Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Truancy Policies, Power in the Pause & the Pressure to "Fit in"

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

CC434: Middle school mayhem, a serial butt sniffer, and a surprising new take on public vows! Lindsie and Kristen return to the topic of social media's impact on kids, emotional regulation in relationships after a listener writes in, and navigating complex co-parenting dynamics. Lastly, a very college-coded Foul Play!Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first month.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!RoBody: Find out if you’re covered for free at Ro.Co/COFFEECONVOS. Rx only.Thrive Causemetics: Save 20% off your first order at Thrivecausemetics.com/COFFEEWayfair: Visit Wayfair.com or get the Wayfair mobile app.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kail Lowry and Lindsay Crisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kail. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kail and Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Convo's podcast. Good morning. Kitty Kristen. Good morning. How are we? We're good. You're back again. I am back again. But good news. Kitty kale will definitely be back very, very soon. I can't believe that it is September. It's insane. I will say I'm a little sad because I have a pool this year. So I'm like really seeing the weather change and I'm like, when am I going to have to

close this thing? But I am very excited for fall. Fall. winter are my seasons. Okay, so fall is absolutely my season. And I was talking to somebody over the past couple of days. And he was like, why do you keep talking about fall? Like, you're buying these grandma sweaters. It's like the fall candles smelling like cinnamon up in this bitch. You know, the fire pit was used for the first time last night on my porch. And then when I went to Pilates, all the old ladies that watch the weather in the mornings say that Georgia is going to get an early fall. And I am not disappointed. You know what? I feel like Georgia has been, at least your area, has been going through it weather-wise. I don't think there's been a single

time that I've talked to you that it has not rained at least two times in a week. I don't know what it is, but I feel like we've gotten more rain here this calendar, year than ever before. It's insane. Like, and the amount of just like damage from winds and heavy rains and things like that that you've told me about is crazy. It's so crazy. I was sitting here going through my papers from when I got divorced because I had to send Jackson's parenting plan to the school. I think it's so crazy. We have never been asked about our parenting plan and all the years that he's been in school and then he enters sixth grade. And they're like, wait, can we have your parenting plan? That's, it's crazy when you think about it, right? Like how every time they go back

to school, I feel like there's something different from the year prior. But the fact that you haven't had to submit that, given what's like in your parenting plan, blows my mind. I mean, he's been in school for six years and we have never submitted it ever, ever, which is crazy. And like, to them, be asked for it, I would be like, why do you, what are you looking for? I'm like, is this just to be nosy? Because I just found out that in my county, they seal parenting plans and like child support and all that kind of stuff. So the general, the general public cannot get it. And I'm not sure if that's like the case everywhere, but someone told me that they do it because it is relevant to a minor child. I mean, that's fantastic. I think everywhere should do it if they don't.

And then I was like, that's why and makes so much sense why people can't get my parenting plan because people have sent me messages like for years saying, oh, we tried to access your parenting plan, but can't get it. Does that ever sketch you out? You're like, why are you trying to look that up? No, I think the reason people try to look it up is because Kiel talks about my parenting plan all the time. Yeah. And she's like, it's so detailed, which it truly is. I was telling somebody about a section of my parenting plan earlier today. And she was like, wow, that's that's very, very detailed. And I'm like, yeah, because this is my minor child that we have to co-raise until he's 18 years old. So if you think I'm going to have anything in there

that is up for somebody else's interpretation that I know is not going to be the way that I interpret it? Absolutely not. You know what? I have an idea, like a new little new business venture. I feel like you could offer custom made parenting plans. I feel like that's illegal. Is it for real? Wouldn't that be like acting in the capacity of an attorney? No, it's like you're giving it as a template. And you could literally say like, I don't know. We'd have to look into it. But I just feel like, you could be like, I'm writing this up to get to an attorney to, like, validate it. Oh, it's validated. You know, I don't know.

I feel like it could be, it could be good for you. Oh, my gosh. So, you know, Will and I like never really go off the parenting plan that much anymore. Yes. But in moments where I feel like we need to use it because we can't come to an agreement for something, I have it in my Google drive on my phone. And he claims that I walk around with a pocket. parenting plan. And I'm like, no, it's called a Google Drive where you load important documents

and then it's accessible from your phone. Yeah, from your phone, the computer. I am a big Google girly. And I know that there is a plethora of individuals who are like team Microsoft. No. No. Wait, what even is Microsoft? I haven't known about that since college. It's like a whole different organizational system. They have like one drive, which is kind of like their variation of like the organizational system that Google has. I believe, don't quote me here, but I'm pretty sure that they say, like, like a lot of businesses tend to use Microsoft where I am, I force everyone to use Google. Wait, is Microsoft the thing that has Outlook? Okay. Yeah, I will not be an Outlook girly. Yeah. So everybody that I work with uses Google. I love that. I need to tell you

something that Kiel sent me. I'm scared. But I had already seen it. Okay. It says, and this is on pro breaking news on Instagram. Okay. The headline is serial butt sniffer. What?

Arrested for the third time. Oh. And I'm like, okay, I'm looking at this guy and he looks somewhat normal. He has like a little tear drop, like, looking tat, to. Okay. And then there are pictures if you scroll over and it says in a comment, you should give the footage to both Barnes and Nobles and the police so they look out for this guy. I'm glad you're okay. So evidently this girl posted two different photos and it's in the book section. Well, I guess the entire Barnes & Noble would be a book section.

And he's like crouched down, almost looks like it's on a section that might have like board games or something. Okay. And you see her and then you see him behind where he's like very close to her ass. And then it's a more zoomed in situation where he's sniffing like the back of her butt area. Okay. Now I'm, now I'm understanding. So this is the serial butt snubber. Yeah. So it says that he has a 38 year old registered offender was arrested back on August 20th in Burbank for targeting women in public. It marks his second arrest in just two months.

