Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 13: Triskaidekaphobia and Porn

Episode Date: September 19, 2011

This Podcast is for the Week of September 12 through September 19, 2011. Stroies this time: The number 13. UFO’s: General’s, Pilots and Government Officials go on the record. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann are fatalistic. Bachmann and the HPV vaccine. Rick Perry and the death penalty. Ron Paul talks about motivations for 9/11. Tea Party debates and healthcare. Paul Ryan wants to increase payroll taxes. Christians against Porn. Little People pornstar and Gordon Ramsey lookalike dies. Clips: David Cross on Terrorism, Jesus Camp, Onion News Network - Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass', CNN Tea Party Debate, A Few Good Men.

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. And seriously, if the terrorists hated freedom, then the Netherlands would be fucking dust, you know? As would Denmark and Sweden and Switzerland and New Zealand and Canada and every other country that's truly freer than we are. But it's true. I don't think Osama bin Laden sent those planes in to attack us because he hated our freedom.

I think he did it because of our support for Israel and our ties with the Saudi family and all our military bases in Saudi Arabia. You know why I think that? Because that's what he fucking said. Are we a nation of six-year-olds? Answer, yes. God damn it. Why did the bad man put the plane in the building? Because he hated freedom. Because I went to the Nexus Lexus database and there's over 1400 articles that actually explain why. Have a cookie. Have a cookie. Get him in the backyard. Show him the outdoor pool. All right. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news,

makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. Cecil, I feel a little nervous, so I'm not going to lie to you. This is episode 13. I thought about, I considered skipping it and going right to like 12B. No, you got to do 14A, I think. I think you got to do 14A and B. You know, Tom, here's something that's fucking shocking in today's society. I work in a modern, relatively modern high rise in downtown Chicago, and we have a 14A and B. I know.

I've been to that building because that's the same building the Chicago Water Department is in. And it is shocking to look at that. Like you get in the elevator, you're like, really? This was designed by superstitious halfwits. That's not a good sign when you're getting in an elevator. A and B. How is that possible? I don't. You're you got to figure at this point on the 14th floor, 13th floor, right? You're 140 feet in the air. I don't want 140 feet in the air. I don't want myself to be suspended by fucking faith because faith will not suspend me.

I would like to be suspended by engineers. Right. And construction. Yeah. And who could not give a fuck what floor you're on? Right. And construction. Who could not give a fuck what floor you're on? Can you imagine the engineer of that building?

Like, seriously, you're the engineer of the building. You're like, okay, so how many floors is it? It's 26, 25. What? How many floors am I building? How many floors am I building? 26, 25. What? It doesn't make any sense. Tell me how many floors am I building? How many floors am I building? 26, 25. What? It doesn't make any sense.

Tell me how many floors. Well, there's not a 13th floor. It's got to be the asshole who's funding it, right? Right. It's got to be the asshole who's like, well, I'm not going to go in my building if it has a 13th floor. Well, you know that there would be people who wouldn't take a job on the 13th floor. Oh. And to them I say, good. I wouldn't hire you anyway.

I wish I was on the 13th floor. I worked with a woman once who believed that email like spam email was sent by the devil, like the devil. And she wouldn't open up chain letters and other things because she thought they were satanic. Sure. Sure, sure. I'm convinced that this woman would not have worked on the 13th floor. It would have made for a better year and a half of my life when I had to work next to this idiot. This woman shouldn't be working at all. She shouldn't. She should be unemployed.

Yeah. Forever. She's barely smart enough to feed herself. Oh, you wouldn't believe the shit she ate. She wasn't smart enough to feed herself. Oh, you wouldn't believe the shit she ate. She wasn't smart enough to feed herself. Good lord. Okay, so I'm the devil, and I have nothing better to do than send spam email to people. It's just like, hmm, how can I take over the world today? Oh, I'll send spam email to people.

They're just going to delete it anyway. The devil knows you're just going to delete it. Isn't the devil so mad at Gmail? They're like, to delete it anyway. The devil knows you're just going to delete it. And the devil's all mad at Gmail. They're like, the spam filter, it's too strong. Well, I think, well, Gmail, God mail, huh? That's where it comes from. Once again, your devil is

weak sauce. Right? Your devil's like, I'm going to destroy the world by minor inconveniences. He'd be like, but all I had to do was hit empty spam. Like, it took me like a moment. It didn't take. Plus, your headlines are hilarious. Your subject lines are great.

It's all boner pills and wristwatches. I think it's time to move on to our first story. Despite this being episode 13, I prayed over the microphone, so it'll be fine. We are just going to fucking soldier through that shit. Right. It's all you can do. Right. I mean, it's bad.

Thankfully, it's Sunday, not Friday. You know, that would be dangerous. Oh, gosh. You know, I was born on Friday the 13th at 12, 13 in the morning. I'm like double fucked, man. Right. Well, my wife had surgery on the 13th. I was, well, not at all worried about that, actually.

It turns out. Because I'm not an idiot. Right. Unlike the people who are interested in this book, Leslie Keen wrote a book about UFOs. The title of the book is UFOs, Generals, Pilots and Government Officials Go on the Record by Leslie Keen. And I have to say, I think this book now I haven't read it because I don't yet know how to read. I'm hoping, though, you know, I'd like to learn. But looking at the at the jacket cover information, this book kind of seems like it's going to be nonsense, Cecil.

One of the things that you want to point out to people when they talk about UFOs is that the first fucking letter stands for unidentified. Yeah, not alien, right? People don't get it. People just automatically assume it's a UFO. Therefore, it was an alien. I mean, one of the things that you want to say to these people is there's a lot of things in the world that are unexplained, that are unidentified. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're something special or that they're supernatural

or that they're extraterrestrial. That doesn't mean that. It just means that it's unexplained or unidentified. But that doesn't mean also that there's not a perfectly rational explanation for all these things. Well, sure. It's what this is, is God of the gaps. Just take out God and put an alien. Sure. It's, you know, grays of the gaps. Right. You know, it's nonsense no matter how you slice it. And and even the jacket cover, you know, it says we know that all of all UFO sightings reported, 95 percent can be explained as ordinary phenomena. However, within that remaining five percent, spectacular, well-documented UFO events have been officially investigated by government agencies. Yet no conventional explanations were found. OK, so all that means is it's still unidentified.

Right. UFO is a, I actually think UFO is a great term. It's an unidentified flying object. Great. So we just don't know what it is. I don't understand why people can't let themselves be okay with a little bit of uncertainty in their lives. You know, there are some things we just don't know.

It doesn't mean that they're unknowable or that we have to ascribe supernatural or extraterrestrial causation to those things. We can just say, hey, I don't know. That was weird. Hopefully we'll figure it out. Let's look at all the evidence and keep an open mind and eventually we'll figure it out.

I would really love it if they came up with a different fucking, uh, a different acronym for it. Um, it could, because flying indicates something in itself and I wish it was something like unidentified object that appeared in the sky. Like I wish that that is what they said. Yeah. Because flying sort of indicates something. Flying gives it some sort of mobility or motion when it might not have that at all. Sure. Yeah. It might just be like unidentified fuzz on the fucking camera.

Yeah. Which it is a lot. Yeah. And I have to say, you know, looking at this, like officials and government officials and generals and pilots that go on the record. Well, that really sounds like something, doesn't it? Except for if government officials really went on the record to say that they were fucking space aliens. It wouldn't take an investigative journalist to write a book about.

