Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 128: Somebody Dig Up Rosa Parks

Episode Date: December 9, 2013

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Prophet Muhammad wasn't divine He couldn't turn water to wine the fucker was sick cause he

popped out his dick and stuck it in Asia when she was nine glory hole something in reference to the comment that you guys made about boys developing a worm fetish.

They think about worms while masturbating. And I learned, actually, a couple months ago from a sexual behaviorist, I guess is what you would call him. But he deals in fetishes and that kind of stuff. but he deals in fetishes and that kind of stuff, and he said that you develop your sexual preferences and kinks and whatnot from the age of zero to nine. So if you're 15 or 16 and you're thinking about worms while you're masturbating, it probably might actually work to lower your libido, and it might help you

not want to touch yourself. But why would you want to do that? That's stupid. So, yeah, I thought you might find that little bit of information interesting, because I know I did. Okay, see you later, guys, or talk to you later, guys. Bye. I'm gonna let it shine.

Whoa, this glory hole of mine gives me dicks all the time. This glory hole of mine gives me big, great dicks for a good old time. A good old time. They're so divine. And they're all mine.

Yeah, put her in my butt, Jesus. Hello, this is Baphomet. I just wanted to let you know I'm really disappointed that you don't believe in me. Now, there's been a little bit of confusion here, and I want to clear it up. My particular role, whenever a young girl decides that she wants to preserve her virginity for God, and she instead decides to take it up the butt, that's me whispering that idea into her ear.

It's a messy job. There's a lot of cleanup. But I'm very real. Thanks, guys. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome at. This is episode 128. And I will probably still be coughing through most of this episode. That's awesome. Yeah, just something for you to do. Oh, yeah. I was bored. I figured last time it was so easy to edit out all the coughs.

Right. Maybe this time you could try to nearly die while you're recording it. You know, you're in luck, Cecil. You're recording it. You know, you're in luck, Cecil. You're in luck because as you well know, if I get a cough, it only lasts between three and six months.

Six months? I mean, look, as coughs go, it's better than, say, getting a plague of some sort. It's true. No, I mean, it's not consumption. It's just the joy of a dry hacking cough that lasts the better part of a year.

You know, so that's just something for you to keep in mind. Now, six months, that's going to be, let me do some quick math, about 24 shows worth of you editing out my coughing and hacking. It's funny because I was listening last week and I thought I got them all.

I snuck one in there. There's like two or three that got left in there. I'm like, well, there's some that are just when people talk and you do editing, sometimes you try to edit out the ums and they have what they call a tight um. A tight um is when I'm speaking and I say um so close

to what I was actually saying that I can't edit it out because if I edit it out, it sounds weird. It sounds choppy and weird. You have tight coughs. Yes. So you'll start talking and as you're talking, well, I can't do anything with that. That's just a cough and there's nothing I can do with it. And you'll do it when you laugh. If I try to cut it out at the beginning of your laugh, it's a coughing laugh. And it sounds weird. It sounds like you're like coming in from another room or something. Like running back in like, fuck you. Like diving forward. Right. That's awesome. Yeah. I just like to make sure because I don't,

you know, sometimes I feel like you don't do enough for this show no I know I get it so if I can make it worse yeah for you that's good your whole life is basically based around making it worse for other people like I just look at the people that that have been unfortunate enough to uh be in my life and I think if I can just make one day a little worse for this one you know you know it's like it's like those people who look around they're like think if I can just make one day a little worse for this one. It's like those people who look around and they're like, man, if I can save just one child. I'm just like, you know, if I can ruin

just one day, if I can make things just 10% harder all the time, you'll still think it's worth it to keep me around, but you'll curse me for existing. And that's how I know that I've done my job as a fucking awful human being and that is that some of the people who don't have enough to eat it's their fault they don't have enough to eat particularly with their

children and this this is where it really becomes dicey if you're if you're an alcoholic or a heroin addict addict or drug addict and you can hold a job you can't support your children and that's a circumstance of millions and millions people not most but a lot of substantial minority okay dennis is your fault you're bringing the havoc and then that you're asking people

who may have to be struggling themselves to put food on the table to give their tax money to you. And then you're not even going to buy food with it. You're going to buy booze and drugs with it because there's no government regulation about that. Well, speaking of awful human beings, let's go to our first story. This is from the Raw story. Holy fuck. Bill O'Reilly. This has been a week, by the way, for people just saying some of the most offensively obtuse, crazy shit.

Bill O'Reilly. Jesus is not, quote, down with poor food stamps because most poor people are drug addicts. He gets it. Fact. Yeah, fact. You know, when you watch this clip, like he's got this dude on and this dude's like, yeah, that's not fucking factually accurate.

Hey, you know, the thing you're supposed to be saying that's true is not a true. And Bill O'Reilly just like runs right over the top of him because that's what he does. He's just like, fucking you can't explain the tides.

And somebody's like, I have a ready action. You can't explain the tides. You know, he reminds me, it was like, imagine if you and I were You gotta explain the signs! You know what it reminds me of? It was like, imagine if you and I were having a conversation and I just took my headphones off and I just kept talking. You know, and you just respond and I let you respond. I'll give you the space for it.

And then I just continue saying exactly what I was just saying. You're just like, uh, that was something. So back to what I was saying before. Yeah. He like can unplug his like oral sensors. Like he's just like, yeah, I can just unplug those. I don't have to listen I was saying before. He can unplug his oral sensors. He's just like, yeah, I can just unplug those. I don't have to listen to anything you say. I see your mouth moving, and when it's done,

I just continue on with the point I just had. He's a verbal steamroller. It doesn't matter what's in his way at all. It makes no difference. It's like, fucking penny on the tracks, I'll be giving no fuck. Crunch right over that fucking thing can i read what he said you can read he says here um if you're an alcoholic or a heroin addict or a

drug addict and you can't hold a job all right and you can't support your children and that's and that's a circumstance of millions and millions of people. Not most, but a lot. A substantial minority. What the fuck? A substantial minority is millions and millions of people? Yeah, didn't you know that? It's millions and millions of people.

We have 360 million people in this country and millions and millions of them are poor drug addicts. We have such an epidemic of poverty and drug use in this country that we actually have untold millions, entire states, Cecil, are just filled with the drug addled poor. What? This is part of like, I was thinking about this story a little bit during the week and it really upsets me that the Republican Party,

I think is particularly guilty of this, that we like to tell this narrative of how bad things are in America, right? We like to gloss over all of the things that make living here really actually pretty fucking good. I'm not saying that there's not problems. There's a lot of problems. It's a big fucking country in the world in 2013, there's problems. But they're kind of always playing this back and forth, this sort of ping pong game where they're,

on the one hand, striking the flag at every opportunity and parading it around, um, you know, to, with, with this sort of nationalist pride. And on the other side, you know, they're portraying America as this place filled with, you know, uh, crime and violence and degenerates and, um, you know, massive drug and alcohol problems and children begging in the streets. And it's just not the case. The numbers don't bear out the stark portrayal that the conservatives, but they use that.

It's a card that they play. They pull that card out so they can say, we don't need to build a social safety net because these degenerates are the problem and it's their fault. And all the things that we don't need to build a social safety net because these degenerates are the problem, and it's their fault. And all the things that we don't like about America, we can lay at the feet of this low class, like this subhuman class of people. And it's not only untrue, but it's grossly unfair to the people that do need a safety net. You know, there's right now, I see a lot of figures that say that there's something like in the 40s, 40 million people on food stamps, something like that, in the 40s. These aren't people that are just out of work and need money, right?

These are not people who are just on the side of the road with a fucking Mickey's Big Mouth in a bag waiting for somebody to come by and give them something. That's not these people. These are working poor people. This is who they are. These aren't people who are going to work fucking high or addled up on fucking heroin. These are people who are just getting up in the morning and trying to make a living and trying to go to work. who are just getting up in the morning and trying to make a living and trying to go to work. And they need assistance because there's such a disparity here in this country between the minimum wage and a living wage. Because that's not a thing that we think people should have.

