Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 132: Fine Crafted Amish Ranting

Episode Date: January 6, 2014

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Daddy Junior, this is your wife speaking. Get to the pickup and plug in your cellular phone. Them city counselors in Aurora, Colorado have been calling and calling and calling down here to the double wide. They need your help. Now I know they all prayed at you when they got up this morning and they prayed at you some more every dang time they sat down to food. And they prayed about the Broncos and about keeping them Colorado stoners from turning gay. But they need your help running the city. Every single time they have
Starting point is 00:00:46 a council meeting, they need to get a hold of you, but quick. Right after they punch in on the clock, they have to talk to you. Not a one of them can get a lick of work done until they do. Them city councilors need to know which ones of the snow routes to plow, so them their ambulances can get all the people you let get hurt to them doctors. If in you aren't going to make them more blood the way you made that noisy lady more spaghetti that time, them ambulances just got to get through. Now, this last thing is important, Dada Jr. Here's what them their elected officials forgot to tell ya. When you're playing around with them cars,
Starting point is 00:01:30 crashing them together, which I know you love to do, never, ever, ever crash them into them Lycra folks what ride those fancy bicycles. Now skin that catfish and get on home. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.
Starting point is 00:02:40 It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this is episode 132. The big fucking grumpy episode. That's what this is. Grumpy dumpling episode. Fucking Oscar the Grouch episode of cognitive dissonance. Just putting the fire out with my cognitive dissonance beer right now. putting the fire out with my cognitive dissonance beer right now so and that is that is the beer that we brewed while we were uh slogging our way through an eggnog tasting yeah yeah half of that
Starting point is 00:03:13 day was worthwhile and it was not the eggnog tasting yeah we got a we got a beer out of the whole thing things and it's very tasty it's actually a quite a good beer so i'm gonna enjoy that while you uh while you tell people about stuff and i'm just gonna laugh just gonna sit back and just like hey he's doing that look at him look at that guy go he's going look at him go i wouldn't want to step in there and ruin his day by the way before we get under the stories we wanted to mention that we're in the stitcher awards this year so if you're following us on a social media uh be that twitter or facebook or even google plus i posted it to google plus today and then like people are
Starting point is 00:03:58 like i don't use facebook no it's like well you basically posted it to the contrarian page. Yeah, right. And I get it. I get it, too. It's cool. I get it, too. The thing is, is we are currently in the running in the society and culture portion of the Stitcher Awards for best podcast in society and culture. And right now we're going up against, what was it, Tom? We figured it out.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Every single one of them, except for Dan Carlin, is a published like radio, either by public radio or like a major radio station, puts this thing out. You know, so we are the little fish that could here. Is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:04:44 Is there a little fish that could? Maybe. Because I fucking, I want to watch that show. I think it's probably there's a little fish that could. I don't know. What is the little fish trying to do? He's trying to swim up a fucking waterfall. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:04:56 This is like a bear. This is the perfect analogy. There's a bear there, and he's like, he's got to swim past the swiping hands and go mate and die. That's what the little fish that could is going to do. In any case, we are the little guy. What is it? Little thing that could watch him. Who's it that could?
Starting point is 00:05:14 We just, you know, the thing is, we're up against these huge shows. So the only way to gain ground on those shows is for people to vote every day. And I know people are going to be like, fucking who fucking cares that you're in the state? We care. Like that's the thing, the guys who make the podcast care. So we care that we're in the Stitcher Awards. So that answers your first question.
Starting point is 00:05:33 So what we would love for you to do is if you have a Facebook account, go and go to our page, dissonancepod.com. This is episode 132. Go to episode 132 and there is a link to this Stitcher Awards there. Click on it, and it'll take you to the Stitcher Awards, where the second to last category, society and cultures at the bottom. Understand, too, that Skeptoid is on here under best science and medicine. Skeptoid's also on there under best educational and learning.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Radiolab, which I'm a huge fan of, is on there a couple times. But they don't need my fucking vote. They probably don't need yours. But Skeptic's Guide to the Universe as well is on there under Most Original Show. All of those podcasts are done by independent people. I mean we're just independent people. We don't have Kevin Smith's money backing us or NPR's reach. We're just people. I mean, we're just independent people. We're not, we don't have Kevin Smith's money backing us or NPR's, you know, reach. We just, we're just people. We're just a couple of dudes that record in their houses and it would be awesome if we could compete with them. The only
Starting point is 00:06:35 way that's going to happen is if you vote early and vote often. And we're hoping that you vote for us. We're actually going to do a little incentive here, Tom, just to make sure that people do get out there and vote. The first incentive is if we win, we will do four extra episodes in a two month time. So that means that in two months. Is that an incentive or a punishment? It's a punishment. I think actually we're actually, you know, we're punishing these people for doing it, but we will do four extra episodes if we win in a two-month time span. So that would mean there would be six episodes a month instead of the normal four, which is monthly. We normally do about four a month. Depending on the month, we would do two extra per month. I don't know if that's incentive to make you vote. Here's another incentive to make
Starting point is 00:07:20 you vote. If you vote, take a screen capture of it with the date. So you would have to screen capture it. When you vote, it says you voted for cognitive dissonance as best society and culture. Remember to vote once a day and make sure to share with your friends. And there's a share your vote on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. If you take a screenshot of that page or you take a screenshot of you sharing it on Facebook and Twitter and send it to us, you have to put under the title, you have to put Stitcher Awards. Two words, Stitcher Awards.
Starting point is 00:07:51 So what do we put in the title? I am going to run a, I got to run a Gmail like fucking thing on it. So it actually like a filter on it. So it actually finds these and puts them in a box. It's going to put them all separately. So we're going to have a bunch of these screenshots. If you vote every day, you get to send us one every day. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:08:08 At the end of the thing, whether we win or lose, we're going to be giving T-shirts to people who voted. So if you want a T-shirt, two T-shirts, we're going to give two out. Send us a picture of you voting. You enter the contest. Send us a picture every day. You enter the contest every day. You picture every day, you enter the contest every day. You get a chance to win a Cognitive Dissonance t-shirt. We're going to give out two
Starting point is 00:08:30 randomly selected from the people who voted. So more you vote, the better chance you get. So send us the screenshots to dissonance.podcast.gmail.com. The title has to be Stitcher Awards. Now it can be in all caps not caps whatever i think i don't think it's going to matter cap i don't think caps is sensitive but stitcher space awards has to be the title of the email and you will be entered into a contest to win a shirt and we will hopefully motivate you this way to vote for us we are shamelessly willing to trade money at this point for votes. I mean, fucking, we got to call up like Daily in Chicago to figure out.
Starting point is 00:09:10 This is a very Chicago sort of a strategy. It is. This is electioneering at its finest. I feel quite at home with this system. This is how they do it around here. Forget about it, huh? I feel quite at home with this system. This is how they do it around here.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Forget about it, huh? So when we randomly select them, C-Song, we didn't talk about this yet, but does that mean we get to spend our cognitive dissonance funds on one of those ping pong air machines like they have for the lotto? Yes. Because I want one. Of course. I don't know why I want one, but I really, really want one of those things. I want to dip my balls in it.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Because if I had that, every decision in my household would be made by randomizing a series of ping pong balls. Oh, yeah. That would be awesome. Where are we going? We're going to B21 tonight for dinner, honey. B21. What do we get on the pizza? First one is, oh, anchovies and pineapple. Okay, not a winner, not a winner, but the balls don't lie.
