Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - The Most Unhinged Listener Q&A Yet

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

CC: 467 In this week's episode Kail and Lindsie are back in Dallas and kicking things off with a round of completely unfiltered listener questions they’ve never seen before. What starts as a simple Q&A quickly spirals into chaotic and hilarious conversation.From navigating the complicated realities of co-parenting and divorce to the unexpected ways people process grief, Kail and Lindsie open up about the messy parts of life that don’t always get talked about. Along the way, the conversation takes plenty of wild turns-covering relationship dynamics, self-sabotage, awkward moments, and the kind of brutally honest stories that only seem to come out when these two get behind the microphones together.For full videos head to patreon.com/kaillowry To send in your Foul Plays email us at [e-mail] your Kitty Gang merch hereThank you for checking out our sponsors!Quince: Right now, go to quince.com/coffee for free shipping and 365-day returns. Progressive: To get your auto insurance quote head to progressive.comBetter Help: This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Visit betterhealth.com/coffee today to get 10% off,RoBody: Find out if you’re covered for free at ro.com/coffeeconvosSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Crisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever.

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Welcome back. We're still in Dallas. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convo's podcast. we are going to start this episode off hot from shit that we don't even know about.

Instagram questions from Madison. We have never seen these. No, and I'm excited because the first one is outrageous. It says from Life of LaRue, switch baby daddies for a month or go without seeing kids for a month. Go without seeing kids for a month. Oh, I want to switch. I want, Will is funny. Will's funny.

No. I would love for you to deal with four of mine. and I take Will. Like you would give me your four for that one? Yeah. Terrible trade off. Terrible. I feel like it's fair.

Have you ever dealt with a passive-aggressive person? Yeah, I think everybody in my own life. You think I'm passive-aggressive? No. No, you're not passive. You're pretty direct. I feel like I'm aggressive. We also still have a live audience as well.

You know what? On second thought, it's just the baby dads that are passive-aggressive. Yeah, I have a passive-aggressive one as well. Is he? Yeah. I think I only met Will once or twice. You can have the mentality that you have because you weren't married to the man. You don't have a kid with him.

No, I'm literally going a month and I'm probably going to Greece and staying for one entire month and not dealing with a baby dad. Okay. I think that's fair. Like if you think that I would ever take on one of your baby dads, I'm out. Honestly, though, like I like as hard. as the summers are without Lincoln now, we have only done one summer, but the summer is quickly approaching. It is hard to not have him. In the summer, it just feels like something is missing when I have my other kids. I low-key wouldn't mind having the setup for all of them. Like, I just

have all my kids during the school year and they go to their dads for the entire summer. And in that way, when we're talking about go without seeing the kids for a month, that is, I would be okay with that. That could be a show. It's like Daddy Daycare. And just ship them off to their dads for the summertime. Yeah. I don't think I could get behind that, but I understand why you have that mentality. Next question, sassy, boogie, Natty says, how do I get through divorce grief? If you're like me, oops. Because if you have a kid with, well, I think if you have a kid with somebody, you never, you never really get over it. Yes and no. For a period of time, I felt like I had the best of both worlds, but I also did not cope in a healthy way.

I don't feel like I became like this crazy adrenaline junkie for a period of time. And I was skydiving and traveling and dropping 20 grand on a yacht and just not not handling it well. I think we all handle things differently, but are all going through kind of like the same journey. Now, I can say for a fact, if I was married to one, will and I did not have a child and he has said this we would never speak again ever oh like we could live in the same town and like remember when I got divorced and he took croaker and I took public and I took a couple restaurants like never cross paths like nothing yeah but I think that you're constantly going through divorce when you have a child yeah Joe texts me yesterday about can can

can you have Elliott on my day and I said respectfully Joe don't text me Elliott is 16 he can ask me if he wants to go. Yeah, see, I, like, I wouldn't. It's the constant need to have some form of communication or some ask or, and I mean, we do it too. Yeah, we do. And it's just annoying. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't want to be attached to this person. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have procreated with the people that I procreated with. I don't think they would have procreated with me. But I'm talking from like a, you're crazy if you think that. No, I'm not. I mean, I look, no. I'm just thinking like biologically speaking.

I said, I know two of your baby dads that would have absolutely still picked to procreate with you and they give you the biggest hell. Fair. Do you know which ones I'm talking about? Yes, I do. Yeah. T. Dot Nia M said, lose all your episodes or leak your photo gallery.

Lose all my episodes. Lose all my episodes. Because the screenshots will send me to prison. Let me pull up my screenshots. really quick and just sort of give you guys an idea. My screenshots are weird. That's the thing. They're not going to get me in trouble.

They're just weird. And I don't want anyone to question my mental health. Kiel, as if people already don't question it without seeing your screenshots. My screenshots include a Berlin woman sentenced to four years in federal prison for stealing $1.7 million from an OC home builder. A DM that I got about Janelle. Why? Do you need to say that? Because she's coming for us next week.

Should we go on the Mulf mindset? No. I didn't even know that Miltf was like a word that was still used. My screenshots include Nordstrom in Delaware is going out of business. So we have effectively nothing left. Photo that came up on my Facebook of Becky's donor for Bex in people you may know on my Facebook. Okay. And then a screenshot from my Amazon, a screenshot of our Facebook group.

Like they're weird. So I'm not necessarily worried about my screenshots, like, whatever. I just... Do me to tell you what's in my screenshots? It's like, it goes from... This shows you the level of psychosis. It goes from hair inspo to woman netted 3 million in online romance scams to screenshots of people. Romance scams?

