Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 119 Live from Carnegie Hall!

Episode Date: October 7, 2013

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is cognitiveognitive Dissonance. I think I jumped the gun on that one a little bit. You did a little bit.

No, I think you're doing okay. You're okay. I got the first line of it, too. You're doing okay. We're doing it live. This is a live version. Everybody has always asked us, you should do a live version. And we were like, you know what?

We're going to be in the same place. So I'm at Tom's office right now. I feel like we're going to be playing with gi joe's here in a few minutes i'm like over at tom's house we're going to check some stuff out so uh so we're actually doing a live show we just got done recording with uh with uh ross from skeptically challenged and you would have already heard this because this is three weeks in the future we're recording from the future we're recording from the past into the future but you didn't finish it go ahead this is going to distance i gotta start over you gotta start over every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome matt this is i think i'm told

episode 119 119 but i am totally unsure of that information and we could have just been clipping the shit out of your just laugh because i was looking and your your meters were through the roof on that so i just this is awesome this is like this is why you don't do a goddamn live show because everything can go wrong at any moment this is why you don't do a goddamn live show. Because everything can go wrong at any moment. This is why you don't do a live show with me. Well, yeah, that's true. Are you kidding me? It's like doing a live show with like a fucking rabbit tiger.

It's the worst possible idea. It's everything. A live sex show with a rabbit tiger. A live show with me? Yeah. That is just a horrifying thing. We're going to try to burn through a short episode today so it's gonna be fast it's gonna be really fast we've got some shit to do so the first

well no no tom i've got a plan i'm playing a clip right now this is it here we go we're introducing it with a clip all right regional war breaks out and at the same time because of that the global economy collapses crashes and that that begins the serious pain for the entire world that the globalists actually want to prepare them for the global one-world system. They already have the economic system already to bring in, just nobody's ready to accept it. So at the right time, after there's been enough pain, then what happens is the Antichrist, who I won't name any names here, but he's hitting the largest superpower of the world today.

Then fucking name him. Then name him. He steps in at the right time and does three things. That he declares a global jubilee. Global jubilee! In which all the deaths of the world are eliminated. And the politician who does it is going to be hailed the greatest man on the planet. He rules the world.

It doesn't even make sense. And this is the guy that also is just going to be able to do what no one else in the history of the Middle East conflict could do. He's going to have brought a peace treaty between the Palestinians and the Israelis. Sounds like a deal. Here's the one other part that's been missing, and you actually alluded to it, and we're very close on this. Very close. That at the same time he introduces the new global system, but here's the other missing

component. What's the religion of the Antichrist? What is? The religion of the Antichrist is secular humanism. Yeah, because I remember that from the Bible where they talk about secular humanism in the never pages, in the none of the pages ever. Right, right. This is from Right Wing Watch. Lively Obama is the Antichrist working with satanic gays to bring about the apocalypse.

That's right. You heard it here second or third i love the satanic gaze all those gays like being like ah christianity's never done us any favors let's take the satanic part of christianity because of course satanism would be an offshoot of christian it's a sect of christian like satanism can only ride on the back of christianity it's it is a part so yeah then obama is the antichrist i mean he didn't come out and say it though he said he's just hiding heading the world's superpower like so you know i guess it's either that or flight i don't know if like you're thinking

about superpowers right it's flight or maybe laser vision being invisible it's like it's like it's like a hierarchy it's like being invisible is like up there. Stopping time, right? That's a good one. Stopping time is a good one. And then flight. And then gay. And then gay, right. And then being the antichrist gay.

That's the other superpower. I like how this guy, you know, one of the things they always talk about like in the Bible is like, oh, you're not supposed to make prophecies, right? Like that's like, it's like being a wizard. You're not supposed to make prophecies right like that's like being a wizard you're not supposed to make prophecies and then this guy is just spending all this time talking about the future like conjuring the future and saying like well then this is going to happen and this is going to happen

and this he's got a fucking syllabus for a class I fucking certainly didn't take where did he come up with this information I love Tom the global jubilee is the part that I love because that sounds like the gayest thing in the world it sounds so gay but then they're like there's one for one planned for 2015

we didn't play the whole clip the entirety of the clip is on the it'll be on our website dissonancepod.club and it links directly to this right wing watch page but there's an entire clip here and there's multiple clips there's three actual clips on this page but the one that we specifically played

he talks about this global jubilee happening in 2015. I'm like, I didn't fucking even hear about it. It's like I fucking got a memo from the secular humanist society like, hey, guys, we're going to take over the world in fucking 2015 when Obama declares a jubilee. And then he's talking about relieving the debt. Like he's like, oh, and what Obama is going to do is like relieve the debt from everybody because that's the only way to fix the problem. I'm thinking nobody is going to let him do that. Nobody – you can't – how does he even have the power to do that? Right.

