Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - The Polly Pocket Airbnb

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Kail and Lindsie are coming to you straight from New York City ahead of the Webby Awards, and nothing about this trip is going according to plan. From lockboxes tied to trees and shower drains that don’t work, to airport chaos, public peeing confessions, and debating whether New York or LA is worse, this episode is all over the place in the best way.They also get real about something deeper: how being the financial provider changes the way women experience femininity, relationships, and motherhood. Kail and Lindsie open up about mental load, divorce, hiring out “husband chores,” masculine vs. feminine energy, and why carrying the responsibility for an entire household can feel so heavy even when you’re successful.Plus, one of the most unhinged poop stories this podcast may have ever heard.Get your Fatherless Behavior Tour Tickets herePlease vote for us in the lifestyle category here!For full videos head to patreon.com/kaillowry To send in your Foul Plays email us at [e-mail] you for checking out our sponsors!This episode is brought to you by booking.com. Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today.Quince: Right now, go to quince.com/coffee for free shipping and 365-day returns. Progressive: To get your auto insurance quote head to progressive.comBetter Help: This episode is brought to you by Better Help. Visit betterhealth.com/coffee today to get 10% off,Chime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to Chime.com/COFFEE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crissly. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Rolling. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convo's podcast. We are recording from New York. How are you? We're recording from a Polly Pocket studio. This is the most insane thing that I think that we've ever done. This is an Airbnb, but we actually just collabed with Mattel. It's just a B because it's like one bed. It's like one square foot.

I have never seen something like this ever in my life. The way that we could not get into this Airbnb last night because the lock was in a lockbox across the street tied to a. tree could not get into it with a 230 pounds six foot three man could not get into get the keek fob to get into this building the fact that we kept pressing buttons thinking that the narrative was going to change the guy called us like pull it pull it pull the thing we're like sir we are pulling we're doing our best the amount of lockboxes that are over there like the way that like new yorkers do things is just like so very different then it's fascinating though because they're really resourceful. We went from Atlanta, from the suburbs, to hearing fire trucks every five minutes last night. I broke up the trip Atlanta, L.A., New York. And L.A. is equivalent to New York in that

you could go four miles and you're going to be in the car for 45 minutes. It doesn't matter if it is on the same block. It will take you 45 minutes to get there in L.A. and in New York. Do you feel like it's been forever since we saw each other? Because I feel like, It wasn't, but it was. The time frame has been one week, but the, literally Sunday to Sunday. And then, but it felt like a lifetime of things have happened in those days that we didn't see each other. I mean, I've been in full-blown state court. Yeah.

And I've been in hell, literally. How was your L.A. trip, though? I hate L.A. So that's how that went. Like more than New York? Yeah. New York is more convenient for me because there's something on every corner. And then also I can go home in two hours. I can be home in two and a half hours where L.A. is like,

I took a red eye home. And again, like, it's so nice. The weather's great. But like there's no chickens in my front yard. There's no in L.A., like where we were, you couldn't have like land and a farm. And like the houses are just as close together in where we were in L.A. in Beverly Hills as it is here in New York. Yeah. See, I couldn't do that. I feel like my houses are like closer together than what yours are, but not. like this close. They're not, but you also have a yard and stuff. So it's like, yes, they're close together, but you still have a yard. Do you know that I have like 1.2 acres? Yeah, that's like to me, if you don't have a farm, that's perfect. And how many acres do you have? I live on four and a half. But then Elijah backs up to me. So if you, and it used to be one thing. So technically it's six. But do you all split and claim or you claim it all? No. I mean, now that we're not together, we split. So like I live on

four and a half. He lives on two. Makes sense. So. People want to know how it was me hosting in Atlanta. This was the first time. Lindsay and I have been podcasting since 2017 and that was the first time I've ever been to your house. Well, in fairness, I've only lived in that house less than two years. But like to one of my houses ever.

Yeah, I've never been to any of your houses. I've never been to your house. I know. Just content house. But it's because it doesn't like there's never really a time for it. Because anytime we're together, we are. recording or doing something for the podcast, it's like we're not just going to go shoot the shit and hang out on the couch. It's also usually not in our hometowns. Unless we're on a Mattel couch in New York City.

New York City is really interesting this trip. You know what I mean? We have not been in New York City together since this time last year. I will say that I feel like we were richer last year. In life or in funds? Well, in both. In both. Because if anybody looked at this, this Airbnb right now with what we're working with in comparison to what we had last year. Hi, are you looking at me over there? Alessandra is sitting on a toilet. I need to take a picture of her just like on the toilet doing her work. She's running audio from a toilet.

She's running. Okay, but while we're on the topic of finances, can we please dissect? Oh, here we go. We need to dissect James Charles video because it came across my for you page, another creator, screen recorded it. I did not see his video firsthand. Okay. Another creator, screen recorded it, put it on her video and then reacted to it. And then from there, other people did the same. So I've never seen the full one on James Charles's video. But basically he says that this woman, you know, lost her job when Spirit Airlines went away and reached out to James Charles and said,

you could help me so much. Here's like a go fund me link or whatever so she could pay her bills. And he ripped her to shreds, basically saying that she could go get another job. And people ask him for money every day. And, you know, it was just really distasteful, honestly. The entire situation was so distasteful to me because people ask me for money every single day and I don't rip them to shreds. I mean, I think you and I've had many conversations about GoFundMe's and we're kind of hesitant in regards to that because there have been so many fake ones that we ran across.

