Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 137: They Live (pronounced Live)

Episode Date: February 10, 2014

      We were On the Scathing Atheist: We appeared on David’s Show – Atheist Hangouts: We also appeared of Jake’s Show: Here is the podcast we mentioned at the end of the show:

So in our excitement to record a live show, we missed a few things on the notes. And one of the things that we missed was that we were on a couple shows recently, and we wanted to make sure that we got this in and we didn't in the actual show. So I'm going to do a quick recording beforehand, and then I'll let the show play. But I wanted to let you know the shows that we were on recently. We were on Jake from Australia's show, TheImaginaryFriendShow.com podcast. You can find the link for that in episode 137. We were on Jake from Australia's show, The Imaginary Friends Show.com podcast. You can find the link for that in episode 137.

We were also on Gamma Atheist Show, Atheist Hangouts. And you can listen to that or watch it via YouTube. You'll find that link on 137 too. And then finally, just recently, we were on No Illusion and Heathen Wright's show, The Scathing Atheist. And we were on that show on episode 51 on their website. You can also find a link, again, episode 137. We want to thank everybody who's had us on recently, and they're great shows. You should check out each one of those shows. And now, without further ado, here's our app commercial. Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone?

Buy the app. Go to dissonancepod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Hi, people. This is Matthew from Utah. Just a couple of quick points I think you might enjoy. I was a believing Mormon for 33, 34 years of my life,

and I've been out for three or four years, studied my way out. That talk that you guys mentioned several episodes ago on the Mark E. Peterson and masturbation is absolutely real. I say art, I'm not even in it anymore. The Mormon Church is a treasure trove of crazy shit like that, which leads me to way, way back on your episodes where you asked about crazy shit people prayed about.

And that was actually one of the things I prayed about a lot as a teenager, which was, now in hindsight, it's ridiculous and funny to me. But I would sit there and promise and promise Jesus, please help me, just don't masturbate again. And I promise I'll never do it again.

Please forgive me. And it was just this massive amount of guilt. And of course, like most teenage boys, I wound up, you know, masturbating again. So it was like this repetitive cycle of failure and guilt that, you know, and I just kept asking for him to somehow make me not be able to masturbate, which God failed miserably at. Anyways, thanks a lot, Glory, hope. See you later. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason. That's your cue. Yeah, I'm going to cue now. No, that's you. You want me to go now? That's your cue. Is it now that you want me to go? That's your cue. Should I look at you, Cecil, or should I look into the microphone?

I keep freaking forgetting how to do this. You forget how to do a lot of things. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode recorded yesterday this is it's like live well it's live in the sense that we're actually uh sitting near each other we are near each other and we are not going to it's so funny because you got to look at me through the

corner of your eye you're just like i can't not look at the person i'm talking to like i know i'm not that's the hard thing it's like it's so fucking rude not to look at somebody you know she is one of these booms because i'm totally looking at you right now what's up bitch what i gotta maybe if i kind of move my mouth move yeah the side there i can twist and shout no this is super weird not to be able to look at who you're talking to weird so yeah we're recording i think we should apologize to the audience for the fucking poor quality of this episode like it's going to be worse than normal and that's really saying something like when you're struggling under the bar of competence on a regular basis

and then you're taking it a notch lower you're really doing yourself some significant favors well i i wanted to talk why don't we get do a little talking about the ken ham bill nye debate before we get into anything else because that was the big story this week and it's not really on our notes but we should probably talk about it if it's not on the notes i cannot talk about it no i am you added to the fucking notes right now where I'm not talking about it. I refuse to do it. I refuse. I'm not going to do it. Well, Cecil, how much of the debate did you watch? I watched the first.

Okay, so I kind of have to admit I didn't pay a lot of attention to Ken Ham's opening statement. That being said. I don't know why. I mean, geez, such powerful rhetoric. I can't believe you weren't swayed. This guy made a cell phone and then uh i i listened to some of uh bill nye's opening debate but one of the most uh the part that i really tuned in for was the question and answer session when they were going back and

forth with audience questions and stuff like that was the most of the the bulk of the debate i spent my time there yeah i listened to the first probably 40 minutes of it, which is like the least productive 40 minutes of my time that I've ever, other than recording this show. This show. Yeah. Other than recording. Clearly this show. Yeah.

Very much. And this specifically, this actual episode. So in the first 40 minutes are fucking just absolute blither blather because they each get, they each get a little bit of time in the beginning like any debate like to present like this is going to be basically the thrust of my argument fucking ham time is like yeah so i'm going to focus on redefining the word science i'm just like that's not the question the question had nothing to do with whether or not science is being properly defined and then he goes off on this like, well, there's historical science

and then there's like observational science. Nye's like, yeah, that's not really a true. That's not a thing that happens. I think the best thing that came out of the debate for me particularly was Bill Nye's assertion that the Bible is not a predictive model. So we can look at science as a predictive, the things that can predict the future,

because, you know, in four and a half billion years, we're going to, the sun is going to get really big and swallow the earth, right? It's going to turn into a red giant. It's going to swallow the earth. Science is predicting that. Science predicts, you know, here's another really important thing

that science can predict, whether or not an asteroid is going to hit our planet. Right. I mean, that's something really important. We can see that and be like, oh yeah, that's not going to, it's going to come close, but it's is going to hit our planet. Right. I mean, that's something like really important. We can see that and be like, Oh yeah, that's not going to, it's going to come close,

but it's not going to actually hit us. The Bible doesn't have that. The Bible doesn't have those, uh, those predictive models. They, they have prophecy, but again,

it's always this sort of ad hoc, um, uh, you know, I guess it's like, uh, you know, it's,

