Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - We Thought You Might Also Like... Barely Famous

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

BARELY FAMOUS! In this milestone birthday episode, Kail sits down with her son Elliott as he turns 16 for an honest, thoughtful conversation about growing up and stepping into a new phase of life.They talk about responsibility, independence, and the pressures that start to feel very real at this age, along with navigating identity, boundaries, and self-confidence. The episode explores the parent-teen dynamic from both perspectives, touching on what’s changed, what hasn’t, and what it’s like watching childhood slowly turn into adulthood.It’s reflective, grounded, and filled with moments that highlight just how fast time really moves. If you have been with us from the beginning we couldn't thank you enough! This one's for you!For more of Elliott follow him hereFor full Barely Famous video episodes head to patreon.com/kaillowrySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is fun. Welcome to the shit show. Things are going to get weird. It's your fave villain, Kail Lauer. And you're listening to Barely Famous. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Elionte.

Happy birthday to you. How does it feel to be 16? kind of crazy. Like. Your uncle. Did I just get called an unc? Uh-huh. Already? The funcle, if you will. The gunkle, the gay uncle.

I have to tell you that unrelated to your birthday. My mom's older brother, super gay, right? Really? Best fucking gifts ever. When I was a kid, he got me the coolest pink fuzzy blanket as a gift. I got Britney Spears' first perfume, curious. Like, I'm talking the best gifts came from my gunkle. My gunkles, because they were married.

Just saying. That's cool. Yeah. So does it actually feel different than being 15 though? Or do you think once you're able to drive without anyone in the car, then it will feel different? I don't know. I think that over time it's that like buildup. And then when the day comes, it's going to be like, wow.

Like, what next? Like, I'm going to be driving. I cannot be physically present in the car. She's scared of me driving. I'm not getting in the car. She is. Like 20. No, no, because if y'all both go to the private school, he's going to have to drive you.

Everybody's getting in the car with Eliante. Oh my God. Y'all are going to drive me crazy to the point where, like, I'm going to get oversimilar and I'm going to pull over on the highway. Like, seriously. Who's going to get you oversimulated? All of them, especially Lux and Creed. I won't let Lux and Creed drive with you.

I think that would be too much of a distraction. Only one out of time. No, not even. Unless it's an emergency, I would prefer to keep the distractions at a minimum. and I think the only sibling that I would let you drive with right now would be Lincoln. For you, Lincoln, how does it feel to have a 16-year-old brother? I feel young because he's so old, you know? Right.

Since he's an unk, you're basically the nephew. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, has he sort of set the tone for what the expectations are of you when you turn 16? No. It's so funny because you all are polar opposites.

Yeah. And it's just so funny, like, I feel like you're equally responsible, but your personalities are so freaking different that, like, but like, I trust you equally. I mean, he's like, he's sitting here with like, someone like, he wants like, looks so great. Well, I'm not a freaking go. I was saying like this and I'm just like, you're wearing for the podcast. And Lincoln's like, yeah. What does it feel like when you think about the difference?

Well, I guess you don't really know the difference, but when you hear stories about me being 16 versus you being 16 Like what? Different. Very different. Lincoln, I didn't ask you. Okay? There's a year and like one year

in a verse until you got pregnant. You had me Mike from on. This is what you get for having them on. Anyway. No, we need it. We love comments from the peanut gallery. Even though I say that I don't like, it's funny.

It is. She says all the time we keep her humble. That's a fact. So when you hear stories about the things that I was doing at your age versus where you're at, how do you feel? What do you think? Or do you not really think about it? I don't know. It's just, it's in the back of my mind, you know, but, you know, I think, I don't know. I'm like proud to be doing better than you, you know. Because, you know, I'm not smoking weed and, you know, going around, you know.

riding dirty into Kwan's minivan. Yeah, I'm I'm learning other languages and acting, you know. Oh. Much better. You know, but you know, it's so fascinating for me because I don't, I literally just said this before you got in. Like I don't know how that has been possible to raise you. And obviously, I'm not by myself.

Like your dad raises you over at his house and like just thinking about how good of a human you are versus what I was doing. Like it almost seems impossible for someone like you to come from someone like us. Because your dad was doing the same shit I was doing. You know what I mean? So it's not like he's, people can't be like, oh, well, it was definitely Joe. It's like, no. And he also wasn't like going boy after boy after boys.

This is going to be a long night. Imagine when you had to do a whole hour with him. Lincoln's episode might be postponed until the day he turned 16. Oh, Lincoln. Might want to be on your meds during that episode. I'm on my meds now and they're not working. Yeah. What are you looking forward to, like what are you most looking forward to this year?

I think a lot of change will be happening this year with driving, making decisions about school, thinking about college too. Have you thought about colleges? Yeah. Have you thought about the fact that you would be living on your own, like in another place? Like, does that scare you at all? Are you kind of, like, ready for it? No, I'm not ready for it.

