Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 136: Imaginary Friends Show, Part 3

Episode Date: February 3, 2014

We appeared on David’s Show - Atheist Hangouts: We also appeared of Jake’s Show:

Do you want to get Cognitive Dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. So there's an error in the first story that I wanted to clear up before you listen to it. Twice during that story, Jake refers to the Salvation Army as the Red Cross. I think it's just a slip of the tongue. There's no Red Cross at all in any of that story. It's all the Salvation Army. So if you hear Red Cross, that's not the case. It's all the Salvation Army. So if you hear Red Cross,

that's not the case. It was actually the Salvation Army in Australia. So I just wanted to clear that up before we came in. And we got weird letters from people saying that we were inconsistent. All right. Enjoy the show. Here's some voicemails. Hey, this is Mike from the Irreverent Skeptics. No, not that Mike. The other Mike. Yeah, that one. I overheard your discussion of Brian Fisher's conundrum with relation to voting rights and how he wanted to say that only landowners or only property owners, I guess, could vote. And, you know, I've been talking to him because I know you said this is crazy. I think it's crazy too. I've been talking to him.

He came up with this idea of a compromise where everybody who's not a property owner gets a three-fifths vote. And the thing I call the three-fifths compromise, it sounds like something we've done before. I think it worked out pretty well. Okay, let me know what you think, guys. All right, take it easy. We'll be right back. Hey, Cecil and Tom. This is Ryan from Massachusetts.

I'm currently at episode 49 of Patching Up with All Your Episodes. And I think it was Cecil who was talking about episode 49. By the way, I'm surprised I've gotten through this far. You guys are wonderful. Just a lot to take in and a lot to re-anger me. It's a lot to take in and a lot to re-anger me. But I think Cecil mentioned something about the right-wing and religious groups being against gay marriage as being just an initial inherent wanting to cling on to the patriarchy, and I think it just goes back even more basic than that,

because in most religions, it's the idea of God is suffering. So anything that feels good has to inherently be bad. And I may be talking out of my ass, but this is just the idea that kind of sprung to me while listening to your show. So take that as you will. And I also want to say, if I didn't have a mental block that just let me spew whatever I want, and if I had a microphone and people listen, pretty much what you guys say would be what I think. So thank you for making a wonderful, entertaining show.

Please keep up the good work, and maybe I'll hear this in a month when I finally catch up to the newest episodes. So have a good day, guys. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Forget it then. Forget it. We'll just do it all over.

Do it live. Fuck it. All right. Fuck. Go. For fuck's sake, go. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast

anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence. Is there an echo? To any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome mat. Can I just say it's political and there is no welcome mat can i just say it's the most ravishingly handsome echo i've ever heard in my entire life i just fuck the echo i'm just saying i would i tell you what it wouldn't last you know what you know what tom the echo would fuck you this is episode 100 and you know what you would fucking love it oh man you would love it so much

you would be begging for me I'm kind of uncomfortable with how close you are to your own microphone right now I'm kind of uncomfortable with the phallic nature of this microphone

I'm gonna press my lips up to do the show. And by uncomfortable, I mostly just mean aroused. I kind of look like I'm sitting on a hemorrhoid. That's all right. I kind of look like the hemorrhoid. And if that doesn't do it for you, nothing will. Oh, man. Just for context, I'm sitting on a fit ball, not my actual hemorrhoid.

Well, he may or may not be sitting on his hemorrhoid, but it's on a fit ball. Those are not mutually exclusive. That's true. That is a great point. Thank you very much, Madison. That's the one point I will make always. I'm sitting on a couple of red pulsating things. And Cecil might need a minute.

A minute. One minute. Yeah, a minute. Come on. This is episode 136. Come on now. Of cognitive dissonance. And we are unfortunate enough to be joined by Jake from the imaginary

friend show podcast dot com biz org. Whatever the fuck you're... That's how it ends. You got it. Nailed it! I thought so. I love it. The sexual echo. I can't. I'm fucking flustered. Actually.

Is it hot in here or is it just you, Jake? It's just Jake. Fantastic. We thought we'd have jake on to help uh totally fucking ruin the first story that uh we're gonna cover because when you're covering a story like this oh yeah you need more firepower i'm just saying you can't like see so i are ill equipped well for most things but particularly to cover a story like this one this comes from the raw story salvation which is appropriate that it is coming from the raw story because it is about as raw as it gets oh yeah oh yeah and and also appropriately i roared at it. Like the lion's roar?

You know what I mean? I roared towards it in that general direction. Just say roar again for me. Roar. I love it. I love it. That's my new fucking ringtone. It's great. You just got to leave some space for the listeners.

Roar. Beautiful. You're a dick. I love it when we're off rails this this early in the show yeah there's no way to recover at this point just fucking throw this story out jake tell us about koalas actually soon after recording with you last time jake's off the leash some dude from twitter sent me a link to the 40 most weirdly dangerous animals in Australia. I think I've covered them all.

There's nothing left. The 40 most dangerous. It's all the animals in Australia. You seriously don't have anything. Even your fucking rocks are poisonous. It is ridiculous. I wouldn't even drink the fucking water there. That's right, Tom.

Inanimate things are poisonous. Jesus Christ. We do have a lot of uranium, I suppose. You could be poisoned through the radiation. The rocks are poisonous, Tom. Yes, the rocks are poisonous. That's called fucking hyperbole, Jake. Look it up.

Isn't it pronounced hyperbole? No, that's on Sunday. It's hyperbole, Jake. Look it up. Isn't it pronounced hyperbole? No, that's on Sunday. The hyperbole, that's on Sunday. The hyperbole. I know my sporting events. Go move a thing to the other thing. We will cheer.

I'm actually looking forward to the Super Bowl because I need to go to Ikea. And that's the only day that I can go to Ikea and not hate my life is on Super Bowl Sunday. That's awesome. So I love it. Like for non-sporting families, Super Bowl is like it's like that twilight zone where that guy wakes up and everyone in the world is gone. You know, and he's walking around. He fucking breaks his glasses

it's like that except for you didn't break your glasses like it's exactly like the whole world just empties out and you can go anywhere and do anything you can drive your fucking car with your eyes closed there's nobody on the road I don't wear pants the whole day no one notices yeah there's no well

you never wear pants anyway spray paint is pants I contend that never wear pants anyway spray paint is pants fantastic i contend that that is a true spray paint is provides just the right type of team i hear i hear i hear are we doing the story so apparently yeah we did there's a story there's a yeah again this comes from the raw story. Salvation Army in Australia. Which is appropriate, because it's a pretty raw story. We're going there again. Accused of raping children with a garden hose and other abuses. Now, before we talk about this story in detail,

I have to talk about the image that they chose, because I fucking love it. So you have a headline here talking about accusing the salvation army of raping children with a garden hose and then it says the salvation army doing the most good what is the least like what is less than the most good at this point like it's better than their original logo, which was Salvation Army. Balls deep. That one just didn't go over well.

