Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Sneaky Kids And Consequences

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

CC315: Is anyone else's kids coming home hungry and/or not wanting to eat at dinner time? Kail and Lindsie talk about their experiences with their kids recently and some of them being sneaky. A video on baby names and elderly people names has Kail and Lindsie wanting to pick out their names for the future, and what is this, Kail and Lindsie mostly agreeing on the hottakes?? For Foul Play - ain't no way as grown people we are allowing skid marks to be a thing!! Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors! DraftKings: Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with promo code COFFEE, and new customers get a deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit $5 or more IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help Progressive: Visit progressive.com to learn more Stitch Fix: Try StitchFix.com/coffeeconvos today and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Good morning and welcome back. What the fuck just happened? I didn't see you. Can you see me? Yeah, I can hear you. No one knows can fucking see me. Gosh, someone actually messaged me and was like, what's with y'all's generation? Just fucking around like saying fuck all the time. I don't know. We grew up in the 90s. Like I don't in the early 2000s, I don't, I'm not sure.

It's like a thing that we just do. And we've been saying it for a long time. Like it was my first cuss word. I don't even think it's that, like, I don't know, I'm just so used to it that it's not offensive to me. And I don't think twice when people say it. So when people who don't cuss hear me cuss,

it's funny because I just don't think twice. Like it just doesn't, I don't bat an eye. I don't care. Like if someone is really excited about something and they cuss or they're really upset about something and they cuss or they just cuss on a regular set, like it's fine. Well good morning, coffee mugs podcast. Why are you drinking water out of McDonald's? I was so thirsty this morning and I was on the phone with Kristin and I said, do you think that I could just go through a drive-thru because I didn't have any water in my car, forgot to fill up my Stanley? I was like, do you think they'll give me just water in a cup?

And so I ordered a Coke as well just because I didn't know if they would give me. Oh my God. You wanted the free water, so you got the Coke. Yeah, I just didn't know if they'd give me one so I ordered a Coke as well but I really wanted the water. Is that not so embarrassing when you want a water so bad and you pull through a drive-thru and you just like expect that they're going to give you a free water? Yeah, and I just don't know because I've never done it and I already had gotten it. I already

went to Wawa this morning with the kids so I didn't want to go back into Wawa. I should have just got the water then but I wasn't thinking about myself. I was thinking about so Lux asked to pack his lunch and I like to do the things the night before and he didn't. So this morning he's like packing his lunch. I'll post a picture of what he packed. It was snacks. It was all snacks. There was nothing else in it besides snacks. There was no drink and no sandwich. Obviously. What are the snacks that were in there? Oh, he had chips of Hoy, nutter butters, a gogurt, which I was okay with a gogurt, um, Dunkaroos and you know, those like dipping things where it's like either the crackers in the cheese or the cookies

in the icing. They're kind of like Dunkaroos, but not, um, that's all that was in there. Oh wow. So we went to Wawa this morning and I got him a fruit cup. It was like not even a cup. It's not a fruit cup. It's like a little container of like fresh fruit, a sandwich, some other things, a drink. So like he had like an actual lunch. But so yeah, that's what we went in there for. Okay, so I'm gonna go back to what I've said many of times before. If you don't wanna pull your hair out in the morning. You have to do it the night before. You have to do it the night before.

Like I've had the whole lunchbox, put it in the fridge, pull it out. Jackson's lunchbox, I don't know if anybody else's kids have this type of lunchbox, but his has like a strap on it so you can attach it to like the loop of the top of the backpack. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So it doesn't like go in the backpack. It's so nice. Really works for us.

I always offer like either I call it a charcuterie, but it's really a lunchable. It's like the OG charcuterie. It's either that or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Jackson got on this phase where he thought he was taking sushi to school like every day. And like, first of all, I'm not a sushi maker. Secondly, I don't have time to go and like get you a fresh sushi roll every day. And I need to know anybody who goes to the grocery store and buys sushi like the ones that are pre-made.

Do y'all have those at your grocery store? Not that I know of. I mean, we might. I just don't know of any. Okay. Like all of our grocery stores have like a sushi maker. I don't know what they're called. I'm just going to call sushi maker.

And they pre-make sushi rolls and then put them in the container. And I am always so sketched out, but I feel like that is something that you need to eat like when you get it, it's like a raw fish. Yeah. Well, so there's certain ones that are not raw fish. Like what? Like a California roll?

Yeah, like I think, don't quote me on this, I think a California roll or like some of the rolls that have imitation crab, or I don't remember. I think a California roll or like some of the rolls that have imitation crab or I don't remember what's in a Philadelphia roll. I think that has crab as well or like the spicy crab roll. Some of them, ew, in a Philadelphia roll? Kristen just popped on here and goes salmon. Okay.

So definitely the California roll might be, in some cases, imitation crab, not raw fish.. Well, I don't care whether it's imitation Or whether it's not it's not trust me to be fresh like it's dusty so Yeah, one time when we were in college will's brother We all three live together his brother went and got one of these sushi rolls from Kroger and Got and got one of these sushi rolls from Kroger and got literally like deathly ill. And now I won't even like look in that direction.

I don't care if they're just putting it out like they just made it. I'm going to the Japanese restaurant and honestly I might get sick there too. I'm not saying that it's a trustier situation, but I just know that it's like made right there and I am so weird about sushi that when I order it, like I won't even order it over the phone. I go in and order it at the sushi bar and wait for it to be made because I'm terrified they're going to give me something that like already made. Well I think raw meat in general, like any type of meat, I don't fuck around with that.

You know what I mean? So like personally, I've never that I know of have like picked up sushi from like a place, like a grocery store or something. I always like, I got sushi last night, but I was at a Japanese restaurant. And I know like they brought it to me when I ordered it. You know?

Yeah, that's exactly. Okay, so let me tell you what happened this morning. So Jackson decides that it's a good idea to forget his school project at Will's. Oh good. And Will shows up with Jackson over here because he played with him for a couple of hours yesterday, which is typically like not our regular Sunday. But he's missed a couple of days from having him from like work trips and stuff. So he went over there, played with him for a couple of hours. I tell him, hey, while he's over here, will you go through this rubric and like make sure

that he did all of the parts? And if he didn't, then just like have him sit down and do it for a little while and then you guys can play and have fun. Please tell me why when Will Campbell brings him back over here, he brings the folder with the rubric without the project. And he was like, Oh, I thought that was something that was already done and he was just showing me like, first of all, he doesn't show us his work. That's number one.

Why would you have said to go over the rubric if it was something that was already done, and he was just showing you, but you literally asked him to do a task for the project. I have no idea. I have no idea. So this morning, Willard. Wake up early. Jackson has to rush through the shower routine,

which honestly, not a bad thing because that's normally like a 20 minute ordeal. Fix him some fresh banana bread because like I am being crunchy mom right now. I hate banana bread. What? I hate banana bread. Is that a southern thing?

Like I don't know if like banana bread and zucchini breads and stuff are more like southern or if they're just like universal everywhere. I feel like all southern. They're everywhere. They're everywhere, but I don't, like I just tried zucchini bread for the first time a couple of weeks ago, Natalie made it and I ate it and it was really good.

