Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - The Great Soulmate Debate

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

CC 491: Disclaimer: This episode was recorded in early May 2026, prior to the events that have since unfolded.Kail and Lindsie play Agree to Disagree and debate soulmates, cheating, jealousy, talking stages, phone passcodes, closure, and whether you can love two people at once. They also open up about dating after heartbreak, relationship red flags, friendship breakups, and learning to love yourself first.Get your Fatherless Behavior Tour Tickets hereFor full videos head towww.youtube.com/@KailandtheChaosTo send in your Foul Plays email us at [e-mail] you for checking out our sponsors!Quince: Right now, go to quince.com/coffee for free shipping and 365-day returns. Lola Blankets:  head to LolaBlankets.com and use code COFFEE to get 40% OFF your order. After you purchase, they’ll ask where you heard about them — PLEASE support our show and let them know we sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets.Better Help: This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Visit betterhealth.com/coffee today to get 10% off,RoBody: Find out if you’re covered for free at ro.com/coffeeconvosK12: See why more than 3 million families have chosen K12 find a K12 Powered School near you today! Go to K12.com/COFFEECONVOS to learn more.Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Disclaimer, this episode was recorded in early May, 2026 prior to the events that have since unfolded. The conversation reflects the information and circumstances as they were at the time of recording. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is coffee convoes with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you.

A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life. in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Coffee Combos podcast. I'm pretty sure that someone's trying to rage bait us in this room and it is not going to happen. We are going to play a game called agree to disagree. I'll be very interested to see what we agree and disagree on, but basically this is going to be kind of like rapid style. And if we disagree, then we both have to give our reasoning why we're disagreeing. Okay, deal.

Okay, so the first one is there's such a thing as the one or is it just timing? Both. How? Because you could meet the wrong one at the, you could meet the right one at the wrong time. I kind of agree with that. Like I really, I do believe that because if you are, for example, going through a breakup and you don't have the capacity. for a new relationship right now and you guys come back to each other a year or two years from then. Okay.

I feel like you could still end up together. I don't feel like you would still end up together. Personally, I think it's based off of like personality type. I don't think I could be the type that would still end up together. It's like, okay, ship sailed. No, no, no, no. I'm saying a new person. No, I know.

I'm saying like if a person like came across me too soon after a last relationship and I didn't act on that, then I'm probably never acting on it. Got it. Okay. So when you say that you kind of agree with what I said, what do you mean? Um, I feel like everybody has a one. And I know that probably most people in this room disagree with that. But I feel like when you have it, you instinctively know.

Like, I've had it. I feel like there was like maybe so many seasons of life that, I don't think I have enough life left on this earth to have that many seasons with somebody else. And like, I know that we were able to navigate those various different seasons, not like seamlessly imperfect. But I feel like I could not do that with anyone else. I think that's a sign that you need to listen to that. Obviously, I actually am talking about this in therapy actively currently. Um, but I just feel like, yes, like nobody will compare to that.

Being a godly woman, I feel like there is one person that was like made to be my soulmate that was for me. Like, why do I feel so comfortable to tell this person that I got off of a plane and started my period? Like, in zero world, does that make sense? That's literally my soulmate. That's so fascinating. But you don't believe in soulmates, right? I don't know. I'm like, in some ways, yes, but in some ways I'm like, I also didn't believe in you could be in a relationship with your best friend.

And I feel like I have that now. So I don't know. Like, is that your soulmate? Does that equal? I don't know about that because I feel like through the relationships that I've been through, there have been three people out of the relationships that I've been in that became my best friend at that time. Does that make sense? But then one, like, still remained my best friend always, even though I had, like, another best friend. Like, he was always there.

Yeah. Okay. That's fair. I do think that's fair. Okay. Next one. Can you be in love with two people at the same time? No.

Yes. How? Because if you're truly, what's that saying? Like, if you love the first person, there wouldn't be the other person? I don't believe that life is so black and white and cut and dry. So I do think that you can love two people at one time. Do I think that it's the same exact love? No, not necessarily.

But I do think that you can love two people at one time. You can also love someone and know they're not for you. But wouldn't out of those two scenarios that you're talking about, wouldn't you love one of those loves more? Possibly, but you still love both of them. Oh, see, I couldn't love two people at one time. Like, think about you can have more than one child. And I learned very quickly after I had Lincoln that love multiplies, it doesn't divide. So when we're talking about like polyamory, polygamy, whatever, they love more than one person

at one time. I do think that the love that you have for your partner or partners is different than your children. But love in that aspect, I never, there was periods of time where I was pregnant with Lincoln and I'm like, how do you have to raise this child because I will never love somebody as much as I love Elliot. Like I genuinely struggled with that until he was born. And the second he was born, I fell in love with him right away.

