Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Repeat Trends & Step Parent Rights
Episode Date: August 21, 2023CC302: On this month's bonus episode, who and when did these 90's fashion trends come back because Kail and Lindsie kind of want in. Speaking of trends, Lindsie finds out about the so-called "coin boy...s" and Kail is absolutely amused. A video has gone viral about how a wife responded to finding out her husband cheated, and it's definitely NOT how we thought that would go. While on the topic of husbands, Kail reads a funny post regarding an imaginary situation where they die and their BFF marries their now single/widowed partner... and Lindsie is not having ANY OF IT. Kail gets emotional talking about the new step parent rights in Georgia and admits that maybe not everyone has healed from her divorce.For Foul Play, Nuva Ring gone wrong and, please, for the love of all that is good, CLEAN YOUR COOCHIES! Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors!Embrace: Head to EmbracePetInsurance.com/COFFEECONVOS and sign up for pet insurance todayFactor: Head to Factormeals.com/coffeeconvos50 and use code coffeeconvos50 to get 50% off your first boxThrive: Get an exclusive 20% off your first order when you visit thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEE
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I hate gift giving and receiving.
Receiving gifts is so weird.
What do you say thank you?
This is Coffee Convose with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Crisley.
I really want you to be in your field scale.
That does not interest me whatsoever.
I feel very attacked by you.
A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye.
I'm just not with the Fakerie anymore.
There's a Fakerie bakery around here.
Here's Kale and Lindsay.
Good morning. Good morning. I did not put makeup on today and I ran out of the house because I knew that you had something
else to do. No, it's like I can't be late. I can't have technical difficulties. I know Lindy's got
a hard out at whatever time. So it was like, let me just wake up,
clean my ass and my face and we'll go.
Listen, when you share time, it's still complicated
because you still don't have a lot of time to do anything.
And I try to like put like a lot of work
on the days that I don't have Jackson.
And then for some reason this week
just felt like it didn't have enough days.
Like it had enough, but like not enough.
Like I'm not even sure it to be over, but it just like wasn't enough.
I also feel that way sometimes and just the closer we are to back to school, the closer
it will this is about this.
You all yeah.
So the closer we are to back to school, the closer I am to losing my shit.
Why?
Because you're just so fed up.
Well, there's just like, I'm trying to pack so much into my days before we go back to
school and I'm just not sure that I'm ready. Excuse me for that adjustment. So
we'll see. You will really like whenever your kids are back in school. You think?
Yeah, because I just feel like it creates like more consistency. I was having
this conversation with my girlfriend last night on the porch and I was like I
kind of feel that to where I was before in like a normal state where I can breathe again my schedule is more consistent.
I know that he's in school for however many hours.
I'm back to going to gym early in the morning versus trying to hit like a midday.
I can actually go to Pilates.
I can do errands. So it's just nice.
I love a good consistent schedule.
Like this morning, I woke up,
got Jackson breakfast, took him to school,
listened to him fight on the phone with Will on the way,
went to the gym, went to the car wash, got gas,
came home and I still have like a million other things to do, but it's nice because all
that stuff was done before like nine o'clock. I think what I've been used to all summer is like
some things taking my time, some things packing into like my office day because when I'm here I get
certain things done when I'm home, I get certain things done, but like during the school year it's like
okay, all the like lux is playing soccer and flag football,
and then Lincoln's just playing basketball.
So I'm nervous, I guess, for the back to school.
And then immediately upon picking them up from school, we're going to be running all over
the place to sports again.
And we, Hobby and I, in the beginning of the summer, made the decision that, you know, Lincoln
wasn't going to do a whole lot of summer activities because we just wanted to give him a break and beginning of the summer made the decision that you know Lincoln wasn't gonna do a whole lot of summer activities
Because we just wanted to give him a break and really enjoy the summer
So I just feel like going back to that is gonna be
Absolute chaos, but let me tell you something I did because I was like let me get ahead of things
It sounds dumb, but I was like I had this like epiphany
And I was like okay, we know that there are spirit weeks, right?
Especially during the holidays around Halloween,
homecoming, all of that, right?
So I was like, perfect, specifically for my elementary kids
and Creed, who's going to preschool again,
like the preschool program.
I'm gonna order the Halloween shirts already,
because I already know they're gonna have to wear
a Halloween shirt. I already know they're gonna have to wear a Halloween shirt
I already know they're gonna have to wear Christmas shirts like around Christmas time
I know that they're gonna have to wear tie dye because tie dye is always in like a spirit week situation
and
Red is our school color so I know that I need to make sure that everyone has a ret like
Significantly red shirt or fully red shirt. So I ordered all of those on Amazon
like significantly red shirt or fully red shirt. So I ordered all of those on Amazon already
as part of their back to school stuff
so that I was prepared and I'm not panicked at the time
that something doesn't come when I need it.
Yeah, that's like the random, okay.
So when Jackson was in kindergarten,
I feel like they had so many dress up days,
but it's not really dress up
because they don't allow costumes at the school.
Right.
So it's like, we're a specific color, playing whatever color t-shirt, or where, like, he had
a monster's ink day or something like that.
And I'm like, nobody has.
Nobody has.
Nobody has a fucking solitious shirt, just like, laying around.
And like, if you do, and you're listening to this,
fucking good for you.
But like we didn't.
I don't have anything like that.
And you can't go to just like some regular box store,
like Target, Walmart, and expect that you're just gonna
stroll in there and they're like,
oh, the elementary school is having
a frickin' monsters ink day.
So we're gonna make sure we have you guys
stopped ready, like loaded for y''all doesn't work like that. They should do like if that's what they're gonna aim for
It should be like a Disney day because chances are more families have like a Disney related shirt or character
Lying around then specifically like something very specific like the Grinch or you know monsters ink or something like that
I need to ask you this question about clothes though. So when you do you remember like all the way back when you were in kindergarten like a way long time ago?
Did you have like a favorite outfit?
I have no idea. I probably wore hammy downs and goodwill so I don't know.
Did goodwill even exist back then? Oh, yeah.
Well, we had Salvation Army in Homestale, Pennsylvania.
We had Salvation Army and it was between a pet store
and a subway.
Oh, wow, you could kind of like sit
all the things like at one time.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I don't recall there being goodwill like back in the day,
but probably it's been around for a long time.
Who knows?
I had a specific shirt that I wanted to wear
in kindergarten all times,
and you're never gonna guess what it was.
And I'm pretty sure my mom still has it,
and if she does, I'm gonna text and ask her to mail it to me
because I could maybe wear it as a crop top at this point.
What was it?
It was a burgundy stripe. just think like 90s, right?
Like striped shirts, burgundy striped shirt,
and I had a polka-honest, like little emblem on the front.
And I would get myself, my parents always packed,
like extra stuff in the bag in case something happened, because
I would never wear wet clothes or anything.
If I got a splash of water on me, I had to change.
So I always had a change to close my backpack, and it was always that polka-honisher.
So I always got myself wet in the bathroom so that I could put on that fucking polka-honisher.
Got it.
And are your kids like that?
Lux is like, if he gets anything on his
clothes, he wants to immediately change. Creed too. But my kids specifically Lux is, he wants
to wear jeans 24 hours a day, including to bed. So it's not like a polka-honest shirt or something
specific, but he wants more jeans. Yeah.
Okay, we need to have him evaluated
because no person that I know just chooses to electively.
That's what I said.
And I'm like, you can.
He wants to put him on after a shower.
And I said, no, Lux, you're gonna put your pajamas on
and you're gonna go to bed.
And he's like, I know, but I can wear them right now
so I can wear them tomorrow.
And I'm like, what does that mean? I don't know what that means.
No, he's just trying to bamboozle the fuck out of you. And be like, I want to wear these
jeans. So I'm okay. Then wear them to bed. And they're going to be uncomfortable. And
you're going to wake up with lines all over your body. Like who just who just strolls around
in jeans all the time? If it's not leggings or athletic shorts of some kind, like the, do
you remember like when Nike shorts used to be
like super popular with oversized t-shirts?
Yeah.
We were in Dix a couple of days ago,
and I told Trent I was like,
literally if you would have known me in college,
I just wore Nike shorts literally every single day
with an oversized t-shirt to the point that you didn't even know
that I was wearing shorts.
And like that was my college uniform.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that came back. That was like a bunch of high schoolers were just doing that.
Like last year and the year before, that was like the trend.
And I was like, my boobs are too big, so it doesn't look cute on me.
So because like my boobs are out to here, so like the shirt just looks, it looks crazy.
But yeah, that was like very, at least up here.
I don't know if that's down south,
but I think we get Southern trends late.