But banana bread, I can't get behind that. What is it? The texture, is it just like the banana flavor? Yeah, I just think like the banana flavor in the bread, not my thing. First of all, I just love banana bread. So I heated him up a little piece of banana bread, slapped like a dollop of butter on it. He had his breakfast and I was like, you need to hurry up and stop jackdicking around because we've got to

go to your dad's to pick up this project that you guys failed to put back in your backpack. Why don't you have will just drop it off because now you have to add another step to your time. Well, because he did me a favor by bringing him back home. Okay, fair enough. So I didn't want him to have to like go back home, come back. So I was like, just put it in your mailbox, whatever. So I send all of these instructions to Will

about like multiple school things that need to be done. And who knows if they'll actually be done, it's probably gonna be the same situation as the rubric situation. And then I didn't have time to go through it this morning because we had to study for a fricking vocabulary test. So I'm like, I don't have time for all of this. So I get him to school, run to the grocery store

really quick, make it to Pilates 20 minutes early. This is all like before 8 a.m. Love that for you. All this shit is going on. I love that for you. So I get out of Pilates after also gonna call Kristen out for this, the bitch registered me for a cardio class

on a Monday morning. Like when I got here. I got nothing. And realized that I was running through a full hour of cardio and this was not a stretch class. I was very ill. So do you like the stretch class? Do you like burn calories and that too? Okay. Actually, this was a thing that came up. I saw on a trainer's Instagram, she was doing like a Q and a and she was talking about like the Pilates fad

and how it's truly like a fad right now. And I was just very upset by that because I don't feel like I'm ever gonna get out of it. My parents used to do Pilates whenever I was growing up. Pilates has been a fad for 50 fucking years. Pilates was like always a trendy thing, especially with, at least from my perspective, I don't know if this is true,

but like from my perspective, like wealthy people, I've always known wealthy people who do Pilates. It used to be like, to your point, yes, because my parents used to go to like the beach club when we like, so we lived in Florida, like over the summers, they would go to the beach club and go to these Pilates classes. And I always thought it was like so strange whenever I was growing up. I'm like, why are

they getting up so early to like go and do this? But now I get it because I'm completely addicted. But it's not, it's not a fad. It's more, I guess like for me with you saying that it's more and I don't mean it this way. So try to like track what I'm saying. It's almost like a click or like a cult kind of like CrossFit. If you do CrossFit, it's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. You either do Pilates lifestyle or you do the CrossFit lifestyle or you do the sprinting marathon running lifestyle. Like it's just a lifestyle. Yeah, I agree. And so on this, you said I'm so heated. On this trainer's page, she was talking about like, if you are looking to lose weight, or

you are trying to like gain muscle mass or whatever, like you need to do strength training and not not Pilatesates because it's more like a toner. Okay, that's fine. And I'm like, okay, I'm completely fine with that because I go to the regular gym like two days a week, the Pilates studio like three or four days a week. And I love to get a good stretch on. But the fact that I was bouncing, like not even kidding, bouncing around for 45 minutes this morning on a springboard

throwing and it's all like coordination related. So like you've got to like work your feet going like different directions and then you're like throwing a ball in the air catching it like in different directions. Kristen Hook absolutely not. I actually love that for you. I feel like I wish there was a camera in there. Me and you both. Because that sounds very entertaining. Okay Lindsay, I have to tell you that I finally caved and I tried Stitch Fix for

the first time for myself and Cory because you know fall we're changing wardrobes. I just don't have time to like get out and go to the store and I just want, you know, nice outfits put together for me and we are loving them. We're keeping both boxes. I absolutely love Stitch Fix. I actually need to put it in order for myself and you guys can just consider Stitch Fix as your style partner. Your stylist is going to learn about your taste and collaborate with you on looks that you'll love without breaking the bank, which is absolutely the best part. You're going to look the part for

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So no matter what season of life you're in, Stitch Fix, has you covered simply order a refresh as needed, set it and forget it with regular fixes. If that's what you choose, you're honestly in total control. And I love that. And I also love that once you start using Stitch Fix, over time, their seasoned stylist experts

will match you with greater precision to perfect the pieces based on your likes and dislikes. So it's super easy. And I also love the option that you can get it all the time or like that's a set it and forget it option, or you can just get the refresh as you needed. I love that it has different options. So thanks to Stitch Fix, they just get us and they're going to get you to try today at stitchfix.com slash coffee combos and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix that stitchfix.com slash coffee combos stitchfix.com slash coffee combos. So I do all of this and I'm like, okay, I am productive mom today. Like I have done it all.

I have sweat all over this fucking Pilates studio. Like I am thriving and glowing in my moisture. Go to pull out of the parking lot and I'm in a 45 mile per hour zone. And we all know that I don't look at speed limit ever. We've talked about this. The only reason I know that specific speed limit is because I travel that road every single day, like back and forth and the cops always sit.

So I know specifically that's a 45. Go to pass the hospital and this car like pulls out of the hospital, not even like their light. So I'm going through like a green light. They pull out and not only pull out into like the lane beside me, but like merge into my lane, probably going 60 miles an hour in a 45 almost clipped me. And I'm like, Oh, okay. So evidently, God had plans for me to die today. And when I get to the next red light, I have you ever like pulled up next to someone's car and like you smell the odor coming from their car? Yeah. And that's

why I'm pretty sure my parents always put on like that circulation thing. So it like circulates the air in your car and like not from the outside. Well, evidently, I didn't have mine on because I'm pretty sure I got a second hand high. Wait, that's what that button is for? That's what my dad said. He could be lying. I thought it was just so it pushes it through the back. I didn't know that it, like,

I just thought it was so it circulates through the car, but I didn't know that it was for it to not come from outside. I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that, well, at least that's what my dad said. I mean, She's probably right, I have no idea. Let's be honest, he doesn't really know about stuff. So, I'm pretty sure that, well, at least that's what my dad said. I mean, she's probably right. I have no idea.

Let's be honest, he doesn't really know about stuff, so I'm not sure. I know. I feel like I would gain a lot of wisdom from Todd Crisley. Yes, but a lot of wisdom in ways that you probably don't need wisdom. Well, if there ever comes a time where our reality TV world's collide. I would love for him to take me to etiquette classes and have him react to my etiquette because I feel like it would be just as entertaining as Cardi B going. Listen, about etiquette, yesterday morning,

I fixed like gourmet breakfast and that was cheese eggs and a cinnamon roll waffle and a fruit medley and a glass of chocolate milk. And I need to know all you chocolate milk drinkers, like the best chocolate milk that you will ever have is for your life. Like don't argue with me. I don't agree. Because you're a liar. Okay, so make this breakfast, right? I look over and my son is literally holding his fork like a shovel. Same way his dad held it whenever I met Will. And I looked at him and I said, sir, you are almost 11 years old. If you cannot learn how to properly eat, then we got a big problem,

because that's not how we eat in this house. The fact that you are picking up your entire section of eggs on a fork and taking nibbles off of the entire egg, like everything that was on his plate and it's on the fork and taking nibbles off, like no, that is not how we eat. And your papatot would be appalled. Your Papatot? Is that what he calls them? Papatot?

Yeah, Papatot. I said he would literally be appalled. We would have been quite literally killed if we ever ate like that. And in fact, when I first started dating Will, his table manners were so bad. And you never want to be like that girlfriend when you, you know, like first start dating that is like, wow, you really need to change this or you really need to change that. But no, sir, in fact, you need to change this because you can never go to my parents' table eating like that because they will say you are a savage animal. Your kids have proper etiquette.

Isaac is, Todd would be very proud of Isaac because Isaac's just like easily grossed out So he does everything a certain way. Yeah Lincoln I would say I would if Lincoln was in Todd's presence at a dinner table I would trust him to act right Lux. No Lux is unhinged. Absolutely not and what about Crete Crete's not even sitting down He don't want to eat. He's not hungry He's gonna say he's not hungry and then at 9 30 in the night. He's gonna wake up and say he's hungry So Kristen and I were talking about this like just privately About how we did not have those options whenever we were kids like something changed in parenting from when we were being raised

To how we raise our kids, all these fucking options. And it's like, no, we didn't have those options. If you didn't eat. Then you didn't eat. You didn't eat. And once the kitchen was cleaned, you're definitely not eating. Like everything's cleaned up, the lights are turned off

and you're taking your ass to bed. I don't, I don't, I've said this before, probably multiple times on this podcast. I don't make my kids eat if they don't want to. That being said, I don't know what it is about Creed that he just doesn't, Creed eats when he's hungry and he eats a lot when he's hungry. So I just don't force it. But the other kids, I don't have that problem with them. Like they'll either eat or they don't.

