Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Rolling In With None To Spare

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

CC286: Lindsie almost calls 911 on Kail but turns out she just slept in this morning. Lindsie is finding dating difficult this time around and might reconsider her position in only dating men with kids while Kail elaborates on her only wanting men with NO kids. While in New York for the Webby Awards, Kail has noticed a bad habit among one of her children - entitlement. She's not happy about her contribution to this and Lindsie shares a moment she had with Jackson regarding instant gratification.Listener questions include vacationing with young children and what to do with a step parent who might be overstepping the boundaries. Both Foul Plays teach us that maybe we shouldn't mix sex and alcohol... oof! Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthApartments: Visit Apartments.com, a place to find a placeIQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000Mood: For 20% off your first order and FREE gummies, go to hellomood.com and use code COFFEECONVOSStitch Fix: Sign up today at StitchFix.com/convos to get $20 off your first purchase

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Good morning, Coffee Convos. Good afternoon, Lindsey. It was supposed to be morning. I'm so sorry.

Good afternoon, Kale and Lowry. How are you? I'm so tired. I can't shake it. I literally cannot shake it. So I'm struggling today. I need to apologize to you and Kristen both, because I literally, Kristen told me days ago that I

needed to record this morning, and I just didn't think about it, completely slipped my mind. I overslept, and I'm sorry that I was late and left you guys hanging, because I was like, oh, I have nothing to do in the morning, so I can sleep in. And I was wrong. Just want to say, sleeping in by accident in general

is truly the worst feeling. I mean, I could probably think of worst feelings, but it's one of the worst feelings ever, because you always wake up in a state of, oh, fuck. I have missed half of the day, and you've probably, for me, sometimes it might be sleeping in nine minutes too late. For you, it's hours too late, but I just

feel absolutely chaotic. And then I'm trying to do stuff that I normally would do, like something as simple as putting toothpaste on a toothbrush. It's really hard. I didn't even wake up thinking that I overslept. It wasn't until I picked up my phone and looked at the amount of missed calls

that I had between a text from you, Kristen, Elijah, Natalie, and I was just like, oh, wow, like I completely dropped the ball here. And on top of it, I have a company dinner tonight. Knew I had the company dinner. Did not bring makeup or anything to be prepared for that dinner. So just mom brain in general is, within the last two days,

has been royally fucking me in the ass. Can I just say that we were, remember that time like long, long ago? You might not remember it, but when I said, I was going to call the police to your house. Yes. OK, and like Kristen was driving down the highway screaming at me, telling me don't call the police

that she's on the way. Yes. Because I was panicking. Yeah, I remember. I think Kristen and I both got in our heads that something like bad had happened to you. And we were like, OK, this might not be an oversleeping incident.

And of course, my psychotic ass, true crime loving ass, says, I think you need to call the front desk and request a wellness check if she has not touched base with us by her checkout time of that room. I am not supposed to check out today. Can you imagine, though, if they were knocking on your door and it was 9-1-1 knocking on your door? Well, what pissed me off, too, is that I didn't even think to.

Kaden came to my room this morning because Kaden and Natalie were here in New York with me. And Kaden came to my door at, I don't know, seven or nine or something and was looking for something. And I didn't even think to look at my phone at that time. And I feel like if I would have looked at my phone around when he came into the room, I would have also checked my calendar.

And I didn't. So it was just like a clusterfuck. And I'm glad that you guys didn't call the police. I'm glad you guys didn't do a wellness check. I'm fine. No, I was going to call Kristen if it reached noon. And there had been no sightings or rumblings of Kaylin Ray Lowry.

There was a wellness check happening. Yeah. Well, thank you for understanding. I apologize for my mom brain. How's it going? You went to the gym. You're a sweaty mess. What are your plans?

Well, when the day got completely fucking derailed, I told Kristen this morning, I was like, well, seems as if I'm doing things out of order today. So I went to the gym. I love how people talk about how much I go to the car wash. But I really just wanted to talk about that for a second. I have a car wash membership that I pay for. And I get every ounce of water that I pay for every single month.

I drive my car through that thing almost every single day. There's been a couple of times that it'll be on the weekend. And I'm just like, I don't have time to do that. But for most of the time, that is part of my daily routine. I like to go and get all of the nasty dust and rocks and shit that have been on my shoes off my floor mats. And just get all the dust that's collected on the console and all that off every day.

And so I'm really getting my money's worth. So I feel like no one should be upset about that. Went to the car wash. I told you about my Vivrelle membership. Because I also signed up for it under your link? I also signed up for it. I had to take my bag to exchange it. So I went and did that and made a nail appointment.

And then I went by Chick-fil-A to do my couple times a week little Chick-fil-A meal that I do with the kale salad and the chicken. And now I'm doing sriracha and one pack of buffalo sauce. But I used to do two packs of buffalo sauce. But honestly, that will burn your asshole. Yeah, that doesn't sriracha doesn't. I don't even know what that is. I'm not sure if I like that or not.

But it doesn't sound. It doesn't sound appetizing to me by any means. It's so good. I feel like, OK, Will doesn't really like sriracha that much. And it's weird because he's like a big hot sauce lover. Remember back when he was dating a lawyer girl and they told us in the kitty gang group chat that he went to Oak Steakhouse and like ordered hot sauce?

No, I don't remember. I don't remember that. And I was like, how foul. Like you go to a nice ass steakhouse and then you're out there ordering hot sauce like on a first date. Like you would be done for me. But big hot sauce lover and does not love sriracha.

I'm a big hot sauce lover not as much as he is. But like I love it. I love like spicy food in general. But sriracha, this one from Chick-fil-A is like a sweet and spicy kind of. So it's real good. And then like you add the little buffalo pack in there. And truly good.

But if you want to burn your asshole, do the two buffalo packs because it definitely will. OK, and this is in the kale salad. Yeah, this is in the kale salad spelled K-A-L-E, not K-A-I-L. I-L, right. And yeah, so I went there to get that and got fried nuggets instead of grilled, which I normally get grilled nuggets.

No one come for me for that either because if you tell me that it tastes like flubber, it just doesn't. So I'm tired of getting those messages. I'm tired of everybody messaging me, harassing me about the grilled chicken from Chick-fil-A and how it's rubbery and flubbery. It is. Did you also harass me about that?

Probably. I don't think they're good. I don't think there's anything good about them. But now I want Chick-fil-A, and I don't know if they have Chick-fil-A in the city. It was so good. And I also got a diet lemonade. Have you ever had lemonade from Chick-fil-A?

The what? The lemonade from Chick-fil-A? Yeah, I love the. And I also have had the half iced tea, half lemonade. That's called an Arnold Palmer. Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. I love Arnold, whoever feels I love him.

We love Arnold. Arnold Palmer, if you're listening to this, I love you. Is that a person? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think he was a golfer. And the diet lemonade is much better than the regular lemonade. If you need to be doing a taste test, I suggest you guys to do so, because you will back me on this.

