Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 142: Atheists on Air

Episode Date: March 17, 2014

Special thanks to Cash and Love from Atheists on Air for joining us. We will be on their show next week:  Monday the 24th at 7pm Chicago time.     Call in to talk to us: 646.716.6404 (option 1)

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Hi, this is Winsom. James from Arkansas. In regards to the Ezekiel, wherever the hell it was, Russia invading Israel or something like that in Ezekiel. Well, you know, clearly Ezekiel takes place in the Bob Lerman's Romeo and Juliet universe, you know, where swords are guns, guns are swords. They're called swords.

So that's what it's referring to, you see. Anyway, glory hole. I guess I have to say that, don't I? Hello. This is computer 1816BCA calling. I am a longtime fan, and I often process your audio. It required many CPU cycles to accept your new output format, but in the end, I calculated to be more efficient.

Keep up the good work. Glory Hole. End transmission. Hey, you assholes. I never called in before, but I just heard the episode where you talk about this family from Germany that's getting deported because they don't want to homeschool their kids or whatever, and they don't get

political asylum for that. I just laughed out loud as soon as I heard that, because the thing that occurred to me was, dude, if the Germans were religiously persecuting you, you would fucking know it. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at. This is episode 142. And for this episode, we have half of the atheists on air. Cecil, we seem to be good at getting half of our guests. And this is clearly the ugly half. I mean, no offense, Cash.

No offense. You haven't seen me in my thong. It's made out of raccoon. Oh, God. You are from Appalachia. Oh, man. That's awesome. Yeah, and one of the only

ones with teeth. I like that you don't specify all of your teeth, just teeth. Yeah, just teeth. If you've got one. Teeth means two. I didn't say a few. I said teeth.

So we are graced with the presence of Cash from Atheist On Air. Thank you so much for being on our show. We have 142 episodes. You guys do about 142 episodes a week. Your production schedule is ludicrous, Cash. Well, we stopped that. We did. We were doing daily shows.

We quit that shit. Okay. When did you quit that shit? After about two weeks of it. That was as soon as our egos were built up from everybody going, wow, y'all are awesome. I was like, yeah, let yeah let's you know we've we've appeased the masses now let's um let's lay low and do you know a three-hour show mondays and so that's what we're doing now is a two to three hour show each monday

oh wow two to three hours yeah i would be so fucking sick of cecil after two to three hours i'm sick of you after fucking 40 minutes. Are you kidding me? It is ridiculous, but we drink like fish. Oh, you see, that's how you do it. And so I don't know if there's any value in any of it, except maybe the first five minutes or something, the introduction. The rest of it, we're enjoying.

And that's all that really matters. I mean, shit, Cecilcil the only reason we're doing we're not doing this for the fucking audience if we were we'd have a different show so our goal originally was to and it still is my goal i want to make change it's why we added this new science segment um it's an hour segment but it's a it's a segment well i wanted originally to have christian callers so i bought a domain name called um are you a real christian.com and i want to put up billboards well as soon as our reason con thing is over and i'm done done dumping money into it i am going to start putting up billboards that are run monthly with different christ messages. One of those being, these will be the black billboards,

like the God billboards, that says, kill Sabbath day workers is the first one. And then at the bottom, are you a real Christian? And my goal is to entice, well, to antagonize. I love it. Choose your language carefully there, sir. Well. Yeah, entice. I love it, right? Yeah. She was your language carefully there, sir. Well, that's the goal, and that's what I wanted.

So I want to debate. I want to talk to Christians. And I'm not a master debater because my wife gives me plenty without having to do that. And so I've lost the skills from my younger years. It's like falling off a log, my friend. So that's my goal with the show. I don't know if it'll make it. Another goal of ours is to keep it under an hour. Two to three hours.

You're a little over. an hour yeah at two to three hours you're a little over it's either gonna mean less talking it's pretty much what we've come up with you figured that out huh well cash we wanted to talk to you about this story from the raw story oklahoma fox station removes evolution from cosmos by cutting only 15 seconds. Now, if you get an opportunity, this is for the audience. Go to the site, click on the link and watch the video. I never do this, but Cecil made me do it. The editing here is brilliant. I mean, really smooth.

It doesn't feel like a sloppy chop job at all. Just really spectacularly well done what did you think of this story cash almost like somebody changed the fucking channel yeah mid cynics and then flick back once they realize oh fuck that wasn't the volume button right right i think there couldn't have been a better segue, though, for Oklahoma than bow hunting. You were just like, they cut to the thing and they're like, later on, they'll be bow hunting. And I'm just like, okay. Like, they could have had a washboard and jug band, and that would have been about the same level.

I love that that even makes the news seem so like, and in the news, the fucking news, let's not remember. It's the tune of the bow right like let's not forget there's still an airplane full of people missing in the world missing just fucking gone but we're gonna cut to the fucking important shit we're gonna take you away from evolution to show you a fucking dude with a bow and arrow yes that's right he's good at shooting a bow and arrow and i gotta say that the editing is like when you were like a teenager and you're taping over all your disney tapes with porn you know what i mean you're just like oh there's like cinemax on tonight i'm gonna tape over fucking dumbo here and it just cuts in the middle of dumbo flying with a fucking

feather in his trunk or whatever and then there's a trunk going into something else as you cut away it's just like a barely barely revealed tip that's it that's like you're like yes that's enough back then man that's enough right now what am i kidding what was amazing is they teased with that with that appeals to their audience and we have to remember that's a fox clip you know it's it's an affiliate of Fox. And they appeal to their masses there in Oklahoma, which, you know, we can't say much here because Fox is, you know, an icon here. It's a social icon for truth and fair and balanced. So it was amazing, though, that they even pointed out that he had got his own show. They alluded to the fact that he's actually making fucking money hunting with a bow anyone can do it what's your sponsorship level for shooting shit with a

fucking arrow like i don't even know how that works like there's no competitor the competitors the deer you killed it you fucking killed your competitor. There is no... It's not like you're like, yeah, I'm going to hunt. It's not like there's one deer and whoever gets it first wins the fucking bow internet. I don't know how that works exactly. And what are you going to do? You're going to put fucking signs and shit on his camo so it doesn't work? Like, oh, yeah, I'm going to sponsor.

I want to buy some fucking real estate on the back of that dude. He's got the arrow name on his camo so it doesn't work like oh yeah i'm gonna sponsor i want to buy some fucking real estate on the back of that like the arrow name on his back right or like he has to like write in like fucking deer blood the name of his sponsors like when i'm eating delicious bow hunted deer heart i only eat fucking i only clean up with bounty paper towels. Yes, bounty paper towels. When the bloods are running. It's perfect, though, for the area. I mean, it's like them, you know, promoting, well, not toothpaste here, but something, you know, you know, meth, you know. It would go over well oh man did you watch did you get a chance to see cosmos absolutely i watched it on tuesday night because my son wanted he's he's 12 and he wanted to watch it with me and i had a show monday night so i couldn't watch it monday night sunday night

i do a business show. And so it was going to, he and I sat down Tuesday night. We watched it Tuesday night. He fell in love. And Wednesday morning, I get up to get him ready for school. He's already up in the living room watching Cosmos again. Wow. Hell yeah.

That's great. I was just like, shit. So 12-year-old is a good target market for that show. Well, he already has a propensity towards that stuff. Okay. He talked me into buying a huge telescope that is so fucking heavy we need six people to pull it out. They tell you, oh, it comes apart and you can take it out anywhere you want in three pieces. Yeah, motherfucker, but it takes three hours to put those three pieces together and a realign everything that's the biggest part is realigning it so i try to do it as the whole unit and so i've got my girls out there holding one side and i'm on

the other side and they're going dad pick up your side you know and And we go, look at shit. But it is fantastic. He already has just a drive that way. You guys must be able to see a lot down there because you guys don't have electric lights in North Carolina, do you? Not yet. Not yet. They said as soon as we get running water,

fucking electricity's next, baby. Yeah, we should mention that he is podcasting from a tin can with a string and i think the fidelity is surprisingly good it is we we have really improved over the years we have the um we figured out that the cheap ass dollar general cans of beans those don't work as good but spam the the dynamic of a spam can or potted meat just, just carries the base and the resonance just is fantastic. So I am curious, like what I watched and we were talking about this, Cecil and I were talking about this before the show.

