Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - White Claws and Tampons are for Moms

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

CC305: Jackson and Elijah both struggle to drink water while Kail drinks enough water to make Lindsie pee immediately. After last episode's topic regarding whether or not they will send their kids to college, Kail reads a comment that she both agrees and disagrees with. We learn that maybe those Trade school kids from back in our day had a better plan than most kids in highschool. Kail and Lindsie would also like to know how all those with kids were able to teach them how to get up in the morning by themselves... The morning struggle is real. A Facebook group post sparks conversation about weddings and the issues that arise when divorced parents are involved. The longing for something that you once had resonants with Kail and Lindsie. This week's Foul Play has us concerned for those willing to do ANYTHING for a favorite drink. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthCare/of: Visit TakeCareOf.com and enter code COFFEE50 for 50% off your first orderIQBar: Get 20% off every IQBar product plus free shipping when you text CONVOS to 64-000. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for helpRocket Money: Manage your expenses the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOS

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say, thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels, Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship,

family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Good morning, Coffee Combos podcast. Good morning Kailin. Lowery, you look like I am disgusted by that Macrildle. You're disgusted or I look disgusted? You look kind of disgusted. No, I'm very happy. You're happy with it? That's lovely, I'm happy for you. I think they might have taken the syrup out

of the pancakes though, and that's not the vibe. You know what, I realized that why I don't like the mackerel? Why? Because I don't like the sweet and savory combo together. That's why I love it. I know, I think that's why people love it, but I think that's why I don't love it. Like if I'm going to have bacon, for example, I don't want a super sweet bacon.

Like I want a salty bacon. OK. So I know people who have put brown sugar on their bacon and bacon. OK. Yes. And some people do like the maple bacon or whatever, so it kind of tastes like syrup.

Yeah. Can't do that. I will say I'm not happy with the orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for orange juice. And I know there's this like fake, it's like minute made or whatever, which is what I wanted. But I asked for it with ice and it just, it's horrible, but I'm so thirsty, but I, sorry,

I'm gonna drink it anyway. I always grew up and I don't know if this was just like a lie that someone in my Like collective group of parents told me because I don't know who told me like this group of parents But someone told me one time that if you're like really thirsty to drink Orange juice and I've done that for like my whole life Over I Have no idea or thirsty. I have no idea. It makes me more thirsty. I have no idea.

Either they were trying to make me more thirsty and lying to me, or it's a real thing. There is nothing that actually like quenches my thirst. I think that sounds so tacky, but like for real, the only thing that actually makes me not thirsty anymore is water. Water, yeah. It's super healthy. Actually, when Jackson was a baby, I never did like juice or anything like that. It was always just water and he loved water. He wanted water all the time. Now he comes home from

school. Do you send your kids to school with water bottles every day? Yeah, it's like a requirement. Yeah, so I send water bottle every day. I need to also know if your kids come home with their water bottles every day, because that's a fight. Some do, some don't.

Isaac's very good about bringing his water bottle home, refilling it, making sure it's good to go. Lincoln, hit or miss, Lux, hit or miss. Well, and then Jackson's like, I can just fill it up in the classroom. And I'm like, no, that's been in the school all day long. And he's to come home. I need to wash it and I need to put water at home

and your thing and then send it back. Like I don't trust like what process that you're doing there. Yeah. So he was such a great water drinker. Now it's like pulling teeth to get him to drink enough water and he will only drink water at bedtime now. And he doesn't get up to go to the bathroom? No, he never gets up to go to the bathroom and he drinks.

You know, there's like little mini water bottles. OK, so if you're a mom and your kids are big time wasters, which are all kids, if your kids not going to drink a full water bottle, I learned that like just get the little half water bottles because he will drink every bit of that and I don't feel bad when like there's water bottles sitting around that full.

Yeah, I actually get onto Elijah a lot because Elijah doesn't drink water and I'm like, your pee is dark and you need to drink water. Ew! I literally told him that the other day because I drink a lot of my water intake at night. I don't know why I just do. Like I always wake up thirsty.

I'll drink like 60 ounces in the middle, like throughout the night. It's crazy. So I get up. 60 ounces. Uh-huh. What? Yeah, it's crazy.

That was my stomach growling. I haven't drank 60 ounces of water in the last year. Like I never drink water. Like I drink probably, yeah, 45 to 60 ounces in the night. And then I drink anywhere, depending on the day, I'll drink anywhere from like 30 to 60 to 80 ounces during the day.

Wow. I'm really impressed with you. Do you hear this noise? I actually just had one on the way here, but wait, oh my gosh, so I need to, this is not planned for, but I did read it on the way here. So I was like, I told Kristen I wanted to bring it up so she can tell me to fuck off if I can't bring this up. So last week we talked a lot about college, right?

And there's a lot of feedback on that. And one of the posts by a woman named Megan posted in our Coffee Combos official group. I don't know if it's the page or the group. I really liked the college conversation on today's episode. I'm actually a social worker and have my bachelor's degree. I don't regret going to college for one second as I loved my college experience and loved my job.

However, I can't deny that my student loans stress me out and I don't even have as much as other folks do. I don't blame others for not wanting to go to college, but I think it was a really great experience where I learned things I wouldn't have learned anywhere else. However, college needs to be more accessible and affordable. We need to set up our future generations for success. I love what she said, I love the feedback.

I just want to respectfully disagree because Kristen and I have had these conversations over and over and over again. A bachelor's degree is not enough anymore. So before it used to be, oh, in order to get this job, you need to have a bachelor's degree. Everyone goes to college, get bachelors degrees. Now those same jobs and others are saying, now you need a master's degree. And then on top of that, it's not even what you know, it's who you know. So I know plenty of people who are fully qualified for a job. I have a

girlfriend who has 15 years of teaching experience. She has special ed certifications and she's been a teacher, like I said, for 15 years. She's not getting picked for certain job positions because someone else is closer friends with the superintendent. Or people on the board know other applicants. You know, you get what I'm saying. So it's like, A lot of times, like for example, in some corporate jobs, I have a couple of friends that work in corporate. And a lot of the hiring happens once you're already in the company. So then they, you know, open the hiring for within the company of the people already working there. And it's not open to anyone who would want to work there.

So it's just a wild world out there. It just sucks because I feel like, it's kind of like false promises, right? Like go to college, get this education. And yeah, I do agree with you both with you, what you said last week and what Megan said in her post about having some experiences that you would never get anywhere else other than being in college. But it sucks because it's one of those things where it's not promised

just because you have a degree and now you have student loans. And like I said last week, I know tons of people who aren't even working in their fields because they can't find a job because it's so competitive now. And it's not unless you are a doctor or sometimes not even a lawyer because you can you can be an apprentice and then, you know, read the law and then take the bar on your own. It's just one of those things where it's like a catch 22. So you have to, you have to weigh out the pros and cons. I told Isaac, Isaac wants to do like graphic design

in terms of like web development, game development, stuff like that. And so I was saying to him, you know, if you wanted to design games, like for example, like Fortnite or FIFA or Call of Duty, those types of things. I was like, I'm pretty sure you would need to go, you would need to get a degree. But then Kristen was telling me, she was like, actually, I think a lot of that is like self taught. Learned skill with experience. Yeah. But someone straight out of college is not going to get hired for something like that

Because they don't have that type of experience for that level of development, you know what I mean? so it's not necessarily about the degree at that point and so I Just get frustrated with it because it's like do you take on the stress of student loans? Which I don't know like it you have it varies by person Okay, a couple of things that you said. Number one, you know my desire for a law school. And mine, and Kristen's. All of us.