But for somebody to like rip someone to shreds because they sent them a message like that, like, no. You could literally not answer. All it took would just be to ignore it, delete it, whatever. But I also just want to say this. I've done collabs with brands where you create your own pattern or you create your own color way of something. Okay. Try to follow the bouncing ball here.

I'm trying. It's not difficult. Usually the brand does 90% of the work and you show up and you add a little razzle-dazzle. They're putting out the entire cost. they're doing all of the overhead and you get to collab and put your name on it and collect a percentage. Okay. I've done it. Okay. James Charles, to my knowledge, has never worked in the service industry.

James Charles, to my knowledge, got, you know. Who the fuck is James Charles? I'm pretty sure he's like an OG YouTube makeup artist. So like you started from the bottom on YouTube. You've not worked fast food. You've not worked in retail. You've not worked in any of these things. So like this makeup brand line that you've had and like the things that you've done in makeup is all like you don't know what it's like and what it takes to be looking for a job right now.

And we can say that because Keel's worked at McDonald's and I worked at Wendy's. First of all, I've worked fucking wild jobs just to make ends meet. Okay. To me. I know you sold feet picks. Feet picks. McDonald's, Cece's pizza. Okay.

Oh, you were Cece's girly. Oh yeah. Dog grooming salon, dentist office, Hallmark, the card store. See, I wish. The buckle where I met my ex-husband. The buckle where I met my ex-husband, Forever 21, Hollister. Like, I've worked at these places. You know what? I'm pissed off at Hallmark because if there was any business that, like, I could have, I feel like Hallmark makes so much money. Do you know sometimes I pay $4.99 for a card? You could buy some card stock and like literally print that out on your computer yourself for like 99 cents, but we're out here going to Hallmark getting fucking cards. And that's why I wish I owned Hallmark. Like I wish I knew about it before somebody knew about it. Well, so I say all this to say that like James Charles's experience in the creator and makeup industry, you can't hold like that doesn't hold a candle to the hard work that people.

And what I was about to say was I'm 99% sure that like, The employment market right now is the worst that it's been in any of our lifetimes. For sure. Like, I mean, it's like great depression vibes, you know? I love how Alessandra is just, like, taking the ugliest photos of me right now. So it's just, it's one of those things for me where James Charles is like, normally I would say that like sending out a go fund me link is kind of tacky. But like, desperate times call for desperate measures. And like you could just not respond is the vibe.

I mean, I tend to agree. amount of like go fund me's and stuff that I get all the time now have I participated in some yes because I think that they're believable there have been some that I've run across that's like they literally just made that up and send it to every creator that they know here's the thing in the beginning like in the early years I would send people a couple dollars here and there even if I've never heard of them in my whole life but now that my family is as big as it is if I gave every single person $20 that asked me for money I would be broke but like why was our Airbnb so much better last year. I know this is like champagne problems, but like what happened to us?

Because last year we stayed in Harlem. Okay. Well, I want to stay in Harlem next time. Yeah, I mean, that's fine. We just have to travel. I never. We are literally on the Upper East Side and I'm like, Harlem. We're on Lower East Side. Aren't we? Lower East Side. Whatever. This is where Brianna Chicken Fry lived and she was paying $14,000 a month for her rent. This is that area. There is no way I would do that ever. What would be the most you would ever pay for a place like this? Because I think 900 is fair. For this.

The rent in this apartment right now is over $6,000. How many square feet? Let's guess how many square feet this is. I'm going to say 752. I would say this is. 7502 square feet. This apartment. Yeah, but let me just like, bitch.

for a second because if you have ever been in a shower that does not drain, and I'm standing in my funk. You know what I mean? That's nasty. Like I'm standing in what LaGuardia had all over the place. It's like the most disgusting thing. Lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day, leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable, and still put together, especially when we're doing these back-to-back days of podcasting, it just makes getting dressed feel so much more simple. Quince has been my go-to and the fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering, and everything just works without overthinking it. Quince makes it so easy to refresh your every day this

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Now available in Canada too. That's QINCE.com slash coffee for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash coffee. So I sat on the tarmac for an entire hour and I just, went to sleep. Like, I am a queen of going to sleep on a flight before it ever even takes off. Do you take Benadryl or anything to make you, because I feel like I need to do that. It's called My Life Makes Me Go to Sleep. Okay, fair. I think the court thing quite literally took me out. And then I went on D&D for two days.

And then I did a packing and like reset day and then came here. So no, I just need to sleep and put a whole blanket over my head. and the guy that was sitting next to me, he was like, we, I see you're moving, but we haven't taken off yet. I'm like, fuck,

I thought we were there. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, why did he say? Falling, you know? Like, I'm like, wiggling around. Okay, let me fall. Don't fucking touch me.

And, like, also, let me use your shoulder. You're not fucking using it. Come on. Wait, why did he say I see you moving? I see you moving. I don't know.

