Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Skinny D is Slangin'

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

CC297: Kail has noticed some of her kids are having rough transition days and she wonders all the possible reasons. Lindsie doesn't know if the way she maneuvers her days with Jackson is the healthiest in the long run. Kail makes an unexpected discovery in her Facebook friend recommendations which Lindsie is all here for it. Is OnlyFans cheating? Kail and Lindsie give their reasons why it is. Lindsie also wants to know if she's the best her partner has ever.. Somehow that leads to Kail admitting to liking a CERTAIN kind of man.For Foul play - we ask again, why are kids out here ruining things?? Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000Pair Eyewear: Go to paireyewear.com/COFFEECONVOS for 15% off your first purchase

I hate gift-giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Hello. Good morning. Welcome back to Coffee Compost Podcast. How are we doing? I am coming to you live from the tropical island of Kaylin Lowry LLC office, and it is sitting at a cool 92 degrees inside this office. So I am in a sports bra. Listen, there is nothing worse to have AC that doesn't work in the summertime. That happened to Will and I like the summer before we went through our divorce. And when I tell you, we weren't in a good place anyway, but that probably really did us in.

Oh, the tensions were high. Yes. Irritability from being sticky and oh no. And we did not have a master on main. So all of our bedrooms were upstairs. So heat rises. Terrible. Jackson was like, remember that one time that you made dad sleep in the basement? And I was like, oh my God, you act like you have so much trauma. Like, no, it was not one time I made dad sleep in the basement. It was hot as hell. He was like an inferno.

And I was like, you've got to get out of this bed. Like, go sleep on the couches in the basement. Go put up an air mattress, something. Because two people that are radiating heat in the same bed with non-working AC, not the move. Absolutely not the move. with non-working AAC, not the move. Absolutely not the move. Actually last week, I don't know where I was, but I ran out of heat. My propane tank was empty. It was not me. I'm not blaming anyone because I don't know who it was. Somebody set my pool heater at a hundred degrees and it was like that for two weeks and it drained my propane. So

when I went to go take a shower, it was freezing cold. And I was like, this is not okay. Um, so then they, I had to do the emergency fill or whatever. So between my office and my house, like, are we thinking that the culprit of the house pool heater was one of your children? that the culprit of the house pool heater was one of your children oh 100 percent who it was they well it's either if I had well it's either Isaac or Lincoln um but they don't understand that it takes time when it heat like when you turn it on and so I think what happened was they were probably like excuse me it's not up. So then they put it up even more. And then I didn't know. So then they left to go to their dad's for the week. And then it was just chilling like that. But now we don't, I've turned it off because we don't even need it because it's so hot and the water's

so nice. Okay. I have to ask you this question. When I was growing up, my dad had a rule. No one touches the thermostat, but him, including my mom, because she will jack that shit all the way down and you'll feel like you're living in a tundra. And he wants it to be at like a musty 73, 72. In the summer? Oh, like all the time. Man stays cold. So we would just sneak up in the middle of the night. Like once we knew that

he was out, it was like, I'm cranking that shit down because that is not normal. Like something is actually wrong with you. And because something is wrong with you, the rest of us should not have to suffer. Right. Um, so I would crank it all the way down and he would raise mortal hell. When he woke up, he was like on a war path. when he saw that all the way cranked down he was like who put their fingers on here whoever did this and i find out i'm cutting them off lux will even fuck with my thermostat in the house i'm like no that's not a game it's literally not a game um speaking of kids fucking with stuff uh-huh it took me 10 minutes to unravel my headphones to get on this recording because I let someone, I'm not going to say the person because of all the children that I have.

I'm not going to say like who it was. Right. Not naming names. But I let this said person borrow these headphones on our way to the museum. And it literally looked like a rat's nest. So don't let your kids borrow your stuff. Never. No.

I went to go put blush on this morning and Biggie must have put – it was the ColourPop twist up like the creamy one. Yeah. He stuck his finger in it. And so when I opened it, it was like all like it looked hollow oh yeah so he put his whole thing and I'm just like like why what why like why do you go through our stuff like I feel like kids are the nosiest human beings ever and the most curious human beings ever Jackson gets it honestly because Will will go into his parents'

house and just immediately when he gets there, start going through all their shit. As an adult? As an adult. He'll start opening up drawers, touching stuff in the drawers that he hasn't seen before. He'll go to their lake house, do the same thing. Jackson, same thing. Like he wants to go through everything. I'm like, do not open another drawer. If you have no reason to be in it, you don't need to be snooping around in it. I think they call that a spirited child or a spirited person. Is that what it's called? Allegedly. And that's what Natalie was telling me about her niece and that's how her niece was. And then they said somebody told them it was like a spirited child. Cause she would get into everything. Oh, like from, I was talking to Kristen this morning on my way home, because of course

everybody, I don't know if everybody vacated Atlanta and then just came back within like the last week and a half. But when I tell you the traffic has just been insane and it never fails when you have somewhere that you need to be at a set time, every single time I not only ran into, I'm sitting on the phone with Kristen, like going over stuff and it's like hazard reported ahead. And I'm like, of course, because there would always need to be a hazard reported ahead. That makes sense as to why I was just sitting in all this traffic. And also it would make sense since I have somewhere that I actually need to be, that there would be a hazard. So get past the hazard, get on this back road. It's a like cars going one way, cars going the other way. So like a two lane

road, a construction worker, they're just deciding to do construction before 10 o'clock on a weekday, just out there with a stop sign, like holding it up. And I'm like, oh, okay. Because I have, I have all the time to be delayed. Like, this is really good for me. As much as I would hate for people to like have to do night shift when they don't need to, I do feel like things like that, both for the workers and for the people on the road, it's too hot for them to be working right now in the middle of the day, number one. And number two, for people that have to have to be to and from work and camps camps and schools and you know whatever else during the day i do feel like that is more of like a nighttime thing i say all the time whoever is in charge of

the department of transportation like i am a non-violent person but that office should be bombed because they make no fucking sense when i said that about the social security office last week kristin told me i can't say that so we can't so we can't say that but i'm serious like department of transportation like they're what are they doing in there they're like oh yeah let's put these workers out in the middle of the road at 105 degrees heat index um let them be in long sleeve shirts and pants and a vest and all these other fuckers trying to go to work camp whatever trying to get doctor's appointments because they should be held up too or we could have these workers doing night shift.

Where there's a little traffic on the road. And they're not going to have to be inconvenienced. By holding up a stop sign. For how. Eight hour shift. Like. Right. I mean.

I don't know how it works. But. They need to get it together. If anyone's listening to this. And you are head of department of transportation. Can you tell us. Like. Why you make the decisions that you make?

Like, I'm not really – yes, I am questioning your decisions. I was going to try to be nice and be like, I'm not questioning your decisions, but yes. We are. I need to ask you, do all your kids have TVs in their bedrooms? Yes, but they don't have – currently, none of them have their gaming systems or anything, so they can't be used right now. But do they watch, like, Netflix? No, they don't have, because they can only watch that stuff, like, through Xbox or PlayStation. You don't have to have a gaming system to watch Netflix.

You don't? No, don't you have, do you have, like, smart TVs? Yeah. Or are they dinosaurs? No, they're smart TVs, but yeah, you just download the app on the smart TV. Oh, well then we're all dumb because they all have TVs on their walls, except for Creed. Um, but nobody uses them because I took all their gaming systems away. And I think that we just all assume, I mean, no, like I haven't, I just have smart TVs in this house

and only have a gaming somebody's knocking on my door huh hello hold on just a second hold on what is going on hey kail in the meantime while you were i don't know what you were doing you were arguing with the air conditioner man no that was my landlord doing. You were arguing with the air conditioner man. No, that was my landlord. Well, while you were arguing with said landlord, Kristen comes on here on producer mode. And I said, is Kale dumb? Her TVs, you can download the apps. Am I not right?