I have thought and played with the idea of apprenticing under my attorney. Is that, can you do that in Georgia? Like is that one of the states that you can? You can apprentice here, yeah. Damn, maybe I should just move there. So I've thought about doing that. I've also thought about going back to school

to get my masters. Don't really know why. So it kind of sounds silly for me to wanna do it, but I was always taught like education is something that someone can never take away from you and so for those reasons alone, I think that's why and I always never want to feel complacent in my life and so If I've done done one thing and there's something that I can do better, I'm always going to

try to do that. For us, I feel like you have to know your child and I think it would be so good for Jackson and to encourage him when it gets time to go to college for him to go to college. Because you've got to look at, there's a lot of experiences that people that have multiple children in the same household are getting experiences from each other that he's not getting being an only child. So, him kind of like flying the coop and learning how to do all of that on his own in a semi-controlled environment makes me feel better for his future. I did see someone post that we should be encouraging

trade school and I actually really agree with that because I think unless you know at this point with how expensive college is, unless you know what you wanna do when you're going to college, it's very expensive to just play around with it. Well, and I had that conversation with Isaac too. He was like, I don't understand how I would know what I want to do for sure at, you know, 18. And I was like, some don't. I said, some go undecided.

And he's like, but what does that mean? Like, what do you do while you're undecided? And I was like trying to explain to him, like you take your pre-rex, like your English, your math course, your whatever that looks like for you. And he just didn't understand, he didn't understand that. Yeah. Well, I mean, the first two years of school, you can kind of, if, if you know that you want a college degree, you can go for pretty much two years and do all of your pre-rex and then make the decision then. But I would say, you know, you need to start like really thinking about it through that process.

Don't wait until those two years are up and then be like, oh, I think I want to do this because that's what I did. I went for the first two years was a social work major, got credits. I still graduated in four years, but I had to work overtime because I had social work credits that I could not use in the business school. The high school that Isaac is going to, well, if he gets picked because you have to apply, the applications are due November 6th and it's a trade school high school. They have now where like versus when I was in school, maybe the same for you, the trade schools like the trade high schools were not really meant

to prepare you for college, but the ones here now, they are trade schools that also prepare you for college because they understand that you could decide to, you know, take it to the next step, or maybe you don't do what you went to high school with. So anyway, he's going to apply to the school down here. I hope he gets in and it's a trade high school, but it also prepares you for college. So I'm hoping and they're all over Delaware. We didn't have, I had, we had one where I, where I went to high school and that was it. And not a lot of kids, like you weren't a cool kid if you went there. That was it. And not a lot of kids, like you weren't a cool kid if you went there.

You know what? I think that that was very much a thing whenever we were in high school that people, I don't know, like you weren't cool if you were semi-preparing for your life outside of high school. Like if you were taking any type of trade classes like welding or you know whatever. You weren't cool. Like you were taking any type of trade classes like welding or whatever.

You weren't cool. Like you were just not. And it's like, why are we not normalizing as parents that those children are so responsible for putting themselves in a place to where they can use that time wisely and be at a place of success whenever they get out of high school. Like why is that? It's completely normalized here.

Like in Delaware, and I don't know if it's because Delaware overall has like the school choice option for public schools in general. Or if it's because there are so many trade high schools, like there's a ton up north. There's I think one or two down here where I'm at. A ton of kids go there. My hairstylist graduated from one Natalie's oldest son graduated. Like it's very, very normalized

here where like when I was in high school was like, you don't hang out with those kids, you don't talk to those kids, those kids are weird. But like, I look back and I'm like, no, they were the smart ones. They were the smart ones. For sure. Like they, they knew exactly what was going on and how they were preparing and everybody else was the idiots. Right. For sure. Like they knew exactly what was going on and how they were preparing and everybody else was the idiots. Right, because even if they knew they weren't going to college, they were still picking something

that was gonna benefit them in the long run. So shout out to all the people who go to vote tech and technical high schools. I love that for y'all. I wanna tell you guys about Rocket Money because the first time I used it I canceled so many unwanted unused subscriptions but I recently just logged on the other day and I found I don't know how this happened but I guess

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So stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. Rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. That's rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos, rocketmoney.com slash coffee combos. I need to tell you like this is truly how I feel in life. And I know you don't like me to play videos, but like there is no way that I can say this

any better than this person. And I have hooted and fucking hollered for an entire day. I don't like when people are mean to me because I'm meanin'. Your self-esteem and my conscience are about to be goin' through it. They say don't bring a knife to a gun fight with me. It's like bringing bare hands to nuclear war

because you gonna say one or all things to me is gonna be unnecessary and unwarranted and I'm about to cut so deep and pull out every insecurity you have and everyone you have ever had to the point that your therapist is gonna need therapy. Michelle Obama once said, when they go low, we go high. Me personally, when they go low, I take it straight to hell. I don't know what other people learn me.

I take it straight to hell. I take it straight to hell. That's so funny. I'm like, listen, we are officially the petty spaghetti committee over here. No, we had somebody in the kitty gang that sent me a message about kids hygiene. And I just need to know, Jackson's

reached a point of he's doing two things really well. He wakes up whenever I call him on the first time, which is a big thing for us. He's never been that way, but now he gets his butt out of the bed. So I don't know what his dad has done to him over at that other residence, but he is much better. Getting in the shower, still kind of iffy.

He goes and gets in, sits, does that whole process. He's gotten a lot better at brushing his teeth. This mom on here, her name is Ashley from the Kitty gang, she said that she decided that she was not going to allow her child to impact her morning. So basically- What does that mean? So what she said was that she was giving her enough time to get ready, but she was slow as molasses. So what she did was she started waking her up 20 minutes earlier and she gives her kids

their own alarm clocks and their bedroom, and they're responsible for getting themselves up. So their her mornings not impacted. And I'm like, where that is great in theory. I don't know that Jackson would wake up to anybody's voice But my voice or Will's voice and like an alarm clock. I don't know that that's gonna do the job So Isaac got his own alarm clock in the beginning of last year also want to shout out to Joe I picked up Isaac the other day for meet the teacher night and he told me that his dad is

In fact preparing him for back to school in the morning and is making sure that he's getting up in the morning. So I take back what I said the last time and Isaac was like, it's not really working. But I have to say like, I don't, it makes me nervous about the, he has his alarm, but it still makes me nervous because one, he can snooze it. Two, he can just go back to sleep. And where I am in my house, where my bedroom is versus where he is, I can't hear anything. So I don't know. I told him this year, because he has to be to school earlier. And at the same time as Lincoln, I said, Elijah will be waking you up on his way out the door. So he's going to make sure that you are up and you are not gonna, like,

you're past the point of getting back in bed. So, I mean, the alarm clock is good and theory. Also, something that worked for me when I was a kid, when I was learning how to get up on my own. So a lot of times my mom wasn't present when I woke up in the morning. So I was completely responsible for waking up, getting dressed and getting to the bus.

And sometimes I'd scream out the window for the bus driver to wait for me. Stop. I swear to God. I swear to God, this was in my little teeny tiny hometown of 4,000 that everyone makes fun of me for. Wait, but would the bus driver wait? Yeah, he'd pull over.

