Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - What We Learned In 2022

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

CC261: Thank you to the entire Kitty gang for this amazing year of support. We made it! Lindsie went down a weird sexual rabbit hole and might be jumping on the sex toys train. Kail recounts an interesting story regarding butt stuff. For the last episode of the year, the girls share the best things of 2022 for them personally, as well the the worst things. What words they would use to describe 2022, what they want more of in 2023 and to top it off, they read some New Years fails and Foul Plays! Thank you to our sponsors! Factor: Head to GO.FACTOR75.com/coffeeconvos60 and use code coffeeconvos60 to get 60% off your first box

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you? This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship Family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay Good morning everyone Why do you sound like that? I'm so frustrated I'm just like between the whirlwind of sickness in this house and technical difficulties. I don't know which crotch goblin came into my office and took

my Mike speaker and I'm my mic speaker my mic adapter to my computer like it's missing. I don't know if it was the cats I don't know if it was the kids like I'm so frustrated Could you imagine just like seeing your cats like dragging the cord through the house? I find the craziest stuff in their litter boxes. Like I found socks. What? Yes socks do rags Anything that like if there's like a nail on the floor not a nail like a screw or something like from the kids play set I'll find those in the litter boxes. Like it's so weird. It's wait. How are you finding this stuff in the litter boxes? I don't know. They drag it in like you're sifting through this shit

No, it's just like sitting on top like when I when me and me and Isaac go to change the litter boxes It'll be just like sitting on top Okay, this is no offense to anyone who has cats. We all know like generally how I feel about fucking cats Growing up if you ever went into someone's house like back in the day like in the 90s I feel like you immediately knew there was a cat there because litter has such a distinct smell to me That you like know, it's there even if it's not like shitty litter I don't think it's the litter that stinks actually I think it's the piss because I can smell cat piss any fucking where

But like they pee on the litter Yeah, but like pee cat pee is such a distinct foul smell. I can't ever smell the actual litter I think it's like all the cat pee in the litter. Oh my god. Wait, okay So this is another question and then I'll literally fuck off about the cats Do you have an automatic cleaner? No, I did I tried that when we first rescued the kittens But the poop was running at the time because they had just come from the shelter and it the runny poop stuck to the like the rake thing and the automatic the automatic litter box So I was like, I'm not scraping poop off of this rake. Like you got me chopped

No, ma'am like no, that is absolutely Foul so foul a lot of people had sent messages When we started talking about your cats about getting like the automatic cleaner or whatever and I was like, well That's a vibe because who really wants to use a pooper scooper Um, but like how often do you have to do that? I have Isaac scoop it every day And then I change it once a week completely and he changes it once a week So it gets completely changed twice and then scooped every single day

I'm gonna ask this question to every single person if you have cats. What is like the normal? changing routine of the litter because I feel like kills is probably Abnormal and like a super clean situation I Remember my best friend growing up her mom was like kind of crunchy maybe that's like where I learned it from but they had these fucking cats and I would still want to go over there even though like I didn't even like cats whenever I was growing up

but she had to scoop the poop once a week and That might have been why like I hated cats because I was like, you know what that sounds like a terrible job That like I don't want to sign up for my little wiener dog This goes outside takes a dump comes in calls of the day. Wow once a week. That just doesn't feel I Mean, but maybe that works for them. I guess I don't know and then there's like this like rule of thumb allegedly not a vet but To have one more litter box than you have of cats So like we have three so we should even though I only have two litter boxes. Maybe that's why I clean it so much

Technically we should have four litter boxes. That just seems like a lot. Yeah, it's like overkill. So we have Two but we scoop it every single day. I we one of us changes it on Sunday one of us changes on Wednesday or Thursday So to me, it's just overkill to have four. Also. I don't have Locations to put four that's just that's a lot of litter a lot of piss and a lot of shit and you also Is Creed still in diapers? Yes. Okay, and you also have diapers in the house. So like goodbye Outside of that. Hello coffee combos podcast Want to send the happiest new year to all of you guys It has literally been a complete hell of a year

One hell of a fucking year. I thought the year before was like Going to be worse and I had such high hopes going into 2022 I had, you know Methodically sent will these text messages that like we no longer work are gonna be in our entanglement anymore If we didn't like have any Plants outside of the entanglement and like I really set myself up so good for 2022. I Was not gonna be dating anybody I was just gonna be doing my thing and then I had that short little stint with Robbie then the

Stint with Thomas or as you guys know suburban dad 2022 really just turned into a complete shit show But I do have a statistic which is really cool kitty gang added 56 million Listenings and counting in 2022 a fucking man. Yes. Thank you so much. That's so fucking cool Literally could not be more grateful. I Can't believe how much coffee combos has grown over the years and it's always just so crazy to me when

we turn the page to the next year and Continue to have this kind of support. It feels so good We have very much collectively as a team been working the latter part of This year like end of November the past couple of weeks for everything that's coming in the new year 2023 and I can't wait to make more memories Hopefully Kale we get to go on four trips More foul plays, hopefully they're not our foul plays and just want to say thank you guys so much for everything

Yeah, 2022 put me on my ass. So I'm Very very optimistic for 2023. I'm also very I did not know the statistic that you just read So I'm that's super cool and I'm so grateful as Lindsay said Thanks to everyone who listens and follows all of our bullshit and also just I don't know Supports everything that you know, we've done and we've tried to do Hopefully 2023 is great for everybody not just us. I hope all of our listeners have the best 2023 like I hope nobody struggles this year I literally hope that as well But the good news is is that we have the kitty gang

