Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Twin Mom, Sharing is hard & Dealing with rumors

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

CC329: On this month's bonus episode... Sleeping doesn't exist for Kail, she shares the latest in being a mom of twins. People are starting rumors about Lindsie's relationship, AGAIN!? Why are you so obsessed with her?? Kail says she is thinking about marriage but finds it hard to think about sharing her life with someone who wasn't there through her hardest times.. Lindsie relates and explains why they might feel this way. Also on deck, their thoughts on Dr. Death season 1, and a listener asks for advice on getting back at a sneaky cheater. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsors! IQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help Progressive: Visit progressive.com to get a quote today

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you This is coffee convos with kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels kale That does not interest me whatsoever I feel very attacked by you a spirit and discussion about motherhood friendship family and life in the public eye I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Hello. Good morning, Coffee Combos podcast. How are we doing? We're we're doing okay. We're doing okay considering the chaos. I have not slept for a long time. As it's birthday was last week. We gave him tickets to go see Olivia Rodrigo,

so we're gonna do that. How are you? Wait, he's just going. Well, so we got four tickets. I'm assuming that I'm gonna take him, and then I said that he couldn't buy the friend or two. So, and I didn't know if it'd be like two friends or a friend and a parent.

Like, I don't know how that works. So, the concert's actually not until this summer, but I am 31 years old and just found out that you can register for like pre-sale tickets. My entire career of buying anything, I've always bought resale items. My career of buying anything has been like the resale. And that's why I was like, why are these tickets so expensive?

Like I don't understand, like we're going to Morgan Wallen in May and like all these tickets are so like why? And Kristen was like, Kale, you have to sign up for presale like through their websites or whatever, like before they actually go to StubHub and like ticket master and stuff. And I was like, oh. I didn't know that because I don't really buy concert tickets,

but two concerts that I would absolutely love to go to, Morgan Wallin and Taylor Swift. I know you're not a Swifty. I know you aren't, but it's just I've always been a Swifty and it was like my going to college first year of college album. And it was played at like all of our parties. We're talking like Circa Love Story 2008, 2009.

I thought I'd found my Romeo and I was his Juliet. Like, I don't know, I just feel like I've been through all of the same life phases through her songs. And I really relate to her. And I just really love the normalcy. It's not normal because it's so publicized, but I love the normalcy of her relationship with an athlete. Is it normal?

Is there anything normal about it, though? Yeah, because I just think when you're going from Jake Gyllenhaal to Travis Kelsey, I'm pretty sure she dated Jake Gyllenhaal to Travis Kelsey. I just like it better than being with an actor or I don't know, there's been all this speculation about different people that she's been with. I don't really know who in fact she's been with. I'm not really my business, but I know that she's really into Travis Kelsey and I'm really into the fact that she's really into Travis Kelsey and I'm really into the fact that she's really into him. Well, I'm also really into Travis Kelsey. So that is like the one thing that

I can say I'm definitely with her on that. Jackson actually came home when he found out about it and he was like, mom, I know that you love Taylor Swift, but you might hate her now because she took Travis Kelsey. She took him. Like he was basically yours and then she took him. Yes, ma'am. I need to ask you a question though. Gas. Like gasoline?

Yeah, like gasoline, not out of your ass, like for the car. Do you ride with your gas light on for like a long period of time? Or are you one of those where it gets like the tanks half empty or half full whichever one you are and then you fill up. So two things to this now in my current state of life I do not let it go like typically do not let it go under half because the way that I rip and run up and down this state,

I will be in a situation where I will run out of gas if I do that. I embarrassingly enough have been on the side of a freeway a handful of times for running out of gas because I would push the limits. That was years ago, like when I was severely, not severely, significantly more irresponsible and also chaotic and also just like,

didn't really have my life together. So I've definitely done that, but would I do that today? Fuck no. I feel like nobody would guess that I would be the type of person that would do it. But I do it. We have a TikTok of you doing it. All the time.

I do it all the time. And it'll be like zero miles and I'm still going. Like where actually am I going though? So you like playing with fire? No, I just feel like maybe it's not gonna run out for real. And it's like a fake out. Mm. You know, I don't know.

One time when I was in high school, I don't know if I told you this before, but when I was in high school, my parents gave me a gas tank a week. And that was it. So like, if you had no gas, you were not going anywhere. Okay, well, one time, I let Julie drive my car to go and pick up like Wendy's and Zach's bees for us for dinner. And I'm like, Oh, good, she'll get in the car and she'll go fill me up. And I have fucking bamboozled her. No, bitch gets in the car and runs out of gas. Oh, she didn't look at the gas tank over where she never looked. I guess she never looked and it was dead on I mean, it was like dead

on me. Okay, so then here's my next question. Do you make sure that you fill your tank, like if and when you get gas, Lindsay? Yeah. Do you fill it before you get home or do you fill it the next, like if you're already close to home, you're like, fuck it, I'll get it tomorrow kind of thing.

It's really a toss up, honestly. I mean, I've been riding with my thing on E with a light on for two days. And I went this morning before I got on this recording to get it because I was like, you know what, two days is like long enough. I should probably do it. Yesterday I had like a 30 minute window between drop offs at school. And I was like, okay, I'm half, I'm on half now, but I know that I have to, to be X, Y and

Z tomorrow. And then Saturday, I'm ripping and running this fucking state. So I was like, let me fill up now because I just know that I'm not going to get another opportunity without being late to something else. And then yesterday Lux had a hair appointment too, which I completely forgot about actually. So I was like, okay, I need to like strategically plan my time so that like no time is wasted. And I don't know why but like, I feel like my gas runs turn into like a 20 minute excursion because we have to like go in the store and get snacks and like, I probably have to go to the bathroom or whatever the heck it is. So it ends up being like a 20 minute thing. Back up. You go into the gas station. I go into every single Wawa. Like there's never a time that I don't go into Wawa.