And she goes, yeah, but I don't know if Kale has smart TVs or dumb TVs. I'm pretty sure they're smart TVs, but I don't think my children or myself realized that you could do it without gaming systems because Isaac's been downstairs all week watching TV and I'm like, God, it wasn't normal. No, you're like, go away. Like why are you posted up in the living room watching TV? Because that's where I need to be watching TV.

I just didn't. Why did I think that you could? I don't know. I guess I just, I don't know. Every smart TV, I'm pretty sure. And anyone correct me that's listening to this. Every smart TV has like an app store and you go in there and you download the apps on your smart TV, like Netflix, Disney plus max Max. Yeah, all of that. But anyway,

moving on from that, right before, I feel like a traumatized person this morning, like sitting in the traffic and then Will calls multiple times and he and Jackson are fighting since yesterday when he picked him up. And I like oh that's good and I said he was he was good now yes is he grounded right now yes but he was good the entire time that I had him because I had him on a five-day stretch and I was like I didn't have any problems with him and they're sitting there arguing going back and forth putting on mute. So I can't hear certain things that they're saying, taking me off mute. And I'm thinking I've been hung up on. Um, it's, it's crazy. And I just was wondering if your kids have that transition period between like mom and dad's house, because I don't deal as much with the transitions when he comes to me, but will

deals with the transitions when he goes to him, the Will deals with the transitions when he goes to him. The older kids, not so much. Um, but the younger two, definitely there's a transition, um, one or two days transition. It's, it's not always easy. Um, and what are the things that like you deal with? Well, is it like bad behavior, crying so for lux isn't it's an adjustment um like the tempers are flared he doesn't have patience everything like very irritable um and then creed is just like more like a sleeping thing so i don't know what time like creed naps over there or if he even naps at all and And then, um, Creed is like clockwork when it comes to sleep. So he either, he sleeps anywhere from 12 to three or like one to three,

like in that window. I don't know what he does over there. And a lot of times he'll fall asleep in the car, which tells me that maybe he hasn't napped over there. And then that's a whole adjustment in and of itself. You know what I mean? So then it throws off the whole sleep schedule. So yeah, there's definitely, but Lux is more, and also Natalie and I were just talking about this the other day. I think Lux and Creed don't get a break from each other at all. Or if they do, it's very, very short lived. So they don't have what Isaac and Lincoln have where they get separated for a week essentially yeah and so lux and creed are constantly going at it like there's no fucking tomorrow because they're with me together they're with chris together um and i had a conversation

with his mom the other day and she was like you know they're not twins like they do need a break and i was like i agree with you like wholeheartedly agree with you um and there are days that like Lux will want to stay with Chris's mom but then Creed doesn't want to yeah but then it's like to go out of you know I wouldn't want to go out of the way like take both or nobody kind of thing but also when you look at the bigger picture the bigger picture you do want them to have some break um and so I think that also plays a part. So I can't really say, you know, definitively if it's from necessarily Chris's in general and the adjustment back, or if it's just from them being like, I don't know. I think that we all get tired of each other. I remember like growing up, I would just, you know, I was just like meant to be an

only child anyway, but, and I've said this a million times, but for some reason, my parents decided to do it four more times. Like that's a whole nother story. That's probably how Isaac feels. Yeah. Like I didn't get into any trouble. I behaved. I went to school.

I was pretty much like a perfectionist, did all the things that my parents wanted me to do. I was pretty much like a perfectionist, did all the things that my parents wanted me to do. And then because I wasn't perfect enough, they decided to fornicate at least four more times. No, it's not because you weren't good enough, but like statistically speaking, you are the epitome of the firstborn. Like you truly are the epitome. We're like my kids because Lincoln's the oldest at his dad's and the, and the technically a middle child with me. He has personality traits of both, but you are to a T birth child. Number one. Okay. But do you feel like you are to a T an only child? Yeah. I feel like you are to a T an only child. And it's funny because I was

talking to my nanny the other day and she was like, Jackson's not the typical only child. Like he is a good share. Um, he wants people, I do think through a personality trait of an only child is they, or a desire of an only child is they want people to play with all the time or like have a lot of play dates because they don't have a sibling at home, but he very much likes having this house with no sibling. I have met a lot of only children who loved it and I hated it. I hated it. Um, I I hate it I hated it um I absolutely hate I also had a really poor home life so I didn't have a good relationship with my parents and I think that does play a role

um I can't obviously I don't I'm not a sociologist or whatever the fuck whoever does these um I don't have only child syndrome um I'm not spoiled I mean mean, now I'm spoiled, but by my, like I spoil myself. Does that make sense? Yeah. But it said poor social skills. I definitely think that growing up, I had very poor social skills. And if it wasn't for the show, I don't think I would have the social skills that I have today. Why?

What were you like? I was very awkward. I, very shy. No confidence. I had absolutely no confidence. I still don't. I really struggle with the confidence piece. Um, based, uh, highly sensitive to criticism prior to the show. I think that, you know, if someone even told me like, Oh, I think you could have done this a little bit better and like was really nice about it, I would cry. Like very sensitive. Yeah.

See, Jackson doesn't rub me that way. No, at all. Like he's going to go toe to toe with you. He doesn't care what you say about him because he's going to tell you about you. So he doesn't really care. But he has you as a mom. So that place. He, he considers his parents, his best friend. And it's something that Will and I very much struggle with. We love that. He loves us so much and just wants to be with both of us. I was

telling one of my girlfriends, he's as equally a daddy's boy as he is a mama's boy. And I think it's because we just focused on him from the time that he was born. And now even more so because he's with Will and it's all about him and he's with me and it's all about him. And so he, we are truly like his best friends. And they were arguing this morning about how I was like, well, what are you guys going to do today? And Jackson was like, well, he's making me do stupid schoolwork and I don't like to do schoolwork. And Will's like, OK, well, we're trying to get transitioned back so that when it comes time to do schoolwork, that your teacher's not experiencing that you don't like to do schoolwork. He's like, and then I'm going to work.

And Jackson was like, work, you're going to work. You need to take me to do some fun stuff like the pool, like you could sit at the pool and we could go play basketball. And he was like, mom takes me to do all the fun stuff. And I was thinking about yesterday when Will came to pick Jackson and Georgia up, which that's funny in itself. Like at the point that you know that you are two psychopaths when you are switching your kid and your dog and your dog is taking her stuffy with her when she leaves and it's coming back when she comes back, you know, that like you have reached an all time high of psychosis. Um, but I was having a little bit of a hard time

yesterday because I took five days and pretty much focused solely on Jackson and like kept all of my chores to do whenever he left. And basically like my personal life stopped and it was just all about him all weekend long and so I very much struggle with and is that healthy like yes and no I do because what you're describing reminds me a lot of and if anyone's listening I'm not shit talking hobby so before y'all send this to him or whatever the case may be, um, what you're describing is a lot of what I feel happens with hobbies family with Lincoln, because when, when Lincoln is not there, it's solely his other child. And then when Lincoln, or when Lincoln is there, I think that there is a lot of focus on just hobby and Lincoln. And so for a long time, hobby, uh, not hobby Lincoln and I were struggling because I'm not the fun house.