I don't know if he thought, like, something was wrong with me under the blanket. Like, I have no idea why he did this. Yeah. And he just, like, tapped on me. But my whole blanket was on top of my head. I don't understand. Like, this wasn't like. Maybe he had a crush on me. Yeah. So I'm just like trying to, you know, I think that we've already gone up. We've come down. I'm about to get off the plane. Like, I'm going to go get 99 cent pizza. Oh, no, we haven't left Atlanta. Then we get to New York. I get off the plane, go to the bathroom, immediately started my period. Oh,

actually Johan's here with my tampons. So I just start my period. And then we get here and have the debacle of how we can't get into, like, we're literally wrapped around a tree. Like, do you understand the level of diabolicalness that we are, we were like hunched over a tree like trying to get into lock boxes? Do you understand that sounds like you crashed a car and dropped it around the tree with no context.

You said we're wrapped around a tree. Might as well have been. We get on the phone with the air. Airbnb owner and the lockboxes across the street tied to a tree and we got to try every single one with each of the codes. The codes weren't working. The fucking thing won't get open. It was literally midnight by the time we got in here. And Lindsay and I decide to order a pizza. And then it took way too long and then I couldn't even wash my feet when I got in the shower because it was trapping water. I also didn't understand that like in the suburbs when you turn on your water,

it just automatically gets hot. I guess in New York City like that's a different No, it comes from the depths of hell. Yeah, but like where does the water come from where I'm at? Like, it's a single family home where I think what is happening is like the water heater is probably in the basement and then it has to be divided between 100 apartments. There's the tampon. Polly Pocket Mansion. How can we help you? Wait, what were we talking about? We were talking about the tarmac and then you thought we were, you went up and came down and you couldn't wash your feet.

I couldn't wash my feet and I was like, just fuck it. Like, I'm going to go to bed. Next thing I know, why is there a fire going on in New York City? There was a fire. Well, I'm assuming because there was a fire truck that wouldn't stop. I never heard it. No. We must have been asleep already.

Do you all live near traffic? Also, no. So then how are you sleeping through that? I put a pillow over my head. I, and the craziest part is that the way that Lindsay and I's rooms are, set up here is that there is a paper like I heard you coughing but I did not hear an ambulance I coughed you like made a sound of some sort probably have COVID sorry if I do I mean it's fine I as long as it's not hantavirus when we heard about COVID that I did not leave my house like I planned

will's grocery store trips and sent him with Lysol and rubber gloves and I mean I was an extremist okay so hypothetically if this virus had an outbreak, which I hate that word. It is as bad. Outbreak to me is as bad as, like, moist. I hate it. But if there was another lockdown situation, what would you do? I don't want anyone to get sick and I don't want anyone to die, but I would be so happy

to be forced to stay home. Like a life break, right? Yeah, it would be such a break for me, a break for the kids. Like, yeah, like at that point, wouldn't we just like get a house together and just meet each other there? Oh, like we're not going to live in it full time. We're just going to go back and forth. I am not driving to Delaware. No, we'll meet in the middle. Oh, like a middle spot. Where is the middle spot of Delaware and Atlanta? I would say probably Virginia, North Carolina. How do you feel like the first lockdown affected our children? And do you feel like they affected, you have multiples? So did it affect your children in different ways based off of age? My answer might have been different closer to coming out of quarantine the first time, but I'm not seeing any effects of that now.

Like, I'm just not. And maybe that's a hot take. I don't know, but I do not recognize any single thing in my kids now. Jackson was in first grade when we walked down for COVID. And I feel like he grew so much, like individually because he just had us. that like he learned to be so much more self-sufficient through that time. Like he learned how to entertain himself in ways that I don't think he would have had the opportunity had he been at school. I had, I gave birth to Creed during COVID at home in 2020, July of 2020.

So that was like when I think we started coming out of the quarantine. Yeah. Was around that time. It was the end of July. And I don't see any effects of any of my kids because Lux was only three years old. so he didn't know any different. I still had playdates with people. Like there was still like in our community at that time.

So like we, they were still socialized in some ways. And then Lux, Lincoln and Elliott still had to go back and forth between my house and their dad's house because we were still doing 50-50 custody. And that didn't prevent the quarantine and COVID didn't prevent co-parenting. So. Actually went to court with Chris during that time. Court was open?

No, it was virtual. and it said in the order, it was ordered in the order at that time, you had to send the kids with the other parent unless they had COVID. Like any other illnesses, you had to send them unless it was COVID. That's so interesting. I filed for divorce in 2017, and I'm convinced that COVID was the reason that it prolonged us staying together. It was the best time of our marriage.

Are you serious? Like the best time of our marriage. And a lot of people would say the opposite. A lot of people would say the opposite that because they only saw each other, it ruined their marriage. Although me and Ike might as well be quarantined our entire relationship because... That's all y'all do anyway. At a 365 days, we were separated for four. I love it. I love it. I feel like because we didn't have the opportunity whenever we were married, because I was coming off of Chrissley knows best. So I was traveling a lot with Jackson. So Will was home alone by himself a lot. then he had a out of home, like, working job where he went to an office every day. And so then when he finally got to stay home, it was just us and the dog. So we got to see each other in a way that we hadn't seen each other for years. I think a lot of people had different experience. I think a lot of

people ended up breaking up or new relationships formed during that time because you COVID shut everything down. Anybody that you were dating or talking to, it was like, let's quarantine together. Let's be locked down together. And that would either make or break the relationship because you're like, okay, I don't know this person. I'm going to find out very quickly if this is going to work or not work. And I think that there's like a lot of stories to be told during that time. It's kind of like going on the first vacation. I read somewhere where or maybe it was like a TikTok, like when you get in a new relationship to take the trip so soon.