The test markets didn't like it, and so they went to this one instead. So they could be ambiguous with their boy banging. Right, Salvation Army, bite down on this. It was also beaten out by the other saying, which was, The Salvation Army, we're hung like garden hoses oh god i mean like how good would the and i should actually preface everything that i say from before i just said what i just said onwards in that this story is so fucking awful like there is literally nothing that you can say to make this story

palatable okay so we're just gonna i think i think the appropriate way to deal with this is to make fun of the salvation army and everything about this story okay so that said how good would it have felt to have been to have been the guy to haveying the guy. Where is this going? To obeying the guy that was just reported as having a garden hose. Shoved up his anus? Yeah, no, they stuck a hose up there in the anus region, and they put him in a cage. You know, because somehow you have a cage. Right? You know, see, so it's funny because I thought the same thing.

I thought, like, shit has gone tits up when you buy the cage. You don't even have to put a person in it yet. When the Salvation Army is ordering, when they're looking on Amazon, they're like, no, that one does not ship free. That is not prime. I am not ordering that cage. No, that's for a chinchilla. We need something with bigger bars. No, that won't fit enough fucking savagely abused children.

bars. No, that won't fit enough fucking savagely abused children. And it's not like as if this is an organization that gets all of its funding from donations and from the government. And in order to fit a human being into a cage, you've got to

buy a pretty big cage. So was all of the money that was being donated to the Salvation Army going to cages. And you know the worst part? That's what I want to know. The worst part is they bought that cage tax-free. That is pretty bad.

And the garden hose, too. Let's not forget the garden hose. I do want to point out, because this is a detail that should not be overlooked, it says children were sodomized with a garden hose, locked in outdoor cages, and savagely beaten by Salvation Army majors in graphic cases. So at least they were officers. And that, I think, helps. You know, if they were.

Yeah, no, yeah. Yeah. It takes the sting out of it when they're beating your balls with a leather strap. What do you have to do to get promoted to a fucking officer? Like, you have to go to, like, the Salvation Army ROTC. Well, apparently you have to do this i think this is what qualifies you for being an officer officer like i mean clearly the hazing is a little difficult so can you sodomize a small child with a garden hose yes you are you are made for officer training let us us. You are officer material, my friend.

You hear that question. It's like, well, I can, but I don't want to. Oh, yeah. It looks like you're going to be the fucking mess cook, motherfucker. It's like somebody has to tell him, like, you guys do know this isn't a real army, right? Like, we don't have to have majors because it's not a real army. No one's ever going to invade the sovereign nation of salvation. Well, except for maybe atheists. Atheists are constantly invading salvation.

You need a children's crusade is what you would need, but then they would just rape it. This guy got off. Well, he got off, but he also got off because he died in 2008. That's the sad part is that this person – That was real punishment. It doesn't sound like he was punished at all and he died and that's it. Yeah, but he'll be punished in hell. Oh, shut your face.

Sure he will. Shut your face. I hate this. There's a quote just above where it says that he died, or on another page, in fact, where it says that this guy, this guy who was doing a lot of the sodomizing, a lot of the torture, Major Lawrence Wilson, was described by colleagues as a brutal and evil man. So this torture was known about for quite a long time, and apparently the Salvation Army did nothing about it for quite a long time. The abuse took place between 66 and 77. That's 11 years that this guy or this organization was torturing.

Torture is beyond abuse, in my opinion. They were torturing children for 11 years, and nobody did anything about it. So this is weirdly serendipitous But the Red Cross Is currently doing an appeal In my area at least And After you sent me this story this morning

I happened to get a knock on the door That's awesome And I walked up to the door And it was the Salvation Army And I had to ask I had to ask these questions. You know, I wish I had have recorded it. He probably wouldn't have let me do it anyway.

But basically I asked them, you know, how do you feel about this? And the guy just didn't want to comment. I said, look, you're asking me for money. There's one point, I think this story says it, 1.2 million Australian dollars has been given to abuse victims, which, by the way, there are 157 victims. Right. Right?

$1.2 million? That is not enough money. Oh, it's not. It doesn't even touch it. Oh, my goodness, no. But this is ridiculous. But I ask the question, you know, where is my money going to go? If I give you money, where is it going to go?

Is it going to go to abuse victims? Is it going to go to more hospices where you're going to sodomize children? Why are you walking around this area asking for money? Where the fuck is the money going? Do you know how much that is? $7,600 per person? My math is off, but I don't think it is. $7,600 per person? My math is off, but I don't think it is. $7,000.

$7,000 to get raped with a garden hose. Who would take you up on that? I don't know, man. Who's like, hey, what parent would be like, I don't know about letting my kid go off with you. Well, we're going to rape him with a garden hose, beat him, and make him eat his own vomit. We're just going to say the only people

is the two girls girls one cup people like that's like you know like that's the that's the extent that you would have you know you were saying jake you're saying like of course these people knew it and you're totally right they of course they knew it because where the fuck do you hide people in a cage where do you what do you you got a fucking you got a blanket over you're like no that's my rabbit that's screaming in there. Right. Right. Wow. Yeah, and apparently this guy, this Major Lawrence Wilson, it says in the article, he would conduct a daily, quote,

sick parade in which he would single out boys to be physically inspected in private and sexually assault them. Wow. That's great. Yeah. yeah well these are the people that were in charge of these these children this guy specifically and the thing is is like when your colleagues are saying this guy was brutal and awful that means that they were brutal and awful because they didn't fucking do anything about it that's yeah absolutely right man it's like how do you describe somebody can you imagine a a secular analog to this? Right. And I think about this all the time. Like, what's the secular analog? Imagine a corporation. And in your corporation, you've got a boss who's a tyrant and your boss is a fucking. And let's say he's your boss. He's not your he's not your colleague. He's not at your same level. He's your boss. And he's somebody that you would actually describe as a brutal and evil man who is torturing

employees like he's fucking like he beats the interns like he just like gets an intern and fucking dumps hot coffee on their head i hate my time at stalin inc it's awful i mean you would say something i mean you would it's not like there's no avenue right you could call the press you could call the police these things are clearly fucking illegal. It would be like if he was raping the women at the office, just like taking the women to his office and just raping them. Be like, um, that wouldn't last very long. Right? No, because you would say like, oh, there's a rational and easy answer to brutal and evil people.

