Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Tucked Up Like A Crunchwrap Supreme

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

CC280: On this month's bonus episode, Kail and Lindsie get deep on coochie sizes and Lindsie makes an inappropriate comparison to a certain food item that has Kail howling. Surprise, surprise, both ladies have taken away phone privilages from their kids and have noticed some good changes in them. Lindsie wants to know about relationship breaks, Kail is alarmed by Lindsie's way of discarding tampons, and both confirm that they are indeed in their recluse era.. And today we go for a TRIPLE on Foul Play!  Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Lume: Get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code COFFEE at LumeDeodorant.comMood: For 20% off your first order and FREE gummies go to hellomood.co and use code COFFEECONVOSProgressive: Visit progressive.com to learn moreVegamour: Go to Vegamour.com/coffeeconvos and use code coffeeconvos to save 20% on your first order

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Hello, Lindsey. How are you post technical difficulties? I don't do well with tech at all. We know this about me.

I have never done well with tech. I don't like change. So even doing something from the computer was a big change for me. I'm so glad that we do. But when we have technical difficulties, like when wires short out and you don't even touch them. But then it made me think this also

happens to phone chargers. It does. I've actually been having a phone charger problem with the one that's like the lightning charger. And I have never dropped this specific phone in water. And there's no reason why my phone charger would have water. And every time I plug that charger into this phone, it says liquid detected.

So cool. I have had that happen to me before, but it's also been after I had my phone in the shower and probably like steam got in there. Oh, OK. So don't know if that's happening. But yeah, technical difficulties are just not a thing. Good morning, kitty gang.

I hope everybody is doing well and better than my fucking hair. I mean, I'm not looking great either. This is yesterday's hair and a claw clip. So we're just going to push on through today. I did derma plane my face before we got on here. I mean, that was a major priority for me today. So just. And you've been doing that, right?

Yeah, I do it once every three weeks. There was a lot of people that wrote me that was like, you shouldn't do it like that or whatever. And I'm literally not trying to seek advice. So I don't know why anybody is giving it to me. But I do it every three weeks. I understand that I'm not doing as good of a job as a medically trained professional.

They're literally using like a fucking scalpel on your face. So I'm very aware that my twinkle razor is not doing that type of a job. But it does. Twinkle razor. Enough of a job for me for my makeup to go on more smoothly. And my hair does not grow back rougher or thicker than when I took it off.

And scientifically, I don't even think that that's possible. Because the type of hair that is on your face or a woman's face that you like the peach fuzz is called vellus hair. And it does not grow back. Like scientifically, it does not grow back thicker. I'm not a doctor. I have no experience in this. But I did think that was a myth.

Only because like if you're waxing it, I could see why because it's coming back from the root. But if you're just shaving the top of it off, it's not growing back from the root. Like the root is still in your skin. So like I don't see how it could be thicker or darker when it's literally, it's like getting a hair trim. You know what I mean?

Like you're only trimming. You're not pulling it out at the root. The root. The root. You're not pulling it out at the root. So that's what I was doing. And then just really investing in my skin care. Actually, the last time I went to go and get some skin stuff

done, Kristen was telling me that she never puts on her skin care products before she goes to an esthetician appointment because they're so expensive and she doesn't want to waste product. And like, I love that about her. But also I would never think of that. I also don't put any skin care on. I don't do anything before I go get my Disport

because they take it off anyway. OK, but remember how we talked about like we are not the type of people that show up to appointments that like really look like we're doing the most. Like we show up to appointments looking like we're doing the least. Like we show up like this because why are we going to get ready for an appointment?

Even like a hair appointment, she's going to probably get water here at least to this line on my forehead. There's no point. I did one time. It was and she my my eyebrow girl tried to bled my makeup back out. And I was like, I'm not doing this again.

Listen, I will specifically like if I have gotten ready for something or like my skin appointments a later part of the day, I will take a shower at home before I go to my appointment. So like my makeup's off because I hate having half makeup on. I don't like the feeling of having like I said, I did go to one eyebrow appointment like that. It makes me feel like my skin is dirty, even though it's

like makeup and I've just been doing regular things. To go get like a disport or something over like un cleansed skin, I hate it. Oh, I absolutely hate it. Like that's why I am so specific. Like I take a shower before I go to a skin appointment. I take a shower before I go and get my koochie wax. But like while we're on the topic of koochies,

I got into a conversation with someone probably four days ago, four or so days ago, about vaginas. And then it led me to talk to somebody else. And they pulled up like this vagina chart. And they were like, which one of these are you? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know that it's like very appropriate for me to tell like entire Kitty gang and coffee

combos podcast about like what specific one that I have. But I do need to know if you feel like it's more common that people have innies or outies or like the medium ones. I think it's more common for people to have outies or like an extra large medium. Wait, what backup? Like a bigger medium one because I'm not even

going to lie to you years ago when I was dating the girl. And I'm calling her the girl because she will email me some wild shit. She, we were in a group chat. And I think this was post Lux. And so when I was giving birth to Lux, I actually, all my girlfriends were there. Rachel Quay, Bone, they were all at the house.

And so I was like, no, I'm pretty sure like my, my mucus plug came out and then like they all came in and they were like looking like. Like, whoa. Wait, okay. So wait. No, no, no, no. Yes.

So wait. So then fast forward, I say all that to say fast forward to when I start dating the girl and we're on a group chat and they're like, Kale, send a picture of your post right now because we've never seen a vagina like yours. And I was like, what do you mean? They were like, you have, like it's all tucked in. Like you cannot, like if I'm standing in the mirror

looking at myself naked, you cannot see anything but a tiny little, a little tiny slit. Everything is tucked and folded and put away and pressed and steamed and folded. Yeah. Mine's like a fucking Crunchwrap Supreme. Like it's all in there. You did not just compare your vagina

to a Crunchwrap Supreme. It's all tucked up in there, like there's nothing floating around, like you're not gonna wonder if we're at Arby's, like no, like none of that is happening between these legs, sister. Like no, no, no, no, no, no. But I will say, the people that I have seen without clothes on, all vaginas look different.

Yeah. Like all vaginas look different. I don't like that there's once. I mean, I get it, but I just feel like as a girl that it would just be more similar. Like you just have a slit and then that's just like what you have. And like how do you get, is it genetic

that you have like an Audi and any? I would imagine it's something like belly buttons, right? Like all my kids have Innis except for Creed has an Audi. Oh, only one of yours has an Audi? Yeah. Oh, wow. Wait, I don't think I've ever seen Creed's belly button. I don't know how it would act like I would see it, but like.

Yeah, he is the only one that has an Audi. And I don't know if Chris has an Inni or an Audi. So I can't even speak to that. But yeah, I mean, I'm thinking about any time, cause I watch like girl on girl porn. Like that's the only kind of porn that I watch. And their vaginas are very much different. Wait, I saw you talk about this somewhere.

I forget where it was. Was it the private chat? Probably. About girl on girl porn. Or maybe like the Facebook group, one of them. But yeah, I only watch lesbian porn. But like why? You know, I'm not entirely sure why,

but like a man and a woman doesn't do it for me at all. Yeah, but like if that's what you're doing. You think it's like a hidden, like my hidden desires. It's always made me wonder honestly about you. Like are you, do you just need to be with a girl? Because I just don't know. Yeah, I'm not entirely, like that's just how it's always, like since I ever, I mean, I don't watch it regularly.