So even if you're by yourself, you go in it? Yeah, because I probably have to pee or I used to have to poop. Um... How's that going, by the way? You know what? I can't say that I've had any issues lately. The last time I shit myself was September, I think. So we're doing pretty well. We're doing what that's a long stretch. That is a long stretch. So honestly, how are you? Because it was it was getting to be like

on a multi time a week basis. Yeah. So I'm really glad to hear that. Can we back up for a second because you said that you announced the twins and can we talk about how shady I am because someone asked me something on my Instagram Q&A and the question was when are you going to see Kyl again and my response because I didn't know that you announced the twins my response was going to be well it's really hard with someone being pregnant and carrying two babies so I'm glad that I know And that I didn't answer that. So you so excited to be a twin mom? Yes and no. Yes, I am. The nights are very, very long. So

that part of twin momhood is very but you know what the same could be said for a single baby. Some babies that are just baby like one baby they don't sleep at night. So the same could be said about that. Is one of the babies a better sleeper than the other? Yes. And do they both wake up at the same time or no? So that was like the biggest piece of advice that everyone kept saying was like, make sure they feed at the same time at night. But nobody really, which is what we've been trying to

do, but like, nobody prepared me for the day that they would stop wanting to eat at the same time. They're not the same child. So one can go longer without feeding and doesn't want the bottle. So it's like, I don't know. So then it really does become like waking up every single hour instead of like every two to three hours. It's like every hour. So that it's been rough. And Elijah and I have been switching off like some days, you know, one of us will get both of them. And then some days, one of us will get one and the other one will get the other. And some days, I'll, you know, he'll let me sleep or I'll let him sleep. So it's just, we're, we're, we're finding our footing right now.

Is this like a discussion that happens before bed and you guys like make a determination that one person's getting up or both people are like how does that know it's just whatever happens in the night like if he if I feel like I'm more awake I'll do it and I feel like if he feels like he's more awake he'll do it like we don't have a conversation we also haven't thought about it yet which is really it gives me hope we don't have that conversation because we just never know what by the end of the day and by the end of the night we never know who going to be like more tired or like doesn't mind getting up that day or like maybe I have a harder day the next day. So then

he like it's just you never know. I will never forget after I stopped breastfeeding and it came time to do like bottle feedings at night. Will had it on Easy Street. Breastfeeding mom is out there. It's like they don't have a titty, so there's nothing you can do. You're responsible. So for like six months,

I was responsible solely by myself and that's why we co-slept for so long because it was just easier. And it got to a point where he could kind of get it himself, which I know some people say, oh, that's dangerous. Well, when he went to go and try to get it, I don't care what anybody says, you can feel your baby latched to your nipple.

So like I was very well aware that he was trying to feed. So got time for bottle feedings. And I tell Will, I shake him and I'm like, this is you, like I'm going to do the diaper, but you got to go get the bottle. Because at that point we didn't have like the baby Brezza or whatever it's called, like the cure egg for the formula. And I never used powdered formula. So I always had to use a warmer.

And I was so weird about not putting formula in the microwave because I read all of this stuff about how it depletes the nutrients in there when you use it like heated up in the microwave. So will goes downstairs to heat up the bottle. And I'm like, this is taking a really fucking long time. So I'm like, I've got this baby up here. I don't really want to take him downstairs into the light because that's going to wake him up. Don't want him to roll off the bed. You've really caused me a big problem. So I try to like push it like pushing him between like two pillows so he doesn't roll off and go downstairs and wills asleep on the couch. What? Wait, why? How did that happen? How do you want to talk about? Any mom will relate to this? Sir, my baby's bottle is now

ruined because it's scorched. Like the milk is absolutely scorched. It is steaming and disgusting at this point. You are laid up on the couch sleeping and I'm trying to figure out for the last 30 minutes what the hell like, have you been milking your own titty? Like what has been going on down here? No, no, we got into the biggest fight and I squirted him with the milk out of the nipple. And I was like, do you really think that my baby is going to drink this? Feel how hot this is? And I just like squirted him with it. I was so angry.

I don't know what I thankfully that's not happened with any of our kids so far like Elijah and my kids that hasn't happened. But I have definitely been in situations where I'm like, like there was an episode of I forget if it was 16 and pregnant or teen mom or Joe left out my breast milk. And as you know, you can't and it was like a little tiny bit. And I think I got a lot of hate for it like Kale's making a big deal. But like I was 17 years old, like breastfeeding, pumping, trying

to like get my milk supply in and he left out an ounce of that was a big deal. And I remember just like flipping out and nobody would understand like why like I just feel like like moms now would understand you know what I mean? Yeah and I just feel like that's not something that maybe at the time that that was aired that people were really like publicly talking about that stuff not that it wasn't going on I just think that people weren't comfortable to talk about it yeah but yeah I straight up squirted him with that milk. Did he say how he how he ended up falling asleep and not bringing up?

I don't know. I don't know. They never know. Clearly you don't fucking know because you're asleep. Like just go to bed. And at that point, you're like as moms, just as women in general, like how do you move past that? Like I'm so mad.

Now it's like now stay on the couch. But like I don't even know how to move past this. Like it's so it's like an stay on the couch. But like, I don't even know how to move past this. Like it's so it's like an accident. But also just like, how do I not be mad at this? And then I'm sure he was like texting everybody being like, you'll never believe what happened last night. Lindsay squirted me with milk. Okay, I have to ask you this question because I got in a debate with somebody the other day about it.