How does that – like, all of a sudden, like, Obama's like, and now you don't owe, you know, Citibank for your mortgage. And, you know, like, Citibank's like, but then everyone's fired. Yeah. Because we didn't get any money. Right. And now we're fucked. That's not – you can't – it's such a silly ridiculous fucking thing and he says like man the the politician who gets just gets rid of everybody's debt is going to be so popular why for crushing the economy yeah because they're

going to destroy it they're going to face fuck it like this like and that politician was so popular remember that time he collapsed the entire world economy god we love him i love him so much i'm gonna have him over for dinner and eat him for dinner because i'm so hungry now because now it's the road right exactly exactly it's such a silly ridiculous fucking concept yeah um yeah let's move on to the next yeah let's just move on to the next story we don't really have a lot to say about this and tom and i are doing this live so you miss normally where there would be this awkward pause where Tom would be like, yeah, so that. And I would be like, yeah. And then you've got to collect your thoughts for a second.

Yeah, and then Tom and I would stop. But now, since we're doing this, here's the next clip. I have no problem attending happy weddings. Okay, if there is a gay wedding and everybody's gay, everybody's happy, I have no problem with people attending a happy wedding. Okay? But I'm not real big on attending neurotic weddings. Neurotic? I draw a distinction between gay weddings and neurotic weddings.

Neurotic, like a Seinfeld wedding. Neurotic wedding. Neurotic wedding is Nero. It is the size of her hand. Let's do same-sex weddings. Okay, that came from Nero. He's the namesake for this kind of abomination. It's very popular today.

Outrightiously popular. It's mind-boggling how popular it is. Now, Dave, however, I have many exceptions. I think you can't attend a wedding if you hold up a sign that reads Leviticus 2013. I think that would be appropriate. Yeah, that you could attend a wedding and hold up the sign Leviticus 2013.

And word for word, a man sleeps with a man as he sleeps with a woman. The two of them have committed abomination. They shall both be put to death. You could attend a wedding and hold up that sign. I would totally invite this guy to my wedding. So you get an invitation to a homosexual wedding. And I guess, Dave, it comes down to if you bake a cake for a homosexual wedding,

you could put Love Naked is 2013 on the cake. If you bake a cake. If you were to bake a wedding cake. Baking cakes is gay. Who are we kidding? Come on now. This guy sounds like such a barrel of fucking laughs. He really does.

What a fun fun loving guy who wouldn't first of all if you have this guy in your family like because there's no way he's your friend right like because this guy is it would be impossible to have this guy to be a homosexual person be like oh yeah i count this guy amongst my closest friends like this hate-filled fucking bigot he's a you know my closest friends. This is not going to happen. So if this guy's part of your family, who invites him? Who's like, oh, we've got to invite Uncle Bigot.

Oh, my God. I'm inviting Uncle Bigot on a splite to my wedding. Uncle Bigot's coming. Where do you even seat him? Is there a bigot's table? There is. There is, yeah. You've got to have him like,

okay, we've got the bridesmaids. It's in the choir section in the back. You wouldn't even let him near anything. What you have to do is you have to circle them with like a whole bunch of motorcycle riding guys. You can come, but we have to have like the Patriot riders surround you. Cover them in caution tape. Sorry.

You just, oh, you bumped into Uncle Bigot. It's bad. Yeah. This is, this, this stems, Tom. This is, this is a story from right wing watch and i'm taking over for you boom haha take that um it's called uh obama is oh i have the wrong one up this is right wing watch and it's swanson is this guy not swanson from the parks and recreation different swanson hilarious yeah it says tell gay couples to die on their wedding

day and this is from right wing watch and now this guy is basically saying that it's okay to go to these these functions if you hold up this thing that says a man and a man. Now, it doesn't say anything about women, right? No women and a woman. So you can go to like a female gay wedding where it's just females. You could go to a lesbian wedding. And it would be fine. You just have to masturbate the whole time.

Yeah, you can't. That's what you got to do. Just like the whole time. I'm sorry, but whenever I hear about gays, I have to think about them having sex. So this is exciting to me. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, the thing is, is he was saying one of the things he's saying is it's OK to put it on a cake.