it's always after the fact. It's always that. It's always that. Oh, well, we predicted 9-11. Yeah, well, you didn't really predict it beforehand. You can sort of point to a passage afterwards and say, this is what predicts 9-11. And so I think that that's probably the best thing that that I learned from the debate that I had never thought of before. I'd never heard that debate tactic used against those. Well, it's funny because I think what, you know, they each they each focused on different things. Right. never heard that debate tactic used against those. Well, it's funny because I think what, you know, they each, they each focused on different things, right? So, and that's pretty typical of these kinds of debates. Each one's going to psych,

they're going to, they're going to start to drill down into the question itself to find a niche within that question. I see this all the time. So I watch a lot of debates that they, that they can exploit a niche in the question that the other one hopefully hasn't thought of. And that's how they're going to sort of wedge their way into the conversation. And I think that it's interesting that what Nye explored, I think, was the viability question. So the actual question that was posed in the debate is, is creation a viable model of origins in today's modern scientific era? And I think Ham said, well, let's look at what scientific means. Let's look at the word science.

And I think that's where he tried to clumsily stagger about. But I think what Nye did is he looked at the word viable. Like, is it what makes something a viable model? What makes something viable? What makes something viable is whether it's predictive. Like, that is a hallmark of of science like that's why science is a useful thing yeah it's like it would be i mean because it really is true it's like well how useful is knowing that you know something happened if you can't use the knowledge of the

past to say something significant about the present or the future it's like it's at that point it becomes a trivia you know it's a matter of trivia like well something fucking in 1776 happened you're just like well fucking what does it mean for me i don't know nothing okay why we spend our time on it it's like it's like knowing that like ducks have a corkscrew penis right like what the okay it's trivia they got a corkscrew shaped penis do they have to like spin around when they have sex they have to like go in and out they like do that's the fucking drill. Do they do a cartwheel?

They're like every time, every thrust is a cartwheel. No, but it's where Sarah Palin got her drill baby drill mantra. It all just comes back to duck fucking. It really does. It really does. It's all duck fucking. That's awesome. This co-ed bathroom bill is going to violate your wives and daughters

privacy in every public restaurant in america i've never been to a public restaurant all the restaurants i've been to are private you know what the bible says in first corinthians 6 nope says this do you not know that the inherit the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of god they they will what kind of benefits can we still inherit grandma's house the bible says don't be deceived neither the because that's real will inherit the kingdom of benefits should they receive? Can we still inherit Grandma's house? The Bible says, don't be deceived. Because that's real. No, man. Death tax. The kingdom of God.

Such was some of you. But you died from a death panel. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and in the spirit of our God. If they're not going to get eternal benefits in heaven, why should we give them government rewards here on this earth? Well. I don't think we should thanks you mad because fucking people were asking you yeah klingenschmidt klingerschmidt you know we

were corrected that it's like somebody's like you know it's really klingenschmidt and i looked and i was like oh i've been wrong every time and you know what i didn't care any time that i was wrong i like klingerschmidt better i don't know if you ever watched MASH, but there was a guy by the name of Klinger. He used to dress in a dress. Yes! And so Klingerschmitt, I think, it's like, you know, it makes sense for me. I like that. You know, calling this guy what he hates the most

is awesome to me. It makes me laugh. That's actually fantastic. I wonder if just subconsciously that's... Because I watched MASH like crazy when I was a kid because it was on like 14 hours a day on certain channels so it really was it was for a long time it was on like all the channels all the time so i guess like klingenschmidt's argument here i mean it seems pretty solid like if you're not going to get if klingenschmidt decides because you got to have you know we have the obamacare death panel situation right so now in order to have this

we would have to have a heaven panel right because he's saying like if you can't have any government uh benefits if you're not going to get heaven benefits so you have to establish some kind of heaven-based criteria like so you'd have to like go in and like sit in some office but it can't be a government office because you don't have the benefit of the government yet so you had to go to like church or something and like fill out a form and be like uh yeah it looks like you are not eligible for uh welfare because you're going to hell there's like an angel that comes down with a big denied stamp this poor angel you know it's funny when you said the death panel thing the first thing i thought of is like there's a bunch of people sitting at a table and there's one person who walks up and

like please sir i'd like to leave they're just like no and then they pull one of those chains and then it just opens a trap door underneath them and they go oh no yeah that's exactly that's what i think of when i think of that it drops him into that pit from like star wars not the it's the one where he has to like luc that. It drops him into that pit from Star Wars. It's the one where Luke has to fight people. I think that was Star Wars, right? That was a Star Wars. Yeah.

We had to fight the Rancor monster. The big monster with the bone. The one that had the best toy. I just remember that that toy was the best toy. It had a good toy. Because it was a big brown poo monster looking thing. It was just like a lump. It was like a big undifferentiated brown lump with teeth it was like a brown grimace if like grimace had rabies

it's like if grimace and kujo had corkscrew sex then then you get a klingerschmick and I like, uh, I, I think that, you know, when we're talking about this guy and we're talking about what he's, what he's, what his plans are and what his ideas are. I think that this guy is clearly thinks that there's no separation between church and state. I mean, this is a guy who does not understand that there is a separation at all. And when he's talking about using Bible passages to, to define whether or not you're a good or bad person based on, you know, I mean, we're talking about bronze age book here for crying out loud. It's not like this is, this is not modern morality philosophy. This is, this is, you know, thousands of years at this point,

we're looking at a book that has no relevance today whatsoever and you know they're starting a corner case even this stuff because it doesn't talk at all about you know uh in this case they're talking about transgender people it doesn't talk at all i mean the idea of a transgender person is a really modern idea yeah i mean there's nothing in the bible where it's like and lo when you wore the earrings and the tight skirt. Like, no, that's not in there. Getting an operation. Like sex change operations.