We have not only coffee combos, but are what I like to call our sister podcasts and sister families Um, that we'll get through the bullshit together. So that's that's positive Do can I start with the questions that we have? No, you can't no, I can't we can't do that yet because I have a question for you Oh my god, what? Um, have you ever pegged your partner pegged? What is that? What does that mean? um so

Pegging is when a woman wears a strap on dildo. I've never done that and penetrates her partner anali I know So it's too fucking early for this. No I do I have never well one of my partners No, I've never put on a strap on but um one of my partners You know wanted to do anal when I'm years ago. This was before I ever ever wanted to try it Um, okay And we were in the shower and I said no you do it first

Because at the time like I was very scared and buttholes are really tight. So If anyone hears listening has ever done anal You know, it hurts the first time maybe the first several times So I was very scared and I said no you do it first and he was like, okay So I like held the toy and did it wait so it wasn't it wasn't his dick that was doing it No, and it wasn't a it wasn't like strapped on but I like held it and I like put it in his butt Oh, you put it in his butt. Yeah, I said if you want if you want to put yours in mine You got to see how it feels first. Goodbye

Like is this the point that I hang up? This is the point where you're like, I'm no longer. Um, I'm no longer associating with with kale lowery So wait, have you ever done butt stuff? Um I'm not in depth about stuff. No, I've tried like anal and then I've done like a finger Okay, I've never played with someone's butt Okay, I have never played with someone's butt and frankly if anybody asked me to play their butthole I would be like For those reasons alone

That was my indicator that I'm getting up like no, I'm never playing with someone's butthole. Not a thing I really don't want anybody else playing with my butthole Um Someone has put their finger in my butthole one time before Oh, did you did you like it? No I didn't like it I just pretended like I did because I was like, okay, obviously He wants to be doing this so cool for him. But right like I just don't love that idea. Um, I had buttex one time

And what was your what were your thoughts? What were your what was your traumatized? I'm still okay. This was like You guys are gonna know who it was with when I say how long ago this was. Um This was back when I was like 21 years old and I'm still traumatized at 33 Okay, yeah, it's definitely not for everybody. It's definitely not for everybody. So can you tell me? Would you um ever put on a shop on? Yeah, not well Tell me more I would for a woman not for a man

Okay, this is something that I've actually always wondered if you're with a woman and you are using a strap on like Is that A normal thing and that dynamic or like what are you normally doing? Yeah, well, it can be it just like I think You know some some couples or you know partners will use toys. Some won't um Um, yeah, I think not everyone would wear a strap on like I wouldn't say like every You know sexually fluid person or lesbian or whatever would necessarily wear a strap on

You know what I just found out like not too long ago What it was so interesting to me that it's pretty normal because I was doing some like market research of my own Um, what made you go down this rabbit hole though? What rabbit hole this sexual this sexual rabbit hole? I just needed to know if you ever wore a strap on It felt like something that I wanted to know and I wanted all of the kitty gang to know about it If you did and I wanted to call you out um

But let me tell you about this market research that I did okay And by research I mean just asking my personal friends. It's pretty regular for Couples to use toys in the bedroom. Yeah, I think so. I think that's pretty regular like that would not be regular for me Okay, so I'm not opposed to it. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was gonna say have you like would you okay? But yeah, no, I think it is pretty regular. I got the sex toy advent calendar. So um Wait, what? Yeah, I got this like sex toy advent calendar So every night you open the next day like the day the night and there's a new toy

Wait, where do you get that? I'll send you the link Okay, send me hit me up with that link mommy um Okay, we're gonna get into the questions. Okay. I'm ready. Okay first question single best thing that happened to you in 2022 um single best thing that happened single best thing that happened

to me was The southern t1 a podcast award. Oh, that's awesome. Yep. That's a good one. That's a good one I felt good, you know, like when you feel like you've started business and in that particular situation I feel like there had been so much change from the time that I started it to now I was just like wow like I actually Did something good and I I like surprised myself. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's actually that's awesome. And now we can go for two next year Don't get silly

Just saying I was like I want to double what I did clear the list for Christmas and I was like next year I'm going to double it. So that's just like my mantra lately is like I'll double it next year. I don't know See and that terrifies me like when I said, okay You need to answer the question. But also I need to say when I set goals, I tried to be like super realistic with them Not to like undersell myself But also I'm not trying to like set them so high that they're unobtainable if that makes right, right You want to make something that's achievable? No, that makes sense. Of course

um, okay, so single best thing that happened to me this year, um I would say Completing my house. I finally was able to move into my house that I built. I spent a lot of money time effort tears Um, and just having you know hour what I'm going to call for now. I mean it's the end of 2022 Um, I'm going to call it my forever home, but we don't know for sure um for my kids and I think that was a real Just like knowing I did this I was able to do this and The kids and I moved in seamlessly. I think that was the best thing that happened to me this year

honestly big props to you because I do feel like your move was Rather, I don't want to say non eventful, but like non eventful in comparison to your other moves Yes, even Kristen commended me on staying cool, calm and collected for The entire build like I never got Ups like I never cried about something. I never got mad about something. I never like flipped out or got frustrated like I This whole house and building it. I was Kristen would be like you're remaining Surprisingly calm and I would be like, yeah, I mean that's the there's nothing I can do about it kind of thing Um, and so I I tried to stay calm the whole process and then the the move was pretty seamless. It was it was pretty good

