Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - The Baby Daddy Math Is Not Mathing

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

CC 474: This episode of Coffee Convos gets real, chaotic, and way too relatable as Kail and Lindsie dive into everything from the realities of co-parenting, budgeting, and raising kids in completely different parenting styles. From hot takes on “baby dad math” to brutally honest conversations about what they’d actually change about their childhoods, nothing is off limits. The conversation spirals in the best way-covering missed flights (and fake missed flights), questionable life decisions, hyper fixations and the kind of friendship that calls you out while holding you down. There’s also a deeper layer as they reflect on gratitude, personal growth, and how their perspectives on life, money, and motherhood have shifted over time. Plus, a wild Foul Play story that takes a turn no one sees coming.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by booking.com. Here's the thing. Most vacation rental hosts don't even realize they can list their properties on booking.com. And if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of booking.com travelers worldwide. After all, they can't book what they can't see, right? Don't miss out on consistent bookings and global reach. Head over to booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen. Get booked on booking.com. Hey, y'all, it's Lindsay. I just wanted to hop on here really quick before the episode starts and let you guys know that this was recorded prior to any recent events. So if you're listening and feel like something isn't being addressed, that's simply because of the timing. I'm going to be taking the time that I need to process some of these things and handle it in the right way. And I really appreciate you guys giving me that space. And I just appreciate your love and support more than you know. It truly means everything to me. hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Crisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does

not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. All right, everyone. Good morning and Welcome back to another episode of Coffee Combos podcast. This is also not ADHD podcast because we're both on meds. I thought about getting a puppy and naming them ADHD, but like 80, the number, HD, you know, and call them 80. I thought you weren't getting any more dogs.

No, I'm not. That's why, like the idea sounds good, but the reality is not a good idea. Same for another baby, right? Like, I have 12 names on my baby name list ready to go. Like, I wish that I used them and I'm never going to get to use them because the idea of having a baby is so cute and whatever, but like not happening. I think I talked about it last week or the week before. Like, Javi and I had a really productive conversation talking about moving in the next

couple years out of Delaware. And if I was to have another baby, no. That would prevent you moving. It would just add another layer of complication. And like, when we're, when I'm planning to move, the babies I currently have are about to be, they'll be either in preschool, like four year preschool or they'll be headed to kindergarten. So it's like, I don't want to then add an infant into the mix. Do you know what I mean? Okay. Let me ask you this. This is going to be a controversial topic. Great. If you did,

like hypothetical situation, you had another baby, would you go back to the like pool of men that you've already had kids with and have one with one of those? Or would you do a donor or would you do your current relationship? Because like another baby daddy is crazy. No, another baby dad. sounds insane. I didn't think that far into it either. So also for the sole fact that I do not want to add any more people, but like if I was going to have another, like it wouldn't be fair to Ike if I then went to the sperm bank, you know, like that would be weird. So I think it's just best that I don't procreate anymore. You know, like I have my hands full. And like the age that the babies are at right now is so fun and funny and entertaining that like I'm like really want to hold on to it. If I was to

add another baby into the mix, I wouldn't be able to enjoy like this age right now. with the babies. I get that. So I asked that question because I had a previous relationship that I said, okay, I am, I'm certain that I want another baby, but it's not going to be with you. Oh. And what did they say? How did they react? I remember this conversation distinctly. I was sitting outside on my porch. And I said, we really need to have this conversation because I want another baby and the option is going to be my ex-husband. I don't think that's crazy. And I've said that before.

Like, I don't know if you guys remember. I used to say it about Chris. Obviously, thank God things have changed. But I used to say that about Chris. And people would say that I'm crazy. But it was like, to me, it makes sense. But also, we were at the Lincoln Soccer tournament on Saturday and we ran into Lowe's. And if anyone remembers Lowe's from last podcast tour, he was like the hype man, security, whatever.

He's great. And he was telling me how, I think he said he's 36 now. And he's like, I really want a baby. He's like, but the relationships that I've been in have not worked out. And so I really want to consider a surrogate with an egg donor. So that way, someone could come in and there's no X to worry about. There's no tie to it. Yeah.

And I follow someone like that. His name is Matt on TikTok. And he's a gay man. I think he lives in the city. And he opted for a surrogate and an egg donor to raise a son because he wanted a child. And I feel like, obviously, I love Elijah as my kid's dads. and, you know, hobby's a good dad. But, like, I, if I could go back in time and have the exact same kids with a donor.

You and I talked about this on the phone the other day. Yeah. Like, if we could have the exact same kid, I wouldn't. I would have the exact same kid with the exact same person that I had the kid with. I don't know. And obviously does not apply to you because you have multiple baby dads. Well, one's about to fall off because once this, once the, once the kids. kids 18, the dad doesn't exist to me anymore. Like, it never happened. Oh, wow. So I'm about to only

have two and an ex-husband. That's a hot take. Um, it's a joke. That's really fucking interesting. I, I'm speechless and normally I'm not. I will say, the more I thought about having another child, I'm like, I just have to go back to the drawing board that I once was at. And we've been able to co-parent, I will not say seamlessly, because I think every co-parenting situation has their bullshit. Not perfect, but pretty perfect. I mean, yeah. Even like the bumps in the road that you guys have encountered are, there was no way to avoid them, right? Like all the ebbs and flows of you and will co-parenting, I do feel like that is just like still. at least from what I can remember, like a very like normal, mostly copacetic.

A lot of the problems that we have had have been pride and ego. Yeah. And the fact that we're not together. And so I think he struggles that we're not like making decisions together in the same house. And I struggle with that exact same thing. So it's more like a power struggle of bitch, you don't get to tell me what to do anymore. Yeah. type of situation. But would I absolutely have another kid with him if I was going to do it? Yes. And I also know pretty much what it's going to look like. I just will know that I follow him on Instagram. I mean, I'm sure he does. Like sometimes I want to reply to the story, but like out of respect for you. Like I don't. Oh, I don't care. But like I, and I've said it before. Like I like Will. He's funny. Like he's like at least when I met him, obviously, I don't know

the ins and outs of y'all's relationship. But like, I don't know. I feel like he's my friend too. Will and I... Will's going to hear this and be like, I'm not that bitch's friend. Well, no, he actually does not ever have anything negative to say about you. I really wanted him to see your post of him on the fathead because I wanted, I so bad wanted the drama for him to say something to me about it and he didn't. And it kind of... I so bad wanted the drama of him to say something.