You call the police. I take it even one step further, Cecil. It's like he's raping the children of the women in the office. It's saying, you know, the boss is saying, bring in your children because tomorrow is bring your children to work day. And when the children arrive, you know, they have a nice big board meeting so that the children can see exactly what goes on in mummy's office.

And then the children are physically inspected, brought into his room where he sodomizes them and tortures them for hours. For 11 years. Wow. For 11 years. It's inconceivable. For 11 years. And all they're getting is $7, years. It's inconceivable. For 11 years. And all they're getting is $7,000.

Here's your check. Remember to pay your taxes on it. And this is why they're doing the Red Shield. So, wow, listeners of your show and every show that happens to pick up this fucking segment, if the Red Cross knock on your door, don't give them a fucking cent. In fact, suggest that they go and take out a loan against every little bit of every asset that they have or sell every single asset that they have to ensure that the victims of this abuse are adequately compensated for. Wow. $7,000. And it's $7,000 Australian, which is less than what it would be $7,000 American would be a little, I think it would be. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. The exchange rate, it says it would be $1.05 million in U.S. dollars. That's not enough money. Like those guys are fucking standing outside every goddamn grocery store clanging their fucking bells. I mean, you've you gotta be kidding me that's yeah that is an inconceivably small sum of money yeah it's like 6500 i have i have friends who have been abused i have friends who are victims uh that have you know survived rape and torture and uh you know and and worse and a lot of them say that there is literally no monetary value that you could put on what they have experienced. Right, sure. Of course not.

So while we're saying $7,000 isn't enough, there is literally no money amount that is enough to compensate for what they've gone through. So here's the solution that occurs to me, is that when a religious organization that lives off the largesse of government, right, and they all do with their tax breaks and bullshit. When a religious organization lives off the largesse of government is found to have harbored people like this, all of their assets should be immediately seized all of them every single asset all of them every church every every fucking parson everything everything you own like everything down to the chalice every single god knows it all gets sold at auction rinsed off you know because otherwise that's gross yeah they sell the cages sell the it all gets sold

at auction and it's fucking liquefied and given to the victims immediately that's it it that's a zero tolerance program right you want to you want to cure this problem like i guarantee they're not going to and and all the only way you just if it happens and you covered it up or you moved it around or you could demonstrate that people knew about it, the entire organization is disassembled immediately and sold, gone. Otherwise, how do you disincent this? Well, I think the problem is you're going to have apologists who will say, well, this particular organization

was not an evil organization. This was an evil person. But I mean, i'm with you when when you say yeah but you house the guy yeah but you basically protected the guy you know put all the good in one hand and then put a garden hose up your ass and see what you think no you're not wrong they they need to liquidate the thing but this guy didn't even go to prison like this this guy didn't see a second of prison. He just fucking died.

He got away with it. As an old man. He died as an old man after having done all of this bullshit. Yeah, he died in 2008, and he was doing this abuse in the 60s. So he's fucking just fine. The homeless children who had absolutely no chance. Literally the most vulnerable people. Literally.

Literally. Yeah. Well, and also, why are we still allowing religious organizations to look after children? Like, what is their special purview over children? Because remember all the good that they do, Tom. Remember all the good that they do. I actually think that you have the tax-free ability of those places allows for people who can't afford really high-end care for their children and they give the money to the church instead. I think that if they just had the oversight, then I'd be fine with it. I don't give a shit where your kid goes as long as there's somebody watching out for them.

Because clearly in these religious institutions, they can get away with a lot more. And it's really crazy. They should have the same oversight that all the other institutions have. I don't mind that they're watching children. I just want to make sure that they're actually getting watched while they're watching children. I just want to make sure that they're actually getting watched while they're watching them. So Jake, if people wanted to hear your show, your amazing show, the imaginaryfriendshow.com podcast, where would they go? That is a really great question. I'm really not sure where to send people if they wanted to go to the imaginaryfriendsshow.com podcast.

I suppose I could send them to imaginaryfriendsshow.com, but I'm not sure if they'd find anything. They might not find anything there. Okay, fair enough. At imaginaryfriendsshow.com. I just don't know. You know what I would try? Imaginaryfriendsshow.com.

I'm just throwing it out there. Look, you could try it. If I was looking for the podcast. But there is just no guarantee. There is no guarantee that there would be anything there. Because how the hell are we supposed to know? How do we know? It's a crazy madcap world we live in, Greg.

Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. So Cecil, this story comes from the Daily Mail. Sisters of Nazareth nuns forced children to eat their own vomit at Irish care homes. What occurs to me immediately is you need to rename that from care home to something else. Because there's no way to have a care home. What would you call an Irish abuse home?

Right. You know, the thing that really, you know, because the last story we talked to with Jake, we didn't get into it. But in that story, the kids were forced to eat their own vomit, too. Like, what is it? What's with the vomit fetish all of a sudden? Like, it's like, you know, we do stories week after week after week. And then, bam, two stories in a row, people are eating their own goddamn vomit. Where did that come from?

I don't even understand how you eat your own vomit. I know. Like, wouldn't it make you vomit? I know. Like, it's like a fucking Ouroboros at that point. Right. You just be like, can I just eat my tail? Can I just keep on vomiting up the vomit?

I can't. This is, like, at some point, it he'll just be like, this is fucking impossible. This is a Sisyphusian task. I cannot do this. If you vomit up vomit, it becomes food, though, right? It's like two negatives equal a positive. It's a cheeseburger. It's actually a cheeseburger.

It's reformed into a cheeseburger. Holy shit. And it started as spaghetti. So, I mean mean that's like a number you know that's pretty good like this story is just fucking unbelievably awful i want to point out that from the from this typical daily mail headline that is like a million 27 word headline it's like gone with the wind long i know man it's like and then it's got like three bullet points underneath that are also make some points afterwards tom so from the billet bullet point the bullet point

it says they were assaulted with sticks straps and my favorite kettle flexes what and i thought that's not a thing that's not a thing you can't assault somebody with a kettle flex it's like if somebody if you saw but somebody sent us a thing on twitter and it was things they call they call something in english and then they call it so it was the best one was tic-tac-toe they call it the battle of gridlington it's not it's not real but it's funny you know it's like it's the same thing i thought when i was like what did they uh what the fuck is a kettle flex like a kettle flex man i mean i'm actually gonna google it now right now because i bet it hurts whatever it is i bet it's not like a stuffed animal right it's not a pillow that's for sure it's not a soft feather boa it's fucking electric i'll tell you that because

the first thing that comes up is kettle flex the electric kettle flex i'm gonna hit images here and see if i can't get a picture of a kettle flex oh it's oh it's just an electric kettle it's like an electric water heating kettle because it's england and Or Irish and tea. What the fuck is the flex part of it? I don't know. Maybe the electricity is flexing. What the fuck? Name it something that is actually a thing. That's flex-tricity.