Because it's such a small town. I had no other option. My mom was in home. I didn't have a ride and it's like 30, 45 minutes to school. Wait, tell us, tell us what it sounded like when you were hollering out this window. So the way of my room was,

it's kind of how this room is set up, my window is right here to my right. So I would get ready and I would see the bus coming down the hill so I could see it. And it was a long walk to the bus stop, but I would scream like, I'm on my way, I and then the and then he would pull over a little bit like on the side of the road for me and he'd wait and I would be fucking booking it down this like long drive way. But what worked for me was the alarm clock where I had to get up and turn it off. So it wasn't next to my bed.

It was across the room on a dresser. So I had to physically get up. This was before cell phones, obviously. Get up and go turn it off. And at that point, it's like, all right, I'm up. I'm gonna go pee, brush my teeth and do the whole nine. So I don't know if that's like a parenting hack or if that's like old news,

but maybe that would work for some of y'all's kids. Okay, so I got the hatch. I think it's like the rest or something like that. Kristen got it too. I also got it, the restore too. Yes, that one. There's also like a kids one that has like a nightlight and... It turns green when they can get out of bed.

Yeah, it's got like a lot of great features on it. So I have that in Jackson's room. So maybe I will, do you know if that one has the alarm part on it? I believe it does. I think you can set the alarm on that. So I'm gonna try, I'm gonna start trying that and I'll get back to you guys and let you know

if it's working or if it's not working. But definitely that is a product that I would put in every one of my bedrooms of my house. I'm about to look right now. Outside of that. So a sunrise alarm wakes you up with light instead of noise. Do what? It says the Restore 2's sunrise alarm uses light to gradually wake you up.

Okay, well, I mean, I will try this process, but I'm just saying, when your eyeballs are closed, how do you know if it's light? Because it's their like, circadian rhythm or something. No, I've always wondered this. Babies wake up when they see, that's why they say like, if your baby's not sleeping and it's not like, I'm talking pitch dark to the point where you cannot see your hand in front of your face, that's how they should be sleeping to get them like in sank sinking and rhythm. And when they see that first crack of light, they wake up. Okay, well, if I ever have another baby, that nursery will have blackout curtains.

Period. And no lights like no, no nightlights, no sparkle twinkle lights, no little crib shits. Like I learned all that from rest is best when I was when I was working with her for sleeping with Creed. So just like pitch black? Yeah. Okay, well, I just need to let everybody know that no, there is no light that is going to make me rise. I don't care about whatever type of rhythm that you're talking about. The only rhythm is my eyeballs bouncing in the back of my head. Well, like not happening. Well, maybe this Duncan spiked iced tea will help. Wait, what?

So Duncan has like pre packaged spice. Sorry, not spiced. Spiked iced tea. Are we gonna try this? Absolutely not. It's slightly sweet iced tea. It's Dunkin' Brand and it's spiked. Okay, well, they went wrong. Where they went wrong is it's slightly sweet.

If McDonald's came out with one, with their sweet tea version, all day. So you're not trying this all day long. A slightly sweet tea sounds like a half and half to me. Sounds like half sweet, half unsweet. Because there are people out there that like literally. Yeah, Natalie drinks it. If I ever go to like Chick-fil-A or something and I ask her if she wants anything, she always

gets a half cut and it's half and half. No. I've never heard of it until her. Never, never doing that. I want every bit of the sweetness in that drink. So for that reason alone makes me feel like it's going to taste slightly bitter. And then like adding whatever spikedness is spiking it. Not it's not happening. Now I'll have call McDonald's. I'll have you is spiking it. Not, it's not happening.

Now I'll have call McDonald's. I'll have Elijah try it. He likes the like seltzers and the white claws. I do too. Yeah. So he's like a big fan of those. I'm not a fan of like spiked anything. I would be willing to give this a try, but I'll have him try it and see if we can find it anywhere

and see what he thinks. Because he also likes sweet tea. So wait, Elijah, my guy, are you a white claw or a truly? He'll drink he drinks both. I know, but which is the first? Let me ask him. I don't know if he'll answer right this second, but I'll have an update by the end of the episode.

Kristen is saying she's typing to us right now and said that she thinks that the Duncan version of the spiked tea is a knockoff of twisted tea. Oh, he loves twisted tea. So maybe he would like that. Oh wait, does he love twisted tea or he doesn't love twisted tea? Kill, get it together. I just asked him.

I need to know if he likes whiteclaw or truly and what's his preferred flavor. Okay. I just have a preferred flavor of like each but I prefer okay truly so I love in my area and I don't think it's like very common because anytime I tell people about this outside of like where I live, they're like we have never heard of that at all of our little local hangouts, like in my specific area, they have truly on draft where you can get it in like a frosted copter mug. And it's the wild berry flavor.

And it is so good. Like I love it, which is why I'm basically never moving out of my area. If I'm going to drink something at home, I'm going to prefer a white claw. And I like the, I think it's the Mixberry. And it's got a, it's the new pack. It's like Mixberry, Pineapple Mango. He said the Tropical Pack is his favorite.

OK, yeah. He said the tropical pack is his favorite. Okay, yeah. He's my guy. Wait, I'm sorry. So while Elijah and I are camping drinking white claws. I just, I'm, well his, he likes truly not white claw. Okay. Well, he can take the true reason. Well, he drinks both, but okay.

I was right the first time he does like twisted tea. So he is gonna, I'm gonna have him, if I can find the Duncan spiked, I'm gonna see if time he does like twisted T. So he is gonna I'm gonna have him if I can find the junk in spite, I'm gonna see if this is like comparable. Yeah, I know. You said that in Atlanta, they have the truly in white claw on draft. It's just the truly on draft. Yeah, truly wild berry or mixed berry. Is that crazy? And people get so jealous of that. That's so cool. Okay, so in addition to the water talk,

water intake and things like that, Elisha has started to take care of, I would say he started last year whenever I got on his butt about water. He's also now taking vitamins and we get our own little care packs that are customized for us individually. So mine have my name on them, his has his name on them, and we each have our own health goals, right? So

we go on, we fill out our little questionnaire and it's super easy. It's actually kind of fun to answer the questions. And the tailor your vitamin regimen to whatever suits your needs. I love that it just takes all the guesswork out for you because there's so many vitamins and supplements that we hear recommendations for all the time, but it might not necessarily be what you need. And that's why I love Cura because you're gonna do this little in-depth quiz, which I also think is fun.

And it's gonna be about your lifestyle and your specific health goals. And then you're gonna get get a personalized doctor back recommendation. So I feel super good about taking care of and I love the little convenient packs. They're so great. If you're like on the go, which we all are all the time and also for travel purposes, you're not taking a ton of bottles and stuff with you everywhere. So I also love that if your goals change,

Kira will help you adjust your routine to match. So the quiz can be retaken at any time to give you any type of updated recommendations. And if you're adjusting your habits and routine, you can also track all of that on the app. I love that. So if you guys want to try this for your first care of order, you get 50% off, go to takecareof.com and enter code coffee50. Again, for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code coffee50. Okay, so someone, we have not talked about like anything

that our listeners have been asking us in a couple of episodes. So I kind of feel bad about that. Wanted to address a couple of things I saw come up. One, this listener says that she's getting married in one month. Her parents are divorced and her mom doesn't want her dad at the welcome dinner the night before the wedding because it'll be close quarters and awkward. He is traveling five hours away for the wedding. So I assume that he will arrive the night of the welcome dinner. Not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions or insight is appreciated. And I have a big fucking opinion about this.