I don't do as many fun things as, as hobby takes Lincoln to do. And I don't, you know, I don't do that. And part of me is like, I think to some degree it's healthy because, you know, he's getting that quality one-on-one time with, with hobby. And then he also has the time with his brother and whatever. But I do think that maybe in your situation too, like they need to be bored a little bit. Like they have to learn to be bored. And so, you know, when Will has to work and can't take him to the pool, that's like how Lincoln is at my house. You know, you have to, you have to figure out how to entertain yourself. We have basketball, we have a play set, we have a pool, you know, go outside, do run around. Um, but if

there's not any of that, like boredom and trying to figure out what to do, I do think that that leads to unfulfilled adults, you know? Yeah. I'm struggling with it because in the summertime, I feel like I don't want him to just sit in front of a video game and his brain be fried. So on Wednesday, he came to my house. I had to work on Wednesday and Thursday. And so before I even get beat up about this, I understand that I only have one child and it's okay if you need help. Like I don't have parents that live close. I don't have grandparents that live close. So if I'm going to get help, then I have to hire a babysitter or a nanny, you know? So I knew I had to work all day on Wednesday and there was a four hour window that I needed to be like at my computer. And so I just had his babysitter come for four hours and

take him out of the house to do stuff. And I do wonder if I'm creating a situation to where he always expects and like has to be doing something because Will, for example, he works a nine to five job. So, you know, when he goes to his house, now Jackson's used to coming to my house and he always has something to do. Like as soon as I got finished working on Wednesday, I took him to the basketball gym. And then on Thursday, we went and hung out with some of my friends and went to eat Mexican. On Friday, we did something. On Saturday, we went to the museum, went to the pool. On Sunday, same thing, went to the pool. And I think it's hard because when he goes over there,

he has to learn to pretty much entertain himself. Do you keep that up during the school year? Like are your weekends, like you're always doing something on the weekends? Yes. And that was a big, that was a big problem that Will and I had early on in divorce. He was like, you don't have to take him to do something every single weekend. And I feel like maybe other people who are divorced will understand this, but you're already losing 50% of your weekends. And so when I have him two weekends, what does it hurt me to take him to the arcade or to the movies or you know whatever like we did so many activities over the last five days and I'm planning to take him to go see the new Spider-Man movie um do y'all have movie theaters ours is called

movie tavern but it's where you can take them and do like dinner at the movie theater we don't have any type of like cool stuff like that at all. And I do this pretty regularly where I will finish up work and then try to book like a seven ish movie that will be around dinner time. And I'll have him go ahead and shower before we go. And he puts on one of those like character zip up onesies and his damn Crocs, which I got to tell you about Crocs characters, zip up onesies and um his damn crocs which i gotta tell you about crocs um characters zip up onesies and then we go and i order him dinner and he watches a movie and come home and go to bed that would be

i wish we had that i wish we had everything that you like even main event or sky zone is an hour drive um i think there's a movie theater like what you're describing my ex and I went one time but it was like an hour and a half or two hours away like it was far and then we ended up it was so far yeah and it's just like it's not worth it at that point no and Lincoln's dying to go to Topgolf and I'm like and I told him I would take him and I'm hoping

that Javi doesn't take him before I do because that's like I promised Lincoln I would do that but to fit it in with all my other kids you know and Isaac's not interested in that so I would do that, but to fit it in with all my other kids, you know, and Isaac's not interested in that. So I would have to figure out plans for him. But top golf is an hour to two hours away too. But also people that have multiple children, it gets so expensive too.

So I'm like, you can set up that same scenario at home. It's just, you're doing it at home. I like to go because it gets us out of the house and like we're doing something, but Will's very much like a homebody and he wants to do stuff like in his neighborhood. And Jackson's like, can we leave the neighborhood? Like, I just want to leave the neighborhood. Me and Javi, but flipped. Like Javi's the fun parent that will drive anywhere, do anything.

And I'm like, let's just stay in the area. um, do anything. And I'm like, let's just stay in the area. Um, and also just trying to find things that either all my kids like to do or making one on one time and making one on one time is a lot harder than you think. Oh. And with multiples, that would be, yeah. Cause for you and Jackson, I mean, you, you just set the, set the plan. Yeah. But there are certain things and, you know, I, I hate that it looks like I don't include Biggie in anything, but it's just his age. His age is so hard because he can't keep up with what the other kids are doing. Um, it's funny that you say that because I had a friend that we went to dinner the other night and she was like, I will never take him to another dinner.

Like we're in that phase of life that this is just not something that we're doing. Like we're not doing dinner reservations anymore. We're going to just eat at home because it is more work and stress than what the benefit is. Yeah. I don't, I can't, I could not tell you the last time we went out and sat at a restaurant. And in fact, I told Kristen, last time we went out and sat at a restaurant. And in fact, I told Kristen, we're going to join her and Myrtle this month. And I'm only bringing the big kids because it's just not fair that I have to slow down for the littles or, and we're only going for like two or three days. So it's literally like, but I just want to give them that time because it's so hard with the littles. I could not tell you the last time I sat in a restaurant with

my kids. And it's hard to, I would imagine when you have multiples, if you want to spend quality time with like one or two of them at a time and you're just at home and you haven't intentionally like planned something away, it never probably works out. That is a big thing too, for me. Like if it's not something that is planned away, I mean, it's almost impossible. Um, there's just so many moving parts. I did tell Isaac the other day, um, I follow a TikTok creator, her name's Gabby, and she took four, her and her husband took all four of their kids to New York for like, um, I don't know how many days it was, um, to do like the Museum of Ice Cream. And they did like a couple other things. And I said to Isaac, I would love to do that. But that would be something that I would want, you know, maybe Natalie to come with me to help me with the littles.

And then we could take turns. Yeah, so that I could pay attention to the big kids. And then she would have the littles. And then we could switch so that I could spend and everyone would get to do it. But that would take some serious planning. And I also, I personally am not going to go do that in the middle of the summertime. I'm going to wait until the fall. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. Now get 20% off every IQ Bar product plus free shipping when you text combos to 64,000. Let's

talk about IQ Bar. I was a little salty the other day because I saw one of my favorite flavors sitting on the coffee table. And I was like, I don't know who put that there. And I don't know who's planning on eating that. So I just kind of snuck it back and ate it. I just actually had that for breakfast. And I love that IQ bar is healthy, has functional ingredients for your body and your brain. Because let's be honest, my body and my brain need it. And I love that it fits every diet. Keto, paleo, vegan, gluten-free, all of them. And I sometimes have this in the morning when I'm running out the door.

Sometimes I have this after a workout or after I go to Pilates. Or sometimes just for that 3 p.m. slump preventer when I'm sitting at my computer bored out of my mind. I also love this for my kids because sometimes they just don't want to eat like a full meal. They're just in the moment. Maybe they're in the pool. They don't want to get out and sit down, but I know they're at least going to get really good ingredients and like quality snack. The peanut butter chip is Creed's favorite because you won't even believe how good this tastes, especially because they're like next to no sugar or net carbs, which is great for him. He already keeps me on my toes. I don't need the extra sugar. You know what I mean? So the IQ bar is the number one brain and body protein bar in

the U S with over 10,000 five-star reviews and hundreds of thousands of happy customers. So definitely check this out and you can get 20% off all IQ bar products plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, just text combos to 64,000. Get your discount, text combos to 64,000. Again, that's combos to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Would you like to share with everyone about who came up on your people you may know on Facebook? on your people you may know on Facebook? Well, two people came up on people I may know. The first one was Elijah's ex-girlfriend. So I was like, oh wow, she unblocked me and wants me to see her profile picture. Like, I don't know what the fuck this is about. Right. And I'm cracking up. And then I keep scrolling and my fucking mom pops up. I was like, what the fuck is this?

Like, what is Facebook trying to tell me? Like, this girl and I'm like, three mutual friends. I'm like, what the fuck? Like, why? And then I scroll over maybe like two or three more. And there goes Boozy Susie and her man. And I'm like, what is life? What alias was she under?

A nickname that Isaac called like my so Isaac called her calls her mommy's mommy because the last time he saw her was after like an estranged period and I think he was either two or three and she she sat in my passenger seat and Isaac was like mom mom, who's that? And then my mom looks back at him and said, I'm your mommy's mommy. That's cute. And so he calls her mommy's mommy. And that was her alias on there. And I was just like, but nobody knows that you even have grandkids and who you are. So like, why would you put that on there?