What do you think the, the, the target audience for Cosmos was like, like age group wise, where, where do you think age group or educational level what what do you think they were aiming at with cosmos who who are they going after with that program i don't know if i'm being set up because i was you know i've read y'all's bios and y'all have educations um and and i almost graduated um not from college but it is incredible to me that they have put it in a way that even i mean i'm in my 40s and that was just like i want to eat it you know it's given to me in a in a way i can understand it but also my 12 year old understands it and my daughter sat in the room and watched the whole thing with us Tuesday night as well. So I think it's your daughter.

I've got six daughters, but what? Yeah, you are from the South, sir. Oh, well, Mormon, Mormon and the South. And you're pretty fucked. So we we had my daughter that's 16 and a daughter that was 15. Yeah, I thought, you know, Tom and I both thought when we watched it, both of us thought it was a very good start. There's a lot more in-depth astronomy shows out there that will do much more depth. But Cosmos is sort of aiming at a different thing.

It's showing you the story of, as they said, said of everything and we thought it was a very good beginning and we're kind of looking forward to the rest of it i hope that they cut in over here and try to erase other parts of it but although i don't think they're going to do it in chicago but i'm anxious to see where else they try to erase other shit from it because they're gonna there's going to be like a whole episode on evolution they're going to just have to keep fucking cutting back and forth to this fox affiliate well the oklahoma fox affiliate all they have to do is just do the bow hunting um for an hour right when they do the the evolution series yeah we normally show fox however you guys amazed that this was even on fox though i you know what the rupert murdoch is a whore. He goes after money.

You know, if you remember when he was sued a few years ago for demonstrably sending out, disseminating information that was false. And they proved it in a court of law, in a federal court of law. And his defense was, we're an entertainment company. So we'll be back at the end of the show with Cash and Love. Love joins us a few moments in to our interview with Cash at the end of the show. So you're going to want to stick around for that. Allah, Akbar, Akbar, Allah, Akbar, Allahu, Akbar, just little Allah. Thank you, Chicago. So this story comes from dawn.com. Pakistani laws prohibiting underage marriage. Un-Islamic.

C2. CII. I don't know what that's all about. Is it like Roman numerals? Like, what is that? 102. That'd be 102, right? C, part two.

This time it's un-Islamic. Well, you know, the Council of Islamic Ideology concluded its 191st meeting or its 191th meeting as it's in the article. Oh, yes. Good old 191 as it's in the article oh yes good old 191 i like how fucking messy the table is i know it's like water bottles upturned and like a big kleenex box it's like it's like a bachelor spent the weekend at home jerking it you know what i mean surprised there isn't a lotion bottle on the table it's just it's just a remote control of bucks and kleenex and some lubriderm he's got his bluetooth mouse and his keyboard. How was the weekend?

Exhausting. Man. It was busy for a little bit, and then I napped, and then it was busy, and then I napped. Periods of intense excitement. Follow me. Oh, that's awesome. But, you know, they came to some important conclusions let's not minimize

just because it's the 191th meeting we should not we should not minimize the import of the great work that these men did declaring that all underage marriage is un-islamic uh you cannot put age limits on marriage so you can marriage you could fucking marry an infant who gives a shit just it's still in diapers who fucking cares marry that's not true because it says that they uh any marriage can be can happen after she attains the age of puberty but i guess i kind of wonder like is puberty like do they think puberty is like if they have their first period i think it's interesting that they don't define that so they can just be like yeah just whenever they're in puberty i.e whenever i think they're hot well i

mean right like i guess that there's probably some markers for puberty but it you know just depends i mean since it's not defined it's just you could just be like well one of these traits she had grass on the field or she you know she had her first period or you know her her boobies are no longer flat those things are all that's fair game like which of the secondary sex characteristics in order for you to the thing is like it's a it's it's a joke it's a fucking joke and it's a joke to try to nail it down or to try to like you know say like oh you know let's let's think long and hard about which of the puberty characters because they're not thinking that well they're just making laws to say marry anyone you want like that's what they're saying they're

saying like it's un-islamic to to to make a law prohibiting underage marriages. So as soon as they open that shit up, it's like, do whatever you want. Marry whoever you want. No one's going to say no. Well, it's clearly, you know, and this is also, there's another story, Tom, that really sort of dovetails very nicely with this story. And this is the one from Reuters. It's Iraqi women protest against proposed Islamic

law in Iraq. And it's about how the women are essentially protesting that there would be a law that would allow and permit marriage of nine-year-old girls. And it would automatically give custody of children to fathers. And I was reading this, this is the craziest shit, right? Not only are they thinking that it's okay for guys to marry a nine-year-old woman, a nine-year-old girl, it's not a woman at that point. So the law basically describes girls as reaching puberty at nine, making them fit for marriage, makes the father the sole guardian of his children at two, and condones the husband's right to insist on sexual intercourse with his wife whenever he wishes.

I mean, clearly, this is a law made for men to basically just rule over women. I mean, they are essentially putting themselves in as a ruling class because women are their slaves. They're sex slaves. And they're their offspring slaves, right? I mean, you create my offspring and I will reap that offspring. That's mine now. You're basically a baby sharecropper. You know what I mean?

You're just shitting out kids and I get to keep them. You have 16 kids and what do you get? You have to live. I mean, it really is like sharecropping man it's it's fucking indentured exactly yeah you can't ever win your fucking freedom like that's there's no there's no hope it's it's worse than indenture i mean it is honestly it's sex slave yeah if you're taking a fourth grader oh wait who am i kidding they're not in school. Oh, no. Oh, that was actually, you know, the problem is that if you make a joke about marrying a fourth grader, you're actually being optimistic.

It's true. Right? Yeah. Because you're not marrying a fourth grader. That suggests four prior years of education. You're marrying a no grader. Yeah, you're marrying a nine-year-old. Right. You're marrying a nine-year-old right you're marrying a nine-year-old

because and we were joking about like what's the age of puberty well this thing this law just describes the age of puberty at nine but is it is it i mean nine seems so that seems so unbelievably young well because they don't care about actual puberty they just want to say like well i want to fuck a nine-year-old oh god next question this is michelle who says i was watching a horror movie the other day on the recommendation of others it was rather strange and awfully macabre and then this past sunday i got into an accident leaving church did watching that creepy movie cause a curse or the lord's protection to be lifted from me did i grieve the holy spirit by watching this series a few years ago i heard about a teenage girl who was demon possessed and people began to deal with the demon and try to cast it out

and you know what the demon said i had permission and the permission was granted when this child had gone to some double X rated movie or whatever it was and had allowed this thing to come into her. I know this sounds kind of otherworldly, but that's the way it is. So could it have happened to you? Yes, I don't think it did, but it could have. But this thing may be living around you. And what you need to do again is speak it, command this thing to leave, and ask God to forgive you. I know that's weird, but these things can happen. And I think some of these producers, who knows what influences are into them with some of these movies.

Or you said macabre is a good word for it. So this story comes from the Raw story. And the advantage of this one, Cecil, is there's no picture of a dude fucking his dog up top. So we can actually talk about this one. No, but it is Pat Robertson grabbing someone's balls and telling him to cough. He is wearing, you see that jacket he's wearing in that top one? Yeah. That thing is fucking badass.

