, you know, there was, I don't want to speak on their relationship

because Javi asked me not to and we're in a good place. So I don't know how I can say this without getting in trouble and respecting everyone's privacy, right? There was a period of time where I basically was like, she has no business, um, posting my son right now. It's very rocky to mulch. It's all the things, right? Um, and then during that period of time, which I've talked about before, you know, she respected that they both did. And at one point I emailed Tavi, I'm gonna cry. Hold on. Didn't know we were going here.

I didn't know we were going here. I don't know, it's the weather. It's not even, I'm not even emotional because it doesn't, Kristen, you're not cutting me crying for clips. Like that's not a thing. It's cause I'm tired. Okay, it's the rain and I'm tired.

No, you're in your feels and it's okay. When does it stop? Never. I just can't, I just won't work at you. I emailed to Javi and I was like, I'm okay. Like, you know, she respected, I've talked about this before and it wasn't hard. So I don't know why I'm crying now.

She respected my feelings, she didn't post him. I'm okay with her posting him now, right? I'm not in love with Javi, right? Like I'm not in love with Joe. I'm not in love with Javi. I'm not in love with Chris But it still fucking stings. Mm-hmm. And I never want to project like you just said like It stings differently. No, mm-hmm. I Want them to be happy. I want them to be happy. I want Lincoln to be over there and feel like he is their family and come over to my house and feel like he is my family.

Sing for Isaac, sing for Lux and Crete. It just stings differently. I wouldn't say that it doesn't bother me because there are still things that I'm like, you know, for Joe and V, for example, just because I feel like I'm always attacking a hobby, not attacking, but you get what I mean. Yeah. You know, it stings for me when I find out

that like Isaac is left out of something, right? It stings differently, but they also have their family with just VV, you know, like that is part of life. So it stings differently, but they also have their family with just VV, you know, like that is part of life. So it stings differently for me, but then I don't know if it would sting differently if he was included. Would it sting me in another way? You know, so it's just the co-parenting thing.

And like, I mean, we're what, seven years removed from our divorce is like seven years has it been christened? How long have you been how long have you been married because i got married when i got divorced when she got married so coming up we're we're almost seven years removed from this divorce right but like it's still stings differently same thing for isek is like i just don't think that we ever planned this like this was just not how we saw things but like like I still, I'm all my kids to be happy in both homes.

Mm hmm. I think that in a, and I would say a perfect, I would say a perfect world, but this wouldn't be perfect either. When you get divorced, you think, okay, I'm going to be single for a long time and that person's going to be single for a long time. And we won't have to navigate any of those other things. And we don't need to worry about like other children because that's not even like in the cards. Yep.

But I think when that does happen, it changes the dynamic completely and then you have to remember that in a situation like Javi and Lauren, they have their son. So that's like a nuclear family unit. And so they can't be slighted or anybody to be upset because they're kind of doing their thing with their little nuclear family whenever they're not involved. Same with Joe and V. But then you as the mother of the children who are going back and forth, feel a type of way. And it's not in a malicious way. Exactly. Exactly. It's not it's not the bitter jealous.

Starting shit, I've done that. And we're not I mean, that's no secret. I've done that. And vice versa. Like it's been done to me as well. But it's just different. And maybe also some of the emotions come from, we don't know how they feel about it, right? Like, unfortunately, and I hate to say it this way because it's just the way it is, but like V, Lauren, Chris's other baby mama,

and Will's girlfriend, they don't have, Will up on doesn't have kids right. My kids, dads, nuclear families, their wives and significant others, they don't know any different, right? Like right, they don't know any different. So I don't know if you know, you can still not have love for them, not be in love with them. And it still stings because that's not what the plan was. Or, you know, you only, like you said, in one of the episodes,

you know, we didn't know that we would only have half, half the time, you know? And so I'm sure it's stung at some point along the way, right? Like maybe for them when they saw pictures of my kids with, with, you know, whoever. So I feel now I'm in a place of like, I do understand. A lot of it I think too is some level of unsaid guilt, right? Like you look at the other situation and you think, you know, maybe if we could have gotten our shit together and not that you want to be with that person at all, right?