Is a titty and a nipple something different? Yeah. Right? I feel like the titty is the whole confection, as we love to say. And then a nipple is just the nipple. Right? Yeah.

That was my explanation too. And they were like, no, a titty and a nipple are the same thing. No, it's not. A titty is like everything that you're working with. Right. Okay, I just need to know if anybody else disagrees with us because I don't feel like I'm wrong. Yeah, no, we're definitely not wrong. This is this is one thing that we are not wrong on. Coffee Convost Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Hey, Coffee Convost

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who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and Coverage Match Limited by State Law. Speaking of debates, I have a question for you and I wanna know if you're on board with this. Before I even tell you what it is, I'm gonna tell you that I am on board with this. I think this is very cool.

I think it's a good idea. And I found this article on Buzzfeed and it is a bride and groom that are charging their guests to their their own plates for their wedding. And I absolutely think it's genius because my whole thought behind it is like, people should be celebrating the couple getting married. If you don't want to be there, don't pay for your plate and don't go. Also, if you're not paying for your plate, don't go out of sheer obligation because I don't want you here

if you just feel obligated to be here. So the bride charged each guest $75 for their dinner plate at her wedding and people are actually saying it's becoming more common. I've never heard of anyone doing it, but most all of my like closest friends are either married or divorced and not in the phase to like have a wedding.

So I've never heard of that. Although I do feel like it would loosen the budget a lot for like other stuff if people were paying for their own plate because flowers and food, isn't that like the most expensive part of a wedding? I would say so, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I might not do it, but I don't disagree with someone doing it, or I wouldn't be offended if I got an invitation to something and then be required

to pay for it. I think a lot of people's argument would probably be, you're inviting me, but I'm having to pay to come. Weddings in general, I feel like are just very expensive for the people who are getting married and the people who are attending because it's like you gotta get the outfit. You probably wanna go and get a blowout. I don't know, like I just feel like my hair

looks so much better blown out. If you have to pay for like a room block or whatever you're paying for hotel reservations if it's an out-of-town wedding there's a lot of things that like go into it and so I absolutely just hate the idea of weddings all together anyway. I also feel that way now because I as we know I've had the big wedding, I had the $150 plate per person. And now I look back and I got a total of $500 between cash and gift cards for 140 people. Not that I'm ungrateful, but it's like people don't have wedding etiquette. And so we've talked about that before, but I feel like say you were to get married and you

were to invite me to your wedding and then it says on here the gist is after you RSVP, RSVP you the bride politely thanks you and then asks you to pay for your dinner at her wedding and the dinner you know is X amount of dollars. If you said okay I got Kale's RSVP. And thank you so much. It's gonna be $100 per plate. I guess I have two questions like perfect, like, is it gonna be good food? But also, does that kind of offset the gift giving like you don't have to give a gift? I think that would be a really good idea that if they're paying for their food, then it's like in lieu of, you know, like if you ever been to a child's birthday party and it's like in lieu of gifts, something else or like a card, do a book. Yeah. Something like that. I could get behind

that where I don't agree with this is this is coming after the RSVP. So you can't just like assume somebody's financial situation. So I think that it should be a part of the wedding invitation. I agree with you. I definitely agree. So like also I was thinking, so Elijah already had a big wedding. I already had a big wedding, especially for people who have had already done the big wedding already, you know, maybe they're already financially set. There's no wedding registry. We already have all the things like Elijah and I don't need any home things. So we probably, my guess is that we wouldn't have like a bridal shower or something like that. And then we don't necessarily need monetary gifts. I feel like this is a good way to like, it also, if you don't want to go to a wedding and you don't know how to tell someone that you don't really want to go or you can't go and you can say

like my finances don't really support this right now. I just, I truly feel like it's a good, I don't know, I love it. And I also think you take people out to dinner to celebrate their birthdays or big milestones. Why is everyone else not paying for their food at a wedding too? I mean, I could get behind it. The only thing is, is if I was doing this, I'm not, but if I was, then it would just be a part of the invitation because then I feel like you're going to get back. It's going to create a huge margin of error because you have people RSVP and they don't know about this. And then maybe they get this

information and then they're not coming because of that information. That's just like so sticky. So just like do it all in one foul swoop and be done with it. Also, the other thing that I could think of is you know how that you know how people have a problem with RSVP as a whole? Like they either don't do it, forget to do it, show up without doing it, show up or don't show up and they did RSVP. I feel like that would eliminate that. The other problem would be if people RSVP, yes, and then you go to collect the funds or they go to, you know, they show up at the wedding and they didn't pay for their dinner, then what do you, like it just creates kind of like a sticky situation. So I almost feel like there would have to be some sort of system where your RSVPing,

your RSVP is your payment. So you don't get to say, oh, you know, I'll pay in two months or I'll pay the day of or I'll put you like there has to be some sort of system where it's like once you pay, your RSVP is confirmed. Let me tell you what I just saw in public Saturday. I was checking out getting Jackson's birthday cupcakes and there was a mom in front of me. And she was talking about how hardly anyone RSVP'd

to this party. And she had a bunch of stuff. And she was like, last minute, I'm kind of rushing around because I got all these RSVPs post the time that people should have RSVP'd and now it's caused like chaos for me. Why do why is that okay? Like to me, that is the rudest thing ever. I'm kind of of the mindset if I'm hosting anything, I'm not going to let you know where I'm hosting it. I'm just going to ask for your RSVP. And if you don't RSVP, then that automatically means you're not coming because you don't

know where we are. Say that again. I hate the fact that people are so rude that they do not RSVP. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. But say the part. So what do you mean about like, like not putting a location on whatever it is. So like if this is at my house or it could be, I don't know, like it could just be at a Mexican restaurant.