I would wear that jacket. Pat Robertson. It's got a shimmer to it, doesn't it top one yeah that thing is fucking badass i would wear that jacket pat robertson got a shimmer to it doesn't look at that thing it's like here it doesn't he looks like fucking ron burgundy in that fucking jacket from anchorman pat robertson demons get permission to wreck your car from x-rated movies i love the headline so much it's so great you know i i stopped tweeting and and picking pat robertson stories for the most part because come on at some point it's like you just gotta skip pat robertson over but this one was so outlandish so delightfully deliciously crazy you could actually taste the fucking old spice and burnt leather it's just fucking terrific he gets a caller cecil who's like yeah i was watching a fucking scary movie

and then later like a week later right i got in a car accident when i was leaving church those things are perfectly coinc i mean that's like That's amazing. Those things go right together. They coincide, if you will. It relates to this fucking anecdote about fucking demons and chatting with them. And the demon's like, yeah, I fucking, I'm in here. But I had permission to be here. Because scary movies or pornography or whatever. It was double X rated. What is double X rated?

What does that mean? Double X? Which isn't even a rating. Like triple X. Right, triple X rated? What does that mean? Double X? Which isn't even a rating. Like triple X. Right, triple X. That's that Vin Diesel guy. I like from his anecdote, too, that he says, the permission was granted when this child had gone, gone, gone.

This is the part I'm going to focus on. To some double X rated movie or whatever it was and had allowed this thing to come into her. Hey, nobody goes to porn movies. and had allowed this thing to come into her. Hey-o. Nobody goes to porn movies anymore. That's not a thing. Like, it's not 1973. Nobody goes to a porn movie.

Like, who would go to... Oh, where are you headed, honey? Oh, Mom, I'm just going to the old porn theater, which doesn't fucking exist anymore. I'll be back. I gotta ride my bike over to the porn theater, which doesn't fucking exist anymore. I'll be back. I got to ride my bike over to the porn theater, Mom. It's a difficult ride back, actually. It's a little painful. The seat's a little chafey.

Yeah. And then, you know, how disappointing to go to the porn theater and end up being stuffed by nothing but demons. You know, you swing by the old glory hole. It's true. Another it's like, ah, another barbed dick. Really? Just once can I get a dick that's not barbed? Please.

Sorry, but Quiznos was closed. I had to go somewhere. Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Theory of Atlantis. If there's a steady paycheck

in it, I'll believe anything you say. This one is a what the fuck? I don't even know what's happening on this one. I know, I did. See, so I'm not going to lie, I didn't read all of this because my brain just shut down. I seriously just couldn't do it. You didn't read all of it. You didn't read. So I'm not going to lie. I didn't read all of this because my brain just shut down. I seriously just couldn't do it. All of it.

You didn't read the whole story. Fuck you. Evangelical Christians want access to more. You want me to wait while you read it? Here's what I'm going to do, Cecil. I'm going to read the headline and then make jokes. Okay, sounds good. I don't know if that's kind of my shtick.

That'll never work. Yeah, it won't. I fooled them for 142 episodes. Evangelical Christians want access to more corpses. Corpses. I almost said. That's different. Like, I need a grove of trees.

I'm going to try it a third time. trees. I'm going to try it a third time. Evangelical Christians want access to more corpses to hone their raising the dead skills. And the first thing that occurs to me is, well, of course they want more. If they keep raising all the dead. No kidding. You run out of them. It's the fastest way to run out. Absolutely. I totally see what they're doing here. What they do is they essentially, they offer a service, and this service is to people who just recently lost loved ones. And the service essentially is they will come to you and they will comfort you in your time of need, of course, because that's what you do when somebody just died.

I mean, that's the natural thing that you're supposed to do. And then also they will pray over the dead body and hopefully it will raise from the dead. And they have supposedly raised up, they said something like 11 people and they've tried it on a couple other people. And it says at one time they were, you know, in a mortuary for eight hours and they prayed over, oh, they prayed over somebody for nearly an hour because the person was dead for an hour. And although at one stage they thought they saw him move, that was as good as it got. So they were close. I mean, the guy like, you know, probably moved a little or something.

And I understand that they need more corpses. I understand this because, you know, it took me a long time to get sort of really good at necrophilia too. I mean, because really you've got to weigh out the correct amount of lube. I mean, there's sort of this sort of correct amount of lube you need, and there's a lot of positioning that you have to go through. So I think, you know, I can see where they need to have a lot of test courses. Yeah, you've got to. I mean, the thing is that nobody wants sloppy seconds on the corpse, you know.

So once you get, I mean, you need a new one. They're fucking disposed. Corpses are disposable items at that point. They're just like, it's like a fucking tissue. You just slip. Or like a fucking. When you're in the necrophilia, it's kind of like a tissue. Right.

You know, you look at this and it's like, yeah, we've raised 11 people. And they're talking in this story about how they want to have like teams of dead raisers. And that's what they're like calling themselves. Like the dead raising team fucking what they hope to see a drt started in every city in the world so that nobody could die without being prayed back to life and the first thing that occurs to me is like wouldn't god be exhausted by this shit like he's up there and it's like all right you're dead fuck they don't want him dead yet all right you're back to life you're dead then no fuck they don't want him to

because everybody would pray everybody back to life we would run out of resources in 30 minutes cecil what they're essentially saying is is like well god we really want you to change your mind on this one or what if it's like what if actually there's like an angel of death and then there's God and they kind of operate sort of like one's a rogue agent, like one's like the crusty but benign police captain and the other one's like the rogue agent, like he's always coming into the boss's office and he's like, angel of death, I told you not to not. And then the angel is like, I got it, boss. And then he slams the door behind him and he breaks the coffee pot i've seen that movie i love too like the idea that you just like your grandma

dies you just pray grandma back to life and she wakes up she's like i fucking i was in heaven i was in fucking heaven i was in paradise right now i'm 90 and i don't have use of my legs right it's like it's like i still have fucking thanks for bringing me back to life i still have fucking cancer i'm still fucking old and now i'm in pennsylvania you know i'm like i'm not in fucking heaven like this worldview doesn't even make it's not even consistent it doesn't make any sense at all well and why would you want to pray anybody to life if you believed in heaven why would you want to pray anybody i don't understand why they they even put you know if you really did believe in heaven why do you bother with anything

at all like i actually i think the people who don't like do any kind of medical shit that that's like the most consistent because at least in that in that case you're like okay well i'm gonna you know if god's gonna take me now god's gonna take me now and i'm just gonna do the bare minimum i need to stay alive and then the moment he takes me it's fucking heaven time whoo right and then when somebody dies it'd be like wouldn't you be fucking thrilled

it'd be like finding out that the person you love just fucking retired to the fucking yeah right like oh I remember I'm retiring to Tahiti with unlimited funds and filled with joy. I'm living in 72 virgins. Like, it's no problem.

I'm going to miss you, but have a great life. That's fucking rock star, dude. I'll see you in Tahiti when I die. Right? Because it's a thing, too. It's like, you also have an all-expenses-paid trip to the best place ever. But instead, everybody's like, oh, I'm fucking sad. Like, why are you sad? I'm fucking sad like why are you sad i'm fucking sad bring him

back to life what that's really selfish actually like in this worldview that's the most selfish thing you could possibly do Hello, Webber. Hello, Webber. So this story sucks so bad. The story comes from the friendly atheist. Muslim father kills his possessed three-year-old son after prayer brings no relief. Syracuse resident Marcel Washington is a follower of Islam. So when he went crazy a little bit bit he started hearing whispers and shit he turned not to a mental health professional cecil he turned to a fucking religious elder

and that person instead of saying go see a doctor you're hearing shit said you should take your kid to a mosque and pray and so he brought his kid instead to the shower and drowned him. Yeah, the description here is not something you want to read. It's one of those ones I had to take a second, you know, sort of walk away from, come back, read a little bit, because it's one of those where you just start reading

and you're like, you know, this is an innocent child that, you know, obviously can't do anything. And I mean, you know, you just put yourself in this position and you know that children are irrational and children are, you know, whatever. And it breaks my heart to think that, you know, you just put yourself in this position and you know that children are irrational and children are, you know, whatever. And it breaks my heart to think that, you know, he's drowning this child and he's asking the child whatever the stupid questions.

