Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 143: League of the South

Episode Date: March 24, 2014

   

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Do you want to get Cognitive Dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Hi, this is No Illusions from the Scathing Atheist. I recently published a book and Tom and Cecil were kind enough to offer me a chance to plug it. I have an ad that's played on a number of other podcasts, but Cecil asked if I could put together something special for you. So here's the ad for my new book, Diatribes Volume 1, 50 Essays from a Godless Misanthrope, specially edited for the cognitive dissonance listeners. Do you occasionally suffer from bouts of rationality, cognizance, and literacy? Are you constantly baffled by the failure of your fellow hominids to comprehend simple principles like evidence, statistical significance,

confirmation bias, and fucking logic? Do your jaws ache from constantly holding your tongue in polite company? Do you find yourself tempted to stand on tables and scream, the Bible also says rabbits chew their cud! That's not an allegory and I'm not reading it out of context, you fucking nincompoops. It's just wrong! Well, then we have the book for you. The Skating Atheist Presents Diatribes, Volume 1, 50 Essays from a Godless Misanthrope.

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Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 143, and we have no guests, not even half a guest. We've had two half guests last time and then we were made a hole at the end um but this is just us it's just the fucking two of us cecil and it's the worst of

our recording shows because it's a morning show yeah that's not good it's clearly the worst shows that we do are in the morning they're never funny they're never insightful they're just a waste of everyone's time we're time shooting a foot before it starts okay it's funny too because the other night was like we normally record on thursday evening and uh we had a text back and forth and uh and i got a text from you at like 8 15 on thursday night basically wishing me well because we had canceled and i had something to do the next day. He wished me well and what to do next day.

And I can't help but think you had gone up to your room, gotten ready, had started things up. And then you're like, oh, wait, we're not recording tonight. Now tell me that's what happened. No, I wish that that's what happened. But no, alas, alas. But, you know, I will say like. Because it's timely. I mean, it was perfectly timed with the moment that we would have started recording.

It's just weird not to be recording on a Thursday night. You know? I mean, it is. Like, part of me was like in like a panic. Like, I fucking couldn't remember my locker combination. I was running around high school naked. Your pants are off. Right.

You know? You're like, fuck. I just was having like anxiety about yeah you know because i i will say like you know between the two of us it will come as no surprise that cecil is far and away the more responsible uh so i have it's no one is shocked right now yeah i know people are just like fucking snooze that one up yeah but so i have i have occasionally had paused to say oh fuck we're recording in like seven minutes you know i'm like i haven't read anything well no i don't worry about that i don't care about that i just

i think i even overslept a show once. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you totally did. I remember because I texted you and I was like, hey, are we recording? You're like, oh, I just woke up. Give me 20 minutes. Yeah, but no, like I have like this anxiety that I'm going to forget the show. And I'm going to be like out doing something like a wave, like fucking and then just be like, oh, my fucking God. And like showbiz pizza, Pizza dangling out of your mouth. And you would think after 143 iterations of the program, you know, 90% of which have been recorded at the same date and time.

Right. So when we did move the schedule around this week and it was like Thursday evening, I was like, am I forgetting to record? And you would think after 15 years, almost 20 years of friendship, you would be used to disappointing me by now. Yeah, but it's fresh every time because I like to find new ways to do it. And I think that's what keeps it. It's the spice in a relationship. Right, exactly. It's just like with my wife.

It's like, look, I will never disappoint you the same way twice. I will innovate. So our first story comes from Forbes. GOP Congressman Stephen Fincher on a mission from God. Starve the poor while personally pocketing millions in farm subsidies. This guy is horrible. He's a horrible human. He is blasting the SNAP program, the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program. He's blasting it. He's one of the assholes who's

advocating for cuts to SNAP. And he's advocating for them on the shaky fucking biblical ground that taking money away from other people and giving it to those who need it is somehow unbiblical, Cecil, and therefore immoral. Because who would Jesus feed? No one. Clearly this is, if anything we've ever done on this show, a perfect example of cognitive dissonance, right? Right. Because on the one hand, you have a guy who's saying it is immoral for basically, and I'm going to say right now, he says, and I'm just going to read this, and your fucking brain

is going to basically turn itself into a wormhole and suck itself out of existence after I read this. The role of citizens, of Christians, of humanity is to take care of each other, but not for Washington to steal from those in the country and give it to others in the country. I mean, it, it, it makes so little sense to say something like that. I mean, clearly these people don't understand what a social safety net is. And, um, to be honest, we've gotten, I, I, there was a blog post about our show. I had read a while back, somebody was basically whining that we're,

you know, pansy libs or whatever, you know, like one of those like bleeding heart libs that we don't, you know, all we do is, you know, we don't want to shame the poor. And this person was like, well, I want to shame the poor. And then they wrote a big long blog post about how they wanted to shame the poor. And, you know, the idea is, is, is, I mean, and I wish I was kidding, but they literally wrote a blog post about how they wanted to shame the poor. And I understand people want to have personal responsibility. I understand that there's this mantra that they say, personal responsibility, personal responsibility. But you got to understand too that there's millions of people in this country right now that are unemployed.