It pissed me off. I'm like, why are you so unbothered? Should I post it on my story and then tagging? him. You know, he got accused by a girl that he was dating and I found comments on Reddit where the girl that he was dating like during the tour time thought that Will was on tour with us. And then you post that fathead photo and it actually, if you're just like swiping by, it looked like he was in the audience and I was like, oh wow. Is that not so funny? It's so funny. He said he was on the way to the airport. Like he was going on a trip and I was.

was going on a trip. And she asked him to send, like, photos and to send information to prove that he was going where he said that he was going because you and I were just key, keying around acting like people were going to be at the tour. They weren't. Remember that? It was funny. Like, that was like, funny. The lore. And people were like, Will's actually back in, like, the green room. Remember that? You know, so there's that way. Remember when I told you that story about, I was basically being a predator against Will and making fun of him for, making fun of him for, like, not being able to get on his flight. And I was like, ha ha. Like, he, remember he last minute, like, didn't tell me he was going out of town?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't make his flight? He didn't make his flight that day. So he had to go to his parents, sleep at his parents' house, and then try again the next day. Well, then I get to the airport yesterday. Don't tell him you ran into him at the airport. No, he's on a cruise. That man be on a cruise. So I get to the airport yesterday and realized that my flight has been delayed. And I posted it on my Instagram story and everybody was like, that's what you fucking get. See, that's the kind of karma I can get behind. But what's so funny is like Lindsay would probably never miss a flight. Will's missing a flight. I miss flights like it's my job. I just don't see how that happens. The only time I've ever missed a flight was when I was drinking at P.F. Chang's.

Oh, I forgot about that. And I missed the flight to Mexico. Right. And had been there for hours. Specifically so you could drink at P.F. Chang's. Correct. I don't know why. I started missing flights probably in 2015. Like I've been missing flights for a long time because I used to go visit my, she's a good friend of mine, Tony.

I think you know who she is. She lives in Vegas. So like when I started, we used to go, like I used to go see her in Vegas once or twice a year. And then she'd come to Delaware once or twice a year. And then that's when I started missing flights. Right. This one's for all our TV lovers. My Entertainment from DirecTV gets you 60 plus channels and Disney Plus, Hulu, and HBO Max all in one pack. But here's the thing. With so much great TV and My Entertainment, you're going to want to talk about everything that you've been watching.

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Yep. Okay. Well, I have booked flights to like go somewhere to do things with people and straight up lie and say I miss my flight, but I never fucking went to the airport. What? What? What? Yes. What do you mean?

Like, I can't say no. So I'm just like, okay, my karma is I'm paying for this flight and I'm not getting on it. But I never went to the airport. Give me an example. Like one time I was going to go and meet one of my girlfriends in North Carolina. And I just couldn't tell her no because she was so excited. And I was like, what's the one way I can get out of this? And so I did it that time.

Another time, I didn't know if I wanted to be in a relationship still or not. And I was supposed to be going to Mexico. And I lied and said I had COVID. That I remember. But I was really just at home. Okay. I mean, harmless lies. And then I'm being a guest man.

Harmless lies. Another live told was for Chrissly knows best, I said you guys need to give me a schedule seven days in advance. If you think I'm boarding a flight last minute, I'm absolutely not. You give it to me two days in advance. You go ahead and book that flight, sister, because guess who's not going to be on it, me. But you know the best part of that, though, is that if someone else books your flight in your name, you get the credit for it.

even if you didn't. So it's like, thanks. Shout out to NBC Universal and USA Network. Thank you so much. That surprises me about you because you're so direct with me that really surprises me. I mean, I think that used to be like my couple years ago era, you know, where I'm just like, I'm not really trying to piss anybody off, but I know this is going to piss them off. But like, how can they get pissed off if I missed a flight, you know? Like. One time I actually, when I went.

was supposed to have Matt on my podcast in 2024. It was on my actual birthday, March 14. You lied to Matt? No, I didn't lie. I missed my flight. And there's, because Birmingham Airport is so small, there was no other flights out that day. So at that point, I couldn't reschedule it because I think I was only going to be there for like, like a travel day, record, and then a travel day. So then we, I literally couldn't go. And it wasn't until like the next month or two months. And then I was nervous because I was like, people in this industry are, you, you have to get them. while you can. And if that opportunity passes, you most likely are not rebooking with them. And maybe he would have hated you. Yeah. But he was nice enough to, like, I was really upset

because I was really excited for that. And then he actually ended up like booking with me again, which was really nice. See, you didn't do it on purpose. The stuff that I did was like blatantly intentional. And then I took it like such steps further that I pretended that I actually missed these flights like on Instagram or I pretended like I had COVID on Instagram. How? What do you mean? Like you posted like yourself like face to camera. Yeah. Just like in the bed like my feet out, you know. Missed my flight. Miss my flight. We need to do an episode like added value content of us going through our camera rolls. Oh God. Unprompted. I will show you guys my camera roll right now and I don't know if you'll laugh or cry. Why is there an Ninja Turtle on there just like so casually? All of my camera roll,

currently right now are screenshots of me fighting with someone, literally. And then like evidence to support my fight. Claim. Yeah. She'll send me the most random screenshots of her like in a text argument. And I'm like, I need help. Did you get the pick? Yeah. Oh, did I get it? Kail Lowry. This is what I did last night. Were you on AI? Yeah. It doesn't really look AI, though. It looks real. Well, this is the original. Let me send you the original. Because like, don't fuck with me. Like, you're fucking with me. And I'm literally telling ChatGTPT to create a new image of you. Let me tell you something. Yeah, actually. This is Evergreen. Okay. This story. Actually, I have two stories. One is Chat Chupit and one is last night. Today, not today. Last night, I'm on Chat Chupit asking ChatGPT to help me create parameters to give away two free tickets to every tour date. Okay.

