Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 122: How to Make Friends and Influence Very Large and Intimidating People

Episode Date: October 28, 2013

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Hey Tom and Cecil, this is Jeff from Augustamine, and I just wanted to refute something that someone had to say about the clinkers last episode. I just came back from the doctor's and I actually have the clinkers last episode. I just came back from the doctor's and I actually have the clinkers. As you know, this is, as Pat Robertson was saying, this has to do with the lack of carbohydrate

in your diet, you know, the protein and nutrients. This is something I have to be on for the rest of my life. I have to eat potatoes now, okay? This isn't funny. Glory, hope. this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence, not irrelevance, to any topic that makes the news relevant, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. There is also no DJ Grothy. He had a personal issue that came up, and he said he was sorry, but he had to reschedule. So he is not going to be on this week. We hope we're going to get him on in the near future, but he's not here right now.

No, he's not. in the near future uh but he's not here right now he's not and that you know the personal issue we told him look i've recorded this from the bathroom a number of times like it doesn't matter it's don't be nothing to be embarrassed about it's it happens to the best of us cecil will edit those sounds out yeah it's all i edit out thousands of farts from tom as it is as it is so there's no it's not like it's a big deal you know i already have like like in one i have this thing called sound soap and sound soap basically just scrubs all the farts and burps out of tom's i have them like set up already so it's like it's like a macro it just runs it and every time i hear although sometimes tom talks and burps and it just cuts out completely

what he says the whole thing I wish there was a fucking sound soap for my actual life where I could just walk around with like a sound soap watch on it's just like I'm just gassing all over the place and nobody knows oh they'd know they'd know. They'd know. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery. Invest in health services or products.

Help stamp out quackery. Jesus Christ, fucking ABC News. Can you give me some more fucking running all the time videos and commercials? Fuck you. Fucking stab ABC News in the heart. This is from ABC News. Much to my chagrin, TV pitchman pleads for mercy. Jailed anyway.

Yeah. A federal judge rejected an impassioned plea from a television pitchman for his freedom on Tuesday, ordering U.S. Marshals to lock up Kevin Trudeau for failing to pay a 37 million dollar civil judgment this motherfucker is gonna spend some time in jail and my favorite quote in this whole thing was when he's like i'm gonna be incarcerated and i don't know what to do it almost sounds like it should be part of an infomercial right like right like if you need a lawyer late at night or something you'd get that get kevin trudeau telling you how to do it actually try to tell you how to wrongly misrepresent yourself and probably what he would try to do there was some great stuff in this now there's like an 11 minute video that follows

this two minute video and the thing is is is what he got jailed for what they, they find him all that money for was he had a, like a diet book, right? So it's this diet book that says, Hey, uh, you can lose a fucking shit ton of weight.

All you have to do is these easy things. One of them is colonics, right? So you've got to fucking get enemas and fucking like basically flush your colon out and the other thing you have to do is didn't work for him he's still full of shit yeah i know he called it he called he's like he said it was easy this that this program was easy but basically some of the some of the stuff was like you had to get down to starvation level with like 500 calories a day. What?

And so – That's not even an entire box of donuts. What do you do after breakfast? I don't know. Holy shit. That's like not even a fucking frappuccino. Right. And he's saying 500 calories a day is easy. Well, they said that's not easy, whatever, et cetera.

So they basically fined him a shit ton of money. Well, then he goes out and this has been shown by a journalist. The journalist goes out and starts tracking all his money because he gets fined and he comes up and he's like, well, I don't have the money. And they're like, well, you're fined it. So basically you have to pay it up. He's like, well, yeah, well, I don't have it. Well, they start tracking him down. Well, he's got a million dollar, a couple million dollar house somewhere. He's driving around in a Bentley. He's got a couple hundred thousand dollars in credit card receipts for the past couple years.

And all that stuff is business related. So it's not his money. He doesn't own it. It's all business related. And it's not his business. The business belongs to his wife. So basically he's channeling all his money through other people. belongs to his wife so basically he's channeling all his money through other people and he has like a fucking like a house in zurich like a really nice like apartment like they show the outside

of him it's like i would fucking punch somebody in the throat for that place and i'm just like look i'm like i can't believe that he's you know he's he's able to to hide his money like this and he comes right out to the reporter and basically says look i'm not gonna that would be stupid if i if i owned anything from this point on they're just gonna take it away he's like so i'm not gonna do it and the reporter's like you know you can find yourself in jail for that and he's like i don't think so yeah it turns out you're going to jail you fucking fraudster you know i don't i can't believe you know this is not the only guy that's tried to get away with this shit and probably right there's probably been many many people that have gotten away with this.

But it's like the way they treat these white-collar criminals in comparison to the fucking – like the people who commit drug crimes in this country for like fucking a bag of weed or whatever is ridiculous. The disparity in justice is just fucking a joke. It is and it's awesome that this guy is – because this isn't the first run in with the law. This guy's had this guy's had multiple run ins with the law. And, you know, if you were to take that same example and say, well, like, let's let's say that this guy got caught selling a dime bag and then he got caught selling a dime bag again. Like, what would what would end up to this guy if he got a couple of, you know, minor drug offenses? He'd be spending his life in jail. You know, I mean, he'd be living in fucking jail.

Instead, this guy is writing these books. He's defying court orders because, you know, he's been he's been banned from from doing television ads before. Because he used to have infomercials. That was his thing for a long time. He had these infomercials that were full of lies. They were very misleading. He had that book. Then he switched from, because they told him, you know, no more infomercials.

You can't do that shit. And they fucking fined him a billion dollars or whatever and beat him about the head and neck. And then he switched from there to books because you can write a book about whatever the fuck you want. Like you've got, you know, you've got freedom of speech to write a book about whatever the fuck you want. Like you've got, you know, you've got freedom of speech to write a book about whatever the fuck you want. So he switched to writing books, which he just would then go and promote the book on TV. So that was his, that was the second angle that, that, then that ultimately didn't work

out for him either. You know, so this guy is constantly skirting the edge of legality and pushing that boundary in order to fucking fleece the vulnerable. And, you know, we got an interesting Facebook comment. I don't know if you saw it where somebody was like, you know, I don't know. I mean, shouldn't people just know better? Like, isn't it his right? Isn't it his right to just kind of say whatever he wants? And, you know, if he's saying untrue or misleading things and, you know, people should know better, they should do some research before they just trust this guy um and the problem that i have with that is this guy is making his living misleading lying outright um and and people that are buying these things people that are

buying the natural cures they don't want you to know aren't healthy people that don't need cures they're people who are sick. They're vulnerable people. They're desperate people. They're people for whom, you know, other options may have run out. They're people who are going to pursue apple cider vinegar instead of chemotherapy, you know, cutting their lives shorter. I mean, look at look at Steve Jobs as an example of somebody who could have survived probably a survivable cancer diagnosis, chose wackadoo bullshit instead, let things spread out of control, tried to switch to Western medicine too late, and ultimately fucking died. Like, these things are not inconsequential. This guy is a bad human being.

He's the reason protections like this even exist right you know what i mean like he like he you gotta you gotta look at it in that way i mean you know are people stupid if they send peter pop off some money for fucking get out of debt holy water yeah you're probably not all that bright if you think that you're gonna get out of debt from fucking holy water uh but at the same time, he's lying to people and there should be no protection for him for doing that. It shouldn't be that he's just crafty enough. He's just basically self-selecting the dumbest people to send him stuff. But that doesn't mean that those people deserve to be cheated because they're not smart.