Starting point is 00:10:11 So there we go. And what to drink? Ooh, eggnog. Oh, it's always coming up with that. Who put the eggnog ball in there? Balls. Right? Somebody's stacking the deck against us you know it's funny because in our email cecil
Starting point is 00:10:27 somebody suggested that we uh drink horchata instead of eggnog like as a tasty alternative and i'm like well i mean i like horchata horchata is good it tastes like cereal milk right it's awesome it's i think it's delicious i think think it's stupid delicious. It's frightening how fast I can drink horchata, too. Like if they get like one of the big like 32 ounce styrofoam cups of horchata, that's like a frigajillion calories of horchata. It's like what it tastes like to me is if you took like like a cookie crisp, vanilla cookie crisp, I know, ate all the cereal out of it. And then you just had like the cookie crisp vanilla cookie crisp i know ate all the cereal out of it and then you just had like the cookie crisp or like cinnamon toast crunch or something right and then like that's what's left over is this is the milk in the bowl after cinnamon toast crunch you know non-americans
Starting point is 00:11:15 are sitting there like with their fucking health cereals like this is why america's fat like you have described two cereals the first one is cookie crisp you know what you gotta do is you have described two cereals. The first one is cookie crisp. You know what you got to do is you have to use that as the milk on the cereal. Oh, my God. Fucking horchata milk would be the greatest thing ever. You would be like enriching plutonium. Oh, my God. That's crossing the streams, man. I don't know if you can do that.
Starting point is 00:11:44 That'd be like, I mean, you open up a fucking rift to another dimension. God damn, that sounds, you know what? Horchata fucking ice cream would be rock solid. Yeah, that would be very good. I don't know why we're talking about Horchata. Now I really want Horchata. Fuck the show. Let's dish this thing and get some tacos and horchata. Allah, Akbar, Akbar, Allah, Akbar, Allahu, Akbar, just little Allah.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Thank you, Chicago. So our first story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. Woman charged with blasphemy in revenge for refusing arranged marriage but cecil it gets kind of weirder from there um she is really charged with blasphemy for criticizing the blasphemy laws that's blasphemy right don't like blasphemy that's a blaspheman what is it okay well hold on i've got to get the definition of blasphemy up the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about god or sacred things so saying that you don't like blasphemy is saying is blaspheming i guess because you're saying you don't like
Starting point is 00:13:00 sacred things uh fuck that is like the most overreaching. But there's no way to protest it. Right. What are you supposed to say? The moment there's a blasphemy law, you're fucked. Because you can never, ever, ever, ever protest it. You can't even, if you brought it up as like, you know, as a senator, let's say, in their culture and like in their prime minister or whatever they have, you know, like one of those people who is going to make a law, let's say, in their culture and like in their prime minister or whatever they
Starting point is 00:13:25 have, you know, like one of those people who is going to make a law, right? You bring it up. You could get blasphemy charged. And it is noted in the article at the bottom, blasphemy convictions in Pakistan can mean a death sentence. You could fucking kill your lawmaker. You can't even protest your own conviction without it being blasphemous. Right? Like, if somebody arrested you on charges of blasphemy, you'd have to agree with it.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Yeah. In order to not continue to blaspheme. Like, especially if you have a religious court like if you have like a like like one of these crazy courts like the fucking kangaroo courts in saudi arabia right where it's just like the fucking point you know the laws are made up of the points don't matter and like you get the fucking high priest of voodoo or whatever who's making the decisions about which body parts are going to get cut off this week you know and that person is like well according to the quran you're fucked and you're like i disagree well okay fine fucking yeah now you're double fucked you want to continue to disagree because we'll fuck you every way you can be fucked it's like it's like uh
Starting point is 00:14:39 whatever his name is i want to say his name was bender from uh from breakfast club and he's like he's like that's another detention he's like so that's another detention so that's another you know and then the the other party in this story decides that she doesn't want to get married like her fucking family sets up an arranged marriage and she's like ah i don't like that i'd rather not be married to that person like oh it's blasphemy like no that's decision making like yeah but you're no but no it is it's it's blasphemy though because you're you're speaking sacrilegiously about god or sacred things and to them the you know the fucking roulette wheel of marriage is fucking perfectly fine they're just like oh we like that and god likes it and god doesn't like you
Starting point is 00:15:31 in the name of jesus we speak that So this story comes from ABC News. Amish girl with leukemia and her family flee the U.S. to avoid chemotherapy. A 10-year-old Amish girl with leukemia, it's pretty much what it sounds like, they fucking left the country to seek alternatives to chemotherapy. The alternatives are fucking herbs and spices. It's a secret blend, though. It's a secret blend. The problem is that they're not allowed.
Starting point is 00:16:24 The Amish, they don't allow themselves a lot of stuff, right? though it's a secret blood it's you know the problem is that they're not allowed the amish are you know they don't allow themselves a lot of stuff right so right they're not allowed the colonel's chicken no you can't get the colonel's chicken and they're and they're very worried because they'll never know you know they can't even start to be like piece it out like is there oregano is that yeah I can't tell what. And they're really angry because they're allowed to have buckets, just no chicken. Yeah. And what's the point of a bucket if you're not filling it with fried chicken?
Starting point is 00:16:54 If you can't fill it with chicken, then there's no point of owning a bucket. I actually don't understand why you would have a bucket if it doesn't involve fried chicken. Yeah. What the fuck would you do in this day and age? Nothing. You would do nothing with it. With a bucket. Fill it with ranch dressing. That's the only other thing you would do with it.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Like a bucket? Like, does it have a straw in it? Is it full of horchata? Is it full of horchata? I'm going to dunk my face in it. Because if it's not, I have no fucking interest in your bucket. You know, the thing that weirds me out about this is if they're fleeing, can't you just drive up and catch them in their buggy?
Starting point is 00:17:22 I mean, like, how fast can you flee? No kidding, right? Like, go on dancer on dasher on, like, really? Yeah, I mean, if they had Rudolph with them, then they're fucked. And then you better call air traffic control. But other than that, it's a buggy, my friend. Plus, the news is reporting that they're leaving. You know what I mean? They just be like, all points bulletin, be on the lookout for a buggy. my friend. Plus the news is reporting that they're leaving. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:45 You know what I mean? All points bulletin. Be on the lookout for a buggy. Yeah. That's real easy. It's a lot easier than saying all points built to be on the lookout for a Camry. We're looking for a gun metal gray Camry. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:17:59 We'll never find it. We will fucking never find it. Yeah. Just fucking let that Amber alert go, man. Just fucking see. I'll fucking have another kid. Yeah, just fucking let that Amber Alert go, man. Yeah, just fucking see it. I'll fucking have another kid. What are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:18:09 Are you kidding me? No. That's impossible. You know, and where are you going to flee that is like a better safe haven for the Amish than America? Like what country are you going to go to as an Amish person? Like, whoa, we fled the religious persecution of America
Starting point is 00:18:31 where the Amish are the... I don't even think there's Amish anywhere else. No matter where you go in the world, everybody's going to know you're American because you're dressed like Abe Lincoln. I know! Like, let's fucking honest, Abe. You know they have their own language?
Starting point is 00:18:48 No, they don't. They do. No, they don't. Yes, it's like a, it's not a language so much as it's a dialect. It's like a, they're like glued together like some Dutch and some English and some, yeah, it's like fucking parcel tongue, dude. It's crazy. You can speak to snakes with that shit.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Oh, that's good stuff. We read a little bit about the Amish earlier, and they said that they can't have alternating current, but they can have 12-volt car batteries, I guess? Well, that makes sense, because direct current is more dangerous than alternating current. So if you're going to have something, you want to make sure you have the more dangerous than alternating current so if you're gonna have something sure you want to make sure you have the more dangerous they can't they can't even come close to a tesla coil like they cannot even come near a tesla coil right they have a fucking vandegraaff generator in the barn like with their hair is fucking standing on edge like well look at me it's like every day is the museum of science and industry when you go visit the amish it's awesome blacksmiths
Starting point is 00:19:46 are you kidding me view the wonders of static electricity we don't know how this works it's probably the devil i i love a people who purposely regress themselves and and call that a viable lifestyle right like the amish i think are the most ridiculous of like all the men and all of those fucking idiots like all the non-zippers idiots listen to you i you are surly tonight my friend you are just a surly individual i had a beer to cut temper my fucking uh well i know you need to get one i need to get one that's why we take a break halfway through this show so this girl cecil has um she has leukemia and leukemia is like one of the like oh shit i have cancer but it's leukemia so you'll probably be okay cancers it's not like pancreatic cancer right where it's like you may as well just have the colonel's chicken, you know, because that's called the last meal.