It's not that there's jobs out there and they just don't want those jobs. Right. It's that there's no jobs for some people. There just isn't. They just don't exist. Like the jobs just aren't there. That's why when they come out and they say we're create they created, you know, 200000 tech sector sector jobs this month. Those jobs didn't. I mean, it's not like they're just shuffling people around. Those jobs didn't – I mean it's not like they're just shuffling people around. Those jobs didn't exist before. So those people who were looking for jobs in that sector then now have an opportunity to get it. People want to just say that the social safety net is bullshit, but they always say that until they need it, until they're the person who actually is on this – in the social safety net. Then they're like, oh, well, all those other people are just total assholes and they're just sucking up the system. But me, I needed this. And there's a real cognitive dissonance with people who think that they're on your goddamn face, you have an opportunity to at least pull yourself back up to get back into the workforce instead of just essentially

dying of hunger. Right. And, you know, like, which is which is preferable, like to have people who have enough money to eat and, you know, well, eat and stay warm in the winter? And, you know, I mean, is that is that a preferable society to live in or should we have fucking slums, you know, strung together with fucking cardboard and corrugated metal? And, you know, I mean, because that's a big parts of the world, right? Like, look at parts of the world that have no social safety net.

That's not a good like nobody would look at those parts of the world and argue that those people are better off, that the society as a whole is better off. You know, everybody benefits from a happier, healthier, more productive society. And that's not possible. You cannot, nobody can make a rational argument that society is better off when kids go hungry you know and the other thing to consider too cecil i think that a lot of people sort of overlook when they're talking about this is that most of the people on snap are employed yeah they're just under employed you know it's it's one thing to have a job but if that job pays you shit wages and you can't afford you know rent in some place and uh you know transportation to and from work and food

on you know what's the minimum wage right now eight bucks an hour or seven bucks an hour something like that yeah that's not a livable wage so you can be very much employed you can wake up and work very hard you know and be fucking really in dire need of assistance and is that person not taking personal responsibility is that a person who's like yeah well we should definitely make sure that you know because of jesus we don't feed their kids well you know the other problem too is people always say, oh, well, look at these guys. They're gaming the system. They're living off the system. Okay, would you trade with them?

Would you trade your life right now with them? Would you trade what you have? Because I was listening to a story this week, and I have no idea if this is true. I mean, literally sitting in a pub and talking. So I have no idea if this is just spitballed. But someone was saying that they're trying a new system where if you need housing in a certain part of the country, they just give you the housing. They just say, just live here. There's no fucking rent.

There's no anything. You just fucking get to live someplace. And they're finding that it's not only increasing the chances that people get off drugs and sort of turn their life around, but it's just creating a better situation for everyone involved. And I remember somebody at the table was just like, yeah, man, that kind of pisses me off. Like I, I, I work real hard for my house and I'm like, well, would you trade for them? Would you trade with them right now? Would you go live in free housing over what you have right now? No, you, of course you wouldn't. You wouldn't do that in a million years. You'd be like, yeah, I'm going to go live in this weird free housing area that I, you know i mean you

wouldn't you would never consider that but people think like oh well they're getting a free thing i want to get a free thing too it's like well you can get a free thing if your life sucks which would you rather have your life not suck or your life to suck and get a free thing i know i will choose not my life not to suck because like that's the prerequisite right right you know yeah exactly it's like you you don't feel like you don't have the prerequisites i happily will help other people whose life sucks why is that such a big thing to work like i'm not a christian and i think that's a good idea this guy sounds like he would be resentful of the fact that he would be in like a like like giving the poor like food like if he was in like a soup kitchen line he

would throw the soup in the person's face he'd be like fuck you take the soup and then he'd like he'd be like whipping the rolls and like thunking them off people's heads like eat the fucking bread motherfucker eat it eat it eat it put it in your mouth like this is a guy who resentfully would give you some aid it's like can't we just all just be happy enough that we're not in that situation and we have a little extra of the social surplus and we're willing to fucking share it with other people? Is that a fucking that hard of a thing to imagine? Well, you know, I do also want to point out too, that these people often are the same ones who would talk about how, you know, it's, it's everybody else's job in the community to take care of these people. Right. Cause they'll,

that's how they'll back out of this conversation. They'll say, well, that's, you know, churches do this and, you know, charity does this. And it's like, well, great. If it was doing such a great job, it would do it. Then nobody would need government assistance. Nobody would even apply for it. We would never talk about it. But clearly there's a gap.