What is that? Screenshots of people that I know that have been arrested. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So that brings me. me bring something up. So yesterday I posted a video on TikTok talking people were like, Kail, what have you got done to your face? Like can you talk about things that you've gotten done? And so I post the video. I really haven't done that much to my face. Like I've done my chin, my teeth, and I get disport, which is comparable to Botox, which again, not to be confused

with filler. They're different. And in the comments, somebody said that the doctor who did my teeth also did their teeth and was arrested for fraud. And I said, what the fuck? So I go online and I Google and I go down this rabbit hole. And I'm thinking that it was related to his schooling, his medical license as a dentist. Like I'm panicking because I'm like, what if something's wrong with my teeth? Like do I need to go get these taken off and then like look like my, because my natural tooth is still under them? I don't have the ones that you shave down.

I just have the veneers that go on top of your regular two. So I start panicking. I go down a rabbit hole. And thank Brianna. because it was it's fraud that has to do with the NBA. So I think some, I think the gist of what was going on. Why is there so much fraud in the NBA? Like, I don't understand.

Well, I think what was happening was that he was doing maybe in exchange for NBA players to do their teeth, but then he was charging like the NBA's like health plan or something, something along those lines. So he was sentenced to like three or four years. And I was like, I don't give a fuck about that. Like, I really don't. And so whatever that has. Well, what if you have to have any touchups done?

Like, he's just in the pin and then he comes out and then you get it done. Well, I think he's about to get out. So, like, I would go back to him because I don't give a fuck. He did a great job on my teeth. So what the fuck does that have to do with me? He's not defrauding me. I don't give a fuck about his fraud. Okay.

Next person says, well, her name is Morgan K. Robson. Robinson. Robinson. Would you rather snore a line of toenails or lick earwax? Neither. I'll jump out of window first. I won't do either. I would not do either.

Lindsay Clancy that shit and jumped to my own death. Like, literally. Snort a line of toenails is crazy. I'll throw up. B. B. Cryer said, have you ever, have your kids ever walked in on you doing the deed? Because mine did.

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Yes. No, but also yes. Like, no, but. What does that mean? Like, I didn't see one of them do it. but you know that I know that it was done based off of the evidence that was explained. Yeah, this has happened more time time.

Mom, why didn't you have on clothes? Mom, why was he laying on top of you? What do you mean? Why are you in my business? And why were you there? Like, I heard noises. What were, what noises? It was a movie.

There was a movie on the TV. Like, we were wrestling. The moans were crazy. I put him in a guillotine. Okay. Okay, KCB Stewart says fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses. Wait, the ADHD is ADHD. Fight one.

Horse. So a horse that is the size of a duck. No, a duck that's the size of a horse. Or a hundred horses that are the size of a duck. Going to do the one. I'm going to do the 100 duck-sized horses. Why would you do that? That feels more manageable to me.

No, that feels way more chaotic. And the answers that we both gave do not surprise me based off of personality. Also, based off the number of children we have as well. Like, you're going to tell me that you're going to fight 100 things or just like one thing. I'm going to fight 100 things because it is very on brand for me to do that every day of my life. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. And we're talking about International Women's Day because March is the time to celebrate. It's a moment to celebrate all the women's strength and progress.

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That's BetterHelphelp.com slash coffee. Also, with that being said, realistically speaking, how many pigeons do you think you could fight off? None. Like if you were outside walking downtown and all these pigeons fly after you, How many before you're? Oh, I was thinking penguin. You mean? I don't know that.

Like what they released in Home Alone, like in that scene, those birds? The ones that I like, remember on Hey Arnold? Hey Arnold. Move it. Football head. And the grandfather, or no, there was a pigeon man. And he had all the pigeons and he gave Arnold the lesson. But like, realistically, if they're all flocking around you, how many?

None. I'm going to let him kill me. Yeah. You know that I have like an irrational fear of birds. Remember when we talked about it when you were going to get a parakeet or whatever that kind of bird was? I'm so thankful every day of my life that I don't have a bird. Because it was going to be the mascot of Coffee Convo's podcast. I was going to get a ferret.

Yeah. Could you imagine me strolling around just like in my bronco with a ferret and a ball? Oh, Rick. I love this question. Rick Jacks. What a name. When do we get more? This summer. We're going on tour this summer. Super excited. And so far we have 12 cities and Lindsay and I we're waiting on the dates. So Lindsay can pick which one she wants to go to. We just don't have the dates yet. We have the cities, but no dates.

Remember when the last tour happened and I wasn't going to go on it and then I ended up on three out of four shows? There was six. Oh, there was six? Yeah. But still, you came on almost half of them. Okay. Next question. Oh, craziest place you have had sex. Craziest place. I'm about to be 34 years old. I don't have sex and crazy places at this point.

And my boyfriend's too tall to fit in a car, so we can't. Crazyest, probably the Nordstrom that's closing in that parking. Nordstrom? In the parking lot. Okay, so one time when I was, like, rekindling an old flame, we decided it was a good idea. We were going to take the Bronco. We're going to go to the mountains, and we're going to go to this little cider company, and we're going to sit and watch football, and we took our,

own little like homemade tarkootery and you know like brisky things started to happen so he just whips the bronco into a gravel lot and I mean that was the wildest thing I think I've ever done in my entire life because you have a good time I did and then I went to the car wash the next day because I'm like what happened in here like I need to wipe away the sin wipe away the sin or the scent both I'm going with both I don't know that I've ever really had sex in a crazy place that I can think of that I didn't you conceive like two kids in a car yeah Elliot and Lux that's crazy like if I was gonna conceive it would have been that time I love the next question so much what's something you judged other girls for and then ended up doing I can

think of a lot of things I can think of a lot of things one of them is getting pregnant as a teenager it would be like what how the fuck is she going to go on with her life what is she going to do about school is she going to get a job who's going to watch the baby like I just didn't I couldn't comprehend getting pregnant in high school. I didn't want kids. And so I was also just like, what do you even do with a baby, you know? And then the second, one of the second things is someone cheating on you and then me outing them publicly. And then, like, I did that, and then that happened to me. So I guess that's not really like I judge someone and then I did it. Oh, you outed somebody else cheating. Yes. And then it, karma, karma really hard.