That's equally as cute as it is sad. Yeah. Because that's like the one thing she's holding onto. We have one mutual friend, one mutual friend. I wonder if that mutual friend tells her stuff about you. Probably. Listen,

if I see somebody that like, I don't fuck with and we have a mutual friend, I am like the feds. Like I'm doing a whole sweep. Like you're all gone so it's one of those things where like so the mutual friend it was not friends with my mom last year um and up until last year did not she did not speak to my mom since my mom left me at the daycare screaming in the window when she got a DUI in front of the daycare. So it was like fucking 30 years ago, not 30, like 25. I don't know.

So they're friends now. And I almost, if she is telling my mom information about me, I, I'm almost glad because I want my mom to know what she's missing. almost glad because I want my mom to know what she's missing. I do think that's a trauma response. Um, I would say you would want her to know that you are well. Um, I'm not well,

but I'm on the, no, I'm sure a part of you feels that you want her to know that you're doing things in a way that she didn't and what she didn't give you with your children? Like, is she proud of me? Does she know I graduated college with a four-year degree? Does she know that I built a house? Does she know that I have businesses? Like, does she know that I have more children? Does she know that I have custody of them? Does she know I have no drug and alcohol issues? Like, does she know I don't even drink but maybe once or twice a year because of like, I just want to know like what information she knows? Slash, I would like to know if because I'm sure she has encountered people who recognize her from the show, or maybe they talk about it. I don't know. I would love to know what she thinks she knows. Like I would love to know what people tell her that maybe aren't factual. Don't you think it's so interesting that even as women of our age,

that we still have those types of feelings towards our parents? Isn't that crazy? I was just talking to Kristen yesterday because she has, so for those of you guys who don't know Creed and Kristen's dog. So I gave birth the same exact July 30th. Um, I was in labor and her dog was in labor. Kristen has the mom, the dad, and one of the puppies. Right. And so we were talking about an incident that she had, where we were like, do the, does the dad know that that's like his son that you like have, like it's a mom and a dad and a son. And she's like, the mom definitely knows that's like his son that you like have like it's a mom and a dad and a son and she's like the mom definitely knows that's her son because she takes care of him in like

whimpers if they're in two different rooms on like two different floors um and so I do wonder like even just like in the grand scheme of the animal kingdom like are we the we can't be the only ones that like knows who our mom is and has like a lifelong connection and desire to be connected with our mom. Isn't that so strange? Because I used to have like deep conversations with my dad and he's like, what is it that you are seeking from your mom? Like you are grown. Like, what is it that you're seeking from that? And I think it is more of a, you're seeking from that. And I think it is more of a, like you said, I want her to see that like I've done well, despite, you know, things I lacked growing up, you know, and that I was able to, I feel to successfully, you know, go into motherhood and a way that, you know, wasn't done for me. And maybe that's selfish. Um, I don't hold any ill will anymore. Um, I say my parents were in a completely different

place when they had me than I feel that I was whenever I had Jackson. So the life circumstances were very different. It took me a long time to get to that point to realize that. Um, and not until I was deep in therapy, did I like be able to arrive to that place? And so I have empathy, you know, it's like your life situation and decisions, um, were very different than mine, but they weren't my decisions to make. And I think that you have to rest solid in that, that it wasn't anything that you did. And I think that you have to rest solid in that, that it wasn't anything that you did. Just maybe she wasn't prepared for the occasion that she put herself in. Oh, for sure.

Not one of my aunts said that to me. She's like, your mom was in no position to have a child. Like we don't like for what? Like she just wasn't ready. I definitely have more empathy now and less anger. I still have like unanswered questions and things that I would like to know and like the why and the how and, you know, how did you get here kind of thing from her perspective. However, I don't know that I'll ever get those answers because I don't know that she

is ever going to acknowledge her, some of, some of her, some of her life. I don't think that she is self-inflicted, right? Like it's, you have to deal with the cards that you're dealt. But I do think to some degree, we all have self-inflicted trauma. There's definitely shit that I put myself in that I am now struggling from because I put myself there. Same for my mom. It's just, I don't know. I have more empathy now.

And I think, okay, at some point, the disease... Don't even get me started on the whole disease thing is it a disease I don't fucking know but the addiction situation I have more empathy I where like before I was like more angry like I was just like how like I don't understand it but like I don't know I feel like addiction is a self-inflicted disease right sometimes I think so I would love to be able to sit down with Susie and ask her like a million questions that I've had over the years since I've known you. Like I don't want to say the questions that I would ask because that would like blow the interview. But I have a ton of questions.

Me too. Like how are we going to reach out to her and like what would we say? Well, when I told Kristen that she came up on my people, I may know, she's like, maybe I need to add her. I don't know. I wouldn't be mad. She met my mom one time, which she can tell you that story if she hasn't already, but she met my mom one time. So she could be like, Hey, like we met one time. I mean, you know, she knows like it really happens. She can be like, hey, like we met one time. I mean, you know, she knows like it really happens. Kale has this podcast and this co-host that like wants to interview you.

Would you be interested? Do you think that your mom would ever do that? Yes, but her husband, like for example, my mom would, I don't know how to describe their relationship, make her own decisions. And then he would come in and be like, no, we never agreed to that. Like very much like. Who's we? Like, because sometimes it's sometimes it's just like not we. Their relationship reminds me of other people that I was on Teen Mom with.

Very scary and, again, partially self-inflicted for you staying kind of thing. But also almost like a Stockholm Syndrome sort of deal. I was literally about to say, is it like Stockholm Syndrome? Because you cannot tell me that you're happy with this man. You cannot tell me that you're happy with this man. You cannot tell me that you, no. But is it that kind of like a type of predator? Like because. 100%.

And I've said it a million times. He is the type of person to kill somebody on camera and say that he didn't do it. Like he's scary. He's a scary human being. That's literally terrifying. Okay. I've got to tell you something that I did. So.

I'm scared. You know how we have the telegram group chat with all of the kitties. Like those are our like major oils. Those are our writers. Okay. So I was on there talking some shit and they invited me, like the select group of kitties invited me to this private Zoom. And I sure as shit hopped on there. And I was on there until four o'clock in the morning. When? Talking to my fans. When?

Two nights ago. Where was I? Sleeping? It was four o'clock in the morning. So yes, you were sleeping. And I had so much fun. You did? Yeah.

And like I, okay. So I know that I was not like the best telegrammer, but now like, I love it. No, it's, it definitely is hard to keep, I mean, it's hard to keep up with all things in life. So I'm not saying it's hard to keep up with the kiddie gang. It's just hard to keep up with all things. Um, but when you can get on there and be on there for a minute, like it is a good time And you like to talk to the, like, it's fun to talk to the people. Yeah. Um, but I'm so glad that you got to do that. I had so much fun and I just love our listeners and everybody should just, I don't want to say everybody should be a part of the telegram because I don't think that that's the case, but like, it's fun. Did you see Carol? I love it. No. You didn't see Carol? Okay. I didn't see Carol, but I did see Sexy Lexi.

I did see Sexy Lexi. You did? Okay. Yeah. I do wonder how many, like, do you think any, like, trolls are in there? In the Telegram? Yeah, but, like, now you have to send, like, your government. So, like.

Well, I told Kristen I'll send mine if they want it. Like, you have to be verified. Fair for all or fair for none. So, like, I'll send mine. I'll just cover my address because I think it should be, I mean, across the board, it should be fair, you know? Because, listen, we talk about stuff in there that I just feel like is very important things that we're talking about in there. So, yes, you should have to be verified. Agreed.