There is still a need that needs to be filled here. And what is wrong? Like, what is so evil? Why are we at a point as a society? And I mean this. Like, I don't know the answer. Why are we at a point in society where we look at government as the cause of all ill, as some monolithic evil to be avoided?

This idea that, like, that there is something outside of society called government. Government is a part of the society that we have agreed together by covenant to build. We wrote a thing called the Constitution, and we said, let's build this government, and we'll all work within this structure to try to have a life that is meaningful and is prosperous. And somehow government is now considered to be this weird outside external force that's not really part and parcel of our society. If our society was taking care of its poor without government assistance, then guess what? The government would take that money and do something else with it. Right. They would take that money and make more cluster bombs. Yeah. Fucking A.

They'd take that money and give themselves a raise. You know what I mean? Like that's clearly what they do. And it's so funny that they want to, you know, I know we're talking a lot about this story, but this really sort of weaves itself through a lot of narratives that we talk about. And one of the things that, you know, we talk about time is the the the biblical laws that people try to put in place right they're always like yeah fucking no homosexuals and you know babies fucking created the moment the fucking there's a zygote and all that you know like all those different biblical

things that they want to put in place but the things that jesus said you know they don't want that to be enshrined in law. They want to avoid. No, no, no. That's fucking Jesus. Witness said no. Jesus fucking said it like you fucking he broke some fucking fish and some fucking loaves. At least that's what you think.

Right. You know, and it's clearly the most important part of your doctrine. You know, talk to a dozen Christians. I had a conversation this week about it. And they're, you know, essentially saying, oh, well, the Old Testament is just for history. We mean, we really, you know, if you're going to really refute the Bible, then refute the teaching of Jesus. And it's like, okay, well, if that's what you're going to do, then, you know, let's just fucking jettison the rest of the book. Right. You know, we clearly, clearly they don't want to, they want to keep

going back to it and be like, oh, there's no gays. And oh, babies are fucking, you know, the moment you think there's a baby, there's a baby, you know, but instead it's like, oh, there's no gays and babies are fucking, you know, the moment you think there's a baby, there's a baby. But instead, it's like, oh, you want to feed people? Sorry, I want to go and stand in line and make fun of them. The beginning of the Old Testament should have like a for entertainment purposes only disclaimer on it.

People are saying to me, why aren't you talking about the possibility? I'm just putting it out there that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding. Have you dealt with that on your show, and are you surprised that people are raising those questions? Listen, when you do a show like Decoded, no one gets crazier email than me. And we all kind of roll our eyes at conspiracy theories, but what conspiracy theories do is they ask the hardest, most outrageous questions sometimes. But every once in a while, they're right. So I love this story. This story comes

from the Daily Kos. CNN asks whether maybe God stole Flight 370, the Malaysian airplane that they can't find. They didn't actually say that. And they didn't really know. The Daily Kos is editorializing a bit, a bit. But but what they do say is that host Brian Meltzer, Meltzer, Metzer, Metzer? He says that something beyond our understanding happened to Flight 370, that something perhaps supernatural. And he said, especially today on a day

when we deal with the supernatural, we go to church, the supernatural power of God. People are saying to me, why aren't you talking about the possibility and i'm just putting it out there that something odd happened to this plane something beyond our understanding i'm gonna spitball in here i'm just throwing this out there but maybe we haven't you know fucking addressed all the natural things that could have happened to it first look i would be more willing to believe that tigers hijacked that point because tigers are real right like i've seen tigers now the detroit tigers are we talking about like the detroit tigers like they either one they just

didn't they're on a strike they didn't get paid they're just they're all in their baseball caps they would they would be armed yeah they come in with bats yeah no problem absolutely yeah and a menacing name because a tiger is a menacing name right yeah that's how they scare them they're just like fuck it's intimidation i love this idea that like you're just like we're just already giving up like some people are just already throwing their hands up so he's like fuck it it. It was the Bermuda Triangle. Well, is God like a kleptomaniac? He's like, I have no idea how that got in my pocket. I don't know.