Oh, like you feel like we trend before we all trend?
First certain things, but since like up here
is like Newark Philly, Baltimore,
y'all would get those trends later
because if they start here, then you'll get them later.
But if certain trends start down there, we get them them later. Oh I need to ask you this question.
At what point did like the high socks come back? Like the Nike... Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Socks like when did they come back? I don't it's like a lot of 90s inspired trends came back. I mean
I don't know. I think they all make their come back. It's like new balance. When did new balance make a comeback?
Listen, I have, I don't know what they're called, 701s or something like that, new balance.
Mine are like gray and they have a pink in on them. And they're so fetched. I remember
being in high school, my parents would drop me off at the mall, and I was literally not allowed to go with a friend.
I was allowed to shop by myself.
We better not catch them in the food court with your friends.
If you see them act like they're not your friends,
you can go to the mall specifically to shop.
And I would go to journeys,
and I specifically remember saving up
what felt like so much money probably wasn't,
but saved up so much money and
bought pink new balance. No you didn't buy fucking new balance. Yes I did. I bought pink new balance.
And I I've strolled around in those things for the entire year and like I love them and now I have
the remake of them now. So all of these trends that you're talking about I feel like fashion just like
cycles there are certain things that I never want to see come back but then there are certain things them now. So all of these trends that you're talking about, I feel like fashion just like cycles,
there are certain things that I never want to see come back, but then there are certain things that
I'm like, okay, that makes sense. Like yesterday, my outfit was baggy. I wouldn't really say they
were baggy, but they're like between baggy and tight to like whatever that is loose fit,
with like rips all over them. And remember like back in the 90s when
Cool moms wore the sleeveless like sweater tops
I do I feel like that was 80s also because like I remember pulling them out of my mom's closet and she hadn't worn them in a while
Like they're so cool and I used to think it was so weird
that like moms did that back in the day.
I just like hated their fashion and thought,
like you are literal social suicide.
Like what are you doing?
Why are you wearing that?
And like the claw clips, they were so cool.
So claw clips came back hard.
You know, Amazon and influencers making their commission
off those cute claw clips. Like I have a bunch. I
probably have one in this office right now. I have so many.
I have a lot too. I actually got a Barbie, like a Barbie
clock. Recently, recently. So because of the Barbie movie, I
haven't even gone to see it yet with I do want to go and see
it because I want to see what the hype is about. But there were so many like controversial things
that I saw posted all over TikTok of people
like giving their reviews on why you shouldn't
take your daughter to see it.
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like, okay, well, I just want to go.
We don't have daughters.
I just want to go and see it to see what the hype is about.
Mainly because I'm nozy,
but I was like a big barbie for early too.
Oh, me too.
But yesterday I was wearing these baggy pants and pearls.
Like, I feel like those used to be like so popular,
like pearl stuff.
So I was wearing like these pearl heels,
this pearl claw clip, and I feel like I literally blew up
out of the, like I was a suburban mom from the 90s.
But then I started thinking,
I didn't wear a bra underneath my sweater
and you could kind of like see my nipples through.
I don't still have I.
I don't think that moms in the 90s
like didn't wear bras.
Like I think they always wear bras.
Like moms in the 80s probably didn't,
but in the 90s they did.
Like I don't ever remember.
Why do you know my mom's nipples?
The 70s was big for no bras.
It was like a free the knit-knit movement type deal,
like all the hippies and stuff like that.
I feel like I could get behind that movement remember?
I don't know though.
I feel like 90s also had some No Bra type of deal.
But I think it was more like,
the traffic outside my office is terrible.
When I'm thinking of like 90s and like No Braw,
I'm thinking more of like pop culture,
like more like in the music industry and things like that,
they did more bras, but like our parents did.
Like it was like taboo unless you were an entertainer or something.
Right, yeah.
So like I don't recall ever seeing my mom
wear one of these like sleeveless sweaters
that I'm talking about with her nipples like flyin' out. I don't ever recall that. But I'm like that.
We should normalize that nipples are okay like men go to the pool with no top
on and their nipples are out. So like why can't our nipples be out and I don't
want to put on a fucking nipple cover. There was a picture that came out
recently or let me not picture that came out recently,
or let me not say it came out recently,
I saw it recently,
because we all know I live under a fucking rock
of Kendall Jenner and Bad Bunny,
and she's clearly not wearing a bra,
her nipples are out, but like, to me,
that's like, I don't,
first of all, I was like, good for you,
because I don't wanna wear a fucking bra.
I don't, I just don't. I never want to.
I hate it.
But it also just like who cares?
I'm going to see if I can pull it up right now.
Kendall.
Like I literally don't care.
But remember back in the day, like years ago,
when we first started the podcast that I talked about going
somewhere without a bra and I said I felt completely naked
and like it's weird.
Mm-hmm.
Honey, like I'm out all the time with Audra Braun now
and I feel like if you have the nipples to do it,
it's fine to do it.
I think if you don't even have the nipples to do,
who just do whatever the fuck you want?
Where would everyone I found it?
I'm gonna have Kristen, I'm gonna send it somewhere
and have Kristen post it and she just,
and nobody cares.
I don't know if it's just like,
again, in the industry type thing,
like nobody even blinks twice at it or looks twice at it
or thinks twice about it,
but like anyone that's not in the industry
or in the entertainment business is offended by it.
Kristen just messaged us and said,
Kendall never wears a bra.
Her nips are always out and about.
Like, I didn't get that text.
I absolutely love that for her.
I also need to know when this trend happened
with the no shaving of the armpits.
Oh, that's a good one.
And is that something that you follow?
No, because my sons, they pointed out to me,
if I go a couple days without shaving my armpits, and you know, I walk around my house in a sports brawl.
I just do, that's what I do. I always have done. And Isaac specifically.
I think Isaac Elliott Rivera. Um, he humbles the fuck out of you.
Yes, and you know what? He does it so politely, so he's not like the other kids
where they're just like, well, ripped me to shreds,
but specifically, I was like,
not that long ago.
It probably was like three days by the time,
and my armpit hair grows fast.
So I was in my sports bra,
and then he, I like barely lifted up my arm,
and he was like, mom, you didn't shave.
And I looked at him and I said, I know.
Like, I'm aware.
I know I didn't shave, I don't wanna shave.
I don't, why do you feel like I have to shave?
Like, what?
Like, I was just like, I know.
But he was offended that I was offended.
And I was just like, I don't want to shave every day.
Like, I get it.
I understand why people don't, it's natural, men have it.
When did it become like a thing for women
to have to shave all their fucking body parts
and men don't have to?
I don't know.
I mean, I don't think I could ever get behind the trend
just specifically because I don't even know if it's a trend.
Like, I don't even know what the methodology is behind,
like, not shaving your pits,
if it's like this freedom movement or something,
which good and great for whoever's doing it,
not gonna judge you for it,
it's just something that I could never do
because I can't stand hair.
Yeah, okay, I could see that.
Like, I don't want hair on any part of my body
other than my head and I want a lot of it there.
I don't, hair doesn't really bother me.
The only thing that does bother me is
if I know I haven't shaved in a week and I go somewhere and I want to wear shorts and it's like,
fuck, I didn't shave. But I'm not, I'm not going to shave every day. I'm just not going to do it.
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combos or else they will not know that we say. Okay, can I tell you something that happened this morning? So I had text will and,
because I saw this funny meme,
and Jackson's always on some bullshit.
So I thought it was just like funny to send him.
And it says, the teacher says,
we need to talk about your son.
And the parent says, why?
The teacher says he announced the entire first grade
that he was back on his bullshit.
The parent said, well, he is.
So we'll go, you support bad behavior.
He's like the coin boys.
I said, what is the coin boys?
So he sends me this whole post about the coin boys.
And I'm like, okay, I need to know who these kids are and why this is a thing.
So this is basically like a thread of teachers
that go and post like stupid shit
that they think that kids do.
So this teacher goes,
every year these kids come back with a new annoying quirk.
Coin boys are apparently the new thing.
I've been my 10th year of teaching mostly freshman
and I swear to God ever since the pandemic
and honestly like five years before that, there's always been this new thing that
students bring to school that they've learned over the summer from the internet
or wherever. The newest thing is the is a flock of self-proclaimed coin boys who
carry a quarter on hand at all times and constantly flip it. They have their
entire personality revolve around coins, coin flips and chance. When we went
around doing an icebreaker four or five of the kids said some
variation of I lived by the coin and die by the coin as their fact.
Just about an hour ago, when I assigned the first assignment for the school
year, one of the coin boys was bold enough to say, heads, I do it, tails, I don't.
I told him if he flipped the coin, he would be getting a call home at the first week of high school.