Because, I mean, like. I wonder what the dynamic will be between you and Lincoln at that time, because I would imagine that, like... Mom's going to be so messy. I'll never clean it. Like... He already doesn't, so... Exactly.

Nothing new. Oh, my God. It's so funny because Elliot's so clean, and Lincoln is not dirty, but he's like me. I'm messy. I'm not, like, like, I'm clean. Like, things are saying at, clean, but they're messy. Lincoln definitely takes after me in that.

How do you think you'll handle him going off to college? Oh, I mean, I have more space, less drama. You see this, yeah. Such a hater until he needs something. Like, when me, Lox and Creed are running around and we're fighting, I don't have to be in there, like, just stop it, you know? Like, we could just... Oh, so you're a fun killer.

Huh? Are you a fun killer? No. You're the oldest. you're the fun killer. You don't want them running around in your space? Actually, yeah. Yeah, actually.

Never mind. I definitely am. You're the fun killer. Sure. Okay. That's okay. When it comes to the invading my personal space and coming to my room and, yeah. That's fair.

What do you think has changed the most between 15 and 16 besides obviously the age? Like, do you feel like there were any, like, big changes in 15 or before you turn 16? Yeah, the responsibility, I think, the realization hitting the building up to that moment where I actually am 16, you know, it's kind of, you know, it's a lot to think about. Well, I think the other day you were starting to feel like real stress and all stress is real. The real stress that comes with like managing time and your tasks and your responsibilities is like you have your responsibilities at your dads, which I don't know what they all. are you have responsibilities at my house which are like your cat making sure your laundry is done you know things like that and then you are also stressed about like okay you have drama club ASL club your homework and so a lot of those things are about time management and trying to work

through them and deciding what's best for you and I think that can be really challenging during this time because freshman year I think is a little bit more flexible and now you're 16 during your sophomore year and you're trying to like really find a balance because because you're the one that has to do the lesson plans for ASL club, right? Yeah. Yeah. Nobody helps me with that. And then you also want to balance a social life and time with your family and then time to yourself, right? I think that's like a huge challenge for, you know, where you're at, right? Which is almost impossible. I mean.

Well, imagine if you had to go to work on top of all that. I couldn't at all. I'd have to quit Drama Club, honestly. That would be the only way. Do you really think that? Like, that's how you feel? Yeah. Okay. Be the only way. Because how, because there's no hours between getting home from drama club and getting ready, like, situating myself also balancing a job. Like, there's no way to manage time there.

Like, there's no time to do that. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, like, I mean, even social media is hard because by the time I'm either done with my homework or. you know figuring out my life figuring out the next day figuring out like whatever um having that time to myself or to my family by that time i don't even think about filming a video right and for a long time that was like you were making money on there yeah so and then you become burnout and you don't want to make the content and i think that's fair i think there's well well sometimes it's not that i don't

want to. It's also that well, it is the burnout, but it's also that I don't have the time for it. I mean, like, and I get lazy with it, you know what I mean? Yeah, because if you have to make sacrifices, social media is going to be the first one. Right. I mean, at least that's the way I see it. It's like, everything else is a

priority. You don't have to do social media if you don't want to. Have you, Lincoln noticed in your brother, like, the stresses that he's under being in high school, like all of his responsibilities or is that something that you really haven't paid attention to too much? I haven't even paid attention like at all. Oh, okay. Like at all.

Okay, no problem. What's something about you that hasn't changed at all? Being gay. I was literally thinking that. Oh, my God. Did you guys ever give me a minute? Like, we're looking for real. I saw that question on the list and I was like, that's my answer.

Oh, my God. It's like the only thing. I mean, what do you think you, how do you think, you've grown, like, what is the biggest way that you've grown? You've seen the most amount of growth up until this point. I'd say passion. For what? ASL and acting. More passion or less? More. Okay. I like that. Do you have anything that you would like to say to your dear brother for his 16th birthday? I hope it treats you well. Um, I have a great time being unc. Unk. Thanks. Peace out, dude. How do you feel like you know yourself better now than you did a few years ago?

Well, I think being gay has a lot to do with it. Really? Yeah, because, I mean, that is a big part of who I am, you know? Right. Or at least a decent part of who I am. So I think coming to realization, becoming comfortable with it. I don't want to make this whole episode about you being gay, but do you think that, you ever went through a period of time or like a phase where you were like, I don't want to be gay and like I don't want to accept this? Or did you always like you just knew and you don't care and you're accepting it and learning?

