Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 117: Revelations Sucks

Episode Date: September 22, 2013

We review revelations. You can find it in any bible.

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. do i do the cognitive distance thing yeah sure what the hell this the cognitive distance thing? Yeah, sure. What the hell? This is Cognitive Distance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome at this episode. 117. 117. 117. 117. 117. It's not written downtown, that's why I had to help you. I didn't know if you were going to put this as 118 or what, because we're recording three episodes today. Right, but no, this one's going to come before the other one, I think. This is episode 117.

117. That's what the man says, the man in charge. Yes. This is a very special show, show cecil this is our revelation special it is you know the intro says it's you know it's uh it's about news but it's also about stuff that makes us mad and nothing made me more mad than sitting down to read revelations it's boring it's the most bored i've ever been in 27 pages i I thought it'd be funnier, Tom. I really thought. Because, you know, that little segment you read was fucking gold.

It was gold, Tom. I know, I know, but I'm a cherry picker. The rest of it is really not good. No, it's really, really not. Revelation is, well, it's been revealed to me to be some bullshit. Yeah. You read this thing,

and it is a repetitive word salad of nonsense. Everything is seven of something. Like, it's constantly seven of this and ten of those and three of these. And it's just – but I got to tell you, I do feel like I understand better how the end of the world is going to work. feel like I understand better how the end of the world is going to work. I understand that now when it all comes to

fruition at the very end, it will be because an angel or something had a sword in its mouth and puked into a bowl and poured the bowl into a river and then the river turned to a poo and then everybody died. The river turned to a poo and then everybody died.

Yeah, the river turned to a poo. You know what this reminds me of is, I don't know if you remember, but Nine Inch Nails used to tour with this weird show of people who used to hang shit from their nipples and their balls. You know what I mean?

That's what this reminds me of. And then there was this sword in his mouth and then they dumped the bowl on the blood and the blood came to blood and the boo and the blah. You remind me of is like is like and then there was a sword in his mouth and then they dumped the bowl on the blood and the blood came the blood and the boo and the blood and you're just like you remind me of like those people who like fucking hang shit from their ears and like get shot out of like a cannon or you know i mean what was it like a freak show yeah it was like a traveling freak show like a traveling yeah it just reminds me of that i'm just like okay you got those guys like a blood-filled burlesque show it's like yeah stupid like oh look at that guy's hanging shit from his scrotum you're just like i came here to see a guy play synthesizer where's that guy i actually came here to watch a guy pretend to

play synthesizer fucking i was at a nine inch show years ago, and he's playing away. And I think he's on the guitar at this point, and he's got a guy who's kind of wailing away on the synthesizer. So the guy's playing on the keyboard, and he's rocking, and he's headbanging, and he's playing on the keyboard. And he's rocking away on his guitar. He's got his guitar, and he walks up, and he kicks the fucking synthesizer, and it falls to the ground. And the guy's just standing there like, oh, and the key line keeps going. And I'm just like, you are filling no one here, sir. No one is fooled at this point.

The guy like hurriedly sets it back up and like keeps playing, doesn't miss a beat. And you're like, you stop playing that for a full minute and a half. Like you clearly you're not playing this music. He just played ahead. That's what you didn't know. this music he just played ahead that's what you didn't know like he was just playing ahead he was playing on a delay just just because he's he's like he's like he's been on this ride before he started the concert the night before he's been playing it he's streaming it's funny though because i he buffered his own music somehow

i saw it's funny you say i sawch Nails like three or four years ago. Was he huge then? Yeah, he's all like buffed out now. He's all diesel now, yeah. And like old, so he's not cool at all anymore. So he like plays the songs and the songs still like, I actually like Nine Inch Nails. So like the songs still sound good,. It sounds the way it should sound. But at one point, he's on the front of the stage jumping with his hands in the air, clapping.

You know, like, yeah! Woo! And you're like, please kick the synthesizer over. Can you beat up the bassist real quick? Can you harken back to the days of old when you used to like masturbate on stage? I just wanted to go up to him and be like, here's an all the heroin. You used to be cool, man. Like now you're a guy that used to be cool.

Like this is a man who clearly mows his own lawn. I'm just saying. I don't know what that means. Oh, that's a good line, though. I like it. Well, Revelation. Let's talk, Cecil. Revelation.

Let's talk about Revelation. Because we fucking read this thing. We did read it. Before we get started, I just want to say, when I was growing up, now, you didn't grow up religious. Now, you didn't grow up religious. But I grew up quasi-religious. And I remember maybe four or five times in my life where somebody sat me down to tell me about Revelation. Wow.

And scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I remember one of my teachers in grade school did it. Like at one point, like one of the teachers was like talking about the end times and like how the prophecies are coming true and how – I mean like we spent an entire math class one day talking about it. I remember talking – For real? We're doing fractions for crying out loud. In math class? Yeah, in math, dude. I remember – and I remember being terrified of it. I remember being so afraid of it. I remember one day like – because – and it was like nightmare fuel. Like the stuff that they talk about, it's not any – I mean first off, this whole thing is just goofy.

How goofy and stupid is this? Like, I mean, when I was a kid, it scared the shit out of me. It's like watching Nightmare on Elm Street or something or Hellraiser today. When I watched it when I was a kid, I fucking had to control my colon from not shitting myself. You know what I mean? Because I was so terrified of what was happening. I watch it now and I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I mean, that's what I was afraid of that. This is the most comical thing I've ever seen in my life.

And I was terrified of this. But, you know, like the thing is, is you read it and you read about the fucking the donkeys that are like locusts that fucking have human faces and sing like fucking sirens or whatever. And you're just like, that's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard. You know, like that is stupid. But when I was a kid, it scared the shit out of me. And I remember we were traveling between two houses. And these were kids in the same class as me, right? So this guy goes on this rant about the end times.

And he scared the hell out of the whole class. And I remember walking from a friend's place to another place, walking by a church. And I remember all of us went inside to go pray that day because we were so afraid of like the end times. Holy shit. And I just look back on that and how silly I feel now looking at that and wasting all that energy I wasted on such a ridiculous fucking Rumpelstiltskin story. And I feel like a fool afterwards.

I mean, I really do. I look at my young self and think you should have just read it because you probably would have laughed your ass off if you read it. But Cecil, you can't feel like a fool. It just worked. Like nothing happened, right? Like you weren't the guy – I mean for real. It just did what it was supposed to do. Like it was just effective because you happen to be young and impressionable.

Right. That's all that shit is. Like, I mean, it's just like a horror movie. It's the exact same thing. If you're scared during a horror movie, it worked. Like then the horror movie was a success. Like it's like, okay, we set out with a goal to do a thing. Like we have a jump scare at 12 minutes and 21 seconds in.

So let's see. Did our audience react? Oh, they jumped. OK, good. It was effective. Yeah. I mean, all that happened was the book did the thing it was supposed to do. You're supposed to get these stories when you're young. You know, let's let's make let's make that very, very clear. You are supposed to get the Bible, all these religious nonsense. You have to get this shit when you're young. If you get this as a non-religious person as an adult, it's just noise. I mean it really is.

It's just noise. It cannot make it past an adult man or woman's filters unless some shit is wrong or broken or whatever. Or you grow up with it, right? I mean I'm sure there's plenty of people who read this as an adult and fucking wet their bed sure but you had to have gotten it as a kid first yeah you have to you have to have some sort of connection to this because i had it as a kid and then i thought about it and i'm like what wait a minute are you saying that he was fucking had a two-handed sword out of his mouth how does that work?

You know, I don't know. How do you want to approach this thing, Cecil? Because I think I think why don't we just read some of the parts that we thought were kind of interesting and maybe talk about them a bit. OK, sure. Well, I made some I made some notes, but I'm not going to be I'm not going to lie about it. I gave up after a while because every line was so crazy. Yeah, I got some in here, too. And why don't I give it a start here? And this is, I think, one of the

major points I want to point out about this. I'm going to read this here real quick. This is chapter verse 1 number 16. Oh, crap, my Kindle just moved on me. Hold on a second. Sorry, I'm not used to these newfangled devices to

read things on. I'm just like, look at me! I can touch a thing and then it just fucking moves to another area which is awesome so now i've got to find i got a few my notes every few minutes i gotta be like i click because if i click too far on the right it just goes to another place so anyway uh it's verse one or revelation one chapter 16 okay Okay. So this is, this is talking about the fucking goofy angel that comes down with the seven golden lampstands or whatever that are in the sky. Lampstands. I love lampstands.

It's like, I'm going to tell my wife we need a nice lampstand. You carry seven lampstands too. I don't know. You can't get a second angel to hook you up. Like seven boys that you fucked to death earlier. Can you imagine, like, you're coming down, like, God's like, all right, we got to send this vision. Here's seven lampstands.

Like, you look at him like, I got two fucking arms, God. Thanks, dick. Why did you send DHL, God? So here's what it says. Verse 16. In his right hand, he held seven stars. From his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength. So I don't really care about the two-edged sword in his mouth because that's just stupid.