I will say when you move into a house Like my current house It took me a little while to feel Settled here because it wasn't what I was used to or normal Right, but it became my normal Over time and there's like such a great feeling when you just feel like your heart is at ease and you just feel Settled and okay like a piece of mind just knowing that things are like things are okay and they feel

Stable like obviously there's still going to be bumps in the road. There's still going to be life happening all around us but like it feels like a Solid ground almost just like moving into this house and I'm sure for you too Can you believe that like either of us can say that? No, I just I just feel so crazy Kind of interesting. Okay second question most challenging thing that happened this year Me or you I have three that I can think of off the top of my head

um The first one I'm going to say co-parenting over this last year has been extreme hell Very stressful. I think a lot of it has to do with Not just figuring out being outside of that relationship and the dynamic changing but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I never had to really share Jackson before and so

Kind of relinquishing some of the control and ultimately it does boil down to Having some level of control that has been super challenging But I do feel ending the year that I'm in such a better place than where I was whenever I started the year co-parenting so That feels really good obviously the Stuff with my parents

um The trial this year also they're sentencing um and also the changes that are coming in the new year for my family that was a year challenge um Multiple year challenge before that and now our challenges are just going to look different moving into the new year um, and then also being in a relationship that I thought was going to

be super fruitful and Thought my life was heading in one direction and then feel kind of like the rug was pulled out from under me and That's like the worst. I say this all the time like not that death or um experiences that you have it makes it any easier that you can predict it versus it being like a nonpredictable thing

but to me it is I completely like did not predict that what happened was going to happen and so I think because it took me by surprise That it has been super challenging for me to be able to cope with that entire situation Yeah, I was going to say it almost feels more challenging than it would have been because it took you by surprise It's not like something that was like Looming over for a long time or you had an inkling when you started that you know what I mean

So it probably Ended up being more challenging than maybe it could have been for sure. What about you? I definitely think um Making the decision to get on medication for my mental health was a big challenge for me um, but I knew with everything going Everything that happened in the beginning of the year. Um, everything just Again, it just smacked me in the face. Um, put me on my ass and um

I was just having really really really dark thoughts. Um, you know very suicidal things like that And so Natalie, you know, eventually called my doctor and was like this is we got to get her on meds So I think that was the most challenging thing was one recognizing that it was to the point where I needed the meds And then accepting the fact that I would be on them for you know, the foreseeable future. So Um, now I'm so happy that I got on them But you know the time and getting on them and taking the time to balance everything out and then the first meds didn't work It was a really big challenge for me I will say I think that you're in such a better place

mental health wise Now than you were at the beginning of this year And that is so hard when you go through Things that you feel like okay. I know that I need to make the change and I want to help myself But then being in a depressed state not knowing really how to help yourself um Surrendering to the fact that you know, okay I can help myself by getting on this medication

But I'm not sold on being on medication and then you do it and then you go through the challenges of the early phases of being on medication Which you've talked about and then being where you are now I mean it is really like a night and day difference it just felt like it was um Like I felt defeated because once I finally Excuse me. I finally accepted that I would go on meds and I was going to be taking these essential like essentially their drugs taking these new drugs slash medication And then them not working for the first several weeks. It was like this I feel like I'm never going to get better

Like I finally accepted the help and I'm still never going to get better But I'm so glad that I made the change. Um, you know from the first one to the second one And I just hung in there because it was not looking good for me Can you tell me I keep seeing ads pop up and I'm like not familiar with medication world really at all But I keep seeing ads pop up and it's like lexa pro for her Have you seen that? No, I haven't seen that I'll have to do some more digging because I've I've been meaning to ask you about it

And I was like, whoa weird. Is that like a different thing? than Like the normal one that kills on or is this just like targeted ad for women like I had no idea but I saw that I've never heard. Yeah I don't know. Um, okay pick three words to describe This past year You go first. Do you have them in mind? Mm-hmm. Okay. Go you go first

toxic Mm-hmm that has been in every part of my existence of 2022 growth and Good one security

Oh, okay. What why security? um I actually talked about it with my therapist today that That through all of the toxicity that transpired over 2022 I feel like I'm in the best place That I have been in a very long time And I think it's because I am secure in the place that I am at like all the things that

Need to be figured out. I feel like have been figured out and everything that Doesn't have an expiration or is urgent I have become comfortable knowing that it's okay if I don't have answers for those things like I have food on the table and I have a home and I have my family and Jackson All of that stuff is figured out But like I don't have to figure out a relationship tomorrow or today Right, you can you have time like you can there's power at the pause There is there is there is that's my favorite saying of 2023. I mean 2022

Three words to describe this year chaotic Challenging every year. Yeah This one more than others though So chaotic challenging and I think the third one I would say is resilient because I have been able to kind of pick up Pick myself up off the floor Um, you know a lot of different aspects this year. Um, you know, I I also had the lawsuit which was more of a A pain in the ass than anything

um, you know and just dealing with you know baby daddies essentially challenging me for a lack of better words, um and just the dynamic with you know The ops, you know, my baby dad's befriending the ops has been it was very challenging I cannot I cannot I'm serious. It really affected our co-parenting it affected our dynamic as co-parents like it was just like It didn't need to happen. It should have never happened. So, um