And if they don't, they don't, maybe they just go to- Like ask for anything. Yeah, they don't, I don't know. They don't ask for anything. Or you could have children like my child who thinks that they're being sneaky and goes to the pantry and walks upstairs with multiple bags of little bites, thinking I'm not hearing the rappers like crinkle around. Yeah.

And then I go upstairs and there's an ant bed underneath the couch where there have been paper like the wrapper shoved into the couch. Little Bites have been a fan favorite at my house between myself and my children for like they're a staple. Like little bites because it's a staple because if you are running out of time in the morning, you can eat them for breakfast. If you need an after school snack, you can eat them. Yep.

They're just like a good, they're just, we just love them. Like we- Like just enough in the bag. Yes. To satisfy your hunger. Yep. To tide you over.

Yep. Jackson eats some mornings, two bags of little bites, fruit and an apple sauce for breakfast. Okay, wait, while we're on this topic really quick. Um, I saw a video of this mom who she's a mom of multiples, but I think this would apply to a child like just like an only child as well. She said when she comes home when her kids come home from school, they are so like they're ready to basically just like melt down because of having to hold their shit together all day at school. And she, sorry, the night before she actually packs like a bento box for all of her kids for when they get home from school, because they are so hungry that she gives them an entire meal essentially as soon as they get home and then they still eat dinner. But she was showing like what she does for when they come home because they're just, they're right, they've had to hold their shit together all day, you know.

And so she puts like a bento box together and you know, gives them like a quiet space, whether it's like a little tent, you know, those like little tents that they have. And I thought that was so cute. And I, I commented on the video because I was like, wow, like this is my kids. Like my kids just, they have been overstimulated by people all day, right? At school. And then they're start, my kids come home from school starving. So I don't know if the lunches are just not fulfilling.

If they're not eating enough. I don't know. Here's the problem that I think goes on at school lunch. I think that they are so much invested in the socialization aspect of the lunch room that they just dick around and then it comes time to leave and they're like, oh, we didn't eat. We didn't eat. So then all the food goes in the trash.

I told Jackson, I said, if I find out that you're not eating your school lunch and you are not doing what you're supposed to be doing, I don't care if you're socializing while you're doing it, but like be eating while you're socializing. You have to learn to multitask and that's something that you really struggle at. So take a couple bites, have your conversation repeat. That's Luxe can't, Luxe can multitask.

It's so annoying.'t Luxe multi task. It's so annoying. He loves turkey and cheese sandwiches. I don't know where he gets it from. I mean, I do love them too, but. Turkey and cheese. What kind of cheese? Like yellow cheese?

I mean, just like white American. He loves a good turkey and cheese sandwich. And so sometimes when we pack lunch, the other day he brought home a lunch, like the lunch box. Lindsay, everything was in there. And I said, Lux, why didn't you eat your lunch? And he was like, I didn't.

What were you doing, sir? Yeah, I was like, I didn't have time. And he said, well, when I started eating, they said I only had three minutes. And I said, Lux, because you can't do both. Like if you're, oh. Kristen just texted us and made a really good point. And this was Jackson's schedule last year.

She said that sometimes school lunch is so early that it's like 1050. So by the time they're getting home and getting settled down, Jackson- The snack is not enough. The snack that they get. No.

And at one point, I think Will was sending him damn talkies for snack. And I'm like, okay, talkies are not what needs to be going on. Number one, it's probably getting all over his school papers. So his teacher is probably disgusted by the time she goes to grade it. Number two, there is no nutritional value in that

whatsoever. Number three, that's not gonna keep him full. So I send, have you seen like the many cliff bars, the kids ones, they would probably be like perfect for like Lux and Creed, but not big enough for the older boys. I send Jackson a full size cliff bar and he absolutely loves it and eats that for snack every single day. But I told him, I said, if you, so he started getting sneaky, because kids are just sneaky. My dad has always said, children are natural born liars. Like my dad, he says, kids are natural born liars. So I told him, I said, if you come home and they're still

stopping your lunchbox, you're grounded. Like you need to eat your school lunch because there is no way that you are fueled to be able to be learning the way that you should be learning by not eating. So he started getting sneaky and he would throw everything away in the lunchbox even if he didn't eat it. So like a full lunchable, like anything, just everything. So then I told him that there was a spy in the lunchroom, which was my friend Caroline that that watched him and saw. Oh, did she work there? Well, she used to.

And I was like, I have a spy in the lunch room, and my spy tells me that you throw everything in your lunchbox away. So once he realized that he was being watched, he started eating, because kids, again, are sneaky. If they think that you know, they're less likely to do stuff. But if they think that you don't know, they're gonna, you give them an inch, they take 12 miles. Oh, trust me, I cried all weekend because

of a situation just like that. It's so annoying. So I told him, I said, that's fine because as your parent, I can communicate with your teacher. And if you're not eating your school lunch, then I'm just going to tell them to put you inside on lunch by yourself. Well, and then the other thing too is like, I, Lux told me he didn't have a snack the other day and I was like, well, just buy one at lunch. He has enough money basically for the whole year, even if he packs his lunch.

I said, make sure you just, if you don't have a snack or something, buy the snack at lunch. And he's like, I'm not allowed to do that. Oh, really? And I was like, if I put money on your lunch account. Oh, because you're probably not allowed to take it. If they eat school lunch, they're probably not allowed to take anything

from the school lunch out of the... But if he forgot a snack or he doesn't finish it, so you can take it out of your lunchbox, but you're not gonna let my kid buy a snack for later in the day. Anyway, I can't... No, I don't know that for sure, Kale, because I'm pretty sure that kids aren't allowed

to open their lunchboxes in the classrooms. Coffee Convos podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. While you're listening to us talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle,

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Share with the class. I literally cried all weekend because one of my children turned off all the parental controls behind my back off of their phone. And sitting on, it didn't dawn on me until we were sitting on the couch and like sometimes we just sit on the couch,

like we talk, we catch up on the day, whatever, whatever. And he's talking to me, but he's also playing a game on his phone and I look at him and I was like, wait a minute. I said, did you turn off the parental controls on your phone? And he just looks at me and he doesn't say anything. And I was like, I'm asking you a question. Did you turn off the parental,

like, because I'm not understanding, like I wanted to see what he was gonna say, but I also was questioning myself, like, did I not, turns out, my son, he's like, well, I didn't turn them off entirely. I didn't cry. I literally bawled my eyes out because I'm like, what am I doing wrong? But if you're saying that a lot of kids are like this, they're sneaky, and stuff like that, it's just weird because like Lincoln's not that way. And then- I don't know which child this is that did this.

And this child is very much you. And that's why you have such struggles with this specific child because it is like parenting yourself. I literally told him that, but I don't think he wants to hear that. I don't think he cares. I don't think. So I was like, now what am I supposed to do?

No, let me listen. It is not only your child or children. Every parent deals with this. Kids find loopholes and they think that they're smarter than you. And they think that you're not going to find out when in fact, most of the time I know what you're doing before you do it. And I let that shit slide until you put yourself in a position to where I can address it. And then you're far worse off because now I've let it go

on and I have been stewing like a fucking pot of chili. And I'm gonna call you, I'm gonna call you out. And we're in fact gonna have a family conference. So like your dad's getting on the phone, I'm gonna be on the phone and you're gonna be on the phone and we're both gonna call you out and you're shit. I just don't know what to do at this point because it's one of those things where we've talked about this before.

