Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 104: Mom Tastes Like Marrow!

Episode Date: June 24, 2013

Visit http://dissonancepod.com for the images we mentioned in this show. Matt’s kickstarter Film Website/Funding drive:   Facebook page: Simon’s website - Stuart’s podcast -

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Is this what you want? Hi Tom, hi Cecil. Greetings from the UK, the land of hope and glory, and bullshit peddlers like the Daily Mail, the Daily Express, Andrew Wakefield and David Icke. But I digress.

Now I realise that the chances of you understanding a single word of what I'm saying are slim to none, seeing as we share a common language, but my accent is slightly different to yours. So rather than risky missing the point of this message, I present it to you in a four-part harmony. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Hi guys, this is Kate from Denton, Texas. Super mega ultra Glory Hole not with wings like a fairy because fairies are lame I wanted to fly like the Asian Petroleum Heroes or a Jedi or like Superman this was my only wish for at least 7 years of my life anytime I prayed for anything I prayed to be able to fly I was even concerned that if I prayed for too many things

the less important wishes might be granted and the gift of flight might be overlooked by God so I was always very careful never to ask for anything else to stay consistent and focused on my goals. Spoiler alert, I still can't fly. True story. Thanks, guys.

Keep up the good work. Good afternoon, guys. Glory Hole from the UK. I am talking slowly and pronouncing my words as best I can because I know you can't understand the English accent, even though you speak English, the language we gave you. And you give us so much more back, and I for one appreciate what you do. Thank you. This is Terry from the UK saying bye.

What's up, guys? Love the show. Hey, Glory Hole. You know, I'm calling because I think people are kind of overreacting a little bit about that Christian woman that was giving the description to school kids about having sex. Quite honestly, dude, I believe she's being pretty accurate. And I think we actually owe her a debt of gratitude in terms of that accuracy. Every Christian woman I've ever had sex with. Yeah.

Okay. There it is. So as for the proof, I'd have to offer up Marcus Backdoor-Bossman. There it is. Have a great show. Bye. Warning. Following podcast may contain nuts and or vegetables. This is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 104, and I know that because it's in the notes. And I did put it there. I specifically put it there. I could put anything there though and you would just read it. You could because when I opened up the file

I named it 103. And it's like, and my computer is like, hey asshole, you've already done this before and I overwrote it. It's like, do you want to save over it? I'm like, fuck yeah, I want to save over it, bitch. I burn every bridge. I do

believe that atheists are parasites in the sense they're benefiting from everything that religious culture is built in America, but they're doing nothing to add energy into the system. And our first story comes from opposingviews.com U.S. Immigration Services believes an atheist can't be a conscientious objector.

Texas women who live in the United States for 30 years apply to become a naturalized citizen. But as part of the naturalization process, you have to say that you're willing to take up arms to defend the United States if, you know, shit goes tits up. And she didn't want to do that. It says it right in there. It says, if shit goes tits up. Oh, yeah. It's kind of funny, too, because, you know, I'm surprised the founding fathers wrote like that.

But once in a while, they just let loose and they just wrote shit like that. You know, they get to drink of that hard cider while they're drafting and things just they start to get a little real. Come on, Jefferson. Put your wig on backwards again. Should we make them take up arms well i don't know i mean shit i love your pantaloons madison you have marvelous pantaloons what are you kidding me we're dressed all in wool it's a hundred goddamn degrees in here this is ridiculous oh That's awesome. What do you think about that, though, Tommy?

Do you think that you can be a conscientious objector and be an atheist? Yeah, I can't think why. I mean, yes, of course. Yeah, absolutely I do. I mean, like, to me, like, I read the word conscientious objector and I think of the conscience, right? And I think of, you know, your moral compass, like the ethics

that guide your personhood. The idea that because I don't have religion that I don't have an ethical standard, that's really what I feel like they're saying. You don't have an ethical standard because you're not religious. I guess I wonder if they

think that, you know, can atheists be vegetarians then? You just can't do it no, you can't. You just can't do it. You just can't do it. They're like laughing at the atheist vegetarians like, ah, you stripped away all your morality and you still don't eat meat. I mean, this is like the same. This is like, you know, atheists eat babies, right?

Right. Like you're always walking around like punting kittens somewhere. It's like, time to punt a kitten. Like, why? I don't know. I don't believe in God. I can't tell what's nice or not nice. walking around like punting kittens somewhere. It's like, time to punt a kitten. Like, why? I don't know. I don't believe in God. I can't tell what's nice or not nice. And in every moment of my life, I'm doing things that are only self-serving.

And, you know, in a way, why wouldn't you think if that's if that's what you think of atheists, if you think, you know, all they're doing is being self-serving. Well, then why wouldn't you let them be like, well, I'm not going to fight for you. Why wouldn't that fall into the doctrine of belief that allows you to get out of fighting a war? Because if you're already self-serving, serving in a war most of the time would not help you. Right. No kidding.

I mean, at least in the small scale. Yeah. It's pretty unusual to be like, oh, oh man being in that war really hooked me up unless you're a war criminal you know what i mean yeah you know i'm reminded when i read this there's a um there's a story in one of david rackhoff's books you know where he's applying for citizenship he's canadian he's applying for United States citizenship. And he has to answer the same question. And, you know, he's like he has this whole conversation with himself where he's like, well, I just kind of figure it's grass soup. You know, that if things get really so bad that the person you want to draft into your army is like, you know, an overweight 40 something gay man, then at that point, fine, I'll pick up arms and defend the country

because everybody else is dead. Like, I am your last resort. Yeah. You know? And you look at this and it's like, well, conscientious objectors should be your last resort because they're going to be the worst soldiers. Yeah. This is the worst soldier.

Like, would you take up arms? Actually, I'm kind of a, well, we're going to need you to do it anyway. But I'm not going to be good at it. All the people you could, you could train an of dogs, and they would be better than me. You know? You could train an army of chipmunks, and they would be better than me at this. It'd be like if I got drafted to play on the Chicago Bulls. It'd be like, listen.

An army of chipmunks would be better than you on the Bulls. That's for sure. Are you kidding me? I'm 5'8". I'm a fat guy with asthma. You want me better than you on the Bulls, that's for sure. Are you kidding me? I'm 5'8". I'm a fat guy with asthma. You want me to play on the Chicago Bulls? Are you kidding me? I'm tired spelling Bulls.

You don't even run fast enough to get the towels to him during a break. You can't even be like the Gatorade kid. You're just... You're out of breath After you get to the first guy you're just like I made it to Llewell Dang but I can't make it To Joachim Noah there's no way I can go down Half court and deliver this

Gatorade I'm presuming those are People they are those are people I just mentioned I would drink the Gatorade are you kidding me I'd be like You're like wiping your mouth Here you go Here you go Derek Rose Here's your Gatorade You're like wiping your mouth off. Here you go. Here you go, Derek Rose.

Here's your catering. I show up. I've got an empty cup panting. I've got my hand during it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

All right, I'll go back and get you another one. I totally drank that first one. Hold on. They took all the paramedics to get you off. They had to like hella lift you off the court. I have feelings too. But you know, I totally agree with you though with the

idea of, you know, not only that you would be out of breath if you ran across the basketball court, but also this is a 65-year-old lady. What could you possibly do in the military? I mean, really, at this point, there's not a lot you could do anyway. I mean, it doesn't matter if you're a lady or a man. You're not going to be doing much. You're just a – you'd be a speed bump for their tanks or something. Yeah, it's like, you know, you could be body armor in the sense that somebody could strap your body to their armor.

And then protect themselves from bullets. Yeah. Not you, them. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. I mean, like, you know, would you be willing to take up arms and bear arms and defend the country? It's like, hmm, no.

No, I'm really not willing. I mean, I'm not even, like, I'm not willing to do that. No, I'm just not going to do that. Well, you have to unless you're religious, then you don't have to. I mean, you gotta hand it to the person, though. I mean, they could just fucking lie.

It's not like anybody's going to ever call them on it. But they stand by their guns here. And I got some respect for that. And I do think anybody who wants to be a conscientious objector should be. If you're a pacifist, you shouldn't be forced to fight. I totally agree 100%. But I also don't think that you need some sort of religious text in order to point to and say, this is why I'm a pacifist.

I think you can get to that logically without any sort of religious backing. I think pacifism is a pretty reasonable ethical position to take. It's not my ethical position, but I'm just too fat to attack people. It's not pacifism. It's just lazy. It's just lazy. It's just lazy. It's like the Chinese are invading. I'm like, come on in. Bring food.

I got chopsticks. Did you bring takeouts? Put the tongue pow over here, buddy. I got it. No problem. Welcome to my home. We have reduced an entire people to their food. That's just the shitty Americanized food. Yeah, I know, and the shitty American version of their food, too.