Agreed with that. Speaking of listeners, though, this question came through and I want to know your thoughts. What is the number one reason you believe a man cheats, especially when he has a good woman next to him? This goes back to something I said months ago, probably last year. I don't even know when I said it, but I don't think humans are meant to be monogamous. We're not penguins. Like that's just not in our nature.

it, but I don't think humans are meant to be monogamous. We're not penguins. Like that's just not in our nature. And I just think a majority of men are still instinctively non-monogamous. Like I think that they're pressured by society to be monogamous or faithful to one person. And I just don't think that that's like in our DNA. So I saw various things that I want to reference when we talk about this, but this actually brings me to one of my topics as well. So you say what you're going to say, and then I'm going to add to it. So I agree to some extent about monogamy, but to also another extent, I believe in monogamy. So I don't want to be, I'm, I'm a type of person that would like freak out. Like if somebody is going to cheat on me, then I'm, I'm going to freak out for various reasons. Like number one, I need to go get tested. Yeah. Um, that's not safe. And for

those reasons alone, I feel like that should stop you from putting someone else at risk. Like your decisions can be your decisions, but don't put someone else in that situation to literally have to be fearful that they're walking around with poor health. Like that, that to me is not okay. It's not okay. Number two, I just feel like it's such an emotional trespass to cheat that it can change your life and the way that you think for forever. And it takes a long time for you to get out of that mindset. And if you aren't careful and you've ever been cheated on, you will place on another person, like your next partner, traumas from the situation that you were cheated on, you will place on another person, like your next partner,

traumas from the situation that you were cheated on in. Yeah, I definitely, I do agree with that. Like you'll carry it over. Yeah, if you're not careful. Thankfully, I have not carried that over because as everyone knows, I was in an extremely toxic relationship with a serial cheater. And I was very traumatized by that relationship, specifically the cheating more than anything else.

And I did not carry that over. And I don't know if it's because I was in therapy. And so I was able to like kind of move on from that. But previously I had, you know, just like the simple things that you don't think about. It's just like, who are you texting? Who called you? You know, things like that. It's just, you know, uncomfortable and you don't want to do that. But't think about. It's just like, who are you texting? Who called you? You know, things like that.

It's just, you know, uncomfortable and you don't want to do that. But I think. Go ahead. I think that social media has played a big role. Yes. Not that cheating was. There's been cheaters since forever. And the beginning of time.

The beginning of time there has been cheaters. I think that it's most prevalent now because access to people are so much more. You can be on dating apps and there's so many options of those. You can, I mean, not that people, you know, haven't been using aliases since the beginning of time too, but I just feel like there's so many other ways to like hide yourself and your true identity to be able to participate in stuff like this. Like I saw someone talking about how their husband or boyfriend was subscribed to like OnlyFans and looking at like girls photos. And to me, I just think that that is so foul I agree if I found out that he liked subscribe to some of these only fans and like paying for subscription or pictures or

something I would that's something I would not move on from personally yeah no I I think that to me at that point that is cheating oh agreed I agree with that because I mean it's not like you guys are going to the strip club together and this was like a mutual decision. You have now, you've done it in secrecy. You've never had a conversation with me about it and you're paying funds that we, you know, would essentially be our money or to go to our bills, our whatever, our family, and you're spending them on another woman to have sexual pleasure or some sort of sexual fulfillment. And I just, that to me would be cheating. That for sure is cheating. I feel like because it's so much easier now to be able to just like

hop in someone's direct messages or, you know, add them as a friend on Facebook or follow them on Instagram and look at, you know, all of their thirst traps that they might be posting. I think that it, I don't want to say that it doesn't also set women up, but I feel like men are, and I don't want to say they're set up because they're making a conscious choice to do that action, but it's right there in front of their face. And I feel like you have to be strong enough to be like, I am in this relationship. I'm committed to this. And there's nothing that's going to make me, regardless of what this person is posting, there's nothing that's going to make me cheat on her. But the other thing too, is just like,

as a man or as a woman, if you cannot commit to those things why are you even putting yourself in a relationship yeah stop putting yourself in relationships if you can't commit to what's being asked of you or what's talked about I just don't but here's the thing though people get into relationships without identifying what that relationship means so remember a long time ago we we talked about how someone, you could say I love you to somebody and someone could say I love you back, but their version of I love you

might be very different than your version of I love you. And they could mean I love you for a day or for a night and you could mean like I love you for a lifetime. And I think a lot of people just don't have conversations to say, okay, being in a relationship means this to me. These are my boundaries. These are my deal breakers. This is what I want out of a relationship. And I think without that conversation, it leaves a lot of gray area for someone to be like, oh, well, I never, you know, relationship never meant that

to me just because it meant that to you doesn't mean it means that to me. So it goes back to communication. I think I've been in three situations like that, two of which where they were in committed relationships with me and I just didn't care to be, it was to me, it was like, I love you. I love the person you are, but I'm not in love with you. And I don't consider this like a committed relationship. I mean, now that I'm out of them, I acknowledge those feelings and how they felt. And so I will say like, that's my ex. But I do think that's essentially how Chris was for me. Like I was in a committed relationship with him, but I don't think he was in a committed relationship with me. And, you know, I think part of that goes, that boils down to not having those sort of conversations

from the beginning, or in some cases, maybe people being dishonest and telling you one thing, but doing another. And so they're telling you what you want to hear, but doing another, and you should actually listen to the actions, not the words. And I think that we're in a place in society that there are so many gray areas that transparency has to be the key. And I think without transparency and without open communication and boundaries, relationships are bound to fail. Yeah. That actually brings me to, I saw this interview that was talking about how men are the loneliest people in nursing homes. are the loneliest people in nursing homes.

They don't get calls from their family. They don't have people come see them, call them, anything like that, because they are a lot of them in their lifetime were not good to their wives, their girlfriends, their mothers and their children. And so they're left in nursing homes to essentially just be by themselves. to essentially just be by themselves. And one of the CNAs was talking about how she felt bad for them at first, but then she realized that who they were, you know, in their like active life, like their regular life, they were shitty people to the women. And so that's what they deserve at the end. And I was just like, oh, wow, like cheating, lying, like doing all kinds of stuff. And then they're left

in the nursing homes to essentially like rot by themselves. Okay. I have to ask you a question about nursing homes. It's not, or like adult living centers, like for elderly. I'm not going to one. It's not about that. I have heard that the highest isolated cases of like STDs are in those centers. But like how? Is it because they're like going to Karen's room and then Becky's and then? I would guess. That was my thought. I think I read that or someone might have sent it to me and I read that

and I was just like, this doesn't surprise me at all. But how are they still functioning? And are these men getting viagra like how are they getting it up like that makes me question so many things and i also wonder like are they and do some of them have like sneaky links and like their main one you know um i feel like relationships and nursing homes would have to be like toxic as fuck like could you see just all these like old little cackling hens at this nursing home going to bingo and then talking about bob and how he was sleeping with becky and then how he got caught coming out of karen's room and then could you imagine, I bet you that environment is so toxic and catty and petty. I mean, for me, I, I only, I visited my grandmother in a nursing home,

but she was Alzheimer's. So she didn't, so there was not, it's not like I could hear stories about like the people. Um, and also she was still married to my pop-up. But did I say pop-up? He's not my pop-up. I called him Papa, like P-A-P-A. Anyway, I never saw anything go down. I never heard any rumors at her nursing home. But I would love to hear stories. If anyone wants to write in a foul play about this,

this is definitely something we need to follow up on. I would love to know this. And also, wouldn't it be so cool to just like go into a nursing home and do like some market research with like a camera and like interview some of these people and be like, can you tell me about your life here at this nursing home? Like,

are there any whores here are there any no i want to hear i want to hear the elderly talk about the people they've killed because i've also read stuff on um you know like on their you know in their last dying words in nursing in the nursing home or in hospice they admit to to murder. Like I, that's what I would want to know. Wait, what? You haven't heard that? No. There's a whole, like if you go on TikTok, there's a whole side of TikTok that talks about like what people have said to like their caretakers in their last like days, like what they've confessed to. Can, um, speaking of TikTok, can you give me any updates? Have you been watching any Norton videos? Um, yeah, she, she was fat bit. You told me not to call him by his name and here you are

calling him by his name. Norton. Um, yeah, he's, he was molting for a while, which takes, I guess it takes a couple of weeks. Um, but she was doing a whole, like she did, um, habitat tour and then, um, he was molting. So she was waiting until he was done molting to like redo, like revamp the tank. So I'm just waiting for that. Um, would you like to tell everybody who Norton is? Norton is the hermit crab that Janie raises. She has three or four, I think she has four hermit crabs now. And, um, I posted it in either the Facebook or the telegram. Um, and actually one of the people in our telegram, cause I, I also talked about the jumping spider accounts that I follow, um, runs a jumping spider, uh, TikTok. Yeah. Yes. Well, okay. So because you

do this, I'm pretty sure that's why it's showing up like on my like videos you may like or whatever somehow I got down this rabbit hole of like these tiny costumes for these little animals and it was like animals well like these hats and like stuff for like I don't know stuff that have heads I don't know it's like but what kind of animals would you put them on I don't know, stuff that have heads. I don't know. It's like, but like what kind of animals would you put them on? I don't know. I'll have to send you the video, but it was like these outfits. And I was like, okay, I would love to like have, I say, I would love to have this much time to do this as I'm sitting here talking about wanting to do market research on the elderly. But like, I wish that like I was cool enough that I could run a TikTok that was just on a hermit crab. No, I tried to run a TikTok for my dogs years ago.