And the kid doesn't know. You know, the kid doesn't know. The kid's just being a kid. And this person clearly is a crazy person, right? This person is clearly nuts. Oh, yeah, for sure. But the problem, I think, lies in the fact that they went, like you said, to their priest instead of going to somebody else. Because, you know, not only do I think

that there's some blame that belongs in the priest, like you said, but just the fact that they went to their priest in the first place is something else that's just also very wrong. I'm okay with people being religious. Like, it doesn't bother me that people are religious. It doesn't affect me that people are religious. What I want is religious people to stop being authorities in things they're not authorities in. You're not an authority in the mental health field. You're not an authority in the physical health field. You're not an authority in when it comes to marriage counseling. You're not an authority in fucking childcare. We've established that enough. You're not an authority. There's so many different things you're not an authority in fucking childcare. We've established that enough. You're not an authority.

You know, there's so many different things you're not an authority in. Just be an authority about your fucking made up God with them. That's what you get to do. The rest of it, you know, if they're having doubts about their religion, great. Have them in for a chat. If they're having fucking, they think something's fucking possessed by the devil, you need to start calling fucking DCFS because that's your job as somebody who is in the position that is getting told confidential information from someone. You should be just as culpable for this crime as the person who did it because you didn't do anything about it.

So we're going to take a short break and then we're going to come back at the end of the show with cash and love from atheists on air and do an interview. And then we're going to finish this finish up this show with a little bit of email. So stick around. Hi there. This is Tanner Campbell of the No God Cast podcast. And you're listening to Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance, the dirtiest mouth motherfuckers you've ever met on the Internet. When you're done here, pop on over to NoGodCast.com and have a listen to my 10th-rate program, Glory Hole Bitches. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. over to no god cast.com and have a listen to my 10th grade program glory hole bitches so this

story comes from right wing watch austin roos says left wing university professors should all be taken out and shot and the nuts and bolts of this story is that austin roos says left wing university professors should all be taken out and shot uh Fucking crazy, dude. I love the idea that this fucking guy is so crazy that he's filling in for American Family Radio host Sandy Rios. And he actually says something a little more vitriolically hateful than she has said recently. You know, like, that's a high ball. It really is. It's like sitting in for David Duke and being more of a racist. Like, how do you do that?

It's like Hitler's Day Off, you know, and you're, like, filling in. Man, that Gorbals is a fucking awesome. He's a really good Nazi. Look at that guy go. Man, he's just tearing up the fucking evil fucking racetrack or whatever i don't even know where i'm going with that um so this fucking lunatic uh basically is talking about there was a woman who came out as a porn actress she's a duke university freshman there were many many articles which were written um discussing it because oh my god she's a porn

actress and she doesn a porn actress and she doesn't hate herself and whatever. So she had written something about how she's a porn actress and people don't expect this out of her. And it got a fair amount of press on all sides of the issue. And he had some really insightful things to say. And one of the things he says is referring to his own daughters, I do hope that they go to a Christian college or university and to keep them so far away from the hard left human hating people that run modern universities who should all be taken out and shot. Well, that'll solve the problem. Oh, my gosh. You know, clearly he's running off at the mouth, right?

That's what he's doing. He's just you know, he's just got diarrhea of the mouth at this point. And he's running his mouth and he gets a little carried away with himself. You know what I mean? Like he just gets carried away. But he's talking, I mean, the things that he has to say, the vitriol he has to say about, you know, where he's talking about this toxic stew of modern university is gender studies. It's sex week. You know,

this is a guy who's afraid that people explore their bodies and understand their bodies better. And that women are in control of their bodies. This is a guy I think that's afraid of that stuff. I mean, he, he clearly is because he's talking about how he's going to send his daughters to a Christian college or university to keep them away from this stuff.

Because, you know, I just want to make sure that I'm going to protect them. Protect them from what? From themselves? From their own vagina? From a diversity of worldviews, Cecil. From experience. From opportunity.

He's going to protect them from, you know, the ability to succeed later in life. He's going to protect a uh a satisfying sexual relationship he's gonna protect them uh from from any kind of emotional maturity that they might develop he's gonna protect them from lots of things they'll be so well protected um that they'll be like plants growing in the fucking dark that's that's what they're gonna be like fucking stunted and uh malformed basically you know the the problem like when you stunted and malformed, basically. The problem, when you take kids and you say, I don't like the world that we live in, so I'm going to pretend that they live in a different world. I'm going to create a world, an insulated world that doesn't

have any relationship with reality whatsoever. And I'm going to raise my kids in this insulated world, at some point, those kids grow up and become adults. And they have to live the vast majority of their lives, not as children, but as adults. And instead of forming their personalities and their opinions and their worldviews and their intellects in a world that offers a diversity of opinion that they have to push and pull against and struggle to align with their own values, instead of that, when you raise them in this insulated worldview, they either become absolutely shocked by the world around them and are unable to cope in a meaningful way and continue to pursue more and more insulated worlds to live within or communities to live within, or they just have to shut down altogether.

I mean, how are you supposed to learn and grow and mature when you never have the opportunity to do so? You're all dead! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh my God. What's happening now?

We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now. So this next story comes from Right Wing Watch. Swanson, Disney's Frozen is a satanic push to turn kids gay. Religious right talk show host Kevin Swanson railed against the Disney film Frozen on Wednesday, accusing Disney of using the movie to turn children gay. Yep, that seems pretty likely.

I think there's going to be tons of kids who watch Frozen and then walk away gay from watching a Disney movie. When I watched the movie Cars, I just started fucking every car I saw. I'll tell you that much. I turned into a car. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I saw it and I was like, man, the message here is that cars are awesome.

I'm going to fuck them. I lopped my arms off and replaced them with wheels like immediately afterwards. Now I just lay on my face and run around with my back legs. I'll tell you, when I watched Finding Nemo, I just threw my kid in the air and dived in after him. I was like, fuck it. It sounded great. I was like, I threw him in. I closed my eyes because otherwise it's cheating.

Throw a little chum in there with him. Right, yeah. I spun around three times, like pinned the tail on the donkey, and I dived in to find oh man you know that's that's how you do it see so that's what movies i can't make any of these jokes get never seen in these movies like i'm like the fucking grinch i've never watched kids movies so i'm just like well the best part is like i'm thinking like well you've seen wally but like what would you do like recycle you know like yeah after i saw wally i just walked around and said wally a bunch of times that's all i did i just kept saying fucking wally i've seen the incredibles so i guess i punched things after i said right but what a fucking ridiculous argument. Yeah, well, and he's talking about demons running Disney or whatever?

Yeah, in 1984. They were fucking OG. They were there, 1984. You know, he says, he's like, you know, if I were the devil, because he's posing like that. And he's sort of whispering. It's like the whispering hypothetical. What would you do? What would you do?

What would you do? If I was the devil, what would you do to get kids? Who gives a shit? Hide by Disney. There's no such thing as a devil. Right. Like, what would you do to get kids? I don't know.

Anything. Because they're kids. This guy is holding a fucking flashlight under his nose and he's telling a fucking ghost story. That's exactly right. I mean, that's what he's telling a fucking ghost story that's exactly right and he's like and then the call was coming from inside the house you know what i mean like he's he's a fucking douchebag on a radio show who's lowering his voice and using theatrics to try to scare you into thinking that you're taking your kids and paying the i was gonna say eight dollars but it's more than eight dollars right it's $26 a person to go see a Disney movie.