And I'm like, can you create a giveaway with rules where you have to follow the podcasts on this network and then comment below what city you're in or whatever, right? And then I get while it's creating this rule, these rules, I think to myself, that doesn't make sense because one, it's a lot of shows, it's a lot of steps and then it's only one giveaway. So I type into chat ch pt actually create one giveaway per city so that they're all individual giveaways because it doesn't make sense to do one big giveaway and then have all 20 cities people Yeah, that's too much. And it's only one time people get their eyes on it.

So if I do it per city, that makes more sense. Chat GPT, I will literally pull up what it said to me the way that it boosted my confidence so fucking good. Hold on. Did you screenshot this for yourself? No, I didn't realize that when you go. on chat GPT, you can, like everything that you've ever, ever, ever done on chat GPT, it saves it for you.

Oh, wow. So for some people, that's horrible. For me, it's great because I don't do anything weird on here. So I, Ninja Turtle request, fatherless behavior tour giveaway, a funny birthday message, like stupid shit. I'm asking chatypte. So it says. I'm so excited.

Oh, my God. Yes, that's actually a much smarter marketing play for your tour visibility. That's all I needed to hear. Kale said, ma'am, I am now in marketing and PR. Marketing and PR. Chat GPT said that, yes, that is actually a much smarter marketing play for your tour visibility. Do you want to hear what other things I've asked Chat Chbett to do? Yes.

I don't even know how to find my history on ChatGPT, but I can tell you right now, I would probably go to jail if someone's all it. Driving while deaf. Huh? Driving while deaf. Can you? I thought maybe it would be illegal. because if you put like headphones on or something, I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Okay.

So I was like looking that up. Remember that one time I asked you on the podcast? Like, are you an at-fault accident if you sneeze and hit somebody? That is at fault, I think. It's like, it's like... That's basically like a deer jumping out. It's kind of like, you know how some versions of manslaughter are not intentional? I think it's like that.

But also, I just remembered looking through my search history on chat GPT, TikTok, like the entity, TikTok, put my 1099 on TikTok. No, no, no. They sent me somebody else's, which means mine went to somebody else. Oh, my God. Now that reminds me, I still have not heard back from their legal team. And Nicole went to a conference with the TikTok attorney and said that there is only one attorney at TikTok. How does TikTok have one attorney?

But anyways, so then I put suing TikTok for a 1099 issue because now my social security number. So now TikTok has my fucking 1099 floating around in the abyss and it has my fucking social security number on it. So then I asked sneezing glitter, can you create a picture of me sneezing glitter? I saw an NBA player signed something with the court for child support where I guess the mom allowed him to pay like $1 million up front, which would be the entire child support for 18 years. And I looked it up to see if that was a thing. And like judges are really apprehensive to do that. Yeah. Because if the parent then makes more money at any point, the child is deserving to benefit from that in some way. And so I just looked that up because I was like,

this is so fascinating to me. Like, I don't understand why anyone would do that. But anyways, Those are some of my, those are some of my chat chippy searches. So before I even knew anything about like AI or anything like that, Jackson used to be so obsessed with LeBron James. So somehow my dad figured out how to do a video of him like talking to Jackson and I played it on my phone. And Jackson believed it for like an entire year. And then when AI, like Jackson became aware of AI, he was like, y'all lied to me. me. Oh. You all lied to me. And I'm like, we were not trying, we were just trying to like bless you. Is that not so sad? Let me tell you about a hyperfixation of what I did, which I had absolutely

zero business doing. So before I came here, I was like Saturday, I'm going to like set time aside and I'm going to go shopping because I haven't done that in a while and I really just, you know, need to get out and about. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to go do that. I'm going to pick myself up some takeout. I'm going to get my nails done, come home, take a bath, get in the bed. And go to bed super early, get up, pack, get my shit together, not miss my flight. Or lie about missing your flight. Because I was not doing that to you. Well, I go on my Instagram DMs and I see that there is a lady who is a needo plug.

And she has sent me all these videos of all of these needos that she has. And she's like, well, and in the video, she's like, well, I was going to save these mini cubes for myself. but I mean, I guess, like, if you want them, I'll give them. First of all, that's the first thing that I want. So, like, I need those. Okay. And then she had, like, the ripple balls and, like, all this stuff. I want a ripple ball. So I text Kiel. And I'm like, hey, should we do a Nito giveaway on coffee combos? Because we can't stop talking about Nitos. Like, it's a true hyper, joint hyper fixation. Kail's like, yeah, but we're not giving away one of those ripple balls because I want one. I said, please get them, but not, I have to have one of them. $276 later, we're now going to have a coffee combos giveaway and Kail's going to get a ripple ball. But not the two nitos right here. These glitter cubes, ice cubes, are not for giveaways. What are those for?

Sorry. Kail's going to knock me out. Kail's literally. I'm being abusive. I'm so sorry. I know. That could have. I actually have never touched a needo as many needos that Jackson has.

I'm only allowed to touch the off-brand ones. So this is like a first time for me. I will say. So the thing about Nitos is they're not all the same texture. The different Nitos have different. This is my favorite texture. I got the ice cream popsicles. They're like, you know those like rubbery, sticky things that like you can throw and it like

sticks to a wall? Like slappy happies? Yes. Yes. The popsicle ones, they're at home. I'll bring one tomorrow. That's how they are. That's not what I'm looking for.

This is the type of texture that I want. I don't care about anything else. Do you know one time Kyle and I got my parents pulled over leaving Chuckie Cheese back in the 90s from Sloppy Happies hitting the back window of the car? I mean, not the worst memory. It's kind of funny. It's kind of like we're about to get our ass beat because our parents believe in spanking. So, wait, I threw one up. I went to visit one with my friend, Lauren, in fourth grade, and I threw it up. The mom specifically told us not to do it. And we were at like some place visiting. But we're doing it. And I did it. And I was like, it was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. And she goes, I literally thought about this last night. How crazy. And she literally yelled at me and was like, yes, you did. You knew what you were doing. And it reminded me of the fucking dumpling, you know, video. Also, you're not my parents who don't talk to me like that ever again in my whole life. Yeah, like, I know you told me not to do it. But. Keep those thoughts inside.