We are a proud nation. Yeah. Whatever you say, feed me. Whatever. Stuff an egg roll in my maw. Are you stuffing egg rolls in hot mustard down my throat enough yet? We believe we're moving into a supernatural season where, if needed, God will multiply food. I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking. So this story comes from thinkprogress.org.

Congressman claims people struggling to survive on food stamps are intentionally buying overpriced food, says Representative Steve Jowles Stockman. As he said it, there was a reverberation from his giant fat cheeks as he said it, too. He also ended it with, I've got food stamps. I bought seven frogs. He's like making the Democratic whip dance for him in a bikini, you know?

Well, you know, this guy's arguing in a press relief that the supplemental nutritional nutrition assistance program provides cushy benefits to recipients. Fuck you, you fat ass. God. Says the man who clearly receives a lot of food benefits. And then the food benefits are the calories. Right. Yeah.

This is a guy who clearly has had a pint of Ben and Jerry's for breakfast every day for the last four or five years. Like he is definitively a chubby hubby. Oh, yes, he is. Oh, yes, he is. Oh, yes, he is. Absolutely. You know, the one thing that drives me crazy is this guy wound up taking the the their average benefit program is 450 a day. So it's four dollars and 50 cents a day.

And he wound up taking 3150 for the entire week. And he went out and he bought food, enough food to eat off of it. And then, like you said earlier, when we were talking, Tom, he sat back like a smug bastard and said, well, look at me. I was able to do it. I was able to live off $31 and I was fine. And there's a couple of things that we talked about when we were talking about this story earlier before we recorded. And one of them't, he wasn't in a food desert. And I guess when you tweeted this, you said this, that he, you know, he's not in a food desert.

He's not in a place where he can, where, you know, you have to take public transportation of some sort to get to a place to actually buy the fucking food. And I also wonder too, did he buy all the staples that go along with cooking that food? Because yeah, you can cook rice and water, but did he add something to it? Did he add salt? Did he have to buy the salt did he have to buy the you know the other things that you need in the in the kitchen to you know did he buy let's say he needed ketchup did he buy that with the 30 because you know what the thing of ketchup is like four bucks you know that's your whole day yeah i mean that's a whole day for like one thing of ketchup or you know like a couple of cans of

progresso soup that's like four dollars so the idea that you know, like a couple of cans of Progresso soup. That's like four dollars. So the idea that, you know, you can just survive off of this, you know, maybe you can. And you mentioned earlier you could if you just went and bought, you know, stock, big bunch of dry beans and a bunch of rice, you could probably survive off of it. But at the end of the day, he's going back to his regular diet after a week. Right. Yep. What is he going to be like after 52 weeks of just eating rice and beans or whatever

it is that you eat to survive? $4.50 a day in Chicago. I mean, you can't even get a latte for $4.50 down here. It's outrageous. You know, this is a way to make sure that the poor are fucking miserable. Right? Right. is a way to make sure that the poor are fucking miserable right it's like saying like well we'll give you barely just fucking barely enough food to literally survive like you will be able to

metabolize calories yeah that's fucking it but you will receive no joy no joy from it whatsoever you're fucking poor you don't deserve joy. Fuck you. I'm eating another frog. It's not even joy. The thing is, it's not even a balanced meal. The idea is, $4 a day, $4.50 a day is not going to be able to feed you

food and anyone in some kind of variety in some way. I mean, you can't just eat the same damn thing every day, which is a can of spam and an egg or something, whatever you're eating, whatever you're trying to choke down today to stay within your four dollars and 50 cent budget. You know, this is like what this is, is basically giving away free clothes to the poor, but they happen to be clown clothes. So it's like, you know, you got to wear like the Ronald McDonald pants and the giant fucking shoes and a big ass wig. It's like, yeah, you know, you're not sufficiently shamed enough to be poor. Let me shame you just a little more. Yeah. You know, I mean, you're supposed to eat like a balanced diet, right? I mean, you can eat a balanced diet at

$4 and 50 cents a day. Fucking apples are $2 and 49 cents a pound over here. You know, what's an apple way? An apple weighs cents a pound over here you know and what's an apple way an apple weighs you know half a pound maybe a little less yeah it's a quarter pound with four ounces right you can't you can't eat a food like you seriously have to eat the least nutritionist nutritionally valuable foods available you're eating fucking garbage food or you're eating you know barely like we said like barely surviving foods you're eating fucking garbage food or you're eating you know barely like we said like barely surviving foods you're not talking about like and and you you know if you want to be competitive if you want to be uh a person in the world who's going to compete and

who's you've got to have good nutrition my fucking god you've got to have good nutrition in order to like raise healthy children in order to have, in order for your fucking brain to function full blast. Right? Like, these aren't, this is not, like, something that you can fuck around with. $4.50 fucking cents? Are you serious? Fucking Representative Steve Jowles Stockman from Texas? Guy looks like he ate a whole stock yard.

You know, Tom, wasn't there a story somewhere about how much it costs to get milk? Like how much what's the average price for milk? And like in like really difficult inner city areas, it's like 20, 30, 40 cents more than it is in like this dickheads neighborhood. You know, and that's just one product. It's not a bunch of price, just one fucking product. So, you know, stop, get off your fucking, first off, you're going to need some help to get off your high horse. Cause you're a fucking giant fat human being.

Get a couple of squires to come over and help you off your high horse. But really just try to consider it from somebody else's view. Have a little bit of empathy. Don't sit back and be like, oh, I can live off $31, $31.50 a week. Why can't they? You also live in a nice house. You have a car. You have all these other things that are involved in this that just totally tip the equation in your favor.

You know, I real quick do also want to bring up, you know, I know that was sort of a joke, but the idea of joy, you get five fucking senses. You get five. That's all you fucking get. One of them is taste. I mean, imagine looking at poor people and saying, you're poor. You don't get to see beautiful things anymore. Yeah. What? You're poor. You don't get to see beautiful things anymore. Yeah. What?

You're poor. You don't get to hear beautiful music anymore. Fuck you. Fuck that sense. You don't get to have that. You're poor. That's cruel. Yeah.

I mean, taste is one of your, it's one of the five senses. It's one of the five ways we get to take in stimulus from our world around us to deprive people of that so egregiously and for no fucking reason. For no reason. Like we can't cut corners somewhere else. This is where we're going to cut the corners. I know. To fucking shit on poor people. Yeah.

I mean it's just fucking mean is what it is. And the thing is, you're absolutely right when you say, Lord, is this where we're going to cut corners? Because you know what? There's probably a lot of other pork things that you can cut so that poor people can actually eat pork. Look at this guy. He is made of pork. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. So this story comes from wlocks.com Tyler telling

puppy mill busted. Official worst I've ever seen. Puppy mill? Why would this be on cognitive dissonance? Hmm, who was running the puppy mill? The owner of the dogs is a pastor and was selling the dogs out of his church.

You wonder if he's like standing up in front of everybody. And right after, you know, when you, I don't know if they did this at your, because you were Methodist, right? We were, yeah. Yeah, okay. So I don't know if they did this after your Methodist thing, but when I was Catholic, the priest comes out and stands by the door. And as you leave, you shake hands and do things like that. So the priest will come out and shake your hand or whatever. Like congratulations for going to mass or whatever.

I don't even know. But, you know, I wonder if he's just standing there. He's got his robes on. And he opens them. He's like, hey, buddy, you want to buy a puppy? And he's got all these puppies. They're just lined inside of his coat. His, like, robe.

And you're like, wait wait did you do the entire sermon with those puppies in there like were they in there the whole time I don't worry I don't tape their mouths that's better conditions than they were living in like the shady guy at the Greyhound station trying to sell you a Rolex

he just like opens up his coat he pulls up his arm there's like a puppy in there Dogs here I got dogs Actual fucking dogs here Born and bred In terrible deplorable conditions

To sell to my flock What? Why is it? It's just such an odd story It really is But it's awful to put dogs through this, it's awful to, you know, to, to put dogs through this. And, you know, I mean like this, the worst part is, is like, imagine you're the dog born into this shitty world and you basically you're born and like next to you is a corpse dog.

It's like, fuck, what's next? And then you just die in a cage and nothing. I mean, you basically just, you know, you just wind up as a corpse dog and you're another next corpse dog that comes out. The next dog that sees you is, is like, oh shit, you just wind up as a corpse dog and you're the next corpse dog that comes out. The next dog that sees you is like, oh shit, that's what I get to be. Right. Yeah. That's not a good.

That's not a good sign. That's not a good omen when you're like, oh, stretching out in the world for the first time. Let me check out my new digs. They are awful. These digs. It's like suckling on a skeleton. It's just like.