And I would say I was resilient all year. I made it happen. I adapted. I I moved forward. I I pushed through so I mean I'm giving myself problems for that I think that's growth too though, right like Yeah through the struggle you grow and um I feel like what I choose all of the things that have happened Over time absolutely not. Sorry if you guys hear that. That's my dishwasher. Um

through All of the bad stuff I would not choose All of that to happen. It's not like I'm going to a tree and like cherry picking and being like give me that toxic situation And like picking all of those things. But at the same time, I don't know if I would be where I am today If I didn't have those situations And all of those hard things caused me to grow right. Yeah, I would agree with that. I definitely would agree with that. I I wouldn't wish what I have gone through in 2023 on anyone between the trials the lawsuits the baby daddy drama and

mental health issues. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but everything that I've taken away from it has been helpful for me now and I would hope that will be helpful in the future. Absolutely So with the crazy holiday season well underway ready to eat meal deliver can lend you a helping hand Factor shops preps cooks and delivers to your door so that you can enjoy chef crafted dietitian-approved meals during the holidays Minus all the hassle so plus with 34 meals per week, including gourmet plus you can do keto calorie smart vegan veggie And probably more than 36 weekly add-ons. You'll have plenty of nutritious flavorful options to choose from I love this because I do not have time to cook and sit here and meal plan

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Don't be fooled. You might be next get new episodes of trust me every Wednesday on podcast one spotify apple podcast And anywhere you get your podcasts Okay, biggest thing that you have learned this past year Um, just because my baby daddy's email me Um, even though we are Email only doesn't mean that I need to respond to it Wait, back up back back up. Yeah Are we like all baby daddies

Are on email only? No, joe's not because he's the least problematic Okay, so but the other ones I was You know, I was basically like, oh, it's email only and I in the beginning of the year I took that as If they email me, I have to respond But that's just as toxic as the text messages the phone calls the whatever else And so I got to a place in therapy where it was like if someone is cussing me out via email

One if it's not in you're not Respectfully approaching me with something or you're just bitching it doesn't I don't need to respond just because it's in an email format Like at the end of the day, there is power in the fucking pause. Like when I tell you I related to that statement all year I can't stress that enough. Um, I even would tell kristin like hey mark that as red because I'm not I'm not gonna reply Honey, honey, let me tell you Email did not work for my co-parenting situation If kristin wasn't in producer mode. She could speak on my behalf um

that just Pissed will Campbell off more than actually what I was requesting Okay, yeah, and for some people I think that makes sense like I would be pissed too And he's like, why are we emailing like this like literally doesn't make any sense. But now that we've Got off on this tangent um, I had talked about On the southern tee with kristin about co-parenting and other people being involved

and basically we were talking about like my breakup and Have things gotten better since suburban dad's not in the picture and I needed to ask you this question because I'm interested to know if it's more of like a universal thing with everyone who is co-parenting Do you find it easier to co-parent? when The person you're co-parenting with is not in a relationship and you're not in one. Yes

Yes, it's way easier and the way I explained it was that Essentially, you're not having to think of a third party when you're doing this co-parenting and the boundaries that you have in place When you're with a partner Look different and it has nothing to do Sexually, it's just maybe there's like a loosening of boundaries when you're not having to think of another person I have a situation where the person is just nasty to me Because he thinks those are boundaries like but there's a difference between boundaries and just being a fucking asshole

Um, and I don't know if it's intentional so that you know, I don't talk to the partner I don't know if it's intentional because he feels that's the only way that he'll keep his actual boundaries like the actual boundaries um And you know, I think he thinks of her more than he should in terms of our co-parenting Um, just because you don't have to be a fucking you don't have to be an asshole like I I don't want to sleep with you Um, good. It's way harder. Goodbye. I'm being honest. You're asking. I'm being honest I'm just saying we're gonna get cussed out in the new year like

Literally you've signed us up to get cussed out um The biggest thing that I've learned this year and it's going to be probably mind blowing and the fact that I just learned this in 2022 is also an alarming fact um Change is okay Change is okay Yeah, evolving is okay

I think that I get so stuck or in the past have been so stuck in It's supposed to be this way and if it veers just a little bit from that way I can't cope But i'm just kind of accepting things at this point for what they are for face value and knowing that That we're all human. We're all evolving. Um, hopefully we are and all growing and Change is gonna happen and That's okay, and I can adjust right. That's a good one. I agree. What do you want to do more of in 2023?

I want to This isn't gonna sound so corny, but it's been working for me the last couple weeks um I want to be nicer to myself Um, because these last couple weeks of this year, I've been really nice to myself and it's like it's okay I'm giving myself grace essentially um and I feel like by

Doing that even my internal model monologue like talking to myself I'm being way nicer to myself and I I actually think it's working in terms of like You speak things into existence and so I want more of that in 2023 Um, not just for me, but for people around me like I want them to be nicer to themselves I want us to be happy. I think It's true when they say like your your 30s really are better than your 20s because even though my first year was Shit, I give a fuck less about other what other people are doing what other people are thinking What other people are saying and I'm being nicer to myself and at the end of the day

I have to live with myself more than anybody else. So um, I want more of that. I want more like um, you know positive affirmations being nice to each other being nice to ourselves like just really taking care of that I can agree with every single part of everything that you just said um I feel like Being nicer to yourself Breeds a more positive environment because the way that you're looking at things Is positive. Mm-hmm when you're ugly to yourself and

You're just being negative to yourself all the time. Your existence is likely going to be negative um That is that is also Something that I want to do more of it took almost the entire 2022 for me to Work out all of my let's call them business ventures not going to get into all of them, but It took pretty much all year for me to get to the place that I am now

And I feel at such a place of peace with like the organization and going into the new year knowing that I can focus on Jackson myself and my work and Really invest my time in things that I want to invest my time in to make myself happy instead of investing my time in things That are stressing me out. Right. I agree. Um It's just so weird like at the end of the year. We're like reflecting on all this like are we adults or what are we? What do you want to do less of in 2023 less of in 2023, um, I want to apologize less um, I feel like everything is like