It's actually been a long time. But if I watch porn, that would be with the choices. That's the category. But like for what, why? I don't know. Like I really, I want to, I should have asked that girl that posted or put it in the kitty gang chat. I don't know.

I really do wonder, like maybe it's just like. Like do you feel like it's like spicy and it's like exciting and it like makes you want to get dicked down or? I feel like it's just like a woman can do something to a woman that a man never can. And that goes for like, whether you're straight or not. I just feel like.

No, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true. Yeah, it is. No. Okay. I'm strictly dickly and haven't gone there. But I'm just saying like what is it that a woman can do? I know one thing you've told me before.

What? I can't say it. Why? I will say it's like, I don't even know what the word, like what I'm trying to say. Like more intimate and like not, like I don't love super rough sex with a woman. Like that's just like not my thing.

I could do it with a man, like one of my exes and I had like super rough sex and it was fine. But like with a woman, I wouldn't, I don't like it. It's like more of like a gentle. Sensual. Like. Sensual.

Sensual, sexual. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Wow, I love that for you. I did do some marketing research on the dick and the nipple color. And generally speaking, I think that it's close in proximity. The nipple color is close in proximity to the shaft.

I agree. It's not exact. No, but it's pretty close. And I did the test on myself. Oh. I looked at my nipples and then looked at my vision and it's very close. Like mine's actually closer than the testing that I,

well, I only saw one in person, but the others, they confirmed that it's like close but not exact. Okay. Yeah. I would say for me, I don't, I think that my nipples with my vision are close but not like what you're describing for yours. Like super, super like almost identical. Speaking of nipples though,

have you ever heard of HNS? No. I might have already know. Oh, I do. I have it. Do you see it? No, it's a little blurry. Oh, hard, hard nipples.

Hard nipple syndrome, you see? Mine are always hard. Mine are always hard. Why is that? What is that? So in high school, I had to wear a uniform and we had like multiple color options for the polo, but my dad always said that like I don't look great in red.

So I just really didn't never wear a red polo. So it was like blue or white and I just like alternated those. So anytime I wore like a white polo and wore like a sports bra under it, I was just like nipping like all through the Christian school. Oh, shit. The guys in my grade would be like LBC has HNS.

LBC, stop it. And I did. Like I just like strolled around with HNS all the time and I still have it and like it rarely ever goes away. Like I have to be like super hot, like almost having a heat stroke for it to go away. I, Elijah will always be like, what are you thinking about? And it's like, I don't get hard nipples.

The other day, actually in not the other day, we see a couple of weeks ago, we, Kristen and I were at the hotel in Dallas and I was like, I don't know what I was doing and my nipples were hard and I said, I'm not horny. I don't know. My nipples are just hard. Like they're just, they just are.

Wait, back up. Like how did, how did you just, like you just felt them hard and you felt like you needed to tell Kristen that? I think that we were changing to like go eat. And when I like, they're always hard. And I didn't want, cause Elijah always says that to me, like what are you thinking about? And I'm like, nothing, like they're just hard all the time.

So I didn't want Kristen to then think that I was horny or something. So I was like, I'm not horny. Like I'm just, they're just hard. I don't know. That's totally something that you would do. I could see you doing that. That would never be something that I would ever address.

I would just be like, why the fuck are you looking at my nipples? I don't even think Kristen was looking at my nipples to be honest. I was just like, paranoid. I just, I can a lot. Vega more. From curling and straightening your hair

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combos. Okay, so there was this tick talk and I want to know what you think about it because I think that you and I are kind of different on this in some ways, but then same in some ways too. It was Jennifer Garner and we can post the tick talk, not going to play it. She was on the today show and she was asked to talk about

how she keeps social media away from her kids and she explains how she told her kids to show her articles that prove that social media is good for teenagers and then she'll be willing to have the conversation. So basically to like find scientific evidence that matches what she has said and it's clearly not good. So she said, her oldest is grateful and do you agree with this or do you disagree with this?

I'll tell you immediately that the internet to keep it away from kids, social media, internet, whatever is really, really hard, but I agree with it. So Javi and I and Joe and I recently have taken the kids phones again, not for any specific reason, but I will say that I noticed such a huge positive difference in them in just a week and weekend without their phones.

You and I literally, it's so scary sometimes when we start talking because it's almost like we are brain connected. Because Jackson's phone also went away. So it wasn't a punishment or anything, but I'm also just, I have been reading a lot of things about like how it's not good. I also watched a similar tick talk.

It wasn't about Jennifer Garner, but it was a doctor or child therapist. I can't remember. And he says, your kids are not gonna like it if they've had phones up until this point, but you have to force them to have a real childhood. And that is where I was like, yeah, my kids have been fairly responsible with the internet and with social media,

but like, it's not a necessity. And I just, you know, I tried it. I tried to give them their phones. I tried to have them stay connected. I will give them phones in their backpacks for school just because I don't trust people. But as, I don't know if I mentioned it before, I turned off all the apps between 8 a.m. and 8 a.m.

and something p.m. And so like he, Isaac was only having access to apps like after school, but he just hands it to me now. Like as soon as he gets in the car after school, he just hands it to me because I tried it. Like we tried it, it didn't work. I thought it was fine. I thought they were responsible.

I thought they could handle it, but at the end of the day, as adults, you, me, Kristen, whoever, we scroll on our phones endlessly as adults. So imagine what that's doing for our kids who are, like I didn't have a cell phone until I was 16 years old and there was no social media to scroll, you know what I mean? Like they weren't smartphones.

It wasn't the same. So we tried it, didn't work, and now we're moving on, but I agree with Jennifer Gardner. I also took the phone, but took all, all technology. I mean, I am allowing Disney plus Netflix. Like if you want to watch TV or a movie or whatever, that's perfectly fine.

Like at the end of the day, because I want to. Yeah. But we're not going to do the phone all day. We're not going to do the phone immediately whenever we get in the car from school and then just like sit around on the phone, watching YouTube shorts, doing all the things that's just literally frying your brain.

We're not going to play Fortnite while simultaneously also playing on the phone, while also doing something on your Nintendo Switch. Like, no, we're not doing any of that anymore. So much so that like Will and I had a big phone conversation about this and how as co-parents, you have to be on the same page with who you're co-parenting with,

because if he's allowing it over there or I'm allowing something here, then your kids aren't playing you against each other. Oh, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. And it's just something that I don't want to engage in. Like what rules apply there need to apply here. Like I was telling Will that, you know, Jackson's going to, and this might sound crazy,

but I only have one. So it's easy for me to just do. I have 50% of the time. So it's easy for me to like clean his clothes, put them up all tidy, you know, make the bed. It's like all the way that I want to do it. But I've had to learn through like other things that I've been going through and through therapy

that the bed might not be made the way that I want it made, but he's learning a life skill. The clothes might not be put away the way that I want them put away, but he's still learning how to do it. And so that was like part of the conversation with Will as well about, you know, not having access to the phone

and him needing to play outside and like find other things to do. Like there's something to be said about kids getting outside and playing, finding a ball, doing something with it, being creative, using your hands for stuff. Like need to do that. But then also he needs to have consistent chores

at my house and at Will's house. Because if he's not having to do any of that over here, but then Will's making him do it over there, then of course he's not going to want to go there because he's like, well, mom doesn't make me do any of that. And so he now no longer has fortnight until Fridays. And it's going to be like Will said that he should be able to have it for like an hour,

an hour a day on the weekends. And then no phone, like there's no reason that he really needs to have the phone. Now, Jackson is part of like this basketball club facility where he can go and play and they like run drills and he works with coaches on like skills and stuff. And I can drop him off to do that. And he's like, I need my phone.