There's a suckling on a skeleton. It's just like. There's a suckling on a skeleton. It's like trying to. Man, this thing is dry. Mommy tastes like marrow. I hate my brothers. This is just a horrible story. It's so bad. Puppy mills are just.

That's just a horrible shitty thing. And, you know, like the worst part is that the dogs are kept in like these deplorable conditions. Not only are the dogs dying, but also the dogs like probably are sick. They probably have mange and a bunch of other parasites. You know what I mean? Like the dogs are just in horrible, horrible, horrible conditions. Why would you treat your product like this? It doesn't make any sense.

Well, the reason is because he just doesn't want to – you know, this is – puppy mills exist because people I think are either lazy or overambitious. Those are the two reasons. Lazy, they just basically keep the fucking dogs together and they just shit fucking puppies out. You know what I mean? They don't separate the dogs. They don't buy enough cages or whatever it is they need to do to separate the dogs to make sure that they're not shitting out the dogs. But then the other one is where they're just overambitious. They think they're going to sell enough dogs and they, the dogs start shitting out dogs.

And then eventually there's like, you know, they're in the penny saver. Yeah. Right. Free puppy. You know what I mean? Too many dogs. Yeah. It's like, it's like, it's like the litmus test for whether or not you're like a decent

human being. Like you look at like a little tiny, helpless puppy or animal or whatever. And it's like, I think I could ignore that until it died. I think I could do that. Oh yeah. That's a, like you just have to have something broken,

like just broken inside. Yeah. Also, let me be your moral compass. I wonder though, if they're, if they, if they have,

you know, I'm under if they, if they think that dogs are just, they're not human. So they don't care. Maybe, maybe they're just think of it as a lesser, because I do think of a dog as a lesser creature,

but I think, you know, like I think we've talked about this before when it comes to like meat animals and then like dogs. I think there's a hierarchy of animals. Like I have a higher, I personally have a hierarchy of animals that I'd like to see not suffer. And then there's animals I don't give a fuck if they suffer.

You know, I mean, there's some animals I don't care at all. And then there's, I don't give a fuck if they suffer. There's some animals I don't care at all. And then there's the companion animals and some of the intelligent sea mammals and things that I don't want to see suffer. I'm like, I don't want to see that thing suffer. But then there's other animals. I'm just like, yeah, shoot it and I'll eat it.

Well, you know, like dogs and cats specifically, tens of thousands of years, they have been bred to live with people. Sure, they're domesticated, yeah. Like we have bred them to look a way that we are programmed to like the way that they look. Right. Right?

I mean, like you see them and like there's a reason people universally react to them. You know, it's not just, it's not by accident. It's by virtue of, you know, that they evolved sort of with us as a separate species away from the wolf. Like it's, and you just look at that and you're like, I think I could neglect that. Yeah. I could really go for some neglect. You know what? One of the things that I, you know, you got to applaud.

I'm going to read directly from the article. It says the owner of the dogs is a pastor and was selling the dogs out of his church in Louisiana. directly from the article. It says the owner of the dogs is a pastor and was selling the dogs out of his church in Louisiana. Authorities were alerted to the dogs when a person who was going to buy one of the dogs saw how bad the conditions were. And if he saw them out of the church,

then the chances are that this was a churchgoer who turned him in. And you wonder, why don't they do that when they're raping the kids? No kidding. They care about the puppies. But they certainly don't care enough to turn the people in, well, not all the time, when they're raping the kids.

Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. So this story is from EastCentralMissouriPostReview.com. ECMPostReview.com. Former Asante County pastor sentenced for criminal sexual conduct. This story is basically your standard Pastor Ryan diddled around some kids story. But what particularly struck me about this one, Cecil, is he tried to convince them that his fiddling about was blessings. I'm blessing them.

They've been blessed. I don't know about you, but that's how I convince Sarah. I'm just like, look, these are blessings, okay? I'm just telling you right now. Don't worry, the blessings won't last long. They never have in the past. I don't want you to get too, you know, they're not very big blessings. It's pretty small. You don't want a big get too, you know, they're not very big blessings. It's pretty small.

You don't want a big blessing. Don't get spoiled. No, you don't want to get, look, you know, those big blessings, they'll just hurt you. You know? You got to get a lot of holy water to get ready for that. You know? It's not, we're not quite there yet. You're not quite, we're not quite there yet.

You know, he says he admitted that the sexual conduct was for his own sexual pleasure is what it says in the article. And it's like, well, no fucking shit. What did you think it would be for? Blessings? I think he did. It's like the whole, this whole article is just so strange. And he gets off. Heyo.

He gets off with only serving 160 days in jail and just goes to the county jail, just like regular county jail. Wow. So blessings don't earn you a huge sentence, Cecil. No, they don't. It turns out, you know, did they tell you that? I read this article pretty closely. I didn't see how old these people were. Yeah, I actually, it was not very clear.

I read that article and I was looking for the same information. I kept on looking to see, like, how old these people were. They kept calling them young men. Yeah. And I don't know what that means. Well, I can't think it would be criminal if they were adults. It's got to be that they're under 18. Right. But he's suppressing some feelings when he's there.

And I think that this is a perfect example of sometimes you reach the breaking point. This guy can't hold back these feelings anymore. He starts singing a Journey song, and then pretty soon he's giving kids blessings. feelings anymore. He starts singing a journey song and then he's, you know, pretty soon he's giving kids blessings. Like the church is like some kind of pedophilic glee episode. Yeah. I, I, you know, this, this is just, you're right though. It's, it's so standard. It is so, I mean, even the beard on this guy is standard. He looks like every other one of these guys. Right. You see this guy and you're like, yeah, you're either a diddling

pastor or you drive an ice cream truck. One or the other. Those are your two career options. You know, and maybe you do them both. I'm not here to judge. No, no. Maybe he's giving blessings out the back of an ice cream truck. Blessings. I got blessings. Blessings and ice cream. Who wants?

Yeah. You know, and you look at this stuff and what he's doing is he's taking advantage in every in every time he's taking advantage of a vulnerable group of people. Right. He's using a position of authority, taking advantage of a vulnerable group of people. And, you know, that's that's the definition of a predator. It is absolutely the definition of a predator. And what bothers me about this article is all throughout the article, people that are commenting on it, you know, are basically saying like, oh, well, you know, we should give him some, we hope he finds forgiveness and, you know, he should repent for what he's done and he gets 160 days in jail.

I know. That's it. And it's a slap on the fucking wrist. Like, the guy is an obvious predator. This isn't an accident. He didn't have, like, a slip up of mis—you know, this wasn't misconduct. This was a thought—this was an obviously predatory action. And the guy gets fucking four months in county jail?

Are you kidding me? What, did he get arrested by Gomer Pyle? See the sins arrest. See the sins arrest. You touched his genitals. You dumb blessed him. You gave him some blessings, you did. It's like Barney Fife is loading his one bullet into his gun.

You know, I think that, you know, there's a double whammy here just like with every instance of this. Not only is this guy abusing the trust of the relationship he has with those people, but he's also a moral authority and is also probably anti-gay. And I think that those are the problems. You know, this is it. You know, there's a lot of reasons we talk about this, but I think that's the crux of the issue is that those are the two things. And those are the two things that are really, really abhorrent. Yeah, I mean, anytime you take advantage of, like, the people that have put their fucking faith in you, you know, I mean, it's just, it's

that's what God's supposed to do, right? I mean, not the pastor. So we're going to take a quick break, give you some information on how to contact us and such, and we'll be back to finish out the show after this. Want to contact Cognitive Dissonance? Visit them on Facebook. You can find the link at the website dissonancepod.com or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Twitter.

Their handle is at dissonance underscore pod. The guys also post to Google Plus now too, so check them out there. And if you'd like to email them, you can do so at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on the blog at their webpage or give them a call at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. And to everyone who listens, shares, retweets, or rates the show, Cognitive Dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. So this story is from MSN.com.

Sarah Palin offers take on serious situation. And what a nuanced take Gollum belches out here. So this story is from MSN.com. Sarah Palin offers take on serious situation. And what a nuanced take Golem belches out here. Quote, let Allah sort them out. Allah sorts them out. What's Allah? And Tom is referring to the picture here. Because she's leaning over and she's got this giant grin and her face is all scrunched up and her skin looks like a leather handbag. So that's why she looks like fucking Gollum.

She really like, I mean, the only response would have been awesome if somebody was like, boil a mash and stick them in a stew. You know, like her her comment about the fucking civil war in Syria is suggests that Obama's administration stops applying weapons to Syrian rebels in their fight against a Syrian president Bashar al-Assad's regime and, quote, let Allah sort them out. And that's that's obviously, you know, it's like kill them all. Let God sort it out. That's the it out that's what she's referring to this was almost the Vice President of the United States people you know, I think we're being a little hard on her

I actually agree with her the thing is, Allah has such a huge collection of bodies he kind of needs to hire an intern to sort them out just to sort through all of the dead bodies that fall at the feet of Allah, he needs somebody to sort them out. The little ones to the left.