And so, yes. But, like, also, you fall in love with someone. Maybe they are, I don't know, like, maybe they're okay with you having another partner. You can love two people. Like, look at Aspen Ovard. Well, yeah, but that's Aspen Ovard. That's not me. Okay, so you could not love two people.

I'm saying, like, me personally. You believe that people can. I believe that people can, just like different styles of relationships. relationships work. It just wouldn't work for me. I couldn't love two people at the same time. Correct. Okay. That I could get behind. But I was just saying can people love two people at the same time. Yeah, I believe that certain people and certain personality types can do that. Yes, I agree. Is cheating ever forgivable? Wow. This just feels like very targeted in a hot topic. I would say yes. I would say no. I am never going. I'm going to, I'm going to,

to forgive to a degree that I can move past it, but I'm never going to forgive the action and what caused somebody to get to that point to be able to do to me. That's a loyalty thing for me. So, yes, I will forgive for my own self so I can move past it, but I'm not staying with you. Okay. See, I think both. I think both, you know, for me, I have forgiven Elijah completely. if you ever hear me talk to him about it now, I just like make fun of him about it. But would I, did I get back with him? No. Do I think it's ever forgivable where you can work through it in a relationship?

Yes, I've seen other people do it. But on the other side of that too is like, I do see how someone who's been married to the same person for 20 years ends up having an affair and then, you know, works it back out with his wife. because, I mean, at some point, you're still, like, you are still a human and at some point you're going to find somebody else attractive that is going to test whatever it is that you have going on in your marriage or whatever else and it's going to test you as a human and it's going to test you. And, like, I could see how it happens.

I'm not saying it's okay. I could just see how it happens. I personally think the only time that, and I mean not been in this situation, that maybe if enough time had passed and people had kind of like gone their separate ways after cheating and like found themselves because obviously something was lost within that person that made them do that. Could you come back together at a later time? That's a possibility. But I still don't think I would because I feel like I would be so scarred from that action that

it's such a, it's such a betrayal like on a different level. And I'm speaking from a recent experience. I don't care if I was not strong enough to like immediately move on. Like you are not forgiven. Yeah. And for that, like at the point that you're staying with somebody and you know yourself internally that like I cannot forgive that and I'm going to bring it up in every conversation that gets heated, what am I doing?

Because I'm not serving myself. I'm not serving that person and possibly children that were involved. I mean, that's part of the reason why I couldn't give back with Elijah. It was like, I'm not, this would eat me alive. And I would not be able to, like, I would bring it up every chance I got. Forgiving an action and accepting it is two totally different things. To me, when you forgive someone, when you genuinely forgive them, you're not throwing it in their face in every argument. Correct.

Kail and I've talked about emotional affairs. Like I feel like that would be far worse than a drunken one-night stand. Again, not acceptable in any fashion. But if I was going to forgive one of those two scenarios, it would be easier for me to forgive the drunken one-night stand than the emotional. Like, you're investing time and emotions and your brain capacity to that person. No, I agree with you. 1,000% agree with you. Does the talking stage count as a relationship?

Yes. I feel like I am completely opposite than every single one of y'all's answers in this room. I'm torn on this because I do think it depends on the people and the talking stage. Because if we are sending, if we're to the point where we're sending good morning text, how many good mornings are you saying? Because we are committed. Like we are committed to the morning text. I just feel like if I am, okay, maybe it's also me knowing myself and based off of my personality,

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So to me, like the talking stage does count. And I feel like the talking stage is a foundation of your relationship if you are taking it seriously. If Ike would have slept with someone else during our talking stage and he either told me or I found out about it, there would be no relationship. Probably for both of us, if we are investing the time into somebody else and it could be like even such a minimal amount of time. But with having children, I feel like that changes the entire dynamic. I can tell you when I dated Trent, I didn't go anywhere like solo with him for almost two months. when we were in the talking phase because I wanted everybody that I hung out with to meet him.