Right, because I don't want anyone, V Lauren, like Chris's baby mama, like I don't want any of these men, like please don't take it that way. Yeah, it's not that at all, but it is something when you have a child with somebody that connects you in a different way, you don't want to be with that person, but you can't help but think, okay, if we would have just gotten our shit together, none of this stuff would be going on. Our child wouldn't be harmed in this process. Right. I wouldn't have to be navigating this emotion dealing with him having a baby with somebody else and me having a baby with somebody. Yes. He's with other people. Yeah. You know, so it's such a sticky situation.

I don't think that you think of any of these things. Initially, when you get a divorce or you call off a relationship or whatever, maybe you don't think about these things. Right, right, right. Yeah. I mean, but while we're on that topic, would you like to share with the class about why you feel that the US government makes it harder to get divorced? No, I think they should.

I said, I think it was a question. Do you think they should make it harder? Do you feel like, because anyone can go get married, right? On a whim, anyone can go get married. And a lot of times, it can be a no, just as quick, right? But do we think that it should be harder to get a divorce? Because on some, in some ways, I think yes. But in other ways, when you're talking about like abuse or addiction, I feel like no, right? Like, somebody should be able to say, you know, I'm being abused, I want a divorce, and it should just be get divorced,

you know, or, you know, you've tried to get your person, your significant other help for an addiction and they're just not interested, or they don't have, they don't, they're not ready for that. You know, I can understand those types of divorces, but do you think that in situations like mine and like yours where there was no abuse, should it have been harder for us to get divorced

in hopes that we would work it out and stay together? It's interesting that you have this take on this topic because I feel like it's a more biblical take. Really? You're essentially saying that you don't feel like your reconcilable differences should be, how a divorce should be granted. Well, and that you should have to's, I kind of said that. I've kind of alluded to that before because, right, like, I'm scared I don't feel like I have any business getting married again in terms of, you know, like,

all of the, like, I don't want to be married to Javi right now, right? But I do think that our marriage could have worked out if we didn't have another, like if we didn't have a way out, we would have tried harder. And I just, I don't know that I'll ever get, because I also, in my vows, I said for better or for worse till death do us part. So then I just left that marriage. I filed for divorce.

I was the, he wanted to get back together after I filed. I did not. And then I'm gonna turn around and marry someone else just to potentially get divorced again when I made vows and a commitment to like, I have no business doing things like that. When I am sitting here telling my son, if you signed up for a sport, you have to finish until you're done until the season is done. Could pull a Susie and be like say as or do as I say not as I do. You get what? So I'm just like, if I didn't, I just, I guess I can't describe what I'm trying to say and what's in my head.

Like I don't, I made these commitments and I've reneged on them. So like, well, what business do I have to get married again? Might as well make it harder to get divorced so that either A, there's less marriages so that there's less divorce or B, I mean, I don't know. But why don't we change this entire thought process because we know that the divorce rate is extremely high. So why are people getting married then? But let's change that whole thought process

of it should be harder to get divorced, no, it should be harder to get married. It should be harder to get divorced. No, it should be harder to get married. Okay, it should be harder to get married. Right. Because if it was harder to get married, I believe that the divorce rate would be lower. I believe that it should be across, it should not be up to the state, it should be a federal mandate that divorce laws and marriage laws are the same across all states in the United States. And I 100% agree. Now, is it, would it be a pain in the ass if you wanted to divorce and you just want to get out and you live in the state of Georgia and you can get a divorce granted in 30 days? That sounds good and great, right? But there are a lot of states out there that you have to have a six-month separation waiting period that I think should be applied to all states because if you, I will just

say a lot of people I believe would get back together or try to make their marriage work if you have to wait six months to be out of it. I also am like pretty sure that I filed under like irreconcilable differences like no shit because we were you know 20 and 21 when we got married but you know today I hope for any of us that won't you know if I get remarried or Javi gets remarried or Chris gets married one day like I hope that they you know they do it because they want to and I hope that they work through everything and I hope that they don't ever have to say, what, how do you know, I mean,

or what I say about my marriage, you know, like, it's just, yeah, I guess making it harder to get married, but like what would be the criteria that you have to meet in order to get married? I have talked about this on the Southern Tea about if I ever got married again, I did not do premarital counseling before my first marriage.