Oh, I've always accepted it. But if I had the choice, I'd choose to be straight. You would. Why? Why is that? Well, for one, actually there's only one answer. There's being gay comes with a struggle. Like that's not. like yes it's like manageable like I'm okay with it like I'm happy right but you know it's much harder because that makes me a minority you know I mean there's more adversity you think versus being straight and also um when it comes to like making friends for example like it's different than my childhood when I didn't realize it yet. You know what I mean? Nobody was like, nobody was worried about a sexuality at that time versus now you think

that it's more challenging. Yeah. Okay. But do you feel like where you're at in life right now, you do have a core group of friends that don't care that you're gay? Yeah. Good. I'm glad.

What does being yourself and accepting the fact that you're gay mean to you right now? I think it builds a lot of confidence knowing when I first realized I'm gay and, you know, like building up to coming out, you don't have that confidence until like, you know, like it's building up, but then like in between you don't really have that confidence, you know, like you feel like you're alone in that situation. And, you know, obviously I knew I knew I had people that I'm able to go to, but not who would understand. at the level that, you know, like experience-wise. Right. You know what I mean? No, yeah, I do. I think it would have been helpful if you had a gay male as someone that was in your inner circle that would have maybe helped a little bit.

Yeah. But obviously, I don't really know. Like, we don't have gay men in our circle too often. More gay women, I would say. Yeah. Has it been challenging for you to figure out who Elliott is. because of one, I guess, public opinion, but two, because of, you know, the different family dynamics at my house at my house and then the dynamic at your dad's house. Do you feel like it's been challenging? Yes and no. I feel like the public doesn't really affect who I am. Like people have their opinions and I don't, I'm not really affected. I just, you know, because I know who I am. These people don't know me at all. They've never met me.

day ever. I mean, for the most part. Right. So you don't find that super challenging at all? Not really. Good. I'm glad. That actually makes me feel pretty good about, because I know that you've been on social media and stuff. And that's hard as a mom. I think it's like an internal conflict. It's like obviously, I know all your friends are on social media, but you're sort of, your situation's a little different than theirs because they weren't on TV. And so they don't, there may be some opinions, but not quite on the level that you might get it. And so I could see why. that would maybe be challenging for you. But I mean, that's good to know that it doesn't affect you. Yeah. I mean, I don't really, I don't talk about it with anyone, like that I'm close with usually.

Like, I don't. You don't talk about, like, comments and stuff like that? No, like, I don't really talk about being in the public eye in general to, like, friends or anything. Right, right, right. I think maybe when I was when I was younger, it was different because I didn't understand. understand completely the situation that I was in, you know. Mm-hmm. But now I don't, I don't really, it doesn't really affect me. When you are making decisions, how much weight does public opinion hold for you?

Like, I remember the other day I had told you that I have a surprise for you on Sunday and you said that you didn't want that on Instagram. And I completely respect that and understand. So like, I guess how do you decide what you're willing to put out there and what you're not? I think it's just a matter of personal information. Also, you know, like, for example, like, I wouldn't want to post pictures or videos of, like, getting my new house, like, getting a house or apartment or whatever, because that stuff is easily found. And even if I don't post it, I know there's a possibility, you know, someone just might so happen to see me exit the house or something. thing. Right. And, um, but there's always the chance that it won't happen also. So if I were to share

that, the chances increase, the chances. Yeah. And I would, I would guess that it's like, it's not just you being a public figure. It's also being gay, right? If people know where you live or like what car you drive or whatever, it's like not just is it Elliott from teen mom, but it's also like you could be subjecting yourself to other dangerous situations. That's fair. Yeah. And I also, yeah, it's just like I don't want people. Like there are things that I'm okay sharing to the public, like my hobbies, what I love to do, what I'm passionate for, vacations I go on.

To me, it's just like a common sense to what I think is. personal on the level where it's not supposed to be shared online and what is okay, you know? Yeah. Yes. I mean, I guess hobbies and passions, I would say is personal to me, but it's not. Like a safety issue. Yes.

Yes. That's what it is. Okay. As your mom and as an adult, I have not really been great with boundary setting and sticking to my boundaries. So even if I come up with something that I'm like, I'm going to do this, I have a hard time sticking to it. It's like the follow through, but you don't, that I'm not.

that I have noticed you do not have those same struggles. You are more rigid in your boundaries. How did you get there? I think it's from, well, from being on TV, I think it's, and from seeing your experience and people around me. I think it's just a matter of learning from that. Like, I see that and I build. my own foundation from that. Can you give me an example? Like I watched you put your relationships online and personally I wouldn't.

Why? Because one, it's not something that I want people to know about and two, if it's told, people will dig deeper and especially if you show someone's face or say a name, day you know it's not hard to find right so okay i mean i feel like that's fair what is the best part of your life right now where you're at i think knowing what i want in life and knowing what i want to do with myself and know what i want um career wise and what i want personally and goals and of that nature so you just kind of decide what you want for yourself and your future and kind of plan accordingly along the way.