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get 20% off their first purchase when using the code coffee at checkout. That's an additional 20% off better plant and better growing at fastgrowingtrees.com using the code coffee at checkout. Fastgrowingtrees.com code coffee. Now's the perfect time to plant. Let's Let's grow together. Use coffee to save today. Offer valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Like when you were a kid, did other people's parents parent you?

Yeah. Like I would tell you what to do? My mom gave permission for other people to beat me. Oh, my God. Specifically one time, me and this girl. The mom's name was Terry and the daughter's name was, I don't know, but she was fucking mean to me. She bullied the fuck out of me.

What the fuck was her? Alicia. Her name was Alicia. Her mom's name was Terry. And it was like a single mom and the daughter. And we were having to sleep over at her house. And there was paint in her room to, I guess maybe they were doing like painting the walls. So me and Alicia started painting the walls.

And we got it everywhere. My mom gave Terry permission to whoop me. She spanked you? Yeah. Oh, see, my parents would never allow that. Susie wasn't around. Do you know what I mean? But that daughter.

Alicia, you were so mean to me, and I hope one day I run into you again. Like, I would just love to hear like what your recollection. You were fucking mean. You bullied the fuck out of me. So please, I hope I run into you one day. She follows you on Instagram. I wonder what her last name is. Terry and Alicia.

That's doxing. No. What do you mean? You can't give a last name. I don't know their last name. You're like, I'm trying to remember it right now so I can dox you. I need to ask somebody. If I ever talk to Susie again, I'm going to ask because

I want to know. She was so mean to me. Like, I don't know if this is like a geographical thing, but back in the 90s and the south, you were getting switched. Like, you go pick your own switch. You go outside, pick your own switch. And your grandmother or granddaddy, they ripped that thing, tore the leaves off of it. And your legs were getting tore up. Which is so interesting because I feel like in like northeast where I grew up, like spankings and whippings and things like that were also a thing, but not a switch. Maybe it was just like a 90s thing. It was more like objects, like my mom whipped me with a fly swatter one time. It was like a fly swatter with a shoe. It was a shoe fly swatter. Not like the plastic square. Or she'd put soap in my mouth or hot sauce in my mouth.

Oh, I got soap in the mouth. Like you had to bite into the bar. Oh, no. She just rubbed it on my tongue. Oh, absolutely not. Now I'm being traumatized. So we're going to get into 36 questions to to fall in love. Ooh. The first one, given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Anyone in the world? I'm picking someone business-minded. The first, the top three business-minded people that I would go.

I'm saying Alex Earle. I was going to say Alex Earl. Alex Earl is in my top three, post-Malone, and then also Chris, Chris Jenner. Okay, if I'm going like business and I, like, hear about my life and my family. future, I'm going Alex Earle. If I'm going, I just like really want to be entertained and I also want them to sing to me, then probably George Strait. If I want to know about a lot of things that have transpired in somebody's life, I'm going Miley Cyrus. Ooh, Miley Cyrus is a good one. You know, Alex Earle sold $5 million with her of her skincare brand in the first like 10, 12 minutes.

So maybe Alex Earl's dad. If you hear this. She probably has like a marketing team behind her for that. Because she did a whole video on TikTok going through what she did to Easter egg her skincare line, which I'm like is so smart because basically we all need to take a page out of her book. But like she properly Easter eggs. We're out here like throw in shade Easter egging. And then people are like, fuck y'all. You know what?

When I was at the hair salon the other day, somebody was telling me that Chris Jenner started to start. is a flight attendant. And that's how she met Robert Kardashian. And I'm like, okay, so do I need to sign up for Delta? Honestly, I thought about being a flight attendant before and it just doesn't sound like anything I would ever want to do. It just doesn't sound as good as like what the perks might be. I mean, I'm just saying if we could become, and it kind of falls into the next question, would you like to be famous and in what way? Like, truly, this might be taboo and it might be controversial, but I think that Chris Jenner has a brilliant mind when it comes to business. I agree.

And regardless whether you agree and align with the things that some of the things that they've done, totally okay. If I could be a flight attendant and find a Robert Kardashian, where am I going to school to like get to be a flight attendant? And like what airline am I going on? Because I would do that. You know who else is a really, really good business mind who is actually behind skims and good American, I'm agreed.

Really? She's, I think she's worth like $360 million. That's insane. Number one, would you like to be famous? No. I think that fame comes with such a high price that there is no amount of money that would pay for that. Yeah. And you could be famous and be.

broke. Like you can be famous and very well known and everybody knows who are and be broke. For sure. So like fame does not sound fun to me. You know what sounds like really appealing to me is building like a, what do they call those houses? Like they just like show up. You know what I'm talking about? Like barn dominiums. Like building a barn dominium on a spread of land and having some ATVs and some chickens, with that being said, not having a job. It's so crazy, too, because now with the way that things are in the world, I feel like it's so much easier for people who are famous to not live in California. Where before, for our entire lives, you had to be in New York or L.A. to be famous, to continue

doing what you're doing. But now with the times changing, you can literally live anywhere because all it takes is a flight or a Zoom call or whatever it is to do to still have a meeting or whatever. So like I could totally see myself. No, obviously Yellowstone, Beth Dutton comes from money, like all the things. But could I see myself living in Montana just like off the grid and no one ever seeing me? Absolutely. Okay. So before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Sometimes. It depends what does that look like. Well, it depends if I'm excited. It depends if I'm mad. It depends if I'm crying. Like let's say before you call me, are you rehearsing? because it definitely doesn't sound like you've rehearsed anything. No. Usually I'm stuttering and not knowing what the fuck is going on. You're like, hey, so.