I don't even know what the fuck that means. Maybe it means like fucking he was like a wicked rapper and he could like destroy everybody. Maybe that's what that means. I don't know. And lo, he stopped, Yeah. Collaborated and listened. And he listened. And he dropped the beat on those fools. No, but like the first part and the last part.

In his right hand, he held seven stars. And his face was like the sun shining in full strength. Okay. This is a group of people who clearly have no idea how the universe actually functions right in his hand he's holding seven suns okay but in his face it is shining like the sun in his hand he's holding seven of the things that is one of the things that is happening on his face i know you clearly have no idea what the stars are you are a hill people looking up at the sky and thinking it is an actual curtain that is the sky and there are pinpricks and those are

like the fucking light that's behind it or something you don't know that those are either galaxies or fucking stars or whatever it is you're looking at a globular fucking cluster that you're looking at that is the bright thing in the sky you have no is you're looking at a globular fucking cluster that you're looking at that is the bright thing in the sky you have no idea you're like oh well that's that that is obviously small because your your brain is so simple back then you're like that is smaller than the sun therefore it is lit as fucking i can hold seven of them where the sun i can only hold one right right and it's it you're there's there's no understanding. And this revelation like points out many, many times that their understanding of's just, you read this and it's like, this is not written for like the Inuit people. Like, how is this supposed to speak to like the Inuit people?

And in fact, in fact, I've got a, uh, let me find it real quick. I've got one in here that it says this son, I don't, I don't know what chapter and verse, I'm sorry. Um, the sun shall not strike them nor any scorching heat. And he will guide them to the springs of living water um and he's talking about like rewarding like a group of people and and it's like well that's great if you're a desert dweller like those are desert luxuries like those are luxuries granted to people who are worried about the scorching sun and like concerned about when they're going to find water next um those would be irrelevant to people like that are fucking Inuit, for example,

or that live in a temperate region, which with, you know, ready and easy access to water. Like that's clearly written for a small group of people. There's no way God's going to be like, don't worry, the scorching sun won't get you. And why am I Irish? But still, you know, like the scorching sun won't get you and we'll make sure. You would be fucked up by the scorching sun. Now I'm going to get it. So would I.

I'm a chud. I would fucking, I would ignite in the scorching sun. Cue the emails from people like, you're not Irish, you're American. It's a joke. Yeah. Yeah, man. It just reveals that there's no understanding of how the natural world works at all. At all. And there's a funny line in here, too, that I want to. And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around.

Huh? We're talking about an ox. the four living creatures are an ox an eagle a dude and a lion they all have six wings why are you giving the eagle extra wings the eagle was fine like now you've got this they had a bad like a case of red and then all the elders are constantly throwing themselves on the ground. Like there's – at one point it's like – and then there's a throne. And then there's 24 more thrones. And I'm like, okay, so I've got 25 thrones.

Can you just say – it's not four score and seven years ago, bro. I'm good. Just start with 25 arranged in a circle around a single throne like what the you don't have to tell me if one and then you have 24 more like now i have to do math are you kidding i love that verse that you're talking about that's versa that's chapter three verse eight it says in the four living creatures each of them's with six wings and full of eyes all around and within like that's the weird thing like you cut them open and six wings and full of eyes all around and within. Like that's the weird thing. Like you cut them open and they're just full of eyes.

Just like pour right out. Just like eyes just keep popping out. And it says, and day and night they never cease to say, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty. And who has and is and is to come. What a weird and odd thing to say. Well, I mean if that's what you had to say all the time. Well, if you're full of eyes, that's what you have to say. And the eagle is saying that?

The eagle is like. The eagle in between it tearing apart a salmon says, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty. I want to know how big the wings on an ox have to be. They got to be fucking huge. No, they're buffalo wings. What's that? They're buffalo wings. That's the thing.

They're just dripping with like spicy goodness. Delicious little bakery sauce all over them. Now it all comes together. That's why they have six wings. They do? Yeah, because you got this. Yeah, exactly. You went to Hooters. You order them by the half wings. They do? Yeah, because you got this. Yeah, exactly. You went to Hooters.

You order them by the half dozen. Yeah, you got them by the half dozen. They come with those celery sticks that nobody eats. You got to get the drumsticks, though, because that's the bigger. Yeah, the drumsticks are good. That's the better. Actually, buffalo sauce makes me sick to my stomach. Does it really?

You know, I had it once at like a Chili's. I like ordered it because I'm like – I'm a fat guy, right? So like fucking food in general is good to me. It's like it doesn't matter what it is. Like, oh, you mixed up some slop. Oh, that's good. I'll eat it. Oh, that's just like fucking like what you had that was in the drain in your fucking sink.