It was very short-lived. I can't keep up. It's just too much to keep up. Jackson and I want a monkey so bad. Okay, then Lux is coming to live with you because if he asks me for a cute monkey one more time, I wouldn't even know where to get one okay you have to find like a breeder i think and you have to be it has to be legal in your state in the state of georgia i think that there are certain ones that you can have and then certain ones that you can't

have um kristin doesn't know this yet but i going to look in to this and she's quite literally going to kill me. Well, PETA is going to kill you too. I just, I, I want one so bad because I want to love on it and I want to dress it up. And I just like want it to ride around like in a little satchel, like on my front. Like I could see myself looking like the hangover, like that guy on the hangover where he's got the baby, like on the front, that would be like me with a monkey. And it would just be going everywhere with me. It would love me. The little teeny tiny ones are so, so cute. I don't know what they're called. Maybe like a spider monkey. I don't know. They're so cute though. Well, don't tell PETA because PETA is going to come after you. I, but why? Because I

would, I would be like the best mom to it. You know, um, have you ever followed the account? I think it's the account is Iggy. It's like a dog. It's a dog account. Um, PETA like would message the owner because. Why? Because they had a dog? Yeah. They like dress her up and like put outfits on her and PETA does not appreciate it. dress her up and like put outfits on her and pita does not appreciate it well i just like wanted to have outfits because like why would its privates like be showing here's my question and i'm this is not please don't argue with me or talk shit i just i genuinely have a question here so like at some point along the lines in history people decided to domesticate dogs right and they decided to domesticate cats and somewhere they were like oh let's have bunnies as pets too and like

why are all of the domesticated animals okay now and pita is okay with that but like what about the people who want to domesticate a like a species of monkeys like that's not okay but we domesticated dogs and cats and bunnies and like other things like where does the line get drawn for when and where and why we're going to domesticate like i don't know you get what i'm trying to say i do get what you're trying to say and i just feel like it would not be a big problem for me to have like jack, Georgia, and a monkey. Like I just don't think that that – people who would have problems with that, like that would become my problem because I would be the caretaker of this like precious angel pet. Could that be its name?

It would be – I wouldn't even say it was a pet because it's like a child. Like and it would just be wearing a diaper everywhere. Oh, speaking of like animals, that little mouse, it visits my house. So it's your friend now. Yeah.

And like, I don't want it killed. If you feed it outside, like away from your home, maybe it won't come inside your home. Okay. But I will be sitting on my back porch, like fire going,

listening to Morgan Wallen drinking a white claw, talking my shit, doing my thing. And it'll just like creep around. And I see it every night. It stays in that yard. It literally it's habitat is my yard and it just lives here. And it comes by, I'm not scared by it anymore. And it's not scared by me. It's like Stuart Little. I laugh literally every single time I think of your glasses and Lux being like, those are kinetic. Oh, I was just about to say that. Pear Eyewear helps you level up your looks with brand new wider frames and perfect styles

for guys. The first, actually, I think every time when Lux asked me about my glasses, he's like, oh, those are those the kinetic ones. And I'm like, yeah, they're the kinetic ones. But what he means is magnetic. I love them. I have, I probably have over 20 different top frame styles at this point because, or what are the tops? Because I love to match them to my outfit or coordinate with whatever I'm wearing. And Lux does help me pick them out. I truly think that this is absolutely genius. There is no worse feeling than feeling like you have to be committed to like one pair of glasses when you go to the eye doctor.

And you're like, okay, is this actually going to match everything that I'm wearing? So whoever came up with this idea is absolutely genius. Pure eyewear is the only eyewear that you'll ever need. It's budget-friendly, base frames starting at just $60, including prescription, which I feel like is unheard of. Hundreds of top frames starting at $25. So you can build a collection of styles. You can even turn your glasses into sunglasses with a sun top, which I think is very smart. And you guys know that we love a good give back. And today over 200 million children worldwide who need glasses cannot get them. So beyond helping you craft a style that's yours for every pair you buy, Pair provides a glasses and vision care to a child

in need. I love that. Well, you know, we always, we always support a good give back. So elevate your summer looks and get 15% off your first pair. When you go to pair, I wear.com slash coffee. That's pair P A I R I wear.com slash coffee. That's pair, P-A-I-R, iwear.com slash coffee. I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off The Vine Podcast, where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor franchise and beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. Nikki Glaser, Wells Adams, Elise Myers. Just like in this like business jacket, like I would love some tacos.

Heidi D'Amelio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're going to get through it. What I do. And so many more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions and get a little vulnerable because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow, rate and review Off The Vine Podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts. Okay. Can I tell you what I got wrapped up in over the weekend? Yeah. Okay. So I started seeing a bunch of my blogger friends posting about this girl who vanished on I-459 in Hoover, Alabama. Her name was Carly Russell. And I don't know how much you've seen about it, but she was a 25-year-old woman.

She vanished off the side of Interstate 459 in Hoover Thursday night after telling a 911 dispatcher and her family that she saw a child wandering alone. It said that she has since returned to her home and was taken to the hospital to be evaluated. But sorry, I don't know what was that. That was no one really knows what happened. But she said that she was like driving down the highway. And she just saw this like child wandering on the side of the road. So she pulled over and I guess was going to like try to help this child that she thought was just like a little kid. And I saw a bunch of people saying that it actually wasn't a little kid, that it was like a little person. And then all of a sudden she just vanishes. Like she her car or she goes missing that i think the car's left there and she just goes missing um supposedly she was like really really close to her house

when this happened um within like a couple of miles she was going to stop by this place called Taziki's to pick up dinner for herself and her mother. And she calls police and tells the dispatcher that she was near mile marker 11 when she saw a toddler wandering alone. And she pulled over to check on the child, calls a family member. Family member lost contact with her, but remained the like line remained open. And she was driving a red Mercedes. It was left running, but was vacant. And some of her belongings were found nearby. They were unable to find her or a child in the area. There was no other phone calls that police received of like a missing child or anything like that. And then it says that the car door was open and her phone was found on the ground along with her wig and her hat. Her purse was still in the car.