Right. Right. If a government official actually came out and said, whoa, we have hardcore, not just a bunch of eyewitnesses, horrifyingly unreliable. We have actual genuine American evidence of space aliens flying about in our airspace. If we actually had that, you wouldn't need to have a tell-all book by Leslie Keen. Right. You wouldn't have to have anything because we would know about it because government officials would say, holy hair on fire shit.

There's goddamn aliens flying around. Yeah, that's totally true. And what are they going to say that you don't already know? Oh, fuck. We saw something. We didn't know what it was. Uh-oh. And we still don't.

And we still are kind of unclear as to what it was well great wouldn't this be a short book I just feel like people get confused with these terms way too often people like you said do god of the gaps way too often with this sort of thing

and what you really need to do is just think about it in a regular rational mindset it's like that fucking celebrity ghost stories fucking show where half the fucking half the things that they do in that show are sleep paralysis. It's like half of them are sleep paralysis. Like sleep paralysis has been documented over and over and over to make it feel like you're fucking having some sort of crazy, weird paranormal experience when really you're just fucking partially asleep, stupid. So these people get on this celebrity ghost story show and they're like, oh, my God, something was sitting on my chest.

It was probably a demon. That show, I will say my wife likes that show. My wife likes that show, too. That show, I'm not going to lie about it. That show scares the hell out of me not because i believe in ghosts at all but because the actor will be telling a story they're like yeah and then i saw this thing and then the images have nothing at all the images are the scare it's like the most manipulative show ever it is because the images are the scariest things you've ever seen it's like

here's like a dead baby with like blacked out eyes like blood shooting out of its mouth you got these sharky dead lights they're just like and they're like fucking like a like a weird light is on them and they're like it just flashes for like a second you're like what the fuck was that this guy's talking about how he he just walked to the fucking counter and he all he did is all he says in his story is yeah so i get up and i walk into the other room and then you just hear flash and you see this fucking like demon is like ready to pierce his fucking soul and you're like he didn't mention a demon at all and like your reptile brain is like oh my god what the fuck was that so you're watching it and you have this like like this massive uh reaction to the show like because you have this like feel like this innate fear reaction

like what the fuck that doesn't have anything to do with anything. What the fuck? Why was that happening? And then they go on telling the story, and then an hour later, they turn off the TV, it's time to go to bed, and you're like, I don't want to go to bed. You just manipulated the base fear response in my body for a fucking hour. And at the same time, you told

a totally unrelated story. And then I turn it off, and I'm like, wow, that seems not real at all. But still, I'm horrified. What the fuck is going on? And they spruce up every story like that. That's off the topic. But still, this is a very similar thing.

It's people blowing things out of proportion just because they want to have this, they want to have an experience. They want to have an experience that they could tell other people about, oh my God, I saw a UFO. I just pray over this equipment. We speak over the PowerPoint presentations, all of the video projectors, and we'll say, devil, we know what you love to do in meetings like this. And we say, you will not, in Jesus name, you will not prevent this message from going out. No microphone problems, in Jesus' name.

So speaking of unidentified, I've got to figure out who the yutzes are that are flying around in their fucking magic spaceship and thinking about voting for either Bachman or Rick Perry. Because it can't be anybody with any fucking sense here on this planet. There's a great blog, teapotatheism.blogspot.com. There's a very good article from Thursday, September the 15th about the title of it is Our Profoundly Fatalistic Candidates. I think this is actually a really good blog post, a really interesting blog post. And it brings up a good point that if you look at Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman and you really think about some of the

stuff that they're saying, they are profoundly fatalistic. Yeah. One of my favorite quotes from the article is at the very end when he says, Obama is not a good role model for the separation of church and state, but at least he doesn't piss away his money or yours on prayer rallies when things start going downhill. Imagine had that been his response to the credit downgrade or if his jobs plan was to hire a bunch of temp government chaplains to pray for jobs. That, I think, is something we could have expected from Perry and Bachman. And this is so fucking true, right? Like, what would they do for the credit downgrade?

Because they prayed for rain. So here's something equally uncontrollable by them. What do they do? Well, pray for it. Well, that didn't work. Now what? Wouldn't you want somebody in office who's got a better plan other than pray for it? You know, I would get it.

It's fine if you want to pray. This is sort of going back to our last episode, right? It's like if there's a hurricane coming and you board up your house and you pray at the same time, fine. Walk and chew gum. It doesn't matter. same time, fine. Walk and chew gum. It doesn't matter. But if your plan is to, I don't know, cut spending on firefires and pray for rain, you're doing it wrong. And you're doing it wrong because you've got a mindset that's fundamentally fatalistic.

You've got a mindset that the end times are coming. So if I really believed that the end times were coming, if I really believed that the great man in the sky has a message for me and it's not a good one, right? You know, it's not a long-term thousand-year, let's all work together and see if we can't suss this out. But instead, I've got this crazy sort of hyper-Christian mindset. You know, why in the world would I plan for a long-term future? I wouldn't. I don't believe there is such a thing as a long-term future. Getting these people into office is basically like saying, hey, you, that guy who has no optimism for the future, what should we do next? That's not who you ask.

Well, that or you're relying on God to bail you out whenever you get into trouble, right? Right. Well, I'm just going to do what I think is right. And even if it's fucking horrifyingly wrong, it doesn't matter because I prayed about it and God told me which way to go and I did it. And then everything's all fucked up. Well, you're not going to blame God because he told you which way to go, but now it's all fucked up and then you're like, well, I guess I'll just

pray for him to fix it. At least I'm the one who got you in the fucking problems in the first place if you prayed about it and then made your decision. Lord, the day is at hand. We are in the last days. You are Jehovah God. Michelle Bachman said

some crazy shit. Speaking of just crazy shit, said some really crazy shit about the HPV vaccine. She basically said that a woman who gave her daughter HPV vaccine later discovered that the HPV vaccine caused her daughter to become mentally retarded. vaccine caused her daughter to become mentally retarded. Now, you would think that that would be a good thing for the Bachman campaign, because clearly only the retarded would vote for her. But instead, she was using this as evidence that people should not, in fact, get the HPV vaccine. Somebody came up to you and said, oh, hey, my daughter's retarded because she took this thing.

Where's your science? And then you're going to talk about this vaccine, which helps thousands of people beat cancer, cervical cancer. And you're going to talk about this and like, oh, well, you know, one person said it caused fucking somebody to go retarded. so therefore it's a it's it's you know you're basically feeding the populist poison well that's like you know and we're going to talk about this later on it's like shouting fire in a fucking crowded theater you know that's dangerous speech you're hurting people by saying something like that because somebody out there is stupid enough to believe you right all all day long you know mich, Michelle Bachman's defense is like, well, you know, I'm just kind of repeating something I heard from this woman. Like, that's not good enough.

That's not good enough. You're going to be you're trying to be president of the United States. You can't discuss a major health policy or a major health issue as a person who speaks with authority, as a person who is trying to represent the United States of America on an executive level without verifying information first. You can't just be a rumor monger. It's not a game of telephone. We're talking about inciting a rumor, like you said, that might cause people in large numbers to not become vaccinated against something which has the potential to give them cervical cancer. Now, it's possible that legitimate claims can be made against the HPV vaccine. I don't know what those claims are. But if legitimate claims can be made against that vaccine, then by all

means, bring them to the fore. But repeating a that by all means bring them to the fore. But repeating a rumor is not bringing that shit to the fore. It's nonsense. And that's why two bioethics professors said, great, bust out the medical records. If you can prove it, we'll give her $10,000. Right. $10,000 to the woman who comes forward. I got to tell you, if I had a child who took a vaccine and became damaged, brain damaged as a result of a vaccine, and two people were like, just give me the medical records. I'll give you $10,000.