Hey, I'm sorry. I can't make it. No, I'm not sorry life popped up Hey, like this morning. I had a cancel. I was supposed to go on a walk with bone and I was like listen I am exhausted please been sick and I don't need to explain myself if she's my friend. She's gonna understand. Hey, you can't make it That's it. Um I'm I'm not Sorry that life happens. You know what I mean? Oh, I totally agree with that and you know what that's a really good a good plan because I feel like a lot of times I was talking to one of my girlfriends about this the other night that

You're real friends are going to understand why you can't do something People who get upset about that kind of stuff Then they need to figure their stuff out because if they're not coming from a place of understanding You probably don't need to be around them anyway. And when you have kids and you have life obligations and you're tired and Possibly stressed or you just really don't feel like doing it anymore after you committed to it. Um It's okay, and it's okay to be honest about that. Right. I agree with you. I definitely agree with that what I want to do less of in 2023 is

Spending my time and giving my time to areas that are not fruitful Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So just like being intentional and maybe cautious a little bit about where where you're going to give your time And what you're going to spend your time doing? Absolutely Absolutely. Um What are you looking forward to? Um for coffee combos in 2023? Well, right in the beginning of the year we have a trip Um

To la and I'm not going to say what it's for just yet, but I'm very very excited and optimistic about what Is in store for us while we're there I'm also excited about that for a couple of reasons one. I get to see your face in person. Yes to um I don't love la but like I also don't hate it. I have like a love hate with Los Angeles um, I think it's a great Little vibe for a couple of days and then you get to come home and I I love in and out and

Like doing all the la things. So I'm excited about that. I'm excited for hopefully four Trips that we get to be together throughout the year that makes me excited um, I generally Or genuinely love creating content, um, I know that kill like By the time we're done with those trips. You're like Lindsay literally fuck not just halfway off

But like the whole way Fuck all the way off But like I'm so excited about it because we have plans to like do so many things and like Tick-tock you're not going to slow us down like we're coming for you. Yes. Immediately. Yes I agree with that But what was our word for last year? I think mine was health and I think yours was health too. I think yeah It was both health. Yeah, I'm wearing this year. You have it already. Yeah What is it peace?

Ah, that's a good one. That's a good one That's a good one. I feel like that's kind of yours Yeah, and I you know what I might have to take it like that's really piece of mind piece of home piece of all things like I love that. I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna steal it um I would love to know what everybody else's words are as well. I love hearing other people's words for the year um, okay Who is on your prank list for 2023? I first of all, I'm not telling you guys because I feel like that ruins the surprise

um, but I do have two Two line-ups of pranks For 2023. I need to prank my kids in real life. And then if we're talking like podcast pranks um Well, let me not I can't say who I would prank on the podcast. So I have I have two very good ones that people would absolutely Love these and also, um, just call me ashtray and kutcher. Okay Um, we have a couple of new year's fails and I want to get into them. All right, let's do it one

I was on the hunt for my ex so we could leave together per my mastermind plan I walked in on him getting a bj from some random girl in the bathroom cue full public meltdown Wait, do we know the person that wrote in I you took the words right out of my fucking mouth You just took right out of my head right out of my fucking We're going to hell Fuck Wait, do we know did they write this in they had to oh they had to oh, okay. We know someone that this happened to um

First of all if he's getting a bj from some random girl in the bathroom You need to leave him would said random girl um Because absolutely not. Yeah, just leave him like at that point I would like literally walk out and just leave him with the girl Ma'am if he is at the point that he is so brazen that he is not only going to cheat on you But he is going to cheat on you while you guys are at the same place Foul so fucking foul. You're not coming back from that one homeboy No, I think we can move on because we have truly said enough about that situation that again

Cussed out in 2023. Okay apologies if this is tmi I was about six months pregnant and my belly had just popped so I could literally I literally couldn't see anything beneath it New year's eve rolled around and after using the bathroom. I wiped and saw blood I absolutely freaked out and thought I was spotting so I went to the hospital again It's new year's eve 11 p.m. I literally saw fireworks from the hospital bed. Well, it turned out I cut myself shaving my hua I couldn't feel any pain from it as it was very minor, but also couldn't see the cut either The nurses were nice and reassuring, but I was beyond embarrassed. I definitely I feel like down there is a bleed They're the your vagina is a bleeder like your head like it just never stops

And so it could be like the littlest nick and you're just gushing blood wait. I have something kind of funny to say um It's about this but like not about this so when my sister and I started shaving our cats Julie was like well like how y'all are bald like how do y'all All get in there and it's like literally bitch Are you gonna make me pull my lips apart and show you like which way I move the razor to show you and she's like You're gonna cut your lips off. I need tips. So yes I need you to show you don't have to show me yours to show me the razor and the positioning because

That's why I squat down the way I do which I never uploaded pictures. Um And it's just so hard to get in those crevices which crevice like the the I think it's called labia major and labia Minor is that what they're called just like inside the kuchi lip like the outside lip with the inside lip Oh, that's so easy. See that's exactly the part that she was asking me how we got up in there

Yeah, I can't I can't get up in there It's I always leave like a few strays and then they're long as hell and I'm like what the fuck is this Goodbye, isn't that the worst thing ever? It's horrible when when you have done like a great shave job And then you see like one hair. Yeah, and you're like what the fuck I hate when I do it to my legs too Like if I just missed an entire strip of hair and I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Oh, it's the worst But I do want to comment on this person because I feel like that this probably has happened more than this person even realizes yeah, um I didn't get that big with Jackson. So I could still see everything