Really, really hard. Yeah. I think the only one that like sticks out to me is going back to an ex because I have repeatedly done it. Yeah. Like I'm always saying, oh, well, if it doesn't work out, like that's the sign. I don't really judge people for going back to their ex most of the time. Like, obviously there's exceptions to every rule. But I was always going back to exes.

So I don't have room to judge when other people go back to their exes. And I mean, Ike and I had that conversation yesterday where I literally, was like, I don't care. Like, people are going to do what they're going to do regardless. And it doesn't matter what everyone's friends are saying. You're just setting them up to lie. Because that's what I was doing. You didn't lie to me.

No, I didn't because I didn't feel judged by you. But I would lie to Becky. I would lie to Bone. I would lie to Sterling because I didn't want them to know. And so, because I didn't want them to judge me. And I... That was like back in the day when you used to like turn your location on and off. And then...

Remember when you did that? Yeah. that was rough. That was a rough time for me. And I'm like, bitch, I know where you are. Like, immediately when you turn that location off, like, come on. You knew who I was with. Come on. You were at his mom's house. Okay. What is the most humiliating thing that you've done for male validation? A threesome. Oh, I remember this. It was at your house, right? And your basement? No, it was in the guest room. That's when you farted in the closet. No. That room didn't even have a closet. I'm just kidding. Wait. So, so you, you

You had a threesome because he wanted to. No, but I thought, like, if I do these things for him, he'll never want to go somewhere else. Like, he'll love it here. No, because you're setting the tone that you're going to continue doing that. Right. Like, at what point was it going to stop? Or were you just going to continue doing it?

At that time, that version of Kail, I would have done anything for him. Now I look at him and I'm like, you're missing fucking teeth, your hair line is in the back of your head. Like, missing teeth, you know, we're going to. I'm getting canceled after this. Oh, Alessandra is going to rip me a new one. Oh, yeah. Editing is going to take us straight out.

Okay, I will just say the craziest thing are the most humiliating thing that I've ever done for mail validation. It's not really that humiliating is every time I go through a breakup, I put extensions in my hair and I don't even like to wash my hair. Every time. Not you on the last episode showing the fucking extensions. Like, that was literally the other day. I know. I went and got color mat. just right before I came here.

Jesse D. Casey says, have you ever sabotaged something just to feel in control? Yes, my entire life. I sabotaged my entire life. Like I'll sabotage and be like, I don't think you want to be with me because I'm basically like, I don't think you want to be with me.

I don't know how to explain what I'm going to say. So I'm basically putting it out there. Like it's what you fear is what you create. So I'm self-sabotaging the relationship, but there's nothing wrong. But it gives me a sense, it gives me a sense of being in control because I'm like, if I can predict this, I can predict how I'm going to feel, I can change how I'm going to feel, I can protect myself.

If I self-sabotage and it happens, then I don't have to worry. Then I can't get hurt. Exactly. You do the same thing. I do the same thing. Like, I have to break up with you before you break up with me because it will hurt if you break up with me. But it won't hurt if I'll break up with you, which it also fucking hurts. But see, I just had the conversation the other day that I like for somebody to break up with me so then I don't have it like on my conscience.

Like I can just like smooth sailing. And by smooth sailing, it does not mean that, like, I'm really sailing nowhere except my bed. But, like, I don't have to feel bad about it. If someone breaks up with me, which it hasn't happened yet. But if they did, my whole thing would be like, see, I told you. I told you. I knew that would happen. You and I are the same person in that regard.

Like, I will sabotage my entire life just to feel in control. Same. Every day. But, like, is that a mental disorder? Yeah. Is that trauma? Is that like childhood trauma? Yeah.

We'll just be having a good time and I'll look at him and be like, you don't love me, do you? Like you want to break up with me. You're not happy here, are you? You're not happy. I could tell. You didn't say that to me five hours ago and I know. I think our delivery is just different on the self-sabotaging, you know?

Like I will burn that shit all the way to the ground. No, I'll go to him and be like, you're acting kind of funny. Like, are you plotting to move out? Or like, because he told me. this story about like a past situation and I've kept it right here and now any time that I'm like feeling really insecure about something I'm like oh like you put yourself in that situation I'm like you're plotting and saving your money so you can move out I get it now and he'll be like

what the fuck are you talking about and I'm like just tell me if you're going to move out in 60 days like I need to know now and he's like the fuck are you talking about our brains are like a vault Because we self-sabotage, we take situations from things that we know and insert ourselves into that situation. And it's like, okay, this makes me feel in control. Why are we like this? It's a disorder. That's all I, that's all I've got. Okay, what is your favorite snack food?

Cheese-It party mix. Hmm. The one with like the pretzels, the cheesits, the little, they look like styrofoam balls, which they actually took that out. And I don't know why. Isn't that just cheese puffs? No, it's like a little, it's white and it was like a little, it looked like a styrofoan little ball. And I've been getting this, checks this snack party mix by Cheez-It.

And I'm like, I literally like that is one of the favorite items in there. And they took it out completely and I don't understand. Because it was probably styrofoam. Yeah, they're like, actually, we shouldn't have people eating these. My favorite snack food, I don't really feel like I'm a big snacker, but I've been living off Doritos for the past two weeks. That's a weird snack. Why?