We need, well, not need. I don't feel comfortable at this point sending my kids to school without their phones. Just for the simple fact of like everything that's gone on with the shootings and also with the bullying and also just, you know, if Joe or Hobby or myself are running behind, my kids are car riders and the school is very, very like understanding and they know that all my kids are getting out around the same time. And so they have been understanding. But if I'm running five or 10 minutes late, I want to be able to text

my kids and be like, Hey, I'm going to get so until have been understanding. But if I'm running five or 10 minutes late, I want to be able to text my kids and be like, hey, I'm going to get so-and-so first. Like the other day I texted in the group chat with my kids and I said, I'm picking up Lincoln first and then Isaac because Isaac's older so he can wait outside or wait in the office, because they get out within five minutes of each other. So like I don't want them to not have their phones,

but how can I put the parental controls on when my kids are taking them off? But how do they take them off? Does it not have a password? He must have guessed it. Okay, so you're the type of parent that has, like my parents that have one password for absolutely everything

and you could hack their entire life. See, but I had to stop doing that because, did you ever see those TikToks that are like the password child? I'm the password child? Oh yeah, one of my siblings is the password child. Well, so, I had two kids. And it's not the one that you would think.

Oh, okay. So, I had two password children, and I had to stop doing that because I was using them for like my debit cards and stuff. And now I can't, I get locked out of every debit card because I don't know what's what, but I stopped doing that. So he must have guessed it. He must have guessed the password children.

He must have tried all their fucking, all their purpose. I wonder if I could do the parental controls through Verizon's website so that he can't take them off. I don't know, but let me tell you this. So I have a crazy story. It's kind of like a foul play, but also traumatizing as a mother. Oh, God.

I have a friend who has an older child. Do I know this friend? You have heard of this friend. Okay. Has an older child and they turned their location off of their phone. Oh no. This is a child that's like a driving age.

No, literally, no. But the phone company has a way on parental controls that you can log in and see where the phone is even with location services turned off. That's great. That's a great feature. So gives the child the opportunity to let her know, hey, where are you? Oh, I'm doing such and such for these children who need help.

Oh, really at 11 o'clock, you're doing that? No, you need to get your ass home because there are no children that are in fact out. So you just lied. So you need to specifically come home because your phone is actually pinging from a location that you just said that you were not at. Oh no. So gives the child the opportunity to come home

but wanted to really find out what was going on. So she was like, I'm gonna venture out. This is just a couple of minutes from the house, goes to see what was going on. So she was like, I'm going to venture out. This is just a couple minutes from the house, goes to see what's going on, passes her child's speeding back to the home. Okay. So now that's strike two, that's strike three, because you turned your location off, you've now lied, and now you're speeding. So that's strike three in your out. Oh yeah. Well, gets gets better. Shows up and sees another car there and Goes in knocks on the window of the car and asks. Hey, were you just with my child? Person is naked from

Shirt down like no naked just like straight up butt ass naked and just like straight up butt ass naked. And the person goes, hey, can I find my pants so that we can finish having this conversation? Sure, you can certainly find your pants. I actually need you to find your pants. Could not locate the pants because the pants were probably in the other car.

So, yeah. So then she was like, okay, I don't know if I'm gonna tell your parents, like I don't know how I'm gonna contact them. If I'm gonna contact them at this point, you guys are like almost grown. We're talking like 17 year olds. In fact, you don't need to contact my son

and like alert him that I've had a conversation with you and that I left my house because I'm going to go home and I'm going to have this conversation and I'm going to find out exactly what my child has to say. You are not to contact my child. Mind you, has parental controls on the phone so can see every number that is texting or calling through. Goes home, literally one of the kids fall out of the bed because she goes through there like a bat out of hell. This child thinks somebody's being killed in the home. There's a murder going on. And literally she starts beating on the bathroom door

and she's like, you have two seconds to get out here and have this conversation about what you were doing. Yep, have an unprotected sex. No. In a parking lot. No, not unprotected. I mean, if you're, they're gonna find a way to do it, but an unprotected sex. No, in a parking lot. No, not unprotected. I mean, if you're they're going to find a way to do it, but not unprotected. And then lion about helping needy children. That's so foul. That is so foul. 11pm. No. Yeah, like what needy first of all, we need to call 911.

But here's the thing, and I don't know if it's like because of strict parents or what, but like you know what kind of parent you have. Okay, but I am a firm believer that strict parents create sneakier children. For sure, but also all weekend, I was actually going back and forth with myself on that because I was like, I feel that my sons, all of them really, especially Isaac, Isaac has seen

me struggle, but he can't really remember the struggle as much as he remembers where we're at where we're at today, right? But like, my kids don't, thankfully, have to want or need for anything. And, you know, when we had the conversation about the phone, it was just like, you know, I'm not super strict. Like I do expect certain things like the parental controls. I don't expect to be lied to things like that.

But I'm like, this has to be some sort of reflection of me as a parent because I'm, you know what kind of parent I am. You don't have to lie to me. You could have just asked me, hey, like, do you mind if I stay on my phone for a little bit to finish playing this game or whatever it was?

Most likely I would have said yes had he asked. You know what I mean? So like, I just don't- But why are we sneaking around? You know what kind of mom you have. I don't understand. Yeah, why? But see, I have almost gotten that out of Jackson will is a very sneaky person

Okay So I think sometimes it's like inherited traits that your children get from parents like they're like either inherited or Learn behaviors because they've seen like one of their parents doing these things because they've seen like one of their parents doing these things. Jackson doesn't try to sneak around and do shit anymore because he knows that I'm gonna find out and it's gonna be far worse if you get caught lying to me than just telling me.

Like don't let me catch you after hours in your room acting like you're gonna play Fortnite on a Switch that I know is missing. Like nobody else came into this house and stole your stuff. And like I'm certainly not playing on your switch. I just don't, it's just, I don't know. And I didn't really have to sneak around when I was a kid because my parents didn't give a fuck.

So when my parents, my mom, and we didn't have phones. So that was the other thing was like, I mean, I was doing shit that I shouldn't have been doing, but nobody checked up on me. So I was just doing whatever I wanted, you know? I was doing shit that I shouldn't have been doing, but nobody checked up on me. So I was just doing whatever I wanted, you know? Like it wasn't like I thought I was gonna get in trouble or I thought I was sneaking around. Like I just, I knew that nobody was gonna check on me

so it didn't matter. But like Isaac knows what kind of mom he has. I don't understand. Okay, well, it's interesting because Will and I as a combo set of parents, Will is more strict, but very gentle in his delivery. I am more lenient and then like a tiger when you do something that you know that you shouldn't be doing. Because it's this idea of you know better so you should be doing better. Why are we even having this conversation

and why are you trying to act brand new? Like you didn't just show up. Yeah, I'm more like that as well. And I'm not super proud of that, because I don't think, because I also want my kids to trust me when they are in a bind or they're in like a pickle. Yes, I feel that way too.