So I got that. I told you about how my favorite summer drink is to go and get a large diet lemonade and bring it home and put vodka in it. Yeah, you did say that. I wonder if anyone's tried it since you said that. I don't know, but I hope that you all have, because it was a good time in your mouth if you did.

I kind of feel a little guilty, because I'm putting the liquor drink in the Lord's cup. Yeah. You know, it's kind of like, should I really be doing this? But he forgave me, so it's OK. Right, well, that's good. We love that. I love that.

But the reason that I got fried chicken was because I just have had quite a shitty week as well. And so I was trying to decide if this was going to be lazy combos, if this was going to be depressed combos, what was going on. I think it's a little bit of a combination of both. It could be combos, combos. Yes, yes.

Wait, do your kids call coffee combos, coffee combos? Yes. So does Jackson. And I'm like, bro, like. Get it right. It's combos. And it always has been. Like, stop making something up and stop promoting my business

wrong. He's trying. I'm just kidding. No, but yeah, just like not had the best week. And there's one reason for it. And I don't want to go into too much detail about it, because I've tried to keep certain things like private and feel the situation out for myself

before like really opening up about anything publicly. But I am starting to gain a better understanding of, remember way back when when I busted your chops about you saying that you don't want to date men with children. And I was like, how can you say that when you're bringing children to the table? Like, is that really fair for someone else? It's hard.

It's so funny, because when you said that you wanted to talk about this, I was like, we've talked about this before. We've talked about this so many times. So I was just like, I wonder what you were going to say. I can imagine it would be hard, because just think about being in an actual relationship with your child's father or just other parent in general.

And you guys in the relationship have two different parenting styles. And then you throw into the mix a divorce or separation or a breakup. And then you meet someone that has children. Imagine those parenting styles. And after how many years, you don't know how old the child is. So if the child is young or older,

and it's not just your parenting style and said person's parenting style, it's also their ex-partner's parenting style. And it's just a lot to bring to one household. And so I really think it's for special people, like people who really have it figured out. And I don't have it figured out. Coffee Convos podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.

All right, y'all. The weather is changing. We want to feel good. Lindsay and I have preached to you guys about therapy so many times. But therapy really can give you the tools to find more balance in your life. So you can keep supporting others

without leaving yourself behind. We cannot stress this enough. You have to fill your own cup before you can fill anybody else's. For me, I've been in therapy for a really long time, years now. And even if you're not going through something right now, you can still develop the tools for when you do hit a bump in the road in your life,

or life throws a curveball, you're able to kind of handle it better than you would have without therapy. It's interesting that you say that, because I was just having a conversation with Kristin last night about how everyone needs something from you. And you never really take a moment to think about what you need from yourself.

And when you spend all of your time giving it to someone else, it can leave you feeling stretched and thin and burnt out. And for those reasons alone, therapy is A1. It can give you the tools to find more balance in your life. So you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

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That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash coffee. Well, I just want to tell you about a quick podcast study here. As you know, by now, we all do our very best to align the right sponsors to the podcast. It's a lot of work behind the scenes, and I'm incredibly grateful for your support. We're currently running a quick survey at podcastsurvey.com,

and we're giving the first 150 people a $10 digital Amazon gift card as an incentive to complete the survey. The information that we hear from you about our sponsors is incredibly important to the show, and we can't thank you enough for taking a few minutes to help us out. Upon completion of the survey, you'll be asked to include your email address,

and we will send the first 150 people a $10 gift card from Amazon. Go to podcastingsurvey.com. And again, thank you for helping our show and our sponsors. I never really thought about this, and I don't know why it wasn't something that I thought about when I was growing up, because my dad came into his and Julie's marriage

with two children already. And she's five years younger than him. And so he was already like a young dad, right? 21 with me, 22 or 23 by the time Kyle came. And you got to consider, at one years old, she was five years younger than what he was then. So she was very young to be coming into a situation with a man with two children.

And I do think that it takes a special person to be able to go into a relationship open-minded to be able to love on other children as one, you would your own, but to be willing to take on all of the hardships that come along with taking on other people's children, let's say, if it's 50% of the time. Like you said, with two different households, I can only go off of my lived experience.

And my parents really only co-parented up until I was in fourth grade. And then it started taking a shift. But we would go between households, right? And it was a 50-split, I don't remember how they did it. If it was week on, week off, I can't remember way back then. And honestly, I think that actually, my therapist said that I have mentally blocked out

some of that stuff that would have been considered trauma, early childhood traumatic experience. I blocked out a lot of it so I can only go off of just the small bits and pieces that I actually do remember. But I would remember small things. And these are probably so minuscule, but people who are listening to this,

you'll either relate or you're going through it. And it feels so big at the time, probably. But looking back on it, it probably wasn't as big of a deal as what it was made to be. Like for getting lunch money, because nothing was consistent and there was no cohesiveness between the parents. So ultimately, the kids suffer, right? Because I had anxiety way back then.

Like I would get in the lunch line and be afraid that one of them forgot to put lunch money on my thing. Or making sure that I had tennis shoes for PE. Like there would be lots of days where my dad or Julie would have to drop off tennis shoes on the back of my mom's suburban. And we would go outside, barefooted,

get the shoes to go to school or vice versa. That gives me so much anxiety now. As a parent, because the lunch money thing and the gym clothes thing, because Isaac's at an age where he needs school clothes, gym clothes to change into. And it gives me so much anxiety. I have just made the executive decision

without even really talking to Javi or Chris or Joe about the lunch money thing. I just have it on autopay. And I am the one that does the lunch money thing. And I really don't ever ask them. I think in the beginning, I originally asked Javi one or two times to put money in the account. But I just completely forgot now it's on autopay.

Those things give me anxiety because I grew up always without lunch money. For elementary school, I had free lunch because I had a single mom who was not able bodied to some degree. And then in high school, my best friend Ariel paid for my lunch every single day. Nobody made sure I had lunch money.

So those things give me anxiety now. And I completely understand what you're saying. So I think about stuff back from my childhood and then getting into a situation with someone else, like you said, when there's a lot of differences there. You've got to consider those things when you would be considering a long-term situation. Because I do look at things very long-term.

If I'm putting myself and my son in a situation to be co-mingling with other people or another man and their children, I have to think of the long-term things. And do I want some of those bad things that could be coming from another household, imprinting someone on my son through other people's children? Yeah, and they will. Those types of things will imprint on your children,

both subconsciously and consciously. You know what I mean? Just like their friends. Even just their friends, they pick up each other's habits or lingo or, I mean, I've done it myself as an adult. You spend too much time with somebody and you start saying some of the words that they say or you say things how they say it.