So that you can kind of like learn how each other travels and you're picking up on like how each other lives daily lives, even though you're in another. place. People were getting to experience that just through quarantine and COVID. And you do that very quickly. And then you don't have to worry about whether or not you have to decide if it's going to work or not because you're like, I'm going to figure that out. Tricia Paitis and Moses did that. Oh, wow. Why does it feel like they've been married for a long time? I thought they were married for like 10 years. Same. Because if you've ever seen like that dynamic, it just feels like old. You know what I mean? Like an old. True.

that is true well people are probably wondering why we're in new york and we are here for the webbies and i just i feel like i love doing this but at the same time it's just like not ideal timing when they do it on mother's day weekend every year do you feel like the webbies makes you nervous like you don't get nervous on a red carpet with people because you never know how those pictures are going to turn out and it's like you could post the best one on your own socials, but like those Getty images, if you look crazy in one single angle, that's the one that's going to get blasted everywhere. Honey, there is a Getty image out there of me that they use on every single article that they

decide to write about me every single week at this point. And it's like, can y'all just expire that one? Like I've had. Retire it. Just retire it. But I guess it's because they pay for it. It's because we don't call the paparazzi on ourselves. So they don't have. That was so shady what you just did. We do not call paparazzi on ourselves, so we do not get to have multiple options of photos. Correct. So they just recycle horrendous ones of us. Coffee Gombos podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash?

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For more information on APY rates, MyPay, SpotMe and Travel Perks, go to chime.com slash disclosures. And I just want to be very clear, people who are going through LaGuardia that have TMZ just there on standby. It's because they called or their PR called. Shots fired? Who did that? I'm not saying. I'm just saying that I feel like I get so nervous to do a red carpet because I feel like

I'm either going to look like the wrong way or like my pose is going to be the wrong way and I'm going to look back on it and be like, wow, we spent so much time getting ready and that just looks shitty. No, that's also a thing. And like, we know how out of touch we sound right now. But also when you're on a red carpet and you're like, great, I just know that that picture is going to be diabolical. And it's going everywhere. There's nothing we can do about it. And it's always the diabolical ones that go everywhere. Right. Like the really good ones. We think the badass. And then it's like, that's the picture. Like all of this for that. I hated my Webby look from last year. So I'm excited to have something else to post. like a new year, new me. Because it just wasn't, I feel like I settled on that. Because also, again, it was last minute and also got a stylist. And I'm so glad that I didn't get a stylist this year.

Because I think that if you take the time to style yourself, you know yourself the best, better than anybody else. And so I just think the result's probably going to be better, but TBD. TBD. Speaking of outfits, though, for the Webbeys, can we walk through what the process looks like selecting an outfit because I feel like our processes would be completely different. Obviously, we both used. Didn't we use the same stylist last year? Yeah. Yeah. Use the same stylist. I actually loved your Webby's look from last year. It was very me. It was very you. I just feel like

the color of what I wore was me, but the vibes weren't really me. I think too, the Webby's is kind of cool because you see people that have all different styles at the Webbees. So, like, Like, you don't have to wear a gown, right? Like, you don't have to wear a gown and, like, do this whole, like, like, you can dress down or you can dress up. And it won't matter. Like, you'll still fit in at the Webby's. Like, that's the cool thing about it. So, I mean, it's not like the Met where it's like, this year I didn't really have to pick out an outfit for the Webby's because I bought a bunch of stuff for a wedding that I went to in November.

And I didn't return any of the ones I really liked because I was like, oh, something will come up that I'll need this. So I just kept all of that. And then I just used one of the outfits I didn't wear to the wedding. It's so funny because I feel like you show up way more casual than I do. And I sometimes feel like when I see you get dressed, I'm overdressed. No, it's just my style. It's just like the difference of personalities. I have not worn a dress since 2016. And when I think about the way that I felt in that dress and the way that I walked in those shoes, I realized that I should have never been in a dress in the first place. What do you mean walked in the shoes?

It was like a dinosaur, like a T-Rex. Picture a T-Rex. Is it just because you don't know how to walk in heels? Yeah. Or was it like those shoes specifically? No, it was both. Okay. And I learned on Friday that I'm 5-9, not 5-8, and I want to jump off a bridge.

That's so interesting. Did you grow an inch somewhere? I don't know because the craziest thing is that I was always 5'7 and it took a lot for me to accept that I was actually 5'8 when I went to go like renew my license or something. Like it took a lot. I was like, I'm 5.8. I don't know. And then Becky told me on Friday when we were recording, she was like, Kail, you're 5'9. And I said, no, the fuck I'm not.

I said maybe with shoes on. Did you get out of tape measure? Yeah, we did. And you really are? I'm 5'4 and a quarter, but I lie on my life. license and say I'm 5-5. Is that a federal crime? Apparently, I'm a criminal then because I'm 5-9 and I'm not okay with it. Like, I'm very unwell about it. It, like, hurts your feelings. Like, you want to be shorter? Yes. Like, to what degree? Like, how short? I feel so masculine and always have, like, since I was

such a small child with the desire to be a girly girl, but I, that's why I got all these tattoos, because I was like, I'm already masculine. It doesn't matter. Let's just get covered in tattoos. It won't matter. And like, I just don't feel girly. Like, I am too big to be girly. I'm too linebacker to be girly. I'm too, like, I can't be girl. I mean, I know that that's, like, how you personally feel, but it's just untrue. Like, I feel like so many people that are tall and, like, bigger-boned are still girly. Name one. I mean, I don't want to name one. Alessandro, Lissa. You don't have wide shoulders. Yes, that's, so, Alyssa is here and she's saying because I feel like I take up space and that is masculine of me.