I just happened to be walking down the aisle, and there's it next to a can of beans. I just didn't pay attention. Maybe God is like one of those like insanely obese people that finds like a ham hock in one of their rolls three years later. Oh, man, look at that. It's fly 370. I wonder if it's still good. It's my birthday. He cracks the airplane open and shakes the people into his mouth.

Oh, my gosh. It's like finding an unopened bag of fun-sized M&Ms in your couch. It's like, man, jackpot. I can't believe it. Well, if souls are currency, finding that in his cosmic couch would be awesome because he's like, oh, it's like 239 cents. Look at that. Or maybe he's like a kid trying to collect them all. He's got all different kinds.

He had never had a malaysian one right it's the first 777 that he didn't have i always want i now i can finish my collection i never took one of those i always thought they looked purdy he was trying to build the model and he kept breaking it so he's just like well he's gonna steal it from the store we just reach this down pluck just huge giant fingers just picks it right out of the sky what i think is funny though is that is that uh in a in a related article tom billy graham's daughter says that the missing malaysian plane could offer a glimpse of what the rapture would really look like and again this is this is more like man we don't know what happened to that flight.

It could have been something else, but there's, it's so funny. Cause they always talk about the rapture and they're like, Oh, what happens when you're on a plane? And then suddenly the pilots got, I'm thinking,

what are pilots? Like the bastion of good. I know that, that suddenly they're the ones that are voiped up to heaven. They're just like, Oh God's like, you know, the best people in the world are pilots.

Like I could, I could see the fucking peace core going. Right. What about like, up to heaven they're just like oh god's like you know the best people in the world are pilots like i could i could see the fucking peace corps going right what about like why would the pilots go no no the problem is cecil funnily enough like most of the people in the peace corps are probably way too educated to believe this bullshit so the peace corps is out like making sure that like people have fucking life straws and don't have fucking parasites. And they're just like, yeah, we're still here. But the pilots are crashing. The pilots.

It happens that the pilots are going. Right. And at one point, this person says that there's a funny line where they mention that maybe God was the co-pilot. And you could just imagine it's like, we'll be cruising at 500,000 feet we're gonna be landing on gold runway in heaven it's 72 degrees in heaven when we land it's perfect temperature all the time partly sunny for the rest of the day it is altogether right

to discriminate against homosexual behavior I'm arguing that it's time that we as conservatives. That we rehabilitate the word discriminate. That we reclaim it. That we dust it off. And that we use it. And that we use it unapologetically. And I believe we need to begin to say. Look it is altogether right. For a rational culture.

To discriminate against homosexual behavior. So this next story comes from Crooks and Liars. Wyoming Republican's book claims gay people purposely infected women to start the AIDS apocalypse. AIDS apocalypse. AIDS-ocalypse. That sounds better. I like that better. It's like when celebrities date.

You kind of put them together. You sort of squashed them. I like that. It's like Bennifer. Like you sort of squashed it together there thanks thanks i'm glad you noticed that you know i felt like it was pretty clever very good no yeah no i mean i'm definitely pointing out the cleverness of the line that you just said i kind of hate you i'm just every moment of this show is just regrets. Like every moment.

It's like that meme. It's like, I immediately regret this decision. Troy Mader, shockingly a Republican. Darth Mader. Darth Mader. Oh, my God. That's awesome. He self-published a book because that's...

Self-published, huh? Yeah. And it's titled – It's got a catchy title. It's got a catchy title. With such a catchy title, I'm surprised he had to go the self-published route. I would have thought that it would have been snapped up. Yeah. By like Blaze Publishing or something.

Blaze. The Blaze. The Death Sentence of AIDS, Vital information for you and your family's health in which he argues that uh gay people uh homosexuals particularly i think he's referring to men yeah no because women can't be gay no women because that's like the problem is like that's kind of hot for the you know so like we don't want to that's the problem yeah that's a huge problem for them they don't want to think about that well they do want to think about that oh they want to think about it yeah but um it says that uh the average homosexual the average will have a thousand

to sixteen hundred sex partners throughout his life and that ten thousand sex partners in the lifetime of a very active homosexual would not be extraordinary. Let me say that again. 10,000 sex partners would not be extraordinary. Everybody is Magic Johnson and Gene Simmons. Right. Essentially. Everybody can get that much tail.

That's a new sex partner every day without stopping for 27 years. That's how many 10,000. And that is supposed to be not extraordinary. That's a lot, it turns out. Somebody blasts that number out there and you're like, yeah, that's pretty average. 10,000 sex partners is one of those things that, you know that it's just so staggering that people think that. And the other thing that they think too, and this is super common, is that they want to say that AIDS is a death sentence. And you're like, dude, did you not know what we can do with people with HIV these days?