Starting point is 00:20:47 It's it's a bad deal. It's just like a fucking raw ass deal. But like the 10 year old. So she's got she's got leukemia. It's sad. It sucks. You know, nobody wants a 10 year old girl. She's got tumors and shit.
Starting point is 00:20:57 She's not me. She's not. It's not like fucking. It's like she's not well. Yeah. Yeah. She's not well. But the solution is not to like like, go rub some fucking ginseng on her. Like, that's not the fucking solution.
Starting point is 00:21:10 When you have to flee, like, just, like, run away. I don't even understand how anybody figured out that this girl from this Amish culture even has. Well, they took her to a doctor when she was, like, all fucked up. It's kind of amazing they did that, though, isn't it? Well, they're like, we're going to have to do that, though, isn't it? Like we're going to have to like work on her. And they're like, no, we're going to do that. They say here specifically, I quote the person, the father said, our belief is in the natural stuff we do just as much as the stuff. If it's God's will, what does it even mean? Our belief is in the natural stuff we do just as much as that stuff. If it is God's will. I don't know. I can't make sense of that. But in any case, that's what he said.
Starting point is 00:21:51 So when you look at that, just cut off everything but God's will at the end, and that'll tell you exactly what's happening here, is they think that this is God's will. And we talked about it before, you and I, we had this conversation where we said, look, we can't put ourselves in the position where we think I would be willing to neglect a loved one's health because I think that a God would want them to die. But other people can get there. And we've had it explained to us many different ways that there's a way to get there. And I think that that's just the mindset that these people are in. They're like, they think that this is, this is, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:25 God's will. And it's, it's, it's okay that they're going to, if they, if they lose the child, they're going to be okay with it. If they didn't do anything about it,
Starting point is 00:22:32 they're going to sleep just fine. I don't think that they should, but they're going to sleep just fine. I mean, those raise a barn in morning and call it a night, right? Sure. Fuck it.
Starting point is 00:22:41 It's they'll shit out another kid. They got a million of them. Anyhow, a bunch of goofy ass people with bad teeth wandering the hills of pennsylvania that the you really gotta hate on i don't like the amish man i think it's fucking lunatic it'd be like if all of a sudden somebody was like yeah for religious purposes i'm gonna live like a paleolithic person and all of my friends and family are gonna fucking run around and pretend we're fucking cave people.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And we're going to fucking drink water straight from creeks and get dysentery and fucking poop a lot. And we're just going to throw spears at fucking deer in the woods. And cars, right? And cars. Because you don't recognize them. You wouldn't recognize them as a thing. We're going to ook and ack at things. And we're going to barely start fire that we can't control i mean it's just like why would you do
Starting point is 00:23:30 that it and and the fact that you know the thing that that kind of irks me is they take this girl to the doctor and the doctor's like here you should take fucking chemotherapy and then they start her on the chemotherapy and she gets sick because chemotherapy like it has fucking side effects there's a has fucking side effects there's a lot of side effects someone would just suck real bad like i'm not downplaying that and then that's why they bail on it they bail on it and they're like oh we're gonna go back to the fucking colonel's secret recipe instead well you fucking already took her to the hospital in the first place so you already recognize the value of western medicine. What you're doing, and this is what I think irks me so much, is what they're doing is they're creating a safe place where everybody around them forms a technological and social safety net so that they can play their fucking costume bullshit games within their little farming communities.
Starting point is 00:24:26 farming communities, knowing full well that if shit goes south, they can run over to the hospital that they've got nothing to do with, that they're not a part of the society, that they criticize the society, that they remain outside of that society, and yet they'll take advantage of everything that society has to offer, be it cars or western medicine or whatever, you know, when it suits their fucking purposes they treat the they treat the the larger world like a an inc like a convenience that they still thumb their fucking nose at you know what i mean it's like having a fucking wealthy neighbor that you fucking hate who loans you money to fix your car and you're still like i fucking still hate them them. It's like, well, fuck you. Stay poor and stupid then. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. So this story comes from Settle Today. St. Louis today? St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Four babies hemorrhage after parents refuse vitamin K shot. A practice on the rise. Well, that's a terrible practice to have on the rise. That should be a practice that is not on the rise.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Sure. But at least they're on the decline is what you'd like to hear. A practice which is marginalized for lunatics and they're they're refusing the vitamin k shot um toxicity they're just toxic this is yeah well yeah i mean there's there's toxic toxins and toxics yeah that's what people don't know is that the shot is actually administered. And this is, I mean, this is legitimate.
Starting point is 00:26:28 I've got a son. I was at the hospital. I remember this shot is administered by rattlesnakes. So they basically just make rattlesnakes bite infants like in the face. And that's why, that's why I scrawl like a K on the side and they just like hold the rattlesnake by its face. Do a search, though. Do a search, though, for vitamin K shot for newborns.
Starting point is 00:26:53 And the first thing that comes up is Mercola dot com. The high risk of vitamin K shot for your newborn baby. You know, that's a natural. That's that Joseph Mercola. That's a natural news site. Crap garbage. And that's the guy who's going to try to tell you that it's not safe to, you know, what a fucking degenerate you are to, cause you know, you know, the guy's gotta be, he's trying to build your trust in some way so he can sell you something. Right. And then let me
Starting point is 00:27:20 click on the fucking link and see if there's any fucking ads on the fucking page. Right. Let me see if anything on here is, Oh shit, there's three fucking ads on the page. What do you know? Right. Let me click on the fucking link and see if there's any fucking ads on the fucking page. Right. Let me see if anything on here is. Oh, shit. There's three fucking ads on the page. What do you know? Right. He's just trying to get he's just trying to get fucking ad revenue. You know what I mean? Or he's trying to get you to buy. I mean, call toll free. What am I calling toll free for free shipping? What for? You know what I mean? Like it's a fucking sales site. You're going to get your information from a sales site. Yep. You know, you might want to go to get your information from a sales site? Yep. You know, you might want to go to the government, you know, which is regulated. You might want to go there and just be like, hey, what does the CDC have to say?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Or whatever, whatever group you want to go find. Science-based medicine is the fifth link down. Oh, my God. The third link down is skip the vitamin K shot. The healthyhomeeconomist.com. The third link down on Google. The healthy home economist?com the third link down on google the healthy home economist yeah yeah that's where i'm gonna get my fucking advice from not from my goddamn doctor who's like the kids should have a fucking vitamin k shot because they have a wrench if they don't
Starting point is 00:28:16 right well the head the harm is is that they they believe that giving a child a baby some sort of shot that early is gonna fucking throw them all out of whack and make them all crazy and kooky and make their head all fucking pointy or something. Whatever it is that's going to happen to the baby, they're all fucking worried about it. Because really, you know, it's a delicate little thing. And when it's born and it looks okay, I mean, it comes out, it's a little squished, right? The head, especially if you do the whole natural thing where the fucking, it's a pincher sort of squeeze the head and it's like lizard looking or whatever, but they got the baby and it's relatively okay. There's nothing major wrong
Starting point is 00:28:54 with it. You pick it up. You're like, Hey, there's fucking color in it. It cries. It shits. It eats. It does all the things that a baby does. It looks fine. So when you say, well, we want to give it this vitamin K shot. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Baby's fine. Baby's fine. So when you say, well, we want to give it this vitamin K shot, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, baby's fine. Baby's fine. What are you doing? And be like, well, it's to prevent something which happens. They say it was like the percentage in here. I forget. I forget exactly what it was. It was like one up to one point seven percent of all births. And, you know, it's not an inconsiderable number you know right uh a newborn not getting the injection is 81 times more likely to get the late form of the disorder
Starting point is 00:29:30 than a baby who gets the shot according to the cdc so 81 times more likely is a bad thing yeah when you say like that it sounds high so but but you're holding it and it looks fine it's like oh it's fine it's fucking it's wrapped in its little fucking snuggly little fucking blanket that they wrap the baby. What do they call that? Swaddle the shit out of that little thing. And they're just like, you're like, hey, it's best OB. You're the fucking best bedside manner.