So like when we went to L.A. and I was doing the WWE training, I wouldn't let this guy pick me up. He was probably 5-8, 5-7, 5-8. He's a literal WWE wrestler and I would not let him pick me up because I said I probably way more than you. I'm not even going to give you the opportunity, but he lifts guys that are heavier than me. but I felt so like Matt is smaller than me both weight and size. So then I'm like, okay, well, he's not picking me up. So I get in the ring to do what I needed to do because I was, I feel so masculine and manly that like putting me in a dress and heels feels like I don't know how to describe what I'm part of me doesn't feel like that has anything to do with your body type. I don't feel like you would be a dress wear regardless of what your body type was.

I also think that all of my partners being smaller than me plays a role into it because it sounds good. Like in theory, oh yeah, I want to date someone who's no shorter than six feet. But like the people that I have been surrounded by my whole life, no man, no men have been over six feet. So like the gene pool is not great. So I'm with partners who weigh 150 pounds soaking wet. I sometimes feel masculine. Really? Like in my energy.

Yeah. But sometimes I feel like you develop a masculine energy over time. I think mine's been through trauma. Like I'm not naturally masculine, but there were roles that I had to take on through various different relationships that I feel like I have become more masculine and I want to get back to like my softer feminine energy. I can relate to that a lot. I think not just like I would say. I'm going to say since I was on 16 and pregnant. I mean, I've always been the breadwinner. I've always been the one that is the making sure, like the mental load, the financial load, the all of the things. So even

if it's not me physically doing it, I'm paying for it. Yes. And so that also contributes to, like, I always have said that I'm a better father than I am a mother because I'm more of a provider. So when we're talking about like masculine energy, I think that like traditional gender roles are still like really, really ingrained in my in my brain. So even if I'm not physically the one that is cooking or I'm not physically the one that is cleaner, I'm not physically doing X, Y, and Z, I'm paying for it. Like, it's my funds doing it. And that's with or without a partner. So to me, it's like I am more of the traditional provider that men have always done like for decades, right? So I think that contributes to it. And I don't, I don't want to perpetuate that narrative. I don't like to perpetuate it, but I don't know how to

change my mindset when it comes to that. And so I've always like me getting my nails done is the girliest thing that I do. Right. Like I wear merch every day at home. I wear sneakers. I wear like I don't do anything that's like super girl. Like me wearing pink feels wrong. Even at home when I do my makeup, it's like very just regular. But I still feel so girly and I don't wear makeup every day. Like most of the time when people see me, I am no makeup and I'm probably in a sweat. or like a pair of biker shorts and an oversized shirt, but I still feel girly, but I very much have struggled since my marriage because I felt the most feminine in my marriage, because Will did all of the things that I now, if I can't do them, then I have to hire them out, like the lawn work,

like all of the outside work, cleaning out gutters, like that kind of stuff. And I was able to be in a kitchen and I'm, again, not trying to perpetuate it either. but it was where I felt comfortable. And I want to be able to get back to that feminine energy because that's where I feel the most comfortable. But it's very heavy as a mom when you are a single mom and you are a sole provider to either hire all of that stuff out and have it on your plate or you're doing all of that extra stuff as well on top of being a mom and being a nurturer. Yes, all of what you said. I don't even have to add anything to it because that's essentially what I'm saying too. Do you think that there is a reality where we could both provide financially for our families and still feel feminine?

No. I agree with that. And some of that has to do with my raising, I think, growing up in the South, not saying that no one else in the household brought finances to the table to some degree. but my dad was always the sole provider. Like he was always making sure that there was money for groceries, making sure that there was money for school, making sure that there was money for trips. Like if he wasn't out cutting grass, but he was the one hiring that stuff out, he did all of that stuff to make the house be able to function.

And I feel like I'm, and some of it's by choice because I chose to get a divorce, but I feel like I have to do all of that stuff. Yeah. And that's what makes sense. me sad to not have a partner to where I can be in my feminine energy, but also I've picked partners since my marriage that I feel like didn't allow me to be in my feminine. This episode of Coffee Convo's podcast is brought to you by booking.com. I've got to say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is a place to be. Booking.com is one of

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So I don't know a life where because by the time I was even with Elijah, he would have done that stuff. But with the three kids that we had so quickly, there was not a whole lot of time for him to do that stuff. So, I mean, there was some period of time where it was only him, but then I started to hire that out too. And my life just completely changed in every sense from the time that I got divorced because my income was allowed to either be saved or it was used how I wanted it to be used. So if I said, hey, I really want to take us on a trip. You could do that. Then I could do that. And it made me feel so feminine.

It wasn't required for the household to run to run. Yeah. None of it's about the money. It's about the mental load of it. It's about the responsibility behind the money. Like, it's the thought behind it. If someone else took it off my plate and was scheduling the landscaper and scheduling this and scheduling that, I, yes, I'll make the money. I don't care.