I mean they live very normal lives if they happen to get HIV. Yeah, I mean I'm sure it sucks and they've got to do a regimen, pills and things like that. But clearly they can live lives. They're OK. Magic Johnson has had fucking HIV for a long time. Right. You know, a man with 10,000 sexual partners, a heterosexual man with 10,000 sex partners.

You know what I mean? And maybe not that many. I have no idea how many. I don't care how many sex partners he has. Because I mean? And maybe not that many. I have no idea how many. I don't care how many sex partners he has. Because, again, this is another thing, too. It's like, I'm going to shame you for how promiscuous you are? Well, if it's two consenting adults, why the fuck do you care? Right.

Who gives a shit? And then he hauls out that tired, old conflation that homosexuality and pedophilia are somehow linked to one another because another claim in his book is that many homosexuals demand the right to have sexual acts with children of any age, including infants. It's like nobody demands that right.

Nobody is demanding that right. Nobody's like, I demand the right to fuck babies. Nobody demands that. It's like Kennedy's like a demand the right to fuck babies like nobody nobody demands like kennedy's like a baby in every pot like who would you demand that right from like i don't know like the demanding my rights board that you have to petition because i'm not familiar with that are they trying to take like a case to the supreme court where the homosexuals like i think i should be able to fuck a baby like that's not what are you talking about why would and the

idea that it's many homosexuals that like it's just it's just it's tired it's like what what they're doing is saying like if you're not grossed out by this thing you'll certainly be appalled by that never mind that it's not true no it's exactly's exactly it. And then they kind of want to go out of their way to say, well, they purposefully, you know, again, because being a homosexual is a choice, they purposely went out of their way to basically give HIV to women. And that's what started it was that the homosexuals went out of their way to get not that, you know, somebody can be a bisexual or that you know like it's it's just a sexually transmitted disease and sometimes you know like and it's also intravenously transmitted to probably even more readily transmitted through needles through dirty needles than anything else and you're just like well you know you clearly don't even understand how the disease works and you wrote a whole book on it i mean you wrote a whole book with the fucking aids and the goddamn title. I know. I know.

And then the reason that this is still relevant is he's still standing behind it. It's a huge book. It's like a shield-sized book. That's why he's standing behind it. He wrote the book a long time ago, and people are like, yeah, do you think that that's still a true? Because time has passed, and nobody really thinks that. And we kind of know about AIDS a lot better than we used to. Right.

And then he's also recommending in the book that there be nationwide mandatory testing. That's not governmental intrusion. That we just do a nationwide mandatory medical screening. Why does he want to do that anyway? He's already down on promiscuity. Like if you're down so badly on promiscuity, then clearly you're not a promiscuous guy. So what do you care? Right.

Yeah, well, so it's a scarlet letter issue, right? Like, that's what he wants. So we're going to take a break and give you some information on how to donate the show, how to contact the show, and we'll return in just a moment with the rest of the show. If you would like to contact the show, visit the website DissidencePod.com for the links to the Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus,

and email accounts. You can also call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Did you know that you can become a patron of the show? Go to Patreon.com.

That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. And you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you don't want to donate money, please take a moment to give us a good review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell a like-minded friend about the show. So to everyone who supports the show, Glory Hole, you fucking rock. Do they do any interviews with scientists themselves during this whole thing, and do they ever give a creationist any time? Well, no, the creationists aren't even on the radar screen for them.

They wouldn't even consider us plausible at all. I don't recall having seen any interviews with people that may yet come, but it's based upon the narration from the host and then various types of little video clips of various things, cartoons and things like that. Boy, but when you have so many scientists who simply do not accept Darwinian evolution, seems to me that that might be something to throw in there. You know the old, some scientists say this, others disagree and think this. But that's not even allowed.

No, and not even the recognition that abiogenesis, belief in that, is contrary to good science. I was struck in the first episode where he talked about science, how all ideas are discussed, everything's up for discussion, it's all on the table. And I thought to myself, no, consideration of special creation is definitely not open for discussion, it would seem. So this story comes from the raw story. Creationists demand equal airtime on Neil deGrasse Tyson's Cosmos to provide balance. Equal airtime? Yeah.