So it's like, it's a double-edged sword because it's one of those things where I maybe emotionally react a little bit, but I also want you to like come to me if something's going on because I'm gonna probably get over it quickly and just be happy that you're okay. I don't know, it's just, I don't know. One last thing before I get into something else. I've been so clumsy today and it alarms me

because one time somebody told me that clumsiness is a sign of pregnancy. Have you ever heard this? I mean, yeah. Maybe it's like a wives tale. No, I mean, I think it's real because allegedly in pregnancy, like your brain shrinks and like whatever, all these things like pregnancy brain is like a real thing. So I wonder if the clumsiness is tied to the pregnancy brain because

of the shrinkage of your brain. I mean, it couldn't have shrunk that fast, honestly. And if it did, everybody should be very alarmed. I've dropped everything that I've touched today. It's like one of those days, you know, where everything that you pick up, you drop it, you drop it, you break it, you spill it. Yes. Okay. This episode is brought to you by IQ bar and I just placed an order. I'm always restocking IQ bars because Corey now thinks that they're his, so he takes them to work. He also is obsessed with the IQ Joe. I love the IQ mix, so it kind of only makes sense for us in our house to do the ultimate sampler pack, which you get seven IQ bars, four IQ mix sticks,

and four IQ Joe sticks. And today, our listeners get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus reshipping, just text Convos to 64,000. He is eating them out of house and home. His favorite is peanut butter chip, but I'm still ride or die with my chocolate sea salt. Kori and I are very similar in a lot of ways. So that makes sense why he would love the peanut butter chip. I cannot keep them in stock. It is one of my bi-weekly orders and I will always be a customer of IQ bar. Kale actually turned me on to the IQ mix. It's a drink mix that hydrates with electrolytes. It improves mood with magnesium and boost clarity with the lion's mane aptu-gen and they have so many delicious flavors, blueberry pomegranate, blood orange, peach mango, and lemon

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That's convos to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. And completely other news, I was hollering at this girl on this video that I saw and she was talking about names child versus the elderly. And this is a quote from her. She said, I really feel like we all need to go ahead and start picking out our old people names.

So when we turn like 50, we can have that all settled. I really feel like some of your names are a little too immature. It really makes sense to change your name. Why the fuck are you 69? Your name is Ashley. I'm not calling an old ass man Jamal. Not Jamal. I can't send this clip to my friend Jamal. No, but this goes back to remember when I brought up the baby name consultants like weeks and weeks and weeks ago, a lot of those like vintage they're calling it like a vintage name category. Yeah, they're coming back like Like those names are very much coming back and they're very much trending and they're they're in the category of vintage names. I personally hate them. I'm not naming my I don't hate them.

Okay. First of all, nobody's name and their kid Pearl like somebody actually listening to this probably has a pearl. So I'm going to take that. Opal, Mamie, Eleanor, who's Mamie? Look at me like that. I'm serious. I'm dead serious.

This is a trend. This is what people are doing. Nora, I mean, I don't think Nora is as like. Nora is so cute. Nora is cute. Nora is cute. That's the one that I feel very much fits the lifetime of the woman, the person, the girl.

It's cute when they're little. It fits someone they're elderly. Nora, very timeless. But these vintage, vintage, like I'm personally never naming my child Helen. My great grandmother was Helen. I don't like Helen. I don't, I love, I loved my Helen,

but I'm not, I don't love the name. Like I'm not naming, sorry, I love you Carol from the Kitty gang, but like not naming my child Carol Carol my grandma's Carol and she was born in like my she died in like the 2000s I don't know when she was born I'm just not like I don't know but okay for an 80 year old is crazy that's like Lindsay for 80 years old like like what are we doing that Nobody's calling me that. Well, you know what? My friend Bone, her real name is Bonnie.

And I'm like, that's perfect. You have like your younger womanhood, but also a fucking 85 year old named Bone is bad ass as fuck. So like, I kind of hope she carries that. I would stay away from her if I knew her at 85. And it was like, oh, this is Bone. Like want to hear all of bones life stories like my I'm My kids are gonna love hearing bone from bone when she's older Listen, I can't that's why I like presidential names because I think that they are timeless like Jackson

I feel like Lincoln. Yes. So I had actually posted on my Instagram like a while ago about people ask me all the time like share your names. And I know that you said you'll never share your girl name in the event that you ever have had a girl. And I don't even know what it is. But I actually won't use that one now because it's oh, it's trending. Yeah. And I also associated with like that baby daddy because I found it with that baby daddy. So like, I would never want him to turn around and be like, that was our name for if Luxor Creed was so funny that you say that because I have had that thought more recently about

baby names. And I'm like, okay, I can never actually have a patent now because if Will and I would have had a girl, it would have been, yeah, like it would have been JMP. You know, so patent can no longer be used. So if you guys like want to use it now, then, you know, feel free. I like that one because it's unisex, like you can use it for a boy or a girl. Okay, so that's what I was saying on my Instagram story that like I love presidential names and there are several presidential names that are unisex names that I would also use for a girl. I saw this post and I need to know here's my thoughts because like you posted this the

DMs of everyone messaging what their thoughts were. And I was like, is it Nixon? It's not Nixon, is it? Because I- There's three names. Okay, so Reagan, Kennedy, and then I don't know what the third one was, but then I was like, if it's not Nixon, I love Nixon. And I feel like it would be so fucking cute on a girl.

But you can't name, I can't have a Nixon and a Lincoln. Yeah, you can. Two presidents and then the rest of them are just fucking whatever I like. Listen, all my kids would be, if I had multiple kids, they would all be rolling around. It'd be like Washington, Jackson.

No, but I'm trying to think. Just if anyone's listening to this and they do love like the vintage name, presidential name, like all the timeless names, cause I feel like the presidential ones are very timeless. Yep. Can we all please make a pact within the Kitty Yang and Coffee Compos podcast that we are never bringing back the name Craig.

Oh, Craig, isn't that like the male version of Karen? Don't be a Craig. I mean, that makes sense. I'm pretty sure that that I just never want to bring up that name needs to never come back because oh Just getting Kyle Kristen said the male Karen is Chad whatever it was Craig to me It's like whoever you want it to be well Craig We need to make a pact that that one's never coming back because I just can't I Also need to come up with our old names

What's not Ashley and Brittany it No, Ashley and Brittany will be expired. Those ones are not going to make the cut. But yeah, what would we be? So Dingle and Dangle, Callie Lindsay, and then what are our, we need the kitty gang to name us. You know what? I might take Carol because that's my nana, that was my grandmother's name, or my nana's name was Helen.

I might take one of those. Kristen said Hazel and Madeline. What's wrong with those? I Feel like I like that line is not elderly. You can't that's like Maddie like calling someone Maddie Yeah, but I think it's kind of like Madeline Eleanor Hazel Hazel is a vibe like I just don't want to be Susan. My mom is Susan. I just don't I don't like Susan. Um, I actually have this is not like really a follow up, but it's like an extension on conversation

that we had before about kids and alarm clocks. It was this whole video about it and it was a doctor that was going through this and he was talking about a patient of his and the video was titled, Don't Be Your Child's Alarm Clock. Don't Be Your Child's Alarm Clock. I had a patient that I saw the other day that had so much depression and anxiety.

And when I went and dug into the issues that she was so upset about every morning was her teenage son would not get out of bed. So she would bang on his door. She would always be, and he would always be like, I'm awake. He wouldn't get up. So she would bang on his door more she would always be, and he would always be like, I'm awake. He wouldn't get up. So she would bang on his door more and he would finally be late to school and she would be angry.

And he would come out angry. It was just an ugly situation all around. My patient went on antidepressants by her family doctor. I think one of the hardest things of motherhood is that a child that grew inside your body and the child came out of your body, it was a helpless baby. You had to take care of everything for the baby. Every problem that the baby had, only you could address. And I think with women, this builds a habit

that every time they have a problem, you have to address it. These children become older and soon they become teenagers when they don't succeed and they're making mistakes and not doing what they're supposed to be doing, you feel like that's your failure. So women often feel anxiety about that and good parenting is about making consequences clear and then following through with them so that the child learns from their mistake and that's how a mother's love continues.

Kind of made me think about what you were saying with Isaac, I just called Isaac out about the controls. You said that you felt like a failure, like was it a failure in motherhood, why he would do something like that? And I don't think so. I think that sometimes with being lenient parents, we look at things that don't feel like a really huge problem and don't really react until it's like something really big.