That's exactly the point, right? Like, oh, you're not – I'm sorry. You're too dumb to be protected by the law. Yeah. Great. No, that's not a thing. But Kevin Trudeau is basically spending time about four blocks from me right now in the really crappy triangle prison in the middle of downtown Chicago. Maybe a little.

And I kind of want to go in and see if I could visit him. Can I visit Kevin Trudeau and just laugh at him maniacally behind the glass and then leave? That's kind of what I want to do. What a douche. I remember he was selling fucking Mega Memory when I was growing up. And I remember buying it. Like I don't know if I bought it or somebody bought it and gave it to me. I don't remember how it went.

I'm pretty sure. I don't remember buying it. So I think somebody bought it and gave it to me. but all it was was like little tricks to remember things like that's all it was and then there was like these pills that came with it that didn't do anything like fucking sugar pills it's like they increase your memories they're memory pills they're made from real memories you just gotta remember to take them like wait what we harvest these from the dreams of children that's the tears of virgins in every cup like what you should show up with a uh with a book

in his jail cell like go visit him and just have a book that says like escape plans they don't want you to know legal defenses they don't want you to. Way to get money for the commissary, they don't want you to know about. Ways not to get raped, they don't want you to know about. The apple cider vinegar cure for incarceration. How to melt bars with apple cider vinegar. Melt your way out of prison. How to make friends and influence very large, intimidating people.

You know that 500 calorie a day diet will pay off. If he keeps on doing that, he'll get so thin he'll just pass right through the box. Right there. No issue. He's just there and no prison will hold him. That was right through. Hello, Napa.

Hello, Napa. Hello, Napa. Hello, Webber. So this story comes from GayStarNews.com. Gays would be executed in an ideal world, says UK Islamic leader, whose idea of an ideal world is less than fucking ideal. If you're gay or not a bigot or just somebody who just doesn't want to see people killed for no reason which is most of the people yeah you could even not like gays i think and still be a little upset

if they kill a gay person right just like uh that's not, I'm not really comfortable with that. I don't know. The punishment fits the crime. Yeah. Let's just murder them all. But, you know, he did say this, just exactly said this. You know, it's like one of those things where you're like, I kind of implied it. He didn't just sort of imply this. Like, he just kind of came out and said that that's exactly what he meant and then he's like well but when i say ideal society i mean islamic society not a western secular society don't get me wrong come on now not a civil society i mean an islamic society yeah and i you know the other

thing too is i don't think he's not he he's not talking about all the gays being put to death like at one time. He's just talking about like one or two because he went on to say, and I'm quoting from this Gay Star News article. He went on to say that in Saudi Arabia, very, very few hands are chopped off or women are lashed, and the laws are mainly a deterrent. Very, very few hands are – you know, I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say any hand being chopped off is too many hands being chopped off. That just seems like a lot of hands being chopped off. Unless you work in like a fucking

lawnmower factory where they're constantly running. That's the only... I can't imagine having a place where fucking hands are being chopped off. And that's a country doing it. And this is or women being lashed like, oh, it's just a deterrent. It's deterrent.

A deterrent. The women that are lashed are lashed for being raped. What is that supposed to deter them from doing from being raped, being raped like we talked about last time? Like, oh, it's a deterrent. This way they won't just run out and just willy-nilly walk around getting raped happy as can be. No. No. What?

Or they're getting lashed because they were found out to be in an adulterous relationship. They weren't married or something like that. They were having sex with someone who was married and then they get lashed for it or something like that. I mean, there's, there's millions of, you know, there's, there's, there's millions of ways for them to find out ways to lash them. And here's how they, here's how they do it. They just look at the Quran and say, we should lash them.

And here's a fucking paragraph why we should lash them. That doesn't sound like a good ideal it it's the it's the whose line is it anyway judicial system where the rules are made up where the rules are made up and the points don't matter right exactly it's just the lashes are made up and the justice doesn't matter yeah the justice does not matter at all it is yeah how do you defend that like how are you like oh're just, we rarely cut off your hand. I mean, it happens, but not very. Oh, you guys.

You guys. We're not doing that that much. I mean, just the occasional hand. Come on. They got two. You ask a question in class. You just see all these stumps go up in the air. Raise your stump. Raise your stump.

Not a lot of fisting goes on in that country. Prosthetics here. I got prosthetics here. They just stump each other. It's just. I could fit my whole stump up there you go to visit saudi arabia look around and wonder it's like a whole country full of pirates back legs eye patches you walk around and just dance around like like a and a around like, and a parrot for you, and a parrot for you, and a parrot for you.

They're already in very billowy clothing. You know what I mean? Loose fitting clothing. Dude, they would have you walk in the plank. And by walking the plank, I mean they would just behead you. They would just cut off a part of your body. Very few people are getting beheaded. But it's very few.

Very few. Don't worry. Don't you worry your pretty little head that I may take off. It's mainly a deterrent beheading. It's a deterrent for you to not get your head chopped off. You won't do that again, will you? I love the fact. It's like, yeah, you know, getting your hands chopped off isn't a deterrent because if your hands are chopped off, what the fuck are you going to steal?

You know what I mean? Like you're the fucking clumsiest pickpocket in the world with a stump. You're just like trying to grab shit like with your mouth. Or you're using your prosthetic hand to reach in there and grab. Like with a hook, the best you could do is like steal a bratwurst from somebody else's plate. Like that's the best you could do. That would actually be super convenient because you can make s'mores like without the stick. You could totally make s'mores.

That would be great. I mean, yeah, you can't manipulate your environment, but you can fucking make s'mores. Yeah, and if you had a mirror, you could do your own dental work. There you go. You know what I mean? Like, you could just take the tartar right off your teeth. You know, I think people focus on the downsides of being forcibly amputated. Individualism of feminism has been devastating to this country.

Dave, I'd say you ought to say no to the Girl Scout cookies, too. I mean, I don't want to support lesbianism. I don't want to support Planned Parenthood, and I don't want to support abortion. And if that be the case, I'm not buying Girl Scout cookies. I suppose if you take a big, fat, black magic marker and say, here, give me that box, and you start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes, then maybe we're not promoting that organization anymore, and I'd be willing to buy it. Maybe so.

Maybe it's not food offered to idols anymore if I have the opportunity to scratch out references to the Girl Scouts of America on the boxes of the Girl Scout cookies offered to me at Safeway. Those are some pretty expensive cookies you're eating, though. Yeah, that's true. At some point, a Christian has to say, the earth is the Lord's and fullness thereof. I understand that. I understand that, but I just don't.

And where you spend your money, actually, you know, it does count. It does, and I don't want to promote a wicked organization that is, according to its own website, doesn't promote godly womanhood. It just doesn't. I don't see anything that promotes godly womanhood. It just doesn't. I don't see anything that promotes godly womanhood. The vision of the Girl Scouts of America is antithetical to a biblical vision for womanhood, friends. It's antithetical to it. Please, I beg of you, do not buy Girl Scout cookies. Please, I beg of you. Stop buying Girl Scout cookies. And if you do,

take a big black magic marker and cross out every reference to Girl Scouts of America on all the signs and all the boxes, because we don't want to promote that organization. So this next story comes from Right Wing Watch. Kevin Swanson begs you not to buy

communist lesbian Girl Scout cookies. Whew! Where do you even start with this one where the fuck do you start with this one this guy is just he's a just a joy to listen to his anti-feminism rant is one of the like top 10 most utterly disconnected from reality rants I have ever heard in my entire life. Yeah, this guy, he's got this great bit here where he's talking about in the very beginning. I'm going to read. This is him basically saying this. He says, I beg of you to stop buying Girl Scout cookies. But if they do, he said, they should take a big, fat, black magic marker and start marking out all the references to the Girl Scouts of America on the boxes.