She's right. He's got a little system there. It's like when you're sorting your Legos. It's the same thing. He's got a different bin for each different size body. It's just body parts. It's exactly like the Lego guys because they blow themselves up.

So you're just like, I got fucking – are these your legs? No, I can't seem to get this. You would think being all powerful, I'd know this stuff. Later on, she palin to questions supporting, quote, radical Islamic countries who are, quote, slaughtering each other as they scream over an arbitrary red line. Akbar. Again, this was almost the vice president of the things that she I mean, you know, first off, you know, every everybody in America should be collectively breathing a sigh of relief that she is not the vice president of the United States. But I think I think what what, you know, she completely misses the point like she does on everything else, because all she is is just a screeching, you know, banshee who just yells the party line. She's saying they're yelling, you know, the red line or whatever. All she who just yells the party line. She's saying they're yelling, you know,

the red line or whatever. All she does is scream the party line. But really what she's saying is, you know, I don't care about their conflict. Well, when a government turns their guns on their people, you know, isn't that sort of what America is supposed to stand up for? Isn't that where we're supposed to be to be like, hey, you know what? This government is oppressing its people. We've got to be there to help protect them. You know, it's the idealism of America. But we know it's not the truth because in certain places in the world, we don't give a fuck. And we've we've we've we've demonstrated that aptly across the entirety of the African continent. But, you know, you're I think you're I think you're absolutely right. I think, you know, you look at something like this and it's the people are protesting, you know, you're I think you're I think you're absolutely right. I think, you know, you look at something like this and it's the people are protesting. You know, the Syrian the Syrian civil war started with peaceful protests in the streets that were met with violent resistance by Assad's government.

You know, they were like fucking machine gunning unarmed protesters to death in the street. Now it's turned into, you know, this civil war, and the conflict has obviously gotten dramatically much more complicated, and you've got the influx of the Hezbollah militia people coming in, and, I mean, shit has gotten fucking real over there. The solution is not to turn your back. No. Like, that's not, like, this is not good fucking foreign policy,

to just be like, oh, you know, they worship a different god, so fuck them, What do I care? You know, if we really are a country that says, you know, that we value democratic principles, what more democratic principle can there be than a peaceful protest? And when a peaceful protest is met with violence from a tyrannical government and and then, you know, the Arab Spring, of course, you know, it's like, we watched it happen in Tunisia and Egypt and, you know, successfully, successfully it happened, you know, these. And since then, it's gotten, of course, more complicated because, you know, establishing governments is incredibly complicated. But you can't just turn your back on a country

like Syria and say, well, fuck them. Let Allah sort it out. I mean, she's basically saying like, it's not my God. It's not my problem. Right. No, she's totally. You know, I'm reminded of what, you know, it's in the similar vein to what like Ann Coulter said after 9-11, which is like, let's go assassinate all the leaders and convert them to Christianity. Like, because that's the only way we'd care. Right.

Is if we controlled what they thought. This story is from the New York Times. Islamists press blasphemy cases in a new Egypt. We were just talking about Egypt a moment ago from our article about Syria. And, you know, the situation over there has gotten pretty fucking complicated. And ever since the overthrow of the previous leadership, the Islamists have gained a tremendous amount of power, much more than they had before. The Muslim Brotherhood has taken over. And evidently now doing anything to offend religion.

And my favorite quote from this article is contempt of religion, any religion, is a crime, not a form of expression. A lawyer from the Muslim Brotherhood has been said. So you do anything like you fucking insult somebody five years in prison. Yeah. Five years in prison. And then it's not just that. It's like, you know, this guy said promoting atheism. You can get five years in prison. A Christian lawyer was sentenced to one year for insulting Islam in a private conversation. In a private conversation. Conversation, I know.

I can't believe that. But blasphemy laws are just bullshit. That's just thought police garbage. That's not useful. There's nobody benefits from a blasphemy law because, you know, really, if your ideas should be able to hold their own, you know, against other ideas, and if they can't, well, then they just get destroyed. And, you know, nobody benefits from silencing other people on and silencing ideas.

You know, look, I want people to be able to bring their ideas about God into the open sphere. I don't think that that's a problem. Bring it out into the open. And if I challenge you on it, you know, your faith should be strong enough to say, hey, you know what? I just disagree. OK, cool. Well, and we can go on our separate ways and everything's fine. But I think that the idea that you're just going to be like, well, you're not allowed to say, you're not allowed to say your idea is bullshit. Well, you know, what are you mandating then? I mean, where does it stop?

Well, and, you know, extrapolate that same argument to something that's not religious, but something which is a deeply held belief. Right. So let's say somebody came up to me and said, you don't love your wife. I wouldn't even care. Be like, the evidence does not bear that out. Like, I love my wife. Right. You're saying you don't love your wife doesn't change my love for my wife it has

no impact whatsoever so somebody coming up to a religious person being like your god's not real what what are you talking about it's not like it's such a fucking crazily irrelevant thing to say what what i think this these blasphemy laws do is they expose the insecurities of the power structure of the religious power structure of the countries that impose these blasphemy laws do is they expose the insecurities of the power structure, of the religious power structure of the countries that impose these blasphemy laws, right? They are insecure about their hold of power. And that insecurity means that they have to quell all resistance immediately, fucking immediately. You know, in this article, somebody gets muslim preacher gets 11 years for tearing up a bible because and i thought about that and i thought that can only happen when you're so afraid that you have to

just go to the fucking extremes like we have to protect all holy books we have to protect them because they can't protect themselves because these are bad ideas and deep down we fucking know they're bad ideas and they can't stand up to themselves could you imagine what somebody if you get 11 years for a bible right imagine what happens with the Quran you just get killed you probably you probably get mobbed man yeah

you probably just get fucking mobbed you'd be like I tore up a Quran well we're gonna fucking mob you that's a book man that's a fucking book you know you go into the middle of Tam and tear up fucking the God Delusion. People would just be like, hey, I was going to read that. They'd just be like, cool. You tore a book up.

Good for you. That was foolish. Anti-intellectual. Right. That's a waste of $14.95. Bravo. Here's my Kindle. You want to tear that in half, too?

I know. It's like, and you've said it before, like it's not the only copy. No. You know what? Yeah. It's not like you're tearing up the Constitution. Yeah. In the Smithsonian or wherever it's held.

You break the glass. It's like, well, you tore it up. Oh, now I don't know those ideas. Yeah, I just forgot them. Man. I don't know them anymore. If I didn't have that reference material, then I would have no way to know the information.

Fuck. That sucks. Even as I, it's like breaking an hourglass. The sand is just spilling away. I don't even remember the Ten Commandments after I wrapped the Bible up. If you break an hourglass, time stops. It does. Time just doesn't even work anymore. There's no such thing as before or after break an hourglass, time stops. It does. Time just doesn't, it just doesn't even work anymore.

Like, is there, there's no such thing as before or after. Right, if I learned anything from Prince of Persia, the video game. Hey, Owen, well met, Cecil and Don. It's Andrew, Sir Andrew, or as you heard my email, Andrewid. I have something to posit to you guys. I do not understand your absolute hatred of eggnog. So,

I've decided, since I homebrew as well, I'm a mythologist. I'm going to come up with a new drink for you guys. We're going to call it a Santorum. That's right. It's going to be a Santorum or Jenkum juice, if you prefer. It will be, instead of eggnog, we'll eat Dreg Grog from the Glory Hole Brewery. So this chocolatey eggnog is guaranteed, especially like Jenkum is supposed to do.

You'll get two hurls in one cup. Here's your little song. Horry gory hole-a-poo, yeah. Horry gory hole of poo, yeah. Horry gory hole do do, yeah. Horry gory hole to brew, yeah. Be sure to drain your schlong. Have a nice day, guys. Hey, Cecil and Tom.

I was just about to listen to your 102nd episode when I called just a moment ago, and I left the song, and the first thing I heard was somebody doing the tune to the song that I called just a moment ago and I left the song and the first thing I heard was somebody doing the tune to the song that I had just recorded because I hadn't got to episode 102 yet. Damn it. However, here is one small offering

brainstormed by my dear lady Jen. This is for you guys. My eyes have seen the glory in the coming of the whole. My tongue is licked the vintage from a multitude of pole. I have sapped the salty essence and never even charged at all from the other side. Have a nice day, guys. This story comes from RT.com. Saudi women activists

get jail time for helping starving mother locked in home. A Saudi court sentenced two women to 10 months in prison, along with a two year travel ban after they tried to help a Canadian woman who, with her three children, was denied adequate food and water and was subjected to violence by her Saudi husband. Fuck you, Saudi Arabia. Yeah, no kidding. First off, I want to know how they caught them Because they're obviously ninjas I mean I look at them And I'm like you know they probably just

Couldn't they just poison dart the guard And just get out of there no problem Shurikens flying everywhere Yeah I mean gosh they've got to wear those Little toe shoes and they probably have a grappling Hook on them The police sketch artist like show us what they look like. They all look the same.