So like he would ask me to go somewhere and I would bamboozle and just show up with like one of my girlfriends. And he'd be like, oh, I guess I want to date with both of you. I'm in agreement that the vibes have to be there. So for example, I'll just use Trent as the example. We met her to freaking trampoline park. Like the vibes were there from the point that there was eye contact. I just immediately, I think there was like a part of body language, a part of the demeanor, a part of the physical attractiveness. Yeah, if he would have sent me a text and I wasn't vibing with him after like two texts, then I'm just blocking.

It's crazy when you literally break it down with humans. It's like you have to be attracted to them. Then you have to vibe with them after the attraction, like get through the initial connection. like the initial attraction, vibe with them, vibe with them enough to, like, cohabitate with them. And then possibly, like, there's so many fucking layers and steps to it. I don't have the time or energy for that. To your point that you said earlier on. I would only exclusively date.

Only exclusively date. Like exclusively date one person at a time. Yeah. I'm not going through. But then that's a relationship. Correct. So to your point when you said, you're just going from relationship to relationship, yes. And I think that there is a stigma attached. to that because while I do think it is important to be single during some parts of your life,

I don't see anything wrong. The thought of being single for me right now is the biggest life thrill. Like I literally was walking to the refrigerator last night. Kail was in there and I said, you know what? So nice. Not needing to check in with anybody. Like it's been a long time since I've been there. And I think that you're probably in the same place.

that if we're dating somebody, we're in a relationship with that person, I'm not a casual dater and you're not a casual dater. Never been a casual dater. I'm not a casual dater. I'm not a, and whatever, say what you want about me. I am just not. But I've always had the theory of if you are casually dating and it's like, I guess, the dating app culture, that how do you know that somebody can actually fully fulfill you if you're

not just being fulfilled by that one person at that one time? because you're picking up pieces of people and then you might be satisfied over here, but you really like this other person. And then when you decide to just be exclusively in a relationship with that person, you might be being fed somewhere else and not realizing it. My ex told me to my face that he wishes that he could be in a relationship with all three of the girls that he was dating. I didn't realize at the time that he was in full-blown relationships with these women, but he said that he gets different things from all three of us and that his perfect world

included all three of us. And for me, in some ways, I'm like, okay, I had to come to the realization at some point that nobody is going to check off all 10 boxes, right? Like, whatever those boxes are, 10, 5, whatever it is, nobody. So I need to understand that if this person is giving me 80%, Mm-hmm. What the fuck do I have trying to then fulfill the other 20% from somebody else when this person, like, nope, I'm never going to give somebody 100%. I said that exact same thing to somebody.

So like for me, I think that's why, like, no, I don't think that anything is as black and white as we wish it was. And I also don't judge other people for doing casually dating. It's just not for me. It's not something that I've ever really wanted to do or wanted to participate in. But like, it makes sense to me why people would date multiple people to see what they like, to see what they want, to do all of those things. But for me, I'm just not that person. I've also never dated without kids. I just don't have the mental capacity to pour into multiple cups at the same time.

1,000%. And like, if the vibes are off with this person or I don't feel compatible with this person, I'm just not going to talk to them. Correct. There's no, like, multiple people at one time. Sometimes when the ending of relationships gets really. sticky and like convoluted. Sometimes I think that's because the two people did not want to end the relationship when it needed to be ended. I don't think it has anything to do with how the relationship started. I think it's like, okay, at some point in this journey of our relationship, we've realized

we don't want to be together, but it's too comfortable to end it and be done. Mine's less about the comfortability, more about the time that was invested. So like, is this something that we can get over. And mentally, I know it's not. But it's like I've already invested so much time in this. I need to like ride it out. You need to have something to show for it. A year for me has like flown by, but we've lived so, we've done so many things together in one year that it feels like we've been together for 10. But also it feels like two months at the same time. That fully makes sense to me. Like my last relationship was a two-year relationship and sometimes one month if things were bad, it would feel like a lifetime that I'd

been doing that. But when things were really good, it was just like flying by. It's so, but I've also never still been in love with someone to the degree that I am at one year. Interesting. Okay. Like I wholeheartedly, like I just want to jump his bones every day. Do your teeth like that again? Okay, I love the next one. Is jealousy a sign of love or insecurity? And I am so confidently going to say, I think that there is such a healthy level of jealousy within a relationship. Yes, I agree.