And it's something that I have to have a conversation with Will today about actually allowing him to have the phone and then maybe just having them keep the phone at the desk. Cause also last time he went and he had his phone, like kids are sneaky too. Like last time we went, he was making videos. He was making basketball videos. Like we're a part of the NBA or something.

That's like Isaac. Joe texted me and was like, I, you know, was trying to text Joe about Isaac's phone stuff. And he said that Isaac would go downstairs in the middle of the night and go get his phone and then be on it all night. Yeah, like why are they so sneaky? So I just took it.

I just, I have it now. And he's on spring break. You have, you're with V and your dad. There's no reason why you need your phone. Javi did email me yesterday and said, how do you feel about Lincoln having his phone during the travel time? They're going on a spring break vacation as well.

And I said, you know, I think it's fine for the travel time. You know, just something to do. I don't know if they're driving or going on a plane. I have no idea. But you know, something like that I'm okay with. But I did email him back and I said, but I saw a huge positive change in him this past weekend weekend.

You know, not having his phone. Hold on, I'll pull up the email. You know, not having his phone. So it needs to be heavily monitored. I said, I think it's fine for travel, but I noticed a huge difference in a positive way in the past, in him this past weekend without the phone. So definitely think we should continue

to be selective with his phone access. And that was my email back because I don't know if I, did I say this when we recorded our regular episode that Isaac and Lincoln played together without fighting, without anything this past weekend? No, you didn't say that. I, so Isaac and Lincoln, like, they kind of started going their separate ways

when Lincoln got really heavy into sports. We did talk about that. Yeah, and so it was really hard on Isaac. And I completely understand. I mean, I didn't have a sibling growing up, but if I did and then they, you know, found their own like thing and Isaac hasn't found like his, his piano is individual.

He doesn't have like a group. So it was really hard on Isaac, you know, when Lincoln started doing his own thing, but this past weekend, I mean, Isaac willingly went outside and played sports with Lincoln. They got along, they didn't argue, they did all their, like it was just, it did really surprise me that just a short amount of time without their phones

did that much. And I was just so proud of them and so happy for them. And they have no idea. They have no idea that that happened because of that without phones. Outside of phones though, that is society's problem. It's just the access that we have to things that there's so many options, right?

So Isaac might not choose first that he's gonna go and play sports with Lincoln, but when options are limited, then of course he's gonna choose to do that. I think when people, that's why I hate freaking dating apps. Like I've never been on wine, but I'm like, I just have big feelings about it. And I'm like, when the options are in list

then you can just like jump from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. Like how do you, yeah, like it's just scary. Too many options, too many, yeah, I'm not into it. Actually Isaac's little friend texted me and was like, did I do something? You know, Isaac's not texting me back. And I was like, he just doesn't have his phone right now.

Like he's thriving and you know, doing his thing. I said he doesn't have his phone right now. He'll see you at school. Well, I love that. All right, y'all. So whether you're new to cannabis or you're an old pro, there's no denying that many products on the market seem iffy at best.

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I'm Sarah Gretzky. And I'm Natalie Buck. And we definitely been known to cause a scene. So whether you binge to show this weekend or you don't even know what a streaming service is, don't worry because on causing a scene, we've got you covered from Netflix to Hulu and everything in between.

Grab your popcorn or your martini and get ready to cause a scene with your new best friends every Thursday. I wanna ask you something about relationships. Okay. What are your thoughts about taking breaks in a relationship? Do you think it's like a helpful thing?

Is it a hurtful thing? I think this is a loaded question and I think it's not a one size fits all. I feel my answer could be swayed with the right information or somebody's educated opinion. But off the top of my head, I'm gonna say if you have to take a break in a relationship, like a planned break,

it's probably not the right relationship for you. Now, if you break up with someone and then you somehow find your way back, you know, a year or two years later, that's a different story. I don't necessarily think that was like a planned break. It was like, you know, you grew apart and then you grew back together, but-

But I think a break still has just in my opinion and other people might think of this differently, but a break and a break up are very different. I think breaks are so messy and I think taking a break in a relationship is super toxic as well because you're not engaging with each other, right? But you probably still have the expectations

of the relationship without being in it. You're both kind of doing your own thing, changing schedules, lots of things are changing during that time. And to me, a break says I am unwilling to do the work, the hard work that I need to do to either make this work or to actually follow through with what I know needs to happen, which is the break up.

Correct, I agree with you. And I'm guilty of, unfortunately, I have to use Chris as an example. I don't think he'll get upset at this. But like, again, I think it was a relationship, he might not, but in the times that we would end the relationship, we still knew that we were gonna get back together

in a week, two weeks, whatever. And so even though we were broken up, I did still want him to hold on to the standards as if we were in a relationship. Not that he was doing it while we were in the relationship anyway, but if he slept with someone in the one or two weeks that we weren't talking, I felt like that was really,

I felt like that was wrong because he knew that we would get back together or we would end up, you know, back in the same situation chip, I don't know what he wants to call it. But, and so, yeah, I think they're messy and I don't, they don't make sense to me. That's why I also don't believe in new term phrases like situationships.

It's either you're in this or you're out of this, but I'm not willing to accept you half in or half out. This is true. You know, so I don't know, I think that I might have a different view on this had I not been in a relationship for such a long period of time and then also gone through a divorce

that could also, I think age probably plays a factor in this too. At the life phase that I'm at now, if I'm not gonna be with you and I'm not willing to work through whatever issues it is that would be causing a need for a break in the first place and you're not willing to work through those things, that gives me my answer, we're broken up.

Right, yeah. What do you think about revisiting relationships though? I have never been able, so I'm only speaking for myself. I've always had a really hard time falling back in love with someone. So like once I'm done, I'm done. So that's why it never really worked out with Javi

any time that we've tried to get back together after the fact because he felt that I, he knew, like he felt it, that I couldn't love him or be in love with him the same way as I once was. Like it was just never the same and I say that with like a long break because we went through a divorce and stuff,

like with Chris it was different because it was like we break up for a week, get back together, break up for two weeks, get back together. So it was like, we were still in the thick of it, but with, you know, other relationships, like I could never get back with Joe or Jordan or Malik because I'm just done, you know?