And now Tom and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago that was sort of wildly misinterpreted where I had said that I wasn't a fan of the law. But I understood why it existed, why that they had in one of the states. I think it was New Mexico, had a law that was an anti-discriminatory law. And I had said, I wasn't a fan of the law because I don't think laws like this really are necessary. I think that the market pressure, but a lot of people pointed out market pressure in certain areas.

And Tom even pointed out to me, which is why I kind of changed my mind at the end of that conversation. Tom even pointed out to me that market pressures are different everywhere. Even Tom. Yeah, even Tom can change my mind. So I changed my mind at the end and said, I understand why these laws exist and I get it. And, you know, like, I just wish I could know who the people are.

And people wildly misinterpreted that as me being, I guess, anti-gay. I don't know why they would think that. I mean, maybe they just hadn't listened to the show before. The whole tone of the show. Yeah, the whole tone of the show changes. Yeah, completely once I say something. But I, you know, I'm totally a person who I think is an ally with homosexual rights. And, uh, and in this case, here's where I wouldn't side with the business owner because

at the business business owner, if I came to the business owner and said, Hey, I would like a wedding cake. And they put Leviticus 2013 on there. I would be supremely mad because as a business owner, I asked you to perform a service. This service is vital and crucial to my wedding and it's time sensitive. And if you were to serve something to me that was astandard and having Leviticus 2013 as substandard on there, I think that I would not only demand a refund. I would demand punitive damages because I wouldn't be able to get a cake in time, and you would have basically put a lot of stress on me. I think I would actually be able to sue you in that case.

So this is a time where I wouldn't side with the business owner in any case. Well, look, you can't just, you can't go buy a product and have somebody be like, oh, yeah, you know what would make that product better is if I just scrawled my religious beliefs on it. If I just put it like my commentary. Right. Like, can you imagine like going like, because even if, imagine it's not even something as big as a wedding cake.

Like, let's say you like went to Burger King and somebody like gave you a burger and like on the top of your burger and ketchup, they just wrote like your mother sucks cocks in hell. And you're just like, why did you write that? Why would you do such a crazy? She sucks cocks right now. I'm not judging your mom.

Yeah. You know, I'm not here to, I am judging your mom. Look, dad is dead. She is free. She is free. She is free.

Awkward silence. This is the part where we transition to the next story. Aloha, Huacbar. Aloha, Huacbar. Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, glory hole motherfucker. Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Aloha, Huacbar. I love the Dolphins and Giant Worms. I fucking love that shit.

So this Cecil... This Cecil? This Cecil. This Cecil comes from the Telegraph. This Cecil comes from my Telegraph. That's not where the Cecil comes from. This story comes from the Telegraph. Iran unveils finger amputating machine for use on thieves.

You know, they'll fucking automate anything. Where's the human touch? Where's the, you know, we're all getting, I just, I read this and my first thought is, God, we're all getting replaced by robots. Oh man, where's the, you know, these people, they shouldn't be up there helping this machine. They should be picketing. There should be a strike somewhere. There should be somebody there saying, what about the executioner's rights?

Right. I'd like to see the infomercial, the late night infomercial for this. Has this ever happened to you? I've been cutting off fingers all day. My hands are so tired. The guy's shaking out his hands. Oh, I've got like terrible hand cramps.

And like, there's like a pile of fingers like fucking stacked like cornwood behind the guy. Like hot dogs just sitting there. If only there was a better way. And like, Cecil, look at this machine. You've got, people, you have, this machine is the clueless thing since like the Gutenberg printing press. It's the Gutenberg printing press of is like look at this thing yeah a guillotine is about the same it's on the same level i mean this thing looks you know why don't

they just send them to a paper factory to get their hands torn off like why not put them in like hard labor i i look at this machine it also looks overly complex for what has to happen really it's it's a finger amputating machine. You could seriously use a paper cutter at your office. This is not high technology, but this thing has wheels and pulleys and a fucking belt drive system. And it's like, all you need is a blade that goes down. It doesn't have to travel in more than one direction. It's a clamp with a blade. And they unveiled it?