Well, fuck, I could use that $10,000. And I would fucking take that money in a heartbeat. But you notice nobody's going to ever come forward for this money. This money will never be claimed, ever. Yeah, well, one guy said one thing to me one time about something. Well, great. I mean like this is the most useless bit of information you could give me. And you're giving it to people in a national forum.

You're giving it to people in a way that is a giant debate that is public – that is televised and people can see it and hear it. And that's dangerous talk. And you're basically – you're endangering people by being a fucking moron, by reporting anonymous hearsay as fact. And why shouldn't you be fucking held accountable for something like that? It's an awful, stupid thing to say. You know, we've got another article here where somebody was saying that Bachman was right to attack Perry on the HPV vaccine, not because of what she said, but because this person felt that Rick Perry was in the pocket of Merck, who is the developer and the drug company which sells this vaccine. I took I took actually a lot of issue with this with this article.

I think this was sent to us by one of our listeners. On the Facebook, there was a back and forth and somebody had posted this as a response. Yeah, this is this is actually, I think, pretty poor thinking. What this says is that, hey, you know, the HPV vaccine, what Bachman said, she was right to attack Rick Perry on it because Rick Perry took money from Merck and Merck is the seller of this vaccine. And so, of course, Rick Perry is going to be a proponent of this vaccine because he's owned, the suggestion, of course, is that he is owned by this drug company. And so we'll push all course, is that he is owned by this drug

company. And so we'll push all of the drugs that this drug company manufactures. I think that's nonsense on two levels. I think first of all, Bachman's comment was insane and inaccurate and that any good that a comment like that does is collateral damage at best. And two, there simply wasn't a lot of money involved for Rick Perry, not, you know, in the grand scheme of things. And I doubt very much Rick Perry knows all of the individual drugs that Merck manufactures and keeps an eye out for whenever anybody says

something bad about, you know, the hundreds of drugs manufactured by Merck so that he can rebut those statements or stand in support of those drugs. I think that's insane. Well, and here's another thing to think about. They gave him something like $30,000. Perry's gubernatorial campaign, I'm reading directly from the article, for example, received nearly $30,000 from the drug maker since 2000. Since 2000? Since 2000? So over, you know, at this point, 10 years, he's received $30,000, which equates if you take that actual vaccine, because they have to get it three times, it's $130 a time.

It's under 100 times, it's about 75 different treatments of people, 75 different individuals got this vaccine. That's how many people it cost them to pay Perry back for his, you know, making it a statewide thing. So instead of looking at it, you know, how cynical is that to look at it and be like, well, he didn't do it for the safety of anybody. He didn't do it because there's proven science that it helps people. No, he did it because they paid him money. Another question I have is how much did Merck give to his competitors? How much did Merck give to the people that were opposing him in those races? I guarantee it's probably close to the same amount of money because they want to be in good with whoever gets in office.

Right. That's the thing a lot of people don't seem to consider is that, you know, these massive corporations, they give money to everybody. They hedge their fucking bets. You know, $30,000 is nothing. It's inconsequential. It's not even the base salary of a drug rep, right? We're not even talking about the non-commissioned base salary of a single employee. For a year. You're talking of a span of 10 years here.

Right. $3,000 a year. Who gives a shit about $3,000 fucking dollars a year? You know, it's not enough. $3,000 a year wouldn't a shit about three thousand fucking dollars a year you know it's not enough three thousand dollars a year wouldn't influence me right it wouldn't if you said tom i'll give you three thousand dollars to uh uh do something you don't think is ethical i tell you to go fuck yourself in the ear you know there's no fucking way i would do that not fucking ever would i do that for three, I can't be bought

that cheap. And I don't make the kind of money this guy makes. So, to suggest that Rick Perry can be bought for $3,000 a year? And it's not like he's getting the $30,000. It's going to his campaign fund. Right, it doesn't go right into his pocket. It's not like he's buying fucking iPods with it.

A gubernatorial campaign fund? I hate to fucking break it to you, but those are million-dollar campaign funds. We're talking millions of dollars here. $30,000 is inconsequential when you're talking about a millions-of-dollar campaign. It's nothing. It means nothing. And the amount of money, it says even this article even. I mean, just even look at your own numbers.

Merck stands to make make 4.29 billion dollars they stand to make billions of dollars off a 30 000 donation or did they stand to make 30 4.29 billion dollars off of good fucking science which is it i think if if Merck gives Rick Perry money, he doesn't look and say, OK, well, fuck. Now I'm owned by Merck. So, OK, what drugs do you make, Merck? Right. Merck. Oh, well, here's a list of probably a thousand or more drugs that we manufacture.

Oh, shit. That's a lot to keep my eye on. Yeah. So, fuck. I mean, that's silly. It is. That's just silly. And like you said, I don't even fucking like Rick Perry.

Yeah, don't make me like don't make me stand with Rick Perry, you assholes. I'm going to stand here and defend this douchebag. But even I don't think he could be bought. Right. Right. Chief Justice John Roberts said, while evidence presented to the court indicates a degree of fallibility in the procedural methods of capital punishment, it is the opinion of this court that the practice remains hella fucking balls-to-the-wall awesome. Justice Clarence Thomas supported the argument immediately,

citing the precedent set by the movie 300, in which the offending parties were, quote, kicked into a huge fucking pit. Justice Samuel Alito then stated, yeah, or like Judge Dredd. Justice Antonin Scalia then stated quite loudly, quote, I am the law. That's the catchphrase from the film, Judge Dredd. Yes, it is. Then there followed approximately one minute of all of the justices individually claiming that they were the law. So speaking of more cognitive dissonance, Cecil, Rick Perry, you know, obviously governor of Texas, pretty much had an innocent man executed. I mean, I think it's very difficult to at this point suggest otherwise.

If he didn't have an innocent man executed, he had somebody who had no business being in prison beyond a reasonable doubt executed. If they got the right guy, it was by fucking accident. Yeah, in one of these cases where he's had like 200 plus people in like one year or something executed, at least in one case that they know of, yeah, the guy was probably innocent. And that's just one that they know of, Tom. That's not all of them. Yeah. So if it happens 1% of the time, then two people, 2.3 people, you know. Sure. Definitely fucking innocent. You know, hopefully it's less.

I really, truly, truly hope that it's less. I hope that it's just the one person. If it's just the one person, it's still fucking awful. Still too many. It is still a tragedy. it's just the one person, it's still fucking awful. Still too many. It is still a tragedy. Really, there's an interesting article in Slate, which was I thought it was a great example, again, of cognitive dissonance. Republicans like Rick Perry, they're skeptical of everything,

right? They're critical of everything the government gets their hands on, except for capital punishment. Like the one thing that you want to make sure, if you're a small government person, the one thing you want to make sure that the government doesn't have the power to do is fucking murder you. Wrongly murder you. You want to make sure that that shit doesn't happen. And when you listen to, you know, these articles dovetail really nicely together,

but one of them is on the daily costs. There's a clip from Talking Points Memo embedded in this article that I'll put on our page. And you watch this clip. It's about it's about a minute and 45 seconds long. And it's it's Rick Perry saying, you know, he starts to say, well, somebody says, well, you know, your your state has murdered this. He didn't say murdered, but, you know, has has executed this many people. And Rick and everybody in the crowd starts cheering. And I'm like, why the fuck are you cheering people? Like these people are dead now.