This is what's going on. I don't know what to do about it. And now I'm thinking of solutions in real time while I'm on the phone with you. So yeah, sometimes no. I will say if I am going to be going through a breakup and I'm doing it over the phone, which is so immature. Is it though? Like the more I grow up, it's like, I don't know.

Like, who gives a fuck if it's in person? or not. Okay. So I one time was in this relationship with someone that I could just like never tell them no. And so I knew that if a breakup was going to happen, which it was, it was going to have to be over the phone. So you did it over the phone? Yeah. I am not mad at that. Yeah. But sometimes am I proud of that? No, because I feel like I would like to think that I'm strong enough to be able to do that conversation in person and then walk away with the clarity. However, in that specific situation, with somebody that I could not tell no and needed to probably repeatedly be telling that person now.

Yeah. If I did it in person, my breakups just wouldn't happen. You know? Exactly. You would have like, like 19 boyfriends. Yeah, I would just be like, all right, it's fine. We'll just stay together. And then I would date somebody else and then same thing.

So it's not really a great idea. Like, whatever. I don't really talk on the phone that much. Like I call, since December, I probably. talked to Kail the most on the phone and we don't really like talk that much on the phone. But since December, I feel like we're on the phone a lot. We just cold call each other. Yeah, whereas we never did before. Well, we didn't really talk before. Um, okay, what would you constitute a perfect, what would constitute as a perfect day for you? Ooh, uh, with kids or without

kids? We can do both. Okay. Without kids, probably I'm by the pool or a beach and I'm reading books and I'm eating some combination of Indian and Asian food. Okay. And maybe taking a nap, but maybe not. What about you? If it's going to be like constitute a perfect day for me if I'm at home, then that's going to be like I sleep in. I casually get up, have my morning drink, whether that be a londy or coffee.

I thought you were going to say like a. I get some laundry started because I don't like it just laying around and I feel like I have to do something that feels somewhat productive. And then take a shower, only do skincare, go and get my nails done, maybe go to a massage, maybe grab some lunch out, come back home and go back to bed and watch a documentary. Yeah, that sounds perfect to me, like literally perfect. A perfect day with my child would be to literally just like play board games at home, watch sports, play basketball outside, like not leave the house. Same. Like we could play all the sports at home in our yard.

But then also I got these like little things from Amazon that have the compartments for snacks to a movie night. Lux and Creed are big on movie nights. So doing the sports and things, board games at home. They grow out of movie nights, though. I used to do it with Jackson all the time, and now he's 13, and he's like, Mom, I'm not watching Mistal Tire again. Yeah. Lincoln will do it, but Elliot is, I mean, he's 16 and he's like not right. Like, he'll do it, but it's not something that he picks where, like, Lux and Creed are religious, like, regularly asking for movie nights. So.

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booked on booking.com. Okay. When did you last sing to yourself? I think the opening of this episode maybe. Okay. Last night in the car on the way here on those scary back roads. What song were you singing? I was just listening to like 90s country.

Oh, I love that. That's a great idea. That actually sounds like a perfect little road trip moment. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? I'm going to be vain and say body. I'm going to be vain and not vain and say mind because one of my biggest fears is aging and also I don't want to live to 90.

So I would say mind. Well, if I was maintaining a 30 year old body, I feel like no person that would possibly want to be with me would give a fuck if I had a mind. I'm just like so. If I'm 90, right? Oh, see, I would want my best frame of mind. Also, I'm not living that long regardless. At 90, I don't care what I know or what someone else thinks about like where my mind is.

But I'm thinking like Alzheimer's. Are we talking like low grade? No, I mean, my grandmas was full on. I don't know if there's like low, low grade Alzheimer's. I mean. delusional is the the mind that I'm thinking of. Like a 90-year-old, like, delusional woman with a 30-year-old body, sign me the fuck up. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? I'm going to probably be murdered. And I've always said that. You know what? I have.

Probably. Oh, Yolanda is going to get out of prison. prison and kill me? A secret hunch of how you will die. I used to have dreams that I was going to drown, and I think that that's why I'm, like, the most scared to drown. I've also heard that's, like, the worst way to die. That and a fire I've heard are, though, too.

But how would anyone know if no one survived it? Like, if you died drowning or you died in a fire. No, because I think, like, dying, drowning, you're struggling. With a fire, there's possibility. It's like smoke inhalation, and you don't, it, like, it, like disorients you so you might not really like know what's going on. So you might pass out from smoke inhalation before the burns on your body? Possibly, yeah.

But could you imagine for both scenarios gasping for your breath, both in smoke inhalation and also while you're like, because I would imagine when you're drowning, you're probably also kind of in and out of consciousness trying to, because at some point your body just, I would assume, is going to take a breath. So you're almost better off drowning yourself that way. So I couldn't remember how I used to have problems with my like smoke detectors and fire things, whatever they're called. Yeah. Fire detectors.

And they would just beep all the time. Okay, well, I have a confession. What? I took them all down and I did not put batteries back in them. I took one day. I took my carbon monoxide in my kitchen. I took it down because I'm going to tell you why. It kept beeping for whatever reason.

Yeah. But I also read a story about how. I want to say it was like a news clip on Facebook or something where this family had the carbon monoxide detectors, but they never went off because those specific carbon monoxide detectors did not go off until the levels were so high that it was too late. So this is everybody's PSA to check your fire detectors and your carbon monoxide carbon monoxide detectors and see what level the carbon monoxide or the smoke has to be because sometimes they will not go off and it is now too late and now everybody is dead.

Okay, well, I have a little... Does that make sense? Does what I'm saying? I'm not laughing at what you said. I'm laughing about how you said it. And now everybody is dead. So for real. So I just have like all these like little top parts of the things with no big.

batteries just like hanging around my house. That's typically something that I would call Will for. I understand he is not my husband, but he is my ex-husband. And so he will be making sure that I am safe whenever I get home. Let me tell you what he did. Time out. Before you continue, set your alarm for every time you spring forward or fall back that you change the batteries. Okay. I'll make sure that I see it on Will's calendar. If it's on your phone, you can reoccur it. I'll make sure I put it on Will's calendar, the shared one. Change Lindsay's detectors. Yeah, like you can put it as like reoccurring every year.