And the same thing goes with our kids. And they're more impressionable as children. So it's kind of scary. I mean, you could just hope that the person coming into the relationship has a good, strong foundation in their parenting. Otherwise, you know, you can't really, you know, once you're set in your ways at a certain age,

I don't feel like you can change that. Whereas someone who does not have children will almost learn from you. I mean, I'm sure there are gonna be times and I've gone through it where like, they don't know what to do or they don't handle a situation greatly. Is greatly a word?

Greatly. Did I use it right? They don't handle a situation as I would or something like that. But then you can teach them how you handle things and you can kind of, it's almost like starting over with a, I don't know how to describe it.

Well, because people who aren't coming into a situation with the same thing that you have, I believe that they're probably a bit more coachable because they haven't experienced it on their own. Right. And then it can be more of a conversation when they start to develop their own techniques as parents, because they will.

It can be more of a conversation and what you're comfortable with them doing in raising your child. And for me at 33 years old, if I'm going to be investing in a relationship and investing in anyone who also is bringing children along into the situation, which I've told you before, like that was a plus for me.

Like somebody who had been married before, somebody who has children because there's a level of understanding there. But at the point that there's a level of understanding, but there's so many differences, what do you say is your deal breakers? Because I don't want to disrupt what I currently have going on

because Will and I weren't great always and we all know that. Everybody who's listening, you and I both know that. But I think it took that rockiness and both people putting our foot down and saying, okay, you know what, cut your bullshit. I'm going to cut my bullshit. The main thing here is Jackson

and us properly raising him and us being able to get along to do that. It took two of us to fuck to make him. So it needs to, it's going to take two of us to raise him. So we need to focus on that. And there have not been any issues, but I haven't met a man with children that has a dick big enough

that can fit in two women's pockets. No, absolutely not, absolutely not. Unless you're rolling in with nine inches, you don't have none to spare. So it's either in my pocket or it's not. Well, I think it needs to be, you have to decide that it's in your pocket because you can't, you can't know.

This isn't, yeah, this isn't, you're not Nick Cannon. You know what I mean? Outside of that, you know, it's also hard for someone who has a public following like you or like myself to even date because and even more so date someone with children because chances are, I'm sure there are some outliers, but chances are those children have a mother

that is involved in the situation. Right, yeah. Said mother is probably going to be opinionated about you being involved in the equation because you're a quick Google search. Well, that's what, it kind of, and that's almost scarier too because you know, the headlines in the media

doesn't always have a complete picture or a, you know, an accurate depiction of the situation. They only have whatever information they've picked up from, you know, Instagram or a source or whatever the case may be. And so that's almost discouraging as well because you don't know how true that stuff is. Well, and when you hear things,

and I'm just speaking from my lived experience again, when you hear things like porn star, prison parents, you know, problems with podcast content, problems with things posted on my Instagram, the list goes on and on. It's like, last time I checked, I didn't fuck you. Right, well, that's a fact. And last time I checked,

I was just fucking who you used to be fucking. Right. And if he still wanted to be fucking you, he would. Right. And since he's not, I don't think that you need to have an opinion on what I'm doing on my platforms that I've done for however many years.

I just, it's a lot. I really look up to my one cousin. She got divorced around the same time as I did. And I've talked about her before. She had two kids, married someone who also has two kids. And the way their family blended together, almost so seamless. And I don't think it was completely seamless,

but it was more so because of his ex being kind of like an asshole. They just, the kids and the parenting came together almost so seamlessly. And I just, it would be a world of a difference if all of us could do that, but it's just not realistic. You know what I mean? Like the lucky ones that have it figured out,

they get it together and they do it. But for us, for you and I, because you also have to add the element of being a public figure, like you just said. You add that into the mix and it's just, it's a shit show. Well, and do I believe, in my case, obviously, I'm gonna be with a man that would have an ex-wife or whatever ex-girlfriend who he had kids with,

whatever the situation may be. That person is going to have an opinion about me. I don't care about people's opinions about me, but at the point that you carry on and you carry on and you carry on and think that someone's hearing you more, you're actually just pissing people off more. Yeah, yeah, this is true. And like if you aren't jealous of me,

then stop talking about me. But also that's easier said than done, right? Because I mean, how long did it take me to get to a good point with Joe and V or to be in a really solid place with Javi and his partner again? Like it just, it sounds good, it sounds easy, it sounds like it's, but there's so many personal feelings

involved that you have to let go of. And sometimes it just takes a really long time to get there. Well, and then, you know, that brings me to my next point of if there's still personal feelings involved, then why are you guys in the situation that you're in and why are you involving other people in that situation? Well, let me play devil's advocate because I've been in a situation

where I agree with that statement a wholeheartedly. And then I've also been in a situation where the other person, one person in the situation has had feelings and the other person doesn't. And so the person that has the feelings makes it very difficult for the one that is trying to move on, you know what I mean? And I've been in both places, I would say.

But doesn't that require the person who doesn't have feelings to set proper boundaries? Correct, and I will say this again, I've said it time and time again, they need to be respectfully and clearly stated. And that is my biggest thing. And I'm so thankful to be in a place there with everybody that I have children with,

but it wasn't always that way. You don't have to be a dick, you don't have to be an asshole about it. I mean, to the point where you've said it respectfully and you've said it nicely and you try to be amicable and it doesn't work. But when they've never been clearly stated, they've never been respectfully stated,

you can't expect someone to read your mind and know what the boundaries are. For us, two out of three, email works really, really well and when we're respectfully having a conversation, it works really well. Well, and I understand, again, going back to the public figure statement that everyone is gonna say whatever they wanna say

and have the opinions that they're gonna have about you, whether they be true or whether they not. I'm not in the mind-changing business. Because I don't care what your mind says. So I'm not getting myself into that business because I'm not gonna get a paycheck from that. So... Because I'm not gonna get a paycheck from that.

I mean, that's one way to look at it. This episode is brought to you by iCubar. Now get 20% off every iCubar product plus free shipping when you text convos to $64,000. Kill, have you tried iCubar? Because if you have not, it is the snap that stays in my car, in my pantry, and in my mouth.