Like I'm just, I've never been the same. I think when you know too much and too much time has passed, you've lived too much life and they've lived too much life that it would be completely unnatural to be able to go back to that spot that you once were that caused you to be with that person in the first place. Agreed. And I mean, I do think that there are certain situations

that you might need time and maybe your life, your life is taking you on a different path than someone else's and you, like in mine and Will's situation for example, we were 19 years old. Yeah. So we essentially grew up together and did not have adult life experiences without each other. So in that type of situation,

I could see people like years and years and years down the road being like, oh, well, maybe we can give this a try again. However, I'm the same as you in the sense of once it's gone, the way I had it for you, it's never coming back. Never. You can't, I don't think that you can ever love someone as purely as you did at the point that you fell in love with them initially.

Once you've been through stuff, break up and then think you're going to get back together and it's going to fall back that way. It's just not going to happen. Now there are some situations that I think people break up and that was like a requirement to rid the toxicity of the relationship and then you come back together and can like rebuild from basically scratch.

My problem is, is I just know too much. So like, I know you, it's not like, I can't walk back and act like I'm just first meeting you. No, and I'm the same way. Like what did Lauren Conrad say? I can forgive you, but I will never, but I want to forget you. Like it's like, I cannot forget.

And like I've always been like a big person on like, if I'm forgiving you, I do want to forget like the things or at least throw it to the back of my mind and not have it like at the forefront. But when it comes to a relationship like that, like I just, especially for my two exes, you know, I'll never be able to love them the same. Like I have forgiven and I don't think about the stuff

that they've done. I'm sure they feel the same way about the things that I've done. But yeah, I just don't, it wouldn't be a thing for me. I think that because of what I went through in my last relationship that I now know myself so much better to be able to make statements so boldly in this way to say, if I was going to be in a situation

that we needed a break, I'm done. Or like someone cheats on me or does something inappropriate that is a boundary crossing for me, I'm done. I feel so much more comfortable in my boundary setting now than before and breaks to me just like aren't a thing. They're not a thing at all. So I'm glad that we've established that.

We do have a lot of questions from the Facebook group. I'm laughing, reading one of them. This is a great one. Flush or trash use tampons. This is a big debate that's going on in our private Facebook group. You're supposed to throw them away. You're not supposed to flush them.

No, no. Anytime you've ever been to a gas station and you see that little dispenser and there's tampon things hanging out, absolutely not. Like why? Well, I mean, women are disgusting. Let's just say that because actually went to, I'm not gonna say what restaurant it was

because, and this isn't even about tampons because I love this restaurant and I put it on their little, you know how they can do like a survey thing at the end? Wait, you did a survey? Like you get those little, like you go out to eat and you have like the little transaction like kiosk thing.

You went to Chili's. And it was like, pay your bill or what? It was Chili's. And I love Chili's. So like, I really didn't want to shit on them. Love them to death, but it was like, can you take a survey or whatever after? And it was like, the service, you know, your server,

blah, blah, blah, blah, do you have any comments? And I obviously gave the server who I love, like, I always see him when I go in there. So I gave him love or whatever, but then in the comment section, I said, like the woman's bathroom is disgusting. There was literal diarrhea sprayed on the wall. And I was like, on the wall?

It was, I'm thinking that maybe it was like a child that did it, but it was so foul. But yeah, if you go to like restaurants, gas stations, stores, they all have the little thing on the door or like in the stall for tampons and other sanitary things. And it literally always has signs like do not flush. It clogs your septic. It will ruin your well.

Why would you flush those things? Wait, so, wait a minute, at your house, you wrap up a tampon and put it in your trash can? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have a well, I can't flush that. Yeah, I come to think of it, Will's parents also have a well and I'm pretty sure, fuck.

I'm pretty sure that I flushed all of my tampons at their house. I mean, I'm guilty. I used to flush everything before I knew better. Like I just didn't, but when I got a well, I was like, cause I had a well at my last house too. And I was like, wait a minute, I shouldn't have to get my septic tank pumped twice a year.

Like that's not normal. I have, I have public water and sewer. But even still, like I, so I don't know if your bathroom has this, but in my master bathroom, my toilet is closed. Like it has a door from the rest of the bathroom. Yeah, mine does. So I have a trash can by like the sinks.

And then I also have like a little waste basket in with the toilet. And so I, you know, if I have my period or whatever, I just wrap everything and throw it in the trash. Okay. Well, I've never done that. Like not, not one single time have I ever wrapped a tampon that I pulled. It's not like I pull it out of, that's so odd.

Like pull it out. No, it's like you pull the string and it just like goes in the toilet flush, done. I mean, that would make sense. That would make sense. And like I said, I used to do it, but I just don't want to pay for a new septic tank or like constant pumping of my septic tank.

And so, and like where does it go? Like when you flush it into like a public water system, where does it go? I think it goes in that place, like when you're driving like in your neighborhood or like if you live in a neighborhood and it's like those little areas that like, you got to be careful

if you're playing with a ball on the road, it like goes down. Isn't that where it goes? I've never heard of that. You know, like it'll say like sewer. I don't live in a neighborhood though, so maybe that's why. Like you've never seen it on the sidewalk? Probably, yeah, I probably have.

And it's like, I don't know. Sometimes like cats and stuff will like get down there and like you'll see, I don't know, like balls will get stuck and it's like you can hear the water like going down there. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you can hear the water and there's like that.

Yes, okay, I know what you're saying. So you think it goes down. I wonder if that's where it is. I don't know. I feel like that would be like if everyone was flushing their tampons, I feel like that would be like a health hazard. I mean, do you know the state of like the world?

Our entire world. Our entire existence as a health hazard. It's a health hazard. I know. Like, I can't. So you are a rapper and actor. Okay, the last thing I want to say on this is that I think that there is a better way

to have dispensers in bathrooms. Yeah, I agree with that. I also just wish that women who use the dispensers, you know, it is- Passive cooth. It's perfectly acceptable and fine to be sanitary about it. You can wrap it and then put it in there

and make sure it's all the way in the dispenser. You don't have to leave it hanging the fuck out. Okay, but like why do people act like that is their personal dispenser? Why do they act like they're animals? If you've ever opened one of those things, like you open the lid up, you might see like a fucking maxi pad,

like on the top with like shit all over it. And I'm like, no, like that's not, first of all, that's not proper disposal of a pad. Like not that I'm a pad wearer, but if I was, I would imagine it would be like coming off of your panties, like you roll it up, you put it, some tissue on it and then you like put it in there, right?

Yes. Yeah, if I was a pad wearer, that's what I would do. People just like don't, I don't know if they weren't taught that or if it's just like a lack of self-awareness, awareness that you're in a public place that other people are also using it and just like selfishness and just being dirty,

but this is just a public service announcement for anybody who's listening to this, wrap your pads and wrap your tampons. And if it's so full that you can't like get it in there, then come up with another solution because I can promise you us normal people who go into the bathroom to pop a pee, we are not trying to see that.