And then you got to pay like $14 surcharge for the glasses or whatever. But you know, like you're going to see a Disney movie and you're in the wrong. You know, what does that leave for parents to do? Because I know, Tom, you take your kid to like movies all the time because it's a good thing for you to do with your family as a whole family to go out and do your thing. But, you know, I just don't understand. Like you're taking away like a way in which families can entertain themselves in a relatively cheap way for a goodly amount of time. I remember going to the movies as a kid. I bring my kid to the movies it's two hours in a nice comfortable dark place like on

a hot day or like a shitty winter day or a raining day when everybody just needs to get out of the fucking house for a little while and now all of a sudden i can't do that because the fuck well i can't do that because i don't give a shit about demons right like i do it all the time i'm gonna go see fucking frozen tomorrow why i don't know i have no interest in seeing frozen but now i'm gonna go see fucking frozen just to see if my kid turns gay from it it's the stupidest shit i ever heard and you know the thing in here he says he says um if you were to just interview them meaning the parents and ask them is your vision for this little six-year-old boy eight-year-old boy nine-year-old ten-year-old boy that he turned into a sodomite my guess is that

60 to 70 percent of them would say that would be my worst nightmare and i'm thinking like well first of all if you phrase it in such a fucking ridiculous way right is your vision for him to turn into a sodomite i would i want to be like well i don't care if he's a sodomite but i also don't care if he's gay i don't know but I also don't care if he's gay. I don't know that I want him to be a sodomite, but I was kind of shooting for him to become a pillar of salt. Is that a possibility? Right? I guess I would rephrase that question like, is it your vision that your child will be secure in their sexuality and happy?

Yes. Is it your vision for your child to experiment with multiple sexual partners before they get married? Yes. Yes, it is. I mean, are you kidding me? My son's middle name is actually Danger. We gave him a leg up in that department all right. We gave him his opening line for every pickup at the bar at birth.

Yes, that is absolutely my vision for my seven-year-old boy. And I love, too, that he focuses on boys. Because the focus is always on boys. It is always on boys. Because they're so concerned with the sex act of butt sex. That's really what this boils down to. Yeah, absolutely. Is they don't like the butt sex.

That's a bad touch. There's a good touch, and there's a bad touch. And that's clearly a bad touch. So we're here again with half of Atheists On Air, the uglier, sadder half. Cash is here. But love is not with us. It's a shame because we both really wanted to talk to him. That's kind of who we were looking to talk to.

It's always no love with you and I. I guess it's Cash. I guess we're just going to talk to Cash. No, I'm just fucking with you, Cash. Cash, thanks for joining us. Can you tell our audience, if they've never heard heard your podcast could you tell them about your podcast and about sort of what you guys do is that a joke everybody's fucking heard of our podcast i mean we've been out for let's see one two months now and um no you can find us at aoa.fm atheist on air.com, Facebook, you know, atheist on air, um, a Spreaker.com. Atheists.

Um, we're, you can find us pretty much anywhere like that. We haven't had any luck with anybody actually finding us, but we are easy to be found. So what's the thrust of the show? Like what's the format. Tell us about the format of it. Cause you guys have a different format. You guys have like a call in sort of thing that you're hoping to do. Tell it format tell us about the the format of it because you guys have a different format you guys have like a call-in sort of thing that you're hoping to do tell tell us about it our

goal is to get callers um christian callers specifically um and do debate and lively discussion we right now kind of do a there's you know you always copy somebody, but do news stories. You do like those cognitive dissonance guys. We do, you know, don't try to copy anything they do. That's a low bar to crawl under, sir. We attempt to do, you know, a funny spin on the news. We do a science section, you know, where we debunk or we talk. It's all about the alternative medicines. So that's the goal is to do the science section. That's with an actual scientist.

He comes to the studio once a week. Oh, shit. And we record an hour and we put that into our three hour program because everybody wants as much as us as they can get and three hours just is our our limit three hours is your sweet spot the scientist who comes on what's what's their what's their field what what do they study he actually gets to do some unique stuff he works here locally in in the mountains with a company that does wait science in the south yeah can you believe that shit well they have no signs on their building because they're afraid of getting firebombed i think we actually have love on the line do we yeah i've been sitting here

going hey where is everybody we're having a blast we weren. We weren't having as much fun until you showed up, though, love. Woo-hoo! You know I bring the fun. Well, now we don't have half of atheists on air. We have the entire atheists on air. We have the whole entire atheists on air. All both of us. All both of us.

Cash, you were telling us about the scientists that you have on. What's their field of expertise? What do they study? What do they do? I am not 100% sure. It has something to do with medicines and he gets to do um he he even said the other day he had an explosion in the lab where he was trying to experiment with something so he gets to do some pretty liberal stuff with stuff are you sure it's not just a kid with a chemistry set no that sounds like a chemistry this this that's not a that's not a science lab that's dad's garage he um he actually had a small explosion and they they do testing for drug company stuff

all i don't know and he he does well with it and loves it but he he loves the going after pseudoscience and so he comes on the show we've done three episodes with professor steven so far and they are this guy is brilliant i wish you could see him in person he usually wears some kind of crazy looking hat he's got sideburns that are enormous and come all the way down to his bottom of his jaw and he can talk in a way that even I can understand him. If I were a scientist, I got to tell you, for fucking real, I would dress like fucking Dr. Frankenstein everywhere I went. I'd have a fucking lab coat spattered with blood on it. I don't care if I'm going to the grocery store.

Everywhere I go, I would sleep in that fucking bed. Oh, man. All right. So now that we actually have Love on, Love, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself uh we learned a little bit about your podcast already but we haven't had a chance to sort of figure out who the hosts are tell us a little bit about yourself and about your past here um well i had two very different childhoods um my my parents divorced when i was quite young my biological mother was pentecostal and as far extreme in pentecostal as you can get and then my father was agnostic and i spent about seven

years of my childhood living with my biological mother and uh it was it was an interesting childhood um you know very fear-based obviously but mean, she used to drag me in front of the church all the time to rebuke demons out of me. Oh shit. Yeah. Um, it didn't work. I think it just made me worse, but it was, it was, you know, it was very bizarre and I didn't realize how bizarre it was until I got out of it. I'm still very close with my dad. Um, who's agnostic. I think having those two very separate childhoods, though, gives me kind of a unique perspective. And I feel like I can pretty much relate to anybody, whether they're religious or not.

I've got two kids. I'm married, former military. I'm a disabled veteran, was in the Army JAG Corps. And I guess I've been an atheist for shit like 15 years. So what made you guys decide to start a podcast? Actually, you know, cash contact me. All the money. All the fucking money and bitches? Is that what it was? Bitches and money.

That's the pretty standard reason. I'm pretty fed up with the bitches part. I was already eat up with bitches. And so I, um, seven of them through my goddamn house. I never want to see another fucking bitch. I did it for the bitches. That's what I suspected love. You know, I had been approached for the last three years about doing

an atheist mom podcast and I was just you know I hadn't done one I wasn't sure I was interested I didn't think I had time and then when cash came to me about this show I was like oh fuck yeah I could do this this would be fun and first time in the studio I had so much fun and um now I'm quitting all my other jobs just so I can do this all the time. So did you guys know each other before you started podcasting? Yeah, for a total of two or three months. Yeah, a long time. We go way back.

Way back. Different schools together and everything. You guys sound so natural together. Like you guys have this really good connection. You sound like you've known each other for years. We hit it off. really good connection. You sound like you've known each other for years. We hit it off. She's she's the president of WNC humanists here. And I think there's about seven or eight other titles she carries around in her purse. And she she is like spread thin in the

atheist movement. I was at a meeting and I, you know, we, I had already met her and stuff. And I said, Hey, you know, I'm going to try to start a podcast. And what, what do you think about joining me? And she said, fuck yeah. And, and so we started that motherfucker and we, we just surpassed David Smalley. We've, you know, um, with four listeners and, and, um, so he can suck on that one wow and we're doing it's so fun it's a it's a great show um i love that it's explicit so i can say whatever the fuck i want whenever i want this show is actually clean so if you could watch your language i must have been getting the unedited version off of itunes i'm amazed that you guys only knew each other for a few months it took

cecil 16 years of vetting me before he finally said fine i'll tell you, if any two people flow, you two do. And if there's any podcast that we've talked about at any length that's been cognitive dissonance. Yes. And Scathing Atheist is also one of my favorites. Yeah. I wouldn't have known about them had I known. We have a member that's in our group here at Asheville Atheists and Asheville Skeptics. Two different groups, but he's in both. And he's a little whore.