Flex-tricity? In Ireland, they have flex-tricity because it bends. It's real bendy. Flex-tricity needs to be a word starting right now um so yeah man these are like nuns like these are nuns and this is a children's home and i know i said this uh i think on jake's show because we just recorded uh on the imaginary friend show and like the first thing that i thought and you see so you had a good counterpoint but i want to bring it up the first thing I thought was then if you guys can't behave yourselves, then the religious just don't get to be a place that cares for children.

Like it just does. No, I think, I think your, your points on that are very true. You know, like, look, they need the same oversight. That was my point is they need the same oversight as, as regular secular institutions. So they need the same oversight where people are going in and when they see the person who is, you know, spooning their own vomit back into their mouth, they're like, hey, there might be a problem. You know, this is something we should actually address.

Or when somebody's got, you know, like when we were talking about the story earlier with Jake, when somebody's got a hose shoved up their ass and they're in a cage, you know, maybe there's some deeper issue they need to delve into and not just the person's anus, but you know, like, like what they need to make sure is that they have some sort of oversight. And the fact of the matter is, is that there is no oversight in a lot of these places. And the other problem is, is that the people who are maybe supposed to be doing the oversight are just shoveling this shit under the rug. They're just like, okay, you know, we got to make sure we hide this because we don't want to, we don't want to get a bad name or whatever. And like you said earlier is they

should just, just take the place apart. Be like, okay, well you done fucked up. I'm sorry, but you don't get to take care of kids anymore. And all your assets are liquidated to go pay for the poor kids who got abused because they're going to be scarred for the rest of their lives. Yeah. Right. And like, where rest of their lives. Yeah, right. And like, where's the downside on that model, right? That model of care says, look, if you guys want to be charged with the care of children, that's great. Just don't abuse the kid.

Like, where's the counter argument? Well, what if we abuse him just a little bit? Then, I mean, can we still keep our stuff? Where's the counter? How do you make that counter argument? abuse them just a little bit, then, I mean, can we still keep our stuff? Yeah. Where's the counter? How do you make that counter argument? How do you even say, like, how do you even stand up and say, like, well, but there could be, I mean, some abuse, right?

Like, a little bit? Like, maybe we can make them vomit, but then make them not eat the vomit. But we still have to clean it up. I mean, come, because, you know, I mean, we're still Irish nuns. I mean, come on. So we're going to take a break, and then we're going to come back. And when we're back, we'll tell you more stuff. Probably depressing

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Illinois Bishop, punish LGBT people like children if they get married. This is the same idiot in Illinois. It's the same idiot. Who exercised the entire state of Illinois. It's the same idiot. Who exercised the entire state of Illinois. And I just want to ask this guy, how's that turned out for you? Didn't work. Are we demon free? Didn't work. No, there's still the gay demon.

It's still the gay demon. Right. You know, I wonder, what's your metric for that? How do you measure your demon? Because you have to wonder. Sure. So you've got you've got to have some kind of a value right like pre-exorcism you're at you're you're at this demon level you know and then you do your exorcism and then they're all like fuck we

gotta get on equation we gotta go somewhere else now over the border see what's going on they're all hanging out at the fucking tollway oasis i'm going to chipotle i like it because the food is range free organic yeah it's no i i don't know you know that i think that metrics are the hot thing now right i mean I mean, this is what, you know, look, you want results as a business, as a, you know, even just as ashmos. We want to be able to look at metrics and be like, well, you know, what seven people this week are listening to our show? Right. And why? But, you know, you look at this guy and you're like, okay, well, what's the metric?

Like, you know, what is the thing you measure? Nothing. It's like measuring how many fucking angels dance on the head of a pin. Well, it's so funny, too, because it's like, all right, before, we're going to take a quick demon census. Yeah. So everyone who's a demon, raise your hand. Raise your hand, demons. And then nothing happens because, you know, demons aren't real.

Right. And then afterwards, he's like, like well good news is we got them all it's like walking into my bedroom and being like well got all the bears out of there no more bears in the bedroom i'd like to buy your rock so this guy's back and he's now talking about you know lgbt people and how they should be punished like children yeah if they get married yeah yeah i mean he's quoted as saying bad gay bad do you know what you did do you know what you did and he actually rolled up a newspaper and swatted at him to swat them on theires. He rubbed their noses in their marriage certificate.

Look at what you did. Look at what you did. You did this. He's got a spray bottle of water. And every time it's like. He's got a can full of rocks. He just shakes. Bad gays.

You're bad. They've got like a gay collar on. It's like a shock collar But when they get too close to another They just get zapped No no when they get too close it shoots out rainbows It's a fabulous collar too It matches everything

The rainbow is the new black This guy's an idiot. Why are we still talking about this guy? I don't know. Move on. Who cares? In the name of Jesus, we speak that. So this story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. Cardinal's attack on love and marriage castigates couples who do not procreate.

A prominent Spanish cardinal doesn't think marriages are legit if you don't have kids. Right. I guess. So, I don't know. Fuck you, dude. That's a stupid fucking thing to say. Like, it's just a stupid fucking thing to say. It's a horribly insensitive thing to say,

right? Because there are many couples that have reproductive issues that can't have children and need to either employ science to help them or they just don't. And to say that they're less than is an awful thing to say, especially people who actually want to take care of children. Like my wife and I, when she mentioned to her priest that she wasn't interested in having children, her priest told her she needed to get an annulment. And so she said, well, that sounds interesting. Why don't I just get rid of the church instead? Maybe I should just get rid of something.

And it's not my marriage. It's the church. And so she did. But the fact of the matter is, is that it really upset her and it made her feel like, you know, this thing, this institution that she believed in, that she, you know, worked for in ways, you know what I mean? As a, as a believer, you do things for it. You, you tithe, you, you know, you go to the bake sale, you do all the things, you know what I mean? Like you're following the tenants and then, you know, to basically get slapped in the face and basically say, look, you need to do more. You need to not just give us money and come to church every week and think about what we're

saying. You need to actually shit out some kids because then you'll only, you're only worthy then. Well, you know, it certainly wasn't for her. So she, you know, she left it, but there's other people out there because Sarah and I don't want kids. We just don't want kids. But there's other people out there that can't have kids but then adopt. What's wrong with that? What is the fucking – what's the problem with that? That seems like a good thing.