And, you know, I mean, this is really just there so that the person doesn't get embarrassed. You know, if you're if you're transgender and you're working your way through the through whatever it is, whether you're going to eventually become a full woman or not, or who cares? Right. Who fucking cares? That's between you and your partner so nobody should care anyway but the idea is is that you know you don't want to be walking into the dude's bathroom if that's still the equipment that you're using you know in a full dress and having to hike your dress up and piss in the urinal or the opposite of a woman you know walking into a a guy somebody who's trying to be a guy or pass himself off as a guy, walking in to a woman's bathroom.

Well, it's always addressed. Every time I've heard this issue addressed, it's always addressed as dudes going into the ladies' room. That's always how they're like, it's just men going in the ladies' room. And it's like, well, first of all, it's not men going in the ladies' room. It's somebody whose gender identity is uh at you know to be maybe a little ambiguous or undefined but it's somebody who identifies uh you know as but it's never the opposite right right you know it's never that like nobody's upset that there might be a lady in the men's room you know they're not presenting the issue that way they're not like ah there's

going to be you know it's always like your wives and daughters are going to be violated in a public restaurant. And you're like, first of all, what? Restaurant? I know. But it's never like the guys are going to be upset that a lady's in the men's room. Like, we wouldn't care. Maybe like ladies in the men's room. Have you ever pissed in a co-ed facility before?

No, I don't know that I have. I don't know that I've been in it. Like a unisex bathroom. Like a public. I've been in a public bathroom that's co-ed co-ed a couple times and they just had full stalls i was gonna ask like do they just all they do is just make it like a ladies room it's just like everything's like a lady so there's just a full stall on everything there's no urinals just full stall just walk in is there a couch because i've heard there's couches in some ladies rooms and i

don't understand why because men's room never has a couch but like Because the women want to stay away from the men as long as possible. Right. It's like, what's taking so long in there? That conversation is so boring. I'm just getting away from Tom. I'd rather just sit in here and listen to the toilets flush. The smell of like fucking urinal cakes is more appealing to some women than spending time with me.

And by some women, I mean all of the women. Yes. Yeah. You know, it's also, if you look at this real quick, some women than spending time with me and by some women i mean all of the women yes yeah you know it's also if you look at this real quick it's it's i mean this is really just a way uh for this guy to disenfranchise poor people he's basically saying like we don't want to give you government anything to not give you benefits right like anything to make sure that we can withhold benefits from somebody like you don't get any government benefits like why why don't i get benefits oh well because you're not going to heaven. What?

You just fucking Klingerschmitt decided I'm not going to heaven, so I don't get a benefits? Asshole. You're all sick! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh, my God, what's happening now? We work hard.

We play hard. Everybody's out now. That's my favorite bumper, by the way. That bumper, I fucking smile every time I hear it. It's so ridiculous. I love that one. So this story also comes from, we didn't introduce where the last one came from. It came from Right Wing Watch. Of course. Of course it did, right? Because they hate Klingerschmitt so ridiculous. I love that one. So this story also comes from, we didn't introduce where the last one came from. It came from Right Wing Watch.

Of course. Of course it did, right? Because they hate Klingenschmitt so much. Yeah, that's a fucking rivalry. That's some fucking Hatfield-McCoy shit now. It's fucking on. It's Barney versus Fred. Klingenschmitt.

Are they enemies? I think they're enemies. Klingenschmitt. Al Franken wants to require pedophilia in all public schools. I like that. So that's not at all what anyone is saying. This guy is the same guy who last week endorsed Russia's homosexual propaganda law, which is one of the most egregious and disgusting laws ever passed by a country where they're basically saying like hey we're gonna under the guise of uh not promoting pedophilia what does that even mean how would you promote pedophilia

i love the idea that do you like what are people walking around like like trying to sell it to you like do they have pamphlets and they're like knocking on your door with like a tuxedo on being like hey have you have you thought about pedophilia today yeah oh my god i mean like is there somebody out there that's doing this? Like, what is it? Promoting pedophilia? What does it have its own agent? Like, what the fuck is happening?

It's like they're sitting around, like, the pedophilia lobby. It's like, we're really getting a bad rap. Man, we've got to do something to rehabilitate our image. We need some rebranding here, guys. You know? They get a whole new social media push right they're treating us like a bunch of child fuckers oh wait that's because we're a bunch of child fuckers that it's that whole like like we're gonna glue pedophilia onto homosexuality exactly yeah

um and so i guess clans schmidt is clinging to the idea uh you see what i did i did that was i did see it you didn't laugh though i thought that was pretty no no was that supposed to yeah we'll have to edit that back in yeah that's because the laughter is canned you can tell that it's canned it's totally canned damn fuck uh so he says l franken wants to require pedophilia in all public schools in the form of mandatory pro-gay lectures to all public school children uh fucking what and then he says russia bans child recruiting but al franken wants to require pro-gay child recruiting you can't i know we've said this on the show but you cannot recruit somebody into being either a pedophile which is a very different thing than a homosexual and you cannot recruit somebody into being a homosexual any more than you can recruit a homosexual into being a heterosexual

nobody is it's not like coke versus pepsi no it's not like you know they're both pretty good not bad i like them both but you know with a blind taste like with a blind taste fuck blind taste fuck you got one of those ball gags no you need to cover my eyes for this it's my eyes you're supposed to cover we've switched his regular sex partner with a dude let's see if he notices

honey you're much hairier and shaped totally different what I like about this is you know he says Honey, you're much hairier and shaped totally different. What I like about this is he says, Al Franken wants to require pedophilia in all public schools. And I'm just thinking, you know, that really does change the nature of progress reports for the kids. You know what I mean?

You get the progress report and you're like, you know, I've been fucking your son in the ass all week. And I just don't think he's putting it all at all. You know what I mean? He's just not putting into it the way he used to. And I want you guys to talk to your son and get him on board with this ass fucking. Yeah, we're going to have to have him see the special education teacher. He's better hung.