Swanson warned that wicked Girl Scouts are promoting lesbian abortion, calling their cookies food offered to idols. You know, the first thing that comes to my mind is, OK, so let's say you don't support the Girl Scouts of America. Let's say, you know what? I don't support your feminist ideals. I don't support those ideals, so I'm not going to buy Girl Scout cookies. Well, you know what? Actually, I really love your cookies. There's no way I can stop buying your fucking cookies.

There's no way I have to get a box of like samosas and like a fucking like a thin man. I have to shove like like shove in my mouth. So my convictions is not as strong in my belly. I just don't have the willpower. So I will give you the money, but i'm just going to take a black magic marker and write on your box covering up because what i do with the girl scout cookies you know what you do with the money is not promote your organization no that's that's ridiculous no the money just goes to wherever basically who cares doesn't matter cookies yeah buys it basically makes more cookies

you could sell more cookies what really matters is the box because somehow I walked down the street with the box to show people how proud I am that I bought your cookies. And because nobody else has ever heard of the Girl Scouts of America, then they wouldn't know, obviously would have no idea about where I got them from if I wrote on the box. They would be like, man, where did you get those? What kind of weird box is that that's weird did you get those from jewel or like like 7-eleven or because you like scratched all over the box and they look fucking like thin mints but you know maybe like what the fuck are you serious you're gonna give them money and then write on the box why wouldn't you just take them home go in the bathroom

shut and lock the door and eat them in fucking shame like everyone else like just be like everyone else damn it just just sit in the dark eating your fucking box of samoas in the dark like all the rest of us fat fucks like that's what you're supposed to do are they samoas i don't know are they samosas i thought they're samosas i if they're samoans that's even better that would be like i'll have seven samoans samoa smoa us samoa that's what i said right samoa maybe i don't know maybe i said samosas which is like a an indian food that makes it i can't get i get that mimosa mixed up so like the girls you're like well it does sound refreshing that sounds nice i'll take one did they have a they have a samosa stand or a mimosa stand instead of that would be fucking terrific it's just what they should have is a samoa's samoans mimosas and samosas stand so It's just, what they should have is Samoas, Samoans,

mimosas and samosas, Stan. So it's just, they have Samoans serving you Samoas and samosas with a mimosas drink. Is that the most culturally confusing

Stan? The Samoans gotta be a lesbian. When you bite, when you try desperately to take a marker and write on your mimosa, it's just coming off. It's not working, dammit.

Oh, that mimosa's a dyke drink anyway. Come on now. Oh, that mimosa is a dyke drink anyway. Come on now. Oh, shit. This story is off the rails. We've lost the story. It's off the rails. Come back.

Oh, shit. I fucking navigated away from the story. No, I think this guy is so crazy though. He talks about the – like first he talks about how he bags on feminism for a while. But he also bags on the reason why he calls them like a feminist lesbian organization is because I guess that they had the first openly homosexual mayor talk at their – at one of their like shindigs or whatever. Right. Fucking jubilees or whatever they have. They had a talk there

and it's like that's a condemnation of the entire group yeah whoever you invite like somebody came to your like no matter how crazy you are just the fact that a person arrived at your organization and had a talk like you're not just automatically aligned with everything they do and say i know i mean that's not how like you could never have any speaker to a place if that was the case like nobody would ever be allowed to be at a place because there's always going to be something you disagree with like whether it's you know the relative merits of pulp fiction you know what i mean like it's not like you like it's like you had somebody come over and they're like i liked inglorious bastards you're like fuck i had him speak in my fucking graduation so now i like that movie too yeah i didn't think i liked it

shit what else do i like yeah we like lima beans like fucking i hated those yesterday god it blew in my mind well that's why there's so many gays out there is because dan savage has given talks for years. And every time he gives a talk, everybody in the audience turns gay. Just immediately. What about Anderson Cooper? Oh, geez. I mean, he's just turning them. How many people is he reaching?

The country is doomed. It's going to be like Children of Men. You know, like nobody's going to be able to reproduce. That's because we're all the gays. I know. God, it's going to be the worst. I'll's because we're all the gays. Well, I know. God, it's going to be the worst. I'll tell you what, though. I'm looking at this Samoa cookie.

Yeah. That's a good looking cookie. Dude, I fucking love that cookie. That cookie is good. That cookie is not allowed in my house. Yeah, I know. I definitely don't eat those in shame. I just eat them by the handful.

I will eat the entire box of those cookies. Oh, come a box. What are you, a fucking beginner? I pour them in a bowl like breakfast cereal. Yeah, fucking A, man. I just have an enormous bowl at my work that I use that other people

might use for fruit. I just pour samosas in there. And it's just toppling with them every day. But every day when I walk out of there, it's empty. You don't walk out of places. Every day we do a fucking rascal scooter out of there. Who are you kidding? I get my little scooter running.

The one with the beeps when you go back. They had to widen the hall for me at work. They had to move you to the first floor. So now we're going to take a break. And then we are just going to fuck up the rest of this thing. It's all for real. We're not going to talk about any of the stories. Want to get in touch with the show?

Send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Be sure to follow the show on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is at Dissonance underscore pod. Like the podcast page on Facebook at Facebook.com forward slash DissonancePod or just type Cognitive Dissonance into the Facebook search bar. Want your voice featured on our show? Leave a short message on our Google Voice at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828.

Visit DissonancePod.com to see the news stories featured in the show, buy apps and merchandise, or just leave a comment. And to everyone who helps spread the word about the show by sharing it, tweeting it, and rating it on iTunes, glory hole. You fucking rock. So this story also comes from ABC News. Let's see if it just fucking plays video at me. No, fine. Let's me talk about it. Oklahoma judge sentences teen to church for 10 years.

Fuck you, dude. That sucks. This judge, Mike Norman, decided that a teen offender who got into a drunken car accident and killed his friend, that the right way to treat that situation would be to sentence him to 10 years of church, among other things. Doesn't that give you, like, the fucking message that church is a punishment? Yeah. If you're trying to promote church, maybe you shouldn't treat it like the fucking next worst thing to prison. Didn't they used to do this like back in the day?

Like you can like go to jail or like sign up for the fucking army and go fight in the war. Yeah. Or like become a pirate or something. Yarr. Are you ready to take your whooping? No. Why don't they just, why can't we just be civilized and chop his hand off?

Right. We don't want to chop a lot of his hands off. Yeah. Maybe like one leg and an arm up to the elbow, let's say. Arm up to the elbow. Fuck. Shit. I want to read part of what this guy had to say because I thought it was pretty awesome.

He says, I'm not going to be automatic. I guarantee you. It's not going to be automatic. I guarantee you, Norman said, of the church sentence and the future man slaughter charges. He says, there are a lot of people who say that I can't do what I did. They're telling me I can't legally sentence someone to church. And the first thing that popped in my head has been probably saying something like, there's a bunch of law talking people around saying I can't do what I've done. Well, I say I've already done it.