Okay. I mean, I feel like that's not all teenagers can do that. Like sometimes that's really challenging for people in high school. And honestly, people in their 20s, too, still don't know what they want. And I think that there's, I don't want to call it controversy, but there is definitely conversation surrounding people having to choose what they want to do for the rest of their life by the age of 18 and then going to college for this. decision that they had to make and sort of didn't have to, they didn't, they weren't able to not

make the decision. And then 10 years later, they find themselves completely unhappy. And I think that that's, that can be really hard for some where other people are more versatile and can kind of switch careers and like do that. But I feel like you've kind of set yourself up to the point where it's like, okay, I want to do this. But if this doesn't work out, I also can do this. And I think that's really cool. And not a lot of people can say that. Do you want to talk about what you want to do for a living? Yeah, sure. I mean, I'm pretty open about it, you know, because it's kind of what I built my social media off of, you know, is, I mean, my first real was an ASL video. Right. And that's one of the biggest things is, one, I'm just like so happy that I've run into it this early.

Because if it wasn't for that and also you not pushing me to join a club, do an extracurricular at school, I wouldn't have really fell in love with ASL and theater. Right. So, and I've come so far from it. Like, it's been years now that I've done ASL. I am practically fluent. I mean, you know, it's very. very exciting and I can't see my life without it. Did you ever think that you would get into ASO?

I think that it was meant to be. I do. Because, I mean, even if it wasn't introduced to me at the time that it was for me to get interested, go on YouTube, watch videos and stuff and teach myself, I think that I think that I would have ran into it another time and was still feeling that same interest and curiosity for it. And you didn't just self-teach. You also take classes.

Yeah. Like after you kind of gained interest in it, you then took classes. Yeah. And I think that teaching myself on YouTube for free was the starting point. You know, like I kind of had to do that in order to start taking classes because just to see if I'm fully interested in it. And, you know, I don't know if you remember, but that summer that I started learning it, like, that's all I would do.

I would just be in my room on my computer watching ASL videos. That's it. But I feel like that's a good productive way to use YouTube. I think so often we just scroll and scroll and scroll and it's just like whatever grabs our attention we might watch for a minute or two and then we just keep it moving. I think that using YouTube to teach yourself something or to be productive, I think is the better way to use it. not saying that I don't scroll on my phone, but...

I mean, we all do it. Yeah, of course. If I'm going to be honest, that I get that crave a lot to want to learn something new. But then it's like, how interested are you? Like, you want to sort of, like, test the waters a little bit before you, like, dive head first. Yeah. But I think that's good, though, right? Like, if you get some kind of, like, interest in something, like, I just went to the planner store yesterday.

And I'm like, before I buy the planner that I built online for five, $500. Let me go get a cheaper one first to see if I can commit to this the way that I have it in my brain, you know? The meds are working. The meds are working. The medicating. Because before I would be like, oh, I need to go balls to the walls and just go order this right now. Get into the class. Do whatever I need to do? Same for law. Like I want to be a lawyer. But like, let me start with one class. And let's start from there. Do you feel like us growing up together sort of propelled you to have tunnel vision? and like commit to your where you see yourself going yeah i think so um and i'm really grateful for that because some people don't know where they're going and don't know what rocks they're going same yeah same yeah and you know some people don't know what they want to do in their life and um maybe are scared to try new things or maybe trying everything scared to end up nowhere, you know?

I think that's a pretty common fear across the board, for sure. What would you say is the hardest part of your life right now? Time management. Okay. Because, you know, I like to do a lot of things. Like, I love, like, doing lots of things. I love junk journaling. I like to read.

I do like to read. And, you know, sometimes I don't always have the time that you do for it. Sometimes you don't, exactly. Sometimes you don't even have the time for it. So I mean, I would love to read more. And, you know, I've been reading The House Made the past two days. A big part of that, the reason why I'm able to is time management. One, it's required in life. But for me to do things that I love to do, I kind of have to because it's never going to get done. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. And I wish I could tell you that you'll have less than. things to do the older you get, but that is not true at all. And I wish that I could tell you, oh, once you get through school, then you'll get a job. Right. That's great. But like the job replaces school and you still have to make time for your family, your friends, yourself, your reading, your journaling, whatever it is that you like want to do with or without kids, with or without a partner, you still have to do all the time management things. So I wish I could tell you it gets easier,

but it does not. Sorry. You're taking driver's ed. You're about to be on the road. Yeah. Is there anything that scares you about driving? Is there anything that you're excited about driving? Mm-hmm. I think, one, the freedom is exciting, you know, and also not being dependent on someone else because either I'm dependent on a ride to school or the bus. And I think that is great.

I think it's something to look forward to. But the one thing I'm nervous about is getting oversimulated on the wheel. I get oversimulated easily. It's hard for me in multitask depending on what it is. Okay. Do you think that, first of all, let me backtrack. What do you mean by more freedom? Because what the fuck do you think you're going to be doing?