You could literally wrap it up in tissue so much and throw it away in the regular trash can. If the dispensary is so, the dispenser is so full, like we're all women, wrap that shit up and put it in the regular trash, like there's no reason for you to leave it hanging out. I can't, women, sometimes it's like a little pee on the seat from men is far less disturbing

than some of the women's bathrooms that I've seen. I just need to know like why there was diarrhea on a wall and chilies, like. I was so disgusted, I just was like. Like I'm upset. And I was upset too because I fucking love chilies and so I had to leave a comment, I hope they fixed it. I love chilies, so chilies, just tell management

to go clean in the bathroom, please. Okay. We'll be back. Now I wanna tell you guys about something that I actually just got in the mail. This is something that will help you smell better naked. Let's just face it, our underarms aren't the only place that we have odor. So that's why I'm excited to tell you guys

that I'm trying Lumi. This is whole body deodorant. It's for your pits, your privates and beyond. I remember years ago, one of my girlfriends was telling me how she puts like regular deodorant on her inner thighs and I was like, that's kind of wild. So Lumi was created by an OBGYN who discovered, improved in a clinical testing that the vagina

is actually not to blame for day-to-day odor below the belt, so she developed Lumi, a uniquely formulated pH-balanced deodorant. It's aluminum-free, skin safe and clinically proven to control odor for up to 72 hours. I did just get my Lumi package and I got the whole body deodorant. I got that too.

Mine was in toasted coconut. Is that the one you got? I got lavender sage and then I got the acidified body wash in clean tangerine. I've already tried it and love it. I am big on aluminum-free products and if you guys wanna try as a special offer for our listeners, new customers get $5 off

with a Lumi starter pack with code COFFEE at LumiDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit LumiDeodorant.com and use code COFFEE. Next one. If you had to live in a TV show or a movie, what are you picking and why? Ooh, this is a good one.

There's a couple of shows right off the top of my head that I would wanna live in. Like a funny one would be Working Moms. I would definitely live in a TV show because they have the same sense of humor as me. Well, I have the same sense of humor as the show and I fucking love it and I feel like I can relate so hard to them.

Another TV show that I would live in is Lawn Order because I feel like the serious- SVU. SVU, period. Because the seriousness and the Olivia Benson and some of the attorneys, I'm like, that is career-wise what I would wanna do. So those are my two.

I also really love Grey's Anatomy and if I was smart enough to be a doctor, which I'm not and I never will be, that would be cool. I'm not shocked by any of the ones that you just said for yourself. I would choose Virgin River for my love story. Okay. Or the notebook.

However, the notebook is like a controversial movie. Found out that on TikTok and said that it was like the most toxic love story because he was so controlling and not accepting of her saying no and whatever. I just disagree with that and I just need everyone to know. But Virgin River,

I feel like living in a little small town and just a simple life, just being in love and doing very normal to some people might be mundane things. That is the life that I wanna live. I just wanna have a husband that wants to spend all his time with me and we're just at the local pub

and we're just grabbing a brisky and having some wings and like watching movies and having like this amazing love story. So that's what I would wanna be doing. Law and order for sure, SVU. That is the other side of my personality and like I just wanna fight crime. Like-

I just wanna fight crime. Lending kill, add it again. We will solve any crime by dinner time. Whether that be law enforcement, an attorney, an investigator, whatever. Like I just marry Kate and Ashley. Like I don't care. Like that is for sure me.

Another one though. And this is gonna be like older me. Grace and Frankie. I love Grace and Frankie. Yes, older me is definitely living in Grace and Frankie. Older us is Grace and Frankie. Yes, yes. Bone put me onto that show forever ago

and that is exactly what I would want for my elder years. I am Grace and you are Frankie. Period, period. And like if we ever had to live together, like could you imagine- Oh my God. It wouldn't be too bad in all seriousness because we're both kind of like recluses in our own way.

Yeah, I was actually thinking about being a recluse the other day because that's something about the men in my family. Like on my mom's side, my grandfather and my mom's brothers are extremely reclusive. Like I told you guys about the Photoshop with my grandfather. Like we would have to take pictures of him when he wasn't looking and then for the family photos

he would hide and then we'd Photoshop him in. They're just like reclusive. Like even if they had company, they would not come out. Like it would just be like my grand, like when I brought Isaac to meet my grandparents, my grandmother made us like sandwiches and stuff. And then like my grandfather came up for like one minute and was like, what's his name?

And I was like, his name is Isaac. And that was the end of the visit. Like my grandfather was just so reclusive. He'd always be working, always doing something. But I feel like I've also turned into that. Like I don't want to do anything and I don't think that's the depression talking. I think that is truly my personality.

I am fully content at home. Like kind of what you described as your love story is how I describe myself. Like I truly happy and content in my own, like and I feel like Kristen gets frustrated with me because like I want all these things at my house but like I don't want to leave my house. And so you don't have to leave it.

Yeah, like I want my pool, I want my pool house, I want the little facility for Lincoln to do his drills and his training and stuff. And I don't want to leave my little compounds. Like I don't want to. You're actually creating a compound. I will say, I don't want all of that chaos at my house. I like to know that I have less maintenance

and I can go somewhere else that someone is going to maintain it and I can leave it. So do you have like a neighborhood pool? Yeah, and then come back to like my peaceful existence. See, I would love that. So if I would have went the neighborhood route and there was a neighborhood pool, I think I said this on Coffee Convos before

but like originally when Javi and I first moved here and we were buying a house, that was one of the things that we wanted to do in this one neighborhood. But what was the final decision on that was the builder said that they had a section for the neighborhood pool but sometimes they don't always get built.

Like they have the area, they have the plan but sometimes it never happens. And so it just sits there. And so that was the deciding factor for us. That was like, okay, why would we pick this neighborhood if they're not going to end up putting the neighborhood pool? So I would love that. My friend Sterling lives in a really pretty neighborhood

and they have a neighborhood pool. Like that would make sense to me. I would love that. It's so nice to be able to have that. It's like a very nice amenity, very clean. And I can come back to just like my peaceful little house. I love to have a peaceful home. I don't think I've valued that.

I think I've valued it for a while but I don't think I've valued it earlier in life as I do now. Like I don't want any chaos here. Like I don't want anybody chaotic here bringing chaos into this house. Like don't bring your negative energy here. I'm definitely an energy reader

and I told someone that from my past. Like anybody who is listening to this will know once I say what I said, who it was. But I was like, I don't trust your energy in my home. You said that to someone? Yes. Like I don't trust your energy in my home. Like you're a disturbance to my peace.

And I don't want that in my house. I told Kristen not that long ago I played when people want to make plans now it's like, and Kristen can vouch for me on this. I will literally say, okay, let's go take the kids to do X, Y, and Z and I'll give suggestions because I no longer want people at my house. Like obviously Natalie, but that's different.

But like people at my house all the time, no. Because even my kids get upset. My kids are like, they don't want to share certain things. And then the playroom gets messy. Sometimes the kids don't help. And it's just a lot and like moms want to relax too. But like I also, to have a play date at my house and for it to be not chaotic would have to be very structured

and like, okay, this is what we're gonna do that this time and this one, and that's too much work. So I'd rather just kind of like how you feel about the pool. I want to go somewhere they can tear up the sky zone or whatever place that we're going and then we can go home and relax. No, we're not doing play dates at this house. I don't want anybody here.