I was reading somewhere before the minimum wage, before we actually had a minimum wage that was somewhat, you know, in, it had a relation to reality in some way, that people could live off of it. You could actually live off the minimum wage and actually, you know, not, I mean, you're not going to be making a ton of money, but you're actually going to be able to survive. These people, when you need food assistance and you're still working, you're not able to survive. I mean, it's pretty fucking evident. And there's also this other poor shaming that goes on. And obviously this is, I mean, Bill O'Reilly is a huge, you know, shame the poor. So is Rush Limbaugh. So are all those guys on the far right that have never gone hungry. Look at your jolly face and tell me you've gone hungry a single day.

You've never gone hungry. You don't know what that's like. You don't know, you know, you're going to, you're going to sing a fucking goddamn sad story about how it was growing up with like six kids as a billionaire or whatever. Okay, great. Who gives a shit? But the fact is there's a lot of other poor shaming that goes on in this country. And I see it on my Facebook feed all the time where they talk about drug testing people on welfare. They're talking about if you get welfare, you should have to get a drug test. People on welfare, they're talking about if you get welfare, you should have to get a drug test.

And what you're basically saying is I don't want you to use the money that I give you for anything other than essentials for what you need to live. But what you're saying is that I get to decide how you spend your money, right? It's not that you have any autonomy whatsoever. Um, you just get to spend the money how I decide. So are they allowed to put gas in their car to go somewhere else other than say work? Is that a thing that they should be able to spend their money on? Should they, should they be able to buy clothes other than say like a fucking jumpsuit, right? Because you're just like, look, you should just have utilitarian clothing. You shouldn't have designer clothing, right? You shouldn't have any have any other and you know that's the other thing too people always get mad at the poor for um for making bad decisions when it comes to money we buy like a really expensive

cell phone or they buy like a piece of jewelry it's like well they're poor because they don't know how to use money yeah well you know what i mean like like it's not like that just because they're poor they should understand the ideas of frugality. They're poor because they don't understand the ideas of frugality. Well, I mean, and I read a very illuminating article about this, about that very same concept. And they brought up a couple of good points about the spending habits of people who are at or near poverty. And you're right. They're subject to all of this criticism. Why did you buy X instead of Y?

If I were in that position, I would have bought Y and you bought X. And I see X as a frivolous expense. Yeah, X is a luxury. Right. But what people who aren't in that position don't understand is the psychology of poverty. Right. The psychology of poverty is a real fucking thing. And there's a lot of things that play into it.

Sometimes it's to your advantage to have a few nice things to go to an interview with. Sometimes it's your advantage to not look poor. Sometimes it's your advantage to your advantage to. Sometimes it's your advantage to your advantage to not go to Goodwill for all of your clothes. Sometimes it's your advantage to be able to show up at an interview and have a nice watch on. Because the truth is people hire people

that look like them. People identify with people that look like them. You're more likely to get a job if you can speak the language the way I speak the language. If you will look the way that I look. That's just part of the hiring and firing game. It's not just that, Tom. Think about this.

How much self-esteem you have as a poor person. You have none. You have none. You're just like, I walk around in crappy clothes, crappy this, crappy that. It's like, well, this is my one chance to splurge on me to sort of show like I have some worth. Exactly. I have something that's worth rewarding. Yeah.

And I bought a thing. And it's like, you know, and that's, you know, there's so many other things. Like here's another thing, right? Should the poor be allowed to drink coffee? You know, you don't need coffee to survive. You don't need it every day. You can survive perfectly fine without coffee should they be allowed to drink it right should they be allowed to buy a

designer cup of coffee once in a while are they allowed to do that with the money that they get you know how much are we gonna fucking micromanage the poor on their own economic you know problems how much are we gonna go like dig in there be like, are we going to assign a fucking social worker for every single aspect of their lives where we've got to be like, no, you shouldn't spend your money on this or whatever? That's what you're doing with the drug thing, right? How bad is it

for a poor person to go out and buy a dime bag worth of weed and get high and try to forget that they're fucking poor for a little while? How bad is that for society? How awful is that? It's, you know, maybe it's an insubstantial amount of money. And the thing that also never works is the poor people are smart enough to realize that they got, they're going to get tested for these drugs.

So only like one or two people out of all the people that they get tested actually wind up having drugs in their system. Yeah, I know that there's other places where the results are different, but in some of these big, huge areas where they were testing the people for drugs, like one or two people out of like, you know, thousands and thousands of people, and they basically wasted all this money on drug tests. Yeah, and you're wasting all of that money. You're wasting all of that money that could have gone to help the poor.

Like that's money that could have gone for poverty, for anti-poverty initiatives. It's such a fucking slap in the face. Imagine if a law was being proposed that said, if you take the tax housing credit that's available, so if you take the housing credit, that's money the government's giving you. You're getting money off your taxes because you have a home,

so your interest is deductible. So if I take the deduction for my house, I have to be drug tested, and those results will be reported to my employer. Imagine that. Imagine if, because I'm taking money from the government in the form of a tax savings, I have to get drug tested and those results will be reported to my employer. Outrage. There would be an outrage. It would not work. I mean, there would be fucking blood running in the street, right?

Because the people who would be protesting have power. The people that are protesting have a voice. The people that are protesting have fucking money and jobs. Sure. As soon as you strip that away so like that works right that so that would never work because in order for me to have a house and in order for me to have to to use that uh tax uh incentive i have to have a job and i have to have a house which means i have to have some amount of income um but of course you know you you the same

initiative levied against poor people, levied against, it just seems like when people look at it, that's just good common sense. Because there's this myth that poor people use drugs more than rich people or middle-class people. And it's nonsense. It's crazy. It's just not a fucking true. Like you said, most people who are receiving government assistance, they work. They work one, sometimes two jobs. There's a huge conversation going on in this country right now about what a minimum wage means and how that has not kept pace with inflation. Now, the minimum wage, like you said, used to be a living wage.

Now, a living wage has nothing to do with the minimum wage. Like you said, it used to be a living wage, and now a living wage has nothing to do with the minimum wage. I mean, the minimum wage in this country is like $8? Eight and change? Can you imagine selling an hour of your life as a grown man for $8? It's a fucking insult. That is really, that's depressing as shit. That is absolutely depressing. That's depressing as shit.

That is absolutely depressing. And, you know, like the other thing too that you were saying, the poor people that are subject to these sort of drug tests are also subject to their drug tests at work, right? Because those are the people who are trying to screen. They're all thinking like this person may be on drugs. I remember when I was applying for certain jobs, I was drug tested when I was younger. When I applied for like my career jobs, I'm not drug tested. Yeah's a good point man I just got a job like do CFOs get drug tested do CEOs get drug tested do people that are executives get drug tested do people that are making you know you know yeah you're drug testing some people but you're not drug testing everybody

and it's not across the board so my opinion you know unless the I say you know if you're if you're not drug testing everybody and it's not across the board. So my opinion, you know, unless the, I say, you know, if you're, if you're handling some sort of, you know, big equipment. Yeah. I mean, I think he should probably be drug tested. I don't want a crane operator on goofballs. You know what I mean? I get that. But, but you know, if you're poor, you know, you're not a fucking crane operator. You're just operating your life. Right. You know, I just, I feel like, I feel like it's just another way to shame the poor and then, you know, you're not a fucking crane operator. You're just operating your life. You know, I just, I feel like, I feel like it's just another way to shame the poor.

And then, you know, Bill O'Reilly, of course, he's one of these guys that just loves to do that whenever he gets an opportunity. I love that he gets diffused by this guy. Did, did you see, by the way, in this article where he's talking about how he gives money to children's charities, but he gives it directly to the children? Yeah, I know. Like what? You're going to give it right to the kids? No, you don't.