The special ass fucking teacher that we have. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. open hearts lord open hearts open hearts and empty bellies oh no jesus this story comes from the telegraph.co.uk um baby dies of rickets from vegetarian mother a couple told they could face jail after admitting manslaughter of their son whose name name is unpronounceable. I will contend that that's not a pronoun. I'm going to give it a hell, though. Ndunjekle. Which I think I fucking nailed, by the way. I think I nailed that.

You did. Who died from rickets after his parents insisted on a strict eating regime. Hold on. Yeah. Rickets. Isn't that that Ewok from Return of the Jedi? Did that little fucker kill him? That's the meanest thing ever.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Well, you know, the problem is they fed him Ewok meat. And a lot of people don't know that Ewoks are poisonous. It's a lot of vitamin A. And you just wind up, you wind up, your bones just liquefy. I'll tell you this much. I know they're sentient but i'd fucking eat an ewok i would go ewok hunting oh yeah because it sounds like because they could they'd put up a fight like they probably would yeah yeah they got all that i'd fucking chase

them around me like yum yum oh shit uh so this little baby dies from fucking rickets after his parents insisted on a strict eating regime as part of their religion. A five-month-old baby died from rickets. Oh, come on. Shouldn't he just be drinking breast milk at that point anyway? Yeah, I mean, it's like five months old. It shouldn't be eating a whole hell of a lot. Like, solid foods are just a novelty. Any kind of...

And it's only semi-solids at five months because they probably don't have any i mean it's almost certain that they don't have any good chewing teeth at that point i mean like a fucking you're a gum in your shit i mean like right yeah so you're not like giving them a fucking snickers bar unless you're mean you're a negligent parent what's what like what age do they get weaned off the boob like it's it's like a year or something yeah i mean when they start getting teeth that's when like when they can start nibbling more nipples you know it's like okay but i mean like clearly he's still he should still be suckling unless right is it that is it that her diet was so deficient that the baby no no i don't know no that's not uh not the case no it was you know they they they had an ovo or lacto ovo vegetarian diet um it allows milk and eggs but not animal flesh.

So it seems like you could do that as a fully grown person and be just fine. And a woman following a lacto-ovo-vegetarian diet would certainly be able to produce milk if she decided to breastfeed. It would not be an issue. Although there's a lot of things that go into milk production, but it's not necessarily something that would be an issue. But you cannot give a baby a vegetarian diet. Like, that's not a... I mean, clearly you can't because they fucking get rickets. Which, have you ever heard of anybody with rickets?

Yeah, I know. It's like an old-timey disease, man. Yeah, it is. I was like, what did they... Did they fucking put the kid in a time travel device and send him back to 1900 to get rid i know and here's the thing you know he's gonna have the tuberculosis it's got consumption it's like it's like the little tiny baby is coughing into a lace victoria napkin and like looking at the bloom of blood like oh and having that like fucking moulin rouge moment like, ah, fucking I'm dying.

Shit. Self-aware baby. What? Fuck. This is not good. And that cues dramatic music. And then they have like a fucking montage of pop songs right as the baby's dying. But it was, I mean, it was moving. Baz Luhrmann scripted the whole thing.

It was spectacular. Nobody likes that movie. I like that movie. You're the only person. No, I can't because they made it. I mean, it cost a lot of money. I can't. Look, somewhere. I mean, it cost a lot of money. I can't. Look, somewhere out there, someone likes Pearl Harbor.

Yeah, we're on. Yeah, we should just start talking again. We had to stop because there was a small explosion outside. Whoops. So that was a small explosion inside that translated to outside. See, I had thought it was outside, but it's actually not outside. It was right next to me. Yeah, I eat a lot of food.

I felt the reverberations on the floor, and I could have sworn it was like a small explosive device, like an IED or something like that. I was like, oh, it's just like an IED. Yeah. I mean, you would have been better off. I'm just saying. We had to vacate the room. Had that been a rigged artillery shell you would have been better off yeah if it was you know a different chemical weapon right

i'm just saying uh i'm outlawed in syria i'm just saying you're not deficient in anything you know here's the thing man like wouldn't you notice your baby was starving to death and be like god man i know baby seems to be starving to that's what i thought too is like but the the problem is is like i think that in some ways people are trying to be well-meaning to their child right they have this they have this idea that you know this is a good diet for me this is this has made me healthy and made me feel good let me give this thing that i I feel is healthy to my child. I don't think that these people were trying to be cruel. No, I don't think so.

Of course, I can't tell you the fucking operation of their mind, but I can tell you, you know, if they're a normal person, chances are they probably weren't trying to be cruel to their child. They were just trying to do what they thought was best for the child. The problem is, is that, you know, in this particular case, it wound up killing the child with a disease that we don't even really have anymore. Yeah, well, you know, and it's not like they didn't. I mean, I have to say, like from the story, they saw it coming and they still didn't act. No, yeah, absolutely. You know, because they said there came a time when it was obvious her son required medical assistance. And then it also says in there that there were warnings from the family.

So at some point, you just have to fucking abandon ship and be like, this is not working because this small human is dying. I need to do something to make this small human not die. So we're going to take a short break, give you some information on how to contact us, and then we'll be back with the rest of the show and all that stuff. So listen to the stuff that we're going to tell you about stuff. Want to get in touch with the show? Send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Be sure to follow the show on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is at dissonance underscore pod. Like the podcast page on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash dissonance pod, or just type cognitive dissonance into the Facebook search bar. Want your voice featured on our show? Leave a short

message on our Google voice at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740- 7 4 3 6 8 2 8. Visit dissonance pod.com to see the new stories featured in the show by apps and merchandise, or just leave a comment and to everyone who helps spread the word about the show by sharing it, tweeting it and rating it on iTunes glory hole. You fucking rock. So this story comes from jwz.org um this is the crazy story it's just exorcisms via skype is the title of it but it's a it's this fucking reverend bob larson whose name by the way

sounds fake like i'm sorry it's like it's like that simpsons episode where it's like, you've reached Officer Steve Grabowski. Like where they just plug in a last name, Reverend Bob Larson. It's fucking fake sounding. Anyway, Bob fucking Larson, like the fucking cheapest dime store reverend slash exorcist slash fraudster, is doing 60-minute Skype exorcisms. I wonder if he would do one on Google Hangouts if he could figure it out. I don't think anybody can figure it out. Google.