Oh. I love that. It's something. I'm like, are we watching? law and order? So funny. Um, okay. Oh shit. Wait. So it has like more information. It says record show that he was already on parole and facing earlier charges from July involving inappropriate behavior at a Nordstrom rack. Like why the fuck are you up in Nordstrom rack sniff and ass? No, but literally, but like why would you go to Barnes & Noble? I don't know. And it says he has a troubling history with similar incident, dating back to 2021, authorities booked him and he is being held without bail. It does say that Burbank later dropped the case.

But like you've been sniffing ass like in public since 2021. Like why are you still roaming? It's not funny. It's it's so violating, I'm sure. But I'm just thinking about this. And I'm like, okay. So he was held without bail. Yeah.

But there's people who like. murder people who are held and they can have bail. Yeah, I know. So I'm just like, what the fuck is going on in the world? But could you just imagine like, let's say we were just like strolling around Barnes and Noble and just saw some random man crouch down with his nose in your ass? Absolutely. I would, I would be the one.

The way I would go to jail because I would fuck him up. Yeah, like we would be getting into a physical altercation in whatever section of Barnes & Noble that he was done. And I'm a freaking rewards member there, okay? Not a rewards member. Oh my gosh. I have to tell you, speaking of books, I, Speedy Gonzalez reader, finished.

It starts with us. Kristen, the way I bawled my eyes out. Do I have to read it? The way that it put an emotional toll on my mental state. Oh, shit. The way reading his vows to her at the end of the book. Are you spoiling this for me right now? Yes, it was a little bit of a spoiler.

But like, if anyone ever, like, wrote vows like that to me and they were read at my wedding, I would not be okay for the foreseeable future. Oh, my God. Now, okay. Now I want to read it. And you know, I'm not like a sappy, like, no, you're not. Lovey, Dovey, girly. Like, I'm just, I'm not. And you know what's so interesting? That book changed my entire perspective on public vows. Oh, tell me more. Like, change my entire perspective. Because I have always thought and and I think some of it has to do with me just being like more shy I've always thought that like vows should be an intimate situation between a husband and wife okay and like

you read those to each other but it's just kind of more of the standard whatever in front of everybody and now I I just I disagree with my whole self So now you are open, more open to public boughs. Yes. And I think it's so important for people to like, no. Because can you imagine like, let's just say I have a wedding and someone stands up and they're like, no, we don't agree with this marriage. You know, it's like if you're up there professing your love to one another and boughs

that were of the caliber of what was in that book. there would be no what do they call that like contesting no not contesting objecting objecting objecting there would be no way that anyone would would be like yeah this this marriage needs to be objected coffee convo's podcast is sponsored by better health i genuinely have a question for all of you who do you go to in order to solve your life's problems so is it your group chat do you happen to overshare with strangers, your hairstylist, anybody like that. Because for me, I absolutely turn to my best friends and my therapist because there is a massive difference between the two. Therapists are clinically trained and licensed. So that's a huge difference between that and your

group chat. I truly do not know where I'd be without my therapist. I started my therapy journey over two years ago and I have gotten through a multitude of things with the help of my therapist and the techniques that I've learned in therapy, and I'm so, so grateful that I started. If you have been considering therapy, I definitely recommend checking out BetterHelp. BetterHelp has been helping people find their match for over 10 years and have a 4.9 rating out of 1.7 million client session reviews, which is amazing. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the

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As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp. our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash coffee. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com slash coffee. Well, did you know that you can actually have that taken out so that no one can object? Wait, pardon? Yeah, I had it taken out of mine. Wait, why you thought someone was going to?

Well, there were a lot of, really, there weren't a lot of. There was a situation that was going on, not with Corey and I. Um, and it definitely crossed Corey's mind and it, it definitely then crossed my mind after he came to me about it. And I said, all right. So we're just going to have a little talk with our minister. And we said what was going on. And we said, is there any way that this can be removed? Um, and she was like, yeah, there's only like very few things that you legally have to do, like at a situation like that have to be said. Um, and she was like, like, and she was like, like, like, um, and she was like, like, like, um, and she was like, um, at a wedding and we literally only did what legally had to be done. I think my ceremony was literally 10 minutes, maybe, like from I'm talking the processionals in and out. We also had a scenario where everybody was pre-warned at my rehearsal that if anybody showed up drunk and was being disruptive at the ceremony, she was going to take Corey and I to the side. We were going to do what we had to do to legally get married, and then that would be the end of it.

I have heard horror stories of like a bride or a groom showing up at the wedding blackout. Yep. I can imagine. And I'm like, you know, you had one fucking job on this day. And now if we were getting married under those circumstances, I feel like that person would be able to claim like insanity or, something. Like, we're going to get an annulment because I was blackout. Yeah. I mean, when you go to get your marriage license, I don't know if you remember this or if they did it then, but like when Corey and I went to go pick ours up or like do whatever we had to do for ours, they said,

they ask you. Like, are you doing this under duress? Are you under the influence of any drugs or alcohol? All the things. And Corey was like, you know Corey. So he's joking around. He's like, yeah, I took so many drugs this morning. They're just looking at him. And I said, this is the only day that's reserved to come get this. So if you fuck this up. Yeah, the way that I will be rioting. Okay, but you said yours was like 10 minutes.

I can tell you right now, if I got married again, my vows would be 10 minutes long. You know, but like I love that. I'm like, everybody needs to know the level that I love you. I definitely feel like, I don't know, like, obviously we set ours publicly in a really small wedding, but we set ours publicly. I think I can definitely understand why people would want to do them privately. I mean, I get it, but I think you guys just have to read the book because I think that you would have a completely different perspective on it if you are like wanting to like kind to shy away and just do it privately. I do think that there is so much peace and certainty and

everybody knowing what you're reading. I love that. I think also I need to know if you made a good reads account yet. I did not make a good reads account. I've been quite busy. Will is in his what he calls busy season. And by busy season, that means that he tax on days to his work trip. do golf trips. So I've been riding solo dolo with Jackson and there's just been so many assignments. I need the moms that have kids that are in middle school or past middle school to send me good wishes and let me know that I am going to get through it because if I get one more notification, like it's not normal and maybe it is normal for middle school, but it's,