I also, I'm going to say fuck your mom, because that's fucked up. It's not about her. You don't get to fucking decide who's at my wedding dinner, who's not at my wedding dinner, what the circumstances are. I don't care if he wasn't there for me for 15 years of my life. If I choose to have him at my wedding, I like what I'm saying is nothing, nothing I would agree with that.

But no matter what the circumstances are, that is my day, my wedding, my everything, you can go fuck yourself if you think I'm going to prioritize your feelings over mine. For my wedding. I think that that is the one of the stickiest parts of divorce when you have kids, when they get grown, and you have to think about these activities or events that they're gonna have as adults and why it's so important to have a positive and kosher

co-parenting journey up until that point because you wouldn't be experiencing these things. I'm just pissed off that this is something Susie would do. This is like, my dad wasn't in my life has never been in my life, never been a part of my life in any way, shape or fucking form. And it was me saying I would not meet the rest of the family unless my dad would come face to face with me. If I wanted to have him at my wedding after all these years of not being here,

my mom doesn't get to have a say. That's not, and that's why you and I have talked about this a hundred times. It's not 18 years plus college. It's not 18 years. It's a lifetime because it's big events like baby showers, weddings, kids birthday parties for their grandkids. Like you think I'm just going to tiptoe around your feelings forever? A wedding is supposed to be about the people who are getting married. And I understand that there's a lot of emotions that are wrapped up in weddings. I have a girlfriend who's planning a wedding right now and it's a little bit of a contentious thing with the ex-husband. And I just don't understand why it has to go there.

Like why can't everybody just be adults and be there for that event and set your feelings aside because it's not about you. It's not about all of those things. It's about the happiness of the two people who are getting married and starting their life. And it should be your decision on who you invite and who you don't invite and how you want to handle something at your wedding. I will say I'm probably going to have a follow up on this because this person's probably going to write back. Is there some type of financial something that the mom is providing for this wedding that the dad isn't providing? And is that why she feels like she has

even still, I don't, it doesn't matter at that point, then I don't want you paying. Right. At that point, it still becomes more about you than it is about me. And I didn't think about the, the financial aspect, but regardless. No, I also think it's like, if you are going to be the one that's uncomfortable, and you're the only one with the problem, then maybe you should excuse yourself. Maybe you shouldn't participate. And why are you so uncomfortable?

And I know I said, fuck your mom is harsh. And why are you so uncomfortable? You know, like, sorry. I was right off the bat. I was like, fuck your mom. No, that's just what I would say to mine. You did. You did.

I do. But so that was a little harsh. But you guys get what I'm saying. Like this, to me, it's like if you're, if you're the one that's uncomfortable, if you're the one that's having the problem, if you're the one that doesn't want him there, maybe you should just excuse yourself. Like that's uncomfortable, if you're the one that's having the problem, if you're the one that doesn't want him there, maybe you should just excuse yourself. Like that's just how I feel. Maybe I'm just scared for Boosie, Susie and Roe kill Ray.

They're both like my mom, no, because literally, that would be my mom. My mom would be like, well, why would you have him here? And I wouldn't invite him. I didn't invite either of them to my wedding, but it's still like, why do you feel like I should consider your feelings? Like I'm an adult, I'm getting married, I want my dad there, I want my mom there.

But listen, as a child of divorce, I can say no matter how long ago the divorce was, I think all children in divorce situations that have had parents that had some type of co-parenting relationship that really failed and they could not get along. You always are going to think about your parents' feelings and how you want to please both of your parents and how you never can please both of them because if you choose one thing, it's going to make one of them upset and if you choose one thing, it's gonna make one of them upset. And if you choose the other, it'll make the other one upset.

That's something that I struggled with my whole life. Okay, so you still struggle with that? I still struggle with that to this day. I don't. I have the complete opposite experience. Like when I wanted to meet my dad, my mom didn't understand it. She was like, he hasn't been here all these years. Why? Like she could not wrap her head around it. And I did not give one single

fuck that she was upset about it. I mean, while I can, I can understand maybe why she would have felt that way in your situation because he wasn't there like for your entire raising. Maybe she felt some type of like territorial aspect of neither was she, but she didn't want to end right in her mind. You were hers regardless of what she was or was not doing. So I think that that's maybe why she probably would have had some of those feelings.

I know when it got time for Will and I to get married, the whole reason that I chose to go to Mexico and just do it with he and I was because I wanted to avoid all of the wedding drama. Mm, like every bit of it, because my parents cannot get along in the same room for five minutes. What would you do today?

What would I do today? If you and Trampoline dad were to turn around and get married, what would you, and obviously with different circumstances in general, but you understand what I'm trying to say, what would you do today? The entire situation's different. So I have to look at the collective

and the relationship with Trent started very different. You've got to look at our age now. We're so much more mature than what Will and I would have been whenever we got married. I would do everything traditionally. So you'd have all your parents there? All of my parents there. Regardless of how they felt about seeing each other.

Like if you guys wanna kill each other, like while you're here. Leave it, leave me out of it. Leave me out of it. Like I'm not gonna be a witness to the scene. I don't wanna hear about it. I don't wanna hear about it. Don't tell me about it.

Don't hear about it. I would and you know And it's something that my dad has always struggled with with Kyle and I. My mom, so I don't know if I've ever said this before, but when I was at the end of fourth grade, my dad moved us to Atlanta and my mom still lived in South Carolina. Shortly after fourth grade,

we moved to California for a year with my dad and Julie and my mom moved to Oklahoma where her husband is from and she has lived there for forever since then. And so there was very minimal communication and very minimal time that we saw her once that moved to place. And so when it came time for like high school graduation, me going off to college, you know, proms. For most anything important. You know, when I turned 16, all of those things were such big, important things to my dad, but he felt like he struggled with himself too,

because he didn't want to be the bad guy to say, you can't come to these things. So he would behind my back invite her to these things, not really want her at these things, but was doing it because he felt like it was the right thing to do, but then also resentful because he was doing it because he felt like he had done the work

to be able to experience those things and felt that she had not done that work. And so it's just families, once you get divorced, it's like such a sticky thing that you don't realize how much it impacts you so much later down the road and all the life events that your kids are going to go through and milestones that your kids are going to go through. I can confidently tell you if I got married next year, I would invite Will and his girlfriend to my wedding. Can we go back to your parents for a second though? When you say that your dad felt like he had done

the work and she didn't necessarily like deserve to be there, I resonate with that a lot for certain things and certain people in my life. But did he make it difficult for her to participate? Or did she choose that? I wouldn't say he made it difficult. I wouldn't say he made it difficult. I know whenever I turned 16, he invited her to my suite 16. But what about like the interim? Like, don't include like the big major milestones.

Like what about just like day to day? Like was she checking in on her own or would he make it impossible? Or like how, what did that look like? Well, their stories can flip. So then we wouldn't have had like cell phones and stuff. So it was just like landline. Which is hard to communicate on if you're not home

or you don't like sticky. And then when you are a child and you have activities and you're going to him from school and you have siblings and you just have like this landline, if she's calling at four o'clock, we might not be home yet, but my dad might be in his home office and be answering and saying that they're not available. Okay. Now, were we really available or were we not available?

I don't know. I can't answer that because I truly do not know. I don't personally think that he ever made it hard to communicate. I think that as a child, for me, I handled the divorce and any abandonment issues that I was dealing with very differently than my brother did. He very much like desired and longed for that communication whereas I was an out of sight, out of minder. I'm the same way, I feel, to some degree.