And I know that that sounds crazy because I also grew up with a big family. Like always had people around. My grandparents were stopping by pretty much every day. So many siblings, so much shit always going on. But like my parents didn't really allow us to have friends over either. Like if friends were gonna come over,

that was gonna be in a summertime because your ass was getting locked out and that pool can entertain you. But it certainly won't be these hardwood floors. My parents carpet our bedrooms or their fucking pantry and kitchen. I stopped buying snacks for that reason too. Like I'm not having my kids

and all their fucking friends are eating snacks the whole time I'm finding trash up. Like it's just, no, like we can go somewhere, burn some energy. I think it was like a week or two ago, my friend Emily and I took our kids to like a jump place. And honestly, my kids were fucking exhausted after an hour and a half of jumping.

And it takes care of multiple things. You take them to do something active, they're gonna be tired. You get them out of the house. They're not gonna fight. They're not probably fighting. They're not making messes. And then no one else is gonna be in your house

to contribute to the mess that your kids are probably already making. And also there's a definite start and end time. My other friend wanted to make plans last week and I was really sick. We were supposed to go to probably that same place. But again, when I texted her, I was like, this is perfect, they can jump for an hour or two hours.

And they have snacks there that we can buy if we want or feed them before we get there. It's a definite start time, definite end time. And she even said, she's like, well, we have to be done by this time because we have baseball at this time. And I was like, perfect, like that'll work out. I ended up not being able to go

because I felt like absolute shit. But yeah, same thing. Yep, that is something that I absolutely love. Jackson and I do this like all the time. We'll go to the jump park. And normally I'll try to do it to where it's like around a meal, if that makes sense. So like he's had a meal and then we'll go.

And then it'll be like dinner time when we leave. So then I'll get him Taco Bell on the way home. He showers when he gets home, he's been fed. And it's like, it's over. Yep, yep. Coffee Combo's podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking.

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Discounts not available in all states and situations. We get asked this question all the time and we should probably put ourselves forward like for this TV show, mom swap. If you had to switch lives with each other for a week, what would each of you absolutely not do that the other normally does? I'm not fucking with your cats.

I don't fuck with my cats either, Isaac does that. Like what would I do? What would I not do that you do? A lot. You have Jackson shower as soon as he comes home from school, right? I knew that that's what you were gonna say. I don't think I would do it.

And I would just be pissed. Like you're gonna be in my house, right? Like you're gonna have him at my house? Yeah. No, like you can't be trusted here. You're thinking about him sitting on his bed or the couches or anywhere with his like school clothes or his camp clothes or whatever and you're like.

Do you know how many germs are on those things? And then you're sitting on. So I talked about the magic sofa cover on Southern Tea this week. And I'm like, I need magic sofa covers for like every sofa that I have in this house. I'll have to send you a link for it, but it's basically like these fitted sheet things,

but they're like made specifically for couches. So it covers up all of your shit. So then you just like take that off and wash that instead of it getting all over your linens. Like. Do you have them? No, like I'm ordering them tomorrow. Like I order stuff from Amazon on Fridays

for like the next week. Just like things that like I've seen or I wanna try. Like I try to order unless it's like something, okay, I need it like within a day. Right. But I normally like make a list and just like add stuff to my Amazon cart throughout the week and then I go through.

And if I still want all those things on Friday, then I'll go ahead and like pull the trigger. So definitely gonna get it. So I'll let you know about it if I like it, but I would have to install magic sofa cushions on every couch like in this house for you to come here with my kit because I feel like you would just let him do,

he would think you were the coolest mom and like you're not worried about germs. And I would, no, I would just tell all of your kids, I would be like, no, like you guys are crusty and like you need to go and take a shower. You actually, Isaac is very much a germaphobe. So you and him would get along very well. Isaac does not do public pools.

Like he does not, he really does. I don't even know if he's gonna go in the pool at Kalahari cause that's where they are for spring break. I'll be very curious to know if he's gonna go in the water. He doesn't like his food touching. He doesn't like, if a fork has been used to take something on it, like to test something out of the oven and then used for, no, that's not a thing.

Isaac is very much like- See, I'm like all of those things. Like I don't like public hot tubs. Like it's not my favorite thing to get in a public pool. Will I? Yes. Do I love it? No.

Do I feel absolutely disgusting while I'm doing it? And then when I'm sitting there letting it like, you know, like when you get hot and you're like sitting outside on a lounge chair and then you go and get in the pool and then you get out and like so, and it's just literally all of that funk is like absorbing into your skin as the heat just like penetrates your skin.

I'm like, I can't, no. So that would be something that you would allow him to do. Something that I would allow your kids to do that you probably don't, nothing. You actually, I feel like you take, you take Jackson to do like jump park stuff and like those kinds of things more frequently than I do. So the kids would probably love that if you did that.

Oh yeah, like jump park, arcade. Oh yeah, they would be all over it. Laser tag, all those things. Like last weekend, for example, we went to this place called shoot 360 that is like a basketball training facility. We went there, we went to the arcade, did arcade, laser tag, pizza, like all the thing.

And then we went to this cool little park and like our little downtown like community area. It's a new park. He threw the football there for like hours. And then when he got tired of doing that, it was dinner time. So then we went to go and get pizza, dessert, like all the things, got him a fortnight card, came home, played fortnight, went to bed.

See, I love, you know what? The part of the problem is here, we don't have places like that. Yeah, there's like less for y'all to do. We don't have the flyover fun park, which is like the jump park that we went to recently. That is the only one within an hour of us. And we don't have like an, we don't have an arcade.

We don't have any type of facility that you just described where you can like drop them off and like do drills and stuff. We don't have anything like that. We don't have, there's parks, but that's pretty much it. No, like I don't know what I would do with your kids because I'm so used to, and like accustomed to having all these things at my fingertips that it would be really hard to like,

I would feel like I was living in the country. Well, I mean, it's like farmland USA here. Like we really don't have, I'm trying to think of like another place that like everything that I can think of, main event, sky zone, that's an hour drive for each of those. I guess the movies, we could go, like you could go to the movies, but how often are you gonna do that?

You know what I mean? No, like I'm scared like even thinking about it. It wouldn't be a fair mom swap because I have one and you have so many. So maybe we should do it, like that's not fair. Like I'll swap with Kim Kardashian because she has the closest number of children to what I have.

Or you can swap with me and just give me like one. Cause he's similar to Jackson's age and interests. Yeah, like just give me Lincoln and like I'll just do all the things with him. Oh, he would love that. Oh my God. He wants to go to Topgolf so bad and there's no Topgolf mirror.

It's like two hours from us. Oh, I would be relocating with him somewhere to like a city that had like all the shit. We should definitely, we should definitely do this. Okay, one last question from the Facebook group and then we're gonna have to table the rest of them so that we can do some foul plays. The biggest thing that we disagree on.

Ooh, biggest thing we disagree on. Porn. I mean, yeah, I hate it and you love it. I don't know if I love it, but like I don't care about it. It's funny because remember on your, the episode we did that was like your birthday week. Yes. And we were talking about,

I was talking about like how much growth that I've seen you change like since we started podcasting. I feel like this question would have been more fair when we first started podcasting than now because I think that we've both grown so much and I've bent to be like more similar to you in a lot of ways. And then you've bent in ways that you were like hell bent

in other ways that was completely opposite of me to be more middle of the road. So like there's not a ton of things that I would be like, we disagree. Like deal breakers, like we don't, like I'm sure there are things like religion, porn, shit like that, that we just like don't necessarily agree with the other,

but not like where we can't talk about it. There's never, I don't think that there's anything that we haven't been able to have a conversation about. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I definitely agree with that. Where's Kristen? She might know the answer. Where is she at?