But I also didn't shave in the shower once I kind of like got that far along in pregnancy I would like lay down in the bath and kind of shave my kitty, but Also, I've been shaving that thing for so long that I feel like I just like know which way to Move to go. Well, I had when I was pregnant with I don't know if it was luxer Creed bone sister just shaved me for me like I was just wide open and she just shaved me see I've heard a lot of people saying that their husbands or significant other like shaved them when they were pregnant that would First of all, will Campbell was not coming near me With a razor absolutely not like cannot be trusted

Um, I've never cut myself down there to know like how bad it would bleed. Oh, it's their bleeders at least mine is I mean, I could see why she went to me. I could see why she went to the to the hospital because they're they can be bleeders Yeah Okay, next All right, number three. I had a huge crush. Oh, this is a long one I had a huge crush on a friend in college. We'll call him Rob I would always confide in my best friend about Rob. We'll call my best friend Jess Jess never met Rob. She just heard about him through me. I was there where this is going

I don't I I'm not you know where this is going. They know each other. Don't they that's what I think Oh, no, I was very anxious when they first met if they got along. They got along fantastically. All right I would still talk to just I would still talk to Jess about Rob on a daily basis because I was too shy to do anything with Rob so Jess was my outlet fast forward to my birthday We had a house party with my college friends both Rob and Jess were there We go to a club and for the majority of it. I couldn't find either Rob or Jess I later found out Jess was very drunk and so took Okay, I later found out Jess was very drunk. So Rob took her home fast forward a month later to NYE

A mutual friend of all of ours is having a new year's party. Everyone decides to go to the clubs I decide I'm not gonna because I didn't like clubbing too much. Rob says he'll stay behind Fantastic. I'm alone time with Rob around new years. Maybe even a new year's kids She didn't even finish the word kiss. Jess says she doesn't feel like going either. What okay, fine Half an hour later everyone but the three of us are gone. We're hanging out watching a movie. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom I come back to find Rob and Jess practically having sex I go to the house owner's room and cry through the count through the countdown

Jess apologized to me days later after realizing I had caught them when I was ignoring her phone calls and stopped hanging out with Both of them I forgave her eventually when she explained that she ended up having a huge cross on Rob since I introduced them and things Just sort of happened on New Year's Eve later next year. They celebrated their first anniversary on not new year's No, my fucking birthday that night. Jess was quote sick. Okay, so Jess is a bad friend. Jess is a horrible friend because the fact that she just Got a crush on Rob who's not even fucking Rob

but like The fact that she just got a crush on him knowing that she was being introduced to this guy because Her friend wanted to date him. That's just a horrible friend. Like that's I don't fuck with Jess um, and also go ahead like this whole entire situation is just weird and Triflin well, so this kind of happened to me before I was talking to this girl and we all went out it was like a bunch of us went out and We had left the bar or whatever and like, you know, I don't drink really so I didn't get drunk or anything

So I'm sitting in my own truck and my the girl that I was talking to her friend was driving Tell me why one of the guy friends that I was with started making up with the girl I was talking to In the car while I'm in the vehicle like I'm in the vehicle with them, but I don't know if they thought I was sleeping I don't know what they thought Um, she denied it. She will deny it to this day, but he won't he doesn't deny it He laughs about it and I'm like, are you still pissed? I mean, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little salty, but like I don't hold it against them Like I'm like whatever I act like I act like it didn't happen

So yeah needless to say I stopped talking to her, but yeah I just I just think situations like that are so trifling and also like I don't know how old these people were when this Jess and Rob situation was going on, but like Me at my age, I'm not being involved in something like this. Oh, I guess they're in college, but like Still, I'm not going to be involved in something like this. No, that's so fucking that is so shady I that's no, I hope she's never been friends with Jessica I I hope so too. And like I would just be petty spaghetti. Let's be honest Okay, you read the next one. Okay. I am female 25 gave birth to my daughter weeks ago. My experience was pretty traumatic

And since it was my first I had no clue what to expect. I'll bless your heart forgive me for the vague details of For privacy, but I'll mention all relevant stuff. I promise when I went into labor I had the most difficult time of my life. I was in pain for hours My mom was with me, but she had to go and my husband was with me the entire time I did something so embarrassing in the delivery room I pooped myself which was unexpected and just I don't know But I was it was embarrassing and although my medical team were very professional about it

My husband couldn't help himself and started laughing about it later and even telling my family about it But they didn't react I didn't find it funny and just just didn't find it funny and neither did I in fact I found it embarrassing and I already told him to stop bringing it up, especially when He started joking about getting me diapers for my oopsies It got really tiring and chipped away From my self-esteem and confidence bless her heart We were with his parents celebrating New Year's Eve together when I excused myself to the bathroom

While I was getting up he made a quick remark and said Oh, yeah, you should just go quickly because we don't want any accident just like the one you have at the hospital You know what I mean while blinking at me His family actually laughed and my brother-in-law common a good one I was astonished and so angry and ashamed I literally just lost it on him yelled at the top of my lungs calling him cruel and sensitive jerk to be using The difficult experience of birthing his child is a joking matter and humiliating me in front of everyone He was shocked staring back at me and said not a word