And so I never really dealt with the actual emotional stuff of not having my mom there whenever I was growing up. I never dealt with that stuff until I got to college and got my mom. Oh, so you kind of put it compartmentalized almost and then dealt with it later on. I have, I guess I'm like a combination of you and Kyle because there were certain things like for a long, long periods of time, it was like my dad's out of sight out of mind. But I did long for my mom. That was something that I never, I wanted to know who my dad was, but I didn't long for him

the same way I longed for my mom. So that's really interesting. I didn't like go off the tent. But do you think that you longed for your mom because it was something that you knew that you longed for your mom because it was something that you knew that you desired? I think instinctually and just nature, a child wants to be with their mother. Yeah. My dad has always said that growing up. He said it is natural instinct to want to be with your mother. And it doesn't matter what Julie was providing for us

at that time, she could have hung the moon. But because we had had experiences up to fourth grade with our mom, whether they be fully fulfilling experiences, we still had that experience. And so I told my dad, I said, if this was the decision that you guys were told my dad, I said, if this was the decision that you guys were going to make, and I said, this is an adult, like an adult conversations with him. I said, if this was the decisions that you guys were going to

make, why couldn't you have made these decisions earlier on? Because once you know something, you long for something. That's what I was going to say. You're right here with me because had you not known that Julie was not your biological mother, this would be a completely different conversation. Completely different conversation. I thought my mom's husband, which it was her second husband, well no I'm lying. My mom's third husband was in my life until I was seven. I thought that was my dad. I didn't know. Really good. Oh my god Frank, yeah I thought Frank was my dad. I didn't really do it. Oh my god. Frank. Yeah. I thought Frank was my dad. I had no idea that Raymond was my father. I didn't find out about

him until later on. I had no fucking. Oh my gosh. So I thought who was my mom. My mom got married right out of high school and then she married my dad and then she they got that one annulled because he never showed up for the divorce to create your god. Yeah. Your mother's been through an annulment too. Yeah. With my father, which was surprised me because usually if there's a child involved, they

don't allow an annulment, but also my family has pull in that town. So I think they knew somebody. Um, so my mom's third husband, Frank, I thought was my dad until I was seven or eight. That is nuts Yeah, no, like I think once and you have to be so Mindful and and it's easy to criticize any decisions that your parents make when you're an adult because You look back on it and you're like, why did why did they do that?

But I've I've had to learn through therapy that they weren't my decisions to make. And so I can't be hard on my parents for making the decisions they made because at that time, evidently, they thought that those decisions were the right decisions for them to be making at that time. It wasn't my job to parent myself.

Well, my therapist told me, because I had that, what exactly what you just said, I had the same conversation with Lisa, my therapist. And that's when she was like, then write letters, write letters to your children, explaining why you're making the decision that you make. If you decide to never give it to them, or they never ask or whatever the case may be, that's fine. But if you, because we don't, we think that our parents did the best they could now that we've been through therapy. We understand that, you know, they're doing what they thought was best. You know, when I was going through the whole shit with Chris, he was like, write your kid's letters, explain to them in a letter why you think this is best.

And one, it'll make you feel better now for the time being. And two, it'll give them insight to where your head was at and what your thought process was when they're adults. Well, like I think about moving from South Carolina to Georgia and my biological mom still being there. They shared custody at that time up until that point. And then it went to weekend, like every weekend to every other weekend to one week in a month. So it definitely like tapered off. And I just think that those are such hard transitions

for kids, but I have to look back at the time they were going through their divorce and making these decisions. Therapy was semi-taboo. So some of the things that I know now and decisions that I'm making are coming from one, a childhood lived experience that I watched that I know I didn't want to repeat. But then also having conversations and feeling comfortable enough to have conversations on

impact of mental health, whether it be on you or your children, that I don't think they were having at that time. Right. I think in that day and time, it was kind of you just adjust to whatever happens. And whatever resentment's there, whatever anger is there, is like you just figure it out. You figure that out.

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Terms apply available at IQ Bar dot com. Reply stop to stop. Help for help. And a completely unrelated note. I saw this video. It's Jay Shetty. I absolutely freaking love him. I don't know who that is.

You've never seen Jay Shetty on TikTok? I've never even heard of him. Oh my who that is. You've never seen Jay Shetty on TikTok? No, I've never even heard of him. Oh my god. Okay. Send a picture of him. Okay. I'll, I'll show you him and I'll send you all the videos, but you'll get truly addicted. So he said romantic love is not the only type of love out there. We've been so trained and conditioned to believe that the number one love story is between two people that are romantically involved. Wow. He says that it was really interesting to him because while that is an important relationship in love, you look at all of the ancient texts that he had studied during his time as a monk and researcher and they don't say that that is the number one type of love.

Their opinion on that is the number one type of love is Their opinion on that is the number one type of love is that it is a love that a mother has for her child. Wow. I wonder, you know what is crazy? I think Disney movies have kind of started to come away from like that true love. Romanticizing the fairy tale. Uh-huh, especially with like Frozen.

It's not the kiss of a true love, it's the sibling. And then I think there was another one or two, Moana. It wasn't about, you know, love. I'm sure there was like more. I can't think of them off the top of my head. But I don't think there's a Disney movie about a mother and child. I don't know if there is either, but.

We wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, we wanna, We want our residuals and our royalties, Disney, when you take this idea from Coffee Cobb's podcast about making a movie. Disney, listen up. Listen up. Okay, no. My parents should have known that I was gonna be a realist at the point that my favorite Disney movie

was Beauty and the Beast. Oh, but that one's about, is that one about true love? She falls in love with the Beast. Yeah, but that one's more like that one about true love? She falls in love with the beast Yeah, but that one's more like it's almost like Stockholm syndrome. Maybe I'm sinister like I don't know but like it was my Favorite Disney movie ever and I just felt like it wasn't like this romanticized It was romanticized, but it was a room. Maybe it was a romanticized toxic situation. Oh, for sure.

So maybe that's when my parents should have been alarmed and not proud of me. Disney has done a really good job of setting up children for failure because I can tell you confidently that no matter how much in love I currently could be, it's not a Disney fairy tale. Okay, well, it's definitely not. It's hard fucking work, just like... Relationships are work. But maybe the Disney movie about the love for between a mother and child also includes

all the hard ask, the hard ask things that it takes, the hard ask things that we go through and the things that we go through for the movie and the love of it, like it all needs to be included, because it's not easy. It's not a fairy tale, being a mother or a parent. I will tell you that until I've been in their relationship that I'm in now, I don't know based off of how I feel now, if I truly had ever been in love before or if I thought I was. The love that you have for your child to me is a very different love than you could have in any romantic relationship.

The way I love Jackson looks very different than the way that I love Trent. Oh, 100%. I mean, I think there are a lot of couples too who struggle because the dad is kind of in my experience, you know, the couple sometimes goes through like that roommate phase because the mother prioritized the child or the children over their partner for a little bit of time until they find that balance. And, you know, a lot of times I've heard of the other parent getting jealous because of that. And it's just, you can't describe.

You're talking about me and Will and like calling us out. I've also been through it. Not gonna name which baby dad, but yeah, I think that that's, it's very real. And it may go away for some couples or think that that's, it's very real. And it may go away for some couples or some couples might not make it through that phase. But it's just because a mother instinctually puts most mothers instinctually put their children first, at least for, you know, the first couple years of their lives, the child's lives.