It is completely different than elementary school. They went from switching blocks, like morning block to afternoon block in fifth grade, to they switched classes six times. I got a notification from the school last week that my son was absent for fifth period, and his fifth period class is PE. There's no way he's missing that. And I'm like, oh, all hell's about to. break loose up in this house because if you think for one second that you're going to start

cutting class in sixth grade and you chose PE to cut were you a class cutter no lord I wasn't either I would have been terrified to cut class you know I really held it together until I had um student teaching where we would physically leave the building and I decided to student teach at my old elementary school, which was directly behind my house. And I would definitely, I started cutting class at that point. So I would like leave midday. And then I was student teaching for teachers that I had. And I'd be like, yeah, I'm not coming today. No. See, it's giving co-burger. I mean, I just went home to like read and do dumb shit. I was over the day. You know, it's considering a half mental health day. So Jackson gets off the bus.

after I get this notification of his absence. And I'm like, first of all, where would he even go? Like, what was he doing that he wasn't at P.E.? Well, like, that's a great question. And also, the only thing that I could think of that no one would find him is if he was holed up in a bathroom. Well, I'm like, was someone giving him a swirly? Like, what was going on?

So wait until he gets off the bus. Will's in the front yard with a golf club. and I'm like, this just looks very dangerous and I don't want to be part of this. And I'm like, why were you absent for fifth period? And he was like for P.E., I said, yeah, why were you absent? He was like, I wasn't absent. I was playing wiffle ball, mom.

And I'm like, okay, well, evidently you were absent for the role. Yeah, so where were you doing roll call? He was like, well, we had a sub and, he was like Jackson when he got to me and I said yeah it's me and he said no it's not you and then he said Jackson again and I said yes three times and so I don't know what he marked me absent and I said so did you go to Holmec after PE because you weren't absent in that class he was like yeah we make cake pops and I was like oh okay so you could go to that class but you couldn't be present for the role for P.E.

Keep on, keeping on. Did you figure out, like, what the heck transpired? Yeah, he had a sub, and apparently the role got all messed up. And so I had to go into the office to turn the freaking parenting plan. And the registrar also does, like, the attendance and stuff. And I said, and by the way, my son wasn't absent for fifth period PE yesterday. They were probably like, oh, good, good to know. Like, can you also fix that in the attendance book?

Because if I get one more notification from the school about truancy, not specifically, like, for me, but just like the policy of the county now on truancy issues. Yeah. So speaking of truancy, I saw this on, it's called the misfit mama. And it says, schools be like, please don't send your child if they're sick. also schools here's a warning because your child has missed too many days we were talking about that not that long ago about like the doctor's notes now not being accepted and i'm just trying to figure out how that's going to work with truancy you know i i don't really know but what okay so for middle school here they start at nine a m and jackson does not get off the bus until like 445 or 450

If your child's going to have a doctor's appointment, it's going to need to be between those hours. So what are you supposed to do? Does not worry about their general well-being and not do like regular doctor's appointments and dentist cleanings and orthodontist and whatever else shit that you've got to do? I just, I don't understand. I guess I just don't really understand. and the truancy policy I do to some degree, right? But it's like, think about it like when you're in college, right? Attendance was part of your grade, at least in majority of my classes. Attendance was part of your grade. But you're paying them, right? So like, I don't know how

your school works. I pay school tax where I live. I don't have school. Yeah, we all do. But like, I pay school tax. Some places don't have school tax. It's like, I think, funded through part of their property tax or something like that. Minor two, individual tax. taxes that I have to pay. I pay a lot of money there. If you're going to sit there and you're going to tell me what the fuck I'm going to do with my kid, that seems a little ass backwards. It is ass backwards and it pisses me off. And every single time, this same time of year, always go through this pattern of psychosis of I'm going to become a homeschool mom. It's like they can't be absent from home. I just, I don't. I don't.

understand it but if you think that my kid's going to miss like a routine checkup or a dental cleaning or whatever so that he can sit in PE like we're just not we're not doing that and also I could not be the only parent that feels like this if I walk into that office and know that my child has an orthodontist appointment and I write the reason for the checkout as doctor or whatever that should be sufficient I do understand there are like certain issues like truancy stuff that should be looked into for sure. But when we're talking like maybe a couple of times a year and then just fuck a vacation because if your kid goes to the doctor like four different times for four different reasons, now you've eat up all your days to not be able to go on vacation. It just, I don't know.

It doesn't, I have, I feel like schools are basically, there's just a lot of things that, like, feelings that I have about them, but I'm thinking like almost, I don't want to say upgraded daycare because that's not what I mean. But obviously, it's like a place for your child to go while the parents are working. But even then, it doesn't like always align with typical work hours. And they're teaching your kids to testing. They're not teaching your kids to teach your kids to things that will be helpful to them. as a don't even get me started on this because i don't want jackson hearing this because he thinks that what he wants to do for a job when he gets older he will not need science for and so he's like i'm just confused why i have to take science because i don't need to know how many milliliters are in whatever and so you know it's just those hard conversations that you have to have with your kids will and I both were like, well, if you're ever going to cook, you need to know how to measure. So that's like a life skill. And he was like, yeah, but I learned that in math. I'm like, okay, I understand that you don't like doing projects. Like, I get it, but you're doing

them. You know, he has a point. I'm just going to say that. I'm right. I understand, but also if you're going to attend public school, then they have to meet certain requirements. And so that means that you have to meet certain requirements. And I'm not having a conversation on why we don't need science. I'm well aware that there's a lot of things in life that we don't need. However, these are the classes that are required for you to go through sixth grade. So if you don't like doing projects, learn to like them because you're going to do them. Yep. I mean, that's also valid. Like, we all have to do shit we don't like. That's what the lesson is right there. Doing shit we don't like. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally

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oh let me tell you this so does anybody else have kids that make fucking messes everywhere and then they come let's say they come downstairs into the kitchen and they're like why is all of this stuff on the counter and you look around on the counter and it's all your kid's shit and it's like well there wouldn't be all this stuff on the counter if you didn't have three baseball hats where you've changed them out three times over the weekend, markers where you had to do a makeup assignment that you didn't turn in. I don't know, drawing since you've now become an artist, you know, those are laid out everywhere with colored pencils, math books that we don't use. Like, and you're talking about me?

there's a TikTok trend that's like who closed last night and they come down and their house looks like a bomb went off. Oh yeah. That was called this weekend for me because the way that I was taken out on Saturday, I felt so sick, could not get up. And all of a sudden I hear the microwave just beep, beep, beep. I'm like, okay, I know that could not be the smoke detector because it's not even up. So definitely wasn't that. We're really back to that. Yeah, we are because there's got to be something internally like hardwired wrong. There is no way that one human being goes through that many batteries in a smoke, like there's no way. And there's no way that I bought like defective battery packs that many times. How you ever, like, did you ever, like, did

Did you ever do the thing you were going to do, which was change them all at the same time? No. Okay. Well. I mean, I know I said that that was a good idea. And in theory, it's great. But I haven't done it. But back to the microwave.

So I come downstairs and I'm like, what's going on? And I look in the sink and there's a knife. There's a fork. There's a plastic plate. And it looks like melted cheese everywhere. Oh, boy. Jackson decided since I was so sick that because he's not allowed to use the oven that he was going to get a frozen pizza, a tootinos, out of the refrigerator or the freezer and put it in the microwave for 10 minutes. Okay. Okay.

Not a single stop in between the 10. I think that that might have been what I was hearing. Okay. The beeping. But yeah, it went for 10 minutes and he also ate it. Okay. Yeah. So that's that's what we were working with over the weekend. Okay. So a listener wrote in and I want to be able to make sure that we get to this one. It says, I need some tough love and honest feedback. I'm a very sensitive, emotional person. And when there's a problem, I want to solve it right away. Oh, this is like very relatable. I absolutely hate the feeling that someone is upset with me. Me and my boyfriend had a pretty big disagreement and I caught myself typing a long message about my feelings and whatnot. How do you guys get through conflict without speaking your peace right then and there. It literally feels like there is a weight on my chest and my heart is in my throat until I finally tell the person what I'm thinking

or how I'm feeling. I want to be able to process what I'm feeling without your validation or acknowledging my feelings. I want to be able to wait for the right time without feeling absolutely sick and stress out while I wait. Thank you for your help, Kitty gang. I'm always going to go back to the power and the pause, but it, it takes a lot of work to be able to get there and you just have to start somewhere. I used to be this way. I used to be the one that had to like fix everything right away or attempt to fix everything. And then within the last couple of years, I've hit the person that's like, I have not hit anybody. First of all, that sounded really bad. I have hit no one. I have become the person who is the polar opposite where I actually

never want to talk about anything at all. And, you know, that's also not great. But it does allow for room to pause. And when I do eventually talk about it, I can do so in a way most of the time without blowing a gasket, which is good. I found myself being this person for a long, people actually most of my life and until my therapist told me about the power and the pause I had never really thought about like emotional regulation like that I feel like this person that I used to be um it comes across like very impulsive okay I could see that right and then I think you get to a place that you pause for so long once you learn to do it that you slightly, like, start seeping into being an avoidant.

So you've got to find, like, that equal balance of not avoiding for too long, but also not addressing right away. Like, if you are not in an emotional state to be able to address something calmly and effectively, then it should not be addressed. I would agree. I'm trying to think back to, like, when I definitely was doing this. method of communication, and nothing good came out of it. Nothing ever good comes out of it. And here's why, because you don't have restraint on

your own emotions. So if you don't have restraint on your own emotions, anything that someone says to you, you're going to be naturally emotionally triggered because you're already in a triggered state. Agreed. I agree. I am no longer typing long-ass messages. I am no longer feeling the need to address something right away. And I also learned this from my therapist. If everything is an emergency, nothing is. That is so true. And that goes to like people's prioritization of things. And I'm talking whether that be at work, in life, in general. Everything cannot be a priority because nothing is. Ever. You can't. You can't. not, that is just not the way that life works. So you have to pick things that you want to focus on

while keeping other things stable. I agree. I also found this handy dandy app in my phone called the notes app. And if I want to address something, but I'm in an emotional state, I will go and create a new note in there and kind of like type out my feelings or things that I want address like in that moment and until I get to a state of emotional regulation I will just keep revisiting that or adding to it or taking away from it until it's no longer like emotionally charged which I think that's a really good way to go about it I used to do some of those things especially I found myself doing it when Corey worked night shift because we were literally passing ships so he would get home and I would be asleep. I'd wake up. I'd work all day. And then I would still be

working when he left for work. So there was really no time for us to really have any types of conversations and stuff. And I would, things would fester and things would build. And I would be hauling off text messages at him while he was at work. And that's not okay. Because I wouldn't want that done to me while I'm at work. I can't properly focus on my job and I can't give that the attention it needs. So I started using my notes out and just being like, you know, basically writing out a meeting agenda for the next time we'd be able to talk. No, I think it's so wise. I do personally feel for this person because I have so been here. And I do think that it is a place that I have been more times than not in either a co-parenting situation or in like a romantic

relationship situation that I find myself the most dis-regulated in those two areas of my life. Definitely. I would agree. I do feel for this individual. The next person says, I've been a stepmom since 2020. I married my husband one and a half years ago, but we've been separated all year. Oh, no. I have a five-week-old with my husband and he has a girlfriend.

I moved out of our home earlier this year and the girlfriend moved in. You would think having being a stepmom, I transition okay with my daughter having a bonus parent, but I'm struggling bad. I can't stand knowing that the other woman is caring for my baby when she's in his home. Please, any helpful tips. Okay, hold on. Let's unpack this. This is a word problem. This is what this is.

This is a word problem. Okay? I didn't do great at these. Married her husband 1.5 years ago, but we've been separated all years. So it's August. So that's eight months. So they were separated almost longer than they were married? That's what I'm gathering.