There's lines, though. Like, there are, because I'm not about to fight another woman over my man, because at the point that I have to fight somebody over a man, like, just take him. At that point. I've been with two different people and similar situation happened. we were out hanging out at a little like rooftop place end of spring both situations same time of the year some guy comes up to me and says hey are you dating anybody two people very different people lost minds and i'm like you know what i kind of like it a little bit yeah if my man isn't territorial as alessandra says over me what the fuck are you with me for if you don't if you

have some level of jealousy. If you're not hiking your leg up and piss in a little bit, then... Like, puff out your chest a little, because if you show nothing and you're that confident, I actually... Alessandro is rolling her eyes at us. She's like... Is that unhealthy? Okay, so people who have ever been with somebody that is in corporate and they have like

these corporate dinners and like corporate lunches and everybody is kind of grabbing a cocktail and they're hanging out with your coworkers. I am here to tell you no. No. A workwife is crazy and I hate the term. Like a wife is a wife. Like why are we? If I think he's coming home to me and saying that he was with his work wife.

You fill both shoes. No, but I'm saying if we did not work together and he was with a work. Go be with her then. Now I'm done. Now you piss me off because my level of jealousy is I'm not going to get jealous. I will leave you. I'm leaving. We're not doing this.

Okay. Do we think that couples should share pass codes? Yes. Okay. The only reason that I'm saying no in this current moment is because someone keeps trying to log into my fucking email. And there is only one person that would have that specific passcode. So now I'm like... Oh, are you talking about like to like accounts?

Yeah. I thought you meant to like your phone. Like to your phone. I mean... I'm not giving up. my like email passwords and shit like that, but I also don't have shit to hide. So it would be one of those like Ikes logged into my Snapchat. No, I'm not giving out my passcode for free, but I felt like, I don't know,

I felt like a different level of trust like in that person at that time that I never could imagine them just like nilly-willy trying to log into my email. I thought you meant passwords to phones. I think passwords to all your accounts and shit, that would be weird as fuck. Okay. So you're saying a phone. password but not like passwords to other stuff. And then I was saying, I still know Will's passwords because it's two passwords that he's used like his whole life. So if I wanted to log into that man's

email right now, I wouldn't and haven't. But if I wanted to, I could. When I was toxic, when I was in my most toxic relationship, the way that I knew this man's every past. password to everything and he had no idea. So he did. I watched him type in all his passwords. She told me this one time. She said you watch the pattern of the way that they do it. And I'm like, how are you watching somebody's fingers?

It was so fucked because it was I knew his phone password. I knew his Instagram password. I knew his email password. I knew every password this man had. And I never told him. So it wasn't like I would find the text. messages and the emails and the this and that. It wasn't that I would tell him that. It was that I would keep it in my back pocket. So I would shut the fuck up. But I would go through the stuff regularly and I would know and then I would keep it in my back pocket. And then I would, this is why I say like the passwords to everything is weird because you can't bullshit a bullshitter. I am experienced in this. It is toxic. It's unhealthy. It's not cute. And I never want to be in a position like that ever again. The way that I would plan and plot how I was going to. to get the information out there without giving away how I knew this information was then I would

use would text me from a texting app with the information that I found and then I would say a random person texted me this can you explain yourself wow I would be in his in this man's bathroom at the apartment I paid for shitting in the toilet because I had bubble guts so bad and would be texting me from an app so that I could go wake this man up and say why is this girl texting me. I am dead. Lindsay's son goes back to school far before my kids do. Does anyone else feel like August is the Sunday of summer? Like it's just everything is over now? Yes. I get that. So before the autumn rush, go through your closet. See what pieces you could donate. Go to Quince and pick the effortless, high quality essentials that you need in your closet like the ultra soft, organic cotton or the

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Okay, so I have never cared about having anybody's password. One person that I dated had, you know, like the face recognition thing on the phone. They had the face recognition set up for me as a profile also. So at any time, I could unlock that person's phone and that person cheated. So I'm like, is that a ploy to make me feel a level of- It was false security. Yeah, false security. Yeah, if you have a profile in his phone, you'll most likely not go through it because he's so transparent.

Yep. That he would, you wouldn't probably not need to go through it. But then how I knew that this person, like, what started like tipping me off that this person was doing something bad was there would be like a couple of days that we wouldn't see each other. And he would come to my house to pick me up and I would look on his phone screen. and it used to be a picture of me. And then it was removed and it was like a picture of the dog. So I'm like, where have you been that you needed to like change my photo off of your background to something else? And then if you go into the phone, there's like there's where you can save multiple backgrounds and like you can switch them out.