He'd probably just fucking randomly hang on them. They'd just hang up on you. And then, yeah, I mean, you're kind of fucked, basically. Then you've still got fucking demons. You're trying to mash the buttons with the demons. Like, no, I won't fucking. I love Google Hangouts. It's Skype only.

Like, Skype's your only only option it's $295 Cecil but thankfully it is a tax deductible donation to the church goodness thank goodness you know what I look at this and the first thing I think is that guy looks like Simon Pegg and I think Simon Pegg could make a

great movie about oh my god he's so good doesn't he look like him holy shit he does that's kind of why he looks fake because he sort of looks like an actor playing a fucking goofy role yeah bob larson has been around for years i remember electric hellfire club was a band i used to listen to and they used to quote bob larson and they had like all these different so he's been around for years years i mean we're talking like this point like this is 15 20 years ago i was listening

to that band holy shit i mean like he's been around for a long time but uh but yeah this exorcism versus skype we talked a little bit about this on on jake's show there's not i mean there's not a lot here but i i mean this is just another way to show you how much bullshit this right i mean clearly the idea of an exorcism is a dumb idea, but it's my hope that that people who are believers see this and think, wait a minute, you can do what you can do this. Right. And so I think this is actually a good thing for skepticism because it's one of those things where it's pushing the envelope of where you can get your money. It's making it so that these people are looking for profit centers in all different kinds of places. And suddenly people realize and they go, wait, that seems really fake if you're just like not doing anything. Well, you know, that's a good point.

Like the more ridiculous people get about doing like this kind of crazy ass bullshit, like the more absurd they get. At some point, it will wake certain people up. Certain people will be like, wait a minute. When it's not couched in this sort of, and I think the Catholics do a good job. I'm just going to interrupt myself. The Catholics do a fucking good job because they keep everything very strategically ritualized. And they don't change those rituals with the times very much. So everything has this sort of like old, ye olde 1500s feel to it. And that lens, like that ancient feel kind of lends this

false credibility to it um there's nothing any more or less absurd about doing it over skype absolutely nothing i mean when you're thinking about it in a rational way about a demon right right yeah it's just fucking silly it's like it it's all silly it's silly whether it's whether it's a catholic priest or whether it's over sky Skype or whether it's through fucking semaphore and smoke signals. Like, who cares? Like, it's just a silly concept. My favorite part of the article, though, is where Larson says, it's real. There would be no reason to theatrically stage this for any reason.

Reason, reason. Why would anybody? I hate that so much, too. It makes me crazy. Just find another word. I know. I know. Or just skip the first one.

Anyway. Oh, my God. And then he says, why would anybody do that? I have no idea. And it's like, because you charge money. Right. What do you mean you have no idea? That'd be like saying, like, why would somebody sell somebody a car for too much money?

That doesn't make any sense at all. If it's a $15,000 car, why would I sell it for $16,000? What's your overhead on $295? Skype's free. Skype's free, yeah. Your internet connection for the month. Yeah, so that's, you know, let's call it $60 a month. Let's call that $60.

You know, you've got to own a computer, but most people own computers anyway, right? Sure. Yeah. So, I mean, well, I mean, clearly not the poor, but I mean, you know, I mean, like, let's be honest, the people that are going to own computers, you know, they're going to own a computer. So he's got the computer already set up. To the electricities, like one cent of electricity.

So really your overhead is very little. It's just your time. Yeah. Well, no, no, no. Because look, look at the picture, Cecil. Oh, he's got a prop. He has to invest in a little. It's just your time. Yeah. Well, no, no, no. Because look. Look at the picture, Cecil. Oh, he's got a prop. He has to invest in a cheesy 12-inch fucking pewter cross that he got at Goodwill. And he's got to have his Star Trek uniform on on the top there.

It totally looks like a red shirt, doesn't it? Yeah. Somebody mentioned that on our thing on our Facebook page. And I was like, yeah, it totally looks like a fucking red shirt. Which is good news because that means he'll die on the first mission. That guy, too, doesn't even look like he's paying attention to what's happening the guy he's exercising no he's asleep he's not even exercising he's just trying to fucking wake him up that's the worst alarm clock ever bob larson larson a lot oh shit he should get i you know i'd almost pay for

that if you're like if you're asleep and you've got your computer next to you and all of a sudden it like kicks on at six in the morning to wake you up but it's like bob larson holding a fucking cross and exercising no you would just sleep demon and if it was google hangouts you'd be trying to answer it but it would go to your phone for some reason and you'd be like you'd be like i'm mashing the fucking answer button and it's like you missed the video call it's like i fucking didn't miss the call you just wouldn't pick up the call stupid thing i'm mad about google hangouts forever wank men i still laugh listening to the tarzan kick in this story comes from the raw story proposed afghan law protects men who abuse women and girls uh so this story is pretty much what it fucking sounds like if hamid karzai should signs a law passed by parliament already

and he probably will would deny women protection from domestic violence and from forced marriage proving once again that afghanistan is not a place for people to live oh god it's seriously like like it's one of those countries that you just have to say like there's a spread in this world where like part of the world is still living in the fucking 14 1500s for real and part of the world is like shooting rocket ships to mars and they couldn't be any more different it's almost like it's like you look at them and it's like you're as different as like a fucking turtle is from a bird like it's they're almost not even the same ken ham may think that they're

very similar so you don't have to go 88 miles an hour with a flux capacitor to go back in time i mean you really don't just go to afghanistan i'll tell you some of these places are really really depressing and one of the one of the things that you're talking about here the bill campaign can uh actually states the following people can't be questioned as witnesses in rapes and beatings and it's the it's basically the women so the women who are involved in this can't be questioned it's only can only go to the relatives the male relatives of the accused um is there a more egregious way that you could silence women you know what i mean like there is no more egregious way i mean like this is you know clearly your culture is set up as a way to silence women right

you know clearly your culture is set up around a way for a patriarchy to make sure that the women have no voice but this is literally doing that it's taking away any recourse they really have of when they are you you know, raped. Yeah. I mean, short of stapling their fucking mouth shut. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of actually, you're just basically saying like, we're not going to listen to you.