But I need someone else to do the planning. Like this, it's never going to be 50-50 because nobody makes money like us. And I know that's out of touch. I realize that. But what I'm saying is because we're making the money and doing the planning and doing the hiring and doing the structuring. It's the money and the decisions. Yes. But if I was to be able to make the money and someone else planned everything, I think I would have over time.

It would not be right away. I think over time with the trust and letting my walls down, it would be okay. But I mean, do not let only one person oversee your finances. Letting one person have full control of their finances is the worst decision you could ever make. I would agree. I think it's the mental burden of making the decisions. Decision fatigue. It is. It absolutely is. And I know, like, yes, I am so blessed to be able to have a landscaper text me and be like, Miss Lindsay, do you need your yard done this week? Yes, but I'm also in the middle of cooking breakfast and trying to get out the door to go to school and do all of that stuff. If I was still married, he would be doing. those conversations or he would be doing the job. Right.

And then it's not even a thought or an afterthought. You just know it's done. Like I just came home and pulled in the driveway and the grass was cut. You know, like the bushes were trimmed. The gutters were cleaned out. The porch was blown off or pressure washed off. Does Will do all that stuff at his own house or does he work so much that he hires? Yes, it makes me jealous.

He does it himself. So that's an expense he doesn't have. Correct. And he cuts his grass twice a week. So that's also an expense he doesn't have. And I wish that I still had that because the way that he keeps a lawn is like meticulous. That's also like I would love to have that where I'm not having to pay for that. You know what I mean?

Like I would love to have some like I don't want to pay for that stuff because I mean my like I said, I live on four and a half acres. So I'm paying. I think the bill I just got was $1,200. And it's like that's somebody's mortgage. That's rent. That's two car payments. Like, that's a lot of money that I could be saving over $12,000 a year if it was just done. But let's get into this conversation because I feel like Will was so anal about long care and like his responsibilities around the house that sometimes I would get pissed off because I'm like, okay, we're just sitting in the house chilling and yeah, like laundry might be going. I might be cooking breakfast and cleaning up a kitchen or whatever. But he's, He's outside and he's not spending any time with us. If I was still married and let's just say in a hypothetical situation that we never divorced, would I have tried to encourage him to hire some of that out like every other weekend?

He enjoys doing it, but like to give us some freedom back to be able to spend time as a family because it was always chores on the weekend. But then it's also dual income. Right. So I'm one person with one income. Yep. I mean, I'm not one, I'm not one income, but like this line of in like this industry is wanting. You know what I'm saying?

So all of these expenses are coming from one person, one income. If you guys decided to hire it out, it wouldn't solely be out of your pocket, right? Right. But to be fair, I mean, nobody told me to have seven children. Yeah, I don't know how you do that at all. It is the biggest mind fuck to me to know that somebody raises. seven to my one. And I'm like, how?

Mental illness. Like, it has to be somewhat of a mental illness, but like, I know a lot of people do it. But even if I didn't have seven kids, I guess I'd still have to pay those bills. Like, I'd still have to hire out. Yeah, like your yard's not going to change. If I'm being honest, I don't, I wouldn't even know how to turn on a loan mower myself. So, like, cool. Could you show, could I show my kids to do it?

could they do it in theory, but like I've never done it. So like even a push mower and a one that you sit on, I would have no idea. I also would have no idea how to do it. But one time I was pulling into Pilates and I had like leaves all over my yard. So I text Will and I was like, hey, whenever I leave Pilates, can I come by and get your blower so like I can borrow it? And he was like, what are you going to do with it? And I said, blow leaves. And he was like, no, you're not. I said, yeah, I'm going to blow leaves. He says, Lindsay, you couldn't crank that thing if you tried. Becky bought me a leaf blower for my wedding gift. I know you said that.

I feel like that's the most lesbian wedding gift ever, but I love it. Honestly, we needed it, though, for that neighborhood. So it was great. And it was a backpack one, so that one was easier. I never was able to. If I saw you with a backpack blower, like if I literally saw you with a backpack blower. I couldn't start it myself. But once it got started.

See, that takes all the fun out of it. Once it got started, I was. would put it on my back and I would blow the leaves. See, and people ask me all the time about, like, links to my pressure washer and, like, my blower and, like, my outside stuff. Y'all, these are either you plug it in and you just, like, press a button and go, or you pull the battery out and charge it and put it back in and then blow. This is also the woman that has seven vacuums, so I don't know that- Shit, I should have shown you my vacuum collection when you were at my house. I want my inspo is your level of clean power wash, pressure wash.

But would you do it? No, I want Ike to do it. Ike's going to do it. So this is the like hiring out that we're talking about. This is like husband chores. Yeah, this is husband chores. And this is also like I don't, we've only spent four days apart in 365 days. So like that will be our time apart is like him to do those chores.

Okay. Do we believe in like honey do list. Honey do list? Yeah, absolutely. But like, where are you writing it down? First of all, I've never written one, but I want to. Like, that's the goal when we move is like, Ike, here's the list of chores, the honeydew list.

And like, what would be on it? It's going to be pressure washing, cutting the ground. I'm not hiring that stuff out when we move. We're going to figure it the fuck out. I don't care if he has to teach me to fucking do it. I'll throw an audiobook on. Well, the boys are going to start farm chores this summer. So that's the other thing.