That seems like a great thing. But the fact of the matter is that this is another way for these guys to poo-poo gay marriage because then they could say, well, they're not procreators. And if they stick to that hardline procreation, then they can also – they inadvertently shame some people, but they shame the people that they want to shame, which is the gays. I think that's exactly it. I was thinking when I read this, I was thinking about my grandfather. My grandfather is Catholic on my mom's side. And my grandmother died. And my grandfather got remarried.

He's like 88 years old. He got remarried at like 84. He's not having any kids. Like, I met his new wife, Helen. She seems sweet. I don't think she's going to be popping having any kids. Like, I met his new wife, Helen. She seems sweet. I don't think she's going to be popping out any kids. Yeah, no, I don't think that's going to happen. She's like a thousand years old.

She just gives birth to like a dust bunny. You know what I mean? It's like... Oh, shit. to like a dust bunny you know oh shit he didn't get the room out that's awesome she coughs out some mummy of some sort

it's like a cloud of dust the doctor's like she's so old she gives birth to a middle aged man the kid comes out he's like 38 he's an accountant She gives birth The kid comes out He's like 38 He's an accountant

He's got a PhD That's awesome What were we talking about who cares let's just move on we're not talking about oh man this is going to be a fast show

we're like only 10 minutes in it's a super fast show now but let's go on he says I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing. That tells me that there is clothing that's improper for a Christian woman. All right. I mean, that's just logic. There is clothing that is improper for a Christian woman.

Now, he says the clothing must be modest. Modest. This is very important. It's literally proper clothing with modesty is the way it goes in the original text. So, with modesty. My wife has a really good thing that she says. She goes, if your clothing is a frame for your face,

from which the glory of God is to shine, it's proper. If it draws attention to your face. If your clothing draws attention to your body, to outline it, to make it noticed then it's sensual it's sensual what you're doing is wrong wow this story comes from the raw story women are sinners if clothes outline the body to make it noticed i love this guy He's doing like a field goal symbol. Actually, what it looks like, he's got his fingers up in the air and he's going to point him straight at him and be like, I'd hit that. Well, I was looking at his thumbs.

It's like, what's got two thumbs and like shapeless women? This guy. This show is off the rails. Oh, man. Oh, we need to record at fucking midnight. God, it's the worst thing we've ever put out. People, all the people who hate when we laugh. Oh, my God.

They're so mad right now. Holy shit, they're fucking furious. They're pacing, they're so mad. How dare you laugh? I can't believe you're enjoying yourself. Don't enjoy each other's company, you fuckers. I'm going to throw my iPod away. That's how mad I am.

I'm just throwing it in the garbage right now. I'm not here anyway. All right, so this Southern Baptist, who cares? This guy in virginia he wants women to dress like ghosts i guess that's what he wants he wants to casper up the audience he wants every woman to look like an amoeba is what he wants everybody you're just walking around his congregation it's just like i'll be honest tom he doesn't want amoebas because they have too much form right they actually have a shade it's it i mean you if if it outlines the body how can you wear clothes that do not outline the body they drape on your body wear tents you have to like i wear a hang glider or something

you would have to wear some kind of a wire infrastructure underneath your clothes to fool people looking at your body into thinking they were looking at something else you have to wear like it like i'm thinking of like the camouflage tents that they put over like tanks in world war ii so the nazi planes couldn't find them right like every woman is just wearing a fucking sniper ghillie suit. They should just wear tanks. Like women should just walk around in tanks. Just wearing armor. That's it.

Women are just dressed as mechs. That's just it. They're just fucking transformers. And what about the men? Like the men can wear fucking Speedos and like fucking Phelous suits. It doesn't matter. Like who cares? You know, the thing about this – you know, this is interesting.

One of the things that I was thinking about when I was thinking about this was it's got to be real hard to be somebody who buys into this as a you know as a dude or even as a girl i mean it's harder for a dude but i think because of all the testosterone that's constantly coursing through your body make you know trying to influence your decisions to make you make the wrong ones trying yeah but um but you know it's it's it's got to be so hard for somebody in that situation because they think that looking at somebody lustfully is a bad – such a bad, awful thing. of, um, like, you know, when we think about it, when you and I think about it, we don't think it's a bad thing to be, you know, to think of somebody in a way like that. I don't, I know, I know. I personally don't think it's bad to do that. I certainly, you know, I think it's bad to do it and dehumanize the person.

Obviously. I think that that's bad. Um, but I don't think it's bad for you to see somebody and be like, man, that person's gorgeous. And almost, I mean, sometimes you can be distracted by somebody's beauty. You know what I mean? Because it's a physical thing and it's your brain is – because I'm an animal and I recognize my animalistic traits. I try to – but I think that I get a bonus there because what I think is I'm putting those animalistic traits in their place.

These people are starting at the other end of the spectrum, right? They're at the other end of the spectrum and they're like, I got to be perfect. I got to be perfect. I got to be perfect. And I can't help but think how bad that's going to feel when they're not. Oh, that's a good point. That's, that's where they get. That's, you know, I was thinking about this and I was thinking about the other day about salvation, right? I was thinking about how, I think the idea of salvation is probably the worst idea in religion right now or ever or ever you know I think salvation is a horrible idea because salvation has to have sin in order to exist and sin's just some nonsense like it's just it's a way to guilt trip people into buying all of

your your bullshit sure um you know you got to sell them that they're broken in order to sell them that they're fixed first yeah so but yeah man it's like you start off with this idea like, well, if you lust after, you know, the opposite sex, then you're fucked. You know, you're just it makes you a fucking bad person and you should worry about that. And here's all the guilt you should feel when you lust after somebody of the opposite sex. If you just don't have that, if you're just like, yeah, I'm fucking lusting after the opposite sex because i'm of the opposite sex yeah and that's why i'm doing it and like i'll just you know i'm not gonna act on it i'll still behave like a gentleman and that's it then you have no conflict like your life is fine like you you don't have guilt you don't have difficulty but man the fucking and religious people go through hell over their uh you know sexual feelings and like their fucking lustful thoughts and they just they're fucking ripped

into pieces by that shit i've never been ripped into pieces by that shit i've never thought once like man i shouldn't be thinking impure thoughts if anything i'm like i'm enjoying this impure thought right exactly i would like to have, I'm enjoying this impure thought. Right. Exactly. I would like to have another one just like it. Like, you know, like three to five minutes. I totally, I totally agree. And I think that, you know, when you put yourself on that pedestal and you say, you know, I'm better than this, I'm better than this. It's like, I put myself on there and I'm like, I'm better than this because I'm not an animal. I know I'm an animal. I know I'm part of the animal goddamn kingdom. But I'm

better than this and I can get around this and I can control this. And I think what they're, you know, they're coming at it from like, you know, like, I don't even know. Like, I'm a fucking, I'm better than an animal. I'm the fucking angel or whatever the fuck they think they are. Right. And they're coming at it from a point of view

that I think is just, they're setting themselves up to fail. Well, it's that whole, like, nobody's perfect other than Jesus thing, right? Like, Jesus was the only one that was perfect. So if you're not perfect, then you're sinning. Oh, fuck, that's bad. And if you sin, then you go to hell. Fuck, that's worse. Yeah.