It's like like love. Yeah, but I feel like Doritos is like specific. Like that's, that doesn't feel snacky to me. Okay, but do you also go down like this path where you want the same thing for like a long period of time? And then all of a sudden you hate it. Yeah. Like you wake up one day and you're like, that is no longer good to me. Well, that's our ADHD because I have hyperfixation snacks and I have hyperfixation drinks.

And I have hyper fixation things. Doritos wore out. It's welcome on me. Oh, really? Like, yeah. And now you're done? Yeah, I'm done. Like, I can not look at a bag of Doritos at all.

Interesting. Are you cool ranch or nach? So we do walking tacos sometimes and those are nacho cheese, not spicy nacho. The nach cheese. Yeah. But like if I was going to eat a snack of Doritos, I would go Cool Ranch. Cool ranch. But sometimes they don't put enough seasoning on them.

Also, I had this idea. So I was trying to figure out if I could make the season. from the cool-ringed Doritos and put it on chicken. Oh, that would be good. So I was like they should sell that flavoring separate. Also, if they do this, I want royalties. And I'm putting that out here right now. This is not the first time I've said it.

So if it does happen, you owe me money. Put the seasoning on chicken. Or have you ever done the Ritz Cracker or encoded your- Oh, yeah. Well, I don't cook, but I know what it is. I haven't done the Ritz Cracker thing that I can think of. I might have did it once, like, years ago. but like you can like basically make that the breading and then bread the chicken in it.

We could do that with Doritos, Cool Ranch Doritos. You could, but that sounds like very unhealthy. You know what I mean? It's like you're trying to do something good by cooking the home cook meal. And then you're just like slathering that shit with something terrible. That's what I was saying like the seasoning would be a better option. Remember when I sent you that article and it was like all of these things are going to be banned in the U.S. And Doritos were on it and I still went bought them.

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loving them. Right now, go to quince.com slash coffee for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it, and you will. Now available in Canada also. Don't keep settling for your clothes that don't last. Go to QI-N-C-E dot com slash coffee for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash coffee. your most unhinged business idea or career move. I think this entire podcast is unhinged from start to finish, from first episode to current. I really, I mean, maybe killer sports because it's gone so quickly,

I probably should have slowed down a little bit. No, us thinking that we're organized enough to go on a tour. Yeah. Like, that's crazy. No, truly it is. I don't, maybe pothead hair care because, I mean, they're now lighting it on fire, but that was like a good move.

Like I, that marketing was crazy work, you know, in a good way. I hated the fact that you had pothead hair care. People didn't understand the play on words. Like it was infused with CBD and I don't think people. Remember when I told you I hated that name? The name didn't,

didn't hit the way that it was supposed to because it was supposed to be a play on words. Like pot head. That doesn't mean that we smoke weed all day, right? Like no shade to anyone who does. But like that wasn't the move. It was that it was CBD infused. So that was probably, Most hinged business idea that was not a business idea was being a part of reality TV.

Reality TV is a mental illness. Like to participate in it is a mental illness. Like you have to have one to do it. Because when I look at people like Bristol Payland who literally walked away from that paycheck and never looked back, I'm like, clearly you're not unhinged like the rest of us. Like you're a normal person. She just wanted to, you know, do real estate. Good for her. Good for her.

But no, it literally is a mental illness to be on reality TV. Okay, worst sexual experience. I forgot I had a tampon in. Live studio audience is fucking gagging. And Stacey podcasting again in front of Stacey ever, ever again.

A tampon in is crazy. But he didn't feel it because he was so small. Remember when I got so harassed by the audience when I was like, how could anybody ever have sex and never? not know that they have a tampon in. Like, how is it getting lost? And then it happened to you, didn't it?

No, it didn't happen. From tip to end, the tampon takes up my whole space. So how is that getting, like, how is it roaming around? The person that I was having sex with was so small. And I shit, like I'm not being. Like, I'm not being funny when I say this. based on a Google search, he has a micro penis. So that's how.

That's also, remember when I was talking about the article that I found really, really late night, where it's like serial killers have micro penises. So really watch out with, hey, come here, dude. Because I, no, no. No. I fully understand now in this moment why people say, Kail, I'm not talking to you because I don't want to be a subject of your podcast. I fully understand now because we need ripping people to shreds on here.

I know. I mean, it's just so crazy. So those are the answers that, unfortunately, I'm going to have to go with. Okay. The next one. Wait, can we go back to the tampon? Yeah, sure. That was.

Because I didn't give my worst sexual experience. Oh, I didn't. when your hair caught on fire. Yeah. When I was literally laid out, you know how you're supposed to be laying on a bed? Like, but I was like,

like, let's say if the mattress was like from the wall, you know, like, I'm laid out this way. Well, I was laying like, and there was a candle. Oh, I'm fucking there. There was a candle. And all of a sudden,

I smelled burning. And I'm like, what's burning? and all of a sudden my hair is just inflames the smell of human hair on fire is so disgusting did I tell you about the time with the vacuum

what the vacuum recently no first of all I just want to say like do you think we're going to get fired from podcast one yes like Stacy's going to go back they go back we have a business dinner

tonight with podcast one and immediately. They're going to be like the dinner's off. Yeah. We have to let them go. Yeah. They were subject to this. And so this was not sex related, but when I was 10, so my mom had this thing.

Like my mom was not around a lot in my childhood, right? Like she was around, but she neglected me, right? But I still had chores. So it did not matter whether I lived with her full time or not. I was doing fucking chores and they needed to be done when she got home from work. You were Cinderella with no siblings. Yeah, exactly. and also no parents.

And so I just knew that I had to vacuum the house before my mom got home. And so I'm home alone. Susie really preferred for all of the vacuum lines to be a very certain way with no footprints through them, whatever, whatever. So this was back in, I mean, I was probably between 10 and 12 at this time and followed the bouncing well here because it's the hair situation. I think I told you this where I knew Susie was coming home and you wait until the last hour before they were coming home. to get everything done because then it was nice and fresh and whatever, right? And this was during those heavy vacuum. So there was no cordless.