So they're going to be the ones. Ike is going to show the boys. I will tell you, I will never, never, never, will I ever date another man who does not do manual labor? No, I want to, I mean, hopefully this is the forever. So y'all can work together to teach you and the boys can teach each other how to do the stuff. Because when we move, those are expenses I'm not taking with me. I promise you I'm not. Well, it's so. How much do you think your bills are for like the shit to run a household? Like I'm talking the stuff that you do not have time to do yourself. I'm talking the landscaping,

the pressure washing, the things. I am the pressure washer. So that is free other than my time. And that is also therapy. So like I am double dipping on that situation. Like I am getting therapeutic something out of that that I feel alive. Like you don't understand the level of liveliness that I feel when I am hidden those cobwebs, when I'm getting a stain off. Like it is therapy.

So I feel like that is $0. Okay. Except whatever it's adding up on my water bill, which is probably a lot. Oh, I have a well, so I don't have a water bill. As far as the grass cutting and like, what do they call that? Like, the thing that like goes on the edges. Edging? The edging.

The brer. But like that other thing that they use to like. like get off weeds, you know, like it's got that rope on it, you know? A weed whacker. A weed whacker. Yeah. I feel like between those things, like the clipping, the bushes, the weed whacker, the edger, and the grass cutting, $260 for me last month.

That's it? Yeah. So I feel like it's kind of cheap, but it's still, I don't want to spend it. You know what I mean? Wait a minute. Let me look up my bill because that can't be right. That's right. I literally have a text.

I can show it to you. My April bill for just cutting my grass. This does not include edging, rock beds, nothing. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a journey, and we talk about this on this podcast all the time.

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and my total is $1,200. You only pull weeds one time a month? They should pull them more. Like, why are they only pulling weeds one time a month? They actually are due. That feels like not sufficient. Okay, mine says, hey, Ms. Lindsay, for April long care, It's going to be 280. I said 260, but, you know, whatever. 280. I feel like that's good. I feel like that's cheap for like the quality of work that I'm getting.

Your house looks great. It looks great. Even so much so that my ex-husband commented on my weave was showing all my hair, but my, my grass on my lawn looked great. Can you show the clip of Will singing entering your house? Yeah. So we're going to make a TikTok using the sound. We are.

But y'all, this is crazy. So I think the man forgot that I had cameras, or maybe he just, like, genuinely didn't care. I need to know the song he was singing. Okay, so hold, please. This is called ADHD combos. Okay. So this is what he looked like.

Hold on. Oh, he's on. There's a couple of things wrong with this video. No, we're making a TikTok also singing to his voice. There's just a couple things wrong. Like, number one, we have open door policy, and that is insane to be divorced people. Yes, it is. Like, just walk in.

Like, that lasted for me and hobby for about two years. But just to, like, walk into your ex-wife's house. house and you need to hype yourself up so bad that you're out there saying take it easy and he's whistling and having a grand old time a grand old time we love and we stand will we do even through the bs saying that like my weave was showing was just got like kind of insensitive on mother's day you know like well will is very animated and that's where jackson gets a lot of that from okay like the animation yeah yeah yeah yeah does he also have ADHD severely undiagnosed or diagnosed. Can you imagine me and Will and Jackson in a house like all ADHD? No, ma'am. Me, Lux and Creed are

enough. Like it, I'm surprised that we ever even made it past a first couple dates, let alone married 12 years in with a kid. Damn, y'all were really together for so long. So long. Oh, you know what Jackson said the other day to me? He said, did y'all want me or was I an accident? Both. No, he was not. He was planned, honey. You serious? He was planned so much so that I held my legs up and put a pillow up underneath my ass because I read that that would get you a boy. Like propped up in our 700 square foot apartment. Was it smaller or bigger than the one that we're in right now?

Smaller. It was one bedroom, one bathroom, a tiny little like kitchenette. And I thought that we had truly made it because it was like ours and like nobody else could have a part of it. And we had a new couch from rooms to go. and I thought like we had really done it. And you did. But wait, what was the conversation about like, were you like, let's have a baby? Yeah.

Like, we're married. Like, what are we doing? Like, I'm, well, okay. So I had a girlfriend that had gotten pregnant like a little bit before me. And she had told me these stories about it taking like other people that she knew a while. And she was like, it doesn't always just like necessarily happen off the jump. So we got married in January. and I was four weeks pregnant by Mother's Day.

On that note, foul play. This is called parent parties. My parents had a good friend that used to throw parties for playoffs, boxing matches, etc. These parents could really turn it up and the alcohol would flow. I love these parents already. My mom calls me one morning after one of these parties hysterically laughing to the point she almost couldn't speak. Here's what had her so entertained. One of the guests the night before brought a new boyfriend to the party.