They unveiled it? Do they have a booth babe standing there with it it's like in a full asheb or whatever who's just standing there like she's in a burka and you can't even tell it could be a dude you don't know but it's just somebody and then they but it's funny because you don't know who they're pulling the cloth off of you know what i mean like it's just like like they have the cloth on it and they have they're like is she standing there with two people oh it's the cloth they're unveiling it yeah worst free samples ever right you know like you go to this like you go to the ces show in vegas and it's like iran just like we have our finger amputating machine free samples oh that's the worst free samples i you know that the horrifying thing about this is that they specifically have this guy who is fucking i mean he has just had his hand fucked up i mean his hand is fucked

up at this point this is not a hand and he's just standing there like what's up man so they say they think he's been drugged they're like he's probably been drugged so he doesn't like fucking freak the fuck out of this but my, what a horrifying fucking thing. You're a thief over there. What kind of crazy backwards goddamn culture do you have where you think it's okay to like amputate a thief's fucking hand? I have no idea. Like, and I'm sorry.

Like, well, I'm not even that sorry. Fuck that noise. I'm not sorry at all. Like here in the States, like what do we unveil? Like we unveiled like the new iPhone 5. It's like, like that's something to unveil. Like, oh, the new iPhone 5. It's like, that's something to unveil. Like, oh, the new iPhone 5, slightly bigger, slightly faster, essentially the same. Like, in Iran, it's like, we're going to unveil, like, a fucking belt-driven, two-pulley hand-chopping machine.

It's two-pulley? Your culture sucks. Now with more horsepower. How many horsepowers do you need to cut off a finger yeah and you're right like what were their their public outcries calling for a better way to chop off people's hands you obviously don't give a fuck about your prisoners anyway because you're lopping their heads off and doing so why do they care about how efficiently they chop off a hand and isn't that a good point right because like look at like the guillotine like the guillotine was invented as a

kind of a democratizing tool you know like it'll cut the head off a king as quickly as it'll cut the head off a peasant it's also supposed to be like a humane way to end somebody's life well there's nothing humane about chopping somebody's fucking fingers off for stealing a thing i just stole a thing okay we're gonna cut off your finger that seems, egregious. That's not at all. Can't you just steal one of my things? I object, sir. I object. Can't you just steal my things?

Like, if I steal your TV, and then you're like, okay, well, I'm going to cut off your hand. It's like, well, that's not the same. Aren't you relegating the person to stealing, too, for the rest of their life? Because, I mean, you're basically taking away a lot of their chance to actually earn a living, right? Like, it's not like this guy's words-per typing went off do you have any special skills i'm stumping yeah i don't know yeah i mean like i can reach into dangerous places now yeah yeah i'm not afraid of snakes anymore i guess i don't know i began to just move out powerfully in faith. I gave this prophecy. There's someone here, you're in a car accident, and it destroyed your right cheekbone.

So literally, there's a hollow under your cheek. You have no cheekbone. This is hillbilly God's wife. Where are you? You see, that even takes faith to ask someone to stand up when you're ministering like this. Rather than generically give words, there is someone here that has this condition. You're only looking at their face. And so this woman stood up. You could see she'd been in a car accident.

She had that concave, you know, look to her cheek. And I said, reach up and feel it. And she did. And as she rubbed her hand over her cheek, when she moved it away, you could see God had grown the bone right under her hand. Praise the Lord. And that's also happened to me before. God showed me the root of the root of some things that had allowed sickness into me. Praise the Lord. And forgiveness had come. And what happened was I forgave those people.

And guess what? I got healed. I got totally healed. I once had a great fruit-sized tumor in my body. And the Holy Spirit showed me the source of that, why it had come from a root of unforgiveness and a root of wounding. A root of wounding. I had that magic card.

It was near, you know, behind my female organs or whatever. Or whatever. I'm not sure what's inside there. I don't know what's inside my old body. And so therefore I was carrying that pain in my body until it grew into a tumor. So forget it. What I love is that she's talking about her female parts and she's like

you know the stop that's in there or whatever. What did she do? Did she rub it just like they rub the cheek? Is that what happened? I wonder. And God reached up in there with his holy vibrator. And God fisted the tumor right on me. He fucked that tumor good and proper, I'll tell you.

I haven't been fucked like that since choir. He fucked it right down to the root. What was the root of wonder? What the fuck? What was the root that she had? That's awesome. This story comes from the raw story. Christian TV prophet claims she can regrow cheekbones and heal satanic tumors.