Right. It doesn't matter what you say. It just doesn't make any, like, you'd be like, I've got through, I threw him down the stairs. Yeah. But you are a woman, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, but I don't think i should be

thrown yeah uh you should have worn your burka you could hold that out and you can float down like dumbo's ears you gotta like hold a feather while you're doing it it's really very difficult it's kind of awkward actually it's terribly uncomfortable yeah yeah what a fucking stone age country man it's like it's some fucking ridiculous shit over there. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. To me, it's pretty simple. A person either believes that God created this process or believes that it was an accident and that it just happened all on its own. So the story comes from right wing watch creationists allege Darwin Day is unconstitutional and promotes Nazism. That escalated quickly.

I know, right? God. It's like earlier when we were talking about the stories where it's like, it's promoting pedophilia. Maybe you don't understand. Nobody's going to get sold into Nazism either. Nobody's like, I've been thinking maybe the Nazi party has some things that I'd like to do. That's not a thing that happens when you were in high school did you have the

Jostens people come by to sell you class rings I do remember they came by and they're like bring this to your parents we have financing plans and you brought the class ring home thing and then you talk to your parents it's the same thing with like Nazi propaganda they're just like have you thought about being a white supremacist have you considered

here's a pamphlet talk to your parents about it see if they'll buy in we have a clan meeting this weekend except for instead of a class ring you get a hitler youth knife oh no like oh it's for stabbing jews yay what kind of crazy nonsense is this um creation ministries international is furious furious that representative rush holt introduced a darwin day resolution to honor charles darwin's birthday um and then the quote is pretty great he says why are the atheists asking the government to endorse something that is so blatantly wrong and obviously a bait and switch tactic what's at stake there are only two views of how the universe the world and you and i came to be either it was created or it was evolved this is a philosophical debate and that's why i stop and it's like no it's not new that's not a philosophical

debate i mean you can make it into one but you're just doing debate wrong at that point. This is a matter of shit that happened versus things you made up. I think, you know, couldn't you just put another spin on this and just be like, have somebody talking about Martin Luther King Day and how it's so bad that these uppity blacks are putting in? You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's like you're you you have the thing that's celebrating education. You have something that's celebrating education. Why would you even bother with something like this? The problem is that, and you touched on this years ago when we were talking about Darwin and we were talking about evolution. They think that if you demonize the person who thought it up, that the theory is no longer a valid theory so if they attack

darwin and make it so darwin's a bad person darwin's an awful person if they demonize darwin enough and get people not to like darwin or get the tell the stories about darwin doubting himself or tell you know all these different ways in which you can build like tear him down then the theory won't mean anything but that's not how it works it doesn't matter if you know there was a somebody in in germany was killing jews but was a genius with rocketry the stuff he learned about rocketry would still be valid stuff if it was scientific research that he was creating it doesn't matter whether or not the person was an awful human being. Right. It's not like the rockets don't fly.

It's not like the rockets fly great and then somebody is like, wait a minute, we found out that that guy was really evil in some way and now the rockets don't fly. They don't work anymore, yeah. That's just not how science happens. Right. That's how truths about the world are really uncovered. And the hyperbole that this guy goes to to try to tie i know evolution to just you know he says uh see the following for the consequences of evolutionary teaching on society

how to build a bomb in the public school system the columbine high schools linked to evolution you're like what fucking those were two incredibly disaffected kids and there's some complex psychological and sociological reasons that those kids did what they did but i don't think evolution had fucking anything to do with that i just said fucking my kid's gonna come correct me again i know and we got we got stopped earlier because you were you were saying a little too loud i know and inside the evolutionary mindset of a killer, the Finnish high school tragedy, Darwinism and the Nazi race holocaust, Darwin eugenics and the death of the defenseless and how modern evolutionists are advocating some of the same. And earlier in the thing, he says, you know, if one is old, handicapped or unwanted, one is not safe anymore. What does that mean?

wanted one is not safe anymore what does that mean i i guess that because because change over time through natural selection we kill the elderly that's how that i don't not sure like if like if i fall and break my hip because darwin day death race right exactly it's like it's like logan's run wait that's a terrible idea. Why? Darwin Day. That does not connect. Please. Just keep screaming the same two words. You can't just say those words next to other words and decide that they mean something.

That's not an equal sign. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this story comes from HuffingtonPost.com. Also everywhere that there is an internet because this story is so ridiculous.

I saw it posted just about everybody. BYU Idaho video depicts porn addiction as a war. Now, originally when this story came out, they were talking about this was being like this was masturbation. And now, you know, they came out and they said everybody was kind of dogging on him and saying like no no you know this is ridiculous and then byu came out and said no no it's not about masturbation it's about porn addiction and i thought well there's a distinction without a difference are you kidding is that like somebody sitting there watching porn like well that was interesting i got about 15 minutes between classes. Why don't I just fire up some porn?