Okay. And then five week old with my husband. He has a girlfriend. Moved out. Okay. I think that that in and of itself, just like the timeline, must be so hard to even wrap your mind around for this individual. Yeah. Yeah, like a five-week-old, a five-week-old with the husband.

It looks, it's, if I'm doing my math correctly, they got, it sounds like they got pregnant maybe like two months before they separated. Yeah. That would make sense. So I couldn't imagine that in and of itself. Also, I don't know about like other places, but I do know of lots of friends who have been through divorces or separations or whatever um with very young children and five weeks old I don't know like I would not feel comfortable with if I had a five week old and this was my

situation I wouldn't feel comfortable with that baby going to its dad's house with a girlfriend without me there I would agree I'm like thinking about five weeks old like you were so reliant on the mom, right? I just, I don't think that I could do it. So that's, I give props for this person being able to do that. Also, I'd like, this is not to cause any issues. I just am thinking out loud, don't you technically, when you're separated, if there's no custody agreement in place, don't you actually not have to do any visitation? In this specific situation, if they really like wanted to get into it she could have left and left the birth certificate requested paternity like drug it all out got a custody order i don't believe that a judge would have made her

give her five week old baby up to the dad in this situation i know this would have just never worked for me if this was my situation because i was breastfeeding and i was not pumping and i'm just thinking about five weeks old, you are in the thick of postpartum. You're in the thick of no sleep. Your emotions are probably all over the place. Physically, you're still healing. You're still recovering from birth, regardless of what kind of birth that you had. I just think that any emotions that this person is feeling are probably so valid and so normal, given the state that she's in. And it would just be really hard regardless. of how long they've been separated and I know anybody can move on at any time. There is no

time frame on when you can move on. I just think that it would be so complex knowing that you have an infant and someone else in your life. It makes me question the girlfriend. And I know that that's not right to question that person, but it's like they're going through big life changes. Definitely. And I think maybe a solution, a temporary solution for now is maybe the dad comes to visit wherever the mom lives with the daughter for quite a bit of period of time. I just feel like it's so unnatural to be separated from your parent, like especially your mom. If you are anything like me and you want to take the simplicity of your summer makeup routine into fall with you, Thrive Cosmetics is your go-to. This is for simple, clean and radiant summer looks, minimal effort, and maximum impact.

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slash coffee for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's ThriveC-A-U-S-E-M-T-I-C-S.com slash coffee. So I'm assuming that this husband, because she's She said she's been a stepmom since 2020. So I'm assuming this husband has a child with a previous... That's, I'm assuming, as well. Partner. So I would also assume, but probably not safely assuming,

that he would have knowledge of how to care for a child. I don't know. Like, the baby being five weeks old, like, I'm hung up on the five weeks old. It's just so young. Like, that is just so incredibly young. My baby wouldn't be going a damn place at five weeks old. weeks old. I don't even think, like, I'm just trying to think of situations that I've known about and been a part of with really small, small babies like that. And I don't even think like visitation. I think it's,

I think it's very reduced visitation at that point if it's court ordered. Like, I'm talking like, I think it's like an hour or like maybe two hours. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming that just based off this person writing in that they haven't gone to court. Yeah. totally no legal route. Yeah. I feel so bad. Anybody who's listening to this that has any better advice than what we do because I feel like my advice is just not valid because I can confidently say if that was my

situation, my five-week-old would not be going anywhere. Yeah. I mean, helpful tips, like I said, the only thing I can really think of is to have the dad come to you. And if you're comfortable with having the girlfriend come to you too, like maybe the girlfriend can sometimes come. Um, that truly is like up to you. I think you're in a vulnerable, at a vulnerable point. Um, and I think just surviving for survival for you and your child is supposed to be a priority. Vulnerable, but also I would imagine some phase of grief as well.

Like I'm just trying to put myself in this person choose. And if I have, had just gone through a pregnancy and given birth and you're in the thick of postpartum and the fear as a mom of your baby going anywhere and you not being able to be with them and then to know that immediately at the point that that child was born that another woman was in that child's life like the grief it has to be so I cannot imagine like I can't even I don't even have a child so like trying to put myself in those shoes is wrong. but also thinking about the extenuating circumstances there. I'm like one person can only really like deal with so much.

For sure. We do have a follow up on the conversation about, you know, keeping up with the Joneses and buying our kids expensive stuff because other kids have it. There was a parents.com article that says two out of three parents say that they take on debt just so that their kid can fit in. school. So it says back to school season is full of excitement over new classmates and a busy routine. But along with all of that buzz comes the fears of fitting in. In today's era where in today's era where social media continues to define what cool means kids are more aware than ever

about how they look and how others perceive them. Kids today feel pressure to own name brand water bottles that cost four times more than regular ones, backpacks with the right logo and leggings that run well over $100 a pair. While expensive trends have always existed, many parents are feeling the pressure to spend more than ever. In a new survey from bad credit, they found that 66% of parents would go into debt to help their child feel like they fit in at school. Another 57% admit that overspending to avoid disappointing their kids. Wow. Yeah, it says the price of fitting in, it's easy to see why two-thirds of parents say that they feel pressure to spend so that their child has a sense of belonging at school. Just months ago, a nine-year-old went viral after she came

home crying because her classmate made fun of her fake Stanley. Her mom shared this story on TikTok where commenters scrambled to send her the real version. Other parents from Ohio to Texas have gone viral for sharing stories of their children being singled out for not having the trendy cup. A few weeks ago, another mom shared that her child was being bullied for clothes on the first day of school. And in her video, she says, some people can't afford brand new clothes for school or brand new shoes or anything brand new. While none of this might seem new, the pressure to fit in has been around for decades. Social media amplifies these emotions. Kids are posting videos of their own back-to-school supplies or screenshots of items that they wish that they had had that they wish they had

and asking other kids whether they'd be bullied for them. I feel like, and we all, we, We truly regularly say that there is so much good to come from social media, but there is so much bad, too. Like, as a mom, I love following other mom accounts. And I feel like it creates like a place of community and like-mindedness. sometimes I even follow accounts to just get a different perspective of something that might be different from mine. But kids on social media today and the pressures that social media puts on these kids, it's like they can't be kids anymore. It's just like you have to think about how consumerism has affected an overconsumption has affected adults, right? And then the fact that that's passing down onto kids and then kids are on social media.