No, that's not a thing. You are just a fucking idiot, lady. That's what you can do. You know what would be great if God was like, and then I went back in time and you weren't in a disfiguring car accident. That'd be awesome. That would be a lot better than just like, well,

then you get your cheekbone bag. Like all these fucking Iraq war vets are like, we'd like a leg. Yeah. I'd like to not have PTSD. Yeah. How about that? Can I have like all these kids are like,

can I have my dad back? No. I had to give a bitch a cheekbone. That's just how it works. I can only do, I had to give a bitch a cheekbone. I can only do fucking beauty i can only do i have to give a bitch i can only do fucking beauty treatments like he's like the fucking oil of a way of god like that's all you are yeah you just smear some fucking beauty cream all over it's this is not a miracle this is just like this is vanity press that's what this is yeah well this is i mean

this is a fucking anonymous hearsay i mean like what oh yeah so i'm supposed to believe that some person in your audience had some sort of disfigurement and then you you fucking fix them great where's the fucking video i'd love to see it wait maybe you missed because she actually she actually referenced it when she said praise the lord i love how she says praise like she's all like praise the lord like she's almost like like she's questioning us like is this the time i do this like is this when i praise the lord that's because she got goosed that she was saying. Yeah, she was getting fisted by the Holy Spirit. She was getting rid of those tumors.

Yeah, no, I mean, that's how you do it. You just got to fist the fuck out of them. That's actually, that's a selling point, you know, when I'm trying to like, you know, hey, got any tumors in there? Yeah, two girls, one tumor. Two girls, one tumor. That's really. Oh, my God. Where's medical porn?

Well, you know, yeah, you know Kermit the Frog's reaction video is hilarious to that one. That's a great one, yeah. This woman is pretty weird. I mean, just like you see this woman and you hear her talk. I can't believe it. The thing that bothers me about this the most, Tom, is that there's people in the world that watch this woman on television. And they're just gobbling it up. Oh yeah, for sure.

They love it. They fucking love it. And you hear this woman talking and you just can't think she's credible this is a lady this is a prince spaghetti lady who fucking made she's like i made spaghetti for they just it just grows and grows when you believe in the lord and you're just like no it doesn't it's a fucking box of spaghetti it's one pound fucking cooked as it is fucking dry now it might have grown it grows because it absorbs the water but it's still a pound of spaghetti, lady. It doesn't fucking change. It's not fucking, you don't put a pound of it in there and get more of it out.

Unless, you know, of course, you're getting more water. So yeah, maybe it's two pounds when it comes out. But that's because it absorbed enough water to be two pounds worth of spaghetti now. What you're missing, though, is that if you take the spaghetti and you hang it from a cross, then you can get a spaghetti tree. And then that's how you gather. Because what she did is she planted holy spaghetti seeds. And then it grows up. And the tree is a cross.

Right. And then you get holy spaghetti. And then that's what you use. That's why it's Prince Spaghetti. It's like the Prince of Love. Something. I just got cut off. I didn't want to do that that but that's where it fucking ends

so take that that's what you get for having a live show that's how that's how this fucking rolls that's how this works i got played off you did got you fucking took the vaudeville thank that motherfucker so uh we're recording like we said in the future we're not going over any emails i'm going on vacation two days so uh so we have this last week that you heard the first week of our vacation uh we did a revelation episode we did another episode which was a uh a review of a movie called god of wonders it was great and which was neither of those shows were very good and they're both short and this show is exceedingly short because tom and i just spent an hour almost two hours talking to Ross. So we're hoping that you guys got your fix.

We apologize that we had three shows, short, short shows in a week, but you might not have had anything. So I'm not, take what you fucking can get here. I'm not really sorry at all. Yeah.

I've got no fucking regrets. Take what you can get. But we, what we want to say is that next week, it is our hope to have Robert Black and we, what's actually his name's Robert Blankovich, I think. Blachowicz. Blachowicz.

We're not sure. I'm not sure. We'll ask him how to pronounce his name. Robert is involved in the Brzezinski Clinic, basically showing that they're a fraud. He's basically exposing the Brzezinski Clinic and has a movement that's working on that. And we're going to have Robert on hopefully next week.

We're scheduled for him for next week, Tom. So we're hoping, and this is next next week into the future because we're far away at this point so he may call and cancel but that's our hope yeah and and we saw him at tam and he was awesome one of the best speakers he was incredibly articulate and it's actually a cause worth uh spending some time with so this is a guest i'm i'm really excited to have on the show i think that this is like this is something we should be paying attention to. Like this is, if the show does anything worthwhile other than making the occasional person guffaw and spit something out of their nose, like it would be something like this.