Nobody is better off that these people are dead. Nobody is better off. The people who lost live ones, they're not better off. The people who are dead are certainly not better off. The people who, uh, the people who are dead are certainly not better off the people's families of this, you know, you know, maybe you are a killer, but you still are somebody's fucking son. You still are somebody's fucking brother. What, what does it prove that you kill these people? It's not about, it's not about justice. It's about vengeance and the government should never be in the vengeance business. It should never be in the vengeance business. And until government has a track record of perfection.

It should never even contemplate the idea of capital punishment. I mean, it should not even be on the table to consider until we know that our justice system is flawless. our justice system is flawless. Right. And since that is unknown, you know, this, this guy in particular, this, this Cameron Todd William, um, that guy was as innocent of these crimes as I was. I would not want to be executed for the murder of three children. I wouldn't want to be called a murderer, hauled into court as a murderer, have my freedom taken from me, and then be killed by the state as a murderer. So if I'm not willing to allow that to happen to me, how am

I willing to allow it to happen to him? He's the same level of innocent of this crime as I am. So this idea, you know, I think people have this sort of absurdist notion that, you know, even if you got the wrong guy, they were probably guilty of something else. So much, you know, you get this this this sort of feedback from people from time to time that like, oh, well, you know, I mean, wrong place, the wrong time. Sure. But, you know, it's this idea that like that the bad people sort of travel together and so if you nab the guy just to the left of the killer and you kill him instead well yeah okay we didn't get the right guy but we got a guy right and we took a criminal off the street well fuck that noise man This guy didn't do it to the same degree I didn't do it. And now he's fucking dead. Somebody put a fucking needle in his arm and shot

him up full of shit that fucking killed him. And now he's dead and he doesn't get to have a life again and he doesn't go to heaven and he doesn't come and go to hell and he doesn't get fucking reincarnated. He gets fucking dissolved and eaten underground. That's what happens to him. These are the same people, Tom, that will say something like, when you mention universal health care, we'll look at you and scoff and be like, well, the government shouldn't be in charge of saving people's lives or making sure you have health care. They shouldn't be in charge of that. There shouldn't be in charge – or the government's too incompetent. You hear that all the time. The government's too incompetent to do something like universal health care.

The government is too incompetent to do universal health care and you're willing to like submit to their judgment on whether or not you should die, whether or not an innocent person or a guilty person should be put to death. You're willing to submit to that and you're fucking going to call yourself small government? Fuck you. That's not, that's the biggest government there is. It's not small government at all. When you start looking at issues of criminal justice and issues of the military issues where lives are at stake, right? Right. You know, then it's, it's, it's this sort of like kill them all and let God sort them out kind of an attitude. But, but when somebody's got, you know,

fucking double pneumonia and wants to get better, it's sort of like, well, you should have thought of that before you spent all your money, stupid. Should have thought of that before you got sick. Right, yeah, you shouldn't have gotten sick. That'll teach you, probably won't get sick again, probably fucking die. Probably won't get sick again.

You're right. I won't get sick again. I'll get dead instead that's not as good I was feeling better when I wasn't dead well this guy was too you know we fucking killed him and it kills me that his base that people

aren't outraged right isn't this the thing that death penalty opponents have been fearing but also looking toward to happen for so long because we knew it was fucking inevitable that eventually they're going to kill a guy that's fucking innocent

and then nobody in their right mind will be able to defend it. That's happened so many times, Tom. I don't understand. It's happened so many times. Like hundreds of people have been exonerated after they're dead. After they're fucking dead in the ground.

They don't get a chance to fucking go to appeals court after they're dead. That doesn't fucking happen. They don't just fucking bring the coffin and be like, well, whoopsie. That doesn't fucking happen. You can't like undeadify them, right? Like and we granted you a full. Brains. Brains. Well, and that really isn't that the heart of the problem, though?

I mean, you could bring them back to life, but then they'd just be zombies. Then they'd just be zombies. And then they would be killers, and you'd have to shoot them and kill them. So at this point, you've weathered half our shitstorm of ranting and raving. So we're going to pause for a moment to give you all the information you need to splutter out your furious rejoinders. Stay listening for the second half of our show after the break. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Be sure to visit the Cognitive Dissonance website, dissonancepod.com. Be sure to like the show on Facebook or follow us on Twitter. The Twitter handle is at DissonancePod.

Thanks to everyone who shares our podcast through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. We'd also like to thank the people who have rated us and subscribed on iTunes and Podfeet or promoted the show through message boards like Reddit. Your help is fucking greatly appreciated. So this is an interesting video. Ron Paul, why do we have to like him? Why does he have to be the only one on that side who occasionally makes sense? Well, that other guy's making sense.

Huntsman. Yeah. Huntsman makes a lot of sense. I like John Huntsman. I think he's good. I mean, he won't go anywhere. Nobody with any fucking sense has any traction. That's because only fucking crazy people go forward in the fucking GOP today.

Nowadays, only the crazy can fucking go forward. So, Noam Chomsky in a video was asked to comment on Ron Paul's comments regarding 9-11. Ron Paul makes a tremendous amount of sense, and you cannot get further on the political

spectrum from fucking Noam Chomsky to Ron Paul. Right. They are as fucking far apart as possible. And they are in complete agreement here, Cecil. Noam Chomsky does call himself like a social libertarian, I think. He says something like that. Like philosophy is quasi-libertarian. So there is some connection, some inroads there, although they are very, very small. They're very tiny, and you're right. In many, many ways, they are completely opposite ends of the spectrum. But Ron Paul just fucking spits the truth.

I mean, he just stands up there, and he's just like, yeah, so the reason why Al-Qaeda attacked us is A, B, and C. And he starts to get fucking booed because of it. And he's like, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. I'm not fucking – I'm not the one telling you why they fucking attacked us. Al-Qaeda is telling you why they attacked us, motherfucker. They'll fucking put it out on the line as to why they attacked us. Yeah, they couched that shit in fucking religion.

And I read the letter, actually, that Osama bin Laden sent very recently. I read a letter. The entire letter went after all the shitstorm happened in 9-11. They sent a letter about, you know, Islam. And it started to talk about Islam. And that shit's couched in religion. And, you know, you want to say to people that are going to be like, well, it was clearly just the religion that they attacked us for. Don't, don't fucking believe that,

you know, they are carefully couching their language too, so that they can get a rise out of us. Recognize that they're going to put some shit in there so that the giant Christian base in this country will find it offensive and find some other reason to dislike them too. I don't want to discount religion completely because you and I both agree, Tom, that you can't get there from where we are. Like you and I aren't going to fucking fly a plane into anything except for unless it's a fucking landing strip. Like that's the only place that you and I would ever fly a plane. But the thing is, is that and we recognize that. But you just like Ron Paul says here, there's a lot of other fucking factors in there. Don't get so mired up into thinking that it's only religion or only one or two things that cause this.

There's a lot of fucking factors. Well, Ron Paul says he's like, it's not because they hated our freedom and prosperity. That has nothing to do with it. Look, nobody gets, and then that's really where he gets booed, right? Because that was like the tagline, like they hate our freedom. Like the terrorists hate our freedom. The terrorists could give a flying rat fuck if we're, if, if, if we're free and they're not, they do not give a shit. You know, of course they couch this shit in religious terms. They need to motivate their base to. And they're motivating our base to hate them.