Why don't you go ahead and email that request over to Neil deGrasse Tyson? I'm sure that he will stop the show and I hope that they do it. And that way I could send a request to pastor Hagee and see if I can get on his stage for half the time. Right. Everybody should get equal time everywhere. Cecil. That's, that's what I've decided is that no,

I'm serious. Everywhere you go, everybody else should get equal time and that way you know like if you go to uh Dunkin Donuts Starbucks gets equal time so if you get coffee and they're like no it's otherwise it's not fair it's not it's true Cecil it's true you're not presenting all sides of the issue. When I get a Whopper, I should also get a Big Mac. I'm just saying. Because otherwise, I'm not giving equal time. Well, no, because you're huge and you need all that calories. Right.

You absolutely need all those calories. I like that Tyson responded, though, because I'm going to read directly from the article. This is from the Raw Story. And this is written by the Raw Story. It says, Tyson recently said science reporting should not be balanced with non-scientific claims so that seems unlikely that he would offer some sort of fallacious argument on his show and it says here this is a quote directly from tyson you don't talk about the spherical earth with nasa and then say let's give equal time to flat earthers plus science is not there for you to cherry pick so he clearly said this this is awesome that he went out of his way to say look we're not going to give equal time to flat earthers plus science is not there for you to cherry pick so he clearly

said this this is awesome that he went out of his way to say look we're not going to give equal time to flat earthers we're not going to give equal time to holocaust deniers or anybody else out there who has some crackpot pot theme that has no scientific basis you don't get to fucking play on the board and that's the way to treat it right the way to treat it is just to mock it like we just compare we need it like people just need to dismiss the idea um of special creation like they just need to dismiss it like like the flat earth theory like holocaust denial it should just be like oh that's for crazy people need to do the same thing like it should just be scoffed off the way that this is treated like why why would I give equal time to – I may as well give equal time to like a platypus wearing a hat.

I would love – actually, to be honest, I would probably watch a platypus wearing a hat show. I think that would be a really, really awesome – or two otters hugging like the entire – it's just like a super cute show. I would watch that all day. I also think that if you listen to this clip and the listeners just heard this clip, but if you listen to it, you get a chance to hear them saying, oh, well, they talk about abiogenesis, blah, blah, blah. And it's like he essentially says in one of the episodes, he says, we don't know. We're not sure. We don't know. We're not sure. We don't know. And I don't know that I've ever heard a single person on any of the science shows I ever watched go, this is how we,

you know, this is how life began. This is how life sparked. Nobody knows. There still is this, we're not sure, we're not sure. And that's okay. It's okay not to know. It's actually better not to know than to profess you do know and have no proof. So the whole idea of evolution that the earth is a million years old

or millions and millions or whatever years old is absolutely antithetical to America. When you hear folks describe the earth as millions and millions of years old like you do on every television show or every news report you should know that they are either willfully anti-american which they could be or they are ignorant of their own history and heritage now what i am saying is that the promotion of evolution is an act of disloyalty to America. That's what I'm saying. So this story comes from the Raw story. League of the South official. Teaching evolution is an act of disloyalty to America. So this obviously dovetails with the Cosmos thing.

So evidently there is, Cecil, a League of the South, first of all. Do they get their own uniforms? They do. They're gray. They've got a flag. They do. They do. And they are. They have dentures.

They have dentures that they can put in. They are going to oppose the war of northern aggression. They are. Yeah. They will rise again. There's a League of the South. They'll rise again. There's a League of the South. They'll rise again. Evolutionary thinking is dangerous and anti-American.

What I'm saying, this is a quote, what I'm saying is that the promotion of evolution is an act of disloyalty to America. What I'm saying is there's no way you can support or believe evolution and sing God bless America during the seventh inning stretch. Those two things cannot be done, Cecil. No. So I have done those things. Do they sing the seventh inning stretch in the League of the South?

I don't know if they sing. Is that a thing that they do? You think they sing Dixie or something? Rebel Cry is all it is. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol. That's what they sing inixie or something. Rebel Cry is all it is. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol. That's what they sing in the seventh inning stretch. At one point in this video, he says, all men are created equal. Not evolved equal, created equal.

And I want to just ask you, Tom, did you and your wife create your son? Equally. Equally. I don't know about equally but certainly you know it's certainly a tiny bit of dna from you and then all of the rest of the work from her right um but i think that's how equality works right like the wood right do i have that right backs of others yes that's exactly every relationship in my life runs the same thing right like my relationship with you we have a show you do all the work

you know i impregnate my wife she does all the work everybody does all the work right that's that's that's why i'm that that's why i'm in management right it's like i have an idea do all the work i'm good at that you're like the quintessential american i know right you're awesome i just wander around watching other people do the work. Like you literally let other people pull you up by the bootstraps all the time. Yeah, but to be fair, it's exhausting taking the credit for other people's efforts. It's true. It's true.