It could be, I don't know where it could be. Okay. But asking people if they want to come celebrate Jackson's birthday, for example, do you or do you not? Okay. They don't RSVP. Okay. Well, I'm not telling you where it is because then that eliminates me having to worry about if you're going to show up and you have an RSVP.

That's actually kind of genius. I've never heard of that. Like, I've never, I have to say that there have been, as I get older, I understand the importance of RSVP and doing all of that and, you know, making sure that you RSVP or decline or whatever the case is. I haven't always been great with that but as you get older you know that it's really important. That's kind of genius not putting the location. It's like okay yes here's my RSVP and then upon your RSVP I will send you the location. I mean that doesn't eliminate the people who will RSVP and don't show up but even though I do think that's still rude, I also feel like I'd rather have more than enough food than not enough food or whatever the case is. Also, you know, things do happen if they cancel like they RSVP yes, and then they still send

a gift or the RSVP yes, and then something comes up, I get it. But that is kind of genius. No, I think it's a great idea. Speaking of too much food, when you cook at home, do you always have leftovers like you overcook or you cook just the right amount or you don't cook enough? I've had all the situations occur. I now I have been since Creed started school full time, he goes until all the boys get out of school, so it's a full school day. I have to pack his lunch, so I know that we're gonna have

at least enough for me to put the hot lunch, like I use leftovers to put in his hot lunch, because I got that thermos lunchbox. So lately I've been definitely trying to cook just enough to have that. If we cook pasta or some sort of chicken or something like that, we'll definitely have leftovers. But then there's times where like my kids are just savages if we have sports that night

or something. So it's really hit or miss. I've also had times where like Lincoln specifically after sports will be like, is there more? And I'm like, no, so it just depends. Yeah. No, I am always an over-cooker, and I always have leftovers. And I'm not a leftover girl.

Like, I didn't grow up really eating leftovers. I guess if I was at my grandparents, I probably did, but Julie cooked every night of the week, so it just never was like a leftover house. I don't really know who ate them. But for example, like if I cook a roast, or I cook spaghetti, I have enough for an army. And it's just you and Jackson sometimes Trent. Yeah. And I'm like, what, what have I cooked? This makes no sense. So now what I've gotten in the habit of doing

is I will send stuff home with Trent, like if I make a roast, I'll send stuff home with him because he'll eat the leftovers, so then I don't have to worry about being wasteful. Or if I cook like a crock pot full of spaghetti and I've doubled my recipe, then I will freeze half of it. So on nights that we have sports,

I can just pull that out in the morning and it's already made. And then the only thing I have to do is make the noodle. I love, Alasha and I will put like leftover, like if we know on a Monday, we're gonna make spaghetti like you said, we'll know, okay, that's a meal. We'll definitely have leftovers.

So like on the Tuesday little acrylic thing that we have, we'll put leftovers because we know and Tuesday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays are sport nights. So we like to have just either easy stuff or leftovers. Do you guys ever do a potluck at home where it's like you take everything out of your fridge at the end of the week and everybody just kind of eats what they want?

100%, we have those days. Just because sometimes we only, we try to only order out once or twice. It hasn't been going super great lately cause the weekends we just don't want to cook. But even with like takeout leftovers, it'll be like, okay, if we have a Chinese leftover and then chicken nuggets, I don't know,

we'll do both like we don't care. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar and I regularly say so am I, because I have not had time to do anything else other than grab an IQ Bar and it is my go-to every single day. I actually had a peanut butter chip bar this morning for my breakfast.

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Get your discount text combos to 64,000. That's combos to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Do you want me to tell you something that I think repulses me maybe more than anything in the world? If you get egg drop soup at Chinese, like it's good right when you get it. But if you ever put it in the fridge and take it out and like go like that, it's like all jelly and can be old and it's just got like shit floating around. I don't know what egg drop soup is. So I

can never had egg drop soup. No, I don't even need a little crusties on it. Let me go go. I feel like everybody has had egg drop soup at some point in their life. No, I've literally never seen this in my life. Okay, so I'm going to put you on a mission to get egg drop soup, eat it, but then like save a little bit and put it in your fridge. No, you're gonna eat this and do this. Just so that you can see what I'm talking about, it's so disgusting. I need to ask you a question and then we can completely move on. Um, I need to ask you a question and then we can completely move on. Why are you so glad to not be pregnant anymore?

Yes, I am. I, yes, it's, it's, it's bittersweet in a way that is like, it was very difficult for me. The last two ones were rough on my body. Um, I wasn't my healthiest and also I'm just getting older in general, but it's bittersweet because even though I don't want to be pregnant again, I just know that it's never gonna happen again. So it's bittersweet in that way, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. You have said before, you told me a long time ago when I've thought about all the times of having another child still when I was married. And you're like, your body will know, or like you will know when you're done having kids. And I feel like I'm in that in different phase

of if I have another one, I would be so grateful and happy that I did and would love to carry another baby because I just loved pregnancy. But if I didn't, like I'm also still fulfilled. Yeah, so yeah. So it's kind of like, it's kind of like that. The bittersweet, like you love being pregnant, but, and, but you're, you're also kind of okay with the idea of maybe not having another one. Yeah. Um, yeah.

It's just like the circumstances would have to be right at this point of my life. I'm not willing to do anything like reckless or haphazard. I had actually posted a video of what is it like April Fool's where I told Jackson that I was going to have another baby just because I wanted to get his reaction. And now people think that I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. It was an April Fool's joke. I'm sorry that some of you guys didn't get it.

But I'm just here to confirm that I'm not pregnant. The next thing I need to ask you is, are you gonna get married ever again? Yes, I do think we'll get married at some point, yeah. Are you excited to do it? Am I excited to? Yes, like I feel like this is for me. I just don't know.