Yeah, I can think of one that I just thought of. What? Scheduling. Yeah, but I have started to be more like you and needing the schedule. But like it was an issue when we first started podcasting like scheduling because I was just so,

I don't know if your personality type changes or like you just like evolve, but I feel like I was so much more type A when we first started podcasting than I am now. It definitely helps that Kristen keeps both of our schedules. So everything's so fluid with that. But I feel like if she didn't, and we had to come up with like our scheduling changes

that that might be. A conflict. Yeah. A conflict. Agreed. Because we're both so also hell bent on giving all of our time to our children. Yes.

And like we don't wanna bend on those things. So I would say the biggest bone of contention, honestly has probably been travel and one person between both of us always loses time with their kids to do our trips. So I know that Kristen schedules them now so she makes it more fair to where we're both, if one of us is losing, both of us are losing.

Right. And so yes, exactly. So yeah, I think you're right. I think that would be the biggest like, but what did you call it a bone of contention? Yeah. But I don't even think it, it's just life, you know? It's just like, it's just life.

Kale wants to be at literally absolutely everything. I wanna be at everything. And it's hard because I'm a mom and you're a mom, but you're a mom of multiples and I'm a mom of one. So a lot of times when I'll be like complaining about losing time with something, I'm like, yeah, but I have one and that's not to diminish my motherhood by any means, but it's when you have so many

and you're like juggling all of those things, I feel like it's a lot harder than just juggling with the one. Yeah. I mean, thankfully right now, Lincoln has no sports. All his sports are done. Thankfully. Thankfully.

I mean, I love when it's happening. I love the seasons, but when the seasons are over, I'm very thankful because I'm like, okay, we've been through the ringer these past couple seasons and especially if he has like back to back stuff. So right now we only have Lux's flag football is about to end and baseball. So thankfully, and Chris is actually taking

Lux to football now. Well, I mean, football has always been in the middle for us. So he's generally always participated in that. So that helps. And also I've been trying my best to kind of let the rains loose a little bit with like practices and things like that. Like I cannot be at every single practice,

but if I can be at every single game, I will. The most selfish part of my existence is Jackson. Like I don't want to bend on anything that's like his schedule or my time or anything like that and you're that exact same way. So I think that that would be probably the biggest conflict in the sense that it's not a difference, it's a similarity. Right, exactly, exactly.

So the only difference there is that I have a shit ton of children. Absolutely. That's the only difference. Okay, so we're gonna do some foul plays, but I just want to say, if you're listening to this, you guys need to make sure that you submit your most foul stories and experiences.

These do not have to be turd related. Like it can just be like anything foul. So foul behavior, waxing horror stories, like anything that is just like a bad experience or over the top that have you ever had one of those experiences where you're like, I'm never gonna tell anybody this because they're not gonna believe it

because it's so like outlandish. I mean, that's what I felt about my sex tampon story. Like it wasn't outlandish. I was just like, I'm taking this one to the grave. I was so embarrassed. Submit those to us. They don't have to be poop related, okay? First foul play, let's go.

Hey ladies, I wanted to share a foul play that I have. It was my 18th birthday. I was living with my father and stepmom at the time. They bought me a nice cake and sang to me. I was in the process of buying a car, but didn't have one yet. I was seeing this older guy and he invited me to meet him in the woods for a walk.

LOL, I already knew what he wanted to do and I was down for it. I asked my stepmom to borrow her car. She said, okay, no problem. And gave me a curfew of midnight. Anyways, I meet the guy and we have sex in my stepmom's car. When we finished, I asked him to please throw the condom out

and make sure it's not in the car. He assured me he did. We said our goodbyes and I went home. The next morning I woke up to my stepmom screaming at my dad, crying and my dad's so damn confused. My stepmom is packing her things and I'm asking her what's going on. She told me to ask my dad.

I asked my dad what the hell happened. He said she found a condom in her car and thinks I'm cheating on her. My face turned red. Oh my God, no. I had to go to my stepmom and tell her everything. I was so damn embarrassed and ashamed. I apologized to my dad a million times.

It was embarrassed. But I had to tell my dad I've been having sex in his wife's car. Love you ladies, keep doing the damn thing. I hope you found this foul play as funny as I still do and I'm 30 now. I need to know what their reaction was. I need a follow up.

Okay, you know how I said like car sex is just, I know you've conceived in one, but like. Multiple actually, but yeah. And the BMW and the mall parking lot. It's like one of my favorite stories. But I just, I feel like there's just better places to have sex. And I understand like the fire alarm sex,

like you need to do it like right then, right there, like all these things, like it's hot and heavy. And no, like we can get hot and heavy when we're in a comfortable place to where we're not doing it in the car. At any point that I'm 18 years old and some man asked me to meet in the fucking woods. No, because I brought way too much true crime.

That's where I thought this was going. I didn't realize this was gonna be having sex. And I thought the woods and going for a walk, I was sure he was about to kill her. Although I am kind of a hypocrite when I just said that because one time Will and I, for please, we went to Florida and it was like the first time Will had been on a family

vacation with my family. So it was probably like 19 or 20 years old and we went on a bike ride and we were like back in the woods. And I guess we decided that we were gonna have fire alarm sex, but it was more so just not that we like needed to do it right then, but we needed to do it right then because we were going back to Todd Chris Lee Sal's

and like you just do now, like unless you wanna be offed and be your own true crime, no, so. Not be your own true crime. So yeah, we just had sex like in the woods and then went back home. So I do think that sex in the woods is a thing. Oh no, it is. I absolutely had sex in the woods with my ex-boyfriend

who my high school, I don't know if it's an ex or if it's just like a high school thing, but unfortunately he passed away, but we definitely had sex in the woods before. I also need to wonder why someone would lie about throwing away a condom that they didn't throw away. Yeah, like what the hell was that about? Stick that shit in your pocket if you had to.

Was that a trap? Like what was that? What I need to know because he was older than her and she was 18, why did you not tie that shit up, put it in your pocket or further just literally throw it outside? I mean, I don't recommend littering, but obviously given their ages and the situation,

like she told you to throw it out, but also she should have checked as well. Yeah, I mean, but are you checking around for something that you were just told was gone? Like it's not like we're checking around for something that our kids fucking lied to us. Like this man had a hard on, took a condom off, said that he threw it away and he didn't.

So like, I don't know that I would necessarily just be going around like snooping around like, let me find the condom that I thought was gone. I want to know if she ever told him, like you said you threw this away, but you didn't and now my parents are like going through it, so. Like they're literally getting divorced because of your lies, essentially.

I wonder what the reaction was and like. Oh, the last thing that I'm going to say about this also is remember how I've said not to have sex in your parents' house and like that's not a thing, but like you said it is a thing. And a lot of people told me it's a thing. Don't have sex in your parents' cars or their house. That's the moral of this story.