He flipped it anyway and it came up heads. Thank God for that at least.
But then the other coin boy in the class flipped his coin and it came up tails.
He said the coin has spoken and he's not doing it. I said very well, enjoy your zero and call home.
What a great way to start off the school year. Andrew high school career.
I really hope this dies off soon. I haven't seen anything online about this when I do hold it.
So I'm assuming it could just be a local group thing
unless any of you have more information.
This entire thread is literally just teachers roasting kids,
calling them trolls.
I mean, actually a couple of my girlfriends are teachers
and specifically one of them tells me all the tea.
And I'm just like, I-
What do you find out?
I mean, well, one kid didn't come to school
and they went and did like a true and see checkup
and the mother, I hope I don't give up.
I mean, I'm sure it was on the news, so it's fine.
The people, whoever is designated to be like the trueuancy officer to go do these like welfare type checks,
discovered a mother on the porch rocking and feed it,
battle feeding squirrels.
See, I'm, I'm very forward to do whatever you want to in life and like
whatever consequences come for your actions come for your actions, like,
whatever, but I can just tell you if I was a truancy officer and I showed up and like whatever consequences come for your actions, come for your actions, like whatever.
But I can just tell you if I was a truancy officer
and I showed up to someone's home
and they were rocking and bottle feeding a squirrel,
I would immediately leave and lie and said I did a check
and nobody was there.
Nobody was there.
No, but I don't think it was just like one squirrel
that it was being bottle feed said.
I think it was like several squirrels around
that this is like an ongoing thing.
What do you do with information like that?
And then the child was inside.
So like the mom's just like chilling
and rocking and feeding squirrels
and the child is inside not going to school.
How many days does your kid have to miss
for them to go out and do a truancey and well in my in my kids district it's eight if they're missing eight days in a row
you get a true and see letter and then I would assume an officer would come out.
Well yeah, I mean I think that's fair enough like they want to know kind of what's going on and if you guys just
disappeared off the face of the earth and still part of the school system, like fair, but the squirrel thing.
I mean, what parents do?
I don't really think that that's up to the school district
to decide if that's normal.
No, but it's like you're alive and you're well
and you're able to feed wild animals.
So. But you can't get your kid to school.
Right.
I think that was the concern.
Was it like, you know, I don't think you should be feeding squirrels. I think it was just like, if you can feed get your kid to school. Right. I think that was the concern. Was it like, you know, I don't think
you should be feeding squirrels.
I think it was just like,
if you can feed squirrels,
you could probably get your kid to school.
Okay, but what do we think
about the frickin' coin boys?
I need to know if Lincoln has,
Lincoln is on top of all of the things.
And Isaac is too.
He just doesn't really like do them,
but like Lincoln is like,
he would do like trendy stuff.
So I'm gonna have to ask him if he's heard of that.
As a teacher, personally, if I was one,
you have to choose your battles with teenagers.
I'm not calling home because you flipped a coin
and said that you're not doing something.
I'm just not gonna do it.
That's your consequence.
I'm not calling your mother.
Just let us hear what it's like to her. That's what I was gonna say. Like, now everything is so electronic that parents can just like log in and see grades or whatever.
Put a little comment. The way I would handle that is just put the zero and the thing and then have the parent call me.
Right. Like, or if there's a comment for I know on my kids online stuff, it'll like it'll have comments it'll leave comment spaces or whatever. I also like if we're gonna
talk about the teacher thing which I think has been a little bit more relaxed
here at least is like the hat thing. Well a hat shouldn't be a distraction or a
hood up or someone putting their head down. I know like all of those things as a
teacher. I'm not arguing about those things as a teacher. I'm not arguing about those things. Those are things that I'm not gonna,
I'm gonna choose my battles.
You know what I mean?
The coin thing is kind of funny,
but like, I don't know,
as a teacher I could say it's funny.
Okay, I think it's funny as people who are reading this
that are not dealing with this.
And like, we don't have to be in the classroom,
listen to these kids talk about this stuff
and constant coin for things.
But is the trend kind of funny?
Like I live in, I live in, die on this coin.
Like that's funny.
It's probably a distraction at some point and I get that.
But the trend itself is like kind of funny.
It is funny and I was gonna ask Jackson about it
and I text Will and I was like,
I'm an Ash Jackson about it when he gets text Will, and I was like, I'm gonna ask Jackson about it
when he gets home from school.
And he was like, absolutely fucking not
because if he's not a coin boy, he will become one.
What was the book I read it in middle school
or high school, I can't remember,
with pony boy, stay golden pony boy, the outsiders.
I don't know why the coin thing,
and like that being like a local like if it's
like a little local thing reminded me of like the outsiders and like they're little I don't know
like I just feel like those are the things that you remember for a lifetime and like it's kind of
like the sisterhood of the traveling pants right yeah I don't know I just think it's funny and
there's certain things and I'm like just let let the kids live, but to the point of...
It's a distraction for everybody else, obviously.
I get it.
Chill it out, yeah.
I actually saw one of my girlfriends,
she's a blogger and she has multiple kids
and from various ages, like you.
So one going into like pre-K,
I think one's in second grade
and then one's in like third or fourth grade.
And she was talking about the transition and her kids having a really hard time. And at the
point that your kid comes home crying every single day because the alignment with the teacher that
they have been assigned is not working. Do you have a right as a parent to go to the school and voice your concern,
or do you just ride it out for the entire school year
and let it be a learning lesson for your kid
that you're not gonna get along with everyone,
and this is what you're gonna have to go through
because this is what the school shows for you,
like how do you, as a parent, deal with that?
So I'm torn on this because I think it does vary by situation and by
the personality of both the children and the parents. It kind of goes hand in hand with my thoughts
now on committing to a sport that you've been that you signed up for. Part of me wants to look
at the bigger picture, right? Like part of me wants to look at when they're an adult, what would be the scenario, right?
If you're constantly going at it with your boss,
you're most likely going to either,
they're gonna fire you,
or be you are gonna get fed up
and you're gonna go look for another job.
So that is not a permanent situation.
On the other hand, life is not fair,
life is not easy and you're not gonna get along with everyone.
So it's like a catch 22, right?
It's like how I used to feel about sports
and finishing sports because you committed to it,
and now we need to finish the season.
But in real life, if you sign up for something
and you don't fucking like it,
it's taking a toll on your mental health
or you don't get along with the coach
or you don't get along with your teammates, as an adult, you can leave, you can choose to leave that.
So I just, I think it varies.
I think it depends on the situation and the people involved.
I think what could be right for one of your children, maybe going to the school and switching
teachers, might not be the answer for another one of your kids.
I don't think there's a right answer.
I feel like it goes back to how you and I've talked about before with sports, with the
commitment. To me, if it was an extreme issue, then I think that's something to address
not only with your child, but with your teacher, with your child's teacher. But also teaching
your kids to face some level of adversity, I think is healthy as well.
But I think that there is, it's a delicate balancing act.
Like for example, this specific situation that I was hearing about, it's not a school-wide policy
that they don't celebrate holidays.
They celebrate them as holidays.
So nothing specific, no religion-based, anything, but it's celebrate them as holidays. So nothing specific, no religion based, anything,
but it's just celebrated as holidays
if the teacher chooses to celebrate.
Okay.
In this class, the teacher said no holidays.
So like no holidays, anything like a class holiday party.
Like I remember back when I was in elementary school,
it was always called a Christmas party.
We've talked about this.
Like I've always had Thanksgiving, Christmas, you know, all the things, right?
All the stuff.
All the stuff.
And we talked about how we would do like associated word searches and like all the fun
activities that came along with that.
And that was such an exciting time of school.
So, I don't even think people who weren't religious really thought about the religious aspect of it other than the fact that it was a celebration of the time of the year.
Right. I would agree with that.
Now they don't do any of that and it's just gone strictly to holiday party, which I'm okay with.
Everybody should be respected, whatever you know, if you don't celebrate Christmas, you shouldn't be forced to have to celebrate Christmas. And it shouldn't be called a Christmas holiday party.
If everybody in that class, it should be inclusive for everybody.
But for a teacher to say, I'm not going to allow any celebrations in my class for any holiday,
like not even Valentine's Day.
She could be Jehovah Witness.
But like, what's Valentine's got to do with that?
Well, Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate anything,
including birthdays because they were not in the Bible.
Allegedly, I think that's what it is.
But if you're going to a non-religious affiliated school,
then I don't believe that any religious affiliation
should be applied to anything that's going on in the school then.
Whether that be coming from a teacher or students.