and more now seeing videos that other kids are making and just being exposed to even adults, right? Like looking at what people are buying their children. You have so many different things that they're exposed to than when we were growing up that I feel like it perpetuates the cycle of like the need to have or the have to have to fit in. And it's so fucking sad because it shouldn't be about that. It should not be about that. And it's so crazy because just last week Will had taken Jackson to go golf and it was just them and Will had purchased these like he calls him fuck around shoes but like just around the house shoes to play within the yard so like his regular school shoes and stuff aren't getting muddy and we have to

wash them all the time and whatever and I think he found these shoes at either like Costco or Sam's. I mean, they look like a mashup of like AirMax and Adidas shoes, but they're not name brand. And Jackson was like, if someone sees me in these shoes, they're going to make fun of me. Oh. And that is just a small example of how these kids are being made to think. And so I had to have a very frank conversation with him. I was like, number one, these shoes are brand new. Number two, If anyone makes fun of you because you're wearing these shoes, then the issue is them, not you. And I just, I would imagine that it is probably so much worse for girls than it is boys because the boys have just that typical uniform. It's a pair of athletic shorts.

It's a pair of damn Nike socks. It's either crocs or some type of tennis shoe and a freaking t-shirt. Mm-hmm. Girls, the outfits that I see coming out of the cars and the drop-off line for school. Yeah. It's like they took a long time to get ready to fix their hair, to do their makeup. And I started noticing a huge difference in our youth when it became very popular for these young girls, like eight and nine years old, doing Ulta and Sephora halls. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's like not that I think that they shouldn't have it. And I do think that there's something so good about the younger generations becoming more aware of like skin care and stuff like that. I think there is something so good in that. But at the same time, it's almost like it's putting a pressure on them that if they're friends doing it and they aren't, then they just don't fit in. And that sucks because like, and they don't know it at that age, right? We didn't know it at our age. Like, you have the rest of your life to sit here and do makeup and do all these things. But I think it's also putting pressure added pressure on parents. And I don't want to say parents who fall for it. But I would be so curious in that study that they did. How many of those parents who said they would go into debt so that their kids didn't get bullied? How many of them were bullied? You know, that's a really, that's a good question, truly. I remember, the only time I ever remember being made fun of for something was my parents had bought me a Gap sweatshirt. It was when I was in fifth grade. And I got it for Christmas, went to school, and some douchebag on the bus said something to me about what Gap stood for. It was not nice. I'm sure.

And you guys can look up what. people say Gap stood for. And I was like, oh, my God, I love this sweatshirt. And now, like, people are making fun of me, so I don't want to wear it. Yes. It's like you're ashamed. Yes. But, like, there was no reason to be ashamed for it.

And I look back on it. And I'm just like, why did I give one flying iota? What? I don't even know what the kid's name was. Mm-hmm. So, like, why did I care? But I just feel like there are so many social pressures on our youth today that we didn't have. That's only one instance that I can ever remember of anything.

And it wasn't even really that hurtful. It's just like, whatever, dude. But when Jackson said the thing about the shoes, I was like, okay, no, we need to have like a deeper conversation about this. Because number one, I need to know if you're saying this because somebody has said something to you at school about something. else like i needed to dive into that whole thing and it's just like it's so true think about the families that have four five six children and they have to go and buy all new school shoes school clothes whatever that's not in budget no and i just don't understand is it is it the rise of social media that has caused the extreme level of bullying and then we have to get back to the

conversation of define a bully because the schools define a bully as somebody who individually targets one person and is a repeated action. They don't define bullying as someone made fun of your clothes one time. So that's not a bully. Yeah. But like sometimes one time is really all it takes and like not take the clothing part out of it. Sometimes being made fun of period one time is all it takes.

Like, we have seen such a rise of younger children, self-harming, taking their lives. Like, it's so, so sad. And you can't convince me that it isn't because everything is at your fingertips these days, right? Like, people don't have to just go somewhere to see people. They are in communication. They are actively able to see each other damn near 24-7. If you are looking to get your home cozy for the fall, start your holiday prep early, I cannot recommend Wayfair enough. Myself, Kail and Lindsay, are all huge fans of Wayfair.

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I was just talking about this on my porch last night, and I said, I don't understand our youth and Snapchat. The incessant need to be in communication 24-7, they're taking pictures of like whatever it is that they're doing or it's like a selfie and it'll be like, I'm fishing or I'm golfing or this is my dinner. we didn't have that we didn't have a freaking cell phone so when we went home there was a complete disconnect from everybody that you went to school with unless they lived in your neighborhood or like on your street mm-hmm yep and now you have kids that are on instagram they're on ticot they're on all of these other apps you're facetiming each other they're texting each other they're playing video games with each other there is no disconnect and I do think maybe because of the amount of access that they have to each other

possibly has something to do with it. I think that that definitely plays a role. And it's crazy, right? Because as adults now, right, we all crave the disconnect. And the use is like, absolutely not. No, I said to you last night when you called me back, I was like, I am on my back porch enjoying five minutes of silence. Our youth today, they don't know what to do with silence.

They don't know what to do if they're not being overstimulated. Yeah, they have no idea. They don't know how to be bored, what to do. Their imaginations, you know, almost non-existent. That's why I love that Jackson has found something that he can do, that he's not constantly either on a video game or in communication with his friends. Now, he does have a couple of little buddies that he goes fishing with. But outside of that, like, they're not up there on their phones.