They look like ninjas. What the fuck? And they're all ninjas. Yeah. I want to say to anybody who thinks, you know, oh, well, you know, Muslim culture, they get to decide, you know, how they treat their women. And, you know, this is maybe a benefit or not. And it's not up to us to say bullshit. I'm calling bullshit on you, especially when,

I'm going to read to the end of the article here, it says, there's no codified penal law in Saudi Arabia, and we've talked about this many times. It is a legal system based on Islamic law derived from the Quran and traditions of the Prophet Muhammad. That means that judges and prosecutors have a wide latitude to arbitrarily define certain acts as criminal. Saudi Arabia has a guardsmanship system, a strict gender segregation rules that limit women's abilities to make decisions and participate in public life.

Under this system, girls and women are forbidden from traveling, conducting official business or undergoing certain medical procedures without permission from their male guardians. Tell me that's beneficial for society in a single fucking way. I dare you. How the fuck is that possibly beneficial that you basically get married and you have a slave, a slave that has to obey you 100 percent? have a slave, a slave that has to obey you 100%. Yeah, maybe it's beneficial to the dudes, but it's not beneficial to that society as a whole. That is an outrage that something like that even exists today. Yeah. When you look at the charges, the charges were inciting a woman to flee with her children and attempting to turn a woman against her husband. Those aren't even, they're not even laws. Yeah.

That's like not even a thing. Like the charges are shame, shame. That's the charges. The charges are you, you should have just fucking starved to death. You know, this guy, this guy, basically the husband locks the family in the house and left for a week without providing food and water. And what she would, these activists, these fucking radicals who came to save them,

brought them food and water. Because a lot of people are using that these days to stay alive. You know, I wonder if they get $31 a week, maybe. Yeah, right. There you go. Here's your $4.25. Oh, thank you so much much now i can have my fucking

bottle of water for that no the you know you're totally right i mean like like look this this guy basically said you know fend for yourself i'm out i lock you in a house i mean what you know what is she a dog she's worse than a dog because you wouldn't even do that to a dog it it that's that's what was my first thought it's like it's like leaving your dog in a crate and going away for a week. And then you come back and somebody's like, yeah, I let your dog out. And you'd be like, fuck you, go to prison. Like, what? Yeah.

I let your fucking dog out. You were a negligent, even if you own somebody. Yeah. Even if you fucking own somebody, which is fucking horrifying to say out loud. You own somebody. Yeah. Even if you fucking own somebody, which is fucking horrifying to say out loud. You own somebody, you still have to fucking feed and water them. I have a garden I feed and water. A

garden! It's not a person, it's a tomato plant! Yeah. Well, I think that that actually is worth more than a Saudi Arabian woman. I mean, and I'm not even kidding. I'm not even fucking kidding. Like that's the thing is like that's a product that has worth, has value, and they just don't have any value.

And that bullshit, we talk about it every week, but that bullshit like, oh, well, it's their culture. It's a fucking farce of a culture then. You would step in if they – and maybe they wouldn't even step in if they were murdering babies. I was going to say you'd step in if they were murdering babies, but no. I mean in this case, there's a chance those people could have died and nobody cares in that culture. Yeah, and because if you try to rescue them, you get charged with, you know, basically, what is this again?

Attempting to turn a woman against her husband? You're attempting to turn her toward a foods. You know, that's like a crime of like attempting to cover your face while I'm punching it. Right? Like that's not a crime. Yeah. That's just like a natural reaction.

It's like a regular reaction of a human being. What were her fucking options? You know, you read that and it's like, what are your fucking options? Kill yourself or honor kill yourself. Honor kill yourself. Well, kids, you know, dad left. So he didn't bring us any food or water. So I guess we just have to fucking die.

Yay, what a great country! Hey, C-Soul and Tom, this is Amanda from Lynchburg, Virginia. I was just listening to your last episode, and I was so excited. I had to stop in the middle of it to call you, because I have to tell you what Liberty University is like, because I live here, and my dad is a professor

there. It is a concrete jungle. It is nothing but parking lots and buildings, and they are always building something new. Like every year it's insane. Every year they're building like a brand new stadium. We have a fake ski hill where you can ski year-round. It's free. You can just go to it.

They build like new wings and new dorms. And it's just crazy all the time. Literally, you drive down the road and it's, oh, Liberty's building another building. And also, we're up in the mountains. We have these beautiful mountains around us. Liberty went up. They bought the property at the top of the highest mountain. And they kind of, like, just leveled it off until it was flat. And they keep it constantly. I don't know if it's, like, just leveled it off until it was flat. And they keep it constantly.

I don't know if it's, like, rocks or flowers, but they keep it constantly in the design of the Liberty, like, their logo or their mascot or whatever. It's a great big L-U on the top of the mountain. And I can't even tell you, like, how many thousands of feet this thing must be because you can see it literally anywhere in town. And they own half the town. Like, literally, businesses are going out of business all the time because Liberty is buying them because they want the space. And the space really just sits there empty.

But recently they actually bought half of our shopping mall to turn it into a new Coliseum. They bought out Sears and, like, four other of those, like, rake-eating stores that just kind of exist in malls. It is, and they have two Chick-fil-A's, not surprisingly. They are, like, right up next to Walmart. They actually got the city, they used city taxpayer money to build a bridge from the Liberty main parking lot into the Walmart parking lot because they're on opposite sides of the highway and they sell all their merchandise from the

Walmart it's it's okay I'm I'm sorry I'm going on for a long time I just oh it's it's it's insane and if you ever want to come early see Liberty Liberty, you can totally stay with me. It would be awesome. So Cecil, this story comes from the SeattleTimes.com. Fasting woman to end attempt to live on light. Navina Shine. I love the name. The Eastside woman testing whether she could live just on sunshine is calling it quits on Wednesday after losing 20% of her body weight.

Sixty five year old Eastside woman got worldwide publicity for trying to live on light with no food. She's calling it quits to what she was saying was her grand experiment. Six million people underwent the same experiment. None of them lived on light. No. No, they didn't. Fucking ridiculous. You know, the thing that bothers me about this is not that she lived on light or that she tried to live on light and that she stopped.

I don't care. Do what you want. You're a 65-year-old woman. If there is a grown-ass woman, you are it. You know what I mean? You have lived 65 years. I don't know how if you're trying to live on light, but you somehow fumble-fucked your way 65 years through your life. I give a fuck what happens to you.

I honestly could not care less what happens to this person. If you're an adult and you think, you know what? I can live on light. I'm going to try it. Great. But what she says is she says that she's quitting in part because of the public reaction. I was just asking a question, but there was so much negative response. That means that the question can't even be asked. Well, sometimes there's just really stupid questions.

I know. You're not asking yourself, can I survive eating my own shit? Can I human centipede myself? You know, like, no, you're not. You're not asking yourself, can I survive eating my own shit? Can I human centipede myself? You know, like, no, you're not, you're not asking that question. Why not? You know, well, because it's a stupid fucking question. That's why, that's why you're not asking the question. So when somebody says you're a fucking idiot, you need to fucking at least look at that and be like, am I being an idiot? And just, I mean, just fucking consider it for a second. I don't care that this lady lost 25%

of her body weight. I don't care if this lady drops dead. I don't care if this lady bursts into flames. Somebody holds a magnifying glass above her and she lights on fire like you would light an ant on fire. It would not bother me. Doesn't bother me at all. But the idea that she's like mad, that people are

mocking her. You are up. Your idea is stupid. It's mockable. Yeah. Well, and she says she says a few things in here that crack me up. She says that one of the reasons she's calling it quits is because she's run out of money. Was it expensive to not eat food?

I know. What did that cost you? Did you read what she did, though? She bought, she maxes her credit cards buying security cameras that she installed in her trailer to make sure that she wasn't cheating with her food

experiment. Well, you know, I read that, but then I'm like, but that money's already spent. Right? It's spent. Like, are you going to sell the cameras back to buy food now yeah i don't know what she's i don't know what you're right because she's if she i mean maybe rent maybe she just ran out of rent money but but how is eating food now like how is changing like how is eating food going to give her more rent money like you already spent all the money. Like, you already did the foolish thing. And now she's got an extra expense of the

food. Like, some people cut back on food when times are tough. She's actually adding the food. She's like, oh my god, I'm so broke, I gotta go to the grocery store and buy food. Because then I'll have more money.