It's got to be just absolutely awful. But the idea here is when he's saying, you know, and I think it's a clever turn of phrase, all men are created equal, not evolved equal. I think that's a clever turn of phrase. All men are created equal, not evolved equal. I think that's a clever turn of phrase, an interesting way to put it. But you're presuming that there is some sort of creator outside of the people who just fucking birth those people. Sure. You know, like there's a way in which to say that human beings are created. Yeah, they're created by their mothers and fathers. That's how they're created.

They're created equal. Or you could just say they're born equal. It's real fucking easy. You know what I mean? And I just cannot get behind this fucking founding father fellatio we keep doing over and over and over again where they keep on saying, oh, founding fathers. The founding fathers said this thing. They said that. Who gives a fuck what they said?

They're not living. They don't – just because they may – one or two of them may have interpreted the documents of the founding of this country in a Christian light does not mean that all the rest of us have to in fucking perpetuity fucking follow exactly how they interpreted documents. Fuck them. They're dead. Who gives a shit? Stop putting them on a goddamn pedestal. We're the ones who are supposed to interpret this. We're the fucking ones alive now no the founding

what you're what you're misunderstanding is that the founding fathers were infallible they were all popes no shit they're all fucking there are fucking there are u.s popes that's a great way to put it that is exactly it they're uh they're they were all popes um so it was exhaust like if you came into the room while the founding fathers were all together hanging out, you know, eating pizza or whatever. I don't know what they did. But Franklin was like banging his mistress in the corner. Yeah. But you had so many rings that you had to kiss.

It was exhausting. Jefferson's banging a slave. They're all just kind of banging away. It's just it's just it's just banging. Like, that's just it. Washington's like sanding his teeth. way actually it's just it's just it's just banging like that's just it washington's like sanding his teeth it's like you walked into the constitutional congress and you're like it's just an orgy this is not you guys aren't getting any work done at all how did you get

any work done you guys are gonna have at least 10 000 partners by the time this is put that thing away they don't call him hancock for nothing it's not just his signature that's huge oh my gosh you should see the size of that guy's I ain't got no crystal ball. I had a million dollars, but I'd spend it all. So this story comes from Salive. StatenIslandLive.com. Staten Island man accused in spiritual cleansing of naked teen disrespected the religion, Santa Rhea priest says. So a spiritual cleansing performed by Port Richmond man that allegedly involved cutting away a teenage girl's clothing and rubbing her naked body with raw steak,

just in case you're wondering, is not an accepted Santeria ritual, according to longtime spiritual consultant and some dude, Noel Estrada. I'm spiritual consultant. How do you get paid for that? You get a check, and on the check, it says your title, and your title is spiritual consultant. Oh, my gosh gosh you're fucking you won at life you fucking won the thing is convince somebody to put you on a payroll and that's your title at least he's a long time spiritual consultant right so he's not a rookie cecil this isn't just a rookie fly by night spiritual consultancy group this guy knows what

he's doing right and he clearly he clearly poo-poos what this person is so basically this guy had a t-bone and he had a pair of scissors and he essentially groped this girl with a fucking with a piece of beef that's basically what he did well it didn't start out as a t-bone but it you know when once he cut away his meat on her he essentially wanted to rub his meat on her And he did And you know the thing is I just want you to just fucking stop This whole story just fucking stop for a second And realize there's human Fucking beings in the world right now

That think in order to get rid of Some evil fucking juju They've got to rub a dead animal On themselves just fucking let that Sink in for a second There's human beings. They fucking, we have crawled out of the fucking ponds,

come down from the trees, walked in the fields, fucking basically taken grain and turned it into like super grains and fucking we've done all this shit. We fucking, we put a goddamn rover on Mars. Right. And there are people rubbing steaks on each other.

What the fuck is happening? How is that a thing that happens? Well, you know, the interesting thing is it started out dry-aged. Yeah. Well, it depends on how excited she gets. Maybe she'll be wet-agedged afterwards you don't know you know and and let's be very clear about what's happening here because you know the spiritual consultant does take great pains to break down where things went south see so and i think that

it's important that we take a moment we need to make sure that there's distinctions here because there's a right way and a wrong way to rub a fucking steak on someone. First of all, it's supposed to be a pork chop. It is supposed to be a pork chop. Well, not if they're a Jew or a Muslim. Oh, no. Yeah, that would just be disgusting. Come on now.