Starting point is 00:29:52 I would fucking tie that baby up like a fucking little tote bag. Let me tell you. But no, like, you know, it's like swaddled and you're holding it and you're like, hey, look at me. I got a baby and it's fine. So you don't want to fucking get the shot. And I can understand these people are like, well, it doesn't seem like it's going to hurt it. Nothing. It doesn't look like it's going to hurt it. Well, you know what? There are some things that you just can't prevent as a parent. You know, hugging it is not going to stop it from getting the measles. Loving it is not going to
Starting point is 00:30:16 stop it from getting this, this problem with the hemorrhaging. It doesn't have a lot of vitamin K in it. Vitamin K is going to help it. What's the fucking big deal? And, you know, I think the problem is that Google is just fucking sorting shit for people. And people are going like fucking McCarthy said. Going to the University of Google. Well, the University of Google is for fucking dummies is what it is. Because if you can't vet the information you see in those first four fucking things, all of them are equal value. or your mayor?" He said, where we're dating.
Starting point is 00:31:04 I said, well son, I'm going to give you some river rat counseling here. Make sure that she can cook a meal. You need to eat some meals that she cooks. Check that out. Make sure she carries her Bible. That'll save you a lot of trouble down the road, and if she picks your ducks, now that's a woman.
Starting point is 00:31:33 They got to where they're getting hard to find, mainly because these boys are waiting till they get to be about 20 years old before they marry them. Look, you wait till they get to be 20 years old the only picking that's gonna take place is your pocket you gotta marry these girls when they're about 15 or 16 they'll pick you up you need to check with mom and dad about that of course so cecil we we took something of a beating over our discussion of the Duck Dynasty dude. But he's back, so we're fucking back. Because I don't give no fucks.
Starting point is 00:32:12 This is from the Raw Story. Duck Dynasty star. Girls should carry a Bible, cook, and marry when they are 15. Well, there you go. I'm glad he's not saying anything crazy that would be nuts to hear if he was saying anything crazy it's just so amazing that somebody could say something so crazy and look so nice i mean the the camo and the long crazy fucking gnarled beard doesn't make you crazy enough you gotta say and you have a goddamn deer
Starting point is 00:32:46 head right next to you the entire time you're talking this weird like creepy taxidermy that's like right basically giving you a kiss it's that i bring now i don't fucking bag on that god damn it i bring taxidermy to animals everywhere i go everywhere i fill my fucking car with taxidermied animals everywhere I go. Everywhere. I fill my fucking car with taxidermied animals. It's how I ride in the carpool landing. I get pulled over. The fucking car has got like a fucking stuffed zebra. There's a bison in your backseat. I've got the fucking
Starting point is 00:33:16 moonroof down and a fucking giraffe sticking out of the thing. Oh, that's awesome. Actually, that would be fucking spectacular just driving around with a fucking taxidermy giraffe yeah head whipping in the wind it breaks off it's so funny this guy said a couple of stupid things um and you know he said a couple of stupid things before basically like fucking that blacks didn't get like the blacks were happy or whatever every black i met was happy back in the day, like before the, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:48 during the fucking olden times when there was fucking segregation, they were all like whistling Dixie, you know, whatever. And then he says, he says here, he says that they should be, you know, basically you should marry young because they won't fucking pick your birds is what he says. And I guess like'll pull the feathers out of your birds if you don't get to them young enough. I'm thinking, look, if you want an indentured servant, just fucking, you know, just, well, first you probably have to go to a different country. But you could certainly get somebody who's like practically a slave for you to pick the fucking feathers out of you. And you're fucking rich enough.
Starting point is 00:34:24 You could hire some disgruntled dude to do it for you. This guy makes enough money. He could hire a fully gruntled person to pick the fucking feathers out of some birds. It doesn't, you know, he says in here, you got to marry these girls and they're about 15 or 16. They'll pick your ducks. You need to check with mom and dad about that of course yeah no yeah you gotta get she's gotta get she's gotta get a permission slip right when you have to check with mom and dad because you're marrying their fucking child
Starting point is 00:34:55 who's still a child maybe you ought to revisit your standards a little yeah there was a reason why back in the day they used to ask the dad for the permission to marry. That's because they were really young. Right. Now when they're autonomous adults, you don't have to ask the permission of the fucking elder of the clan. You gotta present yourself to the council.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Give me a break. In supplication, like, and, oh, but I would like to marry the daughter of the fucking what? No, it's 2013. You're like, hey, you want to get married? Sure, let's get married. Then you go to Vegas and you get married. That's how it's done.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah, you just get married. It's ridiculous, this idea. I know, 15, can you imagine the idea of being like, oh, well, I'm 15, so, you know know i definitely like picking the feathers out of ducks you know what i like that guy so much i'll pick the feathers out of all his ducks for the rest of my life huh and i mean really that's like isn't that just saying if you marry her young enough she'll settle well she won't know any better right yeah that's i mean that's what you're saying you're like she'll just settle for fucking being a bird cleaning device. Great.
Starting point is 00:36:10 If that's what you want to marry, dude, fucking marry your goddamn duck call. Well, that's, I mean, but that is, that's the whole game, you know? You marry people off so young that they never get an opportunity to explore the world around them. They never get an opportunity to have the world around them they never get an opportunity to have experiences to form their own opinions every piece of their personhood now is viewed through the lens of this relationship with somebody who's older and you know because because he's not saying like the boys should be 15 or 16 and even no you know even he was dating his wife she was 14 he was 18 so the idea is that that you know the the male is older and the female is younger and that way she becomes you know a piece of owner i mean she's chattel at that point she's owned and because she
Starting point is 00:36:59 won't have any world experience outside of what he allows he gets to shape the entirety of her worldview all right that's that's how you that's how you own people that's how that works it's a brainwashing shit like and it's fucking awful it's fucking awful and why do we care about what this guy says because he's got a platform to say it that's's why. And he's clearly talking about religion. I mean, he's clearly bringing religion into the conversation. He's not just saying, I'm a crazy fucking dude with camo and a big ass beard and I think I should marry a 15-year-old.
Starting point is 00:37:34 No, he's fucking waving his Bible the whole time and talking about it. So he's clearly talking to a group of people that are receptive to the Bible. Of course. Yeah, where else is it going to come from? Like, you're not going to fucking pick up Bertrand Russell and get this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:51 So we're going to take a break, and maybe I'll be less surly when we get back, but I don't think so. I really don't think so. And we'll give you a bunch of information. We'll return in just a moment. Want to get in touch with the show? Send an email to dissonance.podcast at in just a moment. Want to get in touch with the show? Send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Be sure to follow the show on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is
Starting point is 00:38:12 at dissonance underscore pod. Like the podcast page on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash dissonance pod, or just type cognitive dissonance into the Facebook search bar. Want your voice featured on our show? Leave a short message on our Google Voice at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Visit DissonancePod.com to see the news stories featured in the show, buy apps and merchandise, or just leave a comment. And to everyone who helps spread the word about the show by sharing it, tweeting it, and rating it on iTunes, glory hole. You fucking rock. So this story comes from pittsburgh.cbs
Starting point is 00:38:55 local. Rabbi sued after baby injured during circumcision. Injured is not the word I would use. During circumcision. Injured is not the word I would use. Injured, Cecil, is, oh, fuck, I stubbed my toe. Injured is, oh, I fucking threw my back out. Injured, Cecil, is I broke my arm. Right. Injured is not a fucking religious dude cut off my penis.