That's fine. I'll eat it. But anyway, like I go to this thing and I ordered buffalo wings and I ate them and I was like, oh, yeah, buffalo wings. I went home and I threw up because I was sick from the food poisoning that I got there. And so I never order them again. I'm just like every time I smell it, I kind of get a little sick. It's like when you had tequila and you just like drank your tequila and you're like, oh, man, I had too much tequila. And now whenever you smell it, you're like, I can't drink that.

Same thing with me now with buffalo wings. Oh, dude, you got buffalo winged. That sucks. I did, man. I fucking – it's not a thing. It's not good, dude, because buffalo sauce is actually a tasty thing. I love buffalo wings, man. I would – if there was an oxen with six wings, I would fuck – I would dip that fucking thing live in buffalo sauce.

I would eat the fuck out of its eyes. I would – Oh, my gosh. So many eyes. If it's covered in eyes sauce i would eat the fuck out of its eyes oh my gosh that would be delectable you wouldn't have any shortage of eyes because they're all within and without and outside i found i found a chapter two where they talk about it's not a mortal wound here but it's very similar it says a lamb standing as though it had been slain with seven horns and seven eyes which were seven spirits of god God sent out into all of the earth. And I'm thinking a lamb standing as though it had been slain.

I have never seen anything stand as though it had been slain. Cecil, I have to read you my exact note. Okay. I saw a lamb standing as though it had been slain. Wait, huh? I have never seen a dead lamb standing. That's not a thing. But at least it has seven horns and seven eyes.

So there you go. There you go. There you go. I love that too. It's like – because when you go to the – when they run the creatures through the slaughterhouse, they just stand up straight until they get to the butchery part of the thing. I actually buy them like that. I buy them all skinned. And then they just stand up straight.

They're like, yes, we will stand at attention until you butcher us. And after, it doesn't even matter. Like they just – you reassemble all the cuts into – it's like a puzzle. That's how they ship them. They ship them in those cattle cars still in cattle shapes. It's like chicken tenders, like shaped like dinosaurs or something. Shaped like dinosaurs. I remember selling those when I was at,

I worked at a Burger King for a while and Jurassic Park like nine or whatever came out. Yeah, yeah. And they had chicken tenders that were shaped like dinosaurs. And I remember thinking like. Like little Varasa raptors? This is a terrible insult to the chicken. Like the chicken is like,

it's like, thanks for dying for me. I'm going to eat you, but I'm going to shape you into something cooler. It's like stuffing something else into like a clamshell. I know. It's like, man, you took my shell. What the fuck? I love when you get like a crab stuffed with its own guts.

Like as a deck, like you're using the carcass of the thing as a decoration. Oh, that's awesome. That's how I want to be displayed in my, like when I die, I want to have like an open casket and like all my meat cooked and displayed in my carcass. I think that would be – They have like a nice braise and then there's like a – they take the loin and they cook that, sear that off real nice. Right. I would just say like one last barbecue. Yeah.

you know one last barbecue you know yeah i i i specifically there's there's another part where they don't understand how the the universe works either where they say um this is verse 12 when he opened the sixth seal i look and behold there was a great earthquake and the sun became black as sack cloth what the fuck is sack cloth i don't know't know, but it's real black, you know. It's black, though. It's totally black. And full moon became like blood, and the stars of the sky fell to the earth. That's... As the fig tree sheds its winter fruit when shaken by a gale. And I'm thinking, okay, again, you don't understand.

If a star were to hit the earth and fall... First off, multiple stars would never have an opportunity to hit the earth, right? Like you get one star, you get a star to hit the earth and that's it. You don't get multiple stars to fall to the earth. So clearly these are people who don't understand what is happening in the universe. So it's like, well, stars are falling from the sky. Yeah. Cause they look small when they're really far away.

But when you're right up close to them, they're a million times bigger than the earth yeah it's like it couldn't even reach the earth because it would incinerate it beforehand right you would you would be so you look the closest you could get is like mercury distance you know it would be like it would seriously be like dropping a ball of lava onto a dust speck you know and plus like how would that gravity situation work they fall to the earth well uh no they're not they can't they're not suspended up in the sky like by wires or something like just and if i gotta i gotta say too you know when the stars are falling to the earth that feels like a big deal in comparison to an earthquake, you know, when the stars are falling to the earth, that feels like a big deal in comparison to an earthquake. Right?