It's perfect. It's fucking great. It's a great strategy. There's no better tool, right, to get the tools worked up. Absolutely. On both sides. You're not going to get somebody strapping on a suicide vest or flying a plane into a building unless they've got, you know, some reward in paradise waiting for them.

But you also know that you're there's nothing you're going to say, which is going to inflame the senses of the people that you're trying to attack and instill fear into more than making this into a religious war. So it's fucking win-win for the guys in charge. But the guys in charge aren't doing this entirely for religious reasons. Ron Paul knows the reasons. The reasons have been fucking stated by the guys in charge. Sure. You know, they're not a great fucking secret.

They're only a secret to the people who've never bothered to Google why. You know, like fucking Google it. it google that shit right now and figure it out and figure you know because it's not it's not a fucking secret it's not a secret there's no secret document telling us why you know the terrorist attack attacked on 9-11 there's a lot of reasons why uh and and those reasons we one of the things that he talks about here is like well they're fucking we were occupying their space he's like what if they were here what if they were here occupying our space

they had bases here what would we do to them nobody wants to hear that shit everybody always wants to fucking plug their ears and go la la la la the moment anybody fucking says well what are we doing on their little stair soil everybody's just like well you hate america you hate america you fucking

idiots why do you hate america fucking retards do you not fucking realize when you put a fucking opposing aggressive force on somebody else's land that they're gonna look at you and be like well someone's gonna to die. Don't you think that's going to happen? Imagine if in central Arkansas there was a Saudi Arabian air base. Fucking A, man. I mean, just to say it sounds crazy, right? It sounds crazy to say it. But we have bases all fucking over the place.

And, you know, even if it wasn't, let's extend it out. Imagine if a Saudi Arabian air base was in Tijuana, Mexico. Okay. That would make a lot of people very, very uncomfortable. Maybe it's not in our country, but it's our fucking neighbor. Right? And that's the same thing. Even though we're not absolutely everywhere, although year after year we grow more places than we were before.

It's not like you hear about us shutting down a lot of international bases. Yeah. Oh, we don't need that one anymore. Wipe, wipe, wipe. Anybody who thinks we're leaving Afghanistan without bases. Right. Or leaving Iraq without bases. You're fucking nuts.

I mean, we went through a lot of fucking work to put those bases there. And let's not pretend otherwise. A lot of fucking buckets of fucking money went over there to put those bases there. And they're going to protect their interests. And, you know, imperialism never fucking works. I don't understand why people don't get it by now.

I mean, how fucking far do we have to come in our history as human beings to realize imperialism fucking sucks donkey balls? Who's the fucking idiot that's like, well, let's go with a strict imperialist policy. The sun never sets on the bridge. You're a physician, Ron Paul. So you're a doctor. You know something about this subject.

Let me ask you this hypothetical question. A healthy 30-year-old young man has a good job, makes a good living, but decides, you know what, I'm not going to spend $200 or $300 a month for health insurance because I'm healthy, I don't need it. But, you know, something terrible happens, all of a sudden he needs it. Who's going to pay for it if he goes into a coma, for example? Who pays for that? In a society that you accept welfarism and socialism,

he expects the government to take care of him. What do you want? But what he should do is whatever he wants to do and assume responsibility for himself. My advice to him would have a major medical policy, but not before. But he doesn't have that. He doesn't have it, and he needs intensive care for six months. Who pays? That's what freedom is all about. Taking your own risk.

This whole idea that you have to compare and take care of everybody. But Congressman, are you saying the society should just let him die? No, I practice medicine. I practice medicine. So in the ultimate stay classy move, the Tea Party nutters were cheering, actually, comments about leaving the uninsured to die. Let's clarify. It wasn't the entire crowd. It was it was admittedly only like maybe five or six voices. But that doesn't necessarily mean that people didn't agree with them and that that is not a

way in which I think a lot of people would feel. But one of the things I want to talk about more so than the people who cheered is the fucking stupid question that gets asked. Because, you know, it's such a loaded question. He's like, well, this guy is perfectly healthy and, you know, he just drops his health insurance and then he gets into a horrible accident. Should you just let him die? And you're like, well, that is not a policy in which we have in the United States. That doesn't exist, right?

So first off, it's a false question as it is. And secondly, I'm kind of with those people who are just like, well, what a douchebag. Like here you had a perfectly good opportunity to have health insurance. Because he's not saying he can't afford it. He's just like, well, he's a young guy who doesn't, who thinks he's invulnerable and gets fucked up. Well, you know, time to call fucking Peter Francis Geraci in the fucking at night to get your fucking info tapes on bankruptcy, asshole, because you're fucked because you fucking didn't have any foresight. I'm with that guy, but I'm also with the, I'm also with the people in the United States

here who say that nobody should have to go through that anyway, we should have universal fucking health care like every other Western nation has. Right. Well, you know, and that guy who calls Peter Francis Geraci, you know, he's a drain on the system. He's a massive drain on the system because it's not like he's not going to get treated. He's going to get treated. You know, he's going to get at least the very least emergency care and then bankrupt that shit. And it's not like it just goes away. It just means that the doctor got fucked and the hospitals got fucked and they roll those

costs into my costs and into your costs. And now it costs me more and it costs you more. And that guy just, you know, declared bankruptcy. And it's the this is not a system. You know, insurance. We've said insurance is not a system for health and for medical coverage. It really should not be. Insurance is a system for catastrophic events that are unlikely, like a house fire or a car crash. You know, it is a certainty in my life that I will use modern medicine at some point.

So to have insurance against it is insane. It just doesn't work. We've got a system of insurance plugged into a health care model, and the two are incompatible. They're fundamentally incompatible. They're economically incompatible, and they're, from a humanitarian standpoint, incompatible they're fundamentally incompatible they're economically incompatible and they're from a humanitarian standpoint incompatible and they're and they're failing they fail every day they fail millions of americans every single day which is why nobody looks to america to develop this you know the the the economic system to pay for health care no one's looking to us like hey that's a model that works you You don't see the people in the UK or in Canada saying,

man, we got to scrap this fucking universal health care coverage and go with what America has. They got it good. They got it good over there. They get to pay for their own health care and decide what they get. Nobody's saying that because it's fucking it's a stupid system. Tom,

have your insurance premiums for your health care ever gone down? Because mine have never gone down. I'm a healthy guy. I haven't been to the doctor. I went to the doctor one time this year, and it was just to get a quick prescription for an anti-inflammatory because my arm was acting up. Like that's it. And it was a fucking 20-minute doctor visit. The doctor, I guarantee, didn't make a lot of money.

And I pay a lot of money into premiums. And I know my company pays a lot of money in premiums every month for me to get my health care coverage. It's paid all the time. And I don't ever use it. And my wife never really uses it. We don't really go to the doctor that often. We go once every couple years. Well, why are my premiums going down?

And when people say, well, that's not how a group plan works, insurance is a fucking group plan, period. Like insurance is based on the group model in that everybody puts their money in and people who don't normally spend a lot get better premiums. That's how car insurance works. Why shouldn't fucking health insurance work the same way? But it doesn't. Our premiums go up and up and up. I got to pay more every year. Why? I'm not getting any more coverage. And it's because our system is fucked in the ear.