Yeah, I'm just watching it. I watch it for the articles. I love this video. If you have not seen the video, take some time out of your day and watch this three-minute video. It's the funniest thing ever. What I'd love to see is like a riff track. You remember Mystery Science Theater, right? Oh, yeah.

I would love to see like a riff track on this because there are some funny, funny, awkward, weird moments in this video. Yeah, there are. And, you know, it's just this strange – there's a strange look that happens between the two of them at the end. There's a lot of love in that look, Cecil. It reminds me of, like you said, Frodo at the end of that Lord of the Rings movie or whatever. They were about to have a pillow fight. They were.

They were going to jump on the bed for about 35 minutes. That's it. So this video, it's making some kind of bizarre and unclear correlation to- Completely unclear. Watching, like if you watch porn, and I guess watch porn but not masturbate. Because again, they came out to say, hey, this is addressing pornography, not masturbation. Guy had his pants on the whole time. Right.

So it's clearly just the watching. Yeah. The two are somehow disconnected. Sure, yeah, yeah. But that's evidently similar to going back in time and being in World War II. And being injured and having someone save you. Right. Because that's, I mean, I'll tell you what.

Like, watching porn is just like getting shot yeah in no way i guess i guess there's a shot that happens look if you're in the line of fire you're in the line of fire but you know what that snake is when you pick it up there's a difference between shot and money shot and evidently i guess if you go to byu you're not allowed to close your door when looking at porn oh i thought you had like some little tidbit of knowledge oh that's awesome no the totally the video that's awesome because the guy's like obviously he's clearly looking at porn and he doesn't bother to shut it off when the guy like knocks on his door and looks and he's like oh

sorry man like walks away for a minute right sorry about that bro it's it's not it's in the guy who's awesome if he pulled up a chair like instead next to a good one yeah i've seen this one hold on a minute wait a minute you know what that's not actually a pizza guy just wait it's a twist it's like m night shamalan porn it's like it's like a twist at the end wait a minute he's not really here to clean the pool oh this is a good one this is two mormons one cup most boring porn video possible they just drink out of the two mormons it's super boring yeah just gonna baptize dead and then they watch porn with their pants on it's like super boring like close the door like all i was thinking when they're watching it like

the guy's like watching this roommate comes and he's all quiet and sneaky about it great roommate you're creeping out sort of like making me feel a little uncomfortable white female what is happening you're making me uncomfortable while i'm watching my porn with the door open said nobody ever in college that's so That's good stuff. But it's just like getting shot in a war. I don't understand the connection at all. No, so you don't leave the wound.

See, what they want you to do, Cecil, so I'm going to make this connection for you. No, I'm going to do it here. Okay. So what they want you to do is they want you to intervene.

You should have a porn intervention, I think is what they're saying. How do we intervene in the guy getting shot in the war? Yeah, no know you intervene. You jump in front of bullets if you can't.

No, that's not. That's not what you do. Evidently, you just pick up wounded people and that's like intervening because I guess you're already at that point. You need an intervention. You're already shot, right? You're already wounded because I guess if you watch porn, that's bad for your soul. He said it's bad for your soul. It says like the enemy gets to like eat you for breakfast and your eyes turn dark.

It's very strange that they have such a huge problem with pornography. Right. And then at the very end of the video, they go right to sticks and balls. You know what I mean? Right. I know. It's like you couldn't have chosen better props for that. Yeah, I know.

Couldn't they have been played in tennis instead? Don't masturbate. Here's a dude handling a stick. Yeah. Wait wait a minute somebody's jingling his balls wait a minute they're playing pool if you didn't know it's a pool joke so we got some email uh that we're gonna burn through here to wrap up this terrible terrible terrible episode. Worst episode possible. It's the worst one we've ever done. Take that. Yeah.

So we got a two-star review. Actually, we got another two-star review on iTunes we just read today. Essentially said the same thing, which is basically like, hey, your show isn't what I thought it was. I expected different. I expected a different show.

So this person actually was responding to the old two-star review that we got and says hey guys i was inspired by the two-star review you alluded to in episode 134 and i've set aside some time this afternoon to be an overly literal prick and give a two-star rating to some tv programs with misleading titles tom do you want to read absolutely says this is my hit list thus far. Big Bang Theory. I genuinely tuned into this thinking it was a science show and turned it off within two minutes. I want to like that show, by the way, but it's got a laugh track. I don't think it's genuine. Firefly.

Firefly. Featured no discernible insects. That was my favorite. Two and a half men. The half man is merely a boy, not the freak show suggested by the show's name. Suits. Focused far too much on the guys in the suits. Banshee.

Just the name of a town. No actual Banshees here. House of Cards. Actually far more interesting than the nursing home residence I imagined. But fuck it. Two stars, motherfuckers. Game of Thrones. actually far more interesting than the nursing home residence i imagined but fuck it two stars motherfuckers game of thrones title implies something akin to musical chairs fuck there goes my babysitting job that was bad thanks ben for sending that in that was awesome we did get a

like a flurry of itunes reviews and we're close to getting to 800 so if you like our show and don't want to give us a two star rating and say some stupid shit like you're not the show i thought i was going to tune into then we'd love to get a review from you if you don't like the show we implore you don't listen yeah it's real easy it's just fucking turn it off it's super easy so uh anyway we got we got a bunch of messages because i neither of us knew what the fuck a goddamn flex was. A kettle flex, too. I thought it was like a specific thing to a kettle.

I did, too. And nobody uses the word kettle here. Yeah. Like you use kettle in terms of bring me more kettle chips. Right? Exactly. That's the only time. When else would you?

You don't put the kettle on in America. Here in America. It's a teapot. Right. It's like you're going to make tea. First of all, you're not going to make tea because America. I make tea every night, but i put the water in the microwave so but this the flex evidently tom is the cord so we call it a cord over here right they call

it a flex so when they were beating the child they were beating them with a electric cord but at least it was a thick electric yeah no at least it was a thick electric cord. Yeah, no, at least it was a nice, thick electric cord. So thank everybody for sending in messages about that. We got a long email from a small, black, closeted atheist in a small town. Pardon me, not a small one. He's not a small one. He may be small. We don't know the size.