Like, they're literally fishing. They're in nature. And it makes me feel so good. Like, he will come home and he will fish until like eight o'clock. And he's not on his phone that entire time. And I'm like, you can keep up that hobby. And I will keep funding that hobby for the rest of. forever 1,000 percent and it's probably interesting the Congress like the actual lack of

conversation they have while fishing oh I know like I have watched before and it's kind of like this silent man sport or situation whatever you want to call it Jackson claims that it is in fact a sport um it's kind of like oh well you want one of my worms yeah you can have one of my worms and then there's like no conversation then five minutes later I call it something can you help me get it off? Yeah. Like that is the communication. And it's so cool because it's like they're learning teamwork, but also at the same time,

they're learning to be by themselves. And they're also disconnecting, but like connected. It's kind of like co-playing when they're little. Yes. And I was going to say that because I feel like one of my favorite, like my favorite way to like be with some of my friends is by like doing like co-activities together. Like, we can watch the same thing, but I don't want to talk to you. Like, I want to watch TV.

I don't want to talk. Like, it's like I enjoy the company that is there without it being company. Yes. Same thing with like, Corey sometimes, right? I'm like, okay, I don't always identify. Like, if I'm in the living room upstairs and I'm reading a book and he comes upstairs and he wants to play PlayStation, I don't identify that as spending quality time together.

But we're like in the same. area doing stuff and there's like a comfort there of like being with someone but not having to be entertaining somebody or in full communication. Okay. Well, it's interesting that you brought this up because I find myself, I am a quality time and physical touch. I find myself wanting the more I've become disconnected from my phone and like apps, the more that I crave like the intentional conversations that I mean that I don't feel like I'm overstimulated in those moments it's not like I'm accessible to my phone or you know I'm on my laptop no it's just like me and that person and a porch I love that like I I'm much better at having intentional conversation on weekends if I'm

not working if I'm completely out of my work brain and I'm just in my other brain like just me I do like that. If I have had a really long week or I'm working and I'm so over-stimulated, it is so hard for me to try to have like a conversation about anything else because I'm on such like a thin, like my wire is so thin at that point. I know. And I'm sure a lot of people feel like that. I think that probably my perspective comes from some of the past experience of a marriage falling apart. and knowing things that contributed to that. And it's like you're so overstimulated in your day,

like whether you're raising children or it's your job or it's his job, that it's almost like be here with me, but like don't. Yeah. And now that I'm outside of that marriage and now that I've had to face the fact that there were some contributing factors that both of us contributed to that, you know, ultimately created that situation, I am more aware in current time to be like, okay, no, like I need to disconnect and we need to cook dinner together and we need to have individual time with each other without our phones and without a laptop and without

extra noise. And I know that's not the case for everyone. I actually saw this TikTok. It was a single mom with two boys. And she said, I'm tired of people coming on here saying something about it must be nice to have the luxury to be able to do. And she was talking about similar things that I'm saying. because I have my kids all the time. And she said, well, then just get a fucking divorce. Oh, my God. Are you okay? But I'm not saying it works for everybody.

And I do think that when you are in a co-parenting situation and, you know, for me, it's like a somewhat 50-50 for most of the time, not all the time. But I do think that I am able to. disconnect in that way because of that. Yeah. I think really disconnecting in general is just good for the soul. Listen, the disconnect that I'm about to have in the next couple of days, nobody is going to hear from me. And I know that that's problematic. Littie's going to go MIA. I am giving you guys the warning that I'm going MIA. I do have to ask you about this because I want to know how you would feel. It was on People magazine and it says that this woman feels left out after her

boyfriend tells his friends that she can't go on a couple's vacation. So it says the things that we need to know. This woman says that she's often left out of group activities by her boyfriend. Tension rises after she finds out that he made plans with his friends without including her. Commenters are warning that the pattern may reveal bigger problems in the relationship. This woman turns to Reddit for support following her boyfriend's decision to leave her out of a trip with their mutual friends. She says this is not the first time that she has been excluded from important events or activities and it has left her questioning the relationship. In a quote, we've always had the same argument about me being left out of activities. According to her,

her boyfriend often refuses to invite her to dinner with mutual friends or hobbies that she's been asking to try. She says that there is usually some convincing reason why he forgot to include me. And I let it go until recently. The breaking point came after discovering that he agreed to attend a long anticipated trip with the friend group, but told everyone that she would not be coming. Okay. So I'd break up immediately. This is like an immediate red flag. This is crimson. This is blazing. This is setting everyone on fucking fire. Okay. So there's one of two things going on. one, he's not serious with a relationship or two, he's bringing another individual or multiple

individuals to set events and not you. So it does say later in the article that the couple is a part of a co-ed friend group. So this friend group that he's going on this vacation with that she's not attending is their mutual friend group. Okay, but is it mutual because he was friends with them first and she came into it and became friends with them or that's always so sticky and like that's the worst situation ever like if you have been in a relationship where you're like I want him to get to know my friends and then he becomes a part like of my friend group and then he's like why want you to get to know my friends and then

you become a part of that friend group there is nothing more uncomfortable when you break up and you both go back to like your prospective friend groups yeah because you're outstead from the other one. Right? Yeah. Luckily in my last situation, because it didn't end like what most people would probably say or the naysayers would say, oh, it was like bad. No, it really wasn't.

We've somewhat been able to remain cordial and like friendly with everyone, which is nice. But I wonder how often that a woman joins us. a guy's friend group versus a man joining a woman's friend group. That's a good question. That is a good question. Because I would say in my situation, most of the time, I only have two situations that I can reference. They kind of gravitated towards my friend group.