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I just don't understand having such strong opinions about an individual that you've never met. Explain a little bit. Like, I would never... It's kind of like you and I talked about, you know, someone going on Instagram and just making like foul comments about someone that they don't even know like their life situation or anything that's going on,

but they're just dedicating their time to hating that person. Oh, I mean, well, that's a mental illness. Like, I don't know what mental illness that is, but it's one. Like, it's something. That's really weird and it has to be a mental illness. But like, at the point that someone like stalks your every move

and knows more about what you're doing than what you are and is just so committed to hating you and have never met you, that to me is weird as fuck. It's so weird. Actually, I just got... It's so funny that you brought that up because I just got a message today on Twitter,

which I never checked Twitter really, but I got a DM and she was like, hey, so-and-so is posting about you again. And I was just like, I don't... I've never met this person in my life. And like, I get it. It sort of comes with the territory, but to the point that you remove yourself from TV and, you know, you make these necessary steps to grow

and mature and just like evolve, why are you still dedicated to hating me to the... Like, I just... I've never looked at a person that I've never met and been like, I hate their guts. I've just never done it. To me, it's those types of people are more dedicated to the negative behavior

than they are committed to positive growth. Yeah, I agree. And so that says everything about them and nothing about you. Yeah, agreed. I agree with that. And it's hard, you know. My parents told me my whole life,

take the high road. Take the high road. No, but... And I get that and sometimes it works, but also sometimes the fuck it doesn't. But who... Okay, and also, you know, when I first got into this business and people, you know, would say and have their opinions

about, you know, whatever they wanted to have their opinions about, I don't fucking know. Will would always say, take the high road. It's less traveled. Don't engage. Like, don't get in a ditty gritty with them. Like, it's going to be a forever back and forth. Just let it...

My name ain't no say. Like a duck, let it fall off your back or whatever the fuck she says. It's like, no, because I'm not a duck. And no, you don't get to tell me what the high road is. Like, is the high road me ignoring it? Whereas the high road, me finally addressing it, standing up for myself and what I know is right

and addressing it to put you in your place to let you know it's not your place to do what you're doing and you need to back off. That's a good point too. I never thought of it that way. Like what someone else thinks is the high road might not be what you think is the high road. It was kind of like a conversation that I was having

with somebody not too long ago about, you know, and then it kind of became became a heated conversation of you don't get to tell me what my mountain is or what my molehill is. Just like, I don't get to tell you what it is. Like if it's big to me, it's big to me. And if it's a little to you, it can remain little to you, but it being little to you does not diminish the fact

that it's big for me. Right. Agreed. I agree with that. I definitely agree. I hate when you get into like a relational dispute and one person is so committed to it not being a big deal that it's just a constant diminishing of how you feel.

And it's like, okay, well, you can stay committed to feeling like that. That's good and great for you. But last time I checked, I wasn't you. You don't get to make a decision on what is a big deal to me. Like this isn't a we decision. Like this is how I feel and this is how you feel. And I am definitely the type of person I have grown

through therapy to be okay with not reaching common ground and agreeing to disagree. Like I have learned to do that very successfully and putting things in the proper place where they belong. Agreed. I mean, setting boundaries is hard enough and it's in it of itself, but that is one of what you got to set boundaries to let people know that they don't get to dictate how you

feel about certain things. 1000% actually I saw this tick tock on boundaries and it says baby, let me tell you something nine times out of 10. When you set boundaries, you're going to disappoint somebody. You're going to offend somebody because now you're taking your power back. You're not giving people access to you like they used to have. You're basically putting yourself first and putting everyone

else in line. It's just like you breaking bread to them. You cannot just come and take the whole loaf of bread. Now I have the bread. I'm going to give you how much bread I see fit to give you. That is when you are setting boundaries. You have to be so confident in those boundaries that you have to make a decision that you aren't making concessions for

anybody. So I have a quick question about this and I was thinking about it on the way here completely. I was thinking about it unrelated to this, but it fits. When two friends, I'll use you and I as an example just because we're here having this conversation. What if we are having two separate boundaries that conflict? Then what do we do with our friendship?

Because we both want each other to abide by our boundaries, but what do we do when they don't work for each other? Do you get what I'm saying? Well, I think at that point, I wish I had an example, but I think that it's a point of if the boundaries are so set and no person is willing to meet in the middle and I'm not saying to completely neglect the boundary, but to meet to the point of a level of understanding.

Then obviously the friendship doesn't mean enough to you to do that. So I think at that point, then you have a hard line in the sand. They have a hard line in the sand and you go separate ways. And that's okay. And that is okay. Okay.

Okay. That's I mean, that's a really good. I think that's a really good example. You know, have boundaries, but if you value the friendship and they're conflicting, there maybe is a middle ground where you guys both have your boundaries respected, but you guys can make it work. It's kind of like a relationship and there has to be some

degree of compromise, but not necessarily compromising the boundaries. Maybe just how the relationship functions. Yeah, I agree. It's like I was explaining to somebody literally last night that somebody else's lack of boundary setting doesn't get to become a nuisance online. So if I have a boundary and I say this is my boundary and what

that person is doing, whether they are directly, you know, involved in my life or not at the point that what they're doing is impacting my life and my ability to be able to function in this situation that I'm in, then that doesn't get to become my problem. That doesn't get to become my burden. Right. It's kind of like somebody else's emergency doesn't constitute

as one online. Um, when you told me that for the first time, I have used that time and time again because I could not tell you how frustrating it was and I was guilty at the time when you said that to me. I was guilty of, of I guess acting like that. Um, and not necessarily towards you, but just like in general, I'd be like, well, I fucked up. So now it's an emergency for everybody else.

Um, once I got, you know, I had a reality check. I was like, oh, yeah, no, this is not how this works and I would use it towards MTV. I would use it towards my kids. I would, it was just like, it's, it's a staple in your life and that's how people should really operate in my opinion. I mean, it's an emergency on your part doesn't constitute as one online.

I literally tell that to everybody and people would say, Oh, if you say that to your parents, that's disrespectful. No, because you should also have boundaries within your relationships with your family. Like because it became emergent on your part doesn't mean that it became emergency on my part because my calendar was already set and at the point that you decided that you thought you were going to shift shit around, I didn't

cosine that. So like, no, that's not actually what's going to happen. That's one of my favorites. And two, another one of my favorites is power in the pause. Like sometimes you just need to take a step back kind of like I did yesterday. I was kind of going through my emotions on some stuff and I

did all of the obligations that I needed to do and took care of business, went to the gym, came home, showered and got my ass in the bed and like, that's okay. And I have learned that sometimes I operate better. I fully believe I operate well under stressful situations because I am able to pivot, but I don't like chaos. So that's what's really hard. Um, but I've also learned that sometimes when I get in like

stressful moments or like I'm sad and I don't know how to deal with my emotions, I will try to put myself into overdrive to feel like I'm accomplishing all of these things and then I reach a level of burnout. So yesterday I just put myself in the bed. Sometimes you need that sometimes if you, you know, you just need a minute. You need to take a beat and and just have a day to yourself

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your order and free gummies. I need to talk to you about while I've been here. So I did bring my kids with me to the event the other day and one of my children, I don't want to give up his identity but I'm sure you all can figure it out on your own. He has this level of entitlement and I have some, I have some regrets here because I participated in these entitlement behaviors, you know,

I grew up very poor, didn't have parents. I wanted for a lot, I needed for a lot and I just didn't have those resources, right? So when I had kids of my own and I was able to financially and emotionally be there for my kids in a different way than I had growing up, I subconsciously contributed to the madness, okay? And so we get to New York and obviously in New York,

there's tons of stores, there's sneaker stores, there's shoe stores, we went to Zorro, we went to all these places. This sense of entitlement of wanting what said child wants and wants it right now, I had to tell him that this trip was not about him. He's not getting anything while we're here because you have everything that you want and need and the only reason

why you want something is because we're, it's right here, it's like the instant gratification thing. And it did hurt me to say no because I do have the funds to get him the things that he wanted, but he didn't need them and the sense of entitlement and the demanding almost of wanting to go to these stores infuriated me. I can very much relate, empathize and sympathize

with this situation because and I want you to share if you feel like you did a little bit of this through, you know, various separations and then the divorce. Do you feel like because you feel guilty and embarrassed to some degree for not having a two-parent home with the dads? Do you feel like that you overcompensated in some ways by purchasing ability to try to offset some of that failure? I don't think it's that for me.