Okay, let me tell you about this fight that we got into recently. You and Will? Yeah. And it's kind of like piggybacking off of this. So he texts me and he wanted me to do something. And I must have just been in a mood because I immediately snapped back and I said, you don't do a fucking thing for me. And he said, Lindsay, I changed your air filters.

I did ask. I had to ask a lot. I was going to do it too before I got with like. You changed my ear filters. That's the last time you did me a favor. They're due again. Sir, that was six months ago that you did me a favor. And I've been constantly doing you favors.

So do not call me and ask me for anything until you come and change my ear filters. You have set my smoke detectors and my carbon monoxide detectors. And you have also washed out my AC units. And do the dishes in the sink while you're there. Also that. Maybe throw a load of laundry into. Make it a full day production. Make his time worth it.

Okay. Like don't. You don't do a fucking thing for me. Who am I? Who am I? Delusional and 90 years old. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. We're now partners.

Okay, perfect. We're now partners. We have to scissors today, by the way. We do have to scissors. Three ways that we are, that we have in common. I would say we both aspire to be type A, but we're more type B than we're willing to admit. That would be correct. That would be one.

Two, we both have ADHD. Okay. And three, we love a good true crime murder, doc. That is also true. Another thing that I would say we appear to have in common is that we want to spend all of our time with our kids but also run business. Yeah, that is true. And sometimes we'll just say maybe we should just bring our kids to the business. Yes. Okay, for what in your life do you feel most grateful? I feel so grateful for you.

I feel very grateful for you, but that's not the most thing that I'm grateful for. I am grateful for my child's health. I feel like that is something that maybe most people like don't think about every day. Honestly, I would say the same. I got I got really lucky and this is not meant to be a knock to anybody, but my kids are mostly healthy and like we haven't had, I have seven of them. And so, that goes back to the conversation where I think about another child. Like I have gotten so lucky to really have, not that I would love them any, I just don't want anything to be twisted. Not that I would love them anything less, but like they genuinely have been very healthy. And I don't have to. I'm just thankful for that. I just, I couldn't imagine.

And the parents that have sick children or have a child that was born sick. like what they go through. The other thing that I'm most, most, most thankful for, and this is, I hope it doesn't sound out of touch is my house because, I mean, as much as we have outgrown it size-wise, I'm still thankful to have a roof over my head and to have gotten a start to be able to build a house and to, like, I don't, in theory, I really don't have to move. I don't have, like, if I couldn't do it, I couldn't swing it, didn't have money for whatever reason it was, like, I have a house to live in that we're happy in. So, like, in some ways, like,

I think it's fine if we couldn't move. Right. So I'm really thankful to have my home because that's, you know, there are people who really are struggling and they don't have a house or, you know, they might have a lot of kids and they're in an apartment, you know, and that sucks. Like, I can't, I, I remember being there. I remember making not having a washer and dryer and having basically the closet size space for enough for Elliott's crib to fit in when I was. in my first apartment and I just remember having to go lug everything with him to the laundromat and like I couldn't imagine doing that with like more children or not having and it's not really because of the parents it's just because of society and the economy and everything else so I'm

thankful for my home. I will say I have become more thankful of I don't know necessarily the things that I have the life that I've been blessed with I guess is probably the better way to say it since December and all the things that we've gone through. Like the level of gratitude that I have today looks very different than what it looked like a year ago. I mean, Rebecca and I have cried together where it's like somebody else would fight for the problem. Even you guys know what I'm going through behind the scenes every, you know, every day.

Somebody else would fight to have this life and this problem. Like if this was their biggest problem, they would be thankful. And so like I keep trying to reframe it like, okay, every time me and Rebecca, mainly means like starting to spiral. She's like, we're going to get through this. It's just going to take some time. And so for those reasons, like really thankful. But problems are relative to every person's life, right?

So like what could be a big problem to one person? Somebody else might have a greater capacity to be able to deal with it. It also deals with, you know, capacity of your ability to be able to deal with that stuff. So something you have spiraled sometimes over the last couple of months. and I will listen to some of the stuff you're saying. And I'm like, we're just going to get out of this. We're going to be fine. Whatever.

But that doesn't change the fact that you feel like, oh, my God, I'm spiraling and my life is over. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, 100%. It's just, it's crazy when you really think about it and put yourself in other different, like the different perspectives.

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Oh, I wish I wasn't neglected. Like, that is the one thing. Like, okay, if my mom had her vices, right? She has her struggles and her things. But like, be a drunk and be present. Be on drugs and be present. Like I really think that if she would have handled it better and was like present with me, I would have a different level of respect.

But it was that she had these vices and she neglected me. And so I think that's why I struggle with her specifically. When I think about like my dad and stuff like that, it's like, okay, obviously wish that I had a relationship with him. but I think overall if I just wasn't neglected by my mom, I would have been less worried about my dad. For me, there would be a lot of things that I would probably change. However, at the same time, I look at it from like a bigger, like broader scope. And I'm like, okay, well, if I didn't have those hardships or I didn't go through that stuff or I wasn't raised that way, would I be where I am today and who I am today? no. So then I struggle with not being grateful for the raising. Not that I would raise my child in the

same way that I was raised, but I do think that there are some benefits of facing the adversity too. I was going to bring that up. And I think we've talked about it before, but I do get, we have talked about it before. There is a fine line when you're having kids because it's like, I want them to face some adversities. And I know that sounds counterintuitive, but like, you're not going to have the resilience or the grit or the character building if you don't face adversity. And so I think it's just kind of all about how you teach your kids to handle it. It's like you initially you want to jump in and like save them from it. But then also you kind of have to let them like feel the feelings and like go through it. Like, you know, one of my kids is going through it over the last couple weeks. And, and I sat down with him just one on one. And we talked about it. And I just listened. And it's like, I can't save you. from this stuff.