It's interesting because mine's reversed. I know. I would say I would imagine that it's probably somewhat like 50, 50, depending on the couple. mine is definitely gravitated towards his friend group because like my friends kind of lived all over the place you know what I mean so that's just difficult and his friends were all here what this situation is giving is that he wants his cake and he wants to eat it too it's like he wants to go and do this trip with your co-ed friends but what it would make me think not that he's taking someone else

on this trip, but maybe it's like a means to an end. So he's going on this long awaited trip and maybe he's entertaining someone else. Yeah, but there's so many other things that she hasn't been invited to that to me, it's like, okay, well, someone's taking up your time. You're not going to volunteer to go on a trip that all like other couples are going on. Yeah, because I mean, is that like third wheeling a couple's trip? Yeah. literally like you're the only single individual that just not really like i don't understand it says that she shares that her boyfriend told their friends that she would be too busy with her new job to take off four days and a quote she says i actually managed to get vacation time

approved but when i excitedly told him he shut me down saying that everyone had already booked flights and there wouldn't be any more space in the rental house like i will sleep on top of you like that's just so cruel to like if that were ever a circumstance for i'm just thinking of cori and i like he would sleep on the floor before he was like sorry there's no room like i don't if it's a couple's trip then how is there no room it doesn't make sense to me i'm like what are you sleeping on the sofa no because the space like in a couple's trip situation wouldn't this space be like this couple has this room that couple has that room that's what you would think and like the only thing I'm like, are you in a bunk bed or something? Like, I don't understand.

That would be real fucking weird if there was like a couple on the bottom bunk and then just like a single person on the top. He's just crashing the couple's trip, which is why I don't believe that that's a thing. I think that there's another individual. I believe he's just a cheater. Yep. Agreed. And on that note, we have foul play. Okay. This one was emailed to us. Hey, kitties, I have a foul play for you. Here it goes. Me and this guy. I had been friends with benefits for about a year, and he was a good time. Well, one night, I went over around eight, and when I got there, we always had a couple shots to loosen up and relax.

Tonight, I decided to really try and relax, and I ate a tiny, tiny part of an edible. This was my first one ever. This is not going to go well. Well, I hadn't eaten lunch that day. Not long after, the alcohol and edible started sitting weird in my stomach, and I felt sick. We sat on the kitchen floor, and he fed me chili cheese free dose. in an attempt to settle my stomach. That is a guy mentality for you. There ain't nothing about chili cheese or fritos. It's going to settle a stomach.

Like this man, chili cheese, fritos, here you go. We've got this. Okay. After about 10 minutes, I felt the urge to vomit. No shock there. I ran to the bathroom, began vomiting so hard that I was farting. Yes, blowing ass like I've never blown ass before. To make it worse, I was sitting crisscross applesauce on the tile floor and the air coming from my air. ass was bouncing off these floors. It was so loud and so embarrassing. This poor man came in, put my hair in a ponytail, and held a glass of water for me to drink and fed me tater tots. Where is he getting these food ideas? This is giving like a rat house. College dorm. He carried me to bed later and held me all night while I slept. I thought he would never talk to me

again, but we definitely did hang out a few more times before I finally cut things off. I hope you enjoyed this and remember to always eat lunch before taking shots and eating an edible. Okay. I will just have to say if any man, like I went to his house or his dorm and he thought he was going to feed me chili cheese fritos to settle my stomach and then back it up with tater tots after I've thrown up. Like that's an immediate no for me. Also, if you were, she said, that she was blowing ass she's never blown ass before the way

the fact I mean they're both troopers because the fact that they hung out a few more times after this like maybe they were should have been more than friends with benefits because this is giving like early stages of marriage I was gonna say

I'm like that might have been your soulmate sis I don't know oh my God so I've got to tell you this funny I was on the phone with Will the other day and I told him that I wasn't feeling well and he was like well I mean what kind of sick are you and I said

I don't know Will like throw up sick he was like are you shitting too and I was like yep he was like you know in all of the time that I was with you over 12 years I have never seen you shit? He sounds like he's very disappointed. And he's like, what does it look like?

Ew. I'm like, do you? I mean, for fuck's sake, Jimmy take a picture? He's probably like, yeah. But I do think that guys probably, no, I'm not going to say that because I have been with two guys that that never farted around me. No way. Jimmy to tell you who they are? Yeah. Okay. Hold on in a second. I'm going to type it to you because I don't, I don't want to, you know. You know what? The last one doesn't shock me. The last one doesn't? The last one doesn't. I guess the first one also doesn't surprise me. The first one was like more private than I was. Hold on. What? Are you typing? Yeah. Oh, that one definitely. that one definitely blue ass for sure and i'm just like okay moving forward now that i you know

have been with i had been with two people at that point i'm like okay the next two people i'm giving it away the next two people that i get with like please never fart around me there will be no Dutch oven, do not shit with the door wide open. I don't need to know any of that information about you, in fact. No, I don't want to know any of it. I wonder, percentage-wise, how many women fart and shit in front of their partner and percentage-wise, how many men fart and shit in front of their partner? I didn't have a choice when the first time that it went down for me.

It was Corey's fault. Wait, what? It was Corey. It was literally Corey's fault. He made you shit? Well, okay. So we were moving into the apartment and I had the stomach bug. And I'm trying to like move in.

It's May. It's hot. Like just whatever. Corey goes into the apartment. It's a very tiny. apartment. He cropped us and I start vomiting because the smell was horrific. And I was vomiting with such force that I immediately needed to go out the other end. So there was no hope at that point. So that was the day we moved in together. I was married to somebody one time that really

loved crop dusting and Dutch ovening. And it's like if you think that I'm staying signed up for this. In fact, that that's another reason. I was going to say, did you list it in your divorce petition? He cannot stop shitting his pants. So therefore, I can no longer be lawfully married. That is so funny. Thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple Podcast app, follow and right on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. For the latest merch, visit www.comfospodcast.com to shop. Full video episodes are available on Kail's Patreon at www.com slash Kail Lowry. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community.

We hope you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. Just when you thought summer couldn't get any hotter, Pluto TV is turning up the heat with thousands of free movies. Presenting Summer of Cinema Stream your favorite Blockbuster films like Gladiator I will have my vineyards Good Burger

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Pay Never This thing on I'm Kate Libristo Host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real. Maybe a little too real sometimes with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and Beyond.

I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nikki Glazer, Wells Adams, Elise Myers. Just, like, in this, like, business jacket, like, I would love some tacos. Heidi DeMilio, Big Brothers, Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened, and we're going to get through it. What I do.

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