So now you need to feel bad about it. Because then if you don't feel bad, then you can't properly repent. So, like, the feeling bad is built into that shit. Let's fuck. I'll fuck anything that moves. So these next two stories, Cecil, I fucking love, man. Did you see the Grammys? Did you watch them?

That's a stupid question. I did not see a Grammy. I didn't either. I don't even know why I asked you that. I know you didn't watch the fucking Grammys. I didn't either. I don't even know why I asked you that. I know you didn't watch the fucking Grammys. I don't watch. You know, on occasion, I'll watch one award show, and that's the Oscars. But it's really only at the end.

Like, last year, I watched it, and I was mixing our show. And it was glorious because I didn't have to listen to it. And I could just look up once in a while and see the winner is. to it and I could just look up once in a while and see the winner is and I didn't have to listen to anybody make really bad strained jokes or really crazy bad speeches

at the end of a thing or get fucking played off by the orchestra like none of that shit it was great it was glorious but I don't watch any other things I stopped watching the Oscars after everyone's a critic yeah I don't blame you I just don't blame you I just can't do it don't blame you well i guess the grammys were a fucking shenanigans i know there's fucking this total craziness there was there was like a bunch of couples got married

um you know same sex and uh opposite sex couples got married in a in a ceremony by like i guess officiated by queen latifah that's awesome and then sang then sang out by Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, and Madonna. And it fucking just set everybody into a fucking tailspin. They were fucking a tizzy. I think it's a tizzy. I think it's when you get a bunch of crazy people that's defined like, you know, like there's a murderer crows. There's a tizzy of conservatives. Right, there's a tizzy of nutters.

No, it's a tizzy of conservatives. That's what it that needs to be a it is the thing now i just fucking made it up that's fantastic every time they and is it like three or more it's three or more it's a tizzy of conservatives and if jake wasn't on this show i would call this show a tizzy of conservatives but since jake's on it we got to call it Imaginary Friends Show Part 3 or whatever. Damn. Can we call it like a tizzy of Imaginary Friends Show? So a bunch of anti-gay activists, including Rush Limbaugh, Fox News' Todd Starnes, and the American Family Association's Brian Fisher and Tim Wildman, have been totally fucking freaking out about the performance involving a mass marriage that included same-sex couples. The Illinois Family Association,

which is an affiliate of the AFA, joined the fray, sending out an email attacking the award show for contributing to the destruction of marriage. They called it a tragic freak show and a gaudy spitball hurled, and this is my favorite, in the all-seeing eye of a holy God. Well, I'll tell you what, Cecil. If I were an omnipotent, all-seeing God, I knew this was coming. I did nothing to stop it you made bodies specifically you crafted

the human body specifically so you could be offended by it right right and then they hurled a spitball in my eye and my response was fucking the same radio silence as after every other event in all of human history. It's always been, yes. Right. Yeah. So awesome. I like this part. It says this person in their fucking screed goes on. Who is this person anyway that's saying all this garbage that they actually created?

Higgins, Laura Higgins. Higgins says, it is money that motivates his eager embrace of his wife's immodesty. Now he's talking about Jay-Z and Beyonce, happily married Jay-Z and Beyonce. It says, it is money that motivates his eager embrace of his wife's immodesty or pride that he has access to her body when all the other leering men do not? If it's money, how is he no different from a pimp? And my suggestion is ask Jay-Z if he's a pimp.

Right? Ask him if he's a pimp right now. See what he says. I bet you he would say, bitch, I'm a pimp. That kind of cracked me up. There's also another part too where they're talking about jay-z and beyonce's daughter um they say what would jay-z and beyonce want their daughter to perform like her mother for the pleasures of men what do they think about an 18 year old blue ivy recreating her mother's performance i don't know is she on stage at the grammys right because

i don't think they give two fucks like girl making bank who gives a shit it's so funny that you say that because the next line after that it says but in a cd club for the eyes of less expensively attired and botoxed men and women it's like well fucking context matters fucking a and you think that she's gonna be a strip club? She's fucking the daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z. You don't think she's going to have a record contract if she wants all of them? She could get a record contract for singing Happy Birthday. She could get a record contract right now when she's like a fucking infant.

it's it's such a ridiculous idea that like well if a woman dances like in a sexually suggestive manner then she's a whore yeah yeah i'd like and the man is a pimp it's like well first of all can i pay money and have sex with beyonce no no then Then she's not a whore and he's not a pimp. Yeah. She's a woman who dances and he's married to her. Right. That's it. Like it's like, how is it different? Well, it actually differs because there's no exchange of sex for money. And they're calling it soft core porn, Tom. These are people who don't even know what hardcore porn or softcore porn is if they call that softcore porn yeah this is not in the in 2014 with the internet right this is not softcore porn honey i got i got news for you like if you google softcore porn and turn your safe search off you'll see a hell of a lot more than beyonce dancing at the ground i watched a lot of softcore porn as a kid and it

was always scrambled and you're like, is that a boobie? Is that a titty? I can't tell. I can't tell. Maybe they're touching. I don't know. I'd still watch that. I'm not going to lie. I would watch that too. If it was on there, I'd be like, huh, maybe I could see a boobie. I don't know. But the fact is,

I remember Cinemax and all that stuff. That was like, it was simulated sex. It was simulated sex. It was simulated sex. It was not, um, not penetration or whatever, but this is totally different. It is not simulated sex. It is a dance. You've got to fucking think you've got to stop thinking that the only dance you can do is like the Charleston.

Like you've got to stop, you know, like with the fucking hands over your goddamn knees and your fucking waka, waka, waka in, like you've got to think to yourself, you know, the times they are a changing, they passed me by. I'm an old person given fucking birth to dust bunnies at this point. And I am fucking out of fucking touch with reality. You know, I'll be honest with you, You know, as a, I'm a 40 year old guy. So I look at this stuff and I see like, you know, like, um, uh, what's her name? The girl with the, the, the twerking girl. That was like a while ago. Miley Cyrus.

She did like a twerking thing and she's on stage and she's doing all this stuff. And it's like, you know, I, I'm a 40 year old guy. I wasn't even offended. I was just like, oh, that's just like a stuff. And it's like, you know, I'm a 40-year-old guy. I wasn't even offended. I was just like, oh, that's just like a dancing thing. They're like dancing. Okay, great. Who cares? Like, because I remember there was like a fucking hubbub about it.