You know what I mean? Like, well, there's a great earthquake. You know, by the way, the last thing I'm going to mention is the stars are falling. You're like, oh, well, you know what? The fucking sun becoming black, the moon becoming blood, and earthquake are nothing compared to several stars smashing into the planet. Well, and it's so funny because you read revelation so many times in here it's it's like god's gonna fucking kill everybody but it's gonna take a really long time he's doing stages like he's got like a 77 step plan to like kill all these people but he's constantly doing things that would kill everybody right away yeah like one thing would

kill everyone it's like the sun turned black. Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. We need light. Like light is the source of energy. Exactly right. Everybody's dead. It's like the Matrix without it. Like you got to fucking dig into the planet and eat gruel. That's what you get to do.

You got to like burrow to the – you got to HG Wells that shit. You got to burrow down toward the core. Everybody dies like 150 times. You read this thing and it's like, well, the sun turned black. Okay, well, I presume there's no more heat then. So we were using that. And then also no light. So we were kind of using that.

So everybody's dead. You don't have to do anything else. But he continues to do other shit, Cecil, because he continues. At one point, he calls out angels with bowls because that's how you. Dude, they all smoked bowls. They were awesome. Did you smoke that fucking? Whoa, man.

What if C.A.T. really spelled God? I think it's chapter 17 let me go to it real quick because i think that's that's where he like they they start rolling out with these these bowls and pouring the evil you know like a fucking paper mill into a local stream yeah into the into the earth and the the bowls yeah the seven angels with the seven plagues uh it starts at uh chapter 15 um and i and i love too that at one point in here that is like yeah and there was some gold and it was clear as glass yeah how would it be still gold what What? Then, if it's clear as glass, wouldn't it just be clear? How?

What? What? Is gold as clear as glass? Okay, fair enough. So anyway, the angels come out and they have seven plagues. So they're like, hey, what's up? How you doing? I got fucking seven bowls of God's wrath.

I got seven things for you, bro. And they go out and the very first one, like, goes out and he just pours a bowl. And the first bowl isn't so bad, right? It's just like I got a bowl and I poured it out right on the earth like the Sherwin-Williams paint. Like – and everybody gets harmful and painful sores. And they keep saying as you read this thing, it's like, but the people won't repent. Yes, they would. Yeah.

They would all fucking repent. they would yeah they would all fucking repent they would have all repented immediately i would repent because there would be fucking evidence because angels would be pouring bowls of sores on me right yeah i you know i gotta say um you know there's there's a lot of things in this where they're saying that you know each time they're doing this awful thing. And they're like – at one point they're like dumping bowls of fucking stinging insects that are fucking people up. The insects are great. And they're dumping all this other shit.

And you're just like, man, all you have to do is one of those things to me. It's like fucking put me in Guantanamo for 20 minutes and I will tell you that my wife killed the entire planet. You don't need to torture me for that long. Like it just seems, it seems so ludicrous. Right. And what it's basically saying is like, like, you know, you need to show, show God how repentant you are or whatever, um, for the things that you've done. But it's like, you know what, what do we do? We just, we're people. We're. We just were humans. We didn't do a fucking anything. You know what I mean? We didn't do anything at all.

We have – I was looking at the number of people on the earth. We were talking about this a while back about how long it took for us to get to like a billion, right? And it was like in the 1800s when we got to a billion. And when we got – when you look at how population was in the world and how there's a geometric swing of population. Where's a part of this where they're talking about all the people that are going to go to heaven, right? There's 144,000 of them are going to go to heaven, and there are 12,000 from each of the 12 tribes.

You know, you look at the population of the world back then, you know, and we're talking about the world, not just of like, you know, like, like a small country or whatever, you know, the world of population in, in zero is 300 million. So, you know, you're talking about, and in eight, and we're talking about an 8,000 BC, they're estimating at about 5 million people. So, you know, we grow kind of fast. It's, it's relatively fast, not super fast, but you know, from 5 million to 300,000 in that time. But you know, this wasn't written in, in zero, it was written before then. So we're not in 300 million before then, you know, I mean, 144,000 people back then probably was a lot.

That was probably a good deal of people where you're thinking 144,000 is probably more people than are in any place. I mean, I was hearing that like medieval towns of like 7,000 were metropolises. So, you know, we're talking about 144,000 people seems immense. But to us today, it seems minute. We're like 144,000 people there's more people than live than live in naperville i know i know you know what i mean like in naperville is a tiny suburb of of chicago there's more people that live in joliet which is another suburb of chicago than that so that the numbers are off and it's because these people are a nomadic tribe where there's like fucking seven of them that hang out.

So they're like – so this of course feels so immense to them. Like, oh my god, it's a fucking 144,000. We're basically all – we're all good. Right, right. And I want to talk about that for a second too because like this whole thing is all God's wrath. God is so full of fucking wrath again. Like this is – like he took a wrath vacation during most of the New Testament. But he's wrathy again at the end.