This stuff that you have specifically named out and listed are things that I cannot help. And I didn't say this explicitly to him. But I'm thinking to myself, like, I can't help you with these things. And while I obviously don't want to see him go through the heartbreak, I also know that, like, it's going to make him stronger. And at least it's not him not being fed or him not seeing both of his parents or, you know what I mean? Like the needs are met. The wants just might not be. Correct.

And I think for me, I don't. only have one. And so that is my entire world where your world is seven, right? And it makes it so hard for me because number one, Will and I parent very differently. I've said he's more of authoritative parent. I'm more of a run the fuck all over me. Just don't kill me. And that has bitten me in the ass more probably within the last year of him turning 13. And I understand Will way more, honestly, within the last year of the way that he parents him versus the way that I do. But at the same time, I think there's space for both. Yeah.

And it's really hard when your kid's asking for like freaking needos and you're like, okay, I can afford a needo. And Will's like, yeah, Lindsay, but one needo. You don't need to give him 25 needos. I'm like, yeah, I know, but I'm ADHD and so is he and it's like a hyperfixation. And like we have to go online into the black market and like the deep dark web. Same. Like those are the issues that.

Same. And it's like, are we creating bad humans by doing that stuff? My argument would be they're only a kid once, but I know that's not necessarily a valid argument because it is somewhat out of touch. That's a conversation that I would love to talk to an expert about because it is one of those things where it's like I think it's going to go off of the kids personality, the upbringing, the structure outside of all the needos. like things like that. It's like, are they being held to commitments and are they being disciplined

in other ways, but we're still also like feeding into, like, is there room for both? Right. And I think there is. I think there's room for both, but you have to find the happy balance between the both. So it can't be an extreme one way, an extreme, the other. You have to find that middle ground somewhere. Agreed. And I think that I've struggled with that a lot. Because, again, I only have one. So I'm like, oh, well, I'll just clean up the fucking mess or I'll just do whatever. You know, I'll make sure his backpacks in the car. Yes, you can get Chick-fil-A for breakfast every morning.

Like, on realistic. And Will's like, nope, buddy, I went and bought eggs this week. And I don't care if you like an egg this week. You're having an egg this week. That's what I did tell the kids over the last couple weeks. I'm like, we've been going to Wawa every single morning. And then the kids are starving after school. So then we'd go get fast food right after school.

And then they would still eat dinner. And I'm like, I told the kids, I said, we're not doing this. There's free breakfast offered at school or you can eat at home. I said, I'm not spent because every single trip to Wawa. And usually it's just Lincoln, Lux and Creed or just Lux and Creed, because sometimes Lincoln goes to school first. But I'm like $25, $35, five days a week. It adds up.

And then we're going to get fast food after school. We're not doing that anymore. Do I have the means to do it? Yes. Do I think it's. So then my kids started saying, are we not going because you don't have any money? And I'm like, no, I just want to be able to use this money for other shit. I want to, you want to go to the movies?

It costs $150 for me to take the kids to the movies. It's so funny that you say that because Jackson's made a statement like that to Will before, like, oh, you just don't want to spend money on me. And he's like, no, I'm just choosing not to. It's not because it's not there. It's because we're not doing it. No, and that's what I told them. I'm like, you guys, we've gone to the movies three times in the past two months.

It's $150 or more between, tickets, snacks, all the things. Gas to get up there, it's 35 minutes for my house is the closest one. So no, if you guys want to go to the movies, we are not doing this every fucking day. We're now budgeting bitches. Like, people don't understand the budgets that we, and the restraints that we have put ourselves under, you know? Kail, you know what we need to do?

We need to hire somebody like a Nanny McPhee. Remember that show? To come in. Wasn't it called Nanny McPhee? Yeah, to come in. and we'll hide cameras and put all of our children in one house and maybe they'll learn chores and be very appreciative of us. No, genuinely, because Lux said to me, I think it was Lux or Creed, one of them said,

well, just, I said, I'm not spending money. And he goes, just put it on your card. What the fuck do you know about a card? And you don't understand that you have to pay the card off. The card isn't just endless amounts of money. So, like, this is a really good, I mean, Elliot, Elliot's taking advantage at this point because he's like, I'm spending your money as long as I can. So, like, he'll ask me, do I, if I want this, will you buy it or do I have to buy it?

Yeah. And like, some things, I'm like, well, I'll go half or I'll do whatever. I'll get this for you, but you have to buy the net, like that kind of thing. Lincoln is at the age where he's like, I mean, he's 12. But the other ones, like, they genuinely don't understand that things cost like literal dollars. And then you have to work to make those little dollars. But then you have to take, like, it's a lot. Alessandra turns in to Nanny McPhee.

I am hiring her. I am hired right now to whip the boys into shape figuratively, not literally. And so, I mean, Elijah is very strict. Like, he takes no shit. So I'm not worried about the little ones at all. Oh, I could see that. I am not worried about them. It's if they say what to me, like I FaceTime them on the way here.

And I said, where's my Wally girl? And she said, what? And he goes, oh, no. no, ma'am, try that again. And she goes, yes. She's two. Well, Will is very much like that with Jackson. And I don't know if it's a southern thing or if it's a northern thing or just a specific type of raising.

But if Jackson wuts me, like he wanted me on Will's Trump porch past Thursday. And Will said, come again. He said, yes, ma'am. Okay. The last question on this segment, if you're not. If you could wake up tomorrow, having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? I think it would be, not to bring it back to budgeting, but like to think about, like, do I really need this?

Do I really need to buy this? Like, I've gotten so accustomed to paying for convenience. Yeah. That I wish that I could wake up one day and decide I don't need other people for this. I can do this myself to save myself money, basically. So funny that you say that because do you ever like talk to yourself? Every day. And it's like sometimes not just in your head like out loud.

I'm having a conversation with myself. I'll be like what did you just say? And I'll look at and say. And like first of all I wasn't talking to you. Did I say it out loud? And he's like, yeah. First of all, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to me.