There was no sharks. This was like a heavy fucking vacuum with a bag. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like I got to get under the couch. And so it was, I like took the hose out of the vacuum and I went to go vacuum under the couch. And so I am looking like this. Only this would happen to you. The vacuum falls over.

and the bottom of the vacuum pulls my hair and it's spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning. And it's burning. And I can smell it and there's nothing I can do. And the angle is so weird because my hair is caught in the vacuum and I stayed like that until my mom got home.

So your mom came home and the thing was still going? Yes. What did she do? I think I might have been able to pull the cord out so it might like thinking that it was a purple vacuum. It was like a weird like burgundy almost I want to say it was like a, was there like a whirlpool or like a devil something? Dirt devil. Dirt devil. It was a dirt devil. And so I think I might have pulled the cord out,

but I was on the ground because I couldn't do anything at that point. Susie comes home from Happy Hour and her daughter's just like laid out like this. And I'm like this. You know what? If I ever saw Susie again, I would ask her if she remembered that. Anyways, that is, so I know the smell of burning hair from that. So I can only imagine like you're just like legs wide open and now your hair is on fire. It was kind of the same thing, you know? And then like the patting it out and then still going is like crazier. You know what I mean? It's like, I got five minutes in me. So the second my hair gets caught on fire, I'm done. Like me. You're like, hold on. Just put the fire out and keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Okay. This person, Caitlin, I don't know how to say. Chavez says, do you lotion your

butt crack? No. Yes. I lotion every crevice of. everything my butt crack is so deep at all but but how does one get a deep butt crack like how does one get a deep butt crack like is that genetic well i've always had a long butt is that like the is like that what they call like plumbers butt i don't know what plumbers butt is but like hold on i'll show you what it looks like the whole thing about like my butt crack though like if i lotioned it Yeah. It would be so deep because like the lotion would then like rub. I end up, I think it would end up chafing.

Okay, so lotioning process. Do you lotion or ole? What? Do you lotion or oil? Oil? I lotion. I old. But if I'm going on a trip like for this, I had to get a little lotion.

But honey, I will have that lotion going all which a ways in every crevice. I'm also scared of my pH being thrown off. That's why you use a legend that has a pH balancer in it. I literally said to Ike the other day, I looked at him and I said, I just want you to know that I've been thinking about this for several days. Thank you so much for never throwing my pH off. Wait, listen, any man that throws your pH off, get rid of him now. It's a bad sign. Like, I am convinced at the point that your pH gets thrown off, it's because he stuck at somewhere else.

Oh, and did? Yes. Ended. 1,000%. Wait, I've got to show you plumbers butt. I want to know if your butt crack looks like this. Not that it's really my fucking business, but does it look like that? So, I'm saying like it's deep.

Like if this is the crack. Yeah. Like there's like a lot of it's like an onion. You got to like peel it back. Yeah, you would have to like Kylie C 1984 said, who are you talking about in all of these cryptic posts, Lindsay? David. What cryptic posts are you making? Unfortunately, I'm going to have to address quite a few things, but yes. You're going to do that on the Southern Tea? Mm-hmm. Okay. I am. There's a lot, lots of things happening in my world, but yes, the cryptic post are

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Ooh, rate your best sex from all of your partners or maybe top three. Number one, I kind of feel like that's like throw in shade a little bit. Like were you trying to be a shady bitch when you said, or like at least the top three? Like maybe the top three, meaning. We're talking about best sex. Yeah. But like was she throwing shade when she said or maybe the top three? like as if, you know, there's like a plethora of people to go through.

I can still count on my hands. Thank God. Well, me too. I don't even think about them. Best sex. I mean, we don't have to say, do we have to say the names? Rate the best sex from all your partners or maybe top three. I think they're asking for names is my guess.

My top three is everybody's worst nightmares. My top three, I'm not going to say the names. Okay. But what I will say is that I think that. sex is based off of the like emotional and mental chemistry for a woman. Okay. So somebody else might have had sex with this person and been like, that guy sucks. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, for sure. So I definitely think it's like the mental place that you're in when you're doing it. I'm going to text you mine. I think there's something to be said for like very like long term, long term committed sex. I think that's like good for me, you know? Mm-hmm. Okay. Can you text me yours? Because I feel like you're doing, like I just texted you mine.

Okay. I think that you're going to be surprised by mine. Tell me if you're surprised. I'm shocked by two and three. I'm not shocked by number one. Like you think that two and three. I guess, hold on. No, the one that you just text me, you're thinking that because I think that was a time of my life that I'm just like, oh, this is like fun, wild and crazy. But like if I had it again, I wouldn't want it. Oh, I mean, that's my number three, too. My number three, I would never want that ever again. You couldn't pay me.

Yeah. But pay to fuck is crazy. You could not pay me to ever sleep with that. You couldn't pay me to look at that man and... But three doesn't surprise me. I guess where he falls on the list surprises me. Number two surprises me through and through. So my list is actually like, number one, it does not really have anything.

to do physically. It has to do with like the mental and emotional connection. Okay. My number two was the emotional connection was so strong. Okay. That that makes sense. My number three is because I was committed to that person for such a long period of time. I'm deleting. I am deleting these because I'm not trying to hurt nobody's feeling.

Can you just imagine like we just have a bunch of gifts like out there of us just like with our pinky fingers going? Like it's rude as fuck. You're not tall enough to talk to me like that. You are not. You are absolutely not. Okay. Let's see.