Well, not what you were doing at 16. Thank God. So, yeah. No, I think just not having. it's more dependency it's more like being more independent okay so like you asked me about a ride tomorrow to a game and it's like you wouldn't have to ask for a ride because you'd be able to take your car if you had permission to go yeah okay I think that's fair so it's more like not having to like ask me for a ride it's like more like hey can I go to this and you don't need a ride you just want to be able to go

yeah do you feel like you got to have a childhood or do you feel pressures of having to grow up quickly. I would say I had a childhood, but obviously it was different being on TV 24-7, or not 24-7, but most of the time. Yeah. What do you feel like was different from your childhood than other kids your age? No one that I am close to or know of, or at least at my school, like nobody grew up with a camera in their face. Right. It posted online and, you know. Yeah. I think that's what made that's what built my awareness and caution especially in public um because a camera is always on me so you know obviously like watching what I say and do I mean from a very young age I didn't understand that but you know the older you get the more you realize and um

that's what makes us overthinkers honestly that's fair I definitely think that it has exacerbated being an overthinker, more anxiety. I would agree with that. What do you think is something that adults don't understand about teenagers? Maybe that we are human too. And we, well, I think people understand that part. I mean, yes. I don't know.

Sometimes I think that adults expect so much out of teenagers and you're like, they're literally human. Like they're going to fuck up. They're going to miss a homework assignment sometimes. They're going to talk back sometimes. Like, I don't know. Sometimes they think that adults look at teenagers like, what the fuck is he going to do with his life? You know?

And it's like, do you feel like there are so many pressures and expectations on you and on teenagers as a whole? For sure. Yeah. I think it's especially with school. Really? See, I'm not. The school thing is, I'm conflicted about the school thing because the kids are not reading at school. Everybody's on fucking Chromebooks.

Nobody's paying attention. Everyone has ADHD. Everyone's not happy with the teachers. The teachers are overworked and underpaid. I don't feel like we're learning. Like Lincoln came home after that school tour that you guys did at the private school. And he literally looked at me and he said the difference in the curriculum. He said, I feel like I know nothing at my public school.

And there, he recited to me everything he learned. Not everything. But he recited to me so much of the stuff that you learned at that private school. And I was shook because I'm like, what are they even teaching you at public school at this point? You know what I mean? So it's like, on one hand, it's like you're not teaching them what they need to know at school. And then you're sending them home with bullshit-ass homework that does nothing for them. Yeah.

It's not like the education at the school is matching the work that they're sending them home with. It's all basically useless information that we're never going to need in life. So part of me is like you're having these crazy expectations for these kids in school, but it's not doing anything. Like we're still, we're fucking dumber than ever. So my word. What are you most excited? about learning this coming year.

So basically 16 to 17 and beyond. I think learning to drive. Okay. And, you know, getting used to it. I'm excited for the experience, I think. Is there anything you're nervous about in the coming year besides driving, not related to your car, driving, nothing? Just having more responsibility and getting closer to 18.

That's going to come so quick. I know. Like I'm... Yeah. It's almost like I've like mentally skipped over 16 because I'm already like I only have two years left, right? Like, and obviously we'll have a relationship beyond. But it's like once you, if you ultimately decide to go to college, it's like you'll be gone most of the time and you'll only be home for breaks and summers. And then I have to split that small amount of time with your dad.

So it's like such a. weird like the days are long but the years are so short and like I don't even know how we got to 16 let alone 18 is two years away it's insane college is on the horizon what what are your goals in terms of your school so like what are what are some must habs when it comes to picking the schools that you're going to apply to like what are you looking for I am looking for major in interpreting or minor but majors

I think you you kind of gave me this perspective ASL interpreting is a solid choice and acting is not something that's guaranteed and it's also not

something that's going to happen right away it's build up so I think that it would be more important to prioritize ASL and major in ASL and minor in performing arts. Okay. And also I think I would want it to be simultaneous, you know, so I can like go back and forth.

Like if I end up getting a good, like a role, you know, spend some time on that and go back to ASL once it's over. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, I feel like that's more realistic. Because I feel like that you can, like I could do that. And that's, that could work, you know. What's something that you're really proud of yourself for?

Learning ASL on my own, or at least starting on my own. I would argue it's all on your own. Not that you didn't take classes, but it's like you found that interest. You did the work because a lot of people will be so excited and like, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And then they don't follow through. You were like, okay, I like ASL, kind of dabbled in a little bit. And then you fully like immersed yourself in it.

And I think that's really cool. I feel like I dive right right in. Yeah, but I'm just saying like you actually followed through with like the interest, if you understand what I mean. What are you most proud of as a human? As a human. Not like an accolade, right? Like not an interest or something, but like as a person. Maybe the drive to want to make a meaningful change in the world.