We're not making any judgments here. Maybe he's just a small one. I heard when they're black, they're bigger. I don't know the size we're not making any judgments here any just a small i heard when they're black they're bigger so uh so we got an email and it's a long email and there's a lot going into it we just want to say thank you for listening and good luck right where you're at there's a lot of things in this email a lot too a lot more than we should cover uh but thank you very much for sending it in and i'm using the wrong mouse at this point i'm reaching for the wrong mouse it's fucking chaos over here we got an email from chelsea and uh chelsea wanted uh to tell us her definition of flex tricity uh she says i just listened to your most recent episode want to submit my definition

i work in a hospital and occasionally i see an amish family who must be visiting a friend or relative. It always gives me a chuckle to see this as their ideology shuns modern conveniences like electricity because it can lead to temptation and immoral behavior. And yet they come to a place that would never survive without power and other scientific advancements. Apparently, this wish to stay moral and humble doesn't apply when you have appendicitis. So, flex-tricity is the freedom for the Amish to choose to use electricity when it suits them. That's awesome. I think that's great. That's great.

Particularly because I hate the Amish so much. You really do hate those Amish. I really do. Like, I got a fucking bug up my ass about the Amish. I actually have a buggy up my ass about the Amish. You got a buggy whip up there. We got an email from Paul, and Paul has a podcast called Koranify Me. It's on iTunes, and it's also on Stitcher.

And he just wanted us to let us know that he has this podcast, and he wondered if we'd plug it. So, yes, we will plug it. He says it's a satirical take on the Koran, on reading the Koran. So it sounds a lot like Thomas and the Bible. I haven't had an opportunity to listen to it yet, but satirical take on the quran on reading the quran so it sounds a lot like thomas in the bible i haven't had an opportunity to listen to it yet but i will put it on the rotation so uh so good luck with your podcast paul and uh and if you want to check it out i'm going to put an episode uh i'm going to put uh the link pardon me on this episode's show notes so this episode is what episode tom this is episode 130 garble bar right garble bar i think that's what it was

find that one uh that's where this link will be so good luck it's like it's like kind of like an easter egg hunt we're not going to tell you exactly where the link is and he needs the luck because in his email he says that i moved across the country to start a new life read here hide from islamic extremists who didn't like what i was doing, which put my schedule off. And I'll say that that's at least one way it differs from Thomas in the Bible. Yeah. Right? Like nobody's going to murderate you for reading Job.

Good luck, Paul. We're going to put a link on this episode's show notes. We want to end the email section with a thank you email. This is from a 16-year-old guy living in the suburbs of New York City. He wants to become a science teacher and he just wanted to say thanks. And we're happy that you're listening

and enjoy the show. So, Max, good luck on your future career options. I hope you become a science teacher. Thanks for listening. Yeah, I hope you become a science teacher. That'd be awesome. Yeah. All right, so that's it for this week, right? We don't have anything else? Yeah, I hope you become a science teacher. That'd be awesome. Yeah. All right.

So that's it for this week, right? We don't have anything else? No, we've ruined that for 52 minutes. 52 minutes. It's kind of a short show, but you know, what the fuck? That's how it works when you record live. I could just sit here and just sort of trail off for another... And bask in the odors.

19 minutes. And just bask in the various scents. Well, at this point, this gas mask is starting to... It's chafing a little. Well, it's chafing and it's starting to fog up a little. So it's just being a little annoying. Next week, it's our hope. We're not sure.

It's our hope. It's our hope. That we're going to have Thomas from Thomas and the Bible on and his new co-host. Yeah. And he's also got a show, Atheistically Speaking. So he's not just from Thomas and the Bible now. He's from Atheistically Speaking as well. I don't remember his co-host name because I'm a bad person i'm a bad person too do you

remember his name no i remember thomas's name because it's the same name i have that's the only reason now i gotta look at the email his name is david that's his name yeah i wouldn't have looked it up i would have just been i know you would have just not done it but his name is david and i haven't listened to his show yet but i This week. I know he's only got a couple episodes out See and I've listened to the show. So I'm at least Like you know his name. No, I don't Pay attention to that stuff. Look, you Know I I got it as

An amusing aside like I at this new Job that I've got a new job relatively recently And I have to go out and meet people which is not Typically my strong suit and when I go out And meet people I have been known to meet the same Person twice in 15 minutes like I'll meet somebody and I'm thinking like, I don't care when they introduce themselves. And like a few minutes later, if it's a big enough group of people, it was like 50 or a hundred people in the room, a little circle back around and I'll

introduce myself to the same person again. And it's happened to me twice and like, yeah, we just met. I'm like, I didn't care the first time. I care even less the second time. Yeah, you didn't make an impression. That's awesome. Well, as always, we're going to leave you with the skeptic's creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative,

acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Mata nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this.

The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, funny thing we'd say after. If we had actually done anything funny. We didn't do anything funny for the whole episode. We did nothing funny for the entire show. So now this is where we need to be funny. Be funny, Tom. No, the listeners do not. Be as funny as you can right now.

And go. There's too much pressure. I can't do it. I don't perform well. Well, I don't perform well, actually. But under pressure, it's particularly bad. This is really just where we would put the really bad taste joke that we're afraid people would listen to, too. That's true.

I was watching Cecil edit this, and he's getting ready to put a new thing on. I'm like, what are you doing? We're done. Why are you doing that? This is over. We're done. Don't stop. No.

Why are you still hitting record? I'm going to hum for the next 10 minutes. Give it hell. I want to hear the battle Hymn of the Republic. Go!