Starting point is 00:39:23 That's a different level. That's not injured. That's maimed. I would say maimed would be a good that'd be a good ad like word to use that's a good verb in that situation so the the rabbi didn't like nick it a little bit like while he fucking severed it oh like cut off remove the cigar cutter out and he just clipped the little thing off snick oh uh yeah uh it's not a fucking uh sea sponge it's not gonna grow a new one how does how does that go over when you're with the parents where you're just like like he's sitting there because it's not like he takes the baby into a back room right did they do it like in front everybody or whatever it's like a fucking
Starting point is 00:40:04 probably in the same room or close to him and he's like clip and then you just hear him go oh shit yeah you know like i mean you know that moment we were just like is it supposed to be bleeding out should you have that much in your hand right now should you have like a full inch of that in your hand should you be should the head be attached to it? Should it be bleeding like that? Should it be just pouring blood out, like shooting like a goddamn fire hose? Put the blood out of it? You know the part of the article that makes me fucking really cross my legs? It says your average pediatric urologist probably spends 20% of his or her time repairing children who've been circumcised. 20% of their time.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Can you imagine if it, if, I mean, if you just think about that on a Monday through Friday work week, if like every Wednesday, all day Wednesday, like, oh,
Starting point is 00:40:54 it's fucking Wednesday. I got to go to work and repair fucking damaged dicks all day. Spaghetti nights. No. Okay. Tom, here's the thing though. Like if 20 20 of them are botched i know i well 20 of the total aren't botched just 20 of the cases that the urologist would see i know that's a lot it's like okay well sure 20 of your 20 of her time repair but that's a lot man oh that means that
Starting point is 00:41:22 there's a lot of them they're botched well even if it's just like one percent or something it's still too many that are getting botched because you have to cut your dick for jesus it's just not a thing you need to do yeah you don't need to cut anybody who's telling you to cut your dick is lying to you right like there's no there's no one who's like i mean unless like that person is a doctor and unless your dick is gangrene right like there is no reason for you to be like sure you should really cut off a piece of your dick for uh you know it's a ritual blood sacrifice fucking what the fuck are you saying why are you making your face make that sound and you know they reattach this baby's penis right so that's a plus but then they go on to say, but sometimes the nerves don't grow back.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Oh, that's nice. So that's kind of a downer. Like, hey, I got a cock, but I can't feel anything on it. So thanks, mom and dad, for hiring fucking Joe's discount rabbi services. I'll tell you, you know, listen to this conversation though. I'll tell you, I would have a hard time cutting off my dick if a zombie bit it.
Starting point is 00:42:36 I'd be like, I'd be like, huh? So I'm going to turn into a mindless, raving fucking flesh eating beast in about 15 seconds. Or I caught off my dick flesh beast it is all i can think of is that that scene from the simpsons where like homer's like pig keeps like it gets away have you ever seen that one the pig roast when he's like
Starting point is 00:42:55 walking around he's like it's still good it's still good yeah like no matter what happens you're just like it's still good it's still exactly it's just a little dirty it's just a little airborne it's like fucking whatever i fell in the wood chipper it's still good i'd still give it back i that's still mine like i don't care i'm gonna figure out something to do with it i'll make a coaster out of that fucker it's mine i'm gonna knit that into a sweater if i have to. I don't... I'll write a tea cozy. Who am I kidding?
Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah, right. It's a coaster. A sweater for a very small person. It's a Barbie sweater. Like a Lego man or something. Marriage is so fundamental to who we are as a society. Without marriage, we will not exist. If you ultimately promoted same-sex marriage
Starting point is 00:43:42 and everyone started to go towards same-sex marriage, what would happen to society? It would just simply cease to exist. Moreover, you'd have rampant increase in diseases. Already you have rampant increase in diseases among same-sex activities, specifically men having sex with men. Same-sex marriage, same-sex relationships is destructive to individuals and it's destructive to our very
Starting point is 00:44:05 social fabric so this next bastion of reason comes from right wing watch staver fears everyone will go gay under marriage equality liberty council head matt staver matt with one t for no reason is warning that with full marriage equality everyone may decide to marry someone of the same sex and society could cease to exist altogether. So that seems super likely. Yes. Pretty much what has happened nowhere at all. People don't become gay because they can get married.
Starting point is 00:44:44 First of all, like that's like the craziest thing like oh man so i can enter into a committed relationship with another party oh man i totally want different genitals now yeah and if that was the case wouldn't it just have already worked in the direction of heterosexuality and there just wouldn't be any gays at all right there wouldn't be any gays at all yeah i it's baffling like the gay people like and with like how does that like you fly over the border and you're like and the captain comes on it's like we are now entering illinois and you're like oh finally i can suck a dick yeah you know man because before i could i didn't even want to before i you know because that was illegal in indiana but now that i've crossed the border
Starting point is 00:45:32 hey i i think it's it's funny too he says same-sex marriage same-sex relationship is destructive to individuals and it's destructive to our very social fabric and i kept wondering myself like how can it be destructive to the social fabric? You know, I don't even know why you're so worried about it. Gays are awesome at picking out fabric. Like they're the best at it. Why are you so worried about it? He's worried about it because he is so gay. That's why he's worried about it. Yeah. He worried because if if all of a sudden there's no barrier to his behavior then he'll have to finally admit that he has feelings that he is terribly uncomfortable with i mean yeah i'm guessing of course yeah maybe maybe come on they'll protest
Starting point is 00:46:22 too much you know i i also see this this is a fucking same old goddamn tyrant argument where they're like, well, gay rights is encouraging pedophilia and the media promotes bestiality by making sex with animals seem like a funny thing. That's how this whole homosexuality began to happen on TV. Basically, they made it funny. And that's true because there's a lot of shows about bestiality. There's So You Think You Can Fuck a jaguar. That's one of them. NCIS is actually NCIS. The initials are nice cat. Is that single? There's America's Got Talons. That's another one. And then there's the Big Bang Theory. Of course, the Big Bang Theory is another bestiality. But bestiality, what fucking bestiality show, Mr. Ed? What are we talking about? What show another bestiality show. But bestiality, what fucking bestiality show?
Starting point is 00:47:05 Mr. Ed, what are we talking about? What show is bestiality? Like, fucking this guy doesn't realize he's running fucking U-porn into his TV? That's the thing is he thinks he's watching America's Funniest Home Videos. You know, and it's like, wait a minute. These videos aren't funny. Yeah. Take that whole donkey?
Starting point is 00:47:24 That's amazing. Where's Bob Saget? He's not introducing this next clip. He's supposed to be saying goofy things. Bob Saget should totally appear between segments on porn channels. That would be fucking spectacular. Have you ever heard that guy stand up? It's filthy.
Starting point is 00:47:40 He's so filthy. He's like ultra filthy. It's awesome i love that disconnect where he plays like the most wholesome dad ever on like full house then like super schmaltzy guy in america's funniest home video and then like he does his fucking stand up and it's like smegma filled filth it's awesome he's a his aristocrats i think he was in the aristocrats if i recall correctly he did a good aristocrats joke. Yeah, this is – but I just want to quash the fucking bestiality argument and the pedophilia argument.
Starting point is 00:48:11 It's like those aren't fucking consenting adults, stupid. Nobody's fucking saying that it's OK to have sex with a child because having sex with a child is wrong because they can't consent to it. Do you not understand the fucking concept of consent? It's been fucking beaten into the goddamn ground at this point bestiality it's like fucking i could look at my cat be like hey you want to fuck and they'll fucking still be looking at its food you know the cat's like i don't speak english are you made like yeah yeah i just fucking i don't understand it doesn't understand a word i'm saying so you'd be like want to fuck and be like huh well i mean if by fuck be like, want to fuck? I'd be like, huh? Well, I mean, if by fuck you mean you want to pet me, then yes, I would like that.
Starting point is 00:48:51 I don't even understand where these people get this from, why this. And the only reason they're doing it is because they want to say that homosexual activity is a deviant sexual act, an act that is reprehensible, an act that should be punishable. And those two things are punishable. So they're like, oh, well, then it's gotta be this other thing. It's like, well, you don't understand what consent is then. Yeah, well, they don't understand what consent is.
Starting point is 00:49:18 They don't even draw a boundary between human and non-human. Like they don't even make a distinction about like what different kinds of beings can reasonably do right like we like children can't enter into contracts that's ridiculous why would we why would we let a child enter into a contract it's like that's a silly fucking thing to allow but somehow like there's like fucking a donkey can be like, yeah, let's do this. We're in Tijuana. Sure.