I hear what you're saying and I definitely think if you've experienced any of that, I could see, but because I've been through so many failed relationships, I don't think it was that for me. I think it's more where I came from and how I grew up that I was, I'm overcompensating like I'm basically living through my children by buying them all these things and getting them all these things and they've earned nothing.

So it's interesting that you say that because I feel like mine and your spending habits are probably very different. You have a lot more to spend on though. So like you can't really compare us because I have one. So like my funds aren't being split between multiples if that makes sense. Right, right, right. So what I am probably able to do for him singularly,

it probably seems like way less to me than what you're having to do for as many as you have. I do feel like a lot of it has to do with your upbringing to be honest. I think that it goes back to that same conversation that you and I had. I don't know if it was last week or the week before, but you and I were having the conversation

of overcompensating as mothers when you're trying to do what you didn't have and you're trying to be the mother that you didn't grow up with. I think a lot of it goes into the financial situation as well. I never really wanted for anything. And so I don't live my life feeling like I have to have

everything because I've never wanted for anything and I'm blessed to be able to say that I was never in a situation to want for something because even when my parents didn't have it, my grandparents made sure we did. It just kind of irritates me though because it's simple things that I just didn't think of like clothes, shoes.

I don't even know how to describe this, right? Like it's their necessities. You would think they're necessities, right? But it's almost like the more you give, the more that is expected. And so you set that tone of, okay, I've done this and now I have created a sneaker head. So now it's every drop of whatever they have to have.

I think that you have to scale it back simply, one, not be so hard on yourself because as parents, we're probably all guilty to this or of this to an extent or have had experience, whether it be through your childhood or through you raising your children. I think that you have to use this as a teaching moment for your children and let them know, okay,

there's a difference between wants, desires and needs. Well, and I was nice to them, all the kids really. I was just like, you know, respectfully, this is not, this isn't about you. We're not going to go get these things. You don't need them. You don't have, you didn't earn them. You know what I mean?

And it sucked. It hurt me to say that because I just felt like I, like I told you before I have the means to do it, but it just wasn't, it wasn't the time. And I just, it hurt me to do that, but. Well, and how do you teach your children in a society that they're growing up in, which is a lot different in the way that we grew up

because we didn't really have access to the web and the way that they do, which has created this consumer habit of when I want it, I can, it's, it's the Amazon mentality. I want it so I can have it tomorrow because it's prime. Right, right. 100%.

And it's, it's that instant gratification that so many of us look for. You know, you think about like the Instacarts and Uber Eats and you know, all the things that, that they have access to now or we as a society have access to and wonder why children are the way that they are because they're allowed or they're feeding into that

because the parents aren't drawing a line there to say, okay, well, if you want this, then this is, this is, you need to make a list of your wants desires and needs. If that remains on the list and you have earned it, then at that point we have a conversation about getting it. Okay, that's a good idea. That's fair. And I feel like it teaches them responsibility.

Like when you told me that you, you write things down from Amazon weekly and then on Friday, if you still want it, you'll get it. I just like completely just try not to order off Amazon anymore. Like because I was, it was to the point where I was ordering every single day. And so I was kind of falling into that as well. And so I was like, I need to set a better example myself.

It's hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. It's hard when it's set up to basically get what you want when you want it. It's really hard. I actually have an example of what happened this weekend on Mother's Day.

Jackson has been asking for this iPad 10 for a really long time, like a really long time. And iPads aren't cheap. And they're not. Not only are iPads not cheap, you know, you get into the accessory game. So then it's like, you know, the case, the screen protector, the Apple pin, the, you know, and I'm like, first of all, who do you think you are?

Steve Jobs? Like what is going on? First of all, secondly, Will was like, you know, Jackson, you need to earn this. And I told him, I was like, you need to make a list on why you want this Apple tablet versus the Amazon one that was bought for you last summer. Like what is the difference?

What is why is the Amazon one that's practically brand new? Not good enough. And he went and did research and gave me a list of all of the reasons why he wanted the iPad versus the Amazon tablet, the various different apps that like you can't get on Android and, you know, like all these other things. And I was like, you know, if you're willing to help out and you're willing to do what you're supposed to do and you have good

behavior and you focus on your grades and you do all of these things, then you don't have a problem getting an iPad. But, you know, from this point forward, we need to have these conversations before I start purchasing an Amazon tablet just a year ago. And now you want an iPad because that's not how this works. He's been asking to upgrade his phone. He got a phone when Will and I divorced. So two years ago, it'll be two years ago in July.

And I told him I was like half the time you don't even have your phone. First of all, secondly, there's nothing wrong with your phone. You still have the same phone that I have. So why would our kids need to upgrade their phones before we do? Like that doesn't make sense. I don't, where do they get? I guess I don't know. I don't know.

And I come out of the Apple store on Mother's Day and I'm like, wait, something about this is not right. Like I am purchasing an iPad and I text Will and I was like, listen, sweetie, I bought the iPad and the Apple pin. So I'm going to need you to go on Amazon and Amazon a case and a screen protector because this is not being open until those two things are on it. And also, thanks for nothing. Thanks for nothing.

He's like, well, I didn't agree to that purchase. So like I'm not, I'm not agreeing to pay for it. And it kind of made me think of that conversation of like the 50-50 expenses that we had. Right, right, right. You know, and I'm in agreement with Will. Like I'm the one who signed my name to that check. Like he never, he never showed up.

He, he point blank said, I'm not purchasing an iPad. So at that point that I went to the store and I decided to swipe my card for that, that became a me problem. That's it. Just like that. Just like that, man. So I do think, I think that maybe a conversation about wants, needs and desires, making list of things that we want instead of impulsively going to the store,

pulling something off of a shelf because we see it and we like it. We've tried really hard with that, with Jackson actually. Do you know that I used to have a toy budget in my budget? No, but that's kind of amazing. Well, it was funny because when Kristen was, you know, being the ultimate budgeter that she is, she was like, so like, how much should we put in here for toys because like that's something that Kale doesn't really like buy a lot of, but you do.