And his name is Kevin. And Kevin said, hey, Cash, have you heard Cognitive Dissonance? This was back in, I think, June. And I said, who the fuck? And he goes, yeah, it's these guys in Chicago. And I said, I fucking listen to a bunch of Yankees on a fucking. I said, they can't have nothing on. You should see my hat.

And I love macaroni, too, by the way. Love it. You are a doodle dandy, I will tell you. I am a dandy, my friend. We learned about love here. Let's hear about you because you have a really interesting past there, Cash. Mormon and in the South? Mormon in the South. So like were you and i gotta ask were you an outcast as a mormon in the south well i was um i have been for five years at 38 i figured this out

and i left religion altogether i was preaching in a non-denominational church for three years prior to leaving. My goal was, is I was on the way home from church and I got a vision that I needed to be an evangelist. And I, so I decided I'm going to start studying the Bible. So the next three years. Okay. Before you, before you get into that, I got to ask you, what does that mean? I had a vision. Back. I could have told you, I, I felt like God had called me. I saw in my, you know, in my head, um, me preaching in front of big crowds and traveling.

And so I was, and I'm sure the idea got put into my head by TD Jakes or somebody that I listened to. And so I, I decided, okay, the Lord's called me to do this. I told my wife, she goes, oh, fuck, you know? And, and so we decided we were going to do this. I, I took the Bible and I said, you know, there's so much of the Bible. I'm unsure about what I have a mixed version because I grew up with the Book of Mormon the Bible the Pearl of Great Price the Doctrine and Covenants and it all runs together and I didn't want to be preaching and go well Brigham Young said and and and really fuck up the sermon so I didn't think it would go over well well it probably would have worked because Christians don't read their bibles so they wouldn't have noticed so exactly yeah right that's for you to read you know like well

before let me let me ask you this i have another question related to you becoming like when you became a preacher so uh how many years of education was involved to become a preacher. Like, I'm sure there was a pretty significant... No, no, pretty much you don't have to go to any school to call yourself a preacher, or you can even get... Certainly there had to be a test or a license. No, no, I'm an ordained minister now in the First Church of A of atheism and that took seven dollars and so and as long as i could type out my name on the keyboard i was good to go well no there was no test but i already had a good handle on the scriptures because

in in the mormon church you go to seminary for four years irregardless whether you're going to be a preacher so i had already been to seminary for four years i already had a good handle but i had a mixed a mixed up you know like a what do they call that shit like a potpourri of religious nonsense and i didn't it didn't smell as good as potpourri, but you get the you get my point. And so we we ended up I ended up studying and I was preaching part time, you know, for free and and enjoying it. I was enjoying the attention. I thought I was making a difference. And the more I read, the more fucked up shit started sounding. the more fucked up shit started sounding and and i was keeping stacks of yellow pads as i took notes because i was you know i'd go oh this would make a good sermon about um lot and it's oh fuck what what the fuck did lot just do and and that kind of shit you know so wait i'm sorry, I've got to interrupt one more time because, wait a minute, four years in seminary and there's one book and then later you read it. No, no, there's more than one book in seminary. You get the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Pearl of Great Price, the Doctrine and Covenants.

And the what? Is it called? The Pearl of Great Price. I've heard of this. I fucking love the title of it so much. Yes. It's so obviously made up it's it's you know it's like the dog with shaggy hair it's just some fucking crazy shit

pearl of great price so so you you left the the church somehow how did that happen well i left the mormon church at about 25 as as I didn't leave them, I continued to pay tithe all the way until I was 35, 36. But I stopped going because I felt like they were mean to people. And I didn't like their rules. I didn't believe they came from God. I had my own version of God, and they didn't like their rules. I didn't like how they, I didn't believe they came from God. I had my own version of God and they didn't fit into it. But I did know for a fact they were the true church because I had had a testimony that was ingrained into me since I was about five. What does that mean?

What do you mean you had a testimony? Forgive me. I don't know what that means. A testimony means that you have a truth, a spoken or unspoken truth of knowledge of the validity of something. So the Mormons, once a month, they have fast and testimony meeting. It's where you fast and you not only pay your tithes for the week, you also pay an additional tithe for the fast. Whatever money you would have normally spent on three meals you give to the church and that's just a it bumps you up in heaven so you can't eat all day but they know you don't eat for 24 hours the whole day the whole day and and a mormon fast includes no drinking water or

anything wait what the fuck i would have a testimony the fucking truth i would come to is i'm hungry that is the truth i would come to is I'm hungry. That is the truth I would come to. That was pretty much it. In the Pentecostal church, we did three days. No food, no water. Three days. What the fuck?

Who does that? I could go three hours. I'm eating something right now. But, I mean, at 16, you know, at 16, you're fucking hungry all the time. And I can remember just couldn't wait for sacrament, you know, where they pass the bread in the water and you're like, fuck yeah. And I'd get me a handful of bread if nobody was looking because I was starving to death and or thought I was. And so anyway, during fast and testimony, anybody in the church who wants to participate,

you get up and stand in a line behind the podium and you wait and everybody bears their testimony. All of them sound the same. And I kid you not, they go something like this because this is taught. It's repetitively taught as you grow up it goes um i just want to bear my testimony today that i know the church is true that i know joe the smith was a true prophet of god that spencer w kimball or whatever current prophet is the prophet at the time is the true prophet and speaks to the lord daily i'm thankful for my family and all the blessings that the lord gives to us amen and that's pretty much it some people get up and tell a story about finding their keys and

they wouldn't have found them without jesus and shit and the and and everybody gets teary-eyed you know and you know all preclamped and and so we that is what the mormon church does well at about 25 i left the mormon church but I still required my older daughters, my first kids to go to church and to seminary. So they went to seminary and they were baptized in the Mormon church. Wow. You owe them. Oh, I, I, I sent them letters of apology. Did you really? did and i i got them on a conference call one time they were all in college and and i said hey um i'm an atheist and i have two daughters that we adopted at different times who didn't know each other until we adopted them as far as they were biological sisters and and they go thank god and one the oldest one the one that lives up near y'all she says she goes i've been an atheist since i was 13 and i went holy shit

and so bottom line is is it went over well and then I just started going to non-denominational churches. Well, they're just free will Baptist churches in the mountains. My wife's uncle, she has six uncles that are preachers. Wow. Do they like fight like Thunderdome to see who's the best preacher? Well, no. No, they all have their own churches, and they all disagree. Wow.

That is fantastic. Fucking gladiator. Well, her mom is the oldest of 14 kids and and so all the males in the family became preachers and so we went to all their churches when we you know we'd move around depending on who pissed me off at the time you know because some of them said women couldn't wear makeup and some of them said women had to wear long dresses I remember one time my wife wore blue jeans or slacks to church and her uncle Ellis who was the preacher he's still the preacher at Solid Rock and Baptist Church and he and it's a pretty big church and he said um like my niece right there in those slacks that's of the devil and she got up and walked out and then cussed him out after church um because she has a

temper she has a fuse about you know as long as your fingernail and and you know she'll climb you like a cat and she's a little bitty thing but she's feisty she's very redhead irish you know um just feisty and so i i decided you know we found a church eventually that was our home church and that's where i started preaching and i started doing an adult sunday school and i know i'm probably boring y'all to sound this adult sunday school like kind of what was going on there it was not fun i mean when there's a lot is there a lot of like submission and bondage and things like that or i've seen this movie tell me more see i'd have gone to adult sunday school if it was like that yeah no kidding i'd go now i mean if i could find one i'd get off the damn podcast and head over well at 35 i started

this evangelical you know thing i was going to study for and that fucked me it was the end of it for me i couldn't take it i knew that it was false then i started studying religious history and that did it you can't go any further yeah yeah well let's talk a little bit about uh humanism because one of the reasons why i i found your' podcast, I was listening to Secular FM, I had it on in the background, and your podcast comes on and you guys are yucking it up and I'm just listening along. I don't know that I was paying a ton of attention until you guys started talking about, and I love it, it was you who was talking about, was it you that had created some sort of charity for students who didn't have enough to eat? Was that you who had done that or someone close to you? It was her. Well, we had a couple of different things we had done.