Am I excited to get, you know what I'm not? The thing that's holding me back is sharing my stuff. Like knowing that it's no longer mine and it becomes ours. Right? Like I don't do well with that. I don't do well with sharing. I don't, I like what is mine is mine. I also don't like the idea of not being independent and doing things myself. Like

those are the things that I'm struggling with, not the marriage, the relationship, Elijah, like it's none of that. It's like my own, my own, what is it like, I don't even know what to call them, like my own. I struggle with that too. And I think that I never had those struggles when I got married the first time because like I said, I went from my parents' house pretty much to Will and I being together. So I never really had that experience of just like what's mine's mine.

And now that I have had that experience, I've publicly talked about that before that that is one thing that I have had that experience, I've publicly talked about that before, that that is one thing that I fear because this is my house, my things, my stuff, my life, and then that other person's going to have their house, their things, their stuff, their life. And it's really hard, I think, as you get older to combine those things. That's, that's the only real struggle that I'm like an internal conflict kind of thing That I'm feeling it's just and not that I think that there's anything wrong with

Sharing that don't look at other Relationships and marriages and be like damn why did she like they have to share that like that's not how I view it I think it's just because I come from such a alone Place like a lonely place. I don't know if it's like a lone place or a lonely place. Like, everything is mine. Like, I've worked for it. I did this even even down to like teen mom and 16 and pregnant. I looked for that opportunity. That was all

me. You know what I mean? And so like I, that was something that I did. Nobody else encouraged me to do that. Nobody else gave me that idea. Nobody else like I did that. And so like I, that was something that I did. Nobody else encouraged me to do that. Nobody else gave me that idea. Nobody else like I did that. And so everything from that point forward to is like, I did this. And so I got myself here. I dragged myself through the mud. I went through hell. I exploited my own life.

I fought for, you know, for relationships against relationships. Like I did all of that. And so I got here because of me. And so it's very hard for me to think about sharing that stuff with anybody, not just, you know, Elijah. Well, and I think too, when you've had publicly failed relationships and like toxic stuff, I think it puts another added pressure on the situation

to be like, okay, I am willing and able to do this at this point. But then you have that fear in the back of your mind of I've done all of this for myself. And now I'm sharing all these things. And if this falls apart, then what does my life look like then? And I've thought about that too, like not that I would ever prey on our own downfall or, you know, the relationship's downfall, but I've thought about the fact that, you know, I've shared them on social media, we have three kids together, we, you know, all of this happened so fucking fast. He's truly never been on TV.

And so if we ever got back into that, like, what would that look like if we did split? Like, what does that look like? And so I, I'm very scared. I feel like there's more writing on it if there's a marriage involved versus if it's, you know, we're just in a relationship. But I don't know if that's necessarily true because we already have three kids.

So I don't know if the marriage part, it's just in my head that it's part of it. Speaking of relationships, why are you looking at me like that? I don't know what you're about to say. Speaking of relationships, why are you looking at me like that? I don't know what you're about to say. Speaking of them, I have been in probably like the worst week of my life in a long time, and it's because of the frickin internet. What happened on the internet?

It's everything that has been sent to me. I do not go on Reddit. I get screenshots of Reddit posts and stuff sent to me directly to my DMs or on Facebook, like my private Facebook. And there's been like all this speculation around my relationship. Are Lindsay and Trent together?

Are they not? Cheating allegations, stuff coming down the woodwork from past lives. And I just kind of want to clear the air. We aren't not together. There was no cheating that was involved. I am not breaking up with Trent to get back with Will. The stuff that happened with Will and I post divorce is long gone at this point.

And I think people just need to kind of let that go and let that ship sail. Well, you know, I am rocking with you with Trent, without Trent, with Will, without, no matter what I'm rocking with you. So what you tell me is what you tell me. And I try not to ever ask you about your relationship because I feel like everyone in that, maybe everyone, um, I did, there was a point where I used to tell my girlfriends everything that was going on in my relationship or my relationships, right?

But like the older I get, the more I realized that the less people need to know because nine times out of 10, whatever issue that we're going through, we're going to work it out and I don't want my friend to not forgive my partner when I did. You know what I mean? And so also every single relationship, no matter who the fuck you are, is going to go through their trials and tribulations and their trial and error and they're going to you know, grow with, with or without their partner and I don't, we don't need outside input.

And so I agree with you not wanting to share your relationship and I support you. And if there's ever a time that you change your mind and you decide you want to share it, you know, I'm going to support you too. But what you tell me, what you offer me on your own is what you offer me. And that's kind of interesting that you say that about this, because my cousin said that to me about my book when it came out. And I was like, why didn't you read it? And they were like, anything in that book, you would, if you wanted us to know, you would have told us. And I was like, I guess I didn't really understand like still about it though. Yeah, like now that I'm older and I think about when they said that

and it is aligning with what you're saying is like, if you wanted me to know something, you would tell me. If I'm not out here posting a photo of us every single week, doesn't mean that something's going on or doesn't mean that like the world is crashed and fallen apart. I know that I had said on the Southern T that this year I'm just fully focusing on myself, Jackson, work and just like personal stuff and that doesn't mean that I'm not focusing on my relationship. That just means I'm not sharing that. I'm not publicly sharing it and I don't know if you feel like you need to go to my page to see a picture posted for some form of validation that my relationship

hasn't fallen apart. Like I don't know what to tell you. Like Ms. Rachel said, their opinions are none of our business. Listen, if that's a really, a really, really hard thing, I have to tell you something that happened. So have you ever, I'm trying to be careful, have you ever had someone in your life that you probably knew was doing stuff that they shouldn't be doing, but they're doing it anyway and then think that they're sneaky by doing it?