Doesn't fucking work. When you go to the doctor and you can't pay your bills, suddenly it gets rolled into my cost. Well, that's a stupid way to do it. If you're going to do it that way, just have fucking universal healthcare and just fucking cut the middleman completely out of it. Well, that's exactly it. I mean, the insurance is a way to universalize health care. You know, it's a way to defer the costs over a large group of people, you know, to pay for the few. So we already have that, except for it just sucks. It's just what we have is a system that sucks. I'm in the opposite situation, right?

My wife just this week had back surgery. I can't even imagine how expensive it's going to be. I have health insurance, but I'm still going to pay out that fucking nose for this thing, you know, because what I have is a PPO, which is going to zing me, you know, whatever my out of pocket is, whatever my deductible is, and then 20%. 20% could be a lot of money it's going to be thousands of dollars no no there's no way for it it's going to be a lot of money fucking back surgery yeah it's gonna be a lot it's gonna be thousands of dollars out of my pocket in addition to the premiums i pay which i you know thankfully i'm in a position where i hope I can absorb it. But there's a lot of people who couldn't.

And then what do they do? They just don't get it. They're just like, well, fucking my life is ruined. I just have pain all the time for the rest of my life. Or I get it. And then I go bankrupt trying to pay these things off. I lose my house or I lose a car. You know, it's, this is not a working system to Ron Paul.

You know, we just talked about how much we liked him. He's an asshole on this issue. He's an asshole because what he suggests is that we don't turn people away. But then he kind of counters that with saying, you know, back before there was was Medicaid churches took care of medical costs. Well, I'm sorry, sir, but you're kind of a liar. Churches could still do that. Nothing's stopping the churches. There's nothing that bars them from doing that now.

But they don't. It's like you go to your church, you say, I need $150,000 for an operation. The church says, fuck, how much? That's a lot. That's a fucking whole lot. I don't know that you're worth that. How much do you tithe? Right, exactly.

Churches aren't, aren't this idea that like churches make up the gap. They don't make up the gap. If they made up the gap, there wouldn't still be a gap. And let's say you take away that fucking that giant a bit of money because he's obviously saying, OK, well, churches will cover it. OK, well, what if they didn't have to cover it? What if the American people, you know, the money I spend currently in my on my fucking insurance, which most Americans fucking spend money on insurance, what if that all went to a giant kitty and everybody got insurance, you know, universal health care? Maybe I have to pay a little more, but maybe, Tom, you pay a little less. And, you know, it all kind of equals out.

Well, now what does the church do with its money? Well, maybe you could fucking put clothes on people's backs, put shoes on people's feet, put them in fucking houses so they can fucking live and have a fucking place to fucking put their head down. Maybe instead of, you know, maybe once we figure out what the fuck's going on in this country and everybody's fine over here, we start going into other places. Other parts of the world like Haiti or fucking sub-Saharan Africa and helping those people out. You know, that money could go to other good fucking things. It doesn't have to go to fucking health care, which the rest of the Western world already gets fucking paid for out of their taxes. Right. It's only working everywhere else.

So there's a despicable cocksucker who I cannot stand. His name is Paul Ryan. I'm sure many people have heard about him. I cannot stand this guy. He's from Wisconsin. And he's a representative from up there. This is this is just perfect, perfect example of why the Republican Party hates America. When this guy is willing to raise, he's willing to cut the taxes. He wants to get not just willing,

he wants to with other people. They want to push so that Barack Obama's payroll tax cuts, which currently affect all of us, a lot of us in this country, they are going to cut those so that we're basically going to get a 50% tax hike on anybody making less than $106,000 per year. And then within the next couple of sentences, he basically says class warfare may make for good politics, but it makes for rotten economics. One hundred and six thousand dollars a year or less. Those people are going to get their taxes doubled. But he wants to fight for the people up on the top to get, you know, they want to get paid. He wants them to have their keep their tax breaks. And the reasoning he gives Tom is that, well, you know, the reason why we're going to do this is because the tax cuts for the poor, they haven't worked. Yeah. First of all, kind of how would you fucking know? You know, the tax cuts on the poor haven't really been that deep. You know, I don't know about you, Cecil, but there was never a time where I looked at my paycheck and it went up dramatically because of a lowering of taxes.

So I think that's what you want to do is you want to say, hey, middle class, I don't really give a shit about you. What I want is money from millionaires. And the only way I'm going to get money from millionaires to run my budget is to keep their taxes lower. for millionaires to run my budget is to keep their taxes lower. How anybody can suggest that millionaires should have a lower tax rate than the middle class and look you in the eye with a straight face? That's insane to me. That's outrageous. And he's saying the same thing.

The only thing that he said, he opposes the president's proposal to require millionaires to pay the same tax rate as the middle class. Why would just tell me why if I have to pay it, why don't they have to pay it? Well, why? They need the money less than I do. It means less to them. They're not hurting as badly as other people as the middle class are. They're not going to them. They're not hurting as badly as other people, as the middle class are. They're not going to save. They're not going to spend that money. They're just going to save it anyway.

Right. The difference between me and a millionaire getting a tax cut is I use that money to pay my mortgage. He does not use that money to pay his mortgage. There's the difference. There's the difference between me and a millionaire getting a tax cut. And he even says right here, he's like, he argues that the policy has already failed to provide a sufficient boost to the economy. What the fuck? We've been given fucking millionaires a tax cut since Bush got in office.

That money, I don't see a fucking significant job increase, douchebag. Where's the jobs? You know, you give these people, well, we have to cut the taxes on these millionaires so they can create jobs. Well, they had fucking ample time in the last 10 years to create plenty of fucking jobs. I don't see the plenty of jobs. Where are the plenty of jobs that they could be creating? What is hindering them from creating said jobs? Cecil, how many job offers have you had today?

I was walking. I was walking. And Jesus, I couldn't. I had to beat him away with a stick. There was so many fucking offers. I know. Right. Every day I wake up in the morning and it's like, oh, fucking inbox is full of job offers again.

I got to turn them down. No, thank you very much. You know, I appreciate it. But that's crazy, right? That's crazy. And it just doesn't make any sense. You know, it's pandering. There's no other way to get from here to there.

It's just pandering. You're saying like, hey, guys, guys, I really want your money. Fuck the middle class. They don't donate to my campaign anyway. What this really says, at least this is what I think it says, is that the American people are the most uninformed type of voters. They're the type of people that will get a tax increase from the government and then watch a political commercial because that's how you pay for political commercials is you get giant fucking funding and a political commercial that, you know, doubt like dogs the opponent and talks about how great this person is and they'll vote based on that. that the money – because the Republican Party, the GOP, we're talking about 40 percent of America here, about 40 percent. There's about 40 percent, 40 percent split, the Democrats, and then you got 40 percent of the GOP.

I guarantee you that 40 percent of the GOP is not people that are making over $106,000 a year. It's just not fucking possible. So those people – It's not. We wouldn't have an economic crisis. Those people are getting fucked by their own party. And are they going to continue voting for a party that keeps claiming about no, no new taxes? Oh, we want to cut taxes. We want to cut taxes as they raise taxes. Are you going to vote for them again? Because I think, I think this is a clear indication that they are not out for your best interests. All they are out for is to get a fucking payday so they could put out a shitty fucking political commercial to get your dumb ass to vote for them again. So Cecil, I want to talk about a story.

This is from CNN's Belief blog. This is a story that was sent to us by one of our listeners posted on our page, and it discusses the Christian crusade against pornography. First of all, I think you'd have a better time of a crusading against very nearly anything else. Right? Like you're you're crusading against things. People fucking, you know what I mean? Like you're crusading.