You know, like I want to not only do I want to. do ASL. I want it to make a difference in people and I want it to benefit people and maybe change perspectives, build awareness and make a more wholesome community, you know? Your drive to do that? Yeah. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Do you feel like you have learned anything over the last year, like coming into your own, building this confidence, kind of not really giving a fuck what the public has to say, do you feel like you've taken away any lessons from all of that? Or like any, yeah, any takeaways. Yeah, I think that is the lesson is to not care what other people think and less overthinking

about opinions of the public and being, staying true to myself. Right. Mm-hmm. Okay. If you could tell your younger self, one thing, what would it be? So think about little Isaac, not Elliot, because that was fair. new. Little Isaac, what would you say to him? I would say that he is going to find his people. He is going to find what he loves to do and he's going to do great things. Okay. What is your favorite

comfort food? My favorite food is empanadas, specifically my grandmas. That hasn't changed in a long fucking time. Yeah. What is the song that you have on repeat right now? Um, on the topic of turning 16, getting older by Billy Eilish. I don't think I've heard that one. What is your favorite way to like have Elliott time? Like, what do you do in your own time? I play video games occasionally. Um, there's not a lot of time for that right now, obviously, because, you know, busy man. But, um, but, but, I also like to junk journal. I like to read now, you know, somewhat new in the last few months. I like to collect vinals.

Yes, that one. It was there. I like to collect vinals, love to listen to music. I love concerts. Concerts are my favorite thing. Yeah, I do a lot. So, you know. One word to describe being sing.

16. Different. Different. You feel like it's a different milestone than 14 or 15. I would agree. I think 13 is a big one because you're going from, you know, a kid to 13. 13, you turn, you're a teenager. And then 14, 15 is okay. But then 16, you're like, okay, I have to drive. I have to start thinking about colleges. I have to start deciding, like making big decisions. You've got to figure out time management in a different way than, you know, Lincoln, his time management is school and sports. Because nine times out of 10, his friends are at the sports. Yeah. And when you are in high school and classes are changing and you're starting to really decide what your interests are, your interest might not align with the friend group that you had. So I think that it's just very different than like, I don't know, for Lincoln, right? Like time management and things like that. So what is one thing you hope people remember about you?

I would like people to remember my impacts. on people or at least my effort to make it impact, you know, for others, because that's truly what I want to do. Just make a difference. Mm-hmm. What does being six, what does turning 16 mean to you personally? It means that I am growing, changing, becoming a better, better. yourself than I was before.

Do you feel like 18 is as close as it feels to me? Like, do you feel like it's just as close as I feel like it is? Or do you feel like that day might never, like, it feels like it's still far enough away that it, you have time? No. No. No. That's so interesting.

Because I feel like when I was 16, I felt like 18 was still so far away. But I also had a very different dynamic, I feel. So it was like, oh my God, I just need to turn 18 for the. to happen where like he doesn't really have that same you don't have that same like urgency like sense of urgency you can kind of like slow down a little bit I just like can't I was literally getting into so much trouble when I was 16 and 17 like I don't we know we know I was just gonna say we know it's so weird to like look at you in Lincoln and really be like I had a hand in raising you guys and you're both better people than me well that's the success of being apparent though

Do you ever have like conversations about or not even conversations, like thoughts about like anything that you've learned from your dad or from me that you're like, I absolutely do not want to be that way or I do not want to have that habit or I absolutely do not want to do this? Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. You don't have to throw your dad under the bus, but you can throw me under the bus. So what are some of those things?

The reason why I'm asking just for context is like a lot of people will know my story about my mom. And I always say that I could have gone down to. very different paths. Like I could have done the path that I went down, which had its own challenges, or I could have been just like her. And I quickly learned what not to do. So I, instead of, you know, being around alcohol all the time, instead of drinking the alcohol, I ran from it.

So like things like that where it's like I learned what not to do. Yeah. So what are some things that you learned not to do from me? You've helped me a lot with this. And also seeing it from you has helped. I think acting on impulse. when do I do that that's like your cousin

more like your twin paternal paternal twin okay so impulsive impulsivity impulsivity impulsivity impulsivity

in like the things that I do or the things that I say or both or like more what you say oh like I'm impulsive okay yeah fair anything else you can think of um i had another one by forgot it just now thank god i'm just kidding no i could probably think of it but um he's like oh no no give me a second yeah yeah what did you learn not to do from your mother i learned not to be as impulsive okay with what she

says. Okay. I'm surprised that you went with what I say because I feel like I'm less impulsive about the things I say and I'm more impulsive about the things that I do. Does that make sense? Well, I'm thinking like more negatives than neutral because I feel like the things that you do are pretty neutral. Like, you know, like you are very impulsive when it comes to buying stuff. That's what I mean. Like I thought you were going to say you learned not to be impulsive with your purchases. But yeah. What do I just run my mouth or like what? Yeah, with what you say, I definitely think like you're very out of emotion. You like to post a lot of things.