I've already done it. This guy is awesome. Yeah. There's a lot of people saying that you can't do it because it's not a thing you should be doing. You know, sentencing someone to church, because what if he likes church? Like, you know, I don't know anybody who's like, yeah, I'm going to get up in the morning and Sunday, you know, before breakfast and head on over to prison. Nobody says that. Right. He's like, man, go on over there and spend a couple hours in prison,

then come home and have a big bacon filled breakfast nobody says that yeah we're gonna go to the ihop after prison today so no make sure to wear your fucking prison vest yeah prison vest well i mean this is just such a i mean obviously what he's saying here is that the church will reform this kid right right that's that's the that's the thing right the church will reform him if he goes to church this will make him a better stronger more moral character like this will build him into he'll find god and by in that process of finding god he will become a better man like he will become somebody who makes better choices except for we know that doesn't work.

Like we know that that doesn't work. Like there's fucking a gilgillion points of evidence that that just is not really a thing. That you can fucking go to church and then shoot somebody immediately afterward. You can go to church and fucking rape little kids when you work at the church. Like it does not make you a better person to attend a church and plus if all you have to do is attend to the church and you get to stay out of jail doesn't even mean that you have to pay attention you don't have to be polite you don't even have to be respectful in the church i could fucking show up to the church and treat it like this

podcast i can't think of anything i treat with less respect than this podcast. That's true. Other than your body, maybe. Oh, yes. Oh, my God, yes. You know, I'm going to do a little something here that I probably shouldn't do, but I'm going to play a little devil's advocate. I don't know that you're going to get any better in prison either.

Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? But at least it's punitive, right? So that's the thing that we're talking about here is like our prison system in general is not a rehabilitation type system. It's not made for rehabilitation. Now, there are rehabilitation stories that come out of prison and people do rehabilitate while they're in there.

But that's not the purpose of prison. The purpose of prison, there's two purposes. One, it's to make us feel better about them serving time, right? So we feel better about making sure that their life is fucked up now. And we prove that by not hiring them after they come out. And then secondly, we also use them to build things, right? So we have a large slave labor group to put to – basically we have free slave labor.

Well, not free. It's not free. We pay them pennies on the hour. But still, it's almost free. Let's call it indentured servitude. So those are the two main reasons that prison is the way it is in our country. This in some ways feels like he's trying to rehabilitate the kid. He's trying to say, I think that there's something worth saving here.

I don't think this kid deserves prison. I think he should be rehabilitated. Now you could argue that there are better rehabilitation programs out there. There's probably a better rehabilitation program, you know, even when you come down to it, just even looking at like, you know, substance abuse or whatever other things that you want to do. You know, even community service to me feels like it would be better than sending him to church. But but at least he's not just, you know, punitively dammit. You know, does that make any sense?

Yeah, I look, I actually think the judge's heart is in the right place, right? Like he sees this kid. This kid's a teenager. I mean, let's be honest. What did he do that many of us didn't do? The only part that he didn't do, many of us have gotten drunk in our teens. Many of us have driven cars when we were drunk in our teens. So, I mean, that's just a thing that many of us have done.

The difference here is that it went too far with this kid. Now, you know, do I think that he, that we should throw his life in the fucking toilet by throwing him in prison? I actually don't think so. No. Um, but yeah, community service would be better. Like, Hey, go build fucking houses for the next five years with Habitat for Humanity or something, you know, like do any kind of community service, like any kind of volunteer work. And if he chooses to do that through a church who gives a shit, I don't care. But when he specifically sentences him to church, it's a clear violation of the separation of church and state. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. No, I totally see that. Yeah, no, I, and I agree. And I agree. I think that that is the – that's the part that sticks with me too is because it feels like he could be doing so many other things to help him.

Sentencing the church doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to be helped in any way. If you're looking to help him, then try to help him. Try to make sure that he's going to do the right – because could see him you know working uh working at like a place where they they have some sort of uh outreach for people who've lost loved ones in car accidents or something you know something like that you know that would be you know it'd be a heart-wrenching thing for him to do every week but he did you know fucking a man it's you know you killed somebody so let's let's you know, paying that back in some way. But to say like – I mean I think that to say you should go to church is – like you say, it's a clear violation.

And this guy, you know, I think he recognizes it as clear violation, but he's just saying I dare you to come push me off my stomach. Exactly. Exactly. It's like he looks around. He's like, I'm in Oklahoma. Yeah. I'm pretty fucking safe here, I'm in Oklahoma. Yeah. I'm pretty fucking safe here. I'm getting reelected.

Right? If you follow sports much, you'll notice that there are almost no homosexual athletes in the major sports. Right. You know, certainly not in the professional sports and none that I know know of in the college sports except in very, very minor roles. And it's interesting because, you know, if you go into any public school, you see like a large percentage of the teachers, at least where I live, are out homosexuals. And I think that, you know, my own analysis of that is that it's so difficult to become, you know, an athlete at that level that the psychological issues going, you know, that are going through you in the homosexual lifestyle just don't cut it. Right. You know, and because you just need this this this you know very high degree of stability ability alertness yes you know everything else right and so so you see almost no

uh athletes you know homosexual in the professional sports or the high level you know the you know football leagues or baseball or anything like that. Almost none. So this next story comes from Right Wing Watch. Kamenker. Kamenker? Kankersaur. Kankersaur. Victims of gay bashing had it coming. Brian Kankersaur of mass resistance

chatted with Mission America's Linda Harvey over the weekend to discuss this article about how gay rights activists and athletes will smuggle pro-LGBT propaganda into Russia during the Olympics. Russia's got some problems with the homosexual community lately in that they're virulently, virulently. You came close. Yeah.

Aggressively. Anti-homosexual. I'm not even going to try. You almost fudded that shit or whatever. Porky pig did. I don't know. Who used to do that with the – I think it was Porky Pig, wasn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's apt. Anyway, go ahead. Thanks. Thanks. I mean, the accuracy of your analogy frightens and disturbs me. Like Russia has gone like full-on fucking gay-bashing crazy in the last several years.

I mean, like, just fucking lunatic crazy on this shit. Yeah. That we're looking to Russia? Like, Russia was our enemy for, like, 60 years. And, like, now, like, the fucking evangelicals are looking to places like Uganda and Russia as their shining fucking stars. What the fuck have you picked? Yeah, this is the craziest thing. Did you – when he played, when he started this, the thing about the sports where he's like, if you follow sports, you'll notice that there are almost no homosexual athletes in major sports.

Then he goes on to say, like, there's a lot of homosexual teachers. And he's basically saying, like, there's a high degree of stability, alertness and everything else. So you see almost no athletes, you know, homosexuals in the professional sports at a high level. He's basically just basically saying, like, like teachers. Oh, they're gay like crazy because that shit doesn't require anything. But when you require some sort of physical, mental, high degree of stability and alertness, oh, you can't be gay. I mean, come on.

There's no way you're a gay person. I like, too, that he's like the schools, any public school, you see a large percentage of the teachers are out homeless. A large percentage. Large large percentage of the teachers are out homeless a large percentage large percentage of the teachers i'm gonna guess it's like four to six percent like the rest of the fucking general population right i think it's funny too like people are saying you know there's no gay there's not a lot of gay athletes and you're like well get athletes don't take up a large portion of the population. Like they're a small subsect.