Because this person isn't directly connected to me personally, but connected through the situation. And this person also thinks that I am not aware that they are the one behind posting some of this stuff and having other people post this stuff. You think that you're being sneaky whenever you're doing it, but I called your number a long time ago You're not undercover. You're not smart regardless of how many degrees that you have

you're giving me a Cinderella story vibes where this stepmom was telling Well, who does Hilary Duff play in that movie a A Cinderella Story? She plays... Oh, what? Sam. Sam. You're not pretty. You're not smart. All of that.

Like, that's what you're giving out now. What was her? Jennifer Coolidge. Is that her name? Coolidge? Coolidge? Yeah. And you know what?

I've never liked her since that movie, but have you ever watched a movie and you became so committed to that person being that character that you can't unsee it? Yeah, it's like Mrs. Wormwood from Matilda. Like I can't she's forever a villain in my life in my in my head. 100%. So there were comments that have just been made. First of all, false narrative based off of the comments that were made and no one ever underestimate me because I am the queen of keeping receipt.

So that was dumb. Number one, that was dumb. You're not smart. You're not pretty. And you're dumb. And you're dumb. So you can go out and spend your, your false narrative to other trolls who will sit and agree with you on your false narrative or feel like you're

spilling some type of tea. When in fact, you don't have any tea to spill because you don't know shit. It just very wilds me. But with that person spilling the false narrative, how I knew it was that person was because no one would have even known some of the things that were said to even twist the narrative if it wouldn't have been

that person, if that makes sense? Yeah. So I'm like, okay, stay out there stalking and obsessed. Like you've been that way for a while now, too to loo. Yeah, I mean, that's when you keep your, your, your friends close, but your enemies closer and tell the enemies like different things like Kim K and see which one comes out. Remember when we said that we were going to do that? Well, so something like that happened to me and just because I'm so aware of those things,

those types of things happening. I literally, um, I was like, nobody's ever going to catch me talking about this because one, it's probably a trap and two, I don't give a fuck. So I've learned my lesson with that stuff. I literally texted Chris and I was like, this is a trap. I want nothing to do with this. Like do not because you're not going to sit here and say that I told somebody something. So no parts, please.

Um, I need to tell you, I have been watching Dr. Death on, I think it's Peacock. I've been watching too because you harassed me in the group chat and you were like, Lindsay, watch season one of Dr. Death. So it's not what I thought it was. I keep thinking of, cause this is based on a true story, right?

So I was thinking of The Good Nurse, and we talked about that years ago, whenever I read the book that the nurse was intentionally killing people, and he worked at the hospitals that Isaac was supposed to be born at, and the one that he was born at. I thought it was gonna be like that. I thought it was gonna be a doctor that was like intentionally like killing his patients, but no, he just is literally egotistical, full of himself, absolutely. I cannot stand him. You know what really bothers me about Dr. Death? I think his real name is Dr. Dunch in the show.

It is. What really chaps my fucking ass is he's not charming. Like, you know when you think of a narcissist or there are several people that are very charming when you're around them, and so you forget that you hate them, right? Like you forget what they put you through because they're so charming or charismatic. They have all these good qualities.

That's how they got to where they are. Dr. Dunge doesn't have those qualities. He has absolutely no charm, no charisma, no anything about him. So I texted Kristen last night while I was watching it and I was like, I'm not understanding how he got to this point and how people were willing to cover for him and to allow him privileges to operate when he doesn't even have those qualities. Like I there's nothing, there is nothing that draws me to him in any way, shape or form that pisses me off. And I literally could not believe at first, I forget what episode it was.

I wanna say maybe like four, I don't know, don't quote me on this, but there's a scene where he's at dinner with his parents. And- Oh yeah, I saw this, yeah. And his nurse. And the nurse thinks that she's going to dinner with his parents because she's his girlfriend.

And the parents don't realize that she doesn't know about Wendy and the baby. And I'm just like, I don't know if in real life maybe he had character and charisma and, you know, all of those qualities. And he just like wasn't portrayed. Or portrayed, yeah. So because in real life, I feel like you would have to have those in order to have, you know, gotten this far. I wholeheartedly agree with you on all of those points. The one thing I would like to say though,

is I think he got to where he got because he was a manipulator. But not even a charming one, which is crazy. Like I don't- I don't think you have to be charming to be a manipulator. Like I can think of like a person that I was just talking about isn't charming in my opinion at all, but I think this person has the ability

to manipulate, twist, and spin whatever. And I think that at the point that there has been like some form of trust established to some degree that maybe these people were just vulnerable in that way and easily manipulated. And do we think that all the coverups happened because they were afraid of liability or what do you think it was that people were willing to cover for him? Because I hear you, I hear what you're saying that you don't have to necessarily be charming

to be manipulative, but I can't think of it like all the people that I've ever been manipulated by or any situation that I have been the manipulator I feel like there was some sort of like you're saying trust yes trust but also Either they were enamored by me or I was enamored by them or I was There was something that made me They like drew you to that. That charmed me. Yes something that made me. That like drew you to that.