On the flip side, maybe she felt no holiday parties because she didn't want to rock the boat and
make anyone uncomfortable or have to deal with anything, you know, regarding discrimination or
anything. If she felt like she, like maybe she just didn't want to open that can of worms and the
event that she may or may not offend someone still even being inclusive with the word holiday versus like a specific like my kids for their Christmas
Christmas, their holiday songs that they sing where we go.
Look, I don't even know what it's called like holiday concert choir, whatever they did a Spanish song, song about Kwanzaa, a song about Hanukkah.
And then a song about Christmas. But what about the rest of the holidays that you might celebrate?
You know, like maybe she didn't want to be inclusive but still get...
I believe in fairness for everybody. Like, whatever you celebrate is what you should be
allowed to celebrate. However, you want to celebrate it. And coming together at that time of
the year, all celebrating as whatever holiday you celebrate jointly, I think
should not be not allowed in the classroom. That to me is insane. And if I got
some message from the teacher that was like, we're not celebrating any holidays
here, I quite literally would be pissed,
not because I want holiday celebrated in the school,
just because we celebrate them,
but I just think it's a fun time for kids.
And that's understandable.
I do think, you know, maybe for teachers
who don't want to celebrate any type of holiday,
they could still make some fun things go on during that time.
Other more games, more, I don't know.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You know, like it's such a fun time for them to look forward to.
And I just remember when I was in school getting so excited, like, oh, next week is like
the holiday party or the Christmas party or, oh, we're going to get to celebrate Thanksgiving
and have a feast.
And that was so much fun.
It was so fun.
And now I feel like that element is being removed.
And that's why a lot of kids don't wanna be at school
because they don't have anything to look forward to
because it's just like this rapid pace
of we're jumping from one thing to the next thing,
the next thing we're focusing on these units.
We don't have time to do anything extra.
I don't believe in that.
We gotta send Kiwi Co to all these schools.
Listen, we're like, if you're going to have a holiday party,
here's some projects that will be great for y'all. Like we should just donate
some Kiwi Co, I don't know. Yeah, it would be, it would be so much
fine. I'm so nervous for school to start back up here because I don't know
what that's going to look like with all the sports that we're about to go into with the new school year approaching
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Wait, in completely unrelated news, can you tell me about this viral situation that went on about this woman catching or me in cheating? Okay, so I thought that this was going to be perfect for you and I to talk about because
I figured you would have some strong feelings on it and I just can't let's hear what
you're going to say.
So basically this husband and wife, they build a home together, they have children, they
both work, they both contribute, etc., etc.
Like, essentially, the quote unquote, American dream that doesn't actually exist, right? and she's going to give you a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a I'm not going to let go of everything that we've built together. We both financially support each other.
We both raise the kids together.
We both split responsibilities, etc., etc.
What we're going to do now is you're going to cheat.
You cheated.
Now I'm going to go cheat in peace.
You're not going to ask me questions about it.
You're not going to say anything to me.
But what I do in my private time is what I do in my private time.
And then we're going to come home and we're going gonna still raise these kids and be in this household together and he was
Sick like he that was not okay. He that I don't think he expected that so in the sense
He was sick because he didn't know that she was gonna take it there or it was some type of double standard that
He didn't want her doing that, but it was okay for him to do that.
Both.
Okay, no.
While I understand a lot of people are in marriages like this, probably way more than anybody knows that they decided to get married, have kids together.
It becomes some type of either cheating on one side or I would say you would refer to that as an open relationship, I guess.
But still choose to raise their kids together and keep their household intact.
I personally could never do that because that's not what I signed up for.
What I signed up for would have been to be married to one person, to have that person solely for me and me solely for them and for us to raise
kids together financially do everything together and just simply do life together. There
would be no absolute way that I would give someone an out to be like, okay, well now that
you cheated that open up the door for me to do it. And so we're just going to go on that,
like that to me is creating such a toxic situation. Somebody's gonna get killed
Someone is definitely gonna get killed because I think too. There's a huge double standard in that
men
Who men will cheat and then if a woman cheats back or finds out later on that the woman also cheated they feel like
They were done dirty tenfold as if it's not the exact same thing as them cheating in the first
you know what I mean? Like but I think you have to look at the situation though and say is it an
appropriate response for someone to cheat and you to cheat back because they cheated and I don't
think that that's an appropriate response.
I will say that I've been in that situation
where I was in a long-term committed relationship,
what I thought was a committed relationship,
he cheated over and over and over,
and towards the end, anytime we broke up,
I was doing whatever I was doing with someone else,
but we were broken up.
I never did it while we were together
because it was like, you taught me this.
You taught me this. This is what, but that was also, I mean, I was younger and I also think that it was a sign that I
should have gotten out of the relationship long before, but I was young and I just didn't, I was like
eventually he's going to pick me. So I don't need to, but I just thought it was, I needed your opinions
on it because I was like, I understand where she's coming from and I understand the theory behind it
is like, you know, we made these vows to each other
and you're out here doing me dirty.
Now, you're gonna have to wonder
for the rest of our lives
if I'm out here doing you dirty or not.
I understand the theory, I understand the anger,
the hurt, all of that because of what they built together,
but do I think it was an appropriate,
do I think it's an appropriate overall for me? No, I don't think because that's toxic. At the
end of the day, you're, you're then going to be. That's not pounding the situation. Yeah.
Because you are fighting bad with possible worse. Right. Like deal with the devil. You know,
not the double. You don't don't. Yeah yeah exactly and also in that situation kill I would literally call his ass out on the
cheating file for divorce file for child support and
element and spousal support yeah and be like you can do whatever the fuck you
wanted to do because I'm said I'm good I can't say that I've ever like I don't
know what the like I don't want to call it a phenomenon but like the whole cheating back thing that's now I've never done that in my life like I've ever, like, I don't know what the, like, I don't want to call it a phenomenon, but like, the whole cheating back thing, that's not, I've never done that in my life.
Like, I've never caught someone cheating and then cheated back. Like, that to me,
even in my most immature days, I've never been like, well, you cheated, so I did it too.
No. Like, I'm cheated, but it was never in response to somebody else cheating on me
I think with the relationship I just described it was like a pattern of behavior that I was I became used to so it was like
Okay, well if he's not giving me it was immature on my part like he's not giving me what I need he's cheating
Every time we break up. I'm gonna go find comfort in someone else
But then as soon as we get back together, I'm gonna leave this person and go back to him
to find comfort in someone else. But then as soon as we get back together,
I'm gonna leave this person and go back to him.
That was a learned behavior
or something that I developed over time.
Well, I feel like that's a trauma response, number one.
Number two, it's always sticky when you involve
third parties if there is ever any chance
of a reconciliation of a relationship
that you have not let go of.
So that third party was harmed in the process
of whatever was going on between y'all
that was unfinished business.
And that's not fair to that third party person,
because then they're investing their time,
their energy into something that's never gonna come
to fruition.
And those people that I would go to,
I mean, this was over the course of years.
So it's not like I was just like fucking Joe Smost
sleeping around and doing whatever,
but those people were good people with good intentions.
And I left them in the dust every time
this fucking dusty ass guy wanted me back.
He's so corny for that.
He's so fucking corny, sir.
I'm just glad I'm not there anymore.
Like, in this big age of 31, I don't have it in me.
Like, if I ever, like, just don't even bother
because I like my peace.
I like to be by myself.
I don't leave my house unless I'm traveling.
Like, I literally don't go anywhere
and don't go over Delaware unless I'm traveling.
So, and I'm happy here. Like, I don't, like, just don't go to Delaware, unless I'm traveling. So, and I'm happy here.
Like, I don't, like, just don't bother me.
I love that for you.
I wanna know how you feel about this situation.
So, I read it and I have a lot of thoughts on this.
A listener asks us, I call the landlord snooping,
not a basic home check, while her husband installed
a new window unit within her
rights or is that invasion of privacy? Wait, I don't understand. While her
coffee landlord snooping, not a basic home check while her husband was in
okay, so the husband, they live together, the husband and wife live in a rental.
Mm-hmm. And the landlord's husband was installing a new unit and she was
snooping around. I'm pretty sure that's what this person means.
Why am I having a hard time with this? So what? So these people live in this rental.
Okay. The landlord brings her husband to install a new window unit and while he's doing that,
she is snooping around and the people's stuff. No, that's an invasion of privacy.
is snooping around and the people's stuff. No, that's an invasion of privacy.
100%.
And no, no landlord, even with 48 hours notice
or whatever here state's notice is,
you don't get to snoop through my stuff.
You can come do an inspection with notice.
But like, what does that inspection look like?
And at one point for pipes, cracks, leaks. Does the air conditioner work? Does
the heat work? Does the refrigerator run? Are all your appliances working? Things like that.