And a lot of times I think with gentle parenting, we have to be strict on consequences. I think that's part of my downfall as well. And I told Isaac that, like, I tell all my kids, all my kids that, you know, like, I, I can only know what I know. I can't, I don't know what I don't know, right? And so I think part of the learning experience and part of my personal journey in motherhood has been trial and error with the consequence thing and the boundaries thing because I have

let what I would consider small things go and haven't stuck to my boundaries and my, you know, consequences and things like that. And so things like this happen. And so this just is like a almost like a natural consequence for me as a mom. As a parent. Yeah. As yeah, to be like, okay, yeah, this phone thing and he wasn't doing anything bad on his phone. And so normally I would have been like, oh, it's okay because you're just playing a game. But no, it's not okay because I set the parental controls and I gave you the phone under these guidelines and you didn't

listen. And then I do think part of it is human nature. Like you said, like kids are gonna test their boundaries and see what they can get away with. And so it's kind of a learning curve on both ends, but I just, what is the solution? Because obviously I need to be stricter with the consequences and the boundaries with myself and with the kids.

It's the follow through. You know, it's like you can tell your kids until you're blue in the face, like if you do this, this is going to be the consequence, but if you don't follow through with what that said and understood consequences, that was one of Will's biggest issues with me. He's like, you threaten, threaten, threaten, and then he does, does, does, and then there is never any follow-through with the actual consequence that you told him. And so I have gotten a lot better and have taken his advice on that and I make the consequences very clear. I make him repeat his understanding of the

consequence and when he does what he's not supposed to be doing, I don't even have to repeat myself. He knows when he hears Jackson Tyler, he's done fucked up. Well, so the other part of the phone thing was that he was supposed to go to the movies with his friend on Saturday. I didn't say this, but now it's like, okay, it's directly related.

We've talked about the consequence thing being directly related to the crime. Yep. And so emotionally I was like, give me your phone and you're not going to the movies. Do I think that the movie thing necessarily matched the crime? No, I don't think so. I think giving me the phone was the consequence. But then I turned around, his friend's dad called me. I was like, oh, we want to do invite Isaac to the, and I was like, because you called, I guess he can go.

And so then I fucked up because even if it didn't match the crime, I could have readjusted for next time. And should have, you know what I mean? And so this is the part of parenthood that I feel like nobody, everyone constantly talks about how hard it is in infancy and toddlerhood. Nobody talks about those teenage years. And in reference to the video that you just talked about,

yeah, teenagers need the most sleep out of all kids. And so it's like such a hard, that waking them up situation in the morning and they're, that you're miserable because you had to like fight with them to get up and then they're miserable because they had to get up. That to me, I think is just like a part, an unfortunate part of life because they don't fit. They don't public school systems don't, they can't because of parents working. They can't make a teenager school schedule fit like the circadian rhythm and like the nature of people's

sleep cycles, especially to teenagers because teenagers actually need more sleep than like the smaller children. Will have this exact problem. We don't have a teenager, but almost an 11-year-old. And he finally picked up the phone and called me. And he said, listen, I have a hard time with him in the morning. If he's late to school and you get the tardy notification on your text message, mind your

business because he is going to learn. And I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, but also I feel like it reflects poorly on us as parents. It does, which is not fair. Hard. You want them to learn that there are consequences for things like if you decide to lay in the bed and not show up for work, like there's a consequence for that, like same thing for school. And so I have a really hard time because I have become better or not being a helicopter mom. I was,

I used to be way worse whenever I was married, but now because of having to split time, I feel like that's just naturally helped me in that way. I can't get behind like the show on a blade to school. No, I can't either. And that's the one thing that I'm like, it goes against everything in nature for like the kids to get up, but also I just can't. And I told Isaac that I'm like,

and it's just so weird because also I think, I think you just said like genetics play a factor to some degree. Lincoln is up at the ass crack of dawn. Because also I think, I think you just said like genetics play a factor to some degree. Yeah. Lincoln is up at the ass crack of dawn. Like Lincoln gets up before I do just nature without an alarm. And his dad is the same way.

I don't know if hobby, I'm pretty sure hobby status is the same way. So I think naturally that is just something that Lincoln won't struggle with. But well, we'll flat out said he was like, if truancy shows up at my house, I'm going to straight up tell them talk to that boy because or come try to get him out of bed, get him out of the shower floor. Like, I don't know what to tell you. And then they're like, well, if he can't wake up in the morning, send him to bed earlier, that doesn't always help.

Like what time do you go into bed? It's five. We're not incompetent or like unfit parents. It's just the, like sometimes we just are going against the grain literally to get our kids to do what they need to do and it's hard. And I'm not trying to complain. So I don't want anyone to like hear this and be like, oh, well, this, this and this. But I'm just saying like the bigger picture.

Listen, the quote motherhood is the scariest hood that you'll ever go through. It truly is. I also saw this thing on Facebook on the mom life page and it says I'm sorry but gentle parenting is for gentle kids. I got gangsters. Can you send that to me? Yes, I will. I will send it to you. Step into a world of nonstop action on DraftKings Casino. Play the classics like Blackjack, roulette and slots plus enjoy exclusive games you can't find

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Romantic relationships are not, romantic relationships are not a necessity. Romantic relationships are not, describe romantic relationships. I don't know the person you'd be laying with, whoever you're laid up with. Some people are not romantic and you can still have a happy relationship. Yeah, but like I think it means like a relationship that you are like romantically involved, whether that person's a romance or not, you know, like. Oh, you mean like romance is like a sexual relationship? Yeah, I think like romance, in my opinion, is relative to whatever you think. So like romantic to me might be different than what it is to you.

Sexual relationships are a necessity to human beings and life. Romantic relationships, not for everybody. I don't like romance. I don't want to be wind and dine. I mean, I want to be fed, but I don't want to be like wind and dine with rose petals leading up to the dinner table. I don't want that. I don't want rose petals on my bed.

I never, never ever want that. I think post-divorce, another relationship, and the one that I'm currently in, do I feel like I thrive when I am in a super healthy and productive relationship? I do. I think it fills my cup in a way to where I can be whole in other areas.

But do I think it is a requirement? No. I don't think that I would just, I don't know, just peer off the face of this earth if I wasn't in a relationship. No, and I don't think that's healthy to have that mindset to think that like you have to be in something. I don't have to be in anything.

I want to be in something. And I feel most whole when I am. Well, I was gonna say like, I think companionship in general, I just think romantic is like a, not the right word, because you can have a life partner and it's just your best fucking friend and you all live together and you're doing life together

and that like fulfills some people, you know? And so I don't know, I feel like we're kind of on the same page with this one. Like I like doing life with someone but only doing life with someone if it is healthy doing life with someone. Like I have no desire to, at this point in my life and in my therapy journey, I have absolutely zero desire

to be doing life with someone, just to be doing life with someone if it's not healthy. Okay, that's fair. Next, hot take. Monogamy is not natural for human beings. Agree. Disagree. Actually, just so.

I think that's what's wrong with today's society. I saw a TikTok that was like humans have evolved to a point where monogamy is and should be natural, but the way that we are mammals and the way that we started, it wasn't necessarily that way. But in 2023, it should be unless you choose to like you choose otherwise. I think a lot of human beings are in a they're in monogamous relationships with people who are not in monogamous relationships with them and then it just goes on spoken and you know a lot of hearts get broken but for me I just feel like we have not evolved to the point where human I think at one point we did but

it was post us. I think that generations before us did that way better than what we do now. And I think it's because of the internet. So that's a good point. I still would love, both my grandpa, Carol and Bob are dead, Helen and Ralph are dead. But I would love to know if they ever experienced any type of infidel.