You may as well have a crusade against orange juice. I like, I'm not going to stop drinking orange juice. You know, I think your hit counts just alone. We'll tell you about the popularity of pornography. Let's see. Everyone has access to the internet. Internet is rife with porn. Rife with porn. Rife with porn.

Pretty much it's just porn and politics. Pretty much. That's the whole Internet. If you took out politics and porn from the Internet, there would be like three sites about horses. Like that would be it. Pretty soon our country is going to be run by a girl dressed as an Asian schoolgirl. I mean, it's going to happen. It's going to be run by a girl dressed as an Asian schoolgirl. I mean, it's going to happen. It's going to happen eventually.

But, you know, this talks about, you know, it sort of suggests that there's a growing movement in the Christian community to attack pornography. I have a hard time actually believing that this is going to gain any real traction. First of all, the Christians have had a crusade against sexuality in general since the beginning of the Christians, right? This isn't anything new.

I mean, America itself was founded in part on a group of sexually intolerant Christians. That's why we always joke here in America about, you know, the prudish attitudes of Americans towards sex. It all relates back to our ridiculous Christian heritage. Yeah, Puritans. I mean, come on. Right. The very name itself. Like a Puritanical. Actually, the name's kind of hot. I'll be honest. I mean, I think the name's a little hot. Okay. One of the things about this article, which I thought was, you know, just, just weird, just downright weird is there's fucking software out there that you could install in your computer. And every time you're, you

direct a website to a pornography site, it sends an email to somebody, whoever's listed. So my suspicion is, is that the wife would install this or the husband would install this so they could monitor who's going to porn sites and basically sends an email to that person and says, hey, so-and-so went to fucking chickswithdicks.com. So I just think it's kind of scary. Like, it's a really terrifying idea to, like, be like, well, see exactly where you went today and see that you went to these five sites. Suddenly you would change. I think you would change your porn habits at that point.

You would be like, you know what? I'm really only going to go to what people think I like, not what I actually like. Right, because you're going to get caught. You're going to be caught like, oh, it's just conventional shit. That's all I was looking at. I wasn't. Just regular old, you know, just she was standing there, arms at her side, head up, chin up. I was not looking at rape or choking porn.

I swear. I swear I wasn't looking at that. I accidentally clicked on a link. I just didn't know what was there. It just said girl gets banged and I clicked it. I wasn't looking at that. I accidentally clicked on a link. I just didn't know what was there. It just said girl gets banged and I clicked it. I didn't know. Accidentally clicked on the links. Excuse did not work.

You know, this is, you know, this article is so bizarre because it, you know, whenever they're talking to these people who are involved in, you know, like the pastors and the people who are involved in trying to, like, cure themselves of their interest in sexuality. You know, they constantly are confusing pornography with masturbation, with sex, with prostitution. It's like you've got to unpack this and and realize that pornography is different than prostitution which is different than sexuality which is different than masturbation and that you know if you've got some kind of an issue with pornography and you've got an issue with prostitution you have two issues right you don't have one issue because they're not the same thing. And one thing does not, you know, lead into the other thing with surety, right? You know, like if you get pornography, you don't automatically go get prostitutes. And if you masturbate, it doesn't mean that you get pornography.

And, you know, I mean, yeah, if you look at pornography, you probably masturbate. But, you know, in the whole thing. Unless you're really frustrated. You're just like, look at it. Unless you're like, I can't look at it anymore. Why am I doing this to myself day after day after day? It's a terrible decision. I'm so uncomfortable all the time.

But it's like this crusade against sexuality is really what it all boils down to. It really is. These people are so scared of themselves, so terrified of their desires, so sure because of this misguided religious nonsense that their feelings that be stirring downstairs are so uncomfortable to them that they have to externalize that onto everybody else.

If it makes me nervous, it must be bad. Like if it's if it makes me nervous, it's it must be bad. And if it's bad, it's bad for you and it's bad for me and it's bad for everyone. Nobody look at a penis. Oh, my God. What I don't understand is how people just how you could get this far in society. And people will be like, well, you know, guys, they're just not going to masturbate. Like that thing has its own internal fucking pressure valve release. It's own. It'll do it on its own.

If you let it go, it'll just blow up on its own. So what are you thinking? Like, and this guy in this article in the very beginning is like, well, ain't jerked it in a while. You're like, well, good for you, dude. Yeah, I know. He's on his second week at the time of the article. Like, look, there was a Seinfeld episode about this. You know, two weeks.

Come on now. Just because you ain't Petr Chubby in two weeks doesn't mean anything. OK. It didn't solve the problem. Call me a year when you're lying to me. You know, part of this says it's like a gateway drug. He says you can't just have a little look. If you look at porn, you've already given your heart and spirit away to someone who isn't your wife.

No, that's that's nonsense. I'm sorry. That's fucking nonsense. Looking at porn doesn't mean you don't love your loved ones anymore. Like, that's just not that's just not true. I don't know what your fucking spirit is, but when you give your spirit away into the Kleenex, you'll make more fucking spirits. The spirit continues to make whether or not you release it or not. And that's really the heart of the matter is that if you look at somebody else, you don't love your loved ones. That's ridiculous.

And it doesn't make any sense. Like that's like saying I can only find one person in the world who's attractive. And that's it. I can't find anybody else attractive. So Salma Hayek comes on TV. I'm like, God, that bitch is ugly. She's nothing compared to you, honey. Like what?

Who's fucking? I'm lying to her and me. Yeah, who's kidding who? You're lying to yourself then. You're saying, you know, like, you can't appreciate beauty? You can't appreciate somebody else's, you know, the way they look? We're sexual beings, man. Like, why did God do that to us then?

If your God exists, he's a fucking asshole. You're not cheating on salad when you eat a pork chop, right? That's nonsense. That's silly. You're saying like, oh man you eat a pork chop, right? That's nonsense. That's silly. It's not saying like, oh, man, you don't love salad enough. Like you ate a pork chop. It's like, look, let's not pretend we're something other than what we are. You want to fast track to divorce? Then bury all of your sexual feelings and never acknowledge it.

You want to make sure that you have a fucking dysfunctional sexual and emotional relationship with your spouse. Then great. Then make sure that you never talk about sex, that you never acknowledge sexual desires. If you're going to do that, then you're just asking for trouble, you know, because you're not giving yourself any sort of outlet to be realistic about who you are and about what you want and about the things that sort of turn your crank, man. It's your wife's not going to appreciate that in the long term when you're, you know, not getting something that you want and you're afraid to say it and you're attracted to other

people and you're filled with this sort of self-loathing. And so you go out and you do this terrible thing that you wouldn't have otherwise done. And oh, my God, it's such a big deal for both of you now because you don't have a language with which to communicate with each other. Well, take away pornography from this guy, right? Don't tell me he's not going to be looking at other people in the same way. He's not going to be watching for that nip slip in the fucking movie or the side boob. You know what I mean? Like, like, like, trust me, this guy, this person who's, who's not like consuming pornography or looking at, you know, naked pictures or looking at a, you know, Scarlett Johansson's

leaked nude pics on the web, you know, those, he's not looking at that stuff. He's going to be watching, you know, um, Angelina Jolie and kind of a racy movie or he's going to be he's going to be, you know, slowing the screen down at a certain point. You know what I mean? Like he's going to find other ways. There's a there's a great bit on this American life where this guy who's an evangelical talks about how he went away to college and how he didn't masturbate. He didn't he wound up trying not to masturbate and he wound up never, you know, get consuming any pornography or even looking at a playboy or anything while he was away. And he said he would walk around like a, like just a total letch, just walking around trying to catch, you know, a moment of a girl's thigh or a, you know, a nip slip or just even just cleavage just to, just to get something to look at. So, you know, yeah, I guess you could be a fucking

creep then. I mean, like, what are your choices? you know, yeah, I guess you could be a fucking creep then. You know what I mean? Like, what are your choices? You know, like, you're not going to shut your biology off. I don't care how hard you try, you can't shut that shit off. Sure. You prove it when the people come out and they fucking blow up his gaze like that fucking pastor, that Ted Haggard. You know what I mean?