There's no charity in the world that just is like, I'm gonna give it right to the kids no you don't there's no charity in the world that just is like i'm not giving it to mom and dad they'll just spend it on drugs i'm gonna give it to a six-year-old fucking i have a six-year-old he will spend it on candy and legos you know what i see i envision like like a sort of organization it's like four kids run by kids or something and it's just like like they're all like newsies they all like have like the little visors on and they're all like 10 years old and they're all trying to figure out their accounting books and they got big piles of cash from all these like wonderful donors in the background they're all just like and they would

fucking have no idea because they buy frisbees right i know they're like it wouldn't have any they'd be like oh it's transformer day they've got but i think it would be awesome to like film that and have it like have all the kids look real serious they've even got like the green banker's lamp yeah and they're like busy clacking away and clacking away and like smoking a fucking cigarette like a seven-year-old's mouth he's like all right we got enough money to buy the fucking Batman Lego set. We know. We know the candidate Barack Obama, what he was like. The anti-war government.

The America was a source for division around the world. So this story comes from The Guardian. Rick Santorum compares Obamacare to apartheid in clumsy mandela tribute gop figures displayed conflicting attitudes toward mandela's death basking in collective amnesia over the party's past views dear god this man oh i i am shocked that he gets paid to speak publicly gosh it's does he have a job anymore i don't know i mean i think maybe he just travels around being dou. Does he have a job anymore? I don't know. I mean, I think maybe he just travels around being douchey.

Is that a job? Oh, gosh. You know what's great is I have a plug-in for Google Chrome that's a dictionary that if you highlight somebody's word,

a word, it'll bring up the dictionary. Santorum is a sexual neologism. Neologism. I like that. Jism. Proposed by American humorist and sex advice columnist Dan Samage in 2003

to memorialize the then US Republican Senator Rick Santorum from Pennsylvania due to his controversy over his statements on homosexuality. There's more there but just so you know when you hover over his name it pops that up. What I love, and I don't

know that I have a lot to say about this, but there's a, I forget what show it was and someone had introduced it to me. A buddy of my name, James introduced this to me a long time ago. There's a clip from a show where this guy's talking about how, you know, this sort of thing is really unjust, this thing. And I don't even know what he's talking about. It's like a, it's like a drama show. Right. And it's talking about how unjust this certain thing is. And he sort of evokes Rosa Parks. Right. And he's a white guy and there's a black guy sitting across from him.

The black guy just kind of looks at him. He's like, no young white kid, rich white kid, I think is what he says, has ever gained any ground with me quoting Rosa Parks or comparing themselves to Rosa Parks. And I feel the exact same way here. Just like, comparing that to Nelson Mandela. You're not going to gain any ground with me here, Santorum.

Using Mandela's death as a way to sort of overthrow Obamacare in some way. Because it has nothing to do with it. No, man. I mean, it's this crazy connection drawing bullshit that they seem to love so much. It cracks me up, because I was thinking of the Rosa Parks thing myself when I saw this article. The GOP just needs to have a fucking hands-off list.

They really do, right? Where they just all get together and in one room they're like guys don't use these words you are not like these people you are not and it should say on it it should say like martin luther king jr rosa parks nelson mandela any black person at all because there's no black people in the gop anyway. So you may as well just say like, look, fucking black people in general are fucking off limits. Do not compare yourself. There's a couple in there. There's like seven.

Michael Steele's in there. Yeah, I know. There's like seven. I mean, come on. There's some crazy ones, too. There's some really good ones that are so much fun to talk about. Who's that Keys guy, right? Keys is awesome, man.

Oh, my God. That guy is fucking spectacular. Off the fucking train. good ones that are so much fun to talk about who's that keys guy right keys is awesome oh my god that guy is fucking spectacular fucking train well let me tell you what rick santorum actually said because it's so awesome like it's it's just so great mandela he told fox news within hours of the great man's death fucking body's not even cold i love that shit it's like the body's not even cold he's like digging out the heart. Right. He's like, what can I do to take advantage of this man's death? Is there any political traction? He's like fucking the corpse, you know? He's just like,

what can I do to Mandela? He's like raping it. I've been face fucking this corpse all afternoon for ideas. He's like giving a press conference while he's like poised over it, pumping it on stage. Just the deadest fucking Nelson,

95-year-old corpse on stage as he's fucking poised over it. He's just covered. He's like covered in fucking Santorum and blood. It's just... All the people in the audience are kind of like recoiling. As he's talking about Obamacare while he fucks the lifeless corpse of Mandela. And he looks around after the press conference like, I think that went well.

I think. I think that went well. I think that went well. I would have to check the poll numbers of my advisors, but I think that went pretty well. Guys, dig up Rosa Parks. Is there any traction to gain from Emmett Till? Can we get back to that? What else? Who else can I fucking just flog relentlessly?

Oh, God, I don't know how. I mean, I am a disturbed human being because I can envision that. That's so weird. He says, he told Fox, Mandela was fighting against some great injustice. I would make the argument that we have a great injustice going on right now in this country with an ever increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people's lives. And Obamacare is front and center in that. Oh, yes. Just like apartheid. Obamacare is just like apartheid.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. is just like apartheid. So Cecil, it's that time of year, according to Time, which is kind of awesome. Shiite Muslims around the world, they mark Ashura. Shiite Muslims from Lebanon to Afghanistan mark Ashura. It's a day of mourning. Celebration, Cecil.

Celebration. I just want to point that out. And remembrance. So evidently, when you celebrate, you celebrate by hitting yourself in the face with a sword. And the colors for this celebration are red. And white. Yes. Don't forget about the white.

Because you need a stark contrast for the red. This has some fucking images, man. That's something, isn't it? Four is the best. Four is my favorite. Let me find four real quick. Oh, yeah. Four is the fucking win. Four. Four is the best. Four is my favorite. Let me find four real quick. Oh yeah. Four is,

four is the fucking win. Definitely the best. And it's, it's my suspicion that four is where you're going to go. Um, when you click on this, I hope that's where you go, but if not try to find four,

I'm going to try to describe the scene. So you have a whole slew of people standing there with their, their, what look like machetes at this. I mean, I, I can't, I mean, either, either machetes or swords and they're standing there with all their, I mean, either it's fake and they're thrown some like pig blood on themselves or something like Carrie or something, or they've actually cut themselves open and they're bleeding on themselves, but they're covered in this red stuff that looks like blood i don't know if it's fake and they're just doing this as like uh you know like this is just a show sort of thing or if they're actually fucking cutting their heads open which you know i wouldn't put any past him but the best part of

this picture is the guy on the lower right hand side the weak sauce guy who hasn't cut his own head up yet who's kind of just like yeah i'm doing what you're doing he's basically just he looks like he's kind of just like gently touching the knife he's like tap a tap a tap like yeah no i'm doing what you guys are doing yeah i'm not covered in the gore yet but uh i will be don't worry yeah he looks like the sane one actually like if you look at the picture like the the primary dude front and center who is just drenched in a fucking bath of his own blood like he has an expression on his face like i love to eat my blood like he looks absolutely wild um and everybody else is just coated in their own blood there's like a

dude who's like an on the like just to the right of captain crazy like two dudes over with his eyes closed he looks like in some kind of like religious ecstasy either that or blood loss it's hard to tell blood loss sure um but yeah the dude in the corner is like uh my dad made me come here can we go home yeah this is not yeah what i took a wrong turn at fucking albuquerque like this is not a good i don't put the cutting of themselves past them but the way it looks when i look at them doesn't look real because one blood doesn't look like that after a while right blood turns brown after it's been dried and don't ask me how i know that and then uh so i don't know that and it also is it's just like it almost feels like that color doesn't, it's not, that's not what blood would look like.