I said literally I would go off the map but like still have the podcast and like still see you. Yeah. But I would move to a completely different location like restart my life. be such a minimalist that I basically had nothing. In a perfect world, if I could walk away, like still have the podcast community, but walk away from like living my entire life online, if I could walk away, but it's not that easy. I have seven kids now and there's no job in this world outside of what I do right now that would allow me to provide for my children the way that I do.

And so for that, I'm so thankful. But in a perfect world, if I could, if I hit the lottery and I didn't have to live my life, online anymore, I would also go off grid and then still podcasts, but for fun. Yeah. Like it wouldn't be like I'm doing this because it's my job. It would be more of like a I love to do this. I love the community and then put nothing else online. I do feel like it's fair to say though that we have had more fun doing the podcast since December. Yeah. Then we have in years. We've had so much room for creativity now. We have ideas turning. We have things happening. We have tour coming. Like it's just been, it feels like we're more of a girlhood, more of like women supporting women. And Rebecca

said that to me. She was like, it just feels so much more supportive. And like everybody, it's so weird how some of the same people are here who have been here. But now it's like everybody gets along so well. Yep. And the respect is just there. I love that. I would truly go off the grid as long as I could have my child with me off the grid, living a minimalist life, my ex-husband relatively close, I would just do the podcast and see like this girl gang whenever we could see them and just do that because the only thing I care outside of like my personal life is the podcast. Same. But it would be less pressure. I might, you know, just have like a mic and be out fly fishing and like, is Ike taking you?

Y'all will be going with me. Yeah, I'll be with Ike, like fly fishing, just having a good old time. Yeah. Drinking a white claw. Yes, ma'am. On that note, we have foul play. Hi, Kayle and Lindsay. I have quite the scandalous foul play story for you. Back in 2018, I was working in the service industry and I had a huge crush on my boss. We were pretty good friends, but flirted a lot, so I had the feeling it. We were pretty good friends, but flirted a lot so I felt the feeling was mutual. One night we both had off work, so he invited me to a driving range that also had a bar. What is this with golfers that invite girls to the driving range and to the bar?

I know somebody like that. I don't know because we don't have a driving range around here that I know of. So I don't know people like this. After he taught me a couple of golf moves, we go sit at the bar where the drinks were going down smoothly. I excused myself to go the bathroom and saw that it was one person in the bathroom instead of multiple stalls. I was feeling pretty bold, frisky, and frankly a little bit drunk, so I texted my boss asking him to meet me in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and when I opened it, immediately jumped on him and we started making out, which then ultimately led to me being bent over the sink. We returned back to our seats at the bar and I'm trying to be nonchalant, of course, but I'm giggling.

The bartender gives us a look and says, I'm not dumb. I know what just went on. After one more drink, we decided to leave and go sit in his car and talk for a bit before I called my Uber. Well, talking turned into more hooking up and we reclined the passenger seat and he laid down. and he laid down and I was on top. We were having a pretty good time until all of a sudden we hear this loud alarm sound. Did you know the iPhone has a feature where you can call 911 when the phone is locked? I did know that.

And that's how I found out. I must have been kneeling on my phone while I was riding him. It dialed before I could turn it off and I stupidly hung up. Of course, the dispatcher called back and I had to explain that I accidentally dialed and that I was okay and there was not an emergency. And since that was a mood killer, I decided to call my Uber and go home. My boss ended up getting a different job, and we did date for a couple of years, but ultimately it didn't work out. But this gave us a good laugh and memory to reminisce on during our time together. Love you girls and the podcast.

Thanks for being you. Okay. I have a couple things to say on this. Number one, someone tried to get me to fuck them in the bathroom of a bar. Like, when we both have homes, why are we fucking in the bathroom of a bar? Number one. Number two, at this point of my life, I don't know how old this girl is, but at 36 years old, I am not dating a guy for years. Like, you either know that we're doing this or you're not.

Number two, the only time I've ever been frisky and had sex, not in a car, but unfortunately, it's much trashier than in a car. It was on the back of a truck bed with my ex-husband. That is not trashy. That's romantic and cute. and sometimes you just do things like that. That is not romantic and cute. And I also was pregnant when that was going on as well. So there ain't nothing cute about that.

I just, I don't understand why I was grown adults were like fucking in the bathroom. I mean, I conceived lux in a vehicle. So it's like, and I was a full-blown adult, like 25 years old. Do you know what I mean? So like I resonate with this. I mean, I get it. But it's like you're spontaneous. I would like to go home

and we can be spontaneous around the house Okay I mean I'm 34 now So I'm aligned But this was probably years ago She was probably having the time of her life But like gone out and played golf

And you got a little frisky Because you felt my hips move And then you think we're going to the bathroom And you're bending me over a public sink Where everybody's washed all the funk off of them And you're fucking me No No

that screams like I'm about to have BV. I mean, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. But I mean, I love this story for her. I mean, I love it for her and I love it wasn't me. And on that note, we're going to go and play with our Nitos and make some TikToks. If you guys have not followed the podcast on Instagram, you can do that at Coffee Convo's podcast.

Please join our Facebook group to connect with us. and our community. If you have not subscribed with the show, you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast One. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

Buy your tour tickets. See ya. Okay, guys, we're back. You asked for it and we're delivering. Killer is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer.

And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on kaleowrie. And if you want early access to information, and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else. Please and TV shows.

We're coming at! This is the... Like Pineapple Express, the entire Star Trek film franchise, and Gladiator, and TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd parents and ghosts.

Pluto TV is always free. Hazzo! Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. Hey, quick question. Why do you keep thinking you can change that man? I mean, you are not his mother. Let someone else change.

that poopy diaper and focus on yourself. Hi everyone, I'm Viola Benson, your Russian Vic sister and almost adulting Vyla Benson. I give you that tough love, dating advice, and reality checks that you didn't ask for, but you absolutely need. We talk relationships, confidence, mental health, boundaries, and how to finally stop settling for crumbs. You deserve better, babe, and it starts with me. So new episodes every Thursday, come hang out with me, follow rate and review, almost adulting wherever you get your podcast.