No. How? What? She says, you know, she wouldn't recommend other people doing this without having their belief systems lined up. What does that even mean? Bitch, you weren't trying to survive on belief. You were trying to survive on sunshine. Yeah. You should get your sunshine lined up.

Oh, man. And you can't fucking photosynthesize because you don't have fucking chlorophyll you non green plant thing How the fuck did she like seriously like what were you gonna fucking believe if you could just believe in something enough Why would you even need the sunshine? I know can't you just believe yourself into living right? I just believed into ATP like that's what I did I believed into fucking a dead anine tries phosphate, that's what I did. I believed into fucking adenine triphosphate. Like, that's what I believed. So now I have fucking energy. Like, I just metabolized.

I just believed into metabolism. That's how it worked. It's so crazy. If you wish really hard for metabolism, it'll just happen. And it says, like, in this thing that four other people have tried to photosynthesize their way into life and died from it.

Right. The experiment's been tried. Like, we have a control group. It's called All the People Who Eat Food. It's a huge control group. Yeah. The experimental group so far has four dead people in it. At what point are you like, I could do that better.

I could do that better. I could do that better. What would you do different? This is the Greta Christina argument, right? The marketplace of ideas argument. Throw your idea out into the marketplace of ideas and let's think about it. Let's talk about it. You throw your idea that, oh, I'm going to live off sunlight. And if you aren't mocked out of the room, you're in the wrong room.

Right. Really, there's – I mean, you're in the wrong room. Right. Really? There's I mean, you know, like it's not me being a skeptic. It's just me being somebody who actually thinks like I thinks a thought. I don't even have to be I don't have to be a skeptic. I don't have to be, you know, a critical thinker. I can just be how I could be fucking six years old and know that this is a bad fucking idea. Well, and isn't this the role of your friends i mean yeah like i mean seriously like i have i'm i'm very fortunate because i have

some very good friends in my life and if i try to do something spectacularly dangerous and stupid the people in my life will fucking look at me and be like that is really stupid and dangerous why are you doing that thing? And I will listen to them because they've been around me for a long time and I respect their opinion. Does nobody around this woman say, hey, you know, you've gone 65 years eating food. Yeah.

Maybe you should keep up that trend. So I got a bit of email. Austin says, this is interesting. This is the weirdest shit you prayed for. So Austin says, I grew up Muslim. And he says, I masturbated for the first time on the night of my 14th birthday. Happy birthday to me. Afterwards, I was shocked that my body was capable of doing that.

However, being 14 years old and quite a late bloomer pubescently, I was left with low self-esteem about the length of my member. Hold on a second. You bloomed? Wait a second. Hold on a second. I'm still waiting. Wait a minute. Wait a second.

Hold on a second. I'm still waiting. Wait a minute. So nightly, from that night to about four months thereafter, I would pray to Allah every night that he would be so gracious as to bless me with a sudden growth spurt down south so that I, and I quote from what I would whisper beneath my sheets before I fall asleep, can one day satisfy a woman. Yeah, I'm still praying for that, it turns out. You know, there's nothing wrong with disappointing. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm still praying for that, it turns out. Yeah, you know, there's nothing wrong with disappointing. I'm just saying. Look, yeah, there's really nothing wrong with it. I've made a livelihood out of disappointing

people. The thing is, if you're a Muslim, you could just marry them and disappoint them, and you could just slap them if they disagree. But they're not allowed to tell you they're disappointed. They can't tell you? Yeah. Are you happy? I'm so happy! Happy! Happy! Happy! Austin, thank you for the email. Are you happy? I'm so happy. Happy, happy. Austin, thank you for the email.

Tom, we got an email from Bart who talks about some interesting, what is it, numbers that got banned? Yeah, in the greater Toronto area, evidently, there's a large East Asian population. And in some Asian cultures, the number four is considered bad luck because it's a homonym for death um and so one municipality north of toronto called richmond hill has banned the number four from new house builds this is just like the fucking crazy assholes yeah who are like yep there's no floor 13 it goes straight to 12 then 14 you're like you realize, there's no floor 13. It goes straight to 12, then 14. You realize that there's still 13 fucking floors. Yeah.

Like, numbers don't just stop working. I love that, too. It's like 13. It's like 12A and 12B, and you're like, I'm on fucking 13 right now. This is 12B. Sequences still work. Yeah. You know, the next number, if you take 12 and you add one that evil spirit is like

the evil spirits got its chalk and it's chalkboard it's like wait a minute now so you have three and you added one is that five now you wrote five but I don't think it's five square root of negative one god damn I'm imaginary you tricksy

humans so Logan sent us Square root of negative one. God damn it, I'm imaginary. You tricksy humans. So Logan sent us an email and he did a skeptics creed for us. And I want to read his PPS here real quick. He says, despite the fact there are a lot of Arkansians, I don't even know how you'd say that, listening, I am your biggest Arkansian fan. Am I saying that right? Arkansian.

Arkansian? No, that's not right. It's Arkansas. It's Arkansas. It's not your Kansas. It's not my Kansas. Arkansian, because that just sounds better. It also sounds kind of like Raiders of the Lost Ark-ish, so I'm going to use that. Despite the fact that there are lots of Arkansians listening, I'm your biggest Arkansian fan. Literally, I'm 6'5", weigh almost 500 pounds, and have bones twice as thick as a normal man.

I'm a goddamn behemoth. So, yeah, I challenge you to have a bigger fan mass-wise than me. Come at me, bros. I love the last line. Come at me. No, Logan, I'm not to have a bigger fan mass-wise than me. Come at me, bros. I love the last line. No, Logan, I'm not going to come at you. But Logan left us a skeptics' creed that we're going to end the show with today. We actually got a lot of them. I'm going to be mentioning them on this show.

But for the next several weeks, we're going to have different skeptics' creeds because a bunch of people have left new ones. Which are all awesome, by the way. So we got a coded message from Matt here, Tom. Why don't you read the beginning of this email? Very clever. Greetings, Tom and Cecil. Love your work.

Only been listening for three weeks, but I'm halfway through your back catalog. Really sorry it's taking me so long, but I promise I'll apply myself for the second half. You guys make it easier to get through my work day of being stuck in a metal box painting machinery. Having listened to so many stories back to back, I've generated a large list of varying comments. Once my plan to steal

the time machine that I ran built is complete, I will get them to you, and you will have already received them soon, which I love that. Lastly, with all the political horseshit that you've brought to my attention, it's actually made me consider getting into politics. And for that, I hate you. Ending on that positive note, here's

what I have to contribute. And very cleverly, the first line from each of those sentences spells out glory hole. And I particularly like that you bolded them for us because I would not have... If he didn't bold them, I would have missed it.

He sent us a couple articles. We checked these out. One of them is from The Onion. Thank you for sending them in, Matt. And we really liked your email. Thank you. I like this email. This one is a stupid thing that Don prayed for. He says, Hey guys, in Podcast 101, you mentioned things you prayed for. I'm reminded hey, guys, in Podcast 101, you mentioned things you prayed for.

I'm reminded of the time when I was about 15, and I prayed to be the best at a particular game in an arcade called Tekken. I used to play Tekken all the time, although I played it on the first Sony, the Sony PS whatever it was. What is it? Sony PlayStation, the very first one, the PS1, whatever it was. I played Tekken on that. But yeah, I remember Tekken. And Tom, you thought that there was another part of this that was pretty funny. Yeah, he said, I said if I got to be the best, I would go to church every Sunday. So after I got a PS2 and said game and spent countless hours

getting better, I was the best at the arcade. But I never saw it that way. I thought God answered my prayer and I never went to church. Anyway, glory hole. I love that you spend all the time doing the work to get good at the thing and then you're like, God did that. God did it. That was God.

Thanks, God. I love that God has nothing else to do but like to make you good at Tekken. But in order to make you good at Tekken, you still have to put in all the time. So we got an email here uh it's from guy and guy is talking about some caves in georgia it says uh he's been exploring caves for 40 years thought you might find this bit of information interesting there's a cave here in

south georgia actually named glory hole um and if that wasn't enough, there's another cave close to Glory Hole called Climax, which is near the town of Climax, Georgia. But wait, that's not all. Also in the same general area of Georgia, there's a small town named Hopeful. Imagine all of that. Glory Hole, Climax at Hopeful, right here in South Georgia, surrounded by churches on almost every corner. I love that.

Awesome. Thank you, Guy. That is great. I did not Google Glory Hole, Georgia. No, I... Just so you know, I didn't Google that because normally my safe search is off and I just don't want to... I had to open an incognito window.