Snooping through stuff. To me. To me, that's like a legal. Like, if you are paying for a place,
I don't care if it belongs to someone else, like you're paying them to be there
and to occupy that space.
Correct.
And if someone, if I was renting somewhere,
and I found out that someone came to do a check,
and they were going through like my drawer of panties
that I don't even own, but like if I did,
yeah.
I would feel so offended by that.
No, I'm offended that my landlord
here at this office had someone in my office
repairing something without telling me ahead of time.
And while he was doing it during working hours
without any notice whatsoever,
I'm offended by that and he wasn't even snooping.
I don't believe in people needing to be in other people's
space and being fucking weird.
That's like that.
Like that's a lawsuit but did they find, did they catch him?
Like how did they know that the landlord was snooping?
Well, I don't know. I'm gonna assume that maybe they saw him.
Like what if they had a ring or like a nanny cam?
When I rented my one house out.
Yeah.
I never went there.
I never called them. I never like that's your space and I will whatever like at the one year mark
I did a walkthrough. That's it. I feel like unless there's something like super suspect like someone doing like a legal activity or something like that. I feel like that space should be completely respected,
and it's the tenets responsibility to call you
and alert you.
If something is going on, it's not really necessarily
your job or place to go in and be in their space.
Agreed.
I agree with that.
That's so weird.
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I need to read something to you that my hair style has sent me.
Oh God. Um, you know, it's like, this is me, Kristen Lindy. Okay. PSA.
If we are friends and I die before you do not marry my spouse, I do not
care how sad you are.
I do not care that both of you all are grieving and needed someone to lean on,
lean on Jesus.
I do not care about your happiness and how happy they make you.
Ain't that much happiness in the world for you to marry my widowed spouse.
If they make you happy, then be miserable.
I do not give you my blessing.
I do not open your mouth and say no foolish shit.
Like he would want me to be happy
and would give us, he would want us to be happy
and would give us his blessing.
Cause no, I would not.
Once again, I do not care about your happiness
and would never, and would never say no Tom Fulery like that. I would personally make Once again, I do not care about your happiness and would never say no tom foolery like that.
I would personally make sure your marriage fails
from wherever I end up after I die.
Good bye.
Because why you got to marry my spouse
out of all widows in the world, you choose mine.
Absolutely not.
Okay, listen, this gets into like a slippery slope debate
and I've talked about this personally before.
First of all, I'm bearing myself with your dick. That's first of all. We're cutting it off. We're cutting it off. Yes. Your hands and your dick because you're not going to be touching
anybody or using that with anybody. So that's number one. The thoughts when I was married.
So Afira had Jackson. remember how I told you I had
like these intrusive thoughts?
Yes.
Okay, so it wasn't only like intrusive
and like a parenting aspect,
but I also had these intrusive thoughts
about my marriage and if something happened to me,
how would I feel if we'll like got remarried
and Jackson had like a new mom and I would
honestly like it was like a blister it was like festering like I could not deal with
the thoughts of thinking of him being with somebody else and Jack is having a new mom.
Those types of intrusive thoughts this is crazy and I don't know if it's like unhinged
or like possibly like those were the thoughts that kept me from doing really dark things during my depression
period because I was like I don't want to like wherever I end up after I die, do not want
to see my kids being raised by somebody else. Like in the nicest way possible, it wasn't like,
oh they can't, you know, they're never going to be me, it's not as good as, it wasn't like that,
it was just like I want to be the one to raise them.
Like, I, those were the types of things
that kept me out of actually doing certain things.
It's like, those intrusive thoughts actually kept me
the fuck alive.
But you have to take yourself out of the equation.
And it's really hard to do a lot of times
when it feels like so personal to you. But you have to remove yourself out of the equation. And it's really hard to do a lot of times when it feels like so personal to you.
But you have to remove yourself out of the equation and be like, okay, well, would I truly want this person
that I love to be happy because I no longer can be here. And what I want Jackson to have a mom figure in his life
if I wasn't there to do that. I wouldn't want him to go with owls but selfishly I wouldn't want anybody else to do it.
I don't want it to be one of my friends though because that's weird.
That's where I was getting with it. Like could you imagine just straight up passing away
and then all of a sudden your BFF was now shacked up with your man.
Like no.
I know someone who's done this.
So this person that I know, it was a best friend.
And this best friend had a child with this man.
She had cancer and God rest her soul.
She passed away.
The best friend ends up being very close
to the husband and ends up marrying him and raises her, I guess, now ex-best friend or
still best friend from dead ends up raising the child. And honestly, if that was a
situation that happened to me, it would be good that I
was dead so I couldn't see it. The only way it would happen is if I was dead, um, put, like, I get
the happiness aspect of it, like you want your children to have a mother figure there, especially in
something like cancer where you, you don't have a say, um, you know, when you pass away, but to have like my best friend, no.
This makes me think of that movie, Stepmom.
I've never seen it.
Wait, what?
Honey, my parents, not just one of my parents,
but I want to see the movie twice,
because my parents both wanted to see it with me.
Great movie.
If you guys have not watched the movie, Stepmom,
the mom has cancer and she's going through
all the treatments and stuff,
but yet she's simultaneously watching
while this is going on,
this Stepmom kind of start filling in gaps for her.
And to me, that would be incredibly, incredibly hard.
Like, I don't know that quite honestly,
that situation would take me out on an emotional level
before the cancer would.
Yeah, I agree.
How do we feel while we're on this topic?
How do we feel?
Let's say you are in a relationship with someone
and you
guys break up. Okay. And then that person that you are in a relationship with is still kind of like
part of your friend group or became part of your friend group met all of your friends. And then
after the fact of you guys breaking up, they start dating one of your friends and your friend group.
I don't love that either.
No, like why can't you find somebody else?
Like all these fucking men.
Yeah, like all of these fucking people in the world.
And like, okay, so let me ask you this.
Similar to this, in seventh grade,
I was the new girl at this middle school in a new city.
Like I moved from that town that had like 4,000 people
to the one that was like really much bigger
I met this girl in seventh grade like just met her
Didn't like we just became friends and I had a crush on this boy named torell. This was my first boyfriend
Well lo and behold that was her first boyfriend from like elementary school. I'm the first crush
Listen like
elementary school drama kill Mm-hmm as it would like I but I'm the first crush. Listen. So like, celebrate. The elementary school drama kill.
Mm-hmm.
As it goes.
But like, I, but I'm owning it, I'm telling you what I did.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you.
I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. I'm gonna defend you. What does make Owl at their movies like entail at that time? Like we put our tongues in each other's mouths.
Did he feel you up?
No.
Did you even have boobs?
In seventh grade, yes.
But we didn't, like, we weren't there yet, you know what I mean?
But like my best friend at this new school,
like they had crushes on each other in fourth grade,
or whatever fifth grade, I don't know,
before I knew either of them.
So like, is that the same type of thing that I, like, I mean him
worked together for like four months in seventh grade?
You know what I mean? Like, that was a big deal.
That's a, listen.
That was a big deal back then.
That's a big deal.
And the fact that you guys were sword fighting with your tongues with the movies,
like, that's honestly a big deal.
First of all, you're texting Torell.
Yeah, I'll text him right now.
Um, okay.
We have FaceTime him.
So I'm going to defend you on this.
You didn't know the situation that you were getting into when you got into it.
That's very different than you being a grown person, like at our age, hanging out in a friend group.
All of your friends kind of know the ins and outs
of your relationship, you break up,
and then one of your friends starts trying to pursue your man,
like just because he's not my man anymore,
he's like still my man.
Okay, so how, but how close is okay?
And how far away, like out of the equation,
the friendship, the group, like how close are we talking?
Like what's within Girl Code and what's outside of Girl Code,
I guess?
Um, I feel like if you've been around me and my man
and we didn't work and you've hung out with us
like on the reg, you're out.
Okay.
You are not an option and you shouldn't think you're an option.
Okay.
Okay, yeah. But like you and Torell, you are not an option and you shouldn't think you're an option. Okay.
Okay, yeah.
But like you and Torell,
and for can seventh grade,
I feel like that's a whole different thing.
Like I don't know about you,
but when I was in middle school,
people were swapping boyfriends around,
like it was their full-time job.
Like one person.
No, it's always my only boyfriend in seventh grade.
One person might be Dayton Tre.
Last week. And then he's got a whole new girlfriend that he's dropping notes in her locker the next week.
And it's like not a big deal because nothing physically is going on.
It's literally just a term that you're saying, oh, we're boyfriend and girlfriend.
Right. But nothing's really going on. You're really not even talking. Like you're like side eyeing each other in the hallway.