And if you, I bet you probably, you know, maybe there's not many, many out ones, but there's gay athletes. Oh, for fucking certain, man. Yeah. I know that there's, there's a few out ones, but there's, I think that there's, and there's a lot more out ones, I think in the Olympics than there are in other, in other groups. I think, you know, there was just recently an out nba player i know that that uh they were upset about uh one of those uh one an out nfl player that was that was gay so there's been people that have come out in

uh in some some of the sports there's an out mma a girl in m. There's a girl who's out and she's in MMA. So, you know, the thing is that there's a million reasons why a professional or semi-professional athlete who is a homosexual would be fucking quiet about that shit. Because there's a certain culture of athletics. Especially in male athletics, there's a certain certain aggressive, overly machismo filled culture that is pretty retroactive. That's the wrong word. I can't fucking speak today, Cecil. It's pretty regressive in a lot of ways.

And that culture is not going to, generally speaking, embrace somebody coming out. That's why it was a big deal when somebody come, you know, like, I even heard – I don't follow fucking sports. I heard about the NBA player that came out not that long ago. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it's a big deal because that's – culturally in the sports world, that's just not an accepted thing to do. So that's – I mean that's got to be a big part of the reason.

But regardless, what the fuck is this guy on about? He starts talking about the homophobic beatings, like people beating people up. And I'm going to read directly from this article. It says Harvey defended Russia's new anti-gay laws and insisted that no logical person would believe such laws are related to the rise in homophobic violence, doubting that such violence is even occurring. doubting that such violence is even occurring. On the other hand, this guy didn't doubt that violence directed at gay people in Russia is taking place, but said that it is the fault of the gay people. If you're going to do something like that, and this is quoting this douchebag in quotes right now, if you're going to do something like that, most of the population considers bad or immoral or disgusting in public, you're going to get a certain reaction. They think

that they can push as far as they can, and sometimes you just can't do it. And it's like, are you fucking serious? First you say, well, come on. I mean, they're not beating people up. But the ones that are getting beat up fucking deserve it. Right. Right. Hey, you know, can you imagine what you have to do to deserve just getting beaten?

Like just getting beaten in the street. Like if I walked down the street and I was like, I disagree with your views. If that was enough for somebody to just run over and be like, well, he disagreed with me. So I fucking beat the shit out of him because I've seen these news stories. These people, I mean, people are getting set upon. They're getting attacked by gangs of thugs. They're getting raped with like broomsticks and bottles and beaten in public parks. It's not a minor – like it's not like they're getting like pushed around in a bully circle and taunted and made to lick a frozen fucking fence pole.

Like this isn't like Christmas story beat up. Like this is holy shit. I got a brain bleed beat up. Yeah. There's no way you can provoke that. You cannot provoke that. And the way they're provoking it, you know, and this guy even says, like, they're walking around, like, you know, like, being affectionate with their loved ones. Grr.

Yeah. Like, what? Can you imagine if you walked down the street and you're, like, got your arm around your wife and somebody's like, I don't like men and women together. Swap. Hit you with a baseball bat or something. It's crazy. Yeah. I mean, you're right.

It's totally insane. And, you know, what's the worst thing that happens to somebody if they see someone else showing affection to someone else? What's the worst thing that happens? You need some eye bleach, right? You go, oh, God, I didn't want to see that. Get a room. That's the worst thing that happens? You need some eye bleach, right? You go, oh, God, I didn't want to see that. Get a room. That's the worst thing that happens to you.

Right. Because you saw something that you don't agree with. And your day moves on, right? You're just like – because there's an easy solution, right? Like if you don't want to see something, fucking turn your head a little bit. Like we are not like – we don't have fucking omnidirectional eyes that don't close. You just fucking turn your head like oh they're you know like you know i don't care who the couple is like i don't like to see like if i look over and

like just two people are making out i'm like a little uncomfortable i like turn my head that's a private moment i don't i don't need to be a part of your private moment i'm that's makes me mildly uncomfortable so i just turn my head and head and then I don't think about it anymore. I'm like, oh, I turned my head. Time to go get coffee or read a book or carry on with my life. At no point am I like, oh, I'm a little uncomfortable. I'm going to call all my friends so we can set upon them like thugs. You know, the liberals, the so-called socialists, the progressives, they've moved away from God.

And when you move away from god then you say we're humanists and then as a result of humanity and rejecting god you have the orgy of the french revolution you have the the guillotine cutting off the heads of thousands of people you have the same thing going on now in europe you had it under the nazis. Why can't we come back to the fact that God loves people? And this comes from the raw story. Oh, Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson predicts Nazis and guillotines because of atheists rejecting God. Oh, Pat Robertson. Just so fucking crazy. During a Monday report about a bill in Belgium that would expand the country's euthanasia law to terminally ill children, Robertson said that the Nazi Germany spirit of death still existed in Europe today. humane consensual ending of a human life

under closely guarded watch by a physician is exactly the same thing as Nazi Germany. Those are analogies you can make, Cecil. That is accurate.

People don't know this. It's a little known secret, but all the Jews had cancer. They were just all on cancer. All of them. Every single one of them had cancer. Yeah. They all had Lou Gehrig's disease too just to make it worse. And they had like – it was all like stage four pancreatic cancer too.

It was like – I mean it was really bad. So basically they just put them in the showers. They gave them the Zyklon B to just help them on their path. They call it in German the spirit of death. I don't know if you knew this, but that's what they call it, is the spirit of death. So it's just a nice way to say euthanasia. The Zyklon B was just overwrought chemo. That's all that it was.

Yeah, right, right. In the same way that the uh bomb and nagasaki was just uh radiation therapy yeah that's the same thing that's exactly it it's just cancer treatment centers that's all it is just we're just we're doing a little cancer treatment and the thing is that it works because when it's over they don't have any more cancer no all the cancer is gone all the cancer is gone from everywhere in Japan. They haven't had a case of cancer in a long time there. You want to cure cancer, drop an atomic bomb.

Just call no scientist ever. I love this. I'm going to read what he – because we just played what he said, but I'm going to read it. It says, you know the liberals, the so-called socialists, the progressives, they moved away from God. And when you move away from God and you say we're humanists, then as a result of humanity and rejecting God, you have an orgy of the French Revolution. And suddenly I've never been so interested in pictures from the French Revolution. I've never been so interested in pictures from the French Revolution. You have the guillotine cutting off people's heads of thousands of people.

Heads of thousands of people is what he says. The guillotine cutting off heads of – like suddenly this entire world that is slowly and slowly, slowly going toward no death penalty, right? That basically different countries are phasing it out. They don't think it's necessary. Suddenly, because of socialism and the orgy that we have in French Revolution clothes, we all decide it's time to start lopping people's heads off again. Thousands of people's heads off. Am I the only one who, when I heard heard that i just pictured the guillotine on its own moving through the streets like running around right just like this roving guillotine just chopping heads off like i'm so hungry people are running down the street in terror from the guillotine

fucking what's going on the socialists the guillotines have come alive yeah there's no guillotines pat like that's not a thing anymore well they and the the worst thing you have is the finger chopper offer in in iran you know i mean like that's as close as we get now you know they don't even need guillotines in some of those countries they just use swords to chop people's heads off um i want to get back i want to get to his finishing lines though he says you have the same thing going on now in Europe. You had it. You had it under the Nazis.

That's where he brings in. He's got to bring in the Nazis. Right. But then he says, why can't we come back to the fact that God loves people? God loves people so much. He infects them with cancer. They have some debilitating children. He doesn't. It's not just people. Right. It's not just like fucking an old man. I with cancer. They have some debilitating children. He doesn't.

It's not just people, right? It's not just like fucking an old man. I got cancer. I'm going to die. OK, no, this is a fucking kid. You're like, OK, well, kids got cancer. Oh, well, yeah. You know, it's so sad.