And I'm like, at the point that like toys become a budgetable item. I'm doing too much. So we need to change our target habits, which don't we all like, I don't go to target. I like, I love target, but I, I, it's kind of far from my house. So I just don't go anymore. But yeah, agreed. Like at the point that, you know, extra outside of the necessities of like clothes

and shoes at my house and like toys at your house become part of the budget. That's when we, that's when we have to like really look at this. Yeah. Like you have to dial it back. And so that's when I started having conversations with Jackson about like, we're not just going to look at the target toy, toy aisle to be like the American consumer. Oh, I see it.

I wanted to get it. Like we're not going to do that. Um, but for anybody who is listening to this, if you have little girls, I just went to target actually go to target all the time, like multiple times a week. Um, but I was perusing through the close stuff for summer and the amount of outfits and options that they have for girls compared to the little like small section of boy stuff is insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. I went into Zara right here on the corner in New York. They had a lot of really good options for boys and I just couldn't believe it because we don't have a Zara within an hour of us, um, in Delaware. So I was like, this is really nice. I didn't, I didn't buy anything, but, um, target absolutely does not have that many options at all.

Um, yeah, but they have like a really, really good selection of like summer girl stuff right now. And I'm like to have a girl like the clothing would be a big problem. That would be another conversation about budgeting items that I would need to have with Kristen. Let me tell you the other day, you know, Isaac's 13 and I don't know, we were at a birthday party and I see him walking in front of me and I'm like, his pants are a little short. You know what I mean? He just hit that growth spurt.

Um, so I just went online. I went on his stitch fix profile. I adjusted his sizes so that we would get, you know, sizes that fit him better and I did the monthly option for him just because he is getting older. He needs some things that fit him and it just feels so good to have the legwork taken out of this. He got his fix in the mail. I think there was only two things that weren't really his style.

He kept the rest, sent the other ones back and what is the game changer for me is the return label that is included so that you can return the items that you don't want because I'm, I'm horrible at returning things. If it doesn't come with a return label, I'm probably not returning it. You and everybody else who's probably listening to this, if you guys have not heard of stitch fix, stitch fix is the best way to discover new styles and brands that are just for you. You guys can think of stitch fix as your style partner. Your stylist will learn about your taste and collaborate with you on looks that you'll

love. All you have to do is just answer a few questions about where you typically like to shop, what you like to wear and your price range and with your choices in mind and with a wide range of sizes available. They'll find your perfect fit. They've got you covered with over a thousand brands and styles. You can try your pieces at home like Kale was talking about before you buy, you keep what you love, you send back the rest plus shipping returns and exchanges are always free.

No subscription required. So you can do the option where you get it monthly like Kale was talking about, or you can just simply order a refresh as needed, set it and forget it with regular seasonal fixes. You're in control and right now stitch fix is offering our listeners $20 off their first fix at stitchfix.com slash combos that stitchfix.com slash combos for $20 off today stitchfix.com slash combos. Do you fantasize about who you'd be if you lived somewhere different?

Maybe you'd surf if you lived by the ocean or if you lived by a coffee shop, maybe you'd finally write that novel. If you had a dishwasher, maybe you'd actually cook a proper dinner at home with over one million available units for rent on apartments.com. The U-abilities are endless and with instant alerts, you'll never miss out on seeing what could be your new perfect place. Visit apartments.com, the place to find a place. Outside of that, I wanted to tell you about this other TikTok that I saw and I want to

know if you might not feel comfortable answering this, but it was about at what age can children be left home alone and this was like a Georgia TikToker and I'll share these TikToks that I'm talking about on Instagram, but it says in Georgia, there's no particular law that says at this age, children can't be left home alone. However, DFACS, which is our version of Child Protective Services, says that children between the ages of nine and 12 can be left home alone approximately for two hours. Children ages 13 and older can be left home alone and if they are responsible enough, they can be the children who babysit beginning at the age of 13.

I think this really is one of those things that depends on the maturity of the child and do they have access to a phone and communication, should there be an emergency, is there an emergency plan in place, do you have neighbors they can go to, etc., etc. Because this is one of those things where there are kids who might be 13 years old who get left home, they're told not to use the stove and they've used the stove and then the house burns down. Or there's a child who's the same age somewhere else who is fully capable of working the stove, knowing how to use the stove and can babysit.

You know what I mean? It just depends on the circumstances. I don't know. I've never looked at Delaware's laws on this. I think it truly depends on the maturity of the child. I can only remember growing up. I was in fourth grade and my parents started like they would go and look at real estate and stuff and would leave me home for like a couple of hours by myself in fourth grade.

How old are you in fourth grade? Lincoln's nine going to be 10. Lincoln's 10. He's going into fourth grade. He'll be 10. So I must have been around like right that age, maybe like on the lower end of that range. And then by fifth grade, I was keeping Chase and Savannah at home. I was helping Savannah put on her days of the week panties.

I was doing all the shit. I was fixing fruit rollups. I was like doing all the stuff, but I was mature and always have been a very mature child that was trustworthy. I think a lot of it has to do with the trust of your child too. Do you trust them to do simple functions in the house? If you do not, they should not be left home alone. At this point, I would leave Jackson home to go check the mail.

If I'm walking in my neighborhood, I would leave him home because I'm still in the neighborhood if he's playing his game, but he knows like you're not to go into the kitchen. You're not supposed to open like any silverware drawers. He doesn't even know how to turn on the stove. So like that's not even anything. I'm just like, don't go anywhere near anything that is dangerous and actually just don't come down the stairs because you have a bathroom upstairs and your hangout room is upstairs. So I'm not trying to come home and feel like you need a life alert because you tripped

down the stairs and I wasn't here to help. Oh, I didn't even think about the stairs. That's a good point. You know, I'm so paranoid about stuff like that, but outside of that, if it requires me to get in my car to go somewhere, I'm not leaving my child at home alone at his age. As a rising fourth grader, I know my parents did with me, but I just don't feel like he is ready for that. If I'm gone for like 30 minutes on a walk, my phone or my watch starts blowing up, mom,

where are you? How far away are you? When are you going to be home? And I'm like, yeah, for those reasons alone, I'm not getting in the car. And as a single parent, it's scary because if something, let's say I got in my car and I pulled out of my neighborhood and I got in a car accident, God forbid, what would happen? Yeah.

Like he wouldn't know and you wouldn't be able to tell anyone. Yeah. Yeah. That's scary. That is really scary. So I'm like, yeah. I tend to, not saying in all cases, tend to mature a little bit slower than girls. So I could see you and I were left home at those ages and our boys maybe not ready for

that. Okay. We have two questions from our listeners. The first one, and I already know roughly about what your answer is going to be on this, is traveling with a one-year-old fun. I'm really itching for a vacation, but not sure it would feel like a vacation with a 15-month-old. I need honest opinions.