He's all Old Testament wrath. Raising wrath – raging wrath pids. Right. He's on – Wrath pids. Because he went on the raging wrath pids ride at Great America. Yeah. It's nowhere near as fun. Angels just huck mountains into it.

Yeah. They just pour bowls of shit you're riding it instead of like you stand on the bridge to get splashed and instead it's just blood and locusts and just like it's like fucking somebody squeezes a smallpox pus filled sore and the locusts by the, in Revelation have scorpion tails and donkey faces. Fucking human faces. What? And crowns on their heads? Like little tiny crowns? Who's making the little tiny crowns?

I'll tell you what I'm going to get in, though. If Revelations ever stops, I'm going to get one of those 3D printers to print out a bunch of crowns because they're going to need them. They are going to need them. And they don't even have hands to, like, reach up and, like, hold them. They can't even adjust it. They can't even adjust it. They can't even adjust their hat. They all take off. All the locusts take off and immediately all their crowns fall.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. I keep thinking about that Scrooge movie where he's like, we can't get the hats to stay on the mice's head. He's like, have you tried staples? They all have crowns stapled to their heads. they all have crowns stapled to their heads there's like a little like anti-elves like up in heaven like stapling these fucking locusts that are stinging them with their tails because nobody likes to be stapled i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job man i knew i should have been in the union. But like – OK. So God is all wrathy again.

Like he's all Old Testament wrathy again. And why is he wrathy? Like he's wrathy because – and they say it again and again. Because of sexual immorality. They play a lot on that. Like he's pissed off about sexual immorality. He's pissed off that people are sorcerers. He's pissed off that people are liars, they're thieves, they're murderers.

That's not most people. Let's throw that out there. I hate the idea of sin. I think the idea of sin is the most ludicrous fucking idea that the Bible teaches. Like of all the ludicrous, silly-ass bullshit in the whole thing. This idea of sin, this idea that people are so inherently evil, are so inherently bad, are broken, are in need of forgiveness. Constantly we hear that with these religious nuts. And Revelation is all about that, right? Like, oh, they didn't repent, they didn't repent, they didn't repent.

Repent for fucking what? Repent for fucking what? Repent for fucking what? We're not bad. Like as a species, we're pretty fucking spectacular, I think. The very idea that we are, that we can be altruistic, the very idea that the outliers of our societies are the violent, are the liars, are the, you know, the thieves and the rapists that we don't accept them into our polite society, that we find ways to try to rehabilitate or segregate them from polite society. That says a lot of good things about who we are as a species and as a people.

And you read Revelation and you read any part of the Bible and it's all you're fucking bad, you're evil, you're no good. You need redemption. Fuck that noise, man noise man like i don't need fucking redemption fuck god's wrath i'll fuck his wrath right in the ear who needs it take your wrath and shove it up your ass take these like i'm the bad person you're sending angels with bowls full of evil to blot out the sun what did I do? Like, I forgot to return my neighbor's lawnmower? Yeah, all right.

Let's just say I did something that was against your commands. I committed adultery. Okay. Well, that deserves fucking being stung for six months and wishing to die and not being able to die. That doesn't deserve... Like, you know, like, it always feels like the punishments for everything is so fucking, you know, like it always feels like the punishments for everything is so fucking, you know, severe.

When we talked about this, like one of the major reasons why I deconverted was the idea of hell just seems so fucking ludicrous. It's like, you know, there's nothing you can do in a finite life that deserves an infinite punishment. I mean, there's nothing. that deserves an infinite punishment. I mean, there's nothing. I could fucking spend my whole life fucking children to death and not feel like I should be eternally punished for it because I had a finite life.

It's just the scales of justice just don't make any fucking sense at all. Yeah, well, and they aren't they limiting like of God's like you read this and it's and Revelation talks about, you know, how powerful God is. Look how powerful he is. Look at all this shit he can do. He's like – you read this and Revelation talks about how powerful God is. Look how powerful he is. Look at all this shit he can do. He's like a petulant child.

He's like that kid from the Twilight Zone who like turns you into a jack-in-the-box when you don't – Sure, yeah. Puts you out in the field. Right. It's – really like if you were like a violent, sick monster of a man that like spent his days like you know like you said like fucking children to death and you came upon an all loving and importantly all powerful being

who would loved you and wanted well wanted you know to do right by you wouldn't he just heal you like just take the violence and the anger and the sickness away from you and be like okay okay, you're all good. It's fine.

Come in. I don't know why that doesn't happen. And you know like I feel – I feel like too – that's a great analogy of that kid, right? That kid in that Twilight Zone movie. If you've never seen it, it's this little kid who like everybody in the entire fucking village because he's the only he's basically blotted out the entire world, turned the entire world into cornfield. Right. And he's he's fucking omnipotent. He can control anything with just a mere thought. And basically everybody in the entire place is terrified of him.