Okay, next. Next, one of my first dates slash hangouts with my man was Easter. I was in high school. He's not on Resurrection Day. Oh God. I was in high school. He was my first ever real boyfriend.

We went out with our friends to family events and then we went back to his house for the final Easter event of the day. I was wearing a cute summer dress and no underwear. Free ball into the full list. Sounds like me. As we were hanging out, I was sitting on his lap and talking to our friends and his family.

All of a sudden he whispers in my ear to get up and follow him to the other room. We went into the other room where he awkwardly whispered, to me, hey, you started your period. I could feel it seeping into my pants and I didn't want to embarrass you. When I tell you my soul left my body, I was only 15, never had sex with him or anything.

All the blood drained out of my face and I just started apologizing profusely. I ruined his pants. I was so embarrassed. He reassured me it was okay and it's natural, but that's when I knew he was the sweetest man and a keeper. What does that, I mean at 15 years old and he like nicely said to you,

hey, like come with me to the other room. I thought he was like horny or something. Me too, I'm like. No panties, he felt her butt jiggling or something, but no, that was honestly, that's really sweet of him. Like, hey, I didn't want to embarrass you. Aw. Like this is Easter, he has risen and I cannot.

Like, first of all, do people typically have periods that are like pretty scheduling or no? Like is that less common? My periods up until the last like year or so, two years, have always been like fucking clockwork. Like what you described last episode of your periods being clockwork,

that's how mine were always until I developed PCOS and other things and became overweight. But yeah, no, mine were clockwork. Like I knew when I was going to get them, but maybe when she was 15, it's still pretty new. That's what I'm thinking, like pretty new. And so she might not have had it that long. So she wouldn't know.

Cause I mean, I know there are certain times of the month that like I'm not going to put on a pair of white, you know, coochie cutters because, you know. Pant flow could be knocking at the door any moment and I'm not trying to have fucking period blood all over me. Wow, that's pretty bold to wear a sundress with no panties on Easter.

But I love this person, whoever this person is that told her about her period and like not only did she get it on his pants, but it was like also going down her leg. We love him. Like we need him to be exposed and we also need to know if you're still with him. And he's very sweet.

We're proud of him. We are so proud of him. Okay, next. You want to read it? You want me to read it? I like when you read them. Okay. When I was in high school,

I had a boyfriend that I started dating in middle school. Well, my freshman year, I got suspended for a month and was grounded at home. My parents took my phone away. What did you do? Right, like for a month. For a month? My parents took my phone away from me,

but I remembered that my mom had my old iPod in her dresser drawer. So one day while she was out, I grabbed it and kept it hidden from her so I could still keep in contact with my boyfriend. This is what we said when we said kids are sneaky. Yeah. Well, one night we planned for him to sneak over to my house

in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping. I know now looking back how high school childish of me. Well, that night came and it was a success. He slept over and we planned for him to leave in the morning when my parents went grocery shopping. Well, plans changed because my parents ended up never going grocery shopping. So when we had to figure out a way

to get him out of the house because his mom was calling him nonstop and she said she was going to show up to my house. My bedroom was on the second floor in the front of the house. Our smart dumbass idea was for him to go out of my window onto the porch roof and jump off the side of the roof. Well, my neighbor across the street saw all of this happen obviously because it was 11 a.m.

and called my dad and said someone tall is climbing off the roof. My dad immediately ran upstairs. I'm almost shitting my pants. He starts yelling and asking what was going on. And then he realized it was my boyfriend and starts running down the street after my boyfriend. Well, by the end of all of this,

I was grounded for a year and my boyfriend got a bruised tailbone. Now every time I see my dad, he jokes about the situation with my husband. Not the same guy and it's so embarrassing. Thanks for listening. I hope you like the crazy 15 year old story. Okay, only a teenager would think that it was normal

to be like, oh, he was just like jumping off the side of the roof, right? Like that's like a teenage thought. Like when you're trying to bamboozle your parents, like first of all, when I was a teenager, I lived in a gated neighborhood. And I don't know why I thought that people could just like come through a gate with a guard shack

and climb up multiple stories, like they were gonna scale brick to like get into my bathroom window. Like that's just like not a normal, that's just not a normal thing, but that's what teenagers think of like, oh, it's fine. Like we're just gonna jump off the side of the fucking roof. Right, like we're just gonna casually just scale down.

I mean, I definitely had someone sneak out of my house when my mom's husband came home early unexpectedly. We weren't doing anything cause I, for some reason, like I had already had sex with like my ex-boyfriend, but like I would not have sex with this one guy. And my mom's husband came home early. He was a truck driver. So he was gone like Monday through Friday,

but he came home early. And when I tell you the full blown panic of having someone in the house and just having one of your parents come in, like I didn't know like how that was gonna go, but he ended up, he saw him sneak out. So I got in big, big, big trouble. Like what I imagine if that ever happened,

I would be like, become one with the bed. Like you, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's why I didn't do it because I would have been offed. Also, just wanna say, when you're a teenager and you get your phone taken, it's like different level. Like I remember my little pink flip phone, shout out to Razor, Motorola Razor.

Being in my dad's bedside table. Why? Cause you got it taken away? Yes. And I was so afraid that he turned it on. Like in my mind, my teenage mind, I was like, oh my God, he's in that bed right now and he is in there with my pink Razor out

and he is going through all of my texts from the day. I would cry. Like, isn't that the worst? And I'm like, I think that that's the things that honestly like set in my major anxiety. And parents took phones away back then, like you really didn't need them cause you weren't going anywhere.

Like the things that you were doing wasn't what kids do today, or at least it wasn't what we were doing. Like I only had a phone just cause I had a phone. Like it wasn't like I was going anywhere that I needed to contact my parents. Like my phone wasn't to contact my parents. I was literally sneaking out of the house

until 4am with no phone. No, like, no. First of all, not sneaking out, but also with no phone, absolutely not. But that is kind of funny. Like if you sneak out and you get busted and your parents call you. They can't call you if you don't have a phone.

That's why you did it. Like I was doing the most with the absolute fucking least. Like I'd work my shift at McDonald's, come home, act like I was going to bed. My parents would go to bed. And I'd be out the house until 4am, smoking weed into Kwan's mom's minivan. Dark blue, he didn't have a license.

His brother didn't have a license. Miles didn't have a license. Nobody had a fucking license. And we were token and a million, a million. You know that song by Will Wayne. I know exactly that song. Oh my God. A million here, a million.

Yep, we would just be blasting that shit. And there was one time we even got, they got pulled over by the police. No, like. Oh my God, it was a blast. That's one of my favorite things about you is like all these lived experiences that you can tell me about that I didn't have to do.

But like I can live vicariously through you. Like, the thoughts of being in a fucking minivan, no. I don't know how I'm alive. Me either, to have all of these children that we regularly bitch about. We hope you loved this episode. On that note, we are outie. I am way behind today.

I still need to get my meal into the crock pot. So love that for me. If you guys have not followed us on at Coffee Convos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us there. If you've not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app. Always first at Podcast One. Hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

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