When North Carolina discontinued the WIC vouchers so women couldn't get formula, as soon as that happened, we instantly set up a thing so women could get formula. We would buy formula and deliver it to them. But then there's also, they have a school pantry here in our schools. About half the students in Asheville, in our city schools, live below the breadline. And so these schools actually have a school pantry, and they ask for donations. And so I went back to my group after one of the teachers contacted me about it. I said, we need to do this. So after one of the teachers contacted me about I said we need to do this so we have brunch twice a month and every time we do brunch I ask people to bring

in canned goods and we're one of the largest contributors to the school pantry wow yeah kids should eat I mean this is like that's kind of basic to me kids should be able to eat food there's kids that leave you know they leave school friday and they don't eat again till monday yeah yeah is it is it difficult for you to organize like a food drive or like a charitable organization um when you don't love jesus more like when you don't well it helps if you have just filled to the fucking brim with jesus is that is that like does it make it more difficult like since you came out of the religious, we've invited him. He's never showed up with shit.

That motherfucker doesn't never show up to the party. I guess I did want to ask in seriousness, like, is it difficult for you guys to gather money as an atheist organization? Like, do you have to sort of hide that and just from the community can be difficult because we have like a Relay for Life team, both the humanist group here in our area and the atheist group, both do Relay for Life every year. And, you know, most booths at Relay for Life sell hot dogs or hamburgers. Well, I used to cater part time. And so, you know, one year I did like pulled pork tacos, you know, with like a, you know, a slaw top and, you know, like a pineapple sauce. And so I would do these kind of really awesome foods. And you would have people who would walk up because they could smell it.

They're seeing somebody else eat it. They'll come over and they'll be like, oh, this is where I'm going to get this food. And then they would see our signs and they'd say, oh, but I'm not going to I'm not giving my money to the devil. You almost had them, though. The pork almost tempted them to the dark side. It was very close. Well, that's why the Muslims don't eat the pork, you know, because it's so tempting. It's just right over the edge.

It kills me because every cent you raise at Relay for Life goes to, you know, the American Cancer Society. It's not like it was going in our pockets. It all goes to them. But, yeah, they wouldn't support us. I've, I've had, um, local companies that have, um, given out things to, um, for like a, you know, a raffle basket or discounted meals or a portion of the proceeds would go to your team kind of thing. And I've gone to these organizations that have said they would help us and they'll be like, OK, well, you know, come back Tuesday and we'll have things for you and gone back and said, oh, well, I looked at your website and we just can't support an organization like yours. That reminds me of Tom. Do you remember the upstate atheists? They were in South Carolina, I think.

Those are friends of ours. They had they had this thing where they were going to give away these packets. They were actually going to go help at a homeless shelter or something like that, a soup kitchen. Turned away. Yeah. And they got turned away. And then they said, well, fine, we're just going to make little care packages for the homeless. And we had announced it on our show.

And a bunch of our listeners are fucking awesome. And they will go and donate. And they wound up pushing them well over their limit, what they had planned to do. And they were able to give away all these care packages to the homeless. But it's funny to see them just get turned away. And you're like, well, look, I'm trying to do good works. Isn't that what Jesus wanted for me to do good works? What the fuck is wrong with you? Eve is the president of the Upstate Atheists. And I spoke with her and I'm sure loved it as well. And and they they did they they your listeners obviously submitted a bunch of

donations and they were able to these little care packages weren't little care packages yeah they included blankets and all kinds of stuff and so this was a huge deal and it helped a lot of people and they they stood on the opposite side of the street from the soup kitchen and gave that stuff out and the media was there um y'all did an awesome job promoting we did nothing we did nothing we just told someone about it and they did all the way either gave all the money and the other people did all the work we we deserve nothing for that we deserve nothing but i will say that our listeners were great and like i said once we announced that i had seen several people were going on and saying i came here from cognitive dissonance and they were giving like a 75 bucks and things like that. And they had pushed them over the edge. But, you know, the people in the upstate atheists,

they did all the work. They sat there and they packed all those fucking care packages themselves and they sat out there and they gave them to people and they did, they did all the hard work. And that's awesome shit. I think, you know, it's funny because a lot of people want to separate and say, well, atheists are just people who don't believe in something and you know, that you shouldn't try to organize or whatever. But Tom and I, we're both humanists ourselves. And I think it's a great organizing feature of, you know, being an atheist, but also being a humanist. And I think you guys both fit into that as well. Well, I thank you. We, um, I, I had never been associated with any groups until I met Love when we moved here. And I was excited to be around fellow free thinkers.

And Love is all about charity as far as she is constantly organizing things to help the community. And she'll rally behind some national stuff, too. But as far as locally she's an icon i paid him to say that you know it's and i think being in the south uh sometimes i think we work 10 times harder just to make sure because we have there's such this horrible stigma yeah um when you live in the bible pants and i so i think a lot of us work really hard to yeah yeah we have we have a listener that came up with that the bible pants his name's daniel bible pants and he he says that that's where the the cunts the assholes and the taints are

he called our show and told us he called our show as well and left the same voicemail he did i i heard it i heard it on y' as well and left the same voicemail. It's so funny. He did. I heard it. I heard it on y'all's before I checked my voicemail. Yeah. Absolutely hysterical. You look at Eve. Eve Brannon with Upstate Atheist. Here's a woman who's in school full-time. She's in college full-time.

She's married. She has three kids under the age of three and still finds time to donate all this time to all these different things. She actually created Upstate Atheist to be a charity group. That's all they do is, you know, work in the community. It's amazing. You know, you would think she would have,

she would be able to get into that church. No problem with a name like Eve. You know, they'd be like, come on in. All right. So you mentioned it earlier, but we're going to let our listeners know, where can they find your podcast? I'm like, we're everywhere. Okay. So you heard it there.

Just look everywhere, folks. I mean, we're on Spreaker and Blog Talk and iTunes and Secular FM. I mean, we're on Twitter and Facebook and we've got a website. Yeah. Atheist on Air is not hard to find. Well, guys, thank you so much for joining us. And now, actually, we're going to be on your show coming up here on the 24th of this month. Live.

Our listeners will be able to call in live if they wanted to and make fun of Tom. That is correct. Why are we – you know, I would – Cecil, if you would give me some shit on Tom, we could have a blast with this fucking show. I am the shit on me. Are you kidding me? Like, I am my own material. Guys, thanks so much for joining us, and we look forward to being on your guys' show on the 24th.

your guys' show on the 24th. So in our haste to finish recording the other night, we forgot to mention all the wonderful patrons we have to this podcast. So I want to talk about all the patrons. And we actually don't have a good system here to actually remember who we mentioned. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to mention all 70 of you.

So here we go. Thank you very much to Francis, Mary, Dan, Lisa, Beer Will. That's the best name ever, by the way, Beer Will. Curtis, Jeff, Joel, Darren, Orlando, Shelby, Jeff, Max, Stefan, Greg, Phillip, Jennifer, Danny, Jeff, Charles, Alex, Steve, Jeff, Benjamin, Stephanie, Daniel, John, Lewis or Luis, Anderson, Michael, Emily, Gregory, Scott, Tom, Marie, Lindsay, Jeff, Christian, Richard, Mark, Vincent, Peter, Alex, Hannah, David, Stephen, Stephen, Luis, Michael, Aaron, Mike, Louise, Michael, Aaron, Mike, Sam, Nicholas, Jennifer, Tom, Lynn, Johan, Terry, Ian, William, Benjamin, David, Liam, Michael, Thomas, Gene, Taisha, Randall, and Kathleen. You are all amazing.