Starting point is 00:49:50 I mean, hey, hey. It's totally true. It's like it's like they expect they'll be like if they think that that's a thing, then they would be like they shouldn't turn away a seven year old because he saved enough money to buy a brand new charger. Right. Yeah. Be like, oh, he's got a brand new dodge charger because he bought it yeah yeah i mean or or you know like offer children fucking loans at usurious rates you know like why not i mean fuck it it's actually a good business
Starting point is 00:50:18 plan they will they don't understand the concept of money they're the perfect target audience and then he says in the same thing he's like this still this fucking makes me nuts too he says uh the president will meet with people such as the iranian delegation other terrorists from around the country uh iranian that's not from around the country anyway but not with someone who believes that marriage is the union of a man and a woman and that homosexuality should not be actively promoted in the school system you cannot actively promote homosexuality it can't be done you cannot convince somebody to be gay you i i fucking like that is that argument makes me crazy it's like they hear a cheerleader say g-a-y be gay and everybody's just like, oh, man, fucking, I am so gay.
Starting point is 00:51:06 I feel fabulous. It's amazing. And you just want to turn to them and say, like, okay, well, if that's possible, describe to me what kind of argument would have to be made to you in order for you to change your sexual orientation. Oh, well, nobody could possibly make an argument that would turn me gay. Oh, because that's just not how it works. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.
Starting point is 00:51:29 You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this last story comes from Right Wing Watch. Jim Garrow, Garrow? Garrow? Garrow, reveals Obama's secret plan to use aliens and Canadians to plot against America. We're worried about Canada now. We're fucking worried about Canadians. We are.
Starting point is 00:51:56 We're worried about Canadians. Like our friendly neighbor to the north, like the most polite society. They're too nice. Like, what are they going to fucking throw walleye and maple syrup at us? How are they going to take over? I don't know. I mean, is he saying like Canadians will come down without a passport and they'll be
Starting point is 00:52:16 illegal aliens? Is that what he's saying? He's talking about actual fucking aliens. Actual aliens. From the article, this must be Obama's plan B as Garrow previously claimed
Starting point is 00:52:31 that Obama almost launched a devastating nuclear attack on the U.S. with the goal of killing 90% of Americans in order to help George Soros make money. What the motherfuck is wrong with this guy? You killed nine, you launched nuclear weapons.
Starting point is 00:52:54 You could, money would cease to be a thing. Yeah, 90%? Shit. Like, if the government launched missiles at its own citizenry and killed nine out of ten people, money wouldn't be a thing. Like you would never have to – money would cease to be a real at that point. Yeah, money is only just an agreement, right? Like that's what money is. Money is not a thing of worth.
Starting point is 00:53:19 It's an agreement between parties that this is of worth. And suddenly if there's – 90 90 of them are gone it's like you know what's really worthwhile is beans cans of beans you know it when if obama turns america into the fucking road yeah like all of a sudden like i read that like nobody's like uh fucking give me 20 bucks instead they're like i ate a baby yeah like you know exactly or they're just like you know like like what i would really like to trade this can of beans for is that box of shotgun shells exactly although i am always amused see slides in his side whenever there's like american post-apocalyptic stuff and ammo is somehow in short supply i know there's so much fucking ammo in this country it's
Starting point is 00:54:01 like wait a minute there's less people to use it like there's so much ammunition in america and there's less people that need it now there would be like that would be the one thing that would never run out in an american post-apocalyptic you could build a ladder to the moon we have but i i you know there's so much going on in this one of them where he's talking about. He's basically saying that Obama is going to claim that he has contact with aliens. Now, it's a claim, though, because it's not it's not real. It's like a fake. It's like a moon landing type thing. And it's going to be the greatest deception mankind has ever faced. And he goes on in these in these talks. And if you could listen to these, each one of these is him talking.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Although I wouldn't recommend listening to him, not one of these is him talking, although I wouldn't recommend listening to him, not just because he's stupid and this is dumb, but specifically, there's like a high pitched whine that's happening. I mean, it's really unpleasant to listen to. Maybe that's just Obama's chip in my head is trying to shut it off. I don't know if that's the case or not, but specifically each one of these sounds like it was recorded like in a fucking saltines box across the room. It's awful. But specifically what he says is he's like he says something to the effect of this is a big hoax and they're trying to get this into the common culture now that alien life can be a possibility. And I'm thinking, what are you talking about? Is your universe that small where you really
Starting point is 00:55:25 think yep we're it like is your universe that small because i mean it to not at least even have the possibility that there's extraterrestrial life is this stupid i mean you gotta be dumb you gotta be i mean to at least have the possibility i'm not saying that it exists i'm just saying like to have the possibility in a universe as big as ours to be like, oh, no, there's no way that we're it. That's it. That's where the only fucking life in the entire universe. And to and, you know, to fake something like that is on par with. I mean, it's even worse than on par with the moon landing, because the moon landing, at least you knew what you were getting into. What do you get? Who's your fucking speech writer for the aliens?
Starting point is 00:56:07 And nobody's going to ask for an evidence like obama's supposed to pull this off and be like and i fucking met with some aliens and people are gonna be like okay great when where what do they look like where are they where are they all i have is this blurry photo yeah right like all i it's right here behind the sasquatch to the left of the abominable snowman like there's an orb covering it because there's a lot of dust in the room you see i was on the island of misfit toys when yeah like fuck you like that's how that nobody would like the only fucking credulous dipshits who could believe a story so outlandish are you. That's the thing that cracks me up. It's like, you know, it's like these people who fucking read the weekly world news and they're like, oh, Batboy strikes again.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Didn't the police put out an APB for him last time? That motherfucker gets around. It's like he's got wings or something. Look at that fucking guy. Well, I guess with teeth like that, you know. And giant cheeks. What the fuck? You read this thing and then he's like, he confuses himself
Starting point is 00:57:15 at the end of it. His fucking nonsense theory gets so complicated, he can't even control it anymore. It's like a guy who bought a dog that's bigger than he is and out of control. Like, you know what I mean? It's like all of a sudden it's like getting grandma, like your fucking one-legged wheelchair-bound blind grandma with like a hook hand. It's like getting her like a hook hand.
Starting point is 00:57:42 What did grandma do previously in her life she must have literally either led an amazing life or a very depressing one she was a pirate it's like getting a pr it's like getting her like seven pit bull puppies you know what i mean like it's just so out of control you have no hope of reigning it in he says at the end of it as for the americans who rise up against obama and aren't deceived by his alien plot, Rush predicted that patriotic civilians and soldiers will fight Obama's Chinese United Nations Army. Okay, so Obama tells us there's aliens. We don't believe it. Somehow the Chinese seize control of the United Nations Army.
Starting point is 00:58:26 The United Nations doesn't even have an army whatever now gero even said that obama will send in troops from canada to bring down the insurgency so this is the plot for red dawn isn't it obama now controls canadian military troops yeah it's a puppet and he can do this by the way because the canadians they can shoot uh american civilians because they've never sworn allegiance to the constitution what i'm fucking now we're bringing in a new element a group of people who could be armed and could be in a position to shoot American civilians who have never sworn allegiance to the constitution. But aren't you doing that when you rise up against, because you're not rising up against Obama. It's not like he's the only one out there, right? It's not like Obama is the one with a gun and is like forcing everybody to believe in this alien
Starting point is 00:59:19 and plotter to fight him with guns, right? Like it's, it's a a it's a whole group of people if this is your weird fucking crazy fantasy then obama controls an army that happens to be made of americans so what because they're made of americans you're like well i swore an allegiance to the constitution i will not shoot someone else in my country and like like the canadians are evil because they didn't swear an allegiance to a foreign constitution nobody's sworn allegiance to the constitution that's does i pledge allegiance to the constitution like do you really i mean does he really think that anyone has done this first of all but beyond that sure that foreign countries that country that they swear allegiance to the american Constitution or that because they didn't, they all are a threat?