You know, I was really hoping that this was going to kind of die. And I feel like it just hasn't. But people keep asking and I get DMs about this literally every day. Has Alison Cooch apologized to Lindsay? Did she? And I don't think that you and I actually got to tell the story about how that whole situation kind of went down. That was when I got COVID. and had the UTI and kidney infection.

Remember that? Yeah. And I was laid out. And so I'm like on all these antibiotics. I've taken NyQuil and Kail's like blowing up my phone. And I'm laying next to David and he's like, hey, babe, like she never texts us late. Like something's going on. And I'm like, what could possibly be going on?

Please tell me why some fucking troll takes a screenshot of my story, makes a whole profile on Instagram, no photo. posted nothing and starts trolling Allison Cooch. Pretending to be me. So I see this and I comment on it and I'm like, I don't think that's her. Like obviously I couldn't tell and like what we know about laws and lawyers and defamation and this, that and the third. I didn't want to say for certainty, but like I think I know you well enough to know that that wasn't you, but I commented and I'm like, I don't think that was her.

And like people, hundreds of people responded. I know. And so I'm like, I have to tell Lindsay about this because I like Allison. Like I follow her content. I like her a lot. And so I was like, oh my God. Like she has to know that that wasn't actually you. Well, so number one, I don't think that she knew who I was.

And I, in fairness, had never even heard of Allison. Well, what I mean by she has to know that wasn't you. Like I wanted to tell her it wasn't you. Right. You know what I mean? Like I was like she needs to know like this is not, that couldn't be Lindsay. So I wake up the next morning and number one, I responded that night on the thing and I was like, this is my photo, but like, this is not me. I've got better things to do than like make a fucking troll account.

If I just want to say something about somebody, I'll just do it on my Instagram story. You know, it's like, what are you talking about? Yeah. And so send an email to her team and ask, you know, for it. to obviously be removed that I didn't do it. And would she be willing to address the situation, not really asking for an apology, but just address like what happened? And they said no.

Are you serious? Yep. And I have the email to prove it. And then try to make it confidential and respond. I responded back and I said there's nothing confidential about this email. I wonder if Allison knows that though. Like I follow Allison. Like I said, I liked her.

I had her on Barely Famous. Like I, she seems like someone who would, is very reasonable. Just based off of that experience, no. And also I private message her and never got a direct apology either. That actually really upsets me. I was upset for a while. And again, I'm not in this situation. But if I was and I did this, I would feel like, okay, let me correct it and be like, you know, I'm sorry to whoever.

like I thought this was really like who I thought this who was who it was. I don't know. That just seems really weird. Yeah. So private messages, there was never an apology. And with that whole situation, when you are a public figure or you're putting yourself out there in the public for people to consume whatever you're putting out there, there is a risk that you're running.

And I'm not saying that it's right to be trolled. But there is a risk that you're running for random people to have all of these opinions. about stuff. You are just as guilty as the person that sent that message to you when you did what you did to me and posted it publicly because somebody trolled you so you trolled back the person that was me, but it wasn't me. So do you think she knew who you were when she posted it? No, I don't. It was just very disheartening and it's like if I did that to somebody, which number one, I wouldn't. But if I did that to somebody and I knew I was wrong, I would publicly take a stage and be like, hey, you know, like this was kind of fucked up.

Yeah. Yep. That's deep. Well, now that we went so deep, we're going to go deeper. Length or girth? Both are important. But I would say girth is more important than length, unless it's a micropenus, and obviously we have bigger fish to fry.

I'm going to go with, like, the average length. So like a six, you know? I'm fine with average. Like six, six and a half. But if it's six and it looks like a pencil, don't pull your pants down. Do not come over here. I am fine with like an average size.

Like I don't care, but like a little bit of girth is nice. I think the perfect, what is the perfect size dick for you? Is. Okay. I'm not asking you. You were like me in federal court when they asked me when I was testifying and they're like, can you identify your dad in the courtroom? I've never done anything. And I'm like, that man? That man's right there. No, like, what's his name? Isaac's. Weiner.

Okay, but what is the perfect size? I mean, are you talking like Coke can or? Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to look and find an object. There's no objects that I really see. I'm going with it. It's a healthy length. It's a healthy girth. I'm fine with it. I'm good with it. I'm content. I'm happy. six to six and a half inches and I don't know how really to measure but I'm going to go with like that now we're about the same

yeah because if it's not hitting the walls like go to bed the cervix the cervix if it doesn't hit the cervix you're out okay Kaylee Elise says when was the last time y'all pissed each other off It's been a long time since you pissed me off.

I can't think of a time that you pissed me off recently. Have we got any catfights? No, not lately. We used to get in catfights a lot. Yeah. You and I are what I imagine like Mary Kate and Ashley would have been like back in the 90s. Yes. You know?

Well, I had gone to you a few weeks ago and I said, oh, and then she said this and you were like, yeah, I told her that. And I was like, oh, like it was you. And I was like, okay. Yeah. But like, I don't get. pissed off at you really like if i did something i'm gonna be like yeah i said that let's see the next person says what is the craziest thing that you have heard from each other um i can't list one thing i never know what's gonna come out i never know what's gonna come out of your mouth like

the play with your pussy not me that was i i like used to say that that's why yeah that was crazy like it took me by surprise yep and knocked me on my ass you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today, smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at progressive.com. Progressive Casually Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

Okay, if you disappeared, what's the first crime people would assume you committed? Murder. Arson. Why is that so casual? Like, why do we both say those things so casually? Wait, is this, like, are we going to go to jail for just saying that? Because I don't want them to say it's conspiracy. Because if my house ever caught on fire by accident, if I, if my house caught on fire,

I have seven kids. If my house caught on fire on accident and they're like, well, they said on a podcast in March 1st of 2020, Kale said she'd go to jail for arson. Now I'm a conspirator. Can you imagine like that just happened? I mean, God forbid, like I so hope that it doesn't happen. But could you imagine that they pull coffee combos podcast audio for evidence? People do it to me all the time and they try to submit it in court.