Thank you so much for donating to the show. Your donation dollars go a long way to making sure this podcast happens, so thank you very much. I did want to point out, before we get into the email here, Tom, I did want to point out that a couple of people were mentioning that it wasn't Al Green who did sexual healing. It was Marvin Gaye. Yeah, I was totally just fucking wrong So we want to point that out. And actually, I think you mixing up those two guys makes you a racist.

It does. I just wanted to point that out. Tom is a racist, everyone. So I just wanted you to know that. Super racist. I thought it was Morgan Freeman that sang that song. Morgan Freeman is saying that song. Oh man, if somebody could do a Morgan Freeman impression of sexual healing, I'll play that.

So that's your task. And don't do a bad one because you make a bad one and make fun of you. So don't do a bad one. It's got to be a good one. We got an email from, what's that name? What is that? What is that name? Nakia? Is that what that is?

You got me. I'm going to say Nakia. All right, fair enough. Nakia sent us an email and said, I love your show. Recently found videos by Jacqueline Glenn, and she's funny as hell. You guys should have her on your show uh yeah I I've seen her before and I heard her on the secular fm but she's really popular she's so I don't know why that she would want to come on our show right yeah there's no reason yeah that

she would be on our show so uh we we like to only get second tier guests yeah I I saw a couple of her of her videos and she's actually very funny she was making fun of there was a guy who was uh he he sang this rap song about how bad homosexuality was and she tore it apart it's actually pretty funny so i've seen several of her videos she's sharp as a test so i don't want her on this show god how embarrassing would that be you're kidding me um we gotta i'm gonna end show with it, but I just want to mention it now. A guy by the name of David did a skeptics creed, but he made it for Australian animals. Oh, so funny. It's awesome.

It's so funny. So we're going to end the show with David's skeptics creed. So we want to thank David for sending that in. We also messed up the dates for Incredulous. We're actually going to be on this Sunday's Incredulous, and then it'll be released later on. So, um, so just so you know, incredulous this Sunday and, uh, and then probably next week, later on next week, sometime. I just wanted to mention too, that I posted on the patron site. Uh, I posted a post that basically said, look, these are a few of the charities that we're looking to donate to with the, uh, the month that we're going to donate.

So, uh, so if you are a patron, you have access to that post. So if you go to patreon.com, our portion of the website, you can look at the post I posted and you can see which charities I chose. And then there's also charities that you can suggest. And we're going to send out a survey later on. And I want to say in the next month, to see what people suggest. So, Tom, we got an email from Cork. It says, the Glory Hole story continues. After I told my high school students that I listened to your podcast, a few started

listening. One student in particular started giving me an upraised fist and shouting, Glory Hole, whenever he passed me in the hall. We had a talk and agreed that i was too old for prison and we would shout out gh instead that's fucking awesome on a better note you guys helped inspire these kids they've started a secular humanist group on campus um that's that's just awesome we we've done nothing again uh we do nothing these are awesome kids i love the idea that there's some somebody who's actually recommending to their high school students.

I will say that it's amazing that they started something and you got a secular humanist group. And good luck to them. And if they ever need anything and if they want to get a shout out or if they put up something for donations or something for someone else, let us know and we'll plug it for sure. Absolutely, we will. for donations or something for someone else, let us know and we'll plug it for sure. Absolutely. We will. A gentleman sent us in and I don't know that this person wants their name out. So I'm not going to mention their name, but they were talking about Jehovah's witnesses and, uh, and there's some crazy stuff in here.

This stuff is just nuts. The, they, they, they glorify the death of kids who've died from being denied blood transfusions and like put their picture in different places is like, oh, so sad youth who puts God first. I mean, like, oh my gosh, it's just horrifying. So we got a couple of attachments, essentially the Jehovah's witness stuff. And we want to thank this person for sending these in. This is just, it's something that I just didn't know existed. And they're just glorifying people who died from no blood transfusion. That's shitty. It's so unbelievably sad.

And it says, in former times, thousands of youth died for putting God first. They're still doing it. Only today, the drama is played out in hospitals and courtrooms with blood transfusions the issue. And it's got a picture of a fucking dead kid. Wow. Fuck that noise. So we got a message from somebody by the name of D who said, here's an idea for a podcast. D, I don't know if you're a listener because it doesn't mention that you're a listener

and you sort of plug somebody. It looks like you're a publicity person plugging someone. If you say you listen to our show and you're a fan and you have a suggestion for a podcast and you happen to be a publicity director, let us know. But if you send us a form letter that says, hey, you should have this person on your show, chances are we're probably not going to follow up on it. So if you're a fan and you like the show,

we'll definitely listen to who you are plugging. But if you're not a fan and this is a form letter, then you'll never hear this. So we got an email from Trevor and Trevor sent a long email and he wanted to weigh in, of course, on the Mountain Dew and Sierra Mist thing. Cause that's, that's been a while since we heard anything about Mountain Dew and Sierra

Mist. But one of the things that I want to mention is, uh, he called in and he left a message and, uh, and it was somebody saying, he was basically singing glory, whole,

hallelujah, right? And he, and he says, this is his PPS on his message. I called today and left a singing glory, hole voicemail that I thought was pretty original and funny only to hear a lady do basically the exact same thing in the very next episode. And what's hilarious was, is when I listened to that voicemail, I hadn't, he didn't send

this email yet. So I heard the voicemail and the first thing I thought is like, what are you new? Like there's like 15 people have called in and loved that so it's very funny he caught himself he's like oh duh somebody else already did it but yeah you know if you catch the glory hole thing initially that that joke's totally there but you know a year later not there well that's all we got for you this time it's gonna be kind of a long show but what are you you going to do? We want to thank Love and Cash from Atheist On Air. They were great. They were amazing. They were

super fun, and we want to encourage you to go check out their podcast. And you can find their podcast at Atheist On Air. It's AOA.FM. And they have a great show. They definitely are humanists through and through

and wonderful people. So give them a moment of your time. Go listen to some of their stuff that they've got. And if you're into, like a perfect example is if you like some of the people that we like, like No Illusions is on one of their shows and it's actually a very entertaining show. So check them out.

So we're going to be on Atheists On Air on Monday the 24th. So next. So we're going to be on Atheists on Air on Monday the 24th. So next Monday, we're going to be on at 7 p.m. Chicago time, 8 p.m. Eastern. We're going to be joining them live. So if you're interested in calling the show, you can listen live, and you can talk to us live on the show. The number to call in is 646-716-6404, and it's option one. I'm going to post that on this week's show notes.

So if you're interested, and I'll post the time, and I'll also post where you can listen to Xara on Blog Talk. And you can listen live, and you can give us a call, and you can chat with us if you want. We'd love to hear from people. can give us a call and you can chat with us if you want we'd love to hear from people so uh so we're gonna leave you this week not with tom skeptics creed but with the a oh the australian crazy fucking animal hey tom and cecil dave from canberra australia here the most glorious of holes to you i hear

you guys talking a lot about australia and all of the things that can kill you in Australia, which is the everything. So I thought I'd rewrite the skeptic's creed, and I called it the Australian's creed. Australia is not a virtue. It's venomous, poisonous, necrotising, fasciitis bullshit. Couched in teeth tearing, tail stinging, flesh ripped from the bone, face melting, spine removing,

oh my god, what is that and how many legs does it have? Scariness. Spiders, stingrays, jellyfish, bull ants, termites, crocodiles, sharks and leeches, octopi, redbacks, taipans, centipedes, adders, stonefish, funnel webs, pythons, rats and millipedesedes Lizards, Dragons, Giant Worms

Great White Dolphins, Wasps, Cane Toads Kill you dead Boa constricting, life squeezing Wish you would die but the pain goes on Have your sides exposed Thrust your limbs Bloody, postulating, dismembered. Fear even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only.

Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you