Don't do it. It's been so long since I've traveled with a one-year-old and I will say the first trip that we ever took Jackson on, I think that he was like six months old and I drove a little small Mercedes and that thing had the tiniest ass backseat and trunk that you have ever seen on a vehicle and it filled up the entire backseat and the trunk of all the shit that I thought that I needed to go on a beach trip with him, the bouncer, the pack and play, the, I don't know, saucer shit. I don't know.

I brought literally everything that I had because I didn't know what I would need or what I wouldn't need and maybe that's part of being like a first-time mom and maybe I wouldn't do those same things if I had another baby. It's kind of like the love's commercial, you know, like by the time you get to the next one, like you don't really care, but it is a lot of work to do it, but I don't know. I think that I would give the opposite advice of you. I think I would say do it because you're only going to be able to create these memories one time with this child.

So as chaotic as it may be, and I always say this as parents, when we take our children on vacation, you need a vacation from your vacation. So if it's any time you're bringing kids on a vacation, I feel like you are deserving of a vacation from your vacation with your children. Creed is about to be three this summer and I would say only now is it, I feel like a fun to watch, you know, them interact, you know, on a vacation. I've taken all my kids on vacations as small children. And now that I'm older, I'm like first of all, they're not going to remember.

First of all, I don't want to get up early to essentially just do the same things I'm going to do at home with a six month old in a tropical location or a, you know, a cabin location or whatever the case may be. If that's important to you and you want to do that and you don't mind then do it. I think it's, it really depends on how you feel. But for me, you know, I've done it and I just don't think for me, it's just not, it's not a fun time. And I really admire what, what I know about what I have heard about my ex-sister-in-law

with their two children. She kind of takes those babies everywhere and they don't let having small children stop them from anything that life throws their way. So if they want to strap those babies on them and go and do like a Sunday fun day or Saturday or, you know, whatever it is trip, like they pack up and go and I don't know that that's really necessarily my personality, but I admire it. Oh, a hundred percent. I admire that so much.

I also know someone like that. And I think when you do that on a regular basis, it's really good. But when you are talking about, you know, a trip once or twice a year, the kids aren't going to get used to that like they would if you're doing it every week, you know, going on a hike, going on a walk, getting strapped to, you know, mom, I strapped Lincoln to me very, very early on. And so he was used to it all the way up until after a year old. Lux on the other hand, I tried to introduce him to baby wearing when it was too late and

he hated it. So I think the more, you know, the earlier on you start it and the more regularly you do it makes sense. But if you, like I said, if you're talking about one or two times a year, just wait till they're older, it's not worth the headache. But you know, Lindsay, Lindsay and I are not very helpful here because we're giving you opposite opinion. I know.

And I'm like, I just, I just love like the little, I cherish, there's like these little beach photos of Jackson where his toes are still like in that phase where they're like curled and just like his rolls everywhere, like on his legs with just like sand in them. And I'm like, that's so cute. But if it's just not for you, it's just not for you and I think that you have to decide what works for your family and whatever works for your family is what works. Okay, next question. What would you do if a stepmom restricts your children from bringing their phone places

like car rides, store, et cetera, they limit their use when they're home. So it's hard to reach them when you wish to, but then text them the whole week when they are with me. I can say Will and I kind of had a little problem with the phone issue early on when he got it and he was going back and forth. Like Will's rules at his house were different than my rules at my house and the whole intention of purchasing the phone was so that Jackson never felt limited in communication with any family member.

So if he wanted to communicate with someone from my family, he had free reign to do so with me, free reign, Will, his parents, his aunt and uncles, like on that side. I wanted him to feel like his life didn't change by being restricted to when he's just over here. He can just have something to do with my family and when he's just over there, he can just have something to do with them. That is one decision that I do not regret doing and I think it was a very healthy decision, although I don't think that Jackson was really old enough to have a cell phone.

The life circumstance just changed that altogether, I think. I think that you have to get on the same page because as adults, you can't have two different... It's kind of like the things we were talking about chores. There's a certain set of chores over here, but then there's either no chores over here, so there's nothing that's consistent through that child's life. So I think creating a consistent schedule, if the stepmom's not allowing the phone over there, then you have to set boundaries at your house or somehow get on the same page to where it at least matches because that's not fair.

I agree. I would feel some type of way if any of my three situations, the stepmom or girlfriend, felt that they are in a place where they could limit my child's ability to communicate with me while I'm over there. That would be a boundary that would need to be set early on and I wouldn't stand for that. I don't think that, so from my perspective, my dad very much limited Julie's ability to be able to make any decisions when it came to me.

He trusted her enough to have me all the time, but wouldn't trust her enough to allow her to make decisions and everything had to be ran through him as a child. I feel like I missed out on a lot of aspects of that relationship with her had he allowed her to treat me like her own versus different. There would have never been a situation where she would have been trying to ever limit communication with my biological mother, but just in other situations, there was a restriction on that. I believe if two people are going to be together and live under the same roof and function as a family there, then I do think a stepmom has a place to have some say.

I think that where the stepmom doesn't have a place to have some say is when it comes to the communication with the mother. I know you probably disagree with that, but I have to put myself in the shoes of, I put myself in the shoes walking as Julie. Yeah. No, and I'm hearing you. I don't know how I feel about it. I can give you an example.

This will be an example. Can I go to the football game on Friday? I don't know, you have to ask your dad. Why do I need to ask my dad? Chase and Savannah asked you and you said yes. Why am I asking my dad? For that, I feel like. Why can't I just go?

If you already said yes to the other two kids, that should be a situation where she should have been able to say yes to you as well, because at the point that your dad is also agreeing that the two other ones can go, then why would he say no to you specifically? It was always, he made the decisions when it came to me, so don't make a decision when it comes to, because I was his child. Don't make decisions about my child. I think there's a fine line. So I agree with you to an extent and I hear what you're saying about, it made you feel

left out almost. And so things like the example that you just gave make sense to me. If she said yes to two children, obviously your dad was also on board, it should have been a yes for you. There are certain things that I would not want any of my situations, other parent or girlfriend to make decisions on. For example. Yeah, give me an example, because I might agree with you.

Lux's most recent haircut. He had his girlfriend or baby mama, whatever she is, cut the hair. I don't feel like he should have asked her specifically to cut it and I don't feel like she was in the right to cut my son's hair. And see, that's why I think you got to dial it all the way back down of the relationships between the parents should all be established and kosher so that we're not running into issues like this, because if the relationships were the way that they should be, you're not in love with Chris and Chris isn't in love with you, right?