He's going to die some horrible fucking way where he basically fucking vomits his fucking insides out. Yeah, we can maybe make that a little easier. But God loves him so much. He wants to suffer. He wants him to suffer through every moment of that shitty illness. All right. So you may notice a difference in Tom and I's voice between the previous bit that we recorded and this bit.

We had a catastrophic failure worth of recording the other night when we were doing the email section. So we are up relatively early morning at this point for a Sunday after a party and a little worse for wear. But we are going to do a talk a little bit about some emails that we got and then uh quietly go gorge ourselves and nap for the rest of the day yeah this is probably to everybody's advantage yeah like at this point i'm only functioning at like 30 percent right so and that's that's tops as opposed to the 37 i usually bring to the show so yeah tom is in he's in top gun form this morning.

I'm in recovery mode. That's what I meant. Somebody fucking booted me up in recovery mode, and I'm just waiting. All cylinders are not firing here. You had the blue screen of death for several nights in a row. So we're going to get started with the email. We want to just say hello to Stuart, who runs a podcast called Exposing Pseudo-Astronomy. Stuart and us have been talking a little bit

about possibly doing a short commercial promo for his show. And we just wanted to say hello to Stuart. And if you haven't checked out Exposing Pseudo-Astronomy, you should. I'm going to see if I can find a link and post it on this week's show notes. So if you get a chance to take a look, it's episode – whatever the fuck I said the episode was at the beginning of the show because I don't even remember. At this point, 120 – It's my job to forget the basics.

Is it 22, 21, something like that? 122, my friend. 122? 122, yeah. OK. So it's 122. Check out the show notes and check out Stuart's podcast. We also got an email from the Atheism 101 podcast, Matt and Tim, and they said the reason why they contacted us basically is because they have referenced cognitive dissonance about three times now so whenever i guess whenever people search they will find us as well and he said that so you can thank us for the 1 to 16 listeners and

tom and i have noticed a bump i mean we've noticed well it's pretty much our listenership yeah it's tripled our listenership so thank you very much no that's for the huge bump good luck atheism 101 that's awesome i think that's you know that's it's fucking vital we get an email from peace and peace uh says that uh she's an african american male i'm not a male a female it's early morning it's like one o'clock it's one o'clock she's not a male there's a fee in there and i'm also referring to him as she. So I think that she should be the pronoun that I'm using. Okay, let's just do all that African-American female. We got the African-American part right.

I did. I did. Yeah, I'm good there. I rolled that in. But the fee in front of the male was missing. Born and raised in the church and was extremely hard to break out of the Christian metal change. But a website greatly helped her with the deconversion, and it's the Brick Testament.

So we're going to put up a link to the Brick Testament. Tom had never seen the Brick Testament before. I hadn't, and I checked it out, actually, and I watched it after the first time we tried to record the email section. I watched probably 15 minutes of it that evening, maybe 20 minutes of it. It's funny as hell. Yeah, it is. It's awesome to see because you read that stuff and it's just like those are just some stuff.

It's like that's just a crazy story. But even to see it made into life with Lego pieces, which is clearly absurdist, but you see it and you're like, well, that's not a moral good. No, you guys can't slaughter people like that and be a good book. Yeah, so thank you

for suggesting it. We'll put it on episode what is it, 22? 1-22. We're not regressing that even though people are necro posting from like episode 50 on our comments we got criticized

for something that happened 72 weeks ago I know June of 2012 like I don't even fucking remember I fucking got married in June and I don't even remember what I did on my anniversary June of 2012. Like, I don't even fucking remember. Like, I fucking got married in June, and I don't even remember, like, what I did on my anniversary June of 2012. So we also got an email for a T-shirt idea, Tom, which I think is pretty hilarious. Yeah, the front of the T-shirt would say, I got blank by a priest.

And then the back of it would say blessed why would it be anything else and if t-shirts didn't cost you know 70 to get one proofed out then we would probably create that t-shirt because they cost so much money and we never recoup that fund because people don't buy enough t-shirts to actually cover the funds so we make new t-shirts people buy three of them and then we're like oh well great we've netted seven dollars and we're out 80 so t-shirts are not a good business decision it turns out we've got to sell them in the big arenas when we sell out you know like when we take this shit on the road yeah we go on tour with aerosmith and other has been we can go opening for the Stones.

We're both as visually unappealing as the Stones. Right, no kidding. That's why you go on tour with them, because you're just like, it makes no difference what horror show I have done to my body. horror show i have done to my body like what whatever terrible abuses that my body has graciously agreed to suffer pale in comparison to that fucking walking mummy up there it's like mum ra there bro that's awesome there was a picture of steven tyler recently and it was like him like with his hair pulled back and his and his face because he's had all that plastic surgery he looked like a chick man he looked straight up like a chick that's awesome that's great i know he's not in the stones but he's in the same sort of handbag face it's like

a handbag they're all in the louis vuitton right, Tom, we got a comment on our frequently asked questions that you wanted to address. Yeah, so we got a comment that said, one comment in a recent episode, he talked about Orthodox Jews kidnapping and torturing husbands who refused to grant their wives a divorce. He described the perps as Jew thugs. You also used the phrase Jew divorce. And you should be careful about the Jew ex-phraseology. Calling someone a Jewish boy is fine. Calling them a Jew boy is a slur. I suspect that if you asked a hundred Jews what they felt about your use of

Jew thugs and Jew divorce, all of them would take offense. Um, I don't think you intended it in a derogatory way. You were trying to be funny, but used the word Jew in a way that comes across as insulting. Uh, oops,

that I didn't know. Um, so, uh, we talked about this the first time we recorded and then after, and I, and before I, I, I just didn't know. So we talked about this the first time we recorded and then after and before. I just didn't know. So I apologize. I'm not trying to throw out like – I mean obviously I love to insult people.

But I'm not trying to do it through the use of slurs. That's crude and underhanded and I'm not interested in doing that. So sorry about that. It wasn't my intention. I will make a conscious effort not to do that again. I just didn't really know that that was a thing. Yeah, I didn't either. And it's not like we received tons of email about it. We received a comment. So hopefully people realize that it wasn't meant. And I'm glad that somebody pointed out that like it is, it could be misinterpreted because we've done that before. Like we did that when we talked about tranny and how that's a that's a derogatory term. We didn't realize it was a it was a it was a slur, you know, things like that.

So, you know, again, it's it's I don't think Jew itself is a slur. But I think like he's saying, attaching it to another thing, saying Jew something is a is a slur. So we'll we'll try to avoid doing that in the future. It's not certainly with no malice in our heart. Right. So it sounds to me like you can use it as a noun, but not as an adjective. Right. Oh, there you go.

That's a good way to put it. That's kind of remember that. But that's a good way to put it wrong about that. Let me know because I don't want to. Yeah. Start fucking slurring it up. So we got an email from Helen, Tom, and I want you to just read the whole thing and then we'll talk about it. Good afternoon.

This is a longtime listener, first time emailer from New York City. I first want to thank you for your many, many hours of laughs. I'm a grad student who toils in a dark, dank lab for most of my days, and your podcast has helped me stay sane for many of those. You guys are awesome at what you do or were. Recently, I've been growing more and more weary of your rants against islam i was just listening to your latest episode burn spotify and honestly what the fuck i'm very alarmed that you guys don't see that sam harris source of human evil numbers three and four are the same just from different perspectives you guys didn't say it out loud but basically your message is to fuck moral relativism and stop saying that the Taliban is only a sect of Islam.