Do you want me to tell you what it was for me with Jackson and I had to process this through therapy and I did it actually post divorce. I think whenever I gave birth to him, I had never experienced a love like that before that everything from that point felt so minuscule that it no longer felt like love. But you know what I think also, and this is no shade to girl moms,

I really think, I don't think more powerful is fair to say because I can't explain it because I don't have a daughter, but there's something even extra special about a mom with a son. Yes, yeah. I think the love is very different with a mom and a son than a mom and a daughter. And that doesn't mean it's more or less. I think that it's just a very different

kind of love. And like when I tell you the moment that I had him, something shifted in me and I never arrived to the occasion with Will in the way that I could arrive before I had Jackson. It was never the same. It's so interesting what motherhood does to us. And like, it's just so crazy. I tried and my priority just completely shifted. And I don't, I think because what I was experiencing with Will was a young type of immature love that

wasn't a love that was going to sustain for a long period of time. And then we had Jackson. I did experience that first true love story for me. And then we tried to make it work because we had him. And now that's why I say in the relationship that I'm in now, that is like I feel confidently I can say like I am in love with that man. But I love Jackson very differently than I love him. 100%.

But I love them both. Right. Like they're both true love, but not the same. Yeah. Not the same. We're not. What is the one scientist? Kristen, help me out same. Yeah, not the same. We're not what is the one scientist Kristen? Help me out here It's um Sigmund and Freud Which one yeah, one of them is like one of them did like a whole had a whole theory about how Daughters are in love with their dads and sons are in love with their moms Yeah, I have to fight that and I'm like no, I don't it's just not that kind of love. Yeah, no.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. They're very different. Okay, I have something else that I want to ask you, because I saw this come up, and I was like, wow, that's, I never, never thought about this. So it says, my niece wants to know if she donates her hair to locks of love and the recipient of her hair

commits a crime and then leaves the hair at the crime scene. Will her DNA be found all over the crime scene and thus incriminate her? She's 12 years old. So I also saw this online. I don't know if this is true, but I think that you get the DNA, don't quote me on this. I'm not a fucking scientist. The DNA comes from the root of your hair, right? Like they would test the root.

So through all the processing of the hair and being made into a wig, I would imagine there's too much damage if the root is there at all at the final stage that they would be able to extract DNA. It's also like, I think they do like a lot of like treatments to it. Okay. So I don't know that it would like, but there would never be a root involved

regardless because if they're like chopping from the bottom and like the, cause I think you have to have like a certain amount of air from like the ponytail for locks of love, if I'm not mistaken. hair from like the ponytail for locks of love if I'm not mistaken. And so it would be cut off like from the bottom of your hair. You know what I'm saying? So it's like down here like a root. So if that is scientifically the case, then it would be irrelevant what processing it was going through because they would never be a root involved. Let me Google it. Now I'm alarmed.

Now people are going to say that there's going to be articles about us pretending like we're scientists. In the hair shaft. What? No, I already got it. Our hair follicle contains nucleic acid DNA while our hair shaft contains mitochondrial DNA. So yes, the DNA is in the strand of the

hair and it's a different type of DNA in the root. Okay, well what if like that's alarming? That's what is the difference between nuclear DNA and mitochondrial DNA? Watch this be like Brian Coburger's defense. Like he probably is seeing this online and he's gonna use this as his defense. He doesn't have access to the internet right now. Well, he has people who have access to the internet, ma'am.

Does he really? Do you think he does? Yeah. I mean, he's got an attorney, doofus. Okay, human hair used to make wigs and hair extensions are typically formed and cut. So those roots that contain DNA are not actually present. Our results, that was on verifythis.com. What happens if you donate hair and the person commits a crime?

Cut hair does not contain nuclear DNA. It only contains mitochondrial DNA, which is not typically stored in crime databases. So it's unlikely that they would connect it to you, even if you were implicated, you simply say you donated your hair. Okay, so Kristen just said to us, when hair is shed or pulled,

the root is typically intact and the DNA can be found on the sample. Human hair used to make wigs and hair extensions are typically formed and cut so the root that contains DNA are not usually present. So exactly what you just said. So the DNA used to identify someone is the... The other type of DNA.

The nuclear. Yeah, okay, so that answers that question. You know what, whenever I saw it come up, I got very alarmed and then I was like, okay, thank God I've never freaking donated to locks of love because people could be out here committing crimes and I'm all over crime scene. So not really trying to be involved in that. I donated my hair to locks of love one time. You did? Yeah, when I was a kid.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. We talked a decent amount about therapy on this episode and I just want to remind you guys if you are ready to start your therapy journey, you definitely need to check out BetterHelp. I think it is the smartest idea that I have ever thought of. You don't have to leave your house and you can just get therapy services in the comfort of your own home. We talked a lot about weddings in this episode and I feel like weddings can, they're supposed to be fun, they're supposed to be really happy and sometimes there is family drama. So you could tackle those things in therapy.

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and then you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge, which is really nice. So get a break from your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash coffee today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash coffee. This is below next Captain Lee. Listen to my new podcast, Salty with Captain Lee. Don't you mean our podcast? Yeah, I guess I do. Anyhow, listen to Soli with Catherine Lee co-hosted by my assistant Sam and we will be talking

about the latest pop culture news and all the gossip every week. So does this mean we have to talk by ourselves about ourselves or can at least have some guests on? I don't know if I find myself pretty interesting, but yeah, we can have some guests on, some of our reality TV friends and some stars. Works for me. Listen to Salty now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What is this situation that you wanted to talk to me about the dating a woman every man wants? Okay, I saw this podcast interview where I like watched it. And the one of the hosts was talking about, you know, men wanting to date a woman who all of these men want, right? Like every guy wants her, she's super good looking, whatever, whatever. But other women are very turned off by her energy. And so I was thinking about it. And it's like, what are your thoughts? Like how do you feel? I have an experience, right? Like, when I dated this one person, I wasn't super happy with who I was at the time, what I looked like, and things like that. So I felt like I didn't want to go to certain events because I wasn't super happy with who I was at the time, what I looked like and things like that. So I felt like I didn't want to go to certain events because I wasn't going to have the

energy that he deserved to have at these events and things. So I would have done him a disservice. I don't want to be the girlfriend or the wife that has bad energy that no one wants to be around. I think that in what you're talking about, I would imagine that this person that allegedly every man wants to be with, but a lot of women shy away from,

is there some type of intimidation? No, it's the opposite. Wait, what? It's the opposite. So it's a man that wants to be with this one, like a woman that all these men want, but she has, like other women are not, like they woman that all these men want, but she has like other women are not like they don't like her. She has bad energy. It's the other women that are like she's

not. Does that make sense? I think that's very telling. When you are out here dating and trying to see if somebody's like a good fit for you, I think that you should definitely, whether it be a man or a woman, you should be seeing their interactions with other people and their friend group. It would be my opinion that if I was a guy and I was dating a girl that did not have like a core group of girlfriends, that would, I would question that. And that would would be I don't know if it would be like a complete red flag But maybe like flying high yellow You know yeah, like I don't I wouldn't want my partner to bring me around and all these girls Hate my energy thing could

They just I don't know like they're not vibing with me like that just feels like I am the problem Yeah, well, I mean't know, like they're not vibing with me. Like that just feels like I am the problem. Yeah. Well, I mean, anytime you go into a social setting, I think it's also very telling in a dating situation, if you're going into a social setting and you can't adapt to who's there and be friendly. And I'm not saying like you have to be best buds with them, but like, if there's a lack of being able to adapt and be friendly and have friends, that is going to be a red flag. Right. Right. I don't care like how pretty you are, what you're bringing to the table. There's never gonna be a time that I'm gonna go into a group of people that I don't know and

be introduced and be bad energy. Like that's never, I'm never gonna put myself in that situation. That's what, yeah. I mean, during that time I was like, I'm just not gonna go, because I just don't- But it's better that you didn't go. That's the thing.