And he had it saved like that where he could switch out the backgrounds on his phone. Wait, that's so crazy. But like, the false security thing is a real, like, that's a real situation. That's insane. I didn't set it up. Actually, he set it up, which makes it even more diabolical. But I didn't even ask for it. You know what I mean?

It was just, hey, if you ever want access to my phone, I will set up this face ID and then you can have access to my phone all the time. So it was like a false sense of security because I'm like, what type of idiot would, allow my face to unlock their phone. Obviously, they're not doing anything wrong. Wrong. I'll ask Ike for his phone and he just throws it to me. He don't not give a fuck. Do you share locations? And I'm going to answer that for you. No, because you don't even share your location with me. No, I do not share my location with anyone because I'm like, well, I'll tell you actually why I did it. I just turned all location services off because I didn't want to hurt certain people's feelings by like removing them specifically from location. It doesn't tell people anymore. Oh, it doesn't? No, it does not tell people anymore when you've

removed, like, stop sharing your location with them. It might notify it in the, like, text thread, but they can't see it. No, we did the experiment, remember? We tried it. So, Alessandra and I tried it. So if you share your location with me and then you turn it off, like just for me. Yeah. You can see it, but I can't. And then now with the updates, in case you have not heard, if you block a contact, it shows that you blocked them. Oh, yeah. So it adds that little like red emoji with the line through it. It's on there now.

And if you block someone and they do not know, it will show them that it's delivered and it is not delivered. So like you could block me and I can text you and it'll say delivered on my end. It will not say delivered. Well, see, I will tell you one shady thing that I do do is I will habitually block people, but I have my eye messages set up to receiving. two places. So they will be blocked on my phone.

And it goes to your laptop. But then it goes to my laptop. So then if I don't want the notifications coming up on my phone, I'll just go to my laptop. And you can still see if they reached out? Yeah. I'm not a fan of blocking people because I want to see all of the notifications that come through.

So Lindsay's point is so smart by having it sent to your phone. I need to see those because whenever I had a PFA against someone for a year, I want to know if they're trying to communicate to me because that's a violation. Like, I want to know if you violated this order by trying to reach out to me. And see, for me, mine's more of a situation of what I don't know can't hurt me and don't want to be involved, you know? You're better than me. Okay, is it a red flag if someone has never been in a long-term relationship? Yes.

In our mid-30s, we're all pretty much with the exception of my. Madison, we're in our mid-30s at this point. If you have not been in a long-term relationship, yes, I'm concerned because you either have commitment issues or there's something wrong with you that people cannot date you. I would only at this point date probably one person with a kid. Yeah. Like one specific person with a kid. If I ever got, I told Kail the other day, I'm like, well, when I finally do get back out into

the dating world, maybe I'll go younger. No. Like, that's what I haven't tried. You know what? There's pros and cons to it. I'll say that. I mean, let their frontal load be fully formed if you're going to go younger because at this point, you're what, 36? Don't go below 30.

That's my advice to you because Elijah is very mature for his age, but his frontal lobe still wasn't formed when we were together, is my opinion. Well, in my experience, I was dealing with stuff. That's fun. In my opinion, it's great. In my experience, if I'm dating somebody 16 years older than me, but I'm dealing with the same problems that somebody... A 20-year-old? Yeah, would be doing. Then, like, what's the benefit?

There's not. AARP, like, what, like... Citizen discount? Like, what's the benefit? So I'm like, okay, maybe younger might be the option? The vibe. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I could see it. But I'm telling you, my advice is don't go below 30. Like, that's my advice. When I met Elijah, I had just turned 30 and he was turning 25.

I mean, either way, though, do I think that he would have, had he been a little bit older, I think the situation that occurred would have gone very differently. Like it would have worked? No, no, no, like the cheating thing. Do I think he still might have cheated? Yes, I do. But I don't think that it. it would have, I think he would have tried to, he would have tried to have a conversation with me about some of his, like, I don't want to say issues with me, but like some of how he was feeling, I think he would have come to me about the communication skills would have been a little

bit more developed. And I would like to think, yeah. Yeah. Emotional IQ for sure. I don't think that sometimes men fully have that until they're like closer to 30, where like I would have settled down with someone when I was 24 years old. Well, I would have been ready. I am on a 365 day hiatus.