Starting point is 01:00:06 Like all nations, like all nations across the entirety of the country are always a threat until they swear an allegiance to our Constitution. Who would fucking do that? What kind of glarble flarb is this? You know, the other part of this that is just, I mean, there's so much crazy going on. what you know the other part of this that is just i mean there's so much crazy going on one of the parts that's just him talking about this the reason why he knows all this stuff is that there was a fucking cia operative that told him this stuff years ago and that cia operative has been found dead murdered by obama in hong kong and i'm like i'm thinking myself i'm like okay well what's his name operative i mean
Starting point is 01:00:45 he's fucking dead so who cares right like i mean he's already dead it's not like you're protecting him and you already said it's a ci operative murdered in hong kong so if the fucking government's listening they know you know right so what's the big deal what's his name then isn't this the same guy am i maybe getting the craziest mixed up i read an article i think this is the same guy who thought that tom clancy that obama killed tom clancy the writer like the spy fiction writer because he was like too close to the truth so obama had tom clancy killed the same guy yep yeah this guy and and the thing is that okay so this guy's read way too many Tom Clancy novels. Right, no kidding. Like, he's fucking got his fucking house
Starting point is 01:01:28 wallpapered in Tom Clancy novels. This guy's pages of Tom Clancy novels are stuck together. Yeah. He's hunting for Red October every night. So again, we want to encourage you to vote for us in the Stitcher Awards. I know I said it earlier, but I'd like to say it again. Please vote for us in the Stitcher Awards.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Go to episode 132, dissonancepod.com. You can find the link to vote for us in the Stitcher Awards. Take a screenshot of that vote. After you vote, send it to us under Stitcher Awards is the title, the subject of the email and take a screenshot send the image and you're in the drawing for a shirt.
Starting point is 01:02:16 That's exciting for the people who would wear a shirt places. And it's your choice too. You don't have to get the dick shirt if you don't want it. You have to. Somebody has to. You don't have to get the glory hole shirt if you don't want it. How many of those have we sold? Do you know? Is it just because we only sold one to the dude in Australia.
Starting point is 01:02:32 No, there's a guy from like Finland or whatever who has one, too. That's awesome. I love that we're ruining the earth one shirt at a time. Speaking of which, he was in the Irreverent Skeptics Hangout. Google Plus has a hangout every week and they do a little talk show with a bunch of people that go to this hangout. And last week I just happened to be home and I sent him an email and said, Hey, can I come on your hangout? And they let me join for a little bit. So the last irreverent skeptics hangout, and you can find them at the irreverent
Starting point is 01:02:59 skeptics, Google plus page. Um, the last one I was on for like the last 20 minutes or so we just ch chit-chatted and had some fun, and they were talking about morality, and I didn't really have anything much to add except for dick jokes. So if you're interested, you can go check that out there. Well, but I mean, you did add the dick jokes, right? Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I added value. That's fine. Every time I visit anywhere, I add value, and by value, I mean dick jokes.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Dick jokes. Okay. Yeah. So we got a few more people sending in for the food drive. We want to remind you that we're on the hook here for $300. All you got to do is donate to your local food drive, which you should be doing. I mean, it helps those people locally. And this is a time of year where people are hungry.
Starting point is 01:03:43 There's plenty of organizations that are helping people find shelter and things, and you can give a chance to help people get some food in their stomachs. And this isn't just for the homeless. Lots of food shelters are for people like the working poor, people who just don't have enough to make ends meet between weeks. This is a great way to give locally to your community. So if you can give to your local food drive, send us an image of the receipt. You can black out all your stuff. All we want to do is see the amount and that you paid somebody some money.
Starting point is 01:04:13 We will then add it to the tally. Once we reach $3,000, Tom and I are going to donate $300 to the local food depository, the Greater Chicago Food Depository. So if you want to make that happen, please donate to your local food drive. Any little bit helps with five bucks helps. Yeah, absolutely. Don't hold back because you don't have, you know, a ton of money. And, you know, one way that you can put some money together if you don't have room in your budget. And this is something I'm going to do starting next week is you can take the snap challenge, live on on $32 for a week. Most of you probably live on more than $32 for your food budget in a week. So take your food budget, take the SNAP Challenge, live for a week on $32,
Starting point is 01:04:57 see what it's like to rely on the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program. It's an educational experience, if nothing else. I'll be doing it next week. And donate the difference. That way it doesn't affect your pocketbook. If you normally spend $60 in a week on food, you're spending $32, donate the $28. There you go. No harm comes from it. You're not out anything. You don't have to budget specially for it. And I think it's a worthwhile experience. And like Cecil says, every dollar amount does help. So if it's $5 or $10 or $20, that's going to feed somebody.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Some human being is going to walk into a place and get a food because of that. There's very few things you'll do that are more worthwhile than that. Yeah, and our donate button is down right now, so you can't even donate to the show. So even if you were thinking about donating to the show, you can't donate to the show right now. The only thing that's up right now is the link to the Greater Chicago Food Depository. So if you want to donate to us, instead, donate that money to somebody else. Donate it to somebody who needs it, somebody who needs some food in their stomach. So please take some time. If you have some extra cash, donate to a local food depository, your local one.
Starting point is 01:06:15 And as I do the Snap Challenge, by the way, I'm going to post it on Facebook, like the grocery bill and the stuff that I eat as we go. So you can see kind of, you know, what $32 actually buys in groceries. I hope it's a lot, Cecil. Like voluminous amounts of food. Almost certainly not. I'm going to eat balloons. Lose a lot of weight, my friend. I'm going to eat actual balloons.
Starting point is 01:06:37 Lose a lot of weight. So we got an email from Greg. Tom, why don't you read? He has a bunch of suggestions that I think are just really worthwhile. So why don't you read these? Hey, guys, really love the podcast. But after listening for a while, some things occurred to me that could really improve the show. First, cut down the swearing might seem big and clever in middle school, but two grown men shouldn't need to use foul language so much. And it just sounds as though you're trying too hard to cut down the laughing. The listeners are not idiots.
Starting point is 01:07:06 If something is funny, they can work it out for themselves. They don't need a laugh track to let them know three. You need more hosts. Two people. Does it really work? And often comes across as a couple of friends having a conversation. This is true. Or even better.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Five hosts would allow you to better split the load of who brings up what subject and not have the podcast dominated by just a couple of voices. Great idea. Wow. What did we think of that, Tom? Gosh, there should be something like this. You should broaden the subject area. Too often, you talk about just crazy things lunatics
Starting point is 01:07:40 have said. Right. The podcast would probably attract more people if you were to talk more about items of a general skeptical or scientific interest. It's true. He's got a point. Five. You need to have some sort of introduction. It's so true.
Starting point is 01:07:55 At the moment, you pretty much dive straight in. We do. A good idea would be to have some sort of regular feature. Right. Perhaps a famous person who was born or died on that day and talk a little bit about them. Yeah, that's a really good idea. Maybe we could get Bob Novella to do that. We should ask and see.
Starting point is 01:08:12 He might be busy doing that. Yeah. The ending. The ending is too abrupt. This can leave the listener feeling a little lost and frustrated. Frustrated. My wife sympathizes. Like sexually frustrated?
Starting point is 01:08:27 I sure hope not. A better way would be to have some segment that always ends the show. Right. Not like a skeptic's creed or anything. No, we wouldn't want something like that. A suggestion here would be a quote about science or skepticism. Very true.
Starting point is 01:08:40 Seven. I think you could benefit more from other regular segments, but this email is already beginning to look a little critical, so I won't go into more details. This is great. Thank you so much for sending it. It made me laugh out loud when I read it. This was very funny.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Because it's so funny because it perfectly describes Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. And at first I thought, when I first read it, I was like the first three, first two actually, because it's like cut down on the swearing and the laughing. And I was like, really? Are we really getting another one of these emails? I know, I was mad. I was like, this shit again.
Starting point is 01:09:15 And then when it came to the host, I was like, ah, you got me, Greg. Good for you. That's funny. That's funny stuff. We got an interesting email from Trevor. And Trevor just basically was talking about how he talks to his kids about gods. And he talks about all religions. He talks about how Thor's day is Thursday and how Wednesday is actually Woden's day or Odin's day and how cool Hercules is. And he talks about Saturn and different things.