Neither did I. So embarrassing to say it my first marriage, like who am I? I think that that is so important because in premarital counseling, you're talking about all things that could be potential conflict when you do get married, like finances, kids, kids, like all of the things that you need to discuss and have those hard conversations. It probably is going to be not easy when you're going through that because there's going to be conflict that arises within that when you're having those types of conversations. But would I rather have them ahead of getting in a government contract with somebody and being like, hey, here I am. But now I've decided that I'm gonna

unload all of these things on you now that we're married and these are how the finance is gonna go. This is how, you know, the division of responsibilities are going to go for the household and children. No, all of those conversations need to happen ahead of getting married. Right. Because they say, I mean, think statistically speaking, when couples are having turmoil or conflict in their marriage and they start counseling, it's already too late. So it's just kind of like therapy, like if you're in the middle of a crisis and going to therapy, you may not be fully receptive to certain tools, I'm not saying in all

situations, that you would be had you gotten those tools while you were in a level headed space. Okay, so premarital counseling, going over division of responsibilities, which is like a big theme in my life right now, right? Like, I have been through relationships with kids where one parent is very resentful of the other parent, getting to go out with their friends

or going to do something for them because they are stuck with the child when it shouldn't be looked at that way. The child is on a burden. This is something that y'all chose to do. Y'all chose to have. It should be a pleasure for you to, you know, take the baby for a couple hours or a day

while the other partner goes and throws their cup and, you know, things like that. I think those are really important things that nobody is talking about. And then in terms of like divorce, it's like, go get married if you want, also go get divorced. Also in the state of Delaware, you could put that you were separated for six months when in fact you were not and you can still get divorced in 30 days. So whenever I was going through my divorce, we were amicable, but there were certain aspects of that that were toxic because it's no secret Will and I were still sleeping with each other through the

entire divorce process and post. Right. In the state of Georgia, your separation date goes off of the last time that you physically engaged with that person. So that you lie? Yeah. You basically you basically lie and say, I haven't been with this person and your attorney will follow up with you and be like, is this still accurate? Yes, ma'am.

It still is accurate except for yesterday. Yeah. We're not going to mention that part. But you can, because the divorce won't be awarded until in the state of Georgia, I believe, until 30, 30 days after that last physical engagement. If that was the case, I don't need to say it one will. And we, we would have been divorced by now, but you know what I mean? Right, right, right, right, right.

You see where I'm going with that. Yeah, I mean, Javi and I were still having relations after we were divorced, like legally decreeing the mail, like. Who were we? I don't know. And why do we think that was a good idea? I don't know. And on that note, we're into foul play.

All right. My now husband and I used to be in a long distance relationship for several years. We would only see each other a few times a year. And when we did see each other, we just wanted to get down and dirty all the time. One particular time we didn't have a condom. So we decided to do anal doggy style on the floor. But y'all were married. Why are we using a condom? Pregnancy. She didn't want to be on work be under control. You know, I guess I digress. Okay. After we were finished and he went to the bathroom, I got up and realized that a piece

of poop had come out of me at some point and it was just laying on the floor. Oh my God. I was mortified and didn't have anything to pick it up with. So I panicked, I picked it up and just screedly had to hold my little piece of poop and wait until I got to the bathroom. To this day, I still wonder if he ever saw and was too mortified to say anything. I've never shared anything, but why not share this mortifying moment on a podcast? First of all, thank you for sharing with us and trusting us to share this

information. I have a couple of things on this. Okay. Long distance relationship for several years. I'm gonna say that because it was just a relationship, he was not her husband yet when they were. Oh, okay. Okay. And then outside of that, I want to know, was this a committed relationship? Long distance or was this not? And does that explain why you were using the condom? This a lot's going to come out of this. I should just shut the fuck up. I have a cousin who had a long distance relationship with like a long distance marriage, legally married. I'm not, and I just think I still think about this regularly, like this is my Roman

Empire, because everything just clicks in your head when you're an adult, right? And I never understood why my cousin was married to this man. They lived in two separate states. Turns out she's a lesbian. They're divorced and she's married to a woman now. That's why my cousin was married to a man. He's in the military and they never lived in the same state. She always lived home and he would always get orders and be whatever, wherever he was, right? And I never understood this and she would always have excuses like, oh, I'm getting,

my master's degree, I'm getting this, I'm doing that, whatever. Now I'm 31, they've been divorced for several years and she's married to a woman. The whole reason why she was okay was because she was a lesbian and she was... Okay, so that's what I was gonna ask. Okay, so was she just a lesbian the whole time? Correct. And maybe she was married to him for the benefits?