Like, especially on some of these people, because it looks like it's kind of like, like, it looks like it was smeared on them and then it ran down. Yeah, I don't know, man. You know what I'm saying? It's, I mean, because if you look at these pictures, and I remember, and you read through the article, like, this is like, and the one that kills me is three. read through the article like this is like and the one that kills me is three um afghan shia boys hold hands as they run to attend the ashura ceremony let's go and they're carrying like a fucking flail a flail it's like a stick with chains and knives attached to it so like the problem is they're encouraging kids like i don't really give a shit if a bunch of grown-ass men want to fucking flagellate themselves in the public square in order to show that like they love allah more than the next guy

loves allah more than the next guy loves allah yeah good i love allah so much i'll cut my fucking head i love allah so much i'll cut my testicles off like i love allah like fucking whatever dude you guys fucking love some allah it's it fucking crazy, though. But to indoctrinate your kids? I can't imagine being like, all right, son, it's fucking celebrate some religious custom day. So do you have your knives on a stick? Oh, yeah, dad. I got my knives on a stick for fucking knives on a stick day. Let me dig them out.

Hang on a second. I'm fucking dirt poor, but I've got my beating myself with knives stick. Oh, good. That's what we need. That's how you know that your religion is helping. That's how you know your life is

better as a result of your religious convictions. When your children beat themselves with knives. I do like that somebody had the forethought to try to convince them instead of doing this, why don't we hold a blood drive? Right? And I was like, that's a good idea. You know, like that is putting people's religious zealotry in the right place, right? I mean, there's no harm

that can be had from your blood drive. Go out and do it, you know? Go out and, I mean, you gotta imagine that somebody's gonna be spending the day stitching some of these people up. Right. One or two of them are gonna get a little over fucking zealous. I mean, they are zealous. That's kind of the nature of zealotry, right? That's kind of the nature,

right? So they're gonna fucking probably whack themselves a little too hard on the face with a cleaver. And then they're going to have to get stitched up. Well, you know, in this case, it might not be necessary if you do that with, you know, I mean, there's no harm that can happen. And you're actually helping other people when you do a blood drive. I actually think that's a smart way to handle this. Yeah, if you have to bleed for your God. Yeah.

Bleed into a bag. I just can't get over it. Every time I look at this, it looks like that scene from Blade when he comes in and they're like all sitting there getting the fucking pig blood or whatever jumped on him. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black coat. Long black coat. So Cecil, this story comes from TheExaminer.com.

Egyptian fatwa. Women who swim in the ocean are guilty of adultery. And of course we know that the penalty for adultery in some countries is being stoned to death. So if you go in the ocean, they can fucking chuck rocks at you till you die. This article, what the fuck? Fatwas evidently, it's just like the clerics, Cecil. Anybody can issue a fatwa as long as you're a cleric, I think.

And anybody can be a cleric as long as you're male and alive and Muslim. Because there's like a million fucking clerics. There's so many clerics. There's clerics as far as the fucking eye can see. Clerics are fucking more dense than the particulate matter in Shanghai in some areas. It's fucking that full of clerics. But this article had actually some really great fatwas, Cec we should talk about yeah really quickly and let's talk about some of these spots was in a second but i just want to say don't scroll too far down um there's like like i don't know why no one would like these but it says

you may like because we're talking about like fatwas and like fucking awful shit that happens to people. Update on Bubbles, the Mastiff with a massive tumor. And the fucking tumor on this goddamn dog is the size of its head. And then they show Afghan president beating wives is the law of all Muslims and Afghans. And they show this poor woman that's clearly been burned in an acid attack. It's like, oh, I don't think I'd like

either of those stories, thanks. I don't know anybody who's like, oh man, I really would like that. Yeah, that's great. I like that a lot. The fatwas here are really good. This one here says women are ordered to turn off all air conditioners at home in the absence of their husbands, as this could indicate to a neighbor that the woman is at home alone and any of them could commit adultery with her like what yeah when i whenever i'm away from my wife at any moment there's a chance she could commit adultery she could just be on the fucking l right driving the l and be like anybody want to commit adultery she just like has a sign she walks around with a sandwich board on. Just adultery here. I got adultery here.

Want to commit adultery? Ask about details. You know, like if you're that worried about adultery that you think the ocean is an adulterer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, well. The ocean. Look, I came in the ocean once.

Yeah, right. So that's why. Well, didn't Snooki once. That's why it's salty. Didn't Snooki once say all the salt comes from whale sperm? Yeah. Yeah, so I guess you could get. That's where merma salty. Didn't Snooki once say all the salt comes from whale sperm? Yeah. So I guess you could get... That's where mermaids come from, actually.

That's where mermaids... Mermaids are real. I should include mermaids in the skeptics' creed. Yeah. When we talked about... Just replace giant worms. I don't know. I like the giant worms.

I like saying giant worms. Take off the dolphins. Put in mermaids instead of dolphins. I don't know. I like the giant worms. I like saying giant worms. Take off the dolphins. Put in mermaids instead of dolphins. Then you get less. I would probably get less shit about it. You would get less shit about it. I got to tell you, if I live in the Middle East and I have to stay home all day without fucking air conditioning, I may as well just set myself on fire.

I may as well wake up and be like, okay, well, have a great day at work. That's the crazy... Immolate yourself? I just... Why would you even bother to... It would be a miserable, awful existence. I'm just going to sit in the house alone

with no air conditioning, just pretty much baking. I'm going to bake my... I'm going to fucking... Your house is an easy bake oven at that point oh what an awful thing i mean you have to put somebody through that that's clearly you know what that's for is to punish women for being women oh yeah that's what all these are not only can you not not only do you have no autonomy to go out to the fucking to like

the the store by yourself in some of these countries. You can't travel on your own in some of these countries. You can't drive a car if you're a woman. And this is all for just being a woman. I'm not saying you can't travel if you're a dude. You can't travel if you're a woman. You always have to be in the company of men, etc.

And it's like, well, this is just another reason to punish someone because they have a vagina. You're just like, oh, well, you're at home because you can't work, obviously, because women can't work and do things. Okay, well, just enjoy being miserable. Yeah, more miserable. And these girls, Cecil, might be as young as 10 because one of these font was is upon reaching the age of 10, girls should be married to prevent them from deviating from the right path.

So evidently the right path is fucking a fifth grader. Yeah, well, yeah, that's the right path. So evidently the right path is fucking a fifth grader. Yeah. That's the right path. The right path is a 10-year-old girl. You don't want to know what the left path is. Yeah, that's the... Jeez. You wouldn't want to do anything immoral.

No. Oh, goodness, no. That would be terrible. This one here, a marriage should be annulled if a married couple engages in sexual congress without any clothes on and i think to myself i'm like like the woman is like that hajib or whatever and like a dude in

like a full like robe trying to get at it is like taking two turkeys in oven bags and banging them together you know what i mean like you're just like wailing on just like i mean could you imagine the friction that would happen oh when she's in one of those things and you're in fully clothed practically too? I'm just thinking of the laundry situation you've got to deal with. Yeah, you're stuck together at the end of it. It's like it's hot and the house hasn't cooled down yet because the air conditioner's been off all day. Everybody's brewing up a funk inside their fucking Ziploc bag they have to live in. You're fucking covered in body hair and have to live in. You know, you're fucking covered

in body hair and fucking hijab juice. It's disgusting. Hijab juice? Like, okay, so we can't take off all our clothes. Fine. So we'll leave our socks on. Like, it's the letter of the law, not the spirit of the law

that matters. So we're going to take a short break and then come back with the rest of the show. So, I don't know, I didn't think you were going to leave anyway, but I'll tell you to stick around. Want to get in touch with the show? Send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com.

Be sure to follow the show on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is at dissonance underscore pod. Like the podcast page on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash dissonance pod, or just type cognitive dissonance into the Facebook search bar. Want your voice featured on our show? Leave a short message on our Google voice, 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828.

Visit dissonancepod.com to see the news stories featured in the show, buy apps and merchandise, or just leave a comment. And to everyone who helps spread the word about the show by sharing it, tweeting it, and rating it on iTunes, glory hole. You fucking rock. So this story comes from the Raw story. Video mashup shows Republicans citing the Bible to oppose climate change action. I thought they made some compelling arguments. Oh, God. Cecil. This is why.