And and they they they make like they love him. They, they have this pretend where they're like, oh yeah, Billy, whatever you want, Bill. Yeah. We want to have cake for dinner. Of course we want cake for dinner. Oh yeah. I want this, you know, et cetera. And they're all trying to make him feel good. And they're all like, yeah, it's your birthday again. We're going to have a birthday party, et cetera, et cetera. They're just trying to make him feel like happy. And he's a monster. Like when one person is like, I don't want to do that. And he's like, well, I'm going to make you go out to the cornfield. It's like, that's exactly what God is. It's like, everybody's, you know, spending so much time climbing over each other, trying to suck his cock. And he's a jag off. He's, you know,

like, like he's depicted as the worst type of thing. Like, I get, you know, you read this and you think, how in the world did he ever have your, your, you know, the adulation, you know, the, the, you know, you adore him for, for what reason? Why exactly is it that you, that you love God so much? I can't figure that out. And you, you know, these, these plagues that he visits upon the earth. I mean, beyond just being ridiculous, you know, if, if any, even minute portion of this nonsense were,

were true, you're like, you're talking about like a being that like, like burns up infants and children and like, sure. You know, the, the mentally disabled and like people who are,

you know, blind and deaf and dumb and have never had an opportunity to hear, you know, the good word. The babies that are getting stung for six months that can't die. By these locusts that, let me read it. In appearance, the locusts were like horses prepared for battle. Now, does that mean the size of horses? They have saddles, tiny saddles. I love that.

I would love it if they were tiny little horses. They were like horses prepared for battle. On their heads were what looked like crowns of gold. Their faces were like human faces. Their hair was like women's hair. Their teeth were like lion's teeth. They had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the noise of their wings was like the noise of many chariots with horses rushing into battle. wings was like the noise of many chariots with horses rushing into battle. They had tails and stings like scorpions and their power and their power to hurt people

for five months is in their tail. I know I, you know, you know, this is exactly what you were talking about when you said they are using their existence around them at this point in history as a reference point. How Tom, tell me what the fuck it sounds like when horses rush into battle. Oh, that sounds – What does that sound like? No, you haven't heard that? The only way I know what that fucking sounds like is because I saw Gladiator.

Yeah, you know, Notice Nothing is like they never presage any other military – they mentioned so much military technology in this book, so much. But it's all contemporary military technology, which is totally irrelevant to today's world. I'm supposed to take that seriously? I'm supposed to say like, oh, well, this is a book written definitely to inspire and to speak to the hearts and minds of men and women across the world across all of time and that's why it references only shit that existed contemporaneously with its publishing right what fuck you you know tell me something you know mention a fucking abrams battle you know like mention something. Talk to me about a Scud missile.

Like, give me something. Like, you know, Minuteman ICBM. What the fuck? We didn't know about that for 2,000 years, and then they built one. You know, like, give me something to work with here. You read this, and it's like, the fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun. Huh? He did?

He poured out his bowl on the sun like the fourth thing let me tell you something bro you pour out anything near the sun and it just gets engulfed and it says it was allowed to scorch people with fire well that's nice that they let it do that um they were scorched by the fierce heat uh and they cursed the name of god and power over these plagues. They did not repent and give him glory. That's retarded. That doesn't make any sense at all. The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and his kingdom was plunged into darkness.

People gnawed their tongues in anguish and cursed the God of heaven for their pain and sores. They did not repent of their deeds. Everybody would repent. Like, everybody would fucking immediately repent because you have, like you're saying, like you've got fucking little Billy's birthday party. I mean you fucking feed that dickhead some cake unless you want to get banished to the field. You would pretend. Right. It doesn't even make any sense.

You would at least pay lip service to the idea of repentance, which of course, you know, the thing is, is like, like all here's, here's the, the perfect chance for you to convert all the atheists. Have something in the sky look like it's pouring a bowl on the fucking sun and I will immediately believe in God. Right. You know what I mean? Like I'm fucking, I'm there with you. Have a fucking creature that looks like a horse with a breastplate a mouth like it has a human face and a mouthful of fucking lion teeth look at me and i will believe in immediately i'll be like you know what you're right dude that's i'm there with you you know i mean like i can i mean a real life

creature like that millions of them stinging people with their horse scorpion tails yes i'm here with you bro god i fucking i I fucking, I fucked up, God. I messed up my whole life. I totally didn't think you were real. But now you've created this horse demon creature to torment me. You have changed my fucking mind. I admit that your argument is superior. But instead, everybody's just like, well, fuck that guy, man.