Yeah. Bringing awareness to something like this. Motivate people to recognize that this is a horrible thing. And we actually may catch some pushback on this because I know the Brzezinski Clinic people are pretty high on attacking people that attack them. So we may actually get some pushback on this because i know the brzezinski clinic people are pretty high on you know attacking people that attack them so we may actually get some pushback on this which might be interesting so come at me bro yeah whatever yeah we'll see what happens but um but any case so that's that's going to be happening next week then the following week we are sort of scheduled to have dj growth on

which should be interesting tom's phone is going off which is great but uh dj growth may be on which is great right growthy growth dj growthy will be totally fun he was he was a super nice guy we met him as well yeah tam yeah really really nice guy real down to earth so having him on the show should be a lot of fun talk about kind of what's going on in the movement like what's next and you know for people who are plugged into that i think this would be totally useful and late month we're hoping to have on uh peter bogasian super cool and p Peter Boghazian has a – we got an email this last week, and now this would be three weeks ago. But we got an email this last week where somebody said, you guys should have on Peter Boghazian if Sam Harris won't come on. I'm like, yeah, he kind of is like a guy who's like Sam Harris.

I'm not going to call him the budget Sam Harris, but I think he's a guy who's more accessible than Sam Harris. And he's willing to come on our show, and he's going to have a new book. So we're going to talk about his book, and his book is about showing people, I guess, a way to think that might lead them away from religious thinking, which is, I think, a great thing. So we're going to talk to him about that, and we're going to have a good time. So October is the month for guests. We may even have another guest on late October. We're still sort of piecing that together. Jesus, my God, there's fucking so many guests.

I know, it's crazy. I might have to do some prep. Yeah. I don't know about that. Well, you have three weeks off now. Yeah, well, I wanted to spend that three weeks slacking. Well, I guess I still can, right? You still can.

What would change? Yeah, what would change? So as always, we're going to leave you. This is a short show, but we're going to leave you with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue, but we're going to leave you with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. Can we talk over this too? We can. We can talk over anything.

It's our fucking show. Fortune, Scientician, Double Bubble, Toil and Trouble, Pseudo-Quasi-Alternative, Punctuating, Pressurized, Stereogram, Pyramidal, Free Energy, Healing, Water, Downward Spiral, Brain Dead, Pan, Sales Pitch, Late Night Info, Docutainment, That's just on us. Constantly. Always furious. Yeah, look at you go.

You want this. This is the part. I like it. I like the way the cancer goes with this. I'm not unhappy with this. This was written entirely by accident. Yeah, this was written for a contest, actually. I've got to write a rant.

Oh, it's good. It's a great rant. That's the end rant. Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards. Vaccine nuts. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy. And those are the ones that deserve the most ire. Double speak stigmata nonsense. Yeah, there you go.

Expose your sides. It's impossible for me not to expose my sides. My sides are all... I have my fucking iron side. You're kidding me? Doubt even this. Yeah, motherfuckers. And now we got a disclaimer.

This is me. And now the music. The opinions and views expressed in this show... The opinions and views expressed... That's how I sound? I hate the way I sound. Never listen to yourself. God.

Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. I want to sound deeper, but I can't. It's free music. Yeah. Where did you get it? We got it from nowhere.

It was fucking free. And now this part, this is the part where we would normally have like an Easter egg at the end where we'd be like, hey, this is an Easter egg. The whole show's an Easter egg. Yeah, and this way, you know. What I like about this room, the best about this room, first, I like how fucking hot it is in here. It gets so hot. It's so fucking hot. And I also like, too, that you just have a random air mattress laying against your wall for no reason.

This is, I don't have a guest room. This is it. This is it. This is your guest room. This is my, yeah, it's a fucking million degrees here in the summer. It's ridiculous. It's pretty warm in here. And there's just like a – it feels weird too, like recording live where we're just like sitting across from each other.

Because I'm so used to being able to tune you out. Because I'm like fiddling around with my phone at home and stuff. And I know it would be rude if I did that here. Although now I'm opening my phone. But yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean I fidget too. and i'm like trying to control my fidget i can't control my i can't did you notice how many times i moved my fucking hat earlier i just

couldn't help myself i'm just like i'm fidgeter i just like reach into my drawer next to me and just pull out a thing i'm just like here's a thing i do paper clips all the time like unbend paper clips trying to turn them straight do you do that we are really bored with we are bored i don't listen to i don't listen to anything you say i just i have a laugh track at home i just seems to be pausing and press the laughing button there we go yeah that's great that's the kind of shit you can get away with after like 20 years and knowing somebody i know yeah it's it's it's pretty sad