If you were self aware enough to know that you felt like you did not have good energy, you weren't putting yourself in a bad situation. You might be a psychopath. If you know that you have bad energy, you know you're gonna show up with bad energy and you're putting yourself in a bad situation. You might be a psychopath. If you know that you have bad energy, you know you're going to show up with bad energy and you're putting yourself in that situation. You're asking for a problem. Am I right? That's fair. Yeah. Um, I do need to ask you what you do with the scissors in your butcher block though. Wait, what?

I just switched up topics like no big deal. Um, You know how when knives come in a set and you have like the butcher block? Yes. What do you do with the scissors that are coming in? No. Yes. No. I use scissors for everything in my kitchen. No, those scissors that are in your butcher block,

those are meat cutting scissors. You don't do crafts and fucking show and tell with the fucking butcher block scissors. I don't know. You might have different ideas that you need to do with them. Like I'm not saying I'm cutting like arts and crafts out of them, but I'm using them for kitchen related situations. So like I might be cutting, I'm about to gag nastiness off of like chicken. Yeah. That makes sense. You know, like, what are the, what are those called?

Like, like the fat or like the gristle. Yeah. I'm using it to cut that off. Or maybe like the meat packs. Have you ever, well, I know you have. I was about to say, have you ever gotten like a meal kit delivery service, but like the meat will come in the packs. So I'll use it to like cut that to cut up maybe like vegetables. Yeah.

Okay. That's fair. Those things make sense to me. Also something that Trent taught me, I never thought of this and I don't know why none of us ever thought of this. And if you tell me that you thought of this already and you didn't share with the class, I'm pissed. Why have I been using a fork and a knife to cut up spaghetti for my whole life? A fork and a knife to cut up spaghetti? You're

unhinged. What do you use? I twirl it on my fork. No, no, we aren't twirlers. I literally had spaghetti for dinner last night and I twirled it on my fork. Do your kids twirl? I think they just shovel. They don't have, they don't have etiquette, so especially when it comes to spaghetti. So I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they just shoveled the spaghetti into their mouths, but I am a twerler.

Okay. No, I'm, I don't care. 33 years old. I'm still cutting up my noodles and eating my spaghetti like on what fits on a fork. Like my parents always cut up our spaghetti whenever we were growing up. And I'm pretty sure pretty sure, I'm not going to say I'm pretty sure, I'm confident that they used a fork and a knife to do this job. Trent. Yeah. Use his scissors to cut the noodles in the bowl before he puts them in the bowl and then puts the sauce on top and I'm like, wow, genius.

No, he's a literal psychopath. No, he's not. Don't talk about my man. Trent, you are a psychopath. I have never heard of that in my entire life. I would never think to do it. You know what? I'm not even gonna tell Elijah.

I'm just gonna do it next time and see what he says. I'm going to, I hope, it has to be organic. So I have to like, plan it out. I can't go home and do it tonight because we already had spaghetti this week. But the next time we make spaghetti, I'm going to just cut them up in the bowl and see what happens. I'm going to see what happens. Will you pop up your phone and like start the video? Yeah.

Like where he can't see it? Yeah. Because that, I don't know. And I, and when I say psychopath, I mean, very calculated and like planned and like methodical. No shit, methodically not getting sauce everywhere. I just have never heard of that in my life. He and I are not the only people that cut up our spaghetti noodles for our kids. I don't care what you're trying to say. I don't understand why my kids keep taking the scissors out of my butcher block and taking them into the office for fucking. Oh, so that's what's happening.

Yeah. And then also happened here. Elijah asked me why I was cutting up meat. And I was like, because I make my chicken bacon Alfredo with like, I make my own bacon bits. Yeah. And I cut the bacon with scissors and he was like, because I make my chicken bacon alfredo with like, I make my own bacon bits. Yeah. And I cut the bacon with scissors and he cut it with scissors. He was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, I'm not going to struggle. First of all, I hate knives. I fucking hate them. So I keep them away. I don't really use them other than like a butter knife. And I'm not going to fucking saw these pieces of bacon until little bacon bits. I'm also not gonna buy the bacon bits cause they don't have the same type of flavor.

So just cutting them, cutting the strips into bacon bits is way easier. I think every person that is a parent that's listening to this or you've ever had a husband, your kitchen scissors or shears have gone missing at some point being used on things that are not kitchen related. So there's the answer on that. Also, last thing that I'm going to say before we do file play, someone else had a question and it's another wedding question. I guess

people just think that we're like versed in wedding, I have no idea. But she said, is just having two people on each side weird. I feel like you often see none, one person on each side, and then many, but never really only two. I've never seen one, I've never seen two. I've only ever seen like three or more. And personally, if I was to ever get married again, I don't want anyone next to me.

It's not about anyone else. Y'all can sit in the front row. You know what? I've thought about this before. If I ever get married again, I very much struggle with if I would want a wedding party or if I wouldn't. The big idea of one sounds great and kind of fun. The actual logistics

of one sounds like not a good time. And I'm very committed to just the wedding ceremony being about us and our kids. If I marry somebody that has kids, definitely my child. And the after party, like I'm more for like the party and the celebration and like that being involving like every, everyone. And maybe I could do something special for like my closest friends that are involved for that. But I don't know that like the whole wedding party thing, I don't know. And maybe it's because I'm older now. I don't like I just don't want to deal with the BS. Yeah, totally. And also, just like not about anyone else. You can have a group of people wear bridesmaids dresses and sit in the front row. They don't

have to be standing next to you, in my opinion. But just to her point of having like specifically two bridesmaids, I don't think that's weird at all. What I do, what I will say would be a little weird is if he has more than two groomsmen. I think it needs to match. Yeah, I also like when I got married, I was big on the matching thing because it just feels weird if you have two bridesmaids and then five groomsmen. It makes you look like you don't have friends. Well, I was just gonna say, it's just, I mean, maybe she just has two closest friends that she, because the other thing too is like,

you do wanna heavily consider who, if you are having a bridal party, you have to consider who your bridesmaid, who your, the whole party is because, I mean, I don't have relationships with anyone who is in my wedding. And you to make sure that if there's the longevity there you want to make sure They're gonna be in your lives for the long haul and you're I don't want to look back on pictures and be like

Why was this person in my wedding like I don't I don't want to do that Actually, this came up Someone messaged me. I was in a wedding back whenever I was in college. And it was one of my high school best friends. She got married super young, the youngest one of all of us. And literally have not talked to her since her wedding. Like she moved off and got out of contact

with a ton of people. And I'm like, when you look at your wedding photos, do you like think about us? Or like, I don't know, it photos, do you like think about us or like, I don't know, it's just weird. And maybe that's just selfish that I would just want pictures of like us and our kids. And then like all the funness that's happening

at like the celebration after the wedding. I just wanna like look back on that. I personally would love if I was to get married again, I would just not do a Vegas elopement, but it was elopement, a word. Yeah, a lope. I want to elope with no wedding party at all, but still get all of the wedding bride and groom

pictures with the kids pictures. Myself and my kids still dress up and have all the pictures or like I've seen really really fucking cute pictures outside of the courthouse like kind of almost like old-school pictures almost. Yeah, clean those. Yeah when you just go to just as a piece and get married and then you're on the court steps and you do the post pictures, the styled pictures, I think those are so cute and like that's more my vibe. But I think if you're getting married for the first time and you are having a big wedding, I think have as many bridesmaids as you want.