That charmed me, yes. But I don't think that's always the case in every situation. And maybe just like your lived experience, that has been the case. But okay, there was one time in my life that someone established like lower level trust with me over a period of time and then was able, I wasn't like charmed by that person, but then they were able to manipulate me because I had that low level of trust with

them. So I didn't really, I wasn't aware of what actually was going on, if that makes sense. So I think that that might have been the case. But do we think that he was just praying on emotionally vulnerable people? Like is that how he got to that point? Yes and no. I just finished season one, so I'm not going to speak on season two yet. I do want to do an update on season two because Kristen said that it gets even crazier in

season two. And it's a different doctor though. Oh. That's what I was told. That it was a different season two follows a different doctor. Well, that's even more crazy. I, yeah, I think that there had to have been

because just like the situation where the he's getting ready to leave the office and that guy in the blue truck pulls up, I can't remember his name and he like, he has that spasm and the doctor immediately handles it and basically convinces him that he's a good candidate for the surgery. So yeah, I think that that patient was desperate for a solution. So yeah, in a way, he was vulnerable. I also, it was really upsetting for me to watch him take advantage of Jerry.

I mean, that's your best fucking friend. And, you know, he even says in the beginning that there's not, it's not a good idea to operate on people that you know, which aligns with that book that I told you about, The Surgeon, which I thought was gonna be like Dr. Death. And she, the main, which I thought was gonna be like Dr. Def, and she, the main character talks about how like it's, it's like this unspoken, sometimes spoken situation

where you typically don't operate on your friends or people that you know. And so I think that in order to do that, there had to have been some level of trust. But I do think that we as people who rely on experts in a field, whether that be like an accountant, a doctor, there is some level of trust based off of their training and education that when you walk into that office, you automatically feel like, okay, this person's going to be able to give me answers. Right? Yeah. I agree. So I just think maybe that, that played a part in it.

And people who operate the way, just from what I saw on season one, the way that he was operating, I feel like he established enough level of trust around him because he wasn't always bad in all situations. And that helped people like establish some level of trust with him probably. But where was he good though? Because I can't think of a time. No, I'm just saying he couldn't have practiced medicine for that long of a period of time and had foul play in every situation. Right? Oh, okay. I see what you're saying. So right. So there were a few and far between situations where it was okay

When he went to go operate with oh god, what was his name the mentor the one that had the fellowship and He went to pull out the disc or whatever he yeah, almost pulled out the wrong one and then he left the sponge in there It was just like But why the cover-ups was it a lie a bit like they didn't want to be liable? Like, well, I can't, I don't understand that because- I do think it was a liability thing. Let's be honest here. We have both been in situations where, you know,

especially, you know, me, I've been in situations where I've fucked up in life and nobody wants to cover for me. Nobody covers for me on any type of level and they've benefited from me. So I don't understand they don't benefit from him and they're willing to cover for him. So there has to be that. That had to be like the underlying reason for, but like as an attorney, I don't want to get involved in that. You know what I mean? Like that would never be. I would not want to, I would not want to be involved at that at any level, but maybe he was just like a covert narcissist.

Had to be. You know? And then with dealing with somebody with narcissism, you know that what they're doing is wrong, but you're maybe like too afraid or fearful of what might happen if you say something. Yeah. You know? Even though you know it's the right thing to say something, but there is some level of fear

that is instilled there. I'll be interested to see season two. I'll let you guys know, by the time we podcast next, I'll have watched it. So I'm very curious to see the differences between season one and two and the differences in the doctors because I don't think it could get worse than Dr. Dunge.

Whatever, I wonder what happened to him in real life. Well, Kristen claims it gets worse in season two. So I'm going to trust that. I'm going to watch season two, and I will give my thoughts on that. Outside of that, I need to know if you agree with this. I saw something and said you need five daily wins. A physical win, which examples would be walking, running, lifting, swimming, something like that.

A mental win, examples would be reading, lifting, swimming, something like that. A mental win, examples would be reading, writing, creating, learning, and a spiritual win, praying, meditating, studying, growing. So I have mixed feelings on this. I don't know if I have all of those things every day. I don't know that any of us have all of those every day, but I think it's a good goal to try to be mindful of and be like, hey, I need to make sure I'm tuning in on my mental stuff and I need to make sure I'm tuning in on my physical stuff,

my spiritual stuff, whether that be, you're going to rub your crystals or I'm praying to the good Lord, like whatever whether that be, you know, you're going to rub your crystals or I'm praying to the good Lord, like whatever that may be, I think all of those things are super important. And I think a lot of times when we're not tapping into all of those aspects of our lives, that's why we feel so just depleted. I will say that just in terms of some of these things, like one of one of the common questions that I've been getting is like, with all your kids, how do you have time to read?

Like it's just like anything else, right? Like how do you make time to scroll on your phone? If you can make time to scroll on your phone, you can make time to read. If you can, you know, watch a show, you can have time to read stuff like that, right? But I will say that a lot, like having five daily wins on a regular consistent basis can be really, really tough. So unless you're, you're choosing to maybe wake up 30 minutes earlier, go to bed 30 minutes later, sometimes you

have to make those sacrifices in order to fit in those wins. And I will say that like the last week, so I normally average like two days per book that I've been reading this month. I did not get any reading in for like four or five days and I did feel depleted. Like it was weird because I had cut out a lot of scrolling in my phone, started reading and then I didn't, I wasn't reading and I felt like, oh my, like I just, I was like craving it in a way. It was really, it's very, like you felt like something something a healthy habit that you created was now missing. Yes. And so it's one of those things where it's like, okay, if I definitely if I know

that I'm going to have a busy day and I want to get some of these things in, um, you know, Lincoln had mentioned to me, you said you were going to walk like when the weather gets a little bit warmer, I want to walk like I may very well have to get up a little bit earlier or go to bed a little bit later to fit those in, but it's all about it comes down to if you wanted to you would and you'll make the time. It's sacrifice for the greater good. Right. Okay.