Actually, me, Alessandra, and Kayla had this conversation over launch after court. I have FOMO. 365 day hiatus of just going to focus on myself. And like I genuinely have zero desire to have sex with anybody. Good. I mean, you could have sex with yourself. Like I just, I have zero desire. Also, it's just more of like a project for myself.

to say like, okay, I know I can do this. And I feel like the, I'm going to gain such a reward out of it after it's all set and done. Yeah. What's the longest of you have been single? One year. Eight months. But I don't think I was really single for those eight months either come to think of it because I was still fucking my ex-husband. Oh, so you were not single.

You were, I mean, it is single, but like it's not, well. It's like, yeah. Like, because like I was single, but like I was talking to somebody that I wouldn't claim publicly. Like if it's somebody I bring around like my mom, then that's a for sure relationship. I wasn't bringing anybody around my mom. Wait, is that a thing? Like you don't bring the people that you're talking to around your family? Yeah, like, no, they need to like meet certain qualifications before you do that.

My grandmother has always said, you're the person that's in love with that person. I'm not. So once you tell me what somebody is done to you, you're going to easily forgive it over time or maybe immediately. And I'm not going to forgive it or forget it. Yeah, that's a hard lesson to learn, though. And I didn't learn that until probably I was with Elijah. Like I stopped in, I think the first six months of my relationship with him, I was self-sabotaging, coming up with every reason why we couldn't be together. And then at one point I woke up and I was like, I'm done telling everybody.

every little minor income. I was telling her and Natalie every little thing. And I woke up and I was like, this is not helping me, hurting. It's not doing anything for me. So there's no reason why these two people needed to know every in and out of my relationship. So I stopped doing it altogether. Like I almost texted, I think Kayla.

I almost texted Kayla something yesterday and I typed it out and then I deleted it. Because I was like, no, we're not doing this. Yeah, I don't want anybody in my. my relationship at all. But that's such a hard lesson to learn and it's such an easy habit to repeat if you're not careful about it. And then you're like, well, why does nobody like this person? Well, because you've gone out and told every fucking nitty gritty thing that's ever gone

down. Like, they put the knife in the wrong drawer. Like, I tell everything. I am now going on the 365 day hiatus and nobody will know anything whenever I decided to do something. That's fair. That is so valid. So fucking valid. All right. Let's talk about money. I know it's a hard conversation to have in this economy in today's world, but I was able to use rocket money. My financial advisor had actually suggested it to me a long time ago. And he said, this is a great place to start. You can cancel subscriptions. You can monitor your spending. You can set budgets and you can watch your savings grow. When I first started with Rocket Money, they helped me cancel eight unwanted subscriptions. I was paying two. of the same streaming services under two different emails. That's so crazy. Rocket Money is so easy

to use and that's something that I love about it. It can help track subscriptions like Kiel said and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app in just a few taps, giving users an easy way to stop paying for the things that they don't use. And they also have automatic transaction categorization across accounts plus customizable categories and tags that reveal spending patterns. And you would be shocked at what you find out about yourself. I used this to pay for the in-ground pool that we put at the house because all the other houses I lived in had them already when I bought them. Another great feature of Rocket Money budgeting and goals. Yeah, I love it. I think it's great because you can see real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

And users who create a financial goal with Rocket Money tend to see meaningful savings momentum within their first month. And I can attest to that. I probably saved several hundred dollars from eight subscriptions because I had been paying for them for so long. So Kittycats, this is your sign. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash coffee convos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee convos. Rocketmoney.com slash coffee convos. A new school year means new opportunities for positive change.

big or small. And for parents who are looking for a new path to help your child succeed this year, there's still time to enroll in K-12-powered online schools. This could be a perfect fit for your family. K-12-powered schools offer tuition-free, accredited online public education for students in kindergarten through 12th grade with a curriculum designed to meet your child where they are and support their unique needs, interesting goals. And there are also extracurricular activities to connect with peers and interest. K-12's dedicated teachers are trained in virtual instruction and provide real-time support, all in an online setting that works for your family at home or anywhere there's internet. Plus, K-12 has been a leader in online education for more than 25 years serving 3 million

students and counting. It is not too late to enroll this fall. See how K-12-powered schools can help your child thrive this year and beyond. Enroll online today at K-12.com slash coffee convos. That's the letter K-the-number-12.com slash coffee convos. do you feel like you have to love yourself before you can love someone else? And for me, I think the answer is yes. Yes. Because I think insecurity comes from not fully loving yourself, which I struggle with on a regular basis anyway. So when I get compliments from Ike or like I feel like he loves me, to me, it feels like it's too good to be true. And I'm insecure about that because it's like, am I worthy of this type of love or is this too good to be true? Will it go away? Is it real? And so, like, if you don't fully love yourself, you're always going to think that way. But the thoughts of being in a relationship feeling like that makes me more insecure. Yep.