These people run our government. What? What? I mean, what the fuck? Like, these people are like, like, you're citing a 2,000-year-old book, 2,000-plus, right, year-old book, on whether or not the fucking climate is changing? Before these people even knew, like, fucking, before, when the wheel was the height of technology. Right. Right. They're just like, oh, yeah, fucking, there's no climate change.

Fucking God provides, and we fucking take. That's all there is to it well what the fuck you know things change after a while yeah when they're unaware of like arctic sea ice because you're unaware of the existence of the arctic right you know i mean that's really um like you have nothing to say like there's nothing to contribute to the world in 2013. There's just nothing. There's nothing in that book that contributes to the world at this point, scientifically speaking. There's nothing, and I think otherwise, but still, there's nothing. What are you going to pull out of that book?

What are you going to grab that book and be like, oh, well, we were going to consider fixing some of these issues that we've got and really kind of taking a hard look at how we use energy and what the results of the energy usage are. But there's a book written by a bunch of fucking itinerant goat herds from the Middle East 2,000 years ago. We really got to pop that one out first and make sure nothing we do contradicts that fucking bullshit set of myths. You know, when you look at this and then you follow what's going on in Shanghai right now. Like, I mean, see, so we talked about this. You've seen the images right now in Shanghai. Is that an image that you see?

It's purported to be. It just looks like a fuzzing. Looks like, it looks like, I mean, it really looks like you're looking on the inside of a fireplace is what it looks like a fuzzing looks like it looks like i mean it really looks like you're looking on the inside of a fireplace is what it looks like there's nothing that the person's i saw a picture somebody said i just took a picture of a building a quarter mile away and all i could see was one portion of it was a little blacker than the rest of it when when you walk outside and it looks like you're on channel one of your television, like it's just static, you know you have fucked up your environment.

Like this is, it is unlivable. It is an unsustainable. And how do you do that to the air? To the air, man. And then you're going to look at that. At the same time, you'd be like, yeah, everything's hunky dory because this old book here says it is. Well, that's what you know. Look, it's fine. This is going to be fine. And this is the this is the fucking massive danger of taking that book literally. Right. Like this is the massive danger is that people who take that book literally can get in power and then use that to navigate their decisions on whether or not they're going to pass laws.

And whether or not, I mean, some of these people are on committees. Committees that actually make huge decisions based on this. You know, we get a bunch of email. We got some comments about the Revelations episode. We got a bunch of comments because we just, oh, it's fucking a groan-worthy straw man, someone was saying about it. it's fucking a grown worthy straw man. Someone was saying about it. Like, you know,

look, if people take the idea of revelations 100% seriously, they think before the end times, a star will be on the planet, that there was a star that is going to come down from heaven and it's going to hit the earth. If a star hits the earth, it is the end of the earth because a star necessarily

is going to be much larger and much fucking hotter than the earth there's no danger of stars hitting us anytime for the next four and a half billion years so the idea is you know if these people think this

about the revelations and they think it's a real thing they clearly have no idea about scientific anything. They don't know anything about science whatsoever. So you can immediately rule out anything they say about the real world if they think this is a 100% literal document. You know, and I do believe this. We need to make it harder for people to be elected in this country. We need to make it a lot harder. There needs to be educational prerequisites.

It just has to be. This idea that you'll elect some dipshit everyman to be your representative was a great idea when most people were farmers. That was a great idea 200 most people were farmers. That was a great idea 200 years ago. Fine, yeah. We want an everyman to be elected into office. It's mostly an agricultural society. It doesn't really matter too much. You can speak to agricultural issues.

You can do that knowledgeably. The world is vastly more complex now. There needs to be basic educational prerequisites. And one of those needs to be, at the very least, a bachelor's degree. I mean, the very fucking least, Cecil. A bachelor's degree in a hard science. You can be a lawyer, too. But you need to have a bachelor's in a hard science

in order for you to be elected to office in this country. And I'm talking, you know, House, Senate, President, any governor. You cannot make reasonable decisions if you don't at least respect the basic precepts of scientific methodology. You just don't get it. Like, you're not allowed. That would go such a long way toward curbing this sort of rampant dipshittery. Dipshittery. Lucifer ran this world. Yeah, that's exactly correct.

And that is what they're seeking to bring back in the last days. That is the world government. That is the last beast. That is the last beast. That is the fourth beast that is coming. It is a resurrection of the pre-flood Luciferian government. This story comes from Americans Against the Tea Party, aattpp.org.com slash biz. Oklahoma Satanists want to donate.

That might not be the actual web address. That's not it. That's not it. I'm telling the people right now That's not true Oklahoma Satanists want to donate monument next to state 10 commandments display in addition to performing the post-mortem homosexual transformation

of Fred Phelps' mom which was hilarious and which we covered some time back the Satanic Temple is now offering to donate a monument to Satanism for display on state grounds in a big fucking fuck you and testicle drop against these idiots who are constantly saying like, well, we got to, as long as we're fair, we put something up for everybody, Cecil.

That's awesome, man. That's exactly it. That's why that woman in Florida, I think it was, sent the Wiccan books to her school, you know, when they're doing the prayers and shit. And it's like, well, here's some Wiccan books you can read. Oh, we're not going to read the Wiccan books. Yeah, well, you know, here's your problem. Same thing goes with religion.

When you're doing your monuments to the Ten Commandments, well, where is your Satanist display? Oh, we're not going to do the Satanist display. Oh, well, then you're really not looking for religion. You're looking for a religion. And we can't be, we can't choose preference of religion. So if it's going to be a religious country, it's got to be a religious country in the sense that every religion has an equal footing. And that's not something that I think the people that are pushing for religion in all of these spheres of government really, really want. They don't want that.

They want a preferred religion, and even if you gave it to them, it wouldn't be enough because these people would, you know, the Catholics would be fighting with the Protestants and the Protestants would be fighting amongst themselves over which sect of Protestantism. And, you know, eventually you just have to have all the displays like that. just cover every fucking square inch of the state grounds with some fucking random symbol of of whichever sect of christianity or judaism or hinduism or satanism or wiccanism or whatever the fuck right you know it would just be it would become farcical you know the thing is like yeah the freedom this the whole idea of separating church and state, it just protects everybody. It doesn't protect the atheists more than it protects the Christians. It protects them as much as us. Actually, it doesn't protect me really at all because I don't give a shit.

You know what I mean? I'll be fucking a million. I'll be honest, 100% honest. I don't care. I really don't care if there's a Ten Commandments somewhere. I do not care one bit. I don't care. And, you know, Tom,. It's, I do not care one bit. I don't care. And you know,

Tom, you and I, I think we differ on this. I don't care if there's like a Christmas tree and they say, Merry Christmas at a fucking, uh, at like a city hall or something. And I know you and I differ in this,

but I don't care. Like, I'm like, you know, it is Christmas. So who cares whether or not somebody said Christmas, you know what I mean? It's not like we should fucking hang them high because they said the word Christmas.