Right, okay.
You know?
I did tell my friend at the time,
I was like, oh, I have like a crush on this guy, Torell.
They're this boy.
And she was like, I was with him in fifth grade.
And I was like, oh, okay, well, that doesn't count.
And she was like, it's okay.
Like, but then I think that she was,
she told me it was okay, but like it was, she wasn't okay with it.
Yeah, she definitely wasn't okay with it.
She was just passive.
Well, I'm sad.
I'm sorry, Felicia.
This is shout out to Felicia in 2000.
Not Felicia.
Yeah, that was her name.
She's so pretty and I just loved her.
She was like my best friend in seventh,
because I was the new girl.
I didn't know any, like, but she took me right under her wing.
So I felt bad that I did her like that.
You should literally shook her hand and took her man.
In seventh grade.
In seventh grade, that's the high-speed.
That's shisy.
That is shisy.
Key shisy.
Key shisy.
Okay, so I saw this, came up on TikTok.
It is a family lawyer that I really,
who is there, I probably follow her.
I forget what her name is, but I'll
send you the video of who it is, but it's a family lawyer in Georgia and the
reason I follow her is because it's Georgia-based and it goes by Georgia Wall.
So she does these videos pretty regularly and it's pretty much like a daily
thing of different like situation stuff and this was on step parents and how their step parent Georgia law.
And she said a step parent can get custody and or visitation of your child in Georgia.
Equitable caregiver statue allows the court to find that a particular party has assumed
the role as a parent and they're working to have rights and responsibility
to custody and visitation of the child.
The court finds this individual assumed the role voluntarily
been consistently involved with the child
and has created a strong bond and that child
would be harmed if a bond or relationship didn't continue.
If that is proven, the court has the right to give
visitation and custody to the child to that person.
Yes, I believe that's also here in Delaware.
Was that something that you dealt with with Isaac with Harvey?
Yeah, and truthfully, and I've set up a four,
I'll say it again, nothing has hurt Isaac more in his life
than my divorce with Harvey.
So anyone can say what they want about what I'm doing,
my choices, but nothing has affected
him the way that my divorce did. And I do believe that that makes sense to me. A law like
that makes sense to me in the event that it is a safe and trusted person, parent, step
parent, I do think that that is important because to this day, I see the emotional turmoil
that my divorce created in Isaac to this day.
Can you explain like a little bit more in the ways that he was affected
through that process? And at one point, I remember right after you guys divorced,
did it Isaac kind of do stuff with Harvey for a period of time?
Yeah, there was a period where he would go with Harvey and that was just
something that we came up with on our own.
You know, for a time, I don't know if people remember this from the show or if it was even
showcase the way that it was in real life, but there was a significant period where, I mean,
Isaac was spending more time with hobby than he was with Joe because Joe did not have 50-50.
So he wasn't with Joe 50% of the time. And then when we split, that was really
hard on him. And I think that there was a lot of resentment in that for a period of time. And this
is no shade to Joe whatsoever. So please don't take it that way. He looked at Javier as a dad more
than Joe for that little period of time or that you know chunk of time. And so he was very resentful
of Lincoln because that was Lincoln's dad.
So he was Lincoln was going to get to go with hobby and I mean not for nothing.
Hobby is a very fun dad. He's very hands on. He's very active with the kids. He's very involved.
So those are some things that you know Joe didn't really get to do with Isaac.
And again no blame to anybody. Excuse me.
I think you have to look at the situation. It is no shade to
Joe because what you were doing with Havi at that time was you
had a nuclear family unit in that home. And Isaac kind of fell
in to that situation with you bring in Lincoln into the world,
Havi becoming a dad.
And so y'all were raising them together as brothers
in a mirrored home.
So when we split,
Isaac was really struggling with his relationship
with Lincoln and with Hobby because at the end of the day,
he did know that even though he looked to Hobby as a dad,
that wasn't his dad,
but Lincoln still got to go do all that stuff
and got to go be with hobbying, got to spend that real quality time.
And I hate saying it the way that I'm saying it
because it makes it sound like Joe didn't do anything.
And that's definitely not where I'm trying to go with this.
It was just a very different relationship.
And there's still to this day,
like now where Isaac is,
he doesn't even wanna see hobby.
Because I think it brings up so much, I'm gonna cry.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
You can cry, it's okay.
I just didn't expect this.
I don't, hold on.
You're okay.
It is sad because you're watching one of your children hurt
and long for something that they once had
that they no longer have.
So Isaac doesn't want to see Harvey now
because I think it still brings up unresolved,
not a band.
I don't think it's a band,
and I don't know what it is specifically,
but he doesn't
want to see Harvey because I think that he feels something like that. If it's not a, it
could be a band, and I don't know, because it wasn't like there was like a decision made
that like Isaac's never going to go with, you know, with Harvey again. It was just the way
that things worked out, you know, Harvey had a new family, and again, no, this is no shade
to him either. Like I don't want anyone to be mad at me for talking about this.
I'm just saying like this is something that is real. Like now after getting divorced, going through all of these things and getting to a place years and years and years later
with Hobby where we can be civil and cordial and we accept each other's new lives. It's really hard to see that Isaac is still struggling with it.
And so hindsight is 2020,
and I understand where that law in Georgia and some other states
would, it would make sense, and it does make sense.
And I don't think that a lot of people will realize that until it's too late.
Like, I can never take this trauma away from Isaac.
That's something that he's going to have to live with forever.
And it probably would be a very different situation,
how do you and Harvey not how to child together?
And then you guys got divorced, and you and Isaac kind
of moved on.
But it's almost like a trauma that Isaac regularly has to go through because he's seeing Lincoln do all of these things and he's no longer a part of that. So that is, in fact, a loss.
I agree. So I definitely think in certain situations this law makes complete sense. I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all. I don't think that it's best for all-step parents
or all-step children or anything like that,
but also taking a consideration certain things like
maybe a child or children don't have their biological father,
right?
And the step parent assumes that role willingly,
voluntarily, happily, and they get divorced,
essentially for their life, those lives, that is their dad.
So why wouldn't he have a right to the kids,
or if what if the biomum dies?
And the step parents still alive and willing
and able to take care of the children,
they should have a legal role or a legal ability
to continue raising the kids
or at the very least having a relationship with them.
I absolutely agree with you on this.
And as hard as it is to agree,
you have to take yourself out of the situation
and realize what's best for the kids.
And they're not choosing that situation.
And if you have made a decision to be with somebody
and involve
that person in your child's life and they've become an intricate part of your child's life,
why do your children need to become collateral damage in that situation because you guys couldn't
make it work. And chances are you've either already been through it of worse and they've already
dealt with the trauma from their parents splitting or their relationship not working out.
trauma from their parents splitting or their relationship not working out. And then there's a step here and involved, something happens. They've been exposed to that person, that person has willingly
and emotionally taken on that role. It is not fair for the child at that point or that other person
who has invested time time, and effort
that they don't have to do, it's not fair.
I agree, because also you have to consider
to, in some situations, again, I'm not speaking to everyone.
I just hate when people comment and they're like,
well, and then they give me an exception.
I understand there are exceptions to this,
but if you have a step parent who is very heavily involved
to the point where you are close to their family members,
their parents, their siblings, that you call them
and Uncle Grandma, their grandfather, whatever it is,
you know, those are also relationships
that you don't wanna break either.
You know, I know Isaac was so close to Harvey's mom.
And that's just, I mean, of course whenever they see each other,
you know, he says hi and hugging kids and whatever,
but like, you know, I just think other relate,
like his, Isaac, if people don't know, was baptized
and Hobbie's brother is his godfather
and Hobbie's sister cousin, which is a long story,
is his godmother.
I mean, those relationships are never gonna be like
what they were, you know?
And so that sucks.
Does Isaac still, you feel like he's still regularly
struggles emotionally with that situation?
With his godparents?
No, with hobby specifically.
Yes, I know he does, because anytime Lincoln's gonna get picked
up or dropped off, he's like, I don't wanna see Hobby.
Yeah.
But I don't think it's like a malice or like, I don't think it's necessarily resentment.
I think it's hurt and unresolved, because he's never had to have those conversations
with Hobby and so he can only go off of what he's seen and what he's heard and what, you
know, I don't know.
That's so sad and I definitely feel for Isaac and I wish the situation was different.
I think over time, you know, maybe they'll have a conversation or something because 13 is still young
to process some feelings. And also, I don't want to put something on a hobby that maybe is not even
on his radar, you know, like he doesn't know. Well, and you also have to consider, and I said this with Kristen on the Southern T
that kids in a divorce situation,
they are the collateral damage
because the adults move on from that situation.