You don't say. Me? Never. Yeah. Like I said, you helped me a lot with that because, you know, all the leaks and stuff from the Pride episode, like you knew I wanted to act on impulse and you wouldn't let me in, you know. And I knew it wasn't the right thing to do.

but it was something so, you know. It felt urgent to you. That's something that I, again, I'll say it again, I wish that I could tell you that that gets better. And I think the only way for that to get better is to literally be aware of it, like knowing that you are that way and kind of trying to talk yourself down. I think therapy is a really good option for that. But like that may never go away. Like I'm on meds and I still am impulsive. You know, like I still am like I'm proceeding with caution a little bit more.

but like I mean it doesn't it's not always linear right like I went on a rant yesterday about Janelle so it's like I on one hand we're like a little impulsive and on another it's like you might have to talk yourself down off a ledge you know what I mean okay it could be worse I thought you were going to say something way worse so I appreciate the the feedback another one is understanding the effects of certain things um for example like vaping, smoking, smoking, drinking, like things you did,

you know. I didn't really drink, but. Well, no, besides drinking. Having me at 16, you know. Like you more so look at like the consequences and long-term effects, right? Like, I made a lot of the same mistakes over and over and over again until I didn't. You obviously grew up with me and watched the outcome,

like the ramifications of me do. that and so is that like more so like what you're trying to say like you watched me make a mistake and then you saw the consequences sort of okay I mean I do feel like that's fair I would agree how do you think that my relationships have impacted you and your decision making when it comes to relationships and I I ask you this now because you're 16 and obviously you've been in a relationship before and there will probably be more in your life how do you think right now It could change. Obviously, when you're 20, when you're 25, you might look at it completely different.

But how do you think that my, you know, your siblings have other dads? How do you think that's impacted your view on relationships? I think it is important to know that being in a relationship, no matter how long it's been, there could possibly be a side of them that you don't know. and you will never know it until the day you die or the day that things hit the fan and you end up splitting up or worse. Do you feel like my relationships have impacted you for better, for worse, in the middle? Mix of both. Okay.

Well, yeah, mix of both. You say trauma. Like, you always, she always says, like, oh, I have trauma. you and I'm like no like for some reason like I just don't feel the like I don't feel trauma from it like being on TV and like I don't feel trauma I feel impact and they're different trauma holds me back but impact makes me stronger so that's the thing who are you you know when you say trauma like you you talk all the time about how you feel like you've traumatized me and my siblings and I feel like it's not trauma to me at least it's more of an impact and I think that there's a real difference

and I think that trauma is what holds you back and impact is what makes you stronger this should be a goal not to cry. I love you so much, you know? I read every single day that I traumatize my kids. She says it all the time and I'm like... Well, I think it's something I worry about. It feels like it'll hurt less if I acknowledge it now and I learn to accept the things that I've done or that, you know, if I did cause trauma. and I do recognize that I might not really know until you guys are full-blown adults.

You might not feel traumatized right now at 16, but you might come back to me at 26 and say, like, just kidding, I'm traumatized. So it's scary as a parent to, you know, and I've talked about it before, but like, you know, you're 16. I'm sure you remember things from your childhood that I don't remember saying or doing. and I'll never, ever, ever, ever forget the TikTok I watched of this woman. And I've talked about it a hundred times. And she says, like, you could take your child to Disney every year and have the best time. But your child is traumatized from the time that you crashed out, the one time you crashed out versus the 10 Disney trips. And they remember this and they don't remember Disney.

And so, like, it's a scary place to be as a parent. Because it's like, for you specifically, like, I grew up with you. And so you being 16 is not just a turning, like a milestone for you. It's a milestone for me. Yeah. But it's still scary because I feel like I had a hand in doing a good job. But we don't really know. Like it just feels like you might come back and be like, I did this despite you, not because of you.

You really like own everything that you've. said, done whatever, and some people can't or won't do that. And that's the line between trauma and impact is what holds you back. And you might remember it for the rest of your life and you will, but it's how you approach it and how you decide to move forward. It's just so like when I think about my own childhood and my mom was, you know, married or like legal marriage or common law marriage seven times that I can remember maybe even more. And I'm like, honestly, that wasn't traumatizing for me. That part of it that I read so often about myself is that like I've traumatized you. I'm traumatizing my kids. This is awful.

This is the people don't like me because I have kids with four men and I'm, you know, I'm dating again. And I don't feel traumatized, but that doesn't mean that you won't be traumatized. That doesn't mean that Lincoln and Lux and Creed and everybody won't be traumatized. And so I, just worry about you guys and I never want something that I do to negatively impact or traumatize or affect you that would that you have to recover from it right because I do think that there are things that you that could happen in your life that you don't necessarily like again impact but I don't want you to have to recover from things that I've done or things that I've said or people that I've dated like I don't want you to have to recover and that's how I look at it with you

So. How do you look at it with me? That you're just figuring it out. You look at me now that way? No. Well, yes. But mostly your 20s. You know, like I count from every.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah. So you've kind of given me grace, you feel like. Well, yeah, I kind of have to. Everyone deserves that grace. So. Do you feel like I give you grace?