The next thing was like, oh, my God, I can't believe she did all the things. And I'm just like, she came out in like a scantily clad outfit and like kind of treated a big foam finger as a cock or something. But like it was suggestive, but it wasn't like, I but like it was suggestive but it wasn't like i mean it wasn't like it wasn't something you could beat off to you know like you look at it it's like oh man i hear you just like okay good that's great she's doing a thing like whatever i mean i guess i mean i just i just fail to see i fail to see why these people's fucking underwear is so shoved so far up their ass. They're freaking out about every little thing that people do.

Isn't that funny? It's like it's suggestive. It suggests something. Okay, well, then it's provocative and it provokes and fine. You know, that's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Let your imagination.

It's okay. It's okay. Let your imagination. What happens, I think, is these people get, they live a life that is so closeted from the norm, from any of the regular culture. And then they watch something like the Grammys with the intention to find something to be offended about. Do you remember when we would do like, everyone's a critic. And there'd be like the scene with like you would see Angelina Jolie's tits and there'd be like all these people on these sites that would post

be like, you know, like on the Christian sites. Remember there was like that Christian rape movie or whatever. And we'd watch it and be like you'd like read the things and like, oh my god I saw her bare side of her side boob and it was so offensive. My kids saw it too. And you're just like, shut the fuck up. You watched a thing that was kids saw it too and you're just like shut the fuck up you watched

a thing that was like rated r and now you're offended by it you're a dipshit right what did you like you know you know what the snake is when you pick the snake up you know it's it's the grammys it's an award show it's gonna have dancing it's 2014 the dancing's going to be suggestive you know what i'll make a fucking psychic prediction there's gonna be suggestive dancing in the 2015 grammys hey you know what i'll take it a step further there's gonna be suggestive dancing at all of the grammys forever there's never not going to be some suggestive dance that somebody can get fucking worked up about because people get worked up about all dances throughout the course of all time in all cultures dance is kind of inherently sexual right it involves the movement of the body and the hips and it's it's to a beat

and it's rhythmic and it is i mean like all cultures get fucking worked up about some guy. Oh, the fucking Charleston. That's outrageous. You know? Like, somebody was upset about that at some point. And now it's quaint. Yeah, the flapper dancing was probably really provocative at its day. Right. All that shit was, because it's fucking dancing.

Right. And you don't like dancing? Then just don't watch the dancing show. It's like fucking Footloose. It's like we live in Footloose. Well, with the music and the kids these days. With their dancing and their body hips moving around. Shut the fuck up.

This one is demonic. Yeah, oh yeah. This one is Katy Perry, and we're just watching it here in the studio if you happen to be watching. But it is demonic. There's an altar built. She's dressed as a witch. There are beasts on either side of her. With horns.

There's a lot of creepy things going on. Then she has the Knights Templar cross on her that lights up. She then dances around the broom. She puts a circle around her. The circle turns to fire. And then she's burned at the stake eventually. I mean, it's full-fledged witchcraft and demonic glorification. I look at this and then I look at

and I remember when I first saw this last night, the first thing that came to my mind was the Democratic Convention. And the Democratic Convention where they denied God three times.

So this also comes from Right Wing Watch. Glenn Beck was deeply disturbed by Sunday night's Grammy Awards show, but not for the same reasons. In this case, he was all worked up about Katy Perry's dark horse dance thing. Dark horse? Because I guess it was actually, he said that it is actually demonic. It's actually demonic. She was performing actual witchcraft.

Witchcraft. She was. She was performing witchcraft. She has the power to make my pants feel real tight. Real tight. I mean, to be honest, though, I mean, I'd probably fuck me if I had blue hair and fake eyelashes. So. Fuck me if I had blue hair and fake eyelashes.

So. So, yeah, Glenn Beck, I guess, of all the things to get worked up about. And don't you think it's the same issue, man? God, it is. He's turned on. He watches this and it's fucking hot. He's like, man, Katy Perry is. She's beautiful. A beautiful woman.

She's a beautiful woman. That is fun to see do stuff. Yes. Do things. Do more of the things. Watch her shop. Are you kidding me? Right?

On Amazon. On Amazon. She doesn't have to move. She can sit on the couch. Yep. Dude, I would. In a Snuggie. I would seriously tune into her reading the newspaper for two hours.

Like Katy Perry reads the newspaper. Like, good. I'm going to T-ball this. Colleen, I'm going to go ahead and T-ball this. This is all right. No, this is good. I got this. Don't you boop-a-boop-a.

We are not fast-forwarding through this. She's not at the funnies. I tell you when this is over. Boop-a-booping. That's not going to happen. So, yeah, it's full-fledged witchcraft, Cecil. It's actual. Never mind that no spells were cast well no it's not just witchcraft though Tom I don't know if you heard this because you didn't listen

to it I didn't but at a point he says this reminds me of the democratic convention come on I swear to you it says it there I was, are you what the fuck is happening to your brain? But, you know, the other thing, too, is that they talk about witchcraft. And this is we've encountered this so many times. They talk about witchcraft like it's an actual thing. Like they it's so funny. It's laugh out loud funny that grown men are sitting around microphones terrified that witchcraft is really a thing. I could you, I mean, okay, take witchcraft out of it.

Take Katy Perry out of it. Can we keep her in? No, keep her in actually. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Let's just keep her in. She just has less clothes on now in this version.

No, but imagine them sitting around and talking about like the candy man like they're like what you were standing in front of the mirror and you said candy man three times i have a funny story about that my kid yesterday yesterday said dad if you say uh what was it bloody mary in the mirror what will happen will bloody mary come out of the mirror and kill you we're standing in the bathroom and he was brushing his teeth. Oh, this is awesome. And he's like, Kevin on the bus told me that he would. And I looked at him and I was like, well, let's try it.

Let's try it. We're standing in the bathroom. Did he try it with you? Was he afraid? No. He's like, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. And then I said it all silly first. And then he's like, no, you have to say it like this.

Bloody Mary. And he I said it all silly first. And then he's like, no, you have to say it like this. And he said it like a bunch of times. And you can tell he was kind of nervous, but like the lights are on and his dad's right there. Like we said it and I'm like, well, nothing happened. Brush your teeth. You know, you'll die later, but you're fine now. You know, like Kevin on the bus is an idiot. I'm just saying. It's so fucking funny. That's the same shit. My fucking first grader didn't buy it. Right. He just did the test.