So where hobby is, you know,
in something new and has a whole new family
and you're in something new
and you have a whole new family.
He might not realize because he's resolved it in his mind.
He's completely healed.
He's gone through the, you know,
the pain, the suffering, and the healing.
He's gone through it all because he's an adult. But kids don't go through it in the same way.
No, they don't. You have to be super careful and mindful of the children that that decision
affected. And that cannot be neglected. And maybe there should be a conversation that's had where both of them can be honest
and come to some type of mutual level of understanding and respect because that's not healthy for Isaac.
I don't want to say it's resentment, but at the same time, it probably is some form of resentment
and some form of abandonment, even though hobby is completely unaware.
And I don't think it was intentional either. Like I don't think that hobby was like, well
fuck everybody and I'm not going to have a relationship with that. I don't think it was
like that at all. Like I don't think it was something that he planned or anything like
that. He, hobby seems like the ultimate like dad's dad so I can't imagine him moving
like that for any reason. to make it more like a little bit more like a little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit
little bit more like a little bit little bit more like a little bit little bit more like a little bit but I saw it this morning. And this is kind of coming full circle in this episode.
Dying wife asked husband if she can have sex with her ex one last time.
A man claims his wife left him feeling ashamed and guilty as he struggles with whether or not
to grant one of her end of life wishes to have sex with her former partner. The story has sparked debate
across the internet with people taking sides on this moral quandary. Whether or not the tale
that which first appeared two years ago on Reddit has recently been revived in a subreddit,
it true seems of little consequence to those arguing with various comment forums. In fact,
it seems to be serving as kind of a modern periodable. So it says the quote from him, my wife has a terminal illness. She is
projected to live at most nine months. I'm of course destroyed. We've been
together for a decade. I don't remember life without her and I don't know what
I'm going to do when she's gone. I've been doing my best to make the last days
of her life food and grant her whatever wish that I can. The doctor say that she was likely to need a wheelchair
and four or five months, then by the eight months,
she will be bedridden for the last few weeks
if she doesn't decline faster.
Recently, she sat me down and told me
that one of the last things she wanted to do
was have sex with a previous partner of hers.
Of course, I was shocked and I asked
why the fuck she wants that.
So basically,
she thinks that her nose really say why the fuck she wants that. Yeah. Okay. She thinks that
her most physically compatible satisfying lover was him. She gave me a whole monologue
about how sex sometimes is just physical and how emotionally filling sex is with me.
But it was bullshit to get to
that point. So now I'm left with this. Deny my dying wife, a wish for my own ego or let her go
fucking other man who she feels was better. Honestly, I'm so pissed off and betrayed that she asked
this of me. I feel like I've been put in a position where I have to say yes because she's dying.
It's not funny. Is there's nothing about this?
This is not funny.
I agree with his feelings.
Like, he, this poor man was put in a position
that he literally essentially can't say no,
but like for her, why did she even ask?
At that point, you are about to die.
Just go fucking do it.
Wait, that's what some of the commenter said.
They were like, why did you bring this up Wait, that's what some of the commenter said. They were like,
Why did you bring this up?
Because now the last year of your entire life together,
as you all both know it,
he is never going to forget this.
So like, ever, ever.
Like, he's going to be traumatized probably for the rest of his life
and going into another marriage or relationship.
He's going to wonder if he was good enough
for the rest of his fucking life. So yeah, I understand you're fucking
dying. But what about this man who is like taking care of you for your last, until your
last dying breath? You could have just moved in silence and not said shit.
I mean, at this point, I'm like, get a vibrator. Like, but that's not she won't, like my nose is running. Why? Like, that would, like, I get it, you're dying.
But you, you could have just kept that,
you could have kept that to yourself.
But here's my question.
If you haven't been with this man for a decade
because you've been with your husband
that you're like emotionally connecting with
whenever you're having sex with him,
you haven't been with this other man a decade.
I'm just saying, he threw it down good
for you to remember that much.
Like on your deathbed, you remember how good
he threw it down that you want it that bad still?
I don't know.
I just think that that's an unreasonable dying wish.
And I think that that's, I mean,
even though I know you're being taken out,
like I just don't think that, I don't know.
I just don't be able to grant that language.
I don't think it's unreasonable,
because at the end of the day, she's human, right?
So, and I agree, I do think that some sex
is emotionally fulfilling and some of it is just physical.
I do agree with those things.
However, I don't think that that was something
that you needed to leave your husband with for the rest
of his life, because your life is gonna be over in a year. That's not fair.
Also makes me question how stable their marriage is on her part because if she's thinking about that on her deathbed, you can't tell me that she hasn't thought about doing that for 10 years for the last decade.
Yeah, I agree.
You know, I agree. I don't know.
Anybody do all of it. Any person who's listening to this, like, are you granting that dying wish
or are you saying hell no? Well, and like, how do you even grant that? Like, how do you even?
And they're like, yeah, I get well, because then you know when it's happening, you know,
no, that would make it even worse. She should have just did it. Like I know that sounds
fucked up because she should have cheated in her last in her last year, but I just feel like
that's something that she could have literally taken to her grave. Speaking of grave,
I'm surprised that this woman didn't die because if I slipped on a piece of prosciutto,
first of all, I hate prosciutto. First of all, I feel like we've talked about prosciutto before and I don't like it I thought you said you did. No, I don't like it. It's like I think it's because of the type of prosciutto
I had and might have been like not good because it was like slimy and gross like I didn't like it
Okay, well, I love prosciutto. It's my favorite
didn't like it. Okay, well, I love prosciutto. It's my favorite meat on like a charcuterie board. But this was from a
associated press. It says a woman says that she fractured her
ankle when she slipped on a piece of prosciutto. And now
she's doing, and this reminded me of like back in the 90s, I
feel like everybody sued McDonald's for slipping on catch up
packets. But like, they probably weren't doing that. They were
just like, sue him McDonald's so that they could sue
McDonald's. But like this woman somehow fractured her left ankle during a trip
to the Italian food and forum in Boston and she's blaming her injury on a piece
of ham. She said she was heading to an area where food samples were
distributed to customers and she slipped on a piece of prosciutto and fell.
She sustained bodily injuries and loss of enjoyment of life,
pain and suffering, and incurred necessary medical expenses
for medical care and attention, which was cited in the lawsuit.
Her medical expenses, including a hospital visit
and physical therapy, have resulted in more than $7,500
and bills.
And they're seeking a jury trial in at least $50,000
in damages.
The lawsuit claims that the place that they ate was
negligent and not properly cleaning the floor.
And they had a duty to ensure that the surface of the floors
were free from unnecessary dangers due to use of ordinary care
to maintain the promises of
reasonably safe condition and duty to warn of such dangerous conditions.
How do you warn of a piece of prosciutto? What if that fell off somebody's plate?
Did I ever tell you I sued a school because I succumbed in fell?
Yeah, I was very well aware at the whole process.
And yes, it is a permanent scar on his face because of it.
Our argument was, if you know some place is regularly,
this was my argument.
It needs to be kept up with during the duration of the day,
like frequently, or same thing for like a cafeteria, something like that.
I do feel like there needs to be cleaning done even during the time.
Listen, I would hate to be a business of any kind.
Like at this point,
because people are so lawsuit happy about anything.
Like my son busted his mouth open and has a scar.
Okay, well that, that situation
is better than this.
I think it's stitches.
Then this prosciutto slip.
Like first of all,
were you watching where you were walking
and do you see the prosciutto
Like that's my question. People also do it on in my opinion people
Look for stuff like that to see. Yeah, I just for me
It was my son. He like it wasn't just like a little cut on his lip like this. He needed
Stitches. He was at the hospital like he why was the floor wet? You know what I mean? I get that situation all together.
Pursuito though, like, I don't know.
That would be like a kid going into McDonald's
and using that ketchup squirter
and getting stuff everywhere
and somebody slipping on it.
Like were you watching where the fuck you were walking?
Like would that be, if they weren't,
would that be negligence?
Or would it be that you assume that wherever you're walking. Like, would that be, if they weren't, would that be negligence? Or would it be that you assume
that wherever you're walking is clean?
I'm not suing McDonald's because somebody dropped catch up
on the floor and my ass was so happy
that I was in there and slipped.
Like, no, I'm embarrassed as hell.
I'm gonna tell them that they probably need to clean it up
because now I'm harmed and probably broke a pinky toe
And I'm gonna go home and talk about it on coffee combos podcast and move on with my fucking day
But I'm definitely not suing over ketchup or a prosciutto slip
Like I
Depends on the damages are I might I mean $7,500 in medical bills.
Like I know how expensive medical bills are.