Right, because that's what people would do. Yeah. Really? Like, the reason why that works is because people who believe this are irrational and they would think that other people are irrational. Did you notice, too, that it's only guys that go to heaven? Women don't get to go? Well, yeah. It's only men because they talk about, like, the people who, you know, get saved.

I don't know. There's, like, seven waves or some shit or, like, there's fucking waves of people that go and go up to heaven and whatever. Like the first bus stop up on the way. But they're talking about like, yeah, you know, these people who always kept my name and kept it holy and blah, blah, blah. And did not defile themselves with women. It's evidently Cecil. If you defile yourself with a woman, you don't get to go to heaven so that's how they get down to 144 000 people pretty easy right you can't take any of the priests they're

done well you know you can defile yourself with a boy woman yeah maybe a boy doesn't i guess not i want to read this part and this is um this is chapter 11, verse 13. And at the hour there was a great earthquake and a tenth of the city fell. 7,000 people were killed in the earthquake and the rest were terrified and gave glory to God in heaven. 7,000 people. Now to us, that'd be a bad a bad natural disaster we would think man that would suck you know ten you know seven thousand people died that would be pretty awful but it wouldn't be that big a natural disaster right we would be like oh okay you know because i i'm looking at

in wikipedia the 10 deadliest natural disasters since 1900 tom Tom. Not since, you know, the beginning of time. Since 1900. And number five is one that is in recent memory. 230,000 people died in the Indian Ocean tsunami. 230,000 people died in that. That's only number five? That's number five. What the fuck's number one?

Number one is one to four million in 1931 died in the china floods jesus in 19 1976 the tangshan earthquake killed 650 000 to 779 000 people so your piddly 7 000 that died in your earthquake is pathetic but 7 7,000 is not a huge number when it comes right down to it. 7,000. And only a tenth of the city is destroyed too. Yeah, it's a city of 70,000. Wow. That's huge.

It's like they fucking – he hit Boise with an earthquake. It's like, oh, man, the strip malls are gone in a small suburban town. Like you hit the Mall of the America and part of it fell. It's not even the parking lot. Yeah, this is such a parochial book. Like it's such a time and a place book. And you read through it and it's like so much like the whole like great horror of Babylon thing. Like somebody really didn't like that chick.

Yeah. That's really like't like that chick. Yeah. That's really, like, the person who... Nobody likes Oprah. Nobody likes Oprah. Nice. Hey, Gail's upset about that comment. You know, like, you look at this thing, and it's really...

I mean, there's one woman who's so bad, one woman who's so bad that the merchants are upset because she's not keeping them in business anymore what are you talking about did you read this portion it's crazy yeah i read it all it doesn't make any sense at all it's you know it's it's one of the things that was suggested to me and i haven't found any any proof to back this up but that this is a coded message sent out to people um the person who explained it to me said it was a it was during a rebellion i couldn I couldn't find any proof of that. But there's other people who suggest that it was the seven churches are actually who this is for. And it was talking about the Roman army and the Roman

empire and how that's sort of the beast, et cetera, et cetera. So there's lots of different interpretations and probably some contemporary interpretations of this, you know, during this time where they're picking out things that it is. It reminds me very much, Tom, of Nostradamus and how people look at Nostradamus today and are like, oh my god, man, he totally picked out nothing.

It's amazing how he totally had no, any predictions that came true. But they'll say, you know, oh, it's because he said some vague shit. Right. Yeah. A long time ago. Great.

Eagle will crash into a tree. That's the World Trade Center towers. Wait. So it's amazing that they had a fucking thing that looked like this. And it's like and there will be a thing that looks like a boat or something. Oh, man, we have things that look like boats. That's amazing. But in any case, he was writing the stuff that he was writing. People, people say that he

was writing as criticism to someone else, but he couldn't say it. So he had to write it like this and like sort of this coded message and this sort of like fucking sleeping dogs don't carry umbrellas sort of message. And, and you know, like, like that's all well and good. But the problem is, is that people have been scaring other people with this and using this to manipulate other people for years and years and years. So regardless of whether or not how and why it was written, right? Because I'm sure there's going to be somebody who's going to post on our thing and be like, you guys totally missed the whole thing about Revelations. It was written as a blah. I don't give a fuck what it was written about.

Here's how it's being used today. They're putting it on the news to scare you into believing in their God. They're putting it in churches to scare people into how they want them to vote. They're making it so that we treat an entire class of people as a subclass of people because they're saying that we're sexually immoral if we're homosexuals. They are using it as a weapon. It is fucking nonsense and we need to treat it as such that's the main point of all of this credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal

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