He just ran the experiment. These people think that they're casting spells, that Katy Perry. I mean, Katy Perry is casting a spell, but it's not the spell you think. is casting a spell but it's not the spell you think like i mean she's you know the thing is is like like she's not casting a spell like a fucking you know she's not doing some and it's funny because they even say it like full-fledged witchcraft and demonic glorification like wasn't katie perry if i'm correct in this i had thought i read somewhere that she was a she was like a christian singer before like she her folks are like devout evangelicals like i i thought I read somewhere that she was a, she was like a Christian singer before. Like she, her folks are like devout evangelicals. I thought I read somewhere that she was like a Christian,

like she was a Christian pop girl or whatever. And then she got into like regular pop stuff and the clothes started coming off and people realized how talented she was. And they were like, oh, well why don't we put her somewhere else and auto-t because she's got a lot of talents, whatever it is. But, you know, the fact of the matter is, is that is that I thought that she was she was devout or something like that. And it's like, you know, she would be offended if you said this about her. She'd be like, man, I just I just doing something artistic. And it's funny because like like they don't even recognize art as a thing because they're just saying like, oh, well, she's literally a witch and she's literally doing this stuff. And you're like, you don't understand that.

Like these are people who would watch the Exorcist movie and be like, that girl really died or that girl really – I guess the priest really died or whatever. Because they can't distinguish between art and reality. distinguish between art and reality. So we had to kind of burn through this episode tonight because we were on with Jake for so long and it was great. So if you're interested, catch Jake's show this week. It's imaginaryfriendshow.com. We appear on it for the whole show. So you get like a double dose of us and actually you'll get a triple dose of us this week because, uh, after this, uh, before this airs, before this actually goes live on Saturday night, we would have missed it, but you can still watch it. Um, we are going to be on gamma atheist show. Uh, it's a Google hangouts. It's atheist hangouts. We're going to be on his show. Uh, his name is David and, uh,

he runs a show that's a live show. So we're actually going to be doing a live show. I don't know what we were thinking. Um, but we're going to be on, uh, with him tomorrow night. So, uh, so there's like three hours of us this week. So we can just end this very quickly by just going over a couple of emails. Thank you, everybody who sent in emails. But we wanted to read a couple of these. Tom, did you want to read the complaint we got? The title of this email is complaint. Dear you and the other one. That's a good one. I think he's calling you the other one. I am complaining about your podcast and particular the specific aspects of it that I do not like.

There is far too much of one thing and not enough of another. Some of the subject matter you cover is of no interest to me whatsoever. And the rest is ruined by both of the hosts saying and doing things that either annoy or offend me. And sometimes most of the time, both. me and sometimes most of the time both just because you spend several hours of your time each week recording and producing before uploading the resulting file to your costly servers does not give you the right to expect me to copy the free feed into my podcast app and waste hours of my time each month listening to it i'm not paying ten dollars per month for your podcast subscription i'll admit but many other people are able to produce podcasts that I like and cover subjects in

a way that interests and entertains me. So why, oh why, oh why can't you? Until this happens, I will not be listening to any further episodes except, of course, to listen closely every week to see if you manage to act on this specific and helpful advice. listen closely every week to see if you manage to act on this specific and helpful advice if not i shall clearly have no other option but to email you and complain once more awesome this is the best this is the best yours most helpful i fucking love this is great captain phineas g biscuit kfc bbc b.a barracus kfc oh that's awesome sean sent that in it was great thanks so much sean that's so funny that's so great i laughed out loud we got a we got a four star review on

itunes because we can't use dynamic processing correctly or something someone said that it's like what some of your stuff is louder than your other stuff. And it hurts my ears when I listen in headphones. It's like, sorry, man. I put a lot of time into making sure the levels are right. Sometimes Google, sometimes GarageBand fucks that up. And I'm not going to go back and fix it. Wow. I didn't see that one.

No, it's fine. Four stars is fine. It's very nice. You believe them as it's nice. I'm just busting your rocks. Thank everybody who leaves us five-star reviews on iTunes. And actually, we're getting close to 800. So we get a little push here.

We get a little push. We might be able to break 800. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. And I've only written like 730 of them. If you get a chance to leave one, we would be tickled if you left a nice review on iTunes. If you're thinking about leaving a bad one, maybe go listen to something else. Don't.

Just don't. I'm just saying don't. And listen to something else because there's plenty of other stuff you can listen to. We got an email which made me laugh. This is from episode 35. Eric sends in a message and says, something occurred to me as I was listening to your segment about the preacher going on about Fox News to say that the Antichrist wants people

to be dependent on the government. You said there's no subclass of people who wants to have no job and government support them. What about the retirees who rely on social security? You know, the largest portion of Fox News audience. Thanks, Eric. That's hilarious. You made me laugh.

I thought that was great. We get a message from Gene. Gene was one of the winners in the shirt contest because he sent in his vote for the Stitcher Awards. And we are giving him – we gave him a code that was donated to us by ThreadsofDoubt.com. Tom, you bought some shirts from Threads of Doubt. I bought a shirt from Threads of Doubt. And, you bought some shirts from Threads of Doubt. I bought a shirt from Threads of Doubt. And Gene got a free shirt from Threads of Doubt. And we're going to post Gene's picture this week as the image for our show.

So thank you, Gene, for sending the picture yourself. Looks great. I hope that the shirts that we sent out make their way to the people that we sent them out to. I think they should have. We got the shipping labels, so they definitely went out. We just don't know if they're going to make it there soon. Yeah, let us know when you get them.

Send us a picture if you don't mind. We'd love to see you guys with the shirts. Yeah, as long as you guys have them, you can fucking blur your face out if you want to if you don't want to be shown on there. I'm showing Gene's just because he sent it in, and I figured he wanted us to, so I'm going to show it.

If Gene tells me to take it down, I'll take it down. But it doesn't look like he minds. He looks like a pretty happy guy. So I don't think he's going to mind. It doesn't strike me as a shy fella. It doesn't strike me as a guy who's going to be mad that somebody saw him. So this week, remember to catch us on both the Imaginary Friends show because we're on for the whole show. And Jake is a hilarious guy. And actually that show might have even turned out better than this show. It was very funny to record. No, show, and Jake is a hilarious guy. And actually, that show might have even turned out better than this show. It was very funny to record. It might have.

No, almost certainly because Jake does a better show. But it was very funny to record, and Jake was very funny. So check it out if you get a chance, imaginaryfriendshow.com. And then I'm sure that the Google Hangout, the Atheist Hangouts we're going to be on tomorrow is going to be good and awesome too. So check that out as well. I'll leave a link to both of those shows in the show notes for this. This is episode 136. So check it out on DissonancePod.com.

And that's it for this week. So hope you get your OD of us and we'll leave you as always with the skeptic's creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral

brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues. Temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this.

The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you