I would have loved to talk to them as a 31 year old adult and then like what were your struggles in your marriage? It's like fully transparent. Like that's something I would have loved to talk to my grandparents about because they were my whole world. Like I just love my grandparents so much. What did that be so cool for me to like interview or for us to interview my nanny? Yes, because I want to know.

To get like the mindset. For like her best friends or her friends, like maybe she didn't experience it herself, but like maybe one of her close friends or sisters or whatever relatives, maybe they very much did experience it. I don't know. I think that with social media and just the internet

in general, people, I don't want to just say like men, because that's what I'm attracted to and I want a man, have a man. But I think in my case, I think men see so many options out there that it's like this temptation. Well, it's instant gratification and always, you know, we've talked about this before, like always having the next best option at your fingertips. Yeah. And I don't want to be in a relationship like that.

I don't want to have that mindset. I feel like a lot of times people go wrong when they get into situations where they want to be in a monogamous relationship and the person that they're with, they haven't had those conversations. And the other person is in something that they feel like it's just like an unsaid. Or they have and the other person's just dishonest. Yeah, listen, our generation got a lion problem.

Okay, next hot take. Weight gain is a valid reason to divorce. Disagree. Absolutely, the fuck not. Absolutely the fuck not. For better or for worse, through thick and through thin, you should be your partner's number one. And this is going against everything that I did in my own marriage. And I'm speaking on experience. Like, when I was at my nastiest, highest weight after Lincoln, Javi did his best at the time to help me

get back to where I wanted to be and when I couldn't, I got surgery. But I think that you owe it to your partner to be honest and helpful and supportive, not tearing them down, not divorcing, not saying they're disgusting, but truly like helping them and being a support system to help them get back

to a healthy place if that's what you know both parties want or the person who has gained weight wants. Some people gain weight and are happy. I think it goes back to the conversation that we've had before about how you deliver a message, right? Like having open and honest communication, sharing your struggles with each other and making sure that that is a part of your relationship. So in the event that you cross bridges like this, that they're not detrimental to your relationship or your marriage, I don't think that weight gain would be a valid reason to up and divorce someone. And also, I don't, and going into the weight conversation, I just don't know if that's something that's like,

and I think it could vary by the relationship and the dynamic, but I don't know if I would be comfortable with a partner who came to me and just said, like, you're gaining weight. Like, I just don't, I don't like that. Or like, I don't think that there would be a way that I would receive that well, no matter how sensitively they brought it to me.

I don't think that I would be comfortable with my partner bringing that to my attention. I think we're our own worst critics. And if I say something to you, that's one thing. Yes. But I think if I didn't to you, that's one thing. Yes. But I think if I didn't ask, I don't know that I would receive it well no matter how nicely they bring it to me. Listen, this is another take on this entire situation, but is your relationship where

it needs to be? Because a lot of people, through depression and through emotional states of their life, they either cope with eating, could be binge eating, or not eating. I was the not eating side. I got completely unhealthy at the end of my marriage and was not taking care of myself. And so I think that at that point, your partner has to identify, okay, what have I done that could be causing some of these stressors? Or what can I do to help relieve some of, yeah.

Yeah, I don't, like I very much with all of my relationships have been pretty, because I'm very self, like people don't realize that I am self aware. And I have been very like, I know when I'm very self-aware. Like people don't realize that I am self-aware. And I have been very like, I know when I'm getting heavier and my weight has always fluctuated my entire life. I don't, I'll never be in a relationship

where a partner will have to say it to me because I already know and Chit's already brought it to them. But that's a really good point because some people will not eat and that's like a co, or eat, overeat. That's a huge- I think a lot of times in relationships or marriages, you have to have such a level of self awareness that this is a partnership. And if someone's struggling in something before you address that struggle with them, you need

to address how you contributed to that struggle. Right. Right. Also, the circles kind of back to the conversation about when I had just said earlier in the episode about not making Creed eat when he's not hungry. I think little things like that have contributed to, you know, when we were children, a lot of our parents forced us to eat when we weren't hungry or they said that we couldn't have this or we couldn't have that or we have made good foods, bad foods so scary.

Yeah. And so it forms bad relationships with food through adulthood. And I don't think that our parents knew that or they wouldn't have done it. No, I think it was like this idea of we need to feed our children and they were taught, okay, three square meals a day. Like I have heard Will's parents say that so many times. Like it's not an option. Like you get up, you eat breakfast,

you eat lunch and you eat dinner. Right, yeah. No, I agree with that. I wholeheartedly agree with that. Okay, next on here is do you take offense if your non-mom friends don't come to your child's birthday parties? No, because if I'm being perfectly honest,

I've said it before, I didn't really like kids before I had them. So if I didn't have friends that had kids when I was having kids, if I did not have kids at 31, I don't know if I would go to birthday parties. It would probably depend. Am I available? Do I feel like I want to go? Maybe still send a gift, but not necessarily go to the party? Like I think it just depends one on the relationship with the person and the kids.

And it also just depends on how you're feeling that day. Like why am I gonna go be an extra body at a kid's birthday party? I feel like I'm gonna be on two opposite sides of the spectrum whenever I was married and I had Jackson all the time, if we were invited to something and it fit our schedule, we were definitely attending.

Right. Because I had him all the time. Now, and several weeks ago, we were invited to one of my girlfriend's child's birthday party. And it was a weekend that I didn't have Jackson, Trent didn't have his kids, and we typically do adult things on the weekends

that we don't have our kids or sleep in on those weekends that we don't have our kids. And so if a birthday party is at like 11 o'clock and we've slept until 10, it's like we gotta wake up, eat breakfast, like get our day started. So I'm probably not going to attend that and it's not to be offensive.

I think I've become very selfish in that way. When I don't have mine, I don't necessarily want to be around someone else's. And a lot of that was protection for myself when I first got divorced because I think I was just bitter. Well, and also I don't want to be questioned about my divorce and split parenting time when I just got divorced. And like where's my child? You know, like that's just like a big, a big no-no. Okay, we have time for foul play. Okay, I'm going to read foul play. Skidmark edition. Not skidmarks.

But not in underwear. So my husband and I were in the starting stages of getting our groove on. We were already in the naked stage and he was on top. I love how she I love how it's stages for her. Yeah. I don't know what was going on but my thought was between his legs while he was thrusting his cash and process of it down. Okay. I have a very sensitive sense of smell and can smell his sweaty butt. He had been at the gym and jumped me prior to showering. No, no, that's where we went wrong. Well, we did the deed and went to the bathroom after I looked down and there is a legit skin mark at least four inches long and a good one inch wide on my thigh. I started gagging immediately and when I started thinking about the smell I was smelling plus a grown ass man's smushed turd residue on my thigh. I cleaned it off with a Clorox wipe while trying not to throw up and jumped in the shower. He showered after me. I never said anything to him because I didn't want to embarrass him,

even though we were super close and talk about gross stuff all the time. I have a turd. Oh, I have a hard rule that sex needs to happen after showers. He thinks I made this rule because I said I was becoming prone to UTIs. OK, I mean, I'm first of all, if I'm cleaning up any parts of your turd off of me, we're definitely having the conversation. I'm gonna tell you about yourself. No.

Because the fact that you skid on me, no. I would have been like her, I wouldn't have said anything. I would have just made the rule that I just feel better because I'm also self-aware about smelling. So like, I know, like I'll just smell myself all day because I want to make sure I don't stink. And so when Elijah gets close to me and I haven't showered yet, I'm like, please, like I'm almost like, like just don't like don't even hug me because I don't want you to smell my earrings. I don't want you to smell my neck. I don't want you to my

earrings. That's a thing. Yeah, but they're not just like getting smells in one day. You just never know. Like that's probably like over a period of time. No, I don't think so. I think they smell every day. I don't know. We need to pull this honestly. I think that might be a myth.