Like when you feel like, oh, wow, this is so good right now. And this might potentially could go away. I focus on the fact that it could go away more than, like, I've got this. Yep. I'll tell you. And, like, that's a dangerous, treacherous path to go down. You've got to get to a place where you don't care of somebody like. You know, like...

If he left me tomorrow, I'd be like, okay, I'm fine, but it would suck. You know what I mean? Breakups are the worst. Friendship breakups are even worse. Y'all feel like they are? Absolutely. I feel like breaking up with someone and losing all contact with that person over such a short amount of time. It's like you break up with a 24-hour span, and then, like, you break up with a 24-hour span, and then, like,

Like you never talk again, but that person became your best friend, the person that you slept with every single night, the person that you had sex with, the person that you shared your secrets with, like when that's over, that to me is far worse than a friendship breakup. Yeah, but think about your closest friend in your entire life that you've, the closest friend, the intimate details that you get comfortable sharing and like, I don't know, maybe you, I don't know, like just really personal. Like, your best friend is like a diary. Mm-hmm. Like a walking diary. I think that when you break up with your, in my experience, with the exception of one person, every like breakup that I've gone through, it was a period of one foot in, one foot out for like on and off

period at the end where you like break up, but then like, are we going to get back together or not this time? and it's like that like we're still in communications until it slowly fizzles all the way out. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. Where like with a friendship, like in friendship fallouts, you don't really have that like, I would guess that like in and out period and then it fizzles all the way out. I think like friendship fallouts are more like, okay, this is the end. We're done.

And see, I feel like I am in and out with relationships and friendships. Like I let it fizzle out over a period of time. time. Most of the time it's not just like a cold turkey cut off. I think the reason that this last one has been so hard for me is because literally there can be no communication. So like I think that changes the dynamic too because it's like you're forced. But will that make it easier in the end like in the long run? Probably. But does it make it harder right now in the moment? Yes. Because you can't just like pick up the phone and call, although I don't necessarily want to It's just the fact that we can't.

Do you believe in closure or do you feel like you create your own closure and closure, like going to have closure with someone is real? I think. And my answer would change from my current situation than like the past ones, if that makes sense. Because dynamically it's just like so different. I think the closure is the closure. Like it's done. Like there is no more. communication, there was a final act, that was it. And I think that is the actual closure.

I think it depends on the scenario. It depends on a person. There are certain situations where there needs to be no closure. Like it just is. And then there are other situations where, like, I do believe explanations are necessary. And maybe the explanations won't provide the closure because you're still just never going to understand, like, how did that person get to that point? And I'm talking romantic, platonic, all the things. But certain things require no closure. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just thinking about, like, the Natalie situation.

She does not know why I completely cut her off. She has no idea. And I know for a long time she was looking for answers. And I was not ready to give them. And I had said, well, over time, I will give you, like, in my head, I'm like, at some point we'll talk. And we never did. So she, to this day, does not know. know. For a relationship, like, I don't know.

My belly's crying. Is that your belly? I'm trying to think of like another, like the Chris situation. I texted him one day and was like, hey, please don't come to the house today. And we were never together ever again. But I did the back and forth for a long time. I feel like I never got closure from my marriage. And I feel like that's why it's still like lingering.

lingered for a period of years. I feel like this last situation, that is the closure. I would agree. With Trent, it was so back and forth for so long. I mean, it was literally back and forth for like a year. And so I think if I had to do it again, the closure would have just been when we decided to break, when we decided to break up. We should have never been texting each other or communicating or lonely or let's try to hang out. No, like the closure should have been the final conversation of we're breaking up.

It's so much easier said than done. For sure. I'm just saying looking back, obviously hindsight's 2020. But if I had that situation to do over again, I wouldn't have allowed that to linger an additional year. I would have just said, okay, no, the breakup is the closure. foul play Go ahead You want me to read it or you want to read it?