That's really not that much.
Well then just cover, but some people just sue to cover
the damp like literal bill.
You know what I mean?
And I think that's fair.
Like for me, I'm a big bitch.
So like I fall hard.
Like if I drop, I'm dropped, you know, like I'm breaking a hip.
I'm hurting something.
So like, no I'm serious. Like the, you know, like I'm breaking a hip, I'm hurting something. So like, no, I'm serious.
Like the bigger you are, the harder you fall.
Like I swear to God.
So for me, if that was me in this situation, like I'm not looking at, like same for Isaac.
Like I wasn't looking for them to like, I wasn't suing the school for a million dollars,
right?
Like it was, please, you know, it was negligent on your part that the floor was wet.
So can you please cover the hospital bills, which is what happened. So something for, like if I was to slip, you know, it was negligent on your part that the floor was wet, so can you please cover
the hospital bills, which is what happened.
So something for, like if I was to slip into McDonald's
or recatch up, please just pay my medical bills.
I'm not looking for a fucking payday, just like,
that's covered in medical.
I think people go wrong.
Like how much pain and suffering could you possibly have?
Like I'm not saying, I mean, if it's like an elderly person
or something like a protected class, like I get that, but like just regular Joe Schmomi,
33 year old suburban mom rolling in there
and slipping on catch-up pack or a piece of prosciutto,
like I don't really have that much pain in suffering
other than the fact that I'm just traumatized
that people saw it.
Right, I mean, I think for,
for Isaac, I should have got a payday
because he has a permanent scar. And it was in, like I think he, for Isaac, I should have got a payday because he has a permanent scar.
And it was in, like, I think he still had stitches for his picture day.
He should have got it. I mean, I wouldn't have touched it. It would have been for him, but
it just depends on that note foul play.
God, not, not, not, not no, we're moving the fuck on. Okay.
I hope someone can relate to my foul play because I'm so embarrassed till this day I've always been super sensitive to
birth control but was told that the new ver ring might be good for me after
having it in for a day I'm not sure if it was the ring or just in my head but I
felt really faint it got to the point where I was so weak in the knees I could
barely walk okay no that was not in your head that was real I started panicking
thinking I was having a reaction I called my mom on what to do
and she said I could pull it out immediately,
or I should pull it out immediately.
The only problem was that earlier in the day,
I got my nails done and they were extra long
and sharp acrylics.
I was so scared to try and fish it out with my new cloth.
So my mom suggested that I ask the brand new guy
had been dating if he could get it out of me.
This is me.
Okay. I didn't know what made me more mortified.
The fact that I had to ask him or the fact that my mom suggested still
panicking, I desperately asked him to help me and he literally had to
finger it out of me.
It was so far up there that it was a mission for him too.
I do give him credit.
He did try his best to make his sex.
He thankfully, I felt much better after and I'm scared of birth control forever.
Side note, I did end up getting pregnant by him shortly after, so maybe I should have
given birth control in other chance.
Okay.
I just want to say, I'm very weird about any foreign object, like being placed in my body
and before anybody comes to me and says, oh, well, you have breast implants.
Shut the fuck up.
Newvering or what's that other thing that you can get that they put in like the IUD or they have a next plan on that goes in your arm?
Yeah, no, like none of that is in fact happening because I don't trust
that. And I'm going to second you on. She, in fact, if she was weak in the knees,
she was simply not okay.
And to be perfectly honest,
before I ever let somebody finger a new ring out of me,
I would just go to the ER.
See, I actually never stuck my fingers inside of myself
until I was a full blown fucking adult.
I just didn't know that was a thing that you could do
or that people did and call me naive if you want, but just didn't know that was a thing that you could do or that people did, and call me naive if you want,
but I didn't know that was a thing.
So the first time I ever stuck my fingers inside my body,
I already had children, and I didn't know
what the fuck was going on.
Like, it felt very uncomfortable.
So I also understand this woman being more fine.
Like, I wouldn't have wanted to do that. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to do that.
I certainly wouldn't have wanted to do that.
And I just feel like this is an extreme medical issue,
probably, and I just don't know
that I'm gonna trust my man to try to like,
sex me up and finger me to get this thing out.
I mean, I feel like that would be the only way
to make it normal.
Like, if you've never done it before,
that's the only way that I feel like it would be okay.
Um, okay, next foul play.
Recently, I had one involving a period.
Let me be clear that I am absolutely fine
with people coming in me while on the periods,
but we require a certain level of hygiene.
Basically, you need to wear something
that will stop the blood flow during the service.
First of all, this person that's writing this, I love it.
A tampon, diva cup, etc. at the bare minimum.
Just come on a spotting day, not a heavy flow.
We also provide wet wipes to freshen up prior to the service.
A woman checks in and after she signs our form, she asks to use the bathroom.
That's very common.
As she walks past, I get a whiff of an
unpleasant smell, but I couldn't tell what it was. She exits the bathroom. I set up the service
room and let her get ready for the service. When I come back in, I open the door and a hot glass
of some stench hits me like a brick. Nope, I'm leaving work. This woman had by her own admission,
been walking around for eight hours on her period with a pad on. She had gone to the gym, run to miles, congrats for her, and then went to
the bank, grocery store, etc. while wearing this pad, menstruating people. You
know that smell when you sweat, bacteria and blood have been mixing and sitting
in heat for hours. It was like that, but so so strong. I obviously didn't say
anything and I proceeded like normal. I left the towel off her pubic area and this smell intensifies again poker face. We have
her butterfly her legs also super common. And she opens her legs wide and intensifies again.
I look and she hasn't bothered to wipe down there. There is blood smeared and crusted on her
bikini line and blood lining her labia. Oh my God. In the bathroom, she had taken her pad off, but it was too late.
The smell was set in her skin after hours of activity.
The stench was so bad, I was holding back
gagging and just started breathing through my mouth.
The string on the tampon she put in was coated in blood.
She hadn't even bothered to wipe down.
I covered her in a hefty serving of baby powder,
lavender scented cornstarch, and tried to nonchalantly clean it up as I went.
We got through it, and I hope I never see her again.
Okay.
This, this to me, is just completely inappropriate.
Like that, so disrespectful to another human being that's providing a service for you,
and where is the self-awareness?
Wait, hold on.
What is the service?
What was she getting?
A waxing.
Where does it say that? I didn't see that anywhere.
That's what she was doing. She was butterflying her legs.
This woman was in there going for a service.
She identified all the things that happened when you go in for a wax.
Yeah, I just didn't know if it was like a kind of collegeal,
kind of collegeal, kind of logical appointment or like,
I don't know what it was, but that is so foul.
Could you just imagine like being a,
I don't know like, what do they call them?
Just like a waxer?
An esthetician?
Esthetician waxer.
I don't know.
Just going into a room that smells so foul.
Like at what point can you stand up for yourself and say,
I literally cannot serve issue because the germs that are going on down there are not something that like I'm willing
to touch. I see. What point is it rude? I need to know what mental
illicit is that she had no self-awareness for this. None. Like how? Because that to me, I mean,
you're so delusional that you don't think that you need to shower
and or clean yourself up down there at all.
Like that has, I think depression, maybe she was depressed, maybe she hadn't, like, I
don't know.
Not that everybody can do this, but I try to schedule my waxing appointments where I know,
like in the morning, I will go to the gym and like run my errands and stuff
and I try to shower every two or three times
before my wax, just because I don't wanna go in there
like sweating and stuff.
Like that to me is just, you need to have some level
of self-awareness.
Like that would be like me going to get my eyelashes
lifted,
intended and not putting in a breath man. Like you're breathing on these people.
No, I literally the wax place that I used to go to here in Delaware is an hour
from my house, a European wax center. I would shower before my appointment.
And I would be so fucking upset because it would be an hour between the time
I shower, probably an hour and 15 by the time I actually like left my house, get to my appointment,
and I'm like, well, what if I've sweat down there? Like, what if I like, you know what I mean?
Like, I know that all girls have some level of discharge, like, what if I discharge or what if I
had sweat or what if I, you know, when I'm driving between the hour, it took me to shower and the hour and getting to the place like, that's how self conscious and self aware I was at those
appointments. Yes. I just, I can't understand, I can't understand this. It's so weird to
me how different people are just truly so different and how there can be such a variation
on the scale of like one extreme to the next.
I'm just telling you that if I was a waxer,
an esthetician and I saw that there was like blood
on a labia and like a bikini line, absolutely out.
Like the stench would have already taken me out
because I would have passed out.
Oh, I feel sorry for this esthetician.
Okay, I have an appointment that I have to go to, so I'm gonna hop, but if you guys have
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