Yeah. Were you upset with me yesterday when I told you about your time management? Yeah. You were upset? Yeah, because, well, and it was wrong for me to be upset. No, wasn't it? I mean, all your feelings are valid. You can be, both can be true.

You can be upset with what I'm saying, and what I'm saying can also be true. Yeah. And I think with that situation, And I think we, like, we didn't have the same point of view. So, and we don't share our mind. So that's, you know. Just for context, Elliot, he's in drama club. And if he does not send me the schedule for drama club and it's not on the calendar,

I am operating as if he's not going to drama club. I am much like you. I forget things and I don't fully look at things, you know. And that is why the time management and the calendar. is a necessity at all times for every person in our family. Yes. Yeah. You know, been there with your mom. Yeah, exactly. I'm just like exactly like her. But it is very important to add things to a calendar so that everyone is in the know, especially with a family our size. Like it's very challenging. And Elliot, we, I was getting ready for bed one night. And Elliot comes into my bathroom. And my, my, my, like,

owner's sweet bathroom is is pretty big. And so he's sitting at my vanity in my vanity chair and I'm like leaned up against the counter and he's telling me about permissive parenting and authoritative parenting and things like that. And then he was talking about meeting needs of your children. And he was one of those things was like emotional needs. And I think so often, especially in a family of seven, it can be very difficult with different personalities to know when one of them is struggling with something versus another. And so with that being said, I had told Elliot that, like, a lot of times because he is the most stable, because he's the oldest, and I say the most stable, I use that lightly. Lincoln is very stable. The littles are a little bit harder because they're still trying to find their footing. But, you know, Elliot sort of had the responsibility of maintaining most of his own schedule. But that also comes with, like, I also still have to prioritize his emotional needs. And so we were having that conversation. And I think that, you know, know scheduling time. I don't know how I got on this subject actually, but you came, oh, authoritative parenting and emotional needs and things like that. But in order for us to, for me to meet all the needs, I need to have your schedule. Right. Because I got to know when I can make time. I know that I asked you during this whole episode some lessons that you've learned or like the biggest lesson that you've taken away. I would say as your mom, an outsider looking in, one of the things has been the scheduling, the time management.

And that's true. Because that was not the first time that we've had a scheduling conflict. It was like, and they're little, right? And everybody goes through it. So I'm not, I don't want you to feel like I'm attacking you. But it was just like the last minute. And I do it too. Like I'm guilty of it too.

It's like, I expect everyone to know what's going on in my brain. And so it's like, that's exactly how I operate. You'll come to me and you'll say something to me and I'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't say that to him. I don't say what the, in my head, I'm like, what the fuck is he talking about? Like, you never said that. And you didn't, but you thought you did.

You thought that I knew what was going on based on what you just said. And it's like, I literally have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, I am looking outside looking in. I think the time management and like making sure that you don't make the same mistakes I do in terms of like scheduling and last minute things because I will expect someone to know what I have going on or when plans change. And I look at you and I'm like, when were you going to tell me that that plan changed? Like I've said that to you over the last like a couple weeks. But another thing though is sometimes it sucks because other people are last minute. So then by the time it gets to her, it's extra last minute.

And I think that's not just a you problem. That's an everybody problem. So it's just like trying to like really just focus on what you can control. Just trying to get you into the habit of not doing what I did. Because I mean, I was well into my 20s while I was still doing that and still fucking up. And so just like trying to teach you that now because as you go get older and you're going college, there's not going to be a Rebecca and an Alessandra and a kale and a Krista. There's not going to be that. No one's going to be holding your hand. Like it's not even,

because you were talking about the other day when you were doing your homework and you were talking about certain teachers being more reasonable than others. Like once you get into like the time management piece will follow you for the rest of your life. And I think that part of being a parent is trying to set your kids up for success in that way. And I, that's been really challenging because all of you guys have such different personalities. And I mean, there was a time where I didn't know what the hell was like, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, you know? Oh.

And then somehow out of nowhere, you just like matured. And now I feel like I could tell you something and you'll implement it, like, in a way that's beneficial. Not like one ear and out the other. You know what I mean? Right. But okay. So that's all I have for this episode. Is there anything else you would like to say before we go on being 16, lessons, trials, tribulations, anything?

No. That's it. A lot. Do you want to tell people where to follow you on socials? Isaac L.E.R. on Instagram and you'll find everything else from there. Perfect. Thank you so much for coming on Barely Famous. Happy birthday.

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