Her Apple Watch was in her purse and AirPods as well. was still in the car. Her Apple watch was in her purse and AirPods as well. Um, and there was a gray car with a tall brown skin man, uh, wearing khaki shorts and he was leaning over the car. Um, police did find some, um, tire tracks in the grass and they said, because it was not like a muddy area, they were unable to determine like what type of vehicle that it could have been. And then like the next, I believe it was like 24 hours or so. Um, she showed back up and I'll post on our Facebook or not our Facebook page, but our Instagram page, what the boyfriend said and his statements. But I believe based off of what he said, it was kind of vague, but I believe that she

was kidnapped and like fought for her life. She was taken to the hospital. I believe she went through some type of evaluation. I don't know if anything like physically happened to her, what happened. But the boyfriend said that she was basically sleeping since she had been home. And I would just love to know what actually happened and how she managed to come out of a lot out alive in that situation. And it made me feel like, is it possible, like trafficking situation? Did they maybe like let a child out on the highway to like lure someone in or what happened? Remember me talking about how there was like that trafficking situation that was said like to be in my general area, like targets with like a van and like a woman. And she was like calling into the

people who were doing the trafficking and giving all the information on the person. I just wonder if it was like a trafficking situation, but how did she get away? And why was the car left running with all her belongings? Wouldn't they have wanted to like take everything so that they, or maybe not because then they wouldn't they can't be tracked that's so interesting but what if they just like grabbed her up and just like fled why release her but also how quick would the police have had to have gotten there if the car was still running because i know mine has like an auto shut off but i don't know if like if it was like an older car I don't know like what year it was I don't know if it'll like auto shut off or not right probably like because I've had older

older Mercedes and then by older I mean like 2008 and then I had a 2018 2019 one um they did not have automatic shut off that I can think of um I would just love to know more information on this. I'm sure we'll find out more as I know there's an investigation that is going on and I'm sure that they'll release information to the public. Um, but it says that if you have any information, please contact detective Brad Fountain at 205-444-7562 or Crime Stoppers of Metro Alabama at 205-254-7777. One more thing that I would like to talk about, and a listener wrote this in, they said, does anyone else take pride in being the best that your man has ever had um as you should i think if you're the if you believe that you're the best your partner has ever had you should absolutely take pride in that i don't know how can you say for sure

yeah um well i mean so i feel like when you know that you're the best that someone's ever had whether it's like sexual or just like in general or whatever like you just know like you just fucking know but how because i i don't feel like that i feel like i can't honestly say that i believe that i was the best sexual partner that you know anyone's ever had um i just don't know like i personally just don't have that confidence in the sexual department. I'm like, okay, maybe, but you know. As Kristen just text us and says, I'm going to like call her out right now for what she just text.

She said, I know that I'm the best dick writer. Okay. Here's the thing. You don't know what, and, and I do think if you like find yourself in a situation where you fall in love with someone, I think it's just curiosity to like wonder what their sexual life was like before you. Did you do the same sexual things with that person that you do with me? And did it like play out the exact same way? Because if so, I'm pissed.

I don't ask Elijah like sexual questions like that. I may, I don't remember ever asking him any type of sexual questions like that. I definitely, we've had conversations actually. Um, when he, right when he either got separated or divorced, he was with somebody. And, um, I was like, Oh, like, let me see what she looked like. Like, let me see, like, I want to know what your type is, like who you're with or whatever. He's like, I'm embarrassed. Um, and he was like, she's not that cute. And I saw her and I was like, Oh, like, she's not bad.

Like, what are you embarrassed about? You know, but I don't really ask about sexual questions. I don't, um, I don't ask either, but it is something that's like run through my mind where I'm like, okay, did he do this to this other person that I know that he was with? Because if so, like I'm upset. That's how I was with my, one of my exes. Like when he would always cheat or like, I knew that when we broke up, he would be with his other girlfriend.

And I would get very, very like in my head about, you know, did he do this with this other person? Does she do it better than me? Does he do them better than he does me? Like very, very upset. I will say that I am confident just based off of conversations that have just like organically occurred. Occurred that there are certain things that we do do with each other that I don't think either of us did with before each other and as frequent maybe it was done with a previous partner but not as

frequently I will say that I have asked and please don't fucking body shame me for this anyone anyone I'm gonna killisten because she's texting us saying it was anal isn't it it's like no it's not fucking anal like i always ask if i'm the biggest girl they've ever been with that is one question i don't know who's getting the cops are coming yeah the cops are coming i definitely ask if i'm the biggest girl but do you feel like that's because you're like you feel like some type of like self-consciousness or something with that or are you just like jen like you just want to really want to know i just want to know and i mean i mean elijah has definitely been with the girl bigger than me so

um probably a couple i i know of two but um it doesn't bother like whatever his answer is doesn't bother me same for like my exes i don't care I'm just curious like because I feel like you gotta love on big bitches a little bit different goodbye okay were you asking that because he didn't know how to love on you no I was just like because he did so good that you I'm just I don't know what it is I'm just naturally attracted to skinny men. Like I just like skinny men. I don't want any fluff. I don't want muscles. I don't want anything like I like how some people are chubby chasers. Like I must be a skinny. I don't know. And so it's just so interesting to me. Like, why would someone skinny want to be with someone like me where I'm a thicker gal?

You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know. It's just like what they like. The same reason why you like sticks. Like, I don't know. Why am I like this? I don't know. If Kristen texts us one more time, I swear.

I'm not getting them. Kristen says, so you're attracted to bones like essentially based off of Kale's history yes she is she is attracted to bones um I like to be able to hold on to something like like good arms nothing like good arms like but the skinny man that I have dealt with in my time they have their net they have nice biceps like they're they're skinny cut like you know what I mean like they're skinny but they have like they have what is like what is the word I'm looking for um muscles no like yes but like definition definition thank you they have definition um i don't know i feel like skinny dick is the best dick that's my opinion um they i have heard rumors that skinny guys have the

biggest wings they're well endowed i've never been with a skinny man that was not well endowed okay so based off of your market research. They're slanging. They are slanging. I will just say I don't want somebody like super skinny. Not like because I'm not attracted to bones. But I don't, I want them to be like athletic build. You know? Yeah. don't I want them to be like athletic build you know yeah like you might have like a tiny peak of abs but they don't have to be like super abby okay like you definitely need to have nice arms

like a good like arm vein is like good I don't I like men that have like decent thighs but not huge but like you know you know they're there like an athlete like a nice athletic build yeah for sure i can confidently say i feel like i might be the maybe not the shortest but the tiniest that he's ever been with you know yeah um i'm confident in that i don't know that i'm the biggest that some of these people have dealt with. But I do always wonder that. Like, okay, hey, like, did you lick her cat like that? Because if you did, I'm pissed.

I'm pissed off. So just lie if you did. I should not have said that. But you know what? We all know that I don't like to take anything out. So it's just going to stay. Um, good old cat licking. And on that note, um, foul play. Foul play. Okay. This is embarrassing as fuck, but I have no shame. A couple of years ago, I was in my master bedroom getting ready to leave the house. My son 10 at the time walked

into my room and said, what's this? I turned around and saw him holding my vibrator that was plugged into the wall it looked like a back massager but i was so horrified that i didn't think to say it was a back massager instead i said it's a microphone my son then proceeded to put the microphone up to his mouth and talk into it. After my son left the room, my boyfriend came in and I told him what happened. From that day on, my five-prater got a new name, Mike. Love the podcast. I watched Teen Moms from the beginning.

I love Chris Lee. Knows best. The collab with you two is unmatched. Mike, drop. If my 10-year-old, because I also have a 10-year-old, if that happened and he came into my bedroom and was holding a, um, I would have to sanitize his entire existence like that. And I need to know, was this like clean plugged in or was this like you plugged it in after you used it and like

you didn't wash it? I have one of those and um they are not supposed to get wet so you definitely have to like sanitize the them um maybe you could like rinse rinse and sanitize the top but like you can't like take it apart or anything and like you can't really submerge it into water like some other waterproof toys that i have um so maybe she sanitized it before she plugged it in how are you guys sanitizing these things well like i said i mean you could run like the head of it underwater a little bit but like you cannot get like where like the like microphone part would be you can't go like below that and then i would say like clorox wipes maybe or antibacterial soap a little bit and then like

wipe it down really well but like those ones are hard because unless since i got mine they met they may have come out with waterproof ones but mine was definitely not waterproof okay i've always wondered this how many people use toys and don't wash them after i would love like well yeah it is foul but i'm just saying like i would love to know how many people just like use one slap it in their drawer and get on about their day or is everybody like I'm gonna Clorox this shit down and it's gonna be clean like the next time remember that time that you clean like all of your toys and they were on your bathroom and your kids saw it I hope that everyone is using antibacterial soap after because even if it's just your own soap after because even if it's just your own bodily fluids I feel like if you leave them on there like there's bacteria in the air or on your nightstand or in your drawer like on your hands

and you then touch it and you don't know like what could then grow from your fluids with the bacteria it's like when you touch bread and then you put it in a container and you do the science experiment of like the mold or whatever like I, I just feel like everyone should use, we're big fans of dial antibacterial soap over here. Speaking of the dial antibacterial soap, I got called the dumbest bitch ever. Um, cause I posted dial that I had in my shower and it, it got on a thread that was just talking about how it was the dumbest bitch ever and how that dial actually wasn't antibacterial. Yes, it is. It's only certain dial that I think is antibacterial.