I don't care about these things. The people who do care are the people who celebrate different holidays. You know, those people who are, you know, celebrating Hanukkah or something like that are not being represented. They're being neglected. I'm going to celebrate Christmas, but it's not a Christmas to me. It's not a Christ mass. That's not something I'm not interested in celebrating Christ, but I am celebrating the holiday. I have the day off. I'm probably going to give some gifts. I'm probably going to eat a fucking turkey. I'm

going to fucking listen to a carol and I'm going to do all the things that those people do. and listen to a carol and I'm going to do all the things that those people do. So it's for me, it's, it's not an alien thing. It's not a, it's not, I don't, I don't shun it. I don't look at it like it's some sort of stinky turd that I got to stay away from. I just think, okay, well, I'm going to be doing it too. Who cares? I feel like it's, it's so different if you are part of a religious community, if they were to be celebrating Ramadan or something in the, in the, uh, in the city hall, I would have also no fucking problem with it whatsoever. Be like, okay, whatever they're celebrating Ramadan, who cares? But I'll tell you what, the Christians would have their fucking undies in a bunch over it. Yeah, they would. They'd be freaking out,

you know, and we do disagree on this. Like, I mean, I guess like, I don't care about Merry Christmas or Christmas trees, but you know but nativity sets and things like that, that to me are like, they don't have a secular value. They just have an explicitly religious value. But I come at it from the same direction. It's just, I feel like when you do that, you're clearly citing a preference when you do that. You're clearly citing a religious preference when you do that. You're clearly citing a religious preference when you do that

and saying big fucking thumbs down to everybody else who gets to walk by and be like, where's my Ramadan display? Fuck you, no Ramadan. Here's baby Jesus. I actually would go a step further. I think those people are somehow committing adultery

and that's as bad as swimming in the ocean. And so we should stone them to death. I'm not sure if all those parts connect, but I'm going to make them connect. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers! I want the

truth! You can't handle the truth! Well see, so this story comes from Right Wing Watch because it wouldn't be an episode of Cognitive Dissonance if we didn't go to Right Wing Watch. Renew America. Gay marriage is a satanic plot to murder Christians. What? that gay marriage is a push by Satan himself to outlaw Christianity and ensure that Christians here in America will be in danger of state-sanctioned murder for their beliefs. I think we're pretty close to that.

That strikes me as we're right on the cusp, I think, of state-sanctioned murder against Christians. It seems like it's just if you know the Bible, then you know Christianity is destined to be outlawed. We are moving steadily toward a time when Christians here in America will be in danger of state sanctioned murder. And I keep thinking to myself, there's a

sort of stark difference between something being outlawed and something being allowed, you know, you're allowed to kill someone for it. No, they're the same thing. Look, Cecil, let know, you're allowed to kill someone. No, they're the same thing. Look, Cecil, let's think of some things that are, that are illegal and we'll both be able to agree that you can kill people for it. Okay. Sure.

Jaywalking. Jaywalking. That is illegal. And if you spy a jaywalker, you can actually snipe them from the roof of a grocery store. That's. Oh, is it grocery store? Yeah, it is. It's very specific.

You'd be surprised. These are very very specific it's one of those you can't blow a horse on wednesday exactly like no spitting on the sidewalk in chicago you know like one of those things like you can't yeah yeah like chew bubble gum and read a baseball card in oklahoma or something like that right it's yeah so i mean you can clearly that's outlawed. You can't do that. Right. You know, if you drink before the age of 21, the state will actually show up and sit you in a corner and make you drink the whole fucking bottle.

Make you drink the whole thing. You will not, you will not leave until you finish it. And it's funny because the state, like when the state actually shows up at your house, it can be confusing for the other people in the state because they're like, Hey, how does the state move like that to go to Jim's house? And they're like, wait, I'm busy sanctioning something. The whole state has to move in unison to your house. Collapses in upon itself. Right. Yeah. What the fuck? This person is fucking nuts. This whole thing collapses it upon itself let me read just a couple of things here um it says while we certainly have human enemies aligned

against us our true enemies are satan wait enemies are satan yes yeah his oh yeah because enemies hit our satan comma his demons and spiritual wickedness of those in places of great power. As Christians, we have read the end times prophecies and we know the warnings Jesus gave us about how awful things will be in the last days. Satan is working feverishly to fulfill, pardon me, Satan is working feverishly

to fully cement his terrible earthly rule and bring those hellish days to fruition. And it's true, you know, that demons are, you know, there's homosexual demons out there. There's a lesbian demon called Lucifinger. I don't know if you've ever heard of her. But she's the lesbian

demon and you gotta, you know, you just gotta watch it. You just gotta watch it. I think she hangs out with the Quiznos eating demon all the time i thought she was into me i love her hair here's another one too i like this too it just she she starts out a paragraph yes this is a steady uphill battle and the first thing i thought is no it's actually a slippery slope that's right you miss these you miss you misconstrue uh but they you know this this woman um the fuck she's she's yammering about this uh the godless communist cecil yeah she's got issue with the godless communist or fascists or fascists if you prefer if you prefer so you get to prefer time which do you prefer um i'm gonna take the godless fascists for? I'm going to take the godless fascists

for $500. Godless fascists is good. You're kind of doing a little combo there. I don't know if that's actually legal. I'm just going with straight up communists. My money's on the communists this year. We definitely need to make sure to just conflate those two

as often as possible. What about the Nazis? Where are those in there? They're part of the fascists. Are they part of the fascists? They're like a subsect? They're like... They're actually fascicommists.

Fascicommists? It's a new thing their kids are doing these days. I love that they get squashed together. Just gloom. It's communists and fascists. They have everything to do with one another.

Fascicommunism. Comifashionism? Here's a good one. This causes many people to fear standing in opposition to militant homosexuals' agenda and its activists. Because of their track record for hostility, even violence towards those who oppose them, many conservative groups and churches fear the vicious vitriol of homosexuals and their supporters in our twisted culture. And that's really a shame. Fear is a debilitating force

if we give it sway over us. And I thought to myself, she's absolutely right. Have you heard of all those cases of straight bashing, Tom? Oh yeah, I mean, they're real. They're straight bashers. They just go all over and they just beat up straight couples constantly. Yeah, they're a real problem nowhere. I mean, if you were to take a flight

out of the country circle around and land nowhere yeah then that's possibly maybe a thing it's the worst place for being a straight in the country is the no no it's terrible there it's terrible as a straight man you can't you have no no rights whatsoever as a straight person. Imagine being a Christian straight person in a country like America. How would you possibly get by knowing that all of your presidents have all been Christian and almost every single one of your legislators and governors and mayors and city council people are also Christian? How are you going to be fairly represented? It's just impossible. It's a steep uphill battle. It is.

It is. You got to fight it. You got to wear your armor. She does mention wearing armor too. Are you seriously pulling out violence on this one? They're pulling out the violence card on this? I mean, for real, you're saying like, you're saying, look,

because of the militant homosexual agenda and their activists and held their open hostility and violence, when people are getting gay bashed to death in the country, when people die from their bashing damage, these people are getting beaten to death. Yeah, show me this angry, militant, violent, homosexual agenda. Where does it exist? It exists only in the minds of these fucking lunatards that are constantly mumble-fucking their way on the radio, trying desperately to string one point together into a coherent sentence. It's unbelievable to listen to this shit. And, again, it's just like,

and again, it's demonizing because they're comparing demons and they're saying demons are behind this. Don't impugn my bad name. They're basically putting demons behind all of this other stuff. So they're making, they're just poisoning the well.

They just keep doing it over and over and over again. They make sure that there's no way you as a person who would believe in demons would be able to stand with the homosexuals. There's no way you can do it. We got a lot of mail this time, but I want to start out by thanking, is it

Stephan? I guess it's Stephan. I'm going to say Stephan. Some people say Stephen, right? Yeah, I would read that as Stephan, but I would probably read it wrong. Yeah, Stephan, Matthew, Nicholas, and Gene, thank you for your generous donations. Your donations go a long way to making sure the show happens, and we really

appreciate it. There was quite a bit of money we got this week, so we want to thank you guys for donating to the show. Yeah, we really do appreciate it. Thank you. Every bit helps. Yeah, and we got a message from, I think this was from Matthew. He said, I heard you were in need of some bills for the website from one web developer to another, and we want to thank you. Yeah, you know, the website costs us money, so does the hosting, and it's great that people send the money

along, so thank you very much. I just want to mention this week that we got a tweet at us from Lee, and Lee sent us the Quiznos eating demon who's sitting at Quiznos, poor guy, still waiting for the invitation from Michelle, so eagerly awaiting. You know, did they kick him out at night,