But in my personal opinion, if you have two bridesmaids, have two groomsmen. So Kristen has harassed us this entire recording. So there's two things I need to say before we do foul play. She says that she has never in her life cut meat with scissors so something is wrong with us. No there's something wrong with her. Yeah like then you're doing everything wrong and you need to start doing it right. You're making more work for yourself. Yeah like no one's trying to get a knife and do like it's literally an arm workout. It's like no litter. Um, also she said don't do bridal party. It's a scam and a tell. So no, it literally is because of that. Um, and I was surprised made in

her wedding. She's like, I hate all of you. Yeah, we're both saying it's a scam. Okay, foul play. Foul play, all right. Hey, so I heard y'all wanted some stories from personal care homes. I'm in Canada and worked briefly as a student nurse at a care home for people who definitely lived a rough life. Tatted up ex-gangsters kind of view.

There was one lady in there after her jail sentence for killing her baby granddaughter and was a scary, scary lady. This lady was built like a brick house and found a lot of pleasure intimidating us students. Since there wasn't drugs or alcohol permitted in the care home, her new addiction was Coca Cola. And she would do anything for a diet coke. It didn't take us long to discover she was prostituting herself out to the men in there for a diet coke. This was a very alarming thing to walk in on as a tiny little student nurse and I wasn't

going to get myself killed. So I definitely ran away and let that be someone else's problem. The list of traumatic stories could go on forever at that place, but I blocked most of them out. You killed your baby granddaughter and you're back out. She's one for the streets. In what, like, no, leave her in prison. No, she's, everybody in prison is not bad,

but she needs to go to maximum security. Agreed. Like she murdered an innocent child. She needs to never be allowed to prostitute herself for a diet coke. Listen, if any of you guys ever ever anybody who's listening to this, I don't care how many listeners it is because sometimes it's a lot. So I'm not trying to go broke, but if any of you ever feel the need to prostitute yourself

out for a diet coke, I'll send you the Diet Coke. I will instacart you the Diet Coke. Yeah, like I will get it for you. Like there is never a bad enough situation to prostitute yourself out for a Diet Coke. This lady's nuts. Like first of all, like personal care home and like you killed your baby granddaughter.

Like why is she there? No, she needs to go back to maximum security prison Who kills their baby granddaughter? I don't know. I want to know more of the story of like what like how this happened. No, my grandma was a saint I don't I can't remember a time my grandmother ever you Carol Jean I can't remember her ever yelling at me. You want me to tell you my nanny She has a little mean streak in her. Well, your nanny is-

That's where we all get it. She's cut from a different cloth. The lady's cut from a different cloth, but she was telling me the other day, she said, I only had to whoop your ass one time whenever you were growing up. What? And I said, what are you talking about?

She said, oh yeah, she said, you thought you were gonna run this ship and you thought you were gonna tell me what to do and you wouldn't behave. She said, so I just started popping that little ass when you started walking down the hallway and every couple steps I got another lick. And she said, I put you on the bed and you were pouting

and you said, I don't like you. And she said, I don't give a damn if you don't like me or not, you go mind. And she said, it's the only time that I ever got spanked. And I don't even consider that like a bad thing. What's wrong with some of these mean grandmas though? I don't, my, I don't remember. don't, my grand, I don't remember, like I'm telling you, I don't remember ever being yelled at by my grandparents.

So I just don't kill your grandchild. I couldn't be a mean grandma. Like, could you imagine like just like, think about us. I hope it's a long time away, but we got some kids that, you know, you got a kid that is getting close and aid. Isaac doesn't like kids. He doesn't like kids or babies getting close and a Isaac doesn't like kids. He doesn't like kids or babies.

So he said he doesn't want kids. Wrap it. Oh, okay. Are we doing the next file play? Yes. Finally, I have a good file play to share with you all. We'll thank you for joining the class and participating. Um, we are all in the process of selling our starter home and getting a new home.

Well, I've been running around like a scatterbrained psycho, keeping the house perfect for inspection and appraisal this week. So I started my period, so that just adds to my crazy this week. I've been using a menstrual disk, which I actually love. If you haven't used one, it's self-empty when you use the restroom. Well, I must not have held the flusher down good or something, but my son comes running out of the bathroom saying the house is haunted. I asked him why he thinks that and he replies with there's blood in the toilet and that's why we were selling the house because it's haunted, isn't it? Bless his heart. My nine-year-old has

told everyone around us about it. I'm literally mortified. He hasn't slept in his bed all week because he is fully convinced that the house is haunted. I should probably tell him the truth, but my husband and I can only laugh when he brings it up. I love you ladies and the podcast. I love this so much. Okay. Do your kids know what like tampons and sitar? My kids know what periods are. Although Lux, I think still thinks that I bleed out of my butt, but he also knows what a period is. Like he knows that women get them and sometimes we bleed.

I have not explained like, I haven't corrected him about the butt thing, but like he, my kids don't want to be thinking the house is haunted at any, any point for this reason. Okay. Listen, so Jackson has no idea about like periods or anything like that. No idea. Very naive when it comes to like life or anything like that. No idea. Very naive when it comes to like life things like that. Right. One time we had to go to Target

and he was like, why are we going to Target? And I was like, I gotta get something. And he was like, well, what is it? So I go and get the tampons. And he goes, what's that? And I said, it's a mom thing. And he was like, oh, like those drinks that you drink, like it's a mom thing, right?

And I'm like, yes, like white claws and tampons are for moms. And like he's never asked ever again. Like I don't know if it just like satisfied his curiosity or if he's just like terrified to know where it actually really goes. I mean, you just know as a mom, like when the kids are ready to know that stuff. And so if he's not ready and he doesn't ask and he doesn't, you don't have a reason to tell him, I just don't feel like, I mean,

just let him wonder. I mean, if he might not be even be wondering. Yeah, I don't think he, I literally don't think he's wondering. He's probably like, Oh, I don't know. And one time that one time that I stuck the tampon up my nose when it was bleeding. Remember that? Shit, I put one in Lincoln's nose when it was bleeding. Yeah, he was like, What is that? And I was like, it's a tampon in my nose. Calm down.

We think it's nose bleeds regularly. It's something that he inherited from Jose Javier. But for whatever reason, I don't know what it is, but they just get them. They want you to be doing nothing. What the heck? And the one day, the only thing I had in my car was a tampon. And we just, I actually, we were laughing and I took a picture of it. I would never post it and embarrass him, but like that.

But I was like, it's very good for this reason. But anyway, anyway, well, then I'm going to like go and actually be productive at some point today. I have a flat tire, so I'm going to work that out. Oh, you what got your flat? I don't know, I ran over something I think on the way way here. Oh good. Um, okay. Well, you go and figure that out find a tireman aka Elijah And if you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram Make sure you follow us there if you have not subscribed to the show you can do that from any podcast app wherever you get your podcast You guys have great fucking me