Well, right now we're going gonna pass it to our middle east correspondent hey guys here's another update from the middle east and in other local news saudi police arrested an indonesian housemaid on charges of practicing magic on her employers and seducing their nine-year-old son to have sex with her. The Saudi employer in the western town of Mecca reported the maid to the police, saying she had been involved in sorcery to control all his family members. The maid later confessed to practicing witchcraft and forcing her employer's son to have sex with her at the house, according to Arabic Language Daily, which gave no further details.

Thanks, and keep tuned. Thank you, Stu, for your diligence in the Middle East. That's awesome. You're going to die. I'm going to feel bad. We got an email from Matt, and Matt sent us an image. It's a glory hole image with Jesus. And I'm going to put it on this episode of Cognitive Dissonance.

So if you go to our website, it will be listed on the episode. It will be one of the images. It's such a sad Jesus, too. Yeah, he's such a sad Jesus. Well, he's standing by the glory hole waiting for something. He is unsatisfied. Tom, we got an email from Mark. He is such a sad Jesus. Well, he's standing by the glory hole waiting for something. He is unsatisfied. Tom, we got an email from Mark.

Why don't you go ahead and read it? Okay, first of all, I am a Canadian. So when I speak of abstinence education, it's the holistic approach that teaches all aspects of human sexuality. Okay, glory holes don't make it in. From the perspective of an absolute risk of STDs in pregnancy, not having sex is 100% effective. I'm not defending or encouraging abstinence-only education or any restrictions on teaching anything else, but I think to belittle something that's 100% effective, because unfortunately it's used by crazy white ringers to push Christianity into the classroom, is not right. All the best, Mark. Yeah, I think the problem is that you are Canadian,

so you don't understand what they're doing. They are not teaching sex education. They are teaching abstinence only. So when they come into a room and they say, they basically give you misinformation. So you could come into a room and teach people about dieting and be like, the best way not to gain any weight is to not eat any food. You know when you walk out of that room that that's not a valid thing that somebody can follow. You can't just not eat food. We talked about that earlier with the person who's trying to survive in sunlight. You can't just not eat a food. So when you go into a classroom and you say these things and you just – you basically are, you're not giving them any

alternatives. You're not saying you're not teaching a holistic approach. You're saying when you have sex with a bunch of people, it's like spitting in a cup and drinking it. That's not explaining sexuality. That's not explaining why you're attracted or, you know, what's going on in your body or, you know, what the release mechanisms are for that. You're not explaining any of those things. What you're doing is you're saying it's bad. Don't do it, period. Now, yeah, 100 percent effective. You're absolutely right.

Do I think that's a that's a that that is a goal that most people can achieve? No, I don't think it is. I think in our culture and in Western culture specifically, and I know that might be different in other cultures, but in our culture, I don't think that's a, that's not a milestone. I think that kids can, you know, that's not something kids can shoot for. I think that, you know, they're going to be alone around the opposite sex. They're going to get curious. Their hormones are going to get the better of them and they're going to have sex. Now, if you give them opportunities or ways in which to alleviate themselves without actual penetration or by giving

them some sort of protection, whether that be birth control or condoms or something. I think you can reduce teen pregnancy. I think you can reduce the stigma of sex. And I think you could, you know, have a more healthy society. Do I think abstinence only education is a good idea? Abso-fucking-lutely not. I do not think that's a good idea at all. Well, and, you know, the problem is that they don't teach, they teach only abstinence. It's abstinence only. They're not teaching, you know,

it'd be like teaching driver's ed and saying the best way to, you know, avoid car accidents is to not get in cars. Well, okay. Thanks for the fucking useless information. That doesn't help me navigate my life. Yeah. Sex education should help you navigate your life. If you teach people that only abstinence is the viable option, then you're not giving them an education. And it's been proven to be ineffective here in the States.

It is. I mean, you don't have to. This is not. You don't have to guess. We don't have to debate about it. Abstinence only states have higher teen pregnancy rates, higher STD rates. It is ineffective. Yeah. So when, when the, if they were to teach it in the way that you say, and you know, that may, you know, I, I don't know how that would work if they were to teach

it in a holistic way and say, look, you know, 100% effective, you know, you could do this. And somebody chose to do that. And, and it wound up being 100% effective for him. Sure. I don't think I could begrudge that person, but you know, there's, there's a lot going into this. You know, there's a stigma of sex. There's the Christianity thing and they're not teaching that holistic approach that you seem that you think that they're going to teach.

They're not going to teach that. No. We got an email from Kosh, and Kosh sent us – he wound up sending us a glory hole song. It's basically Tom's Skeptic's Creed that's been put into sort of like an electronica beat. We're going to play it next week. So next week is Kosh's. We don't want to play all of them at the same time. I want to sort of space them out.

So we want to thank Kosh for sending in his skeptics creed. I like all these people making it better. Yeah. It's pretty easy, though. I know, right? I mean, actually, it's pretty easy. You don't have to improve much to get past the original. Right, right. So Anne sent us an email, and Anne didn't realize that education was inherently religious.

And in that revisionary movie that we watched, you could tell that they were trying to insert religion and insert conservative culture, neocon culture into textbooks. But there's a part of this email that we wanted to read, and it's at the very end here. Yeah, I love it. She says, thanks for your time. I need to go walk my dinosaur, take a morning after pill just for spite, and attend a gay wedding. Glorio. I love it.

I love it. That's great. Just for spite. Yeah, I'm just going to have one. I'm just going to have one too. Tom Rich sent us an email, and you thought this one was pretty good. One of my cousins has a habit of asking everyone to pray for people on ending with a smug. No need for names.

God will know. Every time I read this, I want to respond. So let me get this straight. Your all-powerful deity knows that your sister-in-law's cousin's friend's eight-year-old daughter is heroically battling leukemia, but he's holding her health hostage until enough of your Facebook friends, people who don't even know her name, beg him to cure her. Then your God is an asshole. Yeah, I love that.

That's great, Rich. That's great, Rich. Awesome. That's not something you can post, but it is something you can invent. We got an email from Cameron with a sign that's written in Klingon. I think he's somewhere. He took the Starship Enterprise somewhere in his shirt and he landed on an alien planet

in, what is that, Deutsche Land? I don't even know what that is. Evidently, wherever it is, evidently, it's crazy grainy pixelization land. It's very green and very pixelated no but awesome yeah cameron sent us a uh uh and a nice image of himself and a t-shirt and uh and underneath a sign in deutschland so we're gonna post this as well to this episode of cognitive dissonance and see so when you saw him standing hip deep in that brush, was your first thought, I wonder if they have tics in Germany?

Yeah. No. They have Lyme disease over there. Tom, Wally Weeksauce makes us laugh a lot. He sent us another email that made us laugh. He did. It says, after hearing your recent piece on Tom's ex-agreed-upon causes of homosexuality, I thought I'd put the self-will part to the test.

I went to the mall with my kids last night and took with me a steely resolve and an unyielding self-will to be homosexual. Self-will to be homosexual. I love it. I openly gawked at every male's bottom and tried to imagine their packages as I walked through the halls. Also, when I found my eyes drawn to women's bottoms, I tried to imagine awful images like grandma underpants and parasitic worms.

Parasitic worms! So I would get past any past connections to pleasurable associations. It was a strange experience, especially when my wife took me to the Yankee Candle Store and I saw a lot of women's bottoms that didn't really require my techniques to disassociate women's bottoms with pleasure because there were some strange looking ladies in there all I can say is this morning I woke up

largely straight largely straight I guess the take home Tom's Act message is that those gays really have to put their minds to it and stick with their commitment you have to admire that minds to it and stick with their commitment. You have to admire that at least. That was awesome. That is so funny.

Well done, Wally. That's great. Keep on keeping on, Wally. Eric sent us a very, very sort of metal-y version. Super metal. It's awesome. Of the Skeptic's Creed. I love it. So that is another week in advance of the Skeptic's Creed. I love it. So that is another week in advance

of the Skeptic's Creed, so we'll mention it later on when we get to in a couple weeks when we mention it again, but Eric, thank you for sending it in. Thanks, man. It's awesome. Cameron sent in a message and he said, Glory Hole, once again, sometimes there's a win, and he sent in an article where, I guess there was a mass grave.

And I think we talked about this a while back. There was a mass grave report. Right. There's a psychic who said, hey, there's 30 dismembered bodies, including children in a mass grave. And a bunch of people went over there like to check it out and nothing. Yeah. They had like fucking police dogs. They were digging shit up.

There was supposed to be these dismembered children and all kinds of shit. And they fucking trashed these people's property. They just trashed it. And the psychic is being sued. And good. Fuck you, psychic. You time and energy resource wasting liar. Yeah, seven million, man.