It doesn't matter. Okay. This one's called More Than She Bargained for. Wow, do I have a foul play for you? This past Friday I had booked for my favorite estetician to do my lash extensions as per usual. This wonderful lady came to my house, which is amazing as I had a baby five months ago. And I told my husband, while my hair is falling out in clumps, I wanted my lap. I wanted my lashes on flea. Anyway, he usually works from home on these days so he can hold

the baby. So all goes well and he manages to put our son down to sleep. I pay and she leaves. My husband is in the mood and seeing as the man is very neglected these days and he does the best, he does his best. I say, okay, I'm into it. Nothing sexier than a man putting a baby to sleep anyway. This man has a pants off. So true. No, truly. If a man can put a baby to sleep, I'll fuck you right after. Yes. This man has his pants off quicker than you can say boo. and is on the couch. I briefly look, I briefly look up at the door and think to myself,

I wonder if she will come back. Maybe I should lock the door, but I ignore it. I kid you not, I'm about to lower my pants, and she knocks and opens the door. My husband flies up, don't know why he didn't just stay down,

as she would not have, as she would not have seen him, and she sees all his parts as he's, as he dives sideways and says, who is there? I was finished. I was howling so hard I could barely breathe. My esthetician quickly,

quickly covered her mouth, saying sorry and closed the door. I picked myself up off the floor as I was laughing so hard and went outside to speak to her. She had her hands over her face apologizing profusely. I told her it was really okay and that it's not her fault. I also told her that hope she has not been scarred for life. I will still keep booking her to do my lashes even though she's seen the most private the most private of my husband's parts. Note to self always lock the damn door. Lots of love from South Africa. Okay.

I can tell you if any person ever saw my man's business down there, I would have to cease communication for the rest of time because then in my mind, I'm like, does that person that saw it want it? And like it's going to live. Penises are the most ugly thing on the planet. They're not, though. They're not. Nobody is looking at a penis and saying that's what I want.

Penises are not ugly. I mean, like, I don't think I've just maybe not seen an ugly one, but I don't think they're ugly at all. They're so hidey. Do you know someone sent me in the mail? Like, you would rather see somebody's vagina than a penis. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, count me out.

Oh, there are some very pretty vaginas. Like, I feel like I have one. I mean, I feel like I have one too, but all vaginas are beautiful, all of them. Every last one of them. All penises are beautiful. All penises. No, they're not. All penises are beautiful.

Someone sent me a squishy penis. Like they, like, mailed it to you? Yes, you know how we've been doing needos on these episodes? Someone sent me a knockoff penis neto. And it was white. God forbid. You were just so scared.

God forbid. It just reminds me of like raw chicken. Ugh. That's tear. Well, I've only seen those, but. I've only seen those, but I genuinely think that, like, penises aren't ugly. Like, if taken care of and, like, I mean, I'm not talking about, like, majorly, I haven't seen one that looks like a left-hand turn signal or anything. Like, like, no pubes, a little bit of pubes. I'm not trying, no, I'm not trying to do all that. Yeah.

See, I can't get behind this completely shaved down. I mean, you can see like, it's almost like a five o'clock shadow, like a beard like a little bit, you know. I, I could trim the length down, but I do not want you to shave it tight to the skin. If you shave it tight to the skin, I'm actually not fucking you until it grows back. Oh, wow. Like, don't even try. I'm not even putting my mouth on that because that's giving adolescence. That's giving.

I mean, I do, yeah, but then do you wax completely? No. Because I get it tight to the skin, but I'm not bald. Like, you're not about to get me a baldy. I've done that in my five years ago. You will not catch me with a baldy these days. Oh, you will catch me bald at all times. Like, no hair on my body whatsoever except on my head.

Like, I have like a five o'clock shadow at all times. So you trim. You don't. shape. Pretty much. I got me clippers, so I don't have to. Clippers on a cooch is wild. Like, clipper. It's way easier. I have five o'clock shadow right now and love it. It's fine. I love that for you. I love that for your partner. And on that note, I need to get these curlers out of my head. I love you guys so much. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast 1. If you have not purchased tour tickets, Kail Lowry.com, click the tour tab and go get your tickets.

We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. The moment a body is found, the clock starts ticking. 48 hours before the trail goes cold. From A&E and Crime House, this is the official podcast from the famous true crime series, The First 48. I'm Carter Roy. Every Thursday, I revisit a landmark homicide investigation in depth with long-form storytelling built for your ears.

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