So that would not surprise me. I have dated multiple people who they're friends. And when I say friends, we think that we only have one guy listener. No, it's every person that I've ever dated. their friends listen to Coffee Convo's podcast and use it as evidence against me. Every time. And it's weird because nobody's ever pulling karma and chaos. Nobody's ever pulling barely famous.

It's always coffee combos. And it never fails. Like I was just in court three weeks ago and they used transcripts from Coffee Convo's podcast. I'm like, this is the trial prep that I needed because I already, we have the transcript. So thank you. Oh, my God. Okay. So we have some Facebook group questions.

The first one is, and I normally do not speak on this kind of stuff, but first question is, is what do the girls think of Savannah's most recent interview on The View? And while we don't speak or necessarily completely politically align, I think that it takes a lot of courage and a lot of balls to be her age and to go and sit with women who do that for a living on a platform that is so, widely broadcast and is something completely different than what she believes. Like, I'm proud of her for that. I don't want to make it a political conversation. Yeah. I'm just saying her presence doing that and taking that opportunity, I'm proud of her for it. The next question is, oh, wow, if you were being executed and you were given the opportunity

for these final things, what would you choose? Final meal, final phone call, final song to listen to. or anything else you can think of. Final phone call. No. I, I, I, no. I could not. No.

I'm going final meal. Big Back University. Big Back University. Double cheeseburger add mac sauce. I mean, I just don't understand the final meal thing. I've never really been able to get behind it. It's like you're dying. Why are you doing that?

I don't think that I could face somebody in a final phone call. I don't think that I, like knowing I'm about to, And also I have seven kids, so unless they're all together. But then there are so many other people that I would want to, like, thank or, like, just tell them I love that. So, like, one final phone call would not be enough. And I don't really listen to music as much as I used to. So I don't really care about that. It would be final meal out of these three options.

I mean, I just think the final phone call would give closure to the person that was losing you. It's not really about you, you know? I don't think that would give them closure because I probably didn't do it. Whatever I'm on death row for, I didn't do it. that you would go to prison for arson. But that, why am I on, why am I on death row for that? But yes, I could see you as a death row in me. What did I, what did I do?

I mean, I'd be there too. Murder. Oh. Yeah. See, but you know what? I can honest to God say that I have never thought about killing someone ever in my whole life. And I'm not saying this because we're on a public platform.

I cannot say that. Huh? I cannot say that. Ike and I have had conversations. He's like, someone breaks in the house, life or death. It's you or them. Could you kill somebody? No.

The answer is no. But I mean, when you're in a spur of a moment situation, let's say you're just like laid out with your man in the bed and some crazy person comes in there. It's like immediately reach for a weapon of some kind and try to take them out. No, I people overestimate how mean I am and over assume what I'm capable of. Ask I. I think he would tell you that he believes me when I'm. I say I could not kill someone. Life or death. I think that, and I think anyone that talks to me believes me when I say, I don't think I could do it. I'm at least blowing a toe off. Like,

like, I think that I would de, what is it, like, demobilize them, but I don't think that I could take a life in any way, shape, or form. I don't, because- I don't necessarily think that's the intent, right? Like, when somebody's protecting their home, it's not like, I'm shoot, do most people think, like, I'm shooting to kill? Yes. Yes. Because I, I don't think that. Yeah, and obviously, like we're talking about I've never been in that situation. If I was put in that situation in real life, maybe I would have a completely different mindset. But like thinking about it, like I'm thinking about myself in my room and like whatever, I honestly think that I would because distant cousin went to prison, he was shot first. He was shot first.

Let that sink in. Shot first. He shot back in self-defense and killed the person. and he went to prison for 18 months. That's crazy. And the mother of that victim forgave him because she understood that that person was not in the right frame of mind. He maybe had been using drugs.

I don't know the full details, but just from what I heard. And so in Delaware there's no self-defense laws. And so whether you kill them or don't kill them, I feel like not killing them would get you. The way that my conscience is set up, people think that trolls specifically. And I know there was a comment in the Facebook the other day that was like, we like when Kail and Lindsay addressed the people who love them more than the trolls,

but I think the hate is louder than the love sometimes. The trolls really hate, they think that I'm a horrible, horrible person, but I genuinely don't think that I could ever kill somebody in any way, like even if it was life or death. My conscience is not set up that way. Next question.

I kind of feel like this is a troll. It has to be. I've seen that account before. And it's like, you know, when you've got your fucking Pomeranian as your main profile photo, like show your mug. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Like. Tonnesia said, would you rather never feel anxiety or never feel sadness?

I would rather never feel anxiety. Never feel anxiety. Literally. I have high levels of anxiety, but I've never, remember me telling you like after I had Jackson and I had like all those like, what were those thoughts? Intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thought. I'm like, how can I get like so far to the shoulder that like nobody's going to hit us in like oncoming? I took, um, Medicaid, went to the doctor to my general physician and, you know, of course,

they asked you like all the questions. And I said, I'm, I feel like this is anxiety and they're, you know, asking me to explain it. And they're like, yeah, that, that's definitely what that is. Would you like to be medicated for something? And you know how I feel about medication? And I'm like, I don't know. They're like, well, how about this? We want you to try this for 30 days.

and then you're going to report back. We're not going to give you like a long-term prescription. It's going to be 30 days and then you report back. Second day I take this medicine. I'm laying in the bed and I'm like grabbing for stuff because I was seeing things. Like I felt like... What meds was that? It was an SSRI.