All were silent and I just stormed off to the bathroom till we left and Till we left and that was when he snapped saying I messed up by talking to him like that in front of his family during dinner I said I couldn't hold my tongue for that long after he kept joking about it embarrassing An embarrassing thing when I told him to stop He said that he was just joking and I went overboard on my reaction And also I should have sucked it up and waited until we got home so that we could address it privately And I could even yell at him as long as I wanted We argued about it after we got home and he kept saying I humiliated him in front of his family during a celebratory evening

By being petty and trying to one-up him. He even said I shouldn't have laughed I should have laughed along not fly off the handle like that. Did I overreact? Wow, I mean I I can speak from toxic kale and I can speak from kale now. I completely understand her I understand her reaction Um in flipping out. I think that could it have been handled better. Yes Um, I mean she could have waited But ultimately when you're to the point where you've asked several times to stop, you know humiliating me that's really that's a really embarrassing thing for a lot of people and

um, I would I probably if it was me, I probably Would have also flipped out. I mean she's 25 for for christ sake, you know, like and she's asked you to stop so to me, I would say at that point he deserved it but also Two wrongs don't make a right and so if she's humiliated and now he's humiliated It doesn't really now. It's like how do you repair this and go back for another dinner or whatever? And so I understand both sides. Um, that's horrible I would I would be so embarrassed as well. The problem is is that it's with his family

So they're obviously gonna Take likely side with him And so now she's the one that has to be humiliated not only for For pooping herself during labor, but then also being humiliated for giving that type of reaction um, I will say Before therapy me would probably have blown up on him in front of everybody as well Now I'm kind of like a simple are you done would have probably suffice

um Also, I feel like It's so disrespectful the mother of your child and you're sitting there, you know talking about how she pooped During labor when I feel like that's a very common thing like I didn't do it And I specifically asked if I did because I wanted to know But I do think it's a rather I'm pretty sure I shit for all of mine. So you did. I think so I believe so. Yeah, I think it's a very

Very common thing. I don't know that I would be embarrassed if anybody knew that I did Because again, I think it's a common thing But at the same time I'm not her um, I had actually talked about yellowstone and situations Kind of like this And how Beth and rip How he handles things with her privately and just like lets her do whatever publicly and I think that is Is the best way to handle things as an adult like someone doesn't do something that you like

Then you can address that privately Not publicly in front of everyone, right? But also we have to remind ourselves that she is only 25. She just had a child Um, whether it's months or years. I mean, we don't know if she's ever been to therapy or anything And knows how to cope with those situations and also this is when we when we talk about like better health and therapy and stuff Like it can help you get through these things before they happen You know what I mean or how to cope with something like this. So Um, I'm giving her a pass on this because she's 25. She just had a kid and she's been humiliated time and time again So I'm going to give her some grace and I don't think that she overreacted but moving forward

Um, if you if you're asking yourself that maybe that is a sign for you that next time you'll address it privately So but I'm again, I'm giving her a pass. Also last thing I want to say on this is that um When someone tells you Not to do something and you say Hey, can you please not do that anymore? That should be enough to another adult to realize that you've tried to address the issue By telling them not to do something because you didn't like it whether they feel it's valid or not It's valid enough for you to ask them to stop

So listen to the warning and don't continue doing what you were doing that upset the person enough to ask you to stop That's I then I try to work on that with my kids at their ages now Because I don't want them to ever be an adult and they're Messing around with someone or joking around and they take things too far over and over again When someone says no or someone says stop the first time that you need to listen it can be about anything like You know physical touch jokes any of that like just respect the people around you if they don't want something they don't want it period Absolutely. Um, okay, let's do foul play Okay

All right. Hey ladies my new year's e-foul play is quick and funny. So my My lady single nye 2011 I went out with my girlfriends and as you can expect it was a mob scene at the bars Didn't stop my girls and I from having a good time and while we were out I had ran into this guy I had gone out with a couple times and he had bought me a couple drinks and asked if I wanted to come back to his Place for a nightcap I hadn't been to his place before but I was comfortable enough as we had gone out a couple times So he got back to his place and he makes me a drink and asked if I want to smoke whatever goes in your 20s

So we're watching jerseyshore and he says to me. Wow. This show is giving me a chub. You want to go upstairs? A chub? Is that is that like another name for a boner? Yeah, like a chub not flaccid, but like Like a semi like haven't you just heard like I have a chub. No I have a chub. What the fuck? Okay, you want to go upstairs? I promptly replied no thanks I'll call a cab and that's how I ended up coming home at 7 a.m On New Year's because I had to wait hours outside of his house for a cab because I was so uncomfortable after that comment

I told him I was on his way on my after that comment I told him it was on his way and he went to bed happy holidays ladies. Thanks for always making me laugh Oh my god So she was like absolutely the fuck not I would have said absolutely the fuck not and continue to sit my ass right in his house until that Until that cab came that sucks. Two things kill has now learned what a chub is Love that for you We need to take a poll to see if anyone else have ever has ever heard the word chub like

I mean, haven't you ever like walked past your husband in the kitchen and been like it's like morning time And they're not flaccid, but like they're not What the fuck is flaccid? You know just like limp just like just like a soft wing and then They're like in the kitchen and you're like just kind of Grab their dick like as you're walking by and you're like, oh like you got on it. You've got a chub You've got a chub

Haven't you heard of it? No, is this is this like slang or is this like a known term? I feel like everybody knows it until now. I realized that everybody doesn't and I also want to say like Why did he get a chub watching Jersey Shore? Kristen, have you heard? I know you're on producer mode, but have you heard the word chub wait Lindsay? You're so right. Why the fuck is he getting a chub on Jersey Shore? That's really weird. Yeah, like what about Jim tan laundry like made him Like start getting hard Jim tan chub Jim Jim tan chub. Also, I would have waited my ass in his place and been like sir