That's right. I don't know because I haven't talked to her. I love her to death. Like whatever you do in your own business, like that's... I don't... Because I'm thinking like military benefits. That's what I'm thinking. Don't have to fuck him. Right. Could do what you can be a lesbian on your own time. Correct. Correct. Yeah, that

all adds up to me. Okay, but I just need to know if we think that this man saw the poop, because I'm going to say if he was sticking his dicky do and your buttholeole and you found poop on the floor, he saw it at some point. I would take that to the grave and never say that I saw it because that's just like embarrassing. But would you I mean, you don't have a wiener but like if if you were having anal with somebody and let's just pretend like you

have a we know I wouldn't embarrass them I would just you would just keep going and do do fell out of their butthole. Yeah, I'm just not gonna. No, I'm not gonna embarrass them. If this is my partner, my like lifelong partner, I'm never gonna I'm gonna be like you just shit on me. That's what I'm saying. You just shit on me. I can't even keep my eyes open. I am so tired. OK. It's so interesting that every single time that I have a wax appointment, which is today. Another one?

I feel like you have them weekly. That I, OK, well, I probably go way too often. Kristen probably is going to kill me. But I don't know. I just I'm obsessed with going and I'm obsessed with just like being sleek down there. So I just, I just go pretty often, but it's weird how when I am scheduled to go, there's always a foul play that I end up reading that deals with an esthetician. And it's like, is this trying to tell me something? So this person says, my sister was an esthetician

and refused to do LA'sA.'s lips and assholes because of issues with people's hygiene and how gross it could be. Her coworkers gladly did them though, better tippers in general when you're waxing the asshole and don't hurt them too bad. Sometimes people come in and they're super sweaty and it's hard for the wax to stick to the sweaty skin. So usually they just put on some baby powder on them, problem solved. One day a younger woman came in, she was super sweaty. So the esthetician decided to haul

out the baby powder, dab some on and turn to get the pot of wax to do the job. I should mention the woman was getting the woman that was getting wax was on all fours on the table as they usually are, which that is not the case for me ever. Not usually. No, I would say in some cases, but not usually. I always am, I'll have to like show you guys on a private chat sometime of what it looks like, but I just kind of like put my hands behind the small of my back and I like lift up

and just spread them. Yeah. You know? Right. Okay, so this esthetician turns to get the wax and the woman on the table lets out a fart just a little slip but still baby powder went everywhere all over the table all over the esthetician and hanging hanging in there. First of all, that wasn't a small fart then

like defined small fart because that's not happening if it's just like a little I asked my best just go for it. If the girl was embarrassed and my sister said that apparently she just played it off like she didn't drop a bomb. But the baby powder evidence told the truth. Plus it reeked, but the esthetician was a total pro and didn't even face her.

That would have been the end of my waxing career. Listen, there is a special place in heaven for people who do jobs like this. Yes, yes, yes. I would not for people who do jobs like this. Yes. I would not be able to do jobs like this. Also, just someone being sweaty. Does that mean because like I feel like we've always talked about being very, very, very clean before we go to these appointments.

But also, I guess now that she said that, I'm thinking, I guess it does make sense to like go to the gym and then like get waxed because maybe you just shower after like, I don't, but then you're not supposed to exfoliate anyway. How rude is that? How rude is that? Right, right, right. Like for that, just take two showers. Go and do your whole day and then you show up stinking and then you expect this person

to service you like, right? That is so rude. Okay. Courtney Kardashian. Um, no, but yeah, I guess I could see that. And then you expect this person to service you like right that is rude Okay, Courtney Kardashian No, I guess I could see that too on that note. I'm actually gonna go get my cat wax So if you guys have not followed us on at coffee compost podcast Make sure you follow us on Instagram if you have not subscribed the show you can do so from any podcast app Wherever you get your podcast always first at podcast one We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.