Correct. So it didn't work out between y'all, but that doesn't mean that it can't work out with somebody else for you and somebody else for him. And that's okay. And you guys have probably reached that point. But there should be some level of comfort, comfortability for him to be able to reach out to you to say, hey, can so-and-so cut Lux or Chris hair because they need a haircut for her to feel comfortable enough as the mother of the children, or as the, I don't

know, she stepmom, whatever she is, to say to the mother of the children, hey, Chris asked me to cut their hair and I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine because I know that we've had issues about this in the past. Correct. And for example, another situation that I have, it was asked to me, can so-and-so post pictures because of said issues, right? And at the time I was like, I really, I don't want the pictures posted. Everybody respected that.

And so when they respected that and I felt like everybody was on the same page. At that point, I was like, now I am comfortable because you guys didn't go behind my back. You didn't make it something that it wasn't. And so I respected that. I respected the fact that it was asked, I was respected that it wasn't posted. And then to that point, I was like, okay, like, obviously you have enough respect for the situation, maybe not for me, maybe not for him, but for my child. And now moving forward, I'm okay with it.

And so- It's basically like an action of, I see you and I hear you without having to say it. Right. Right. And so it's just situations like that when it comes to stepparents. It's difficult. And I could say, you know, but something as permanent as cutting hair versus going to a football game, absolutely not.

You don't, you shouldn't even have, when the father of the child asked you or told you to do that, knowing the situation should have been like, I don't feel comfortable doing this. Not my monkey, not my circus, not getting involved. Exactly. Because I certainly would. Like if I knew that there was, you know, something going on in a situation that was before me with somebody that I was dating and there's a child involved and there's a

child involved, I would draw a hard line in the sand with my boyfriend or if he became my husband and say, that's not my place to get involved in that. And that's something that you guys need to remedy over there because you're causing me stress over here and I don't want to be involved in that. Right. I want to see you there. Hold heartedly. Foul play.

Foul play everybody. Hi ladies. A long time fan and listener to all the podcasts between the two of you and foul plays always cracked me up. But this one unfortunately happened to me. My husband and I recently spent the first night away from our one and a half year old and had ourselves a little date night while my mom babysat our daughter. After coming home from dinner, we decided to have some adult fun on some blankets on

our living room floor in front of the fireplace. Oh, that's cute. What a romantic little evening. This adult fun happened to include a small red vibrator. After we finished, I asked my husband if he picked the vibrator up, cleaned it and put it away. We both consumed a good amount of alcohol and drunkenly. He confirmed that he did that.

Spoiler alert. He did not. Somehow it rolled under our couch and we just didn't notice. Well, it was probably vibrating under there. Like it probably vibrated its way over there. Anyway. Oh my God. Fast forward.

But again, I'm questioning him because like why are you lying about this? Like she was saying he was drunk. Yeah, but like I don't, if you're that drunk, then you're too drunk to be using a vibrator. I mean, well, let's see where, let's see where this story goes. Fast forward a few days later, my mother-in-law came over during the day to visit with our daughter. I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband was at work, so it was just me, our daughter and my mother-in-law here.

I was in the kitchen making my daughter lunch when my mother-in-law comes in and says, I don't know what this is, but I found it under the couch. I didn't want the baby to get it. It was of course the red vibrator my husband claimed to have put away. As you can imagine, I'm completely traumatized and unsure if she claimed she didn't know what it was to save my feelings. Either way, hands down the most embarrassing moment of my life. We have not spoken about this since, but my husband sure was ripped a new one.

Love you ladies and the podcast. Thanks for reading my traumatic story. Hope to hear it on the podcast soon. She definitely knew what it was. But did she? Because she said I didn't want the baby to get it. Why wouldn't you assume it was like a dog toy? Or like a baby toy?

Oh yeah, you're right. She definitely knew. Do you think it was the flower? Or what do they call it? The rose. The rose. Yeah, it was probably the rose. Just because I'm thinking like red and just all the stuff that's popped off about the

rose and the kitty gang group chat, I'm like it was definitely the rose. But I feel like in front of the fireplace on the floor is kind of nice, so that was probably a good time. And I feel like people using vibrators and stuff is like common in sex capades. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Like I just spice it up somehow. Like I've just never done that.

Well you should try it. You should try it. You might like it. The next foul play says, hey ladies, love the podcast. I listen every week and to all your other podcasts also y'all rock. I've been meaning to send this in. My husband and I are in, sorry, my husband and I are one of the only couples in our friend group that own a home and live out in the middle of nowhere.

With that being said, we usually have all the parties at our house because we have a huge garage and then we can be as loud as we want. One night we were both drinking pretty heavily. I love that both of these stories are involving alcohol and I don't know where this is going to go. And listeners to all of our podcast and also just want to say who else would absolutely hate being the entertaining house all the time? That would piss me off.

But she's saying they could be as loud as they want and then do it in the garage. So maybe it's not so bad. It's not like you're like preparing inside the house. You know what I mean? Inside the house. For those reasons I'm still out. One night we were both drinking pretty heavily and kept sneaking away to go make out. I know middle school shit.

Well anyway, as the night went on we decided we were going to do the deed and come back to the party. We were in the middle of doggie style and he stops all of a sudden. I was very confused because before I could turn around, he threw up all over the back of my leg and all down the side of our bed. Nope. Oh no. I jumped up to clean it and I jumped up and cleaned myself off and went to get stuff to

clean the bed. All while he literally rolls onto the side of the bed and passes out. We woke up the next morning and I told him that we were what he did and he was so apologetic and embarrassed as he should. He said it must have been a motion, the motion of the ocean. He got seasick. But I told our friends that we were at the party and sorry, but I told our friends that we're at the party and we don't let him live it down.

Okay. Love you guys. Keep up the great work. So imagine leaving all your guests in the garage. Do they all just trickle out slowly or do they stay overnight? What happens? No. I feel like people just keep in situations like that.

It's like if people go missing, it's kind of like you've got your Irish good buyers. You've got people who might be trying to get in a quickie. You have people who might have passed out somewhere in various locations. If you're Kristen, you might be passed out in a field. There's just like a lot of stuff that could be going on when you get like a big group of adults together who are drinking in a garage that I feel like they would just have continued partying and then at the point that they never came back at that point, they kind of just like started, okay, we're going home, we're going home, we're going home until it was

just like cleaned out. And the only thing left to do was to clean the throw up off on the back of the bed or on the side of the bed. Correct. Ew. Ew. Throw up is so foul. There was a lot of motion in that ocean because the seasickness was happening.

Oh yeah. That would really make me sick as well. If someone ever threw up on me, I'm not talking due to five or six days. I need a, I need a several day break. Break. I need to gather my thoughts. I need to really decide what position that I'm going to be taking on this, don't want to be impulsive by thinking that it's okay, but it's really not.

So yeah, thank you to both of you who wrote in. Don't forget to write in to us and send us all of your foulest of foul plays. Thank you for listening to all of our collective shows. We really appreciate it and if you have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, you can follow us there. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can find us on any podcast app always first at podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

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