We have a listener question that I want to get to this woman says my husband suddenly decided that he wanted to divorce when our son was six months old, almost six months ago, and we separated. The last few months, he has been saying he regrets his decision and wants to come back when the time is right within a couple of months. He started taking me on dates and helping me with things around the house. Things have been good, but today I went through his phone and he's been screwing some old woman 10 years older than him where he used to work. And she works and me. I know for a fact it started before we separated and that she was pushing him to leave me the entire time I was postpartum with our baby. He went to an NFL game with her on Christmas

Eve when I begged him to be here with his son. I have receipts. I haven't said anything yet because I want to plan I want to plan this attack. I don't want to bully but I want her to know she's being watched and be shaking in her boots before I approach him. Any ideas? Number one goes back to what you just said. If you wanted to, you will. Or if he wanted to, he would.

I think that the writing is on the wall in this situation. If he was willing to cheat on you postpartum, to me, not that we should be comparing like cheating situations or scenarios, but to cheat on a woman after just having a baby, that to me is just so foul. And it almost sounds like he's still being sneaky and then doing all of this stuff with his wife, like on his spare time that he has available and then using the excuse of, oh, in a couple months. So it gives him time to continue doing what he's doing. Oh yeah, right now this is him having his cake

and eating it too. He's keeping his wife on the back burner as a backup plan, mainly because he probably doesn't know what the stability of this new supply type of relationship is. I also think, she said she doesn't want to bully, but she wants her to know she's being watched and shaking her boots before I approach it. Here's the thing, just leave silently, be quiet about it, get your ducks in a row, and one day when he comes home, you're not going to be there. None of your stuff is going to be there. Your stuff's not going to be there.

Sorry, your stuff's not going to be there. Your son's stuff's not going to be there. You are going to be gone and he's not going to know where you are. So I don't give a fuck if you get an apartment down the street or you're living with your parents or you moved out of the state. You're going to quietly leave and you're not going to say a you are. So I don't give a fuck if you get an apartment down the street or you're living with your parents or you moved out of the state, you're going to quietly leave. And you're not going to say a fucking word. And because no revenge is going to make either of them feel the pain that you've already felt the longing, the desire of your family to make it work, the pain that you felt of him cheating on you, any of these things,

they'll never be able to feel it. And truly, if they do, they're not going to care until it happens to them. So that all being said, you don't have to bully anybody. You just get up and leave quietly. And just to add to that, if this woman, if she was encouraging him to do all of this, and she was aware of his life situation, then bullying her into anything, she's not gonna care, cause she already didn't care. At the end of the day, the loyalty, your husband should have been more loyal to you. She doesn't owe you any loyalty because she has no ties to you.

So your husband is at fault here and I hate other people being put in situations where it's like, oh, I want to have revenge against her because she took my husband or whatever. Where you can be mad it the responsibility still lies with the person who is connected to you. Yeah, I mean, obviously, you're going to have your feelings towards the other woman because I can't sit here and say that I didn't. other woman, because I can't sit here and say that I didn't. You can be mad. But ultimately, yeah, the anger, I never really took it out on her because it was always him. Agreed.

Where where applicable, obviously, every situation is slightly different. But yeah, I would agree. I mean, she's not the one that owed you any time. Yeah, once once a woman finds out, that's the tricky part because I've also been in that situation, right? Where like, I'm attacked because she came first. Well, I didn't fucking know that she was still around. I'm already heavily invested. You know what I'm saying?

And so this other woman is already invested, despite what she, whether she knew or didn't know, she's already invested. So there's no amount of what you're doing that's going to change that or make her stop because her feelings are so invested. And I think that it takes a very, an anomaly of a woman to be that invested and stop messing with him. You know what I mean?

Like not many women that are already invested is going to stop. No, I agree. I agree wholeheartedly and on that note, foul play. When I was 15, I met a guy on the internet, do not recommend and he was 18 and in the military. He was visiting my state for the weekend to visit a friend and we decided to meet up at his hotel room to have sex. I was a virgin and really wanted to get it over with.

My friend drives me and she gets out of the car, takes a photo of his face and says, this is in case you kill her. Wow, that's a ride or die friend. We love her. Then we go upstairs. I start giving him the Glock Glock 3000 and he finishes. Me being a virgin, I asked if he could still have sex

and he was like, oh yeah, for sure. I went and got a condom and we tried but never was there a limper penis in all the land. This is the kicker. After we were laying there talking, he tells me he grew up on a farm and him and his father used to kill the pigs for meat and then stick their hands in the carcass and play with them like puppets. Moral of the story, don't meet up with strange men from the internet.

Okay, I don't really want to be giving any type of like advice, but I'm gonna give advice. I would not, even if I was like longing to lose my virginity, which that was never the case, I truly was afraid and just, I don't know, I just did not have any interest in doing that until I knew I was in a situation with somebody that I was going to marry. Not everybody's cup of tea, but that was me. I would just strongly advise maybe not losing your virginity to somebody that you don't know, don't even know what he looks like and met on the internet. I think that that's just not a good idea. Also, unexperienced sexually, you know, given him the, what did you call it, block

clock 3000. Yes, ma'am. Until completion, probably also not the move and probably why you were dealing with a little limpy. And then also he's a freaking weirdo. So I understand like this didn't happen to me, but I could understand why she wanted to get over with one. She was really young. She was 15. I lost my virginity when I was 14. I had just turned 14 or I was just about to turn 14.

Very young, didn't know any, she probably didn't maybe want the strings attached and wanted to experience this, get it, understood. Probably also why she went down on him until completion because she didn't realize. But maybe she didn't want like strings attached to the person that she lost with the teacher. Oh, I See what you're saying. Okay, so she was getting any experience, but no strings attached kind of thing Okay. Yeah, and I mean there's some people out there that can totally do that and I'm not judging Anybody out there that's doing it not my cup of tea, but if it's yours, you know, not yeah, I mean whatever

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