and was really out to impress him with what a great time she could be. My mom said she spent the whole night throwing back drinks and loudly sharing stories of her sexual exploits or telling her boyfriend all the things she wanted to do to him. All of this was open for everyone to hear and was quite frankly obnoxious to other guests. The hostess had been friends with her for years and tried to get her to slow down on the drinks because she was getting sloppy. At the end of the night, the boyfriend was half carrying her out the door. Jump ahead to the next morning and a neighbor knocks on the door. He asks the hostess if she wouldn't mind coming outside to clean up her guest shit from

yesterday. Oh. Her guest shit. If she wouldn't mind coming outside to clean up her guest shit from his driveway. The hostess follows him outside thinking there may be some empty beer cans and his use of the word shit was just euphemism. Euphemism. Euthism. Nope. Neighbor points to a huge pile of human shit sitting in the gutter in front of his house by the driveway. She knew it belonged to her friend because their car was parked there. She took a photo of it and messioned it to her friend to come get her drunk ass over there now and clean it up. Her friend did show up and clean it up and had to apologize to the neighbor. According to the boyfriend, they were leaving that night. She pulled up her dress and squatted and shit before he could even react. She used her panties to

wipe, then threw them in a bush nearby, got in his car and wanted to give him a BJ on the way home. He was so turned off that he broke up with her that day. My mom happened to be there for the whole show because she doesn't drink and drive and stayed over. The friend never came to another party. This is the shit story on the bench of Bone the night I got pregnant with Rio. But was there drinking involved in this or did she just... Bone? Yeah. She thought she was sitting on the toilet when she shit on my mudroom bench. Well, I told you about that story about the sorority saga when I went to Miami for spring break

and the girl that we were sharing a room with went and sat in my best friend's suitcase, thinking it was a toilet and pissed all over her stuff. We had to find a laundromat to go and clean all of her stuff up because she pissed all over it. But I am going to tell on myself, yesterday when I got to the airport, like, I started freaking out because I'm like, I literally cannot miss this flight. And I've gotten too, too very comfortable cutting them too close or just missing them altogether. So I'm like, I cannot stop. And I have to pee so bad. first thing I did was put my car and park.

It peed on the side of the road? No, I... Worse. You peed your pants. I opened the door to my driver's side and to my passenger side and I sat like on the little ledge, like not inside the car. Like the runner. Yeah. And I just peed and I'm like if anybody sees me and it was like trickling like all the way down through the parking garage.

And I'm like if anybody sees me and probably something's wrong with me because the only thing I had to wipe with with a was a chlorox wipe. Did it burn? It burned, but like I just did it anyway. I hate to say this, but I pee in public more often than I should be admitting. It's like a biohazard. No, no, no, because I pee on the side of the road. I would say every other day.

But like, why are we doing that to ourselves? There's no exit. I live in the middle of nowhere. So where Lincoln had to play soccer, where we live, I missed every opportunity there was to go to the bathroom. I literally, I think Ike pulls over. every other day for me to pee on the side of the road. And in his Jeep, the like step thing, the runner comes out when you open the door. That's a perfect place to do that. So then I sit on that, like it's a toilet and then I pee. And I mean, that happened so often that it's,

it can't be normal. But like, I also don't think that people drive as much as I do. I'm not just driving around Delaware. Like, I'm driving from state to state every fucking day. Obviously, that's an exaggeration. But, like, you understand what I'm saying. Or when you used to tell me, like I'm ripping and run in Delaware. Yeah, like that's crazy. I really don't drive that often. Like I go to like five places in my whole life. But to go to the airport, it's over an hour from my house.

I should have thought ahead and and peed before I left my house. I also thought about pulling over in traffic because I'm like, I'm really not going anywhere anyway. Like it's like a two-fer, you know, like I'm going to get to pee and I'm going nowhere. The chloralk pipe is crazy. Well, that's all I had. And if you think that I'm just like, not like dabbing myself dry and I'm just going to snail trail through the airport. I'm not. I know plenty of people who would. But like if someone shit at my house and left a human turd

at my house because of a party, I'm posting it like on the local Facebook groups and tagging you. No doubt. And I'm tagging you because you're about, you just embarrassed me in front of my neighbor. Now I have to show you what you've done. But the thoughts of cleaning up human shit, like I got tired of doing it around like two years old when Jackson was younger. I'm not, I am not cleaning up an adult human turd. I mean, first of all, the smells of an adult turd, no. I'm really going to gag like thinking about smelling somebody's shit. Madison and Alessandra said we're going to eat soon. So we're done here. We're going to go to the webbies also. If you guys have not subscribed, to the show. You can do that from any podcast app

wherever you get your pods. Always first at Podcast 1. And if you have not purchased your tour tickets, Kail Lowry.com, you can go over there now to get any tour tickets that are not sold out. And we will talk to you guys soon. See ya. Hey guys, we're back. You asked for it and we're delivering. Killer

is going on tour. We're super excited for the fatherless behavior tour. 23 cities, three countries, all in one summer. And you guys can check out tour dates and see if we're coming to a city near you on kale lowry.com. And if you want early access to information and announcements, head over to Patreon because you might get it before everyone else. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto TV.

Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free. The truth is ours. It's just so beautiful. On Pluto TV, free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100 NX files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. Hey, quick question. Why do you keep thinking you can change that man?

I mean, you are not his mother. Let someone else change that poopie diaper and focus on yourself. Hi, everyone. I'm Vila Benson, your Russian vix sister and an almost adulting Vila Benson. I give you that tough love, dating advice, some reality checks that you didn't ask for. for, but you absolutely need. We talk relationships, confidence, mental health, boundaries, and how to finally stop settling for crumbs. You deserve better, babe, and it starts with me. So new episodes every Thursday, come hang out with me, follow rate and review, almost

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