Starting point is 01:09:46 And he specifically goes out of his way to talk about the Christian God and the biblical God. And he talks about them in the same sort of irreverence that he talks about Thor and he talks about Odin. And specifically, this is how he teaches his child to learn about, and I guess not just child, but children to learn about different gods. And I think it's a great way to go about it. Yeah. You know, the biggest enemy to faith is probably comparative religion classes. You know, I mean, once you find out that
Starting point is 01:10:18 all these different people have all these competing ideas and none of them seem to have a better claim to truth than the other group. Um, it, it strikes me as really difficult, um, to just pick one at that point and just be like, Oh, I'll just choose this one. I mean, how would it not seem weird and random? Um, and it's honest, you know, and it's a really honest way to have these discussions. So thank you very much for your email. We appreciate it. Got an email from Jeff, and Jeff said that there might be some resources from atheists out there. One of them is, he says, the good folks over at Recovering From Religion website have created a service called The Secular Therapist. It's a great place to find mental health professional who won't try to cure
Starting point is 01:11:05 you with Jesus. And it's called secular therapy.org. That's one word. I'm going to put it on this week's show notes, episode one 32. So if you go check it out, uh, and,
Starting point is 01:11:16 if you're interested in some therapy, you can get secular therapy. We got an email from, I'm going to go, I'm going to go for it. Do it. Do it. I'm just going to go for it. We got an email from... I'm going to go for it, Tom. Do it. I'm just going to go for it.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Take the fucking plunge. We got an email from... Olafer Simason Sigurisan. You fucking nailed it. That is it. That's exactly... I did the fucking... You rolled it.
Starting point is 01:11:38 That's fucking how you say your name, bro. You fucking committed. That's the thing. So, Olafer... Olafer? Olafer? I don't know. Whatever your name name is he sent an email to us and he said that basically icelanders don't believe in elves and we're like totally cool that's awesome we didn't realize they didn't believe in elves thanks
Starting point is 01:11:55 for the correction yeah um they still believe in hobbits though i think yeah totally they believe in mordor because it's right there all i know is there's one ring to rule them all. That's all. I got it to a back and forth a little bit with a guy by the name of David. And David was talking about Phil Robertson. And we went back and forth about what Phil Robertson said and whether or not it was damaging. that he said back to me is I said to him that saying that gays will go to hell gives people the right to treat them poorly and to give them a second-class citizen status, basically passing judgment on people and calling them sinners is hurting people. And he said he didn't really
Starting point is 01:12:37 follow my reasoning, Tom. I'm not sure what's not to follow. So here's the thing. When you have people standing at a bully pulpit, whether it's the pulpit of the media, whether it's the actual pulpit of a church, and they espouse a view that marginalizes a group of people for something that's entirely out of that group's control, whether it's race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, whatever. You are giving the audience of the person who has the bully pulpit, you're giving the audience license in a lot of ways to discriminate. You're encouraging them. Yeah. to discriminate. You're encouraging them. Yeah. You're saying, hey, everybody, let's, you know, let's point at the other and identify them as other and marginalize the other. That's a bad thing. I don't see, I don't know how you can do that and not see that as a bad thing.
Starting point is 01:13:39 I think, I think too, you know, you're also emboldening the people that hear that. So we, we had this conversation. You and I talked about the, the weird racist person who just like fixes your dryer and is like, Hey, racist too, like looking for you to be racist. And we we've, we've both had that experience, you and I, Tom. And, and it's, and the thing is, is if he runs, when he runs into the racist guy, they have racist things to talk about. Right. And if they, if the racist people start paying attention to other racist people, and then they're mean to someone who happens to be of the race that they're racist towards, the people, and there's a group of them, the people that are, that are not being racist may
Starting point is 01:14:20 not want to step out and say something. They will be pushed back. They'll be held back because they won't be like, well, I'm outnumbered and I'm not going to, you know, I'm certainly not going to jump in the way. I'm not that race. I'm not going to jump in the way. It's important for people who are not gay to be gay allies because there's no way the gays can do it on their own because there's, they're only like 10% of the population. They would never have, if they didn't have allies, they would never have a voting block and they'd never have people on their side because everybody would either just be indifferent or mean.
Starting point is 01:14:54 And I think you've gotta be able to stand up and say, look, I'm not gonna take you saying that stuff. You're encouraging people to be mean. You're encouraging people to hurt other people and to say mean shit and to just discriminate against a group. And that's wrong. It's a bad thing. It's not a moral good. And we should be able to say that about them. We got an email from Rachel, Tom, about naturopaths. We did. She made an interesting point. She said, you mentioned on the latest podcast that you didn't understand why naturopaths of all stripes seemed content to agree with each other, even when their different disciplines seemed to be at odds.
Starting point is 01:15:31 It reminded me of something else. I wish I could remember where I heard this. It could have been on an episode of Penn and Teller's bullshit or could have been something Steve Novella said. But the idea was that people who believed in aliens would accept all the different sorts of aliens the human mind could conceive. So people who believe in little green men will believe in reptoids and tall green men and etc. All because if one group begins to question another group, then they have to bear scrutiny on why their beliefs are more correct than someone else's. If they have any enemy at all, it's big government who's covering the evidence up, and this is a common enemy that they can all share without it infringing on their beliefs. I think
Starting point is 01:16:10 it's fairly similar when it comes to alt-med. For the most part, none of them are going to have a good reason why their method of healing is better than another alternative method of healing, and thus it's best not to get into arguments with each other about it and instead to live and let live. They would rather have the common enemy of big medicine. Although I guess that's changing since now they want to be able to run tests and hand out scripts. I think she nailed it. I think she's right on. So we are part of a group now called Secular Broadcasting.
Starting point is 01:16:42 You can go to secular.fm and listen to us. We are part of the Secular Broadcasting, you can go to secular.fm and listen to us. We are part of the Secular Broadcasting Network. So if you're interested in hearing other podcasts that are part of that network, you can go to secular.fm and listen to the live stream. There's old shows of us on there, and you can listen to us. This is a 24-7 broadcasting of secular programming that's coming out of secular.fm. So you can go there and listen. And we're part of it. And you may, if you go there and listen to our show and you stick around for the next show, you may like the next show too.
Starting point is 01:17:13 So if you got a chance, favorite it. Go there and check it out. It's in beta right now. It's not 100%. So if you find problems, there's specifically an email address to send issues to. They're working on a couple of things right now as we speak. I sent a feedback message to them today to fix a few things, but it's really coming together. This is the same group that's putting together the Secularite iPad magazine as well as the Secularite website. So check those things out.
Starting point is 01:17:44 They're great resources. And there's a ton of secular people that have come together to put this stuff together. So give it a shot, give it a listen, and go take a look at it because you're supporting the secular community when you go over there. I think Secular FM is a great radio station to put on while you're sitting at work and hoping to be fired. So if you're somebody who wants to collect unemployment, right, right.
Starting point is 01:18:11 No, it's, it's very cool. Go check it out next week. It's our hope. We're going to have Tanner Campbell on from, uh, from the no God cast to talk about the secular broadcasting network and other
Starting point is 01:18:21 things. Uh, his, his podcast as well. Uh, we, we just missed each other tonight. I, there's, I think, with time zones tonight, so we missed each other, but we're hopefully going to have him on next week, if not in the very near future. But until next time, we're going to leave
Starting point is 01:18:38 you as always with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Word Spiral, Brain Dead, Pan, Sales Pitch, Late Night Info, Docutainment. Leo, Pisces, Cancer Cures, Detox, Reflex, Foot Massage, Death in Towers, Tarot Cars, Psychic Healing, Crystal Balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, Aliens, Churches, Mosques and Synagogues, Temples, Dragons, Giant Worms, Atlantis, Dolphins, Truthers, Birthers, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.
Starting point is 01:19:34 Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Doubt even this. Thank you. you

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