Tom? I wonder if they just, like, make him go away. Yeah, well, I mean, he is a demon, so I think it's like that time that coyote wandered into the Quiznos do you remember that? let the door open and hope he left just like crawled into the cooler case it's like when a demon like you know

you just give him unlimited sandwiches and he's like the Quiznos mascot right remember that one mascot it wasn't that far off well I don't i don't oh my god they had this commercial with like this fucking deranged puppet thing it was oh yeah yeah i remember those yeah those are yeah well you know quiznos hey quiznos if you do use the quiznos eating demon we get a royalty or tom gets a royalty because he's on it up so we got a bunch

of email this week tom and a bunch of comments etc about the lds uh church being psychotic about masturbation and emily had a had something to say about that she said yes the lds church is really is that psychotic about masturbation here's an infamous article written to young men in the church and tom you said you read this before um i have i have actually read this before I don't remember where I stumbled across this thing it certainly wasn't looking for ways to stop masturbating I'll tell you that much looking for ways

it is the only thing that the only way by the way that this could stop you from masturbating is if you actually read the whole fucking thing because it's long as shit puts you to sleep it's to young men only as shit. Puts you to sleep. It's to young men only, as if young ladies are going to be like, oh, well,

so I just get to masturbate? Young ladies don't masturbate. No, I forgot. I forgot. Women don't masturbate. That's ridiculous. They just acquiesce to sex. They get forced into it. It's just their wifely duty. It's just like making a casserole

nobody wants to make one but sometimes you're just like fuck it I just have to make a casserole it's fucking Wednesday night what are you going to do we got an email from Josh and Josh said that he says Noam Chomsky is surprisingly accessible

I don't know if your style of humor would resonate with him too well probably not but it would probably not be too well. Probably not. And he says, but it would probably not be too difficult to get him for an interview. That would be awesome, but I just don't know I have anything to say to Noam Chomsky. I mean, the guy's like fucking, he's like a fucking,

it's like me talking to like a supercomputer. Like I would just be like, I have nothing to say to you. You're a real smart guy and everything I say is going to sound like an idiot. I'm just going to be a fucking total dope and I'm not going to make any sense and you're going to think this was an epic waste of your time. It reminds me, Cecil, of a thousand years ago

I had an opportunity to have dinner with Derrida and some other people. It was a thing at the University of Chicago that a friend of mine was going there at the time and he had gotten a ticket to this thing a friend of mine was going there at the time. And he had gotten a ticket to this thing and Derrida was going to be there. And he asked me if I wanted to go. And I was going to go.

I had every intention. I'm like, that sounds really exciting. I was going to go. And then I realized I had nothing to say. Like nothing other than, I like your books. Yeah, right. What are you going to do? I don't want a fanboy. I couldn't even say that to him. I'd be like, I didn't understand your books yeah right you know like what are you going to do I don't want a fanboy

I'd be like I didn't understand your books that would be the best I could say to the guy I'm vaguely aware of your name I read Derrida for Dummies and kind of got it that would be the best I could say to the guy it would be awesome to pull Derrida for Dummies out and be like I have some questions have you read this

that would be hilarious Noam Chomsky for Dummies would be funny to talk to Noam Chomsky. Be like, Noam, on page 44 of Noam Chomsky for dummies, it says... That would be pretty fantastic. Like, the idiot's guide to Noam Chomsky. And just before you bring it, just have it

strike out where it says Noam Chomsky and just write you. And that's the thing. I would have nothing to say in his field, in his actual field, right? And all the stuff that he does in the periphery. Right. All the stuff that he handles and covers because he he obviously does other things. So it's not just, you know, language. It's also other things that he's, you know, clearly anti-war and all those other things, because he's kind of like they define him as a libertarian, but it's like a different type of libertarian. I forget what it is. They define him as a libertarian, but it's like a different type of libertarian. I forget what it is. Anyway, in any case, libertarian socialism is what they call it. I would have nothing to say to the guy.

He would be awesome to talk to, but it would really just be him talking. Yeah, that's a guy that I want to spend my time listening. My goodness. Being on the show would probably just not work. Yeah. You know. My goodness. Being on the show would probably just not work. Yeah. But he did send, Josh, you did send two articles for 9-11 Truth stuff

from Matt Taibbi and I want to, I started to read one and it was very good so I'm going to read these and we may talk about them at a later date but they're very good

so thank you, Josh, for sending those along. Tom, we got an email about the Second Amendment from Jefferson. We did.

He says, you guys poked fun in your last episode and previous episodes at that person who believed that the Founding Fathers wanted us to have F-16s. Even though this guy is a clear dumbass, he's actually telling the truth. All our amendments have a purpose and rationale behind them, and none of our rights are there

because the Founding Fathers sat in a circle smoking weed and thinking, yeah, that's some cool shit. That is the thing that pisses me off so much about the Libertarian Party. While our founding fathers are carefully calculating which rights men should have, Libertarians just want rights for the sake of having them.

Anyway, back on topic. The point of the Second Amendment was so that people could easily overtake the government if needed. None of this shit about protecting yourself from coyotes, Mexicans, and rapists. Mexicans? God. Thomas Jefferson argued that people should stay just as well coyotes, Mexicans, and rapists. Mexicans? God. Thomas Jefferson argued that people should stay just as well-armed as the government,

and generally the other founders agreed with him. This means that the Second Amendment ensures our right not only to guns and F-16s, we have a constitutional right to nuclear submarines, flamethrowers, and Reaper drones. What people have to remember is that the Founding Fathers aren't gods, and the Constitution isn't the Bible. The Founding Fathers had no way of knowing that weapons technology would evolve beyond a musket, and regardless, we have to realize that it is okay to disagree with the Founding Fathers.

I'm pretty authoritative politically and anti-human rights, so naturally I disagree with half of the Bill of Rights, but that's just me. Happy anti-Bill of Rights. Anti-human rights? What does that even mean? Happy Kwanahana Christomachimus or whatever.

And may your stockings be filled with the stankiest, vilest, cum-glazed glory holes. You guys rock. Well, I'm getting myself an F-16. Yeah. It's all arms. I'm getting like 11 F-16s. Because I'll crash the first 10 of them.

Yeah, just trying to learn, right? You just got to learn. It's a steep learning curve. There's a curve. Yeah, for sure. You got to put the sticker on the back of your F-16 that says, Student Driver, please be patient. Doofus on board.

Yeah, right? Can you fit a car seat in one of those things? Totally, you can, yeah. The ejector seat is awesome for this. I want to say that while I think that you're almost certainly making sense here when it comes to the Second Amendment basically allowing us to overthrow the government, yeah, I think that they just didn't envision that sort of thing when it come right down to it.

We have gotten such a large military and such a strong military when it comes to like nuclear weapons and advanced technology weapons that it's impossible for a government to get over our government to get overthrown purely with force. You have to do something like uh like tom mentioned earlier like you have to have a coup or you have to have a uh some sort of uprising where another country comes in and helps you because there's no way for us to physically go after uh you know our government and in that sense i think it's smart to to limit things that people can have because uh one you're never going to be as trained

as the government if you have a fucking rocket launcher and you're fucking hanging over your bed, etc. Or an F-16 in the driveway. You're never going to be as trained as the government. And you're also never going to have as many. I don't care how many millionaires buy F-16s. One, they're not going to be pilots because they're not trained every day.