Right? So your rationale is that we should condemn Islam altogether. Well, what do you think Malala is? I know you brought her up as a shining example of what regular Muslims should do and that they should stand against such radicals as the Taliban. I agree with you there. However, the point that you guys always seem to forget

is that it's easier said than done. It's easy for us to sit on our fat asses and say that there's not enough Muslim voices against radicalism. But seriously, do you guys really think that you would be able to? This is a complicated issue, and obviously, considering all the facts and perspectives, would not make for an entertaining podcast. But if you can't do it justice, just leave it alone.

I'm hoping that you guys aren't as simple as you're making yourselves sound. Of course, it's your podcast. You can say whatever the hell you want. I just don't know how much more of your anti-Islam rants I can take. Don't give me that shit that you're not anti-Muslim. When you have to post that as one of your FAQs, you know that you're saying stuff that can easily be interpreted as anti-Islam. Other than that, keep carrying on and bashing on all religions and how senseless it all is.

You just go one step too far is all. Warm regards, Helen. So I got a couple things to say, and I'm going to turn it over to Tom. I just want to reference a couple things you said. You say that basically our message is to fuck moral relativism and stop saying that the Taliban is a sect of Islam. And then you say your rationale is that we should condemn Islam altogether. And I will say that, one, we said to fuck moral relativism outwardly. That's not our message.

It's not basically our message. That is our message. Fuck moral relativism, period. That is a useless thing that does not help anyone. It makes people feel – all it does is allow people to feel guilty when they talk about something that they think is an evil but they shouldn't be talking about, that they shouldn't be able to condemn it. And I think we should be able to condemn evils when we see them. Also, that's a false choice. It's a false choice fallacy. When you say, well, you either – it's fuck moral relativism and we say that the Taliban isn't a sect.

So basically you're saying that we have to condemn all Islam. No, it's just saying that the Taliban is bigger than a small sect of Islam. And it doesn't mean that we want to condemn all Muslims. And I'll leave condemning Islam to Tom here in a few seconds. But I will say we don't want to – I don't want to condemn all Muslims. And I don't think that Tom wants to condemn all Muslims. So let's leave that out on the table. You also say that it's a complicated issue and that if we can't cover it, we can't – I obviously won't make it for an initially podcast.

But you can't do it justice. Leave it alone. I think that we do do it justice, and I don't think it's as complicated as you're making it out to be. The people from the Taliban got on a bus and shot a young girl in the face for promoting Western thinking. That's what fucking happened, period. So the Taliban, the word Taliban is derived from the word Talib, which is a student, a student of Islam.

So it's hard to divorce that from the fact that they are following a religious doctrine that says that, you know, their women are, they should be submissive to the man and they should be submissive in their culture and should not learn. There's a reason why being Western is hated and we can debate that, but it specifically has to do with girl book learning here. And if a girl's book learning, she gets shot in the face for it. I don't think that that's a complicated issue. And then you also say at the end, which I take, I think is the, is telling you say, other than that, keep on carrying and bashing on all religions and how senseless it all is. And it's like, it's okay to talk about a kid getting diddled

and condemning the church for that. But we can't talk about other people getting fucked by Islam. And I think that that's again, you're this is this is your moral relativism that's coming. That's coming out here. You're saying you feel guilty about us talking about Islam. So you don't want us to talk about Islam. That's what it seems like to me. You know, I'm entirely comfortable with my I can be anti-Islam without being anti somebody who is Muslim. I'm entirely comfortable making that distinction. One of the things that's in here is, you know, I hope you're not that simple. I don't think that I'm simple.

I'm able to differentiate the gray here and say that I don't think Islam is a set of good ideas. Let's not forget. It's all made up. It's not a true. Like it's not one of the great truths. It's made up. It is made fucking up. It's a bunch of fucking bedtime stories.

With genies and flying horses. And people take it so seriously that someone got shot in the face. And people take it so seriously that someone got shot in the face. People take it so seriously that we have a story that we're going to talk about. In Brunei, a sultan is introducing amputations and stoning. Amputations and stoning people to death because of Sharia law. That is the justification. This is not a, man, they have a rich cultural heritage too.

And we should respect their tradition of fine arts and architecture and all the wonderful things that the Muslim culture has brought to the world. So because I respect those, I somehow have to also respect or feel uncomfortable criticizing, you know, Muslim or Islam in general. Fuck that noise. I think that, you know, a tremendous amount of the good that has been done by Muslim people across the world, which is inestimable, I mean, it is a tremendous amount of good, is in defiance of Islam. Islam holds the world back. It is a set of bad ideas made up out of whole cloth as a fiction. And a result of that fiction is, you know, Saudi Arabia, where people are fucking beheaded, where there is no system of actual written laws. It's women wearing burqas. That is a thing. That's half a population of many countries, of entire people, half of their population, systematically disenfranchised for generations. And I am supposed to look at that and say I can't judge that because I'm part of a Western tradition rather than this Middle Eastern.

Yeah, fuck that noise. I'm okay with saying I'm anti-Islam. Islam is a set of made up beliefs that hurt people. I'm not anti an individual who happens to be Muslim. I don't give a fuck. If you're a good person and you're Muslim, you're a good person and you're Muslim and we can hang out together. I'll have you to my house and we'll not drink beer together. That's cool.

For real. Like I could give two fucks right but if you are promoting an agenda that hurts people that seeks to make justifications for violence and disenfranchisement then i will fucking drop my nuts in your mouth all day and i think there's value to that yeah i i think too you know it's not just it's not just islam it's religion because i look at the other things you know there's a they're they're using uh religion in this case to disenfranchise women well what about all the people over here that are using religion to disenfranchise homosexuals? Fuck you. Right. You, you don't get to do that. What about all the people who use that, that religion to fucking somehow hoard all the pedophiles in one spot where they can fucking just have a fucking, a fucking kitty ditty, carnally, carnal, carnal fucking ride where they're just like, hey, it's carnival time.

Fucking put your balls in my hands. Like, are you serious? Like, I'm not supposed to look at that and be like, hey, that's kind of some shady shit that you guys seem to fucking play fucking. It's like a fucking shell game with fucking priests, man. I know. Where they're just moving around. Where's the fucking diddler? Where's the diddler? Is he under shell number one?

Shell number two? Like, you know, that's some fucking horrible shit. Three diddler? Where's the diddler? Is he under shell number one, shell number two? Like, you know, that's some fucking horrible shit. Three diddler money. Seriously, though, it's like it's it's I should be able to point that shit out and say that shit is wrong. You know, I'm not going to I'm not going to apologize for anything I've said about like Islam in the past. And you're right. I don't have any. The thing is,

is I could sit down with a Catholic. I could sit down with a Protestant. I could sit down with a Muslim and I can have a conversation and not prejudge those people at all, period, in any way. The moment they start making their claims and having their ideas speak for them, then I'll judge them accordingly. So if a guy is Muslim and sits down with me and we start talking, he's like, yeah, I don't agree with, you know, I think women should have as much rights as men, blah, blah, blah. Totally cool. But if he starts saying all this crazy shit, like I'm totally fine with amputations. I think you're a crazy person, right?

And I'm allowed to individually think people are crazy if they think amputations are a thing we should be doing. So, you know, I just feel like, you know, you want to apologize. There's a, there's this sort of feeling that we have because we're, you know, we're currently slaughtering, you know, a lot of people with fucking drone strikes and whatnot that we feel guilty. And we want to say, oh, we're so sorry about that. So we're, you know, so your rich tradition of fucking murdering your women and stoning them and fucking keeping them on the, you know, completely ignorant is totally fine because, you know, once in a while we're shooting a drone at you.