Fucking take that shit. That's great. I love it. I, he also sent a picture of the flight of the Concords. Oh, this is so funny. Little thing where,

um, they're talking back and forth. And, uh, one of the guys says to the other, he says, nah, my,

my father is a woman's right at rights activist. And the other guy goes, no, not your mom. And he's like, no, no mom. No,

no, dad wouldn't allow that no way that's great i love that i love that he has a shirt on with giraffes on it too he's got like a big shirt with giraffes flight of the concords is hilarious that's so funny thank you cameron for sending that in and uh our final uh in a couple weeks uh actually this is now four weeks in advance Brian sends in a version of the Skeptic's Creed as well it's like a quasi-commercial so we're going to play this in four weeks when we play it but Brian we want to thank you for sending in the Skeptic's Creed as well

so this week on Facebook I think I happen to be friends with uh this gentleman by the name of matt um there was a kickstarter that came across and uh and it was like a kickstarter like thing i don't know if it is exactly kickstarter but it's uh it's for a film called shadows in the grass and uh and i clicked on it and I watched the original movie, the first movie that's called Blindspot that this person produced. And I got to say, Blindspot was great. What Blindspot is, and I don't want to ruin it, but it's somebody who's on a phone call trying to change their airline tickets in the car. And it's actually very, very clever.

So if you, I don't want to ruin it for you, but it took me, I would say a very long time to figure out what was actually happening in it. And after I did, I was like, that's pretty clever. So it's actually very, very well done. So we're going to link to not only the original short film Blindspot, but we're also going to link to his new movie project, Shadows in the Grass. And there's a Facebook page as well. Matt is a talented filmmaker. I really enjoyed Blindspot. And I think that, you know, this is something that if people wanted to donate some money to see a independent filmmaker out there make something, this might be something you might want to throw your money at.

We'll put it on our site for this episode, Matt. We got to thank Andy, British Andy. Gosh, British Andy. I didn't even think he still listened. I didn't either. Motherfucker's been with us forever. I haven't heard from him in so long, but British Andy, he's

been with us since,, gosh, like maybe like episode, you know, 20 of cognitive dissonance or something. Uh, so for years we've, we've been in contact with British Andy and, uh, and he did just a wonderful caricature of us. Um, and so we put it up on the Facebook page and on Google plus. So if you haven't seen it, go to our Facebook page and click on it. Even if you don't like Facebook, you can still get to our page, I think, even if you don't like our page. So you can go to our website, and at the top there's a Facebook link. You can just click on it. But he did this great caricature of us, and it's wonderful.

And actually, to be honest, he made two shirt ideas that we're totally going to steal. They're great shirt ideas. They're great. I love, too, that Andy drew caricatures of us that look better than the actual us. Yeah, well, that wasn't hard, though. Right, I know. I mean, he could draw stick figures

and they would look better than us. But he did. So appreciative, man. It's such a cool thing to do. It was a very cool thing to do. And those shirt ideas are great. So I'm going to get somebody on those to try to actually do the the um the design on it because i've got to get

it in like an eps file or whatever to send it out to uh to the guy who does our shirts but i think you know we're going to change it to agnostic egg nog stick which that was what somebody suggested which i thought was pretty clever because he said agnostic and then somebody was like no make it egg nog stick and so that was a pretty clever because he said agnostic. And then somebody was like, no, make it eggnog stick. And so that was a pretty clever thing. And then the glory hole shirt is great. It's so funny. It's a funny, dirty, dirty shirt.

And it's awesome. And if somebody, you know, I wouldn't wear anything like that around. But, you know, best of luck to you. And it's so funny because when I, as soon as I post, people are like, you have to make these shirts. Right. So evidently people don't give a fuck. They're going to wear it, and that's awesome. Good for you.

We got a couple of – obviously, we played a voicemail earlier about us going to Liberty University, but we got an email from Catherine who does not like Liberty University at all. Oh, no, she does. She says she becomes the Hulk whenever Liberty University is brought up in conversation. On top of scamming kids with financial aid, like offering a bunch of grant aid for the first year to entice them to come over, and then essentially dropping the aid after that, it has an appalling code of conduct. When I was college advising, I would show the Liberty way to students in hopes of convincing them to reconsider. advising, I would show the Liberty way to students in hopes of convincing them to reconsider.

Just man, the hate for Liberty University is just palpable in this email. And it's evident why. Yeah. Oh, man. Well, it's, you know, their code of conduct is absolutely abhorrent. So this is, you know, just just do a Google search for it. It's just I mean, this is ridiculous. But, you know, good for you for trying to convince people to stay away from there, Catherine. You know, because that's, I mean, gosh, that, you know, they don't need any help.

And they are a for-profit university. I mean, they're just, you know, they're just shitting out, probably shitting out terrible degrees for these people. They have a curfew, Cecil. Oh, I know. It's a college with a curfew. Simon sent us a message. it's a college with a curfew Simon sent us a message and he submitted

he was the one person who submitted a Yahweh or the highway image I'm going to put it on this episode so look for Yahweh or the highway and the image is great my favorite is the

in the background the bottle caps on the crown for God is awesome. So check out this Yahweh or the highway. He also says that he would really appreciate a small shout out for his website. He's a struggling artist in New Zealand. So I'm going to share this website on this episode of Cognitive Dissonance. So go ahead and check it out. It's Shine Darlington.

I'm not going to spell that. Go to our website, DissonancePod. It's episode 104. You'll be able to find it. Tom, we got an email from Trey, and Trey says, Big glory hole, love the show. As a biological anthropologist, the attempts to adopt healthy debate language in science text make me want to waterboard the perpetrators with eggnog.

Yeah, that's a blargle my friend that is that is a that's the fucking worst of the worst that really is i'd rather have my fucking nipples electrocuted weekend at guantanamo yeah i'll take it yeah okay yeah club met it is sounds good stewart sent us a message, and Stuart just found us. And it's funny because Stuart's message went to spam. I had to go into the spam folder to let it out. I don't know what you did, Stuart. But Stuart sent us a message, and he said that he's lifting weights, and he made the mistake of trying to do bench presses while we made him laugh.

And he almost dropped the bar. So he's doing it while he's listening to our program while he's walking or biking instead now, which is probably a good idea. He says that he wound up – he actually has a podcast, and it's Exposing Pseudo-Astronomy. So we'll put a link to his podcast on this episode of it's 104 dissonance pod dot com. You can find it. He has on. He had dumbass on his show on episode 18. So if you're a fan of dumbass show and you want to catch dumbass, you can also catch him on exposing astronomy, exposing pseudo astronomy, which is a Stewart's podcast. a Stewart's podcast. Um, and he also says that he's going to be, uh, doing a, uh, workshop called, uh, how your camera lies to you. Um, so that's great. Uh, we're not going to be there at eight in the morning on Thursday. We're not coming to any of those, uh, those workshops where we

didn't pay for those workshops. Um, but we are going to be there Thursday evening and we'll be at the, uh, at the meet and greet. So if you show up and you're in your green tie or not in your green tie, just show up and say, hey, Stuart, we'd love to talk to you. Anybody who's at Tam, you know, and you're a Tam, you want to see us. We'll be at that party. We'll be drinking whatever the drinks are. I don't know if they're free drinks or not, if they're by drinks, if they're by drinks, it's going to be bourbon. If they're free drinks, it's going to be bourbon. If they're free drinks, it's going to be the best beer

they probably have. But whatever that is, what is that going to be? Miller Lite? Oh, don't say it. Don't say it. Yeah, no, that's what's going to I mean, come on. Whenever it's like a free open bar, all you get is macro. So, yeah, we'll be drinking a beer there, and then we'll probably head on

over to the bar and hang out for a little while and drink bourbon until we're ready to pass out. But we'll be there Thursday night all night, so come check us out. If you are at TAM and you want to just say, hey, we'd love to meet you, so come on over and see us at the meet and greet at TAM, which I think is at 7 o'clock on Thursday. Yeah, absolutely. Sounds great, and I'm sorry we're not going to be able to get to your workshop. We're just not going to be in on time. Yeah, we're just not even going to be there at that point.

All right, so that wraps it up for this episode um we are going to leave you with the skeptics creed although this time it is logan's skeptics creed thanks for joining us we'll catch you next time for episode 105 hey tom and cecil this is logan from arkansas and i thought that today i would lead us all in the skeptics's creed. So please, if you're listening to the sound of my voice, put your hand over your heart and repeat after me. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

Couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative acupuncture, waiting, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy healing, watered-downward spiral, brain-dead pan, sales pitch, late-night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, reflex, foot massage, death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues,

temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands bloody.

Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt. Even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives,

employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Bye.