I'll put it down in my nose. Heck, I don't think earrings smell every day. I think if you're washing, if you're washing your ears and you're dialing them down, they should not be smelling every day. If it is an everyday thing, then maybe we have another issue that we need to address further than the dial. Okay. Also, back to this girl, or this woman.

I'm taking one for the two. No, I'm not. In this situation, I'm going to specifically specifically ask why did you just shit on me? Number two, if you have gone to the gym, you could potentially have staff infection on you. So like why are we coming home after being at the gym and doing the hokey pokey and you have swamp ass? That's a really good point that I never thought of. and doing the hokey pokey and you have swamp ass. That's a really good point that I never thought of. Not happening, like.

Or ringworm. That's disgusting. I had ringworm one time when I was a little girl on my ass cheek. I've never had ringworm, but that makes a lot of stuff like staff, any type of like dermatitis, contact dermatitis, anything like that.

That's a really good point. And I know lots, I know more men who will fuck after the gym than I know women who would do that. You know, I feel like a lot of women, and I'm not saying all because we do know some foul women, are gonna shower before they do the deed. I'm gonna shower anytime I'm gonna touch a surface of my home, especially my bedsheets.

Like I'm not going to get in the bed after I've gone to the gym and wallow around on my bedsheets and then sleep on that all night. Like I'm not smelling your swamp ass. You're not getting away with getting skid marks on me and we're not having sex after the gym. Like immediately no. Next foul play. I cannot believe that I'm telling you the story.

So please keep my name anonymous. Duh. I had been talking to this guy often on, but we had never done anything. He is an up and coming Texas country singer. So I went to one of his shows one night. I went back to his hotel after we ended up hooking up. While we were hooking up, one of my earrings fell out

and I just figured I would look for it the next morning. The next morning I searched the hotel room high and low and I could not find it. Finally, I just said, whatever, it's not that big of a deal. We hooked up on a Saturday night and the next Wednesday afternoon I was going to the bathroom and felt something weird.

My first thought was, oh my God, my IUD is falling out. I grabbed it and it was my freaking earring. What the fuck? How did that even happen? Mind you, I had also had an intense leg workout in between Saturday and Wednesday and never freaking felt it. I'm still shocked this happened to me.

I had to call my OBGYN and tell them my story to make sure that I didn't need to come and get everything looked at to make sure everything was okay down there. I'm still really freaking confused as how that happened and how I didn't feel it for days. That's crazy. I wonder how the fuck that happened.

Like would it not have, I don't want to get like too graphic, but like would it have not have poked his head? Well and would it not have like poked inside her vagina unless it was like a hoop and she didn't, oh my God, that must have been so weird. I it was like a hoop and she didn't oh my god that must have been so weird. I don't think a hoop could get up there. Well like a little like a little one like I have this little hoop right here. Yeah maybe that. And it doesn't have a clamp or anything like I would have to go to have these taken out with pliers because they're like. Oh so all of my earrings are from studs. And so mine all have the backs

that also have to be taken out with pliers. And I thought I was gonna hate it at first, but I am the type of person that if I don't have earrings in, I feel like I could have nothing else on, nothing else done. But if my earrings are out, I feel completely naked. Yeah, I don't, my first ones are out, like my first lobes are out, but like I don't ever

take my, my cartilages out or anything, but they're like the infinity ones that don't come out. So, but if it's like a pokey earring. Yeah, like how would the back not have been like, I hope she's okay. And I hope she didn't get an infection because of the earring, maybe the bacteria that causes a smell. I'm just wondering if like,

but even if it was on the bed, for example, and he was like fingering around, I don't think it would have just like slid up there. Maybe it was like, it fell into her underwear. And then the vagina just like absorbed it. Like that would have been like a Venus fly trap. That's so crazy. I can't imagine like Like that is so insane.

What went through her head, she was probably like, she probably still thinks about that randomly from time to time and it's like, I don't know how like. No, immediately, immediately if I found an earring in my vagina, I'm going to the ER. I'm sorry. I didn't, that's, that story did not go where I thought it was going to go. I thought it was going to. I thought she was going to find a condom somewhere. I thought she was gonna go. I thought it was gonna go. I thought she was gonna find a condom somewhere. I thought she was gonna find another hose earring.

Oh. Like she found hers on the floor, but she also found another one. That's where I thought it was going. The lost earrings. That's what we're gonna dub this. Okay, last foul play. Oh boy, you ladies are in for real treat.

The other night, my husband and I are having sex and we're done with all the business. He gets up to head to the bathroom. Let me paint the picture. Please gets up to head to the bathroom. Let me paint the picture. Please do, but please don't. I'm still on the bed on my hands and knees after finishing in the doggy position. Not even two seconds later, I start queefing where one small one leads to a ripple effect

of multiple queefs at the same time. I could not stop laughing to the point I said, Oh, no. And my husband went what from the bathroom? I started to pee on my bed while queefing and could not stop. I tried to move off the bed as my husband is telling me to get off the bed. And the next thing I know, I'm like a dog lifting my leg, trying to get off the bed. And I'm continuing to pee down the side of the bed, eventually standing up in a puddle of my pee, but as naked with my husband looking at me from the bathroom and utter shock, it's safe to say I was in a very vulnerable situation. What an evening. Hope you ladies know how much I love your podcast. I've been an avid listeners since

day one and wish you both the best. Well, first of all, thank you for listening to our relationship for so many years. Thank you for also wishing us the best because we truly need it. And after this story, I honestly need it anymore because I have secondhand embarrassment for her. Just like, I've been there, like I, I've told the story about like, I had never queefed in my life. And so when I first had sex with the very first time, I didn't even notice the sound at first.

And I was like, what the fuck? And then I just grabbed it because I was like, what is like, why am I making like, and he just laughed and was like, what, it's normal. And it wasn't normal to me. Like that was not normal to me. That never happened to you. Never in my fucking life.

And I, it's just, wait, so you just like grabbed it? Yeah, because he, he had gone out to like, I know this is gross. And like, this was like fucking seven years ago. So like, please do not crucify him for this. But like, at the time, he's gonna flush the condom. I know that's like not something that we do today, but just put hot sauce on it. Um, just didn't. So he had like gone to the bathroom and he like was, he came back and was like standing in the doorway and I was still in the bed and I was like, oh my, oh my God. And I just like, and I was just, I'll never forget it was humiliated.

I never humiliated. So you're just laying there. I'm trying to imagine. I was kneeling like I was up like on my knees on the bed like just grab it. Oh my god. Trying to hold it in. Yeah, because I was like I don't and I didn't want him to think it was a fart. But like if I had to guess who's very very much experienced before me,

I wasn't and so I didn't know that that was like a normal thing that could happen. Good one. I can't. Okay, if you guys have not followed us on at Coffee Convos podcast on Instagram, you can follow us there. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app where every of your podcasts always first at podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. I'm Lola Blanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth And we're the hosts of Trust Me, the podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the abuse of power. Now on Podcast One, we're real

life cult survivors. And we're here to tell you anyone can join a cult. If you've ever dived head first into a new self-help program, or believed wholeheartedly in a spiritual practice, or even just trusted someone with your life. Guess what? You're just as susceptible as everyone else. No one is safe, especially not Megan. I'm the most susceptible. We want to debunk the myth that people who join cults are uneducated or naive or broken because anyone can be manipulated by a narcissist or feel good in a new group they've joined. And we should know we both have been. Join us every week as we explore the world of extreme belief, talk to survivors and experts, and share our own experiences with cults and the abuse of power.

Don't be fooled, you might be next. Get new episodes of Trust Me every Wednesday on Podcast One, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and anywhere you get your podcasts.