No, that's not fucking the drone strike should be condemned. But so should fucking, you know, basically subjugating half of your population. Yeah, let's treat them as what they are, two separate issues, both of which need condemning. Yeah, but thanks for listening, Helen. Yeah, thanks for the email. I mean, seriously, thanks for the email. I mean, I seriously, thanks for the email. You know, we don't agree with it, but yeah, we don't agree. And if it, if that bothers you too much, you know, best of luck. I'm sure there's plenty of podcasts out there that won't do that. You can find those podcasts. I don't know what podcasts those would

be, but other podcasts I'm sure would have some funny moments and probably wouldn't, uh, trigger your, your moral relativism button. We got an email from, your your moral relativism button we got an email from uh this is great we got an email from from mick this is this is mick from down under sent us an email he says good day from sunny sydney motherfuckers and then he says i just want to let you know that we have clinkers in Australia too, except ours is a category of sexual fetish. Essentially, clinkers are like furries, except instead of dressing as animals, they dress like Colonel Clink from Hogan's Heroes.

The only rule is that when you come, you need to shout, Hogan! I love that shit. That shit is awesome. I've been doing that for years. I thought that was... I always go with the, I know nothing. I didn't know there That shit is awesome. I've been doing that for years. I thought that was – I always go with the I know nothing. I didn't know there was a tunnel here. How did you fit a radio in there?

Jesus. Who else has been used? Don't actually – don't answer that question. Don't answer that question. No. We got an email from Philip, and Philip says at the end of the Burn Spotify episode where we say non-creationists and non-fundamentalists do accept Revelation as being true. He said growing up basically in that non-creationist, non-fundamentalist sect, it was an Anglican parish. It was an Anglican parish. He said, at no time was I told that the earth was 6,000 years old or evolution is wrong. But we certainly did take Revelation to be a tad more than metaphorical.

And he says, what kind of fucking metaphor could that LSD trip be? I love the idea of that too. Yeah, that's – we got criticized for that Revelation episode from a couple of different angles. Yeah. And it's funny. No regrets. Yeah, it's funny because people are like, yeah, you're right. It's not just creationists that take that book seriously.

Lots of people take that book seriously. Sure. Like Catholics and other sects. I mean people – I think that it's a bigger number than the people who think that there was a fucking boat with all kinds of animals on it. I think it's a bigger number than that. Dude, I think so too and it occurred to me too that like if it was not accepted doctrine that this was a series of metaphysical truths but was in fact a historical document referencing some kind of ongoing conflict, it would just be removed. It would be right at some point they would have said like well this is not a relevant metaphysical document

it's not part of the canon anymore right so we're going to remove it but clearly there is an understanding that this book is supposed to have some kind of spiritual metaphysical relevance but it's just fuck it's still fucking jabberwocky. We got an email. We were talking back and forth with Tanner this week. Tanner works for secularprogramming.org. And Tanner let us know that Secular Programming is a production company with big plans for the secular and nonbelieving communities. And it just launched a blog network at secularprogramming.org. And if you go there, there's tons of blogs already on there.

I'm counting two, four, six, seven blogs already on there. So go ahead and check it out, secularprogramming.org. You can check out tons of sites. There's not only podcasts, I think, that are linked to this, but there's also other blogs. So it's going to be a nice big network. I think it's going to sort of rival Free Throat Blog. So go take a look at it if you get a chance. I think it's a great aggregator.

Or it will be. I think Tanner is doing good work. We got an email. I don't know that I can read this, Tom, because I'm not good at reading things that are not – well, I mean I just – I don't know that I can read this aloud. But'm not good at reading things that are not well i mean i just i don't know that i can read this aloud but good luck to you this is from this is from dave i am your only arsey listener i know because i roided my kangaroo 1322 kilometers to my next door neighbor's house and bill has never fucking heard of you too i come to cross you two talking when i got bitten on the arse while wrestling a croc and my arse swelled it up swelled it swelled it that's how it happens in australia they swelled

it does it does oh you just got my mail order 486 dx 66 and the interwebs had just arrived so i turned on my computes and looked up fat arsehole and i found you two ranting on about shit and don't get me wrong. I like what yous do. I just don't got one thing. Well, I don't get lots of things, but how come yous two were always talking about fucking each other's bums through a hole in a wall? I synced up the glory hole

on the Googles and that's what he told me yous was talking about. I used to's poofs. I don't cares if you is. My koala is My koala is a gaybosexual. Gaybosexual is the best word ever. It's like taibo, but it's slapping. It is, yeah, no.

Absolutely. It's a dangerous martial art. There's a lot of pelvic thrusting that goes on gaybosexual. And it don't bother me none. So if you two are banging each other's boys' bits, I don't give a shower of sheep shit. But I has to know. What the fuck? Maybe I'll find out more when I tune into a second episode.

Your biggest Aussie fan, Dave. Sent from my 486 DX66. That's awesome. I like that during that, you vacillated between an Aussie accent, your own voice, and a Scottish accent. I'll do what I want, sir. No, it sounded great. It sounded like I imagined Dave to sound. You sounded great.

What's just in red that's so crazy? I love this. This is good stuff. Gay-bosexual, yeah. Well, you know, glory hole doesn't have to mean fucking each other's bum, you know. You can be just slobbing a knob through the glory hole. You don't have to actually have intercourse. Actually, I think intercourse might be a little prohibitive because the plywood's in the way.

That would be – it's possible. I know. It's possible. I mean I think you need a – you know, you definitely need bigger equipment than what I've been assessed. Because you get like a three-quarter inch plywood going on. There's not much coming out the other end there. It's one of those zero-depth pools at that point. Yeah, no kidding. You need a

really big hole so they could fit a lot of something in there. There's just not enough. Plus the angle, because the belly's going to hit the wall first. Absolutely. Then you've got to kind of kick it. Yeah, that's not... I think what you do is you make a shelf in the glory hole. You put a little shelf there so the belly can go in and then your crotchular region

is right in there. Although I think that the shelf would be a safety hazard if my belly were on it. I'll tell you what. You're not installing it with drywall screws. Yeah. OSHA would definitely ask for a railing, I think. I think it would have to be lag bolted in. Yeah, lag bolted in.

Well, this email section took a lot longer than I thought it would to record it when I said 10 minutes, Tom. 10 and 30 are the same number. They're close. They're close. I'm going to try to wrap this up as fast as possible. So I don't know if I thanked John last week, but I want to thank John, Arthur, and Michael for all giving us their generous donations. We want

to thank you very much for the money that you sent. That's going to go a long way to helping keep the podcast running, paying for certain things like hosting and websites. So thank you very much for donating. And cheeseburgers. And large sweet teas. So thank you very much for

sending that money and we appreciate it. This week we did not have DJ Grothia. Next week we will not have him on either. DJ won't be on next week mainly because we're going to be having on Peter Boghazian. Peter Boghazian talked at TAM. He spoke at TAM. He had a great bit there that we saw and we really

enjoyed. He's going to come on and talk about his new book, A Manual for Creating Atheists, which is available on Amazon. We'll put a link on next week's show notes. But come back next week for Peter Boghazian and then hopefully DJ is going to be on sometime in November. We're going to try to get DJ back on. We hope everything works out with him and we're going to try

to get him back on so we can talk about the JREF. But next week, Peter Boghazian and we're going to leave you as always with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter. Mommy issue. Hypno Babylon.

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