Do not touch me because at this point. I feel like you possibly have a weird fetish Please go watch Jersey Shore somewhere else. I'm going to sit here until the cab picks me up. Thank you I can't I cannot All right, read the next one New Year's Eve had a blast got super wasted had about 10 shots. First of all I'm dead at this point. They only remember sleeping with someone first off. I'm also dead at this point Woke up the next morning to a blood bath. Oh my god We had sex and I got my period all over the mattress In the bed that was not his oh fuck

Oh, this is so bad. I was not attracted to this guy at all in the morning And the morning he asked if we could have sex and if I could mother a baby for him Oh, he was still drunk had to be what the fuck very odd and I got out very quickly I was known as the period chick for about two months Damn, see first of all, we're all adults here. Why are we doing that to girls? Like why are we doing that to women? First of all, you know that women have periods. So Why are you out here talking shit? That's first of all secondly I'm going to talk shit about you because the fact that you had sex with me one time and I don't even remember it

And I have now bled all over a mattress that is also not yours and you are so psychotic That your first thought is will you mother a baby? Like he's yeah, he's the one that should have been known as like Psycho or something for the next two months like psycho dude. Yeah, literally like what the fuck? I'm scared. Like first of all, I was scared for her at the point of 10 shots in the story and then the fact that she faintly remember sleeping with someone Well, you know why she faintly remembers because she lost all memory at like shot four Well, I just I need to know who her friends are because that's a little concerning. I'm I'm scared

Like I'm next I don't know that I would let my friends go homeless. Like I don't know I just want you know, we look out for everybody. It's the the buddy rule Okay, three years ago my friends and I rented a two bedroom condo in ocean city for ny e My husband who was my boyfriend at the time and I got one of the bedrooms with a connecting bathroom before we going before going out we pre-gamed hard like typical 23 year olds and Then went to one of the more touristy bars for that night. We had the time of our lives Myself a little too much when we got back to the condo. I drunk ordered pizza But was so drunk. I passed out in the bed before it got there in the middle of the night. I got up to pee

I distinctly remember that I walked into the bathroom lifted the seat did my business wiped and stumbled back to the bed The following day I woke up and found my boyfriend slash husband was not in bed with me I look around the room and see a giant wad of toilet paper on the floor next to the bathroom My initial thought was he threw up and didn't make it to the bathroom So I'm irritated on top of being hungover I go into the living room to find my guy asleep on the floor when I wake him up to ask what happened in the bedroom. He said you piss on the floor When I oh fuck. I swear to him

I didn't and he recounts watching me get out of bed walk over to the wall next to the bathroom Act like I was lifting a toilet seat and squat against the wall and pee He said the whole time he was calling my name and trying to wake me up But I didn't respond to him He went and woke up one of my friends and together they attempted to clean it up But the condo didn't have cleaning supplies. So they just threw toilet paper on it. I was so mortified I wouldn't even go to breakfast with everyone. It's not a joke a month It's I don't know she meant

Now or not, but it says it's not a joke amongst amongst our friends And I'm happy to say this was the first and last time I drunk peed not in the toilet when I heard the original drunk pee story I died because it made me think of this then Kristen started started asking for ny e Slash day stories to write in I love you girls and the podcast. Okay. This is exactly this is why I think whatever Happens to the brain for people who drunk pee places I don't know if it's a specific thing that they're drinking or if this is just like Something chemically that happens in the brain that causes people to think that they're sitting on toilets when they're really like Up against walls pissing in corners

This is so similar to what happened to my college spring break story with that girl And when I tell you she legitimately thought she was on a toilet. Like I'm not even kidding. It's weird how that happens Like I've I've never really been I've only been drunk like a couple of times and I'm not a drinker So it's I don't know how that happens. Like how does it how do you lift up a toilet seat? That's not existed It's in her brain. Like it it's a Here's what I think happened. I think that when you're in like an altered state you think possibly and I think that this probably is true for like drunk driving is when You think that you're doing something that you're legitimately not or like you think you're doing something well that like you're really not

Right. And so it's probably just from memory that she knew she needed to go to the bathroom And those would be the things that she would do to go to the bathroom in a normal state That's so crazy. But like she's really in a corner on a wall Pissing like I've heard stories of people like literally peeing and like like walking to corners and like peeing in their house drunk That's so crazy. That is so wild to me. And I don't know alcohol will do wild things to you my friend told me the other night that her brother Came to her house one time when they were in college and her apartment peed on her couch cushion

And she was like, no, like you're absolutely going to clean this up And he was like so committed that it was water, but like really like he peed on it. What? Yeah, like it's a real thing that this happens like all the freaking time My mom is and was a bad alcoholic. I mean to the point where she Would black out and I've never I've cleaned up a lot of vomit in my lifetime But I've not cleaned up a lot of pee. My mom never peed her pants. Thank god, Susie Like I'm glad that you held that part together. Thank you for holding that bodily fluid into your inside your body We love that for you

um Thank you guys so much for listening to our bullshit this past year can't wait to celebrate all new things coming In 2023 if you guys have not subscribed to the show make sure you do that by searching the purple podcast app Click subscribe click the fifth star and leave us a written review You can also find us on spotify pretty much any other podcast app that you're listening from and always first at podcast one We hope that you guys have a fantastic new year's and we will talk to you soon. See ya