And like I felt like bugs were like crawling everywhere. I felt like a spider was in my eye. Okay. Oh, I'm going to pick one and you pick one. Okay. Would you guys go on the traitors show? Yes. Yes.

Like if they cast Kail and I on traitors, yes. But my question is, okay, first of all, we should go on the same season and we should have opposite roles. Yes. But if we did go on together or separate, would you want to be a traitor or a faithful? A traitor. I would want to be a faithful because people think I'm a traitor and I want to show people that I'm not. Yeah. Because I'm really not.

I would want to be a traitor. Wait, wasn't there somebody that was just like, um, on what's that Andy guy Andy Cohen is he Bravo yes they was doing an interview with somebody that said that they were drugged at a traitors like premier party or whatever did you see that no I just found out who Andy Cohen I think it was Lisa Renna who's that you would know her if you saw her okay but yeah that's apparently like drug shit that's wild she was so if we went on the same season you would want to be a faithful and I would be a traitor okay this one Why aren't you answering me?

I said if we went on the same season, you would be a faithful and I would be a traitor. Yeah, I said that too. But do you think? But we just gave it away. That's why they won't cast us now. Oh, they will. Wait, didn't we meet somebody

that was like a producer of traders somewhere? Did we? Yeah. Why didn't they cast us? There's so many shows I want to do. I want to do The Mask Singer. I want to do Traders. I want to do Special Forces.

Remember when people thought I was a ladybug on Mass Singer, but it was Kelly Clarkson? I would be fucking Cynthia from the Rugrats. Okay, this is the one that I'm picking. And we should save the rest of them for another episode. But this one is by Ashley Lynch. And her question is, who would you give the seat to first?

And the picture is an elderly woman, a pregnant woman, a woman with a baby, or a man with a broken leg. I'm going with the pregnant woman or the woman with the baby. Those are the who? I'm going with the elderly woman. there's something about there's something about old people that like just has a soft spot you know in my heart

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here I mean the wrong answer is definitely the man with a broken leg I would agree like honestly there could be four men and I would say nobody I'm not helping the man ever it's so messed up

is it it is but look I'm just looking at this photo and like look at that poor little lady's face like why is she standing up maybe she was trying to trying to get her steps in. She's not walking. He's standing. But the woman that's pregnant might have preeclampsia. You're assuming that. And the woman that is holding the baby might also be pregnant too. You know, that baby, well, technically based off of your experience,

that could be possible, but I'm going to go with no, number one. Don't say that I'm rage baiting you, but like those women chose those situations. No, no, no, no, we're not doing this. where Lindsay, the woman chose to continue life. I want to die when I'm 60. Like, I don't, don't ever worry about giving your seat up for me because I'm going to off myself. Do you know what I mean? Like, I chose to live that long.

It's kind of like not a choice. No, it is. It's like you just get old one day. You don't have to. So, yeah. Okay. On that note, we have foul play. Everybody just rage, but you just fucking rage bait.

It's not a fucking choice. I'm so pissed. Hey ladies, I'll start with the obligatory love. I've been an ad and listener of all the shows since day one. I have really enjoyed watching the growth over the past few years. We are around the same age and hearing life stories from you ladies has helped me never feel alone in my situation. I'm in. Now let's get into the story to start.

Trigger warning, this is foul. Fowl is also in caps. One night in my first year of college, as a lively 19-year-old, my boyfriend at the time and I took some Molly to have our own little party at home. We were getting down and dirty, but if you didn't, know guys can have a rough time getting it up while taking things like that if you know what I mean. So we decided to be adventurous and try some butt stuff on him. I'm so disgusted even thinking about this now. Wait, she did the butt stuff on him?

To him, yeah. Well, what kind of butt stuff can you do to a man? Just like, pegg him? You can peg them. Yeah, I pegged a guy before. Anyways, I'm a happily married lesbian now. We were going hot. Oh, sorry, we were going heavy.

his ass up doggy style and had anal beads all the way inside of him. He told me to pull it out quick, so I did. He legit diarrhea is all over me, all on my legs, on my hands. I left the room immediately and got in the shower. He changed the sheets and joined me in the shower. We never talked about it again or did butt stuff. He later sent a video of me smoking a bong naked to my dad after we broke up, but that's the story of another episode.

Wait, could you imagine? Imagine, like playing with a guy's asshole and then they diarrhea all over you and then never mention it again? Like, could you? Wait. Every time. Every time I'm doing that. The next time one of my baby dads fucks with me, I'm going to say, and that's why I pegged you.

Wait, you pegged your baby dads? No, just one. Why did you say all of them? I keep thinking all of them will let me do that? Just the one that asks for it. I actually for a multitude of reasons I believe all of them would allow you to do that not Elijah no no but I really he's kind of like the outlier baby dad yeah you know yeah for sure like that's Alessandra's like I'm editing this out wait so how does pegging just like really

start well so he wanted to put it in mine and I was like well if you want me to do if you want to do it to me let me do it to you and he's like okay but then I stopped because I didn't like it and he kept going to his self. He was doing it to him own self? Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. I got out of the shower. I completely got out and he was still going.

Just like ramming it up. So how do you just like casually get out of that situation? I was upset. You were upset by it? It's like my, it wasn't a pleasurable experience for me. Wait, did you cry? Yes. I actually screamed and then I cried and then I got out.

it's like there's nothing if somebody says they were going to peg me my boss is here our boss is here all right guys thank you for always supporting our show please subscribe and review on the apple podcast app follow or rate on spotify or listen wherever you get your pods for our latest merch visit coffee combos podcast.com to shop full video episodes are available on kale's patreon at patreon.com Do not forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. We hope you guys have a great week

and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. Like, what the fog? Oh, no. Wait, he's in there? Ludo TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. You swear.

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