And two, there's just not going to be enough of them to do anything. They let out a squadron of F-16s and one F-16. I'm sorry. That other, you know, the fucking lone F-16, the rebel F-16, if you will, is not going to be around very long. So, you know, even just owning these things is not a guarantee of being able to overthrow the government because they are trained. They have, I mean, they have professional warriors. They have professional soldiers. That's what they do. So we have grown a military in this country that is so strong that it's impossible for us as people to stand up against them. So

I think that it's perfectly fine to limit us on, you know, on the second amendment in that case. We have to, can you imagine if people like regular people could be like, yeah, well, there's, since there's no limits, I want, you know, fucking weaponized smallpox. Sure. Because I'm just some dude and maybe I'm some dude. Like, let's think about some of the some dudes that live in this country. Like we've had some, some dudes that like shoot 20 some kids. Like we've had some dudes who just fucking shoot up a theater full of people watching batman or blow up abortion clinics right or you know there's other things that they do too that the oklahoma city bomb right can you imagine some dude right we're like this country is full of

some dudes and those imagine the oklahoma could you imagine the oklahoma city body with a dirty bomb instead right so it's not only does it have the initial damage of blowing up half a building and killing all these people but then it also has the the added effect of basically rendering you know a square mile of an entire downtown area fucking unusable yeah to just like chernobyl an area just be like yeah that's just full of evil now you know i mean there's there's obviously nobody could have predicted you know the weapons of incredible mass destruction that are available to governments now nobody could have possibly known you know i mean this was and it's not their fault that they wrote a law that says we should be

able to overthrow the government it's just not a practicality um those mill those like michigan militia idiots and like all those guys who are like holed up in the woods and fucking playing paintball with each other. They're just pulling each other's dicks. Yeah. They have no hope of ever being an effective fighting force against a modern military. It's fucking silly. It's silly. Even if you took all of the people in this country and you gave them all a fucking machine gun of some kind

and you said, okay, go get them, boys. It still would be a drop in the fucking bucket in terms of firepower compared to what the United States military could bring to bear against that. It's like your buddies that play

intramural flag football on the weekends, taking on the fucking, the Denver Broncos, you know, like, like you aren't even going to touch the ball. Like you,

you get like, you will get sacked every down. And then every time you try to throw your intercepted, and then every time they run a play, every single play they run from scrimmage is a touchdown. Every single one, you will never do anything right so you're not it's that it's that different it's the the disparity is that great

so it's just i mean and i totally agree you know it's it's a very i think it's a great email i think it makes a lot of sense although i don't understand the uh anti-humanist anti-human rights thing i don't get that i don't understand what that means we got an interesting email from nick here he says that he actually did do the dateable guy thing back in the day uh and nick said my fundamentalist christian parents had me read it when i was in freshman a freshman in high school i already had uh i already had as much of a girlfriend as a 14 year old guy could have when i when i started it i was dumped immediately after completing the book and applying some of the God's principles to my relationship. My parents said it,

my parents said it was because she wasn't a godly woman after all. After continuing to apply sexist and misogynist attitudes towards dating with no success for several more years, I came to the conclusion that I was an asshole. I love that. And then it says here, several years and one major deconversion later, I am in a respectful relationship.

I am in a respectful relationship with mutual respect, understanding and evenly distributed pickle jars. I love that. Although in my house, they are not evenly distributed. I have to open up all the pickle jars. You must. You have to.

I do. I mean, I literally do. Like my wife's hands are too small. I literally have to open up all the pickle jars. But he sent us, this is in reference. I might not have said it clearly in the beginning. This is in reference to that look-a-do guy.

Look-a-do. Look-a-do. That guy who we talked about being dateable, he had a dateable website last week. So that's who this is referring to. So thank you, Nick, for sending in the message. Tom, we got an interesting email from Stephanie about a French translation for eggnog. Yeah. First, let me inform you that eggnog in French is called something in French.

This translates to chicken milk. First, let me inform you that eggnog in French is called something in French. This translates to chicken milk. That does not help the appeal. Chicken milk? Like, that does not. I'm going to go milk me the chickens. Oh, man. I think you're misheard. I mean, chicken milk, I mean, clearly that's obviously rooster milk, right?

Is what we're talking about here? Like, when you milk a rooster? Stefan says, I have no clue how they arrived to this translation but since hens do not make any milk that would leave the production to the cock or rooster in polite conversation this might explain the consistency

of the product oh yeah that is that's a horror show yeah well it's eggs and milk, so it makes sense. I guess in some way. I just think it would be better if you just stewed a chicken in the milk

and then tried to drink the milk. Just get rid of the milk entirely and eat some chicken. And drink a bourbon. Right. What the fuck? I've solved the eggnog problem. We got a funny clip from Jay. Jay sent a Futurama clip that I'll embed in our website.

Very funny. It's about prayer. It's about a wall. I don't know Futurama at all, but I laughed out loud at this. So I'll put this as a video on this episode, episode 128. We got a funny email from Devin about Rob Zombie. It says the girl I was dating when I was 17 was really into Rob Zombie. That's weird.

Really into him. She liked him so much that she had a life-size poster thing on the wall next to her bed. A fucking life-size Rob Zombie poster. What? While zombie Robert was not actually in the room at the time for all intents and purposes he might as well have been he's talking about losing his fucking v card on the bed next to a quote gothy sasquatch that's a great way to describe rob zombie that's awesome gothy sasquatch i love looking at you as something between a menacing look and disapproving judgment.

He kind of makes the Sasquatch sounds, too. Like the Squatch when they do the Squatch calls. Right. He kind of sounds like Rob Zombie. He's just like, he survives entirely on the leavings of those finding Bigfoot people. He lives entirely on donuts he finds on tree branches and bacon.

He's talking to it later on in his email. Devin mentions that he's started listening to Everyone's a Critic and that's how we found out about Rob Zombie, etc. If you're interested in listening to those Everyone's a Critic episodes, they're really bad. They're just as bad as our regular

show. They're probably worse, actually. I'd go worse. They're worse than what we do now, so I have no idea why you'd want to subject yourself to them, but they are on our website. If you go to our website, there's a link at the top that says everyone's a critic. If you click on that, that's our old show. So we did a movie review show for 70 some episodes and they're all available. So you can go listen to all the episodes. They're terrible. So go spend some time doing that. That's bad. But he does mention that we actually pronounced Baphomet correctly in the past.

And I think that I might have said Bah-ha-met. And Bah-ha-met is the demon, not demon, the dragon in Dungeons & Dragons, which is why I knew how to say it. And it's also spelled with an H there. So that's why I say it differently. So if we're mispronouncing it and saying it's fake now, it's because it's spelled differently. And that's why I think that we're mispronouncing it purposefully because there's a PH in the middle.

I mean, that's fat. That's PH fat. You got to say ph. And because it's fake. PH for fake. They're all fake. I mean, it's as fake as a D&D playing dragon. Right, exactly.

It's the same real. Bahamut is the exact same thing. There's a reason why they modeled a fantasy after it. Exactly, right? It's the same amount of real. None of the real. Stefan sends an email and says he's 17 and currently applying for University of England. He says that he's from Wales.

I want to read this. He says, that place next to England, which is basically like what Canada is to America, only have a long heritage of intercourse with sheep. That's awesome. So do the Canadians. It's moose up there. They get a lot of beaver up there.

He sent an email, an article in this email about science not being as self-correcting as it could be. I started reading it, but I didn't read it all the way through. I will read it soon and we'll talk about it when we get a chance. But thank as, uh, as it could be. And, uh, I haven't, I, I started reading it, but I didn't read it all the way through. I will read it soon and we'll talk about it, uh, when we get a chance, but thank you, Stefan. Thank you very much. So this upcoming week, it is our hope to be on Adam's herd mentality as well as Adam coming on our show. So Adam from, uh, from Twitter,

who runs a show called the herd mentality. Uh, he's from, uh, Australia. He is going to be on our show this week. We're going to be trying to record with him and then, uh, hopefully we'll be on his show, which will be awesome.

And then the following week, we're going to hopefully be on Ross's show skeptically challenged with geo from geologic. So it'd be the four of us just having a little chit-chat for a little while. So those should be great shows. We'll let you know when they're out. We're just letting you know ahead of time that they're sort of percolating. If they don't go through,

don't blame us this time because it won't be our fault. This sounds like a lot of fun though. I think they're going to be fun shows. Yeah, they should be very good. So we hope that all of that goes through and we'll let you know if any of that stuff happens. So that's it for this week. We're going to leave you as always with the skeptics creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. God damn it.