Like, he can't shut his biology off either. And, you know, he got fucking crystal meth and a fucking tranny hooker to prove that. Call me when you can pray away hunger or thirst or desire not to be cold. Right. You know, when you can do that, when you can look me in the eye and say, well, God doesn't want me to be hungry, so I'm not hungry. Nonsense. Yeah. Utter nonsense.

All you're doing is depriving yourself and hurting yourself and hurting your relationship with other people and like you said you're going to make a fucking lech out of yourself because you have no fucking outlet sure you're just going to fucking walk around with your fucking tongue hanging out like that guy like that wolf from the fucking cartoons when we were kids

his eyeballs go booga booga booga and he's just like yeah you just can be that wolf guy that's it you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth so cecil i think the way to end this story the only appropriate i know um and the only way to happening i don't know what's happening i don't either i'm gonna read this whole story again. It's a short story. I think this is my favorite story of the week because I don't understand anything about it. Gordon Ramsay's dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in Badger Den. A dwarf porn star who was Gordon Ramsay's double has been found dead in the most bizarre of circumstances, according to UK tabloid The Sunday Sport.

Percy Foster's three-foot, six-inch body was discovered in a badger den in Wales. I don't believe this story. I am done. I'm sure it's nonsense. Yeah. The report says the 35-year-old was found deep in an underground chamber by Ministry of Agriculture experts ahead of a planned badger gassing program investigators have not ruled out the possibility of suicide by badger in a recent interview foster spoke of his excitement about his growing career as ramsay's double porn lookalikes get more money than normal actors dwarf lookalikes are as rare as hen's teeth

and so can command a top dollar i've already ordered a new bmw and a diamond encrusted soda stream he said what the scary thing is he does kind of look like. He looks totally like Gordon Ramsay. He totally looks like a little person Ramsay. I mean, he really does. One thing I want to ask, though. Let's say you're consuming some pornography and you're like, you know what? Let's get our midget porn on here. Right.

Why are you choosing that craggy-faced Gordon Ramsay to fucking look at? Why would he be even remotely... I mean, look at the guy. He looks like he's got fucking crevices on his face. He's got like four hatchet wounds on his forehead. He looks like he has scarring on his fucking chin.

He has a giant cut-up face. You look at the guy and you're like, well, why would I ever even think that that guy would even remotely have his – I would never have a sexual thought about Gordon Ramsay ever. That's the thing that's so bizarre, right? Like to buy this guy's porn. We just got done talking about porn.

What has to – you got to be sitting there like, God, I love fucking midget dwarf little person porn. And nothing is as hot as – like, imagine, oh, God, the sacred, the holiest of holies would be if there was a midget Gordon Ramsay. Click. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. This never happened. Oh, my God.

And then this guy is found in a badger den? A badger den? It's not real. How guy is found in a badger den? A badger den? It's not real. How do you get into a badger den? It's not even real. They're making it up. What is happening with this story? They're making it up.

That's what's happening. They're using their imagination. Who's sitting around, you know, like super, I'm going to kill myself. That's what I'm going to do. That's the, you know, I could hang gonna kill myself that's what i'm gonna do that's the you know i could hang myself i could shoot myself i could crawl deep into a badger den to be eaten alive by vicious mammals deep underground that who's decided that's the that's the ticket that in order for this story to be true so many deeply unlikely things have to be evident right everything about like everything about everything has to be wrong right i love this

story so much and we did get some email. We got an email from Tom. Tom sent us a, we're going to go ahead and throw the link for this up on our site. Tom sent us a very cool beat poem. It's about a nine-minute beat poem. And it's actually very cool. It's very funny. It's by Tom Minchin, who's a skeptical atheist comedian musician. The guy needs more labels, first of all.

But we'll put it on there. I think this is actually definitely worth nine minutes of your time. And Tom, we thank you very much for sending it to us. We also got an email from Dumbass. Dumbass sent us a – Dumbass' website, by the way, is dumbassguide.info. And he runs a skeptical website. And he also has a skeptical podcast. So you can find that at dumbestguy.info.

He sent us a – it was – I watched this whole video, Tom. And it's the Westboro Baptist Church made a music video called – instead of, you know, like that We Are the World song, that we are the world, that song. They did God Hates the World song, that we are the world, that song. They said God hates the world. And I watched it. And wow, you're right. God does hate the world. Like, you know, I can you watch the interspersed cuts of those people and the people singing it and the sort of joy they have on their face when they're talking about the things that they're talking about, you can't imagine they're not trolls. Like you watch it and you're like, are you guys really serious?

Yeah. I think the Westboro Baptist Church, in about two years, they're just going to Rick Roll all of us. Never going to rickroll all of us. Never gonna give you up! They're just going to be like, we fucking got you! It's going to be great. Until that time, they're the craziest

thing going. They really are. My favorite thing about the lyrics, though, is where it said, God hates the world and all her people yeah so it's mother earth mother earth you're doing god wrong again recently tom and i found out we were on the what's hot portion of uh of the religion other on itunes and that one of the top ones, one of the top podcasts is Druidcast. I would think that they would refer to the earth as her too on Druidcast.

Maybe we should suggest to the Westboro Baptist church, like here's something you may enjoy. The Druidcast. The Druidcast. I know that I listen. Now I listen to that podcast I dance around my Stonehenge I've got one in the backyard

It's only 22 inches tall though It's supposed to be 22 feet tall But it's really only 22 inches tall He had to hire a Gordon Ramsay midget lookalike To dance around it I'm used to shrinking things down It's So is she

Hey hey What I want to say though about this is So is she. Hey, hey. What I want to say, though, about this is God, and they say God hates the world, you know, and he know he hates you and all this stuff. I mean, if you really, really, really believe this, that God actually hated you. I mean, how do you even get to fucking point B here? I don't get it. I really don't get. And that's why I think they're trolls.

That's why I think they're trolls. But I can't be sure. But I do think they're trolls. Thank you, dumbass, for sending that in. We really appreciate it. We also got hit by a bunch of Twitter followers in the recent couple days. And they've been reposting our links. And they've also been sort of just sending using our links. And, um, they've

also been sort of just sending a shout out. It's like, Hey, thanks for, uh, you know, thanks for the podcast or we liked the podcast. Uh, thanks for listening, everybody. And we really appreciate it. And, uh, if you could spread the word in some ways, you know, there's plenty of ways in which you could do it and we're very happy whenever anybody does it. So we want to thank those people who spread the word about the podcast whenever they get a chance. Well, it looks like we've come to the end of another episode, Tom, and we're going to leave everybody, as always, with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil

and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox

reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls big, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double speak, stigmata, nonsense. double-speak stigmata nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this.

Thank you for listening to Cognitive Dissonance. If you want to reach us by phone, you can call us at 740-743-6828. That's 740-74-DOUBT. Long distance rates apply. Send us an email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter at dissonance underscore pod. you