Is that true? I went down a rabbit hole of this because there was – I prefer the orange, like, liquid antibacterial soap for my armpits. Yeah. But I went – and I was convinced that, like, the bar was not antibacterial. And I went down a rabbit hole. And even though it doesn't say it, it is antibacterial. That's the whole fucking point of the dial antibacterial soap. So you're not a dumb bitch. Okay.

Well, I got called a dumb bitch for it because I had the blue one. Let me Google it. So just want to say, maybe I'm not washing with antibacterial, but I'm definitely dialing out my. No, it is antibacterial. I just Googled it. It is. Yes. Okay. So whoever called me antibacterial, whoever called me a dumb bitch, like I'm not upset, but I'm kind of offended. Dial has blue spring water deodorant soap that is antibacterial also. Yeah, I have that. But every single blue one that is popping

up for me right now on Google, simple Google search, is antibacterial. So sorry that I'm not dumb, but maybe you are. Next foul play. So it's been about two hours since the traumatic incident ended. Wow. But you thought of us immediately. You thought of us immediately. Oh, I just want to say before I say this, thank you so much to Des who said that she watched all the Teen Moms from the beginning and that you love Chris Lino's best.

And this collab is unmatched because just thank you. Thank you. Okay. So it's been about two hours since the traumatic incident ended. I've been able to sit with my thoughts and feelings for a minute, but only for a minute because you wrote very fast to us. I felt it my duty to share the dark times of parenting and not just glorify the smiling, cute things that they do. We love a parent that can do this. Do not read further. If you have a weak stomach, you have been warned. So if you've ever met Peyton, you have probably noticed he is either constantly talking or making noise at all times.

This includes sound effects. So we're about 15 minutes into our 45 minute drive home. Peyton's talking about the accident. We're passing. And then I hear what sounds like a weird engine revving sound effects coming from the backseat. After a minute and a half, I turned around to give my standard, what are you doing? Only to find a full blown family guy exorcist vomit on my back seat. With absolutely no warning, Peyton's eyeballs are popping out of his face. Both hands are grasping his mouth like his life is depending on it. Vomit is spraying out from between his fingers like a pressure washer all

over my car. I'm in a state of shock. On Randall Road, thank you for letting us know that it was on Randall Road, with nowhere to pull over. So I'm just watching in of shock on Randall Road. Thank you for letting us know that it was on Randall Road with nowhere to pull over. So I'm just watching in my rearview mirror for a solid two to three minutes while my car and my child are being covered in macaroni and hot dog shower with look of pure horror on his face. At the point, if you don't have pure horror on your face and he has had macaroni and hot dogs, I am fucking alarmed. That's just foul like that. I'm finally able to pull over and get out of the car. My child is sitting with two fistfuls of chunks and goes to open the car from the inside. I lose it. I almost dropped dead right there. I got him out of the car, start unloading the wipes from the diaper bag, shout out to Leo at a rapid rate, handing them to Peyton to clean himself off. I start unloading the wipes from the diaper bag shout out to leo at a rapid rate

handing them to payton to clean himself off i start cleaning what i can in the car turn around to see my child dripping from his hair to his shoes i start i just stand there and stare ready to throw the whole child away at this point kidding so i strap this dripping vomit monster back into my car fresh from horror film tell him he's not eating dinner tonight now he's devastated crying because i won't provide him more food to upchuck literally no we finished our 25 minute drive home with every window in the sunroof open to air that bitch out didn't help we get home and that's where the fun starts he immediately gets in the shower. First order of business. I have to go get the booster seat out.

All prongs straps the seat in with a pool of vomit. And therefore slippery. So I spend five minutes easily digging, digging and vomit, trying to get this damn thing out of my car. Thankfully, I have a mat over both of my seats under the car seat. So most of the vomit was pulled there.

The worst was on the seatbelt, which because he got out, um, was now rolled up in the door of the car chunks and all. So I go get a coarse brush to clean the whole seatbelt with scrubbing their literal chunks flying and coating me. It takes everything in me not to vomit on my damn self. I finished cleaning all the fabric first, go to pull out the weather tech flooring, hose it off. There's not a single drop of vomit. The only part of the car I can hose down and it's dry as a bone. You've got to be kidding me. We get in the house where the vomit, where he vomits again, fortunately this time in the toilet, I get him a bucket, tell him, tell him it goes everywhere with him. I turn around,

not a minute later, the bucket is sitting on the tile in the house and he's two floors up getting his stuff ready for bed, nothing but carpet. The audacity of this child to just be walking on my carpet while I'm covered in vomit, I'm covered in his vomit particles like nothing just happened. I'm traumatized. He's walking around like nothing happened. And you're either dying of laughter at my pain at this point or voluntarily traumatized. I'm traumatized. I'm just going to say, this goes back to the argument. Are you vomiting in the toilet or are you vomiting in a bucket? We know that you're a popcorn bucket vomiter, and then you're going to serve your kids popcorn in that same bucket the next day.

I am a toilet vomiter. Oh, you're also a sink vomiter. I'm a toilet vomiter, which is absolutely disgusting to just think that your face would be that close to somewhere that you shit. Every time I throw up though, I have like this spray in my bathroom it's called like clean something it's by like mr clean but it's like an anti also an antibacterial spray and I spray the entire confection and we'll wipe it down so then the next time I throw up I'm not throwing up on like shit and puke um I was throwing up so bad you know it's like really bad when your bed is literally like maybe four steps from your toilet and you choose to get a pillow out of your bed sleep on a cold tile floor with a blanket when you're puking that bad yeah also what is it with children and throwing up because lux got lux was

eating a turkey sandwich the other day and my dog got drool on him and he immediately started gagging. And instead of like going to the toilet or the trash can to like throw up, he just sat there gagging and then threw up on the carpet. I don't know what's wrong with kids. Like I really. Like get the fuck up. Like I didn't say this, but in my head I'm like, if you're gagging and you're grossed out, get up.

What are you doing? But they'll just sit there. And then it's like everybody signed up for that. It's like, no, you were- I didn't sign up for that. I didn't sign up for that gagging that's going on that's ultimately gonna cause vomit spray everywhere. Like that's not what I signed up for today.

Also carpet. If Jackson, he has carpet in his bedroom. I only have two bedrooms in this house that have carpet. It's my he has carpet in his bedroom. I only have two bedrooms in this house that have carpets, my guest bedroom and Jackson's bedroom. If you're vomiting, you're immediately not going to be in your bedroom because I'm not cleaning up, throw up off of the bed, the carpet and nothing, nothing. No, like just throw up on the hardwoods. If you, if, if it's going to end up to that situation, just throw up on the hardwoods. It's something that I can easily clean up. Carpet is the worst thing. Throw up in carpet is absolutely disgusting. It happened in our old house where he was trying to vacate the premises and it was like a trail of vomit. And when I tell you, that was the most nastiest shit to ever clean up, like immediately running rug doctor.

Immediately running rug doctor. I can't. And on that note, Kale looks like she's going to be sick. If you have not followed us on at Coffee Convos Podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. And if you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any app wherever you get your podcasts. Always first at Podcast One. We hope you guys have a great week, and we'll talk to you soon. See ya.