The chicken's got to smell weird too, doesn't it? Like if it's the chicken, they're like rubbing a drumstick on you. Hang on a minute. Fucking, that's hot. Oh, yeah, that was doesn't it? Like if it's the chicken, they're like rubbing a drumstick on you. Hang on a minute. Fucking, that's hot. Oh, yeah, that was cooked. Sorry. That's, I just, you know, I was good. That was my lunch, actually.

I'm just smearing my lunch on you. You know, so for starters, the cleansings are supposed to be gender matched. Right. So only male. The Catholic Church has that down. Right. That's no problem. Yeah.

So, I mean, because otherwise it's just inappropriate. Right. Absolutely. right so only male catholic church has that down right that's no problem yeah so it would i mean because otherwise it's just inappropriate right absolutely when you rip the clothes because it does involve the ritual does involve uh taking the clothes off of somebody right of a of an clearly this 15 year old an underage person so you know it'd be much better if it was a woman who was tearing her clothes off yeah it. Because, I mean, come on. An adult woman, right? That's much better. Jack, absolutely.

Spiritual consultant, one. This guy, zero. And when you do take the clothes off of somebody, it does involve ripping or cutting them from them. But they're supposed to wear an old pair of clothes to the ritual. Yeah. Because you don't want to ruin your nice things. Right. You don't want to, like, rip your Dulce and gabbana shirt right right yeah um and you don't get all the way naked i think you can leave your fucking drawers on that's what he does mention that um the use of raw meat uh and this is funny because it says be it steak

chicken or pork can you use like if you're in the South, can you use, like, gopher? Right. I think it's funny that it's, like, it just happens to be the three main protein animals. Yeah, well, I mean, like, what if you're, like, in a coastal city? Can you use, like, a herring? Right. Can I, what about if, like, if I just got some venison? Like, can I just, like... What if I just

have canned tuna in my house? Is that a possibility? Yeah, so clearly this guy had no idea what he was doing. I mean, it's... Yeah, I mean, gosh. He fucking cock-fucked this whole thing up. He is the worst

fake priest for a made-up religion of bullshit. He's the worst fraud santeria, which is a fraud right anywhere period it's i love these religions though cecil because they're like they're not any different than the established religions right right they just have different candles exactly no it's exactly it like they're you know the incense is like myrrh or whatever lit myrrh here it's just a fried chicken you know what i mean like it's essentially it's essentially just a fried chicken. You know what I mean?

Like, it's essentially the same fucking thing, though. You know what I mean? Right. Like, you know, over there, you wind up getting, you know, like, the wafer in your mouth. Here, you wind up just getting a tiny bit of, you know, like, meat stuffed in your face. You know, like carpaccio. Yeah. And it's so funny, too, because, like, it kind of sounds more delicious than the other rituals.

And you show up to a Christian church or something, and it's like, well, we don't fucking rub foodstuffs on people. And then they baptize you. And it's like, well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's just as crazy. That's just as crazy. That's not less crazy. Oh, hang on a minute. Wait a minute. That's just as crazy. That's just as crazy. That's not less crazy. Oh, hang on a minute. Let's light some incense and wave it around. If you want to pray to God, you should light this candle because Jesus loves burning wax. I don't. What the fuck? It's all the same crazy. Like the rituals aren't any different. They're just older. different they're just older right exactly that's exactly like it's like it's like when we talk about when people talk about scientology or mormonism they're like they're talking about other planets it's like well that's just a fast-forwarded religion yeah well what's weirder

about because we didn't know other planets existed back when we wrote the fucking bible right now we do and then we'll just be like well let's add this in hey fucking whatever you know if you think about it like another planet at least i I mean, it's also just totally goofy, but it makes more sense than like heaven. Like what's heaven? Like heaven is like, it's a place. It's not, but don't, uh, fuck. It doesn't actually exist, but it does not. But then it's like the ghost is existing, but not.

You can't even do anything with that information. It's like, it's like everything is Schrodinger's place. You're all dead. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay. Oh, my God. What's happening now?

We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now. what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now! This story just fucking sucks. From the Friendly Atheist blog, Republican House candidate who said autism was the result of God's anger over

gay marriage just won her primary. Her primary, Tom, in Evanston, Illinois. My God. I don't understand how this happens. I don't understand how this happens. Like, this person is credible? How is this person credible to anyone?

You would think that everybody would hear that and be like, whoa. You know, I've joked. I have joked that, like, any political. Like, you walk in the ballot box and you would light her ballot on fire. I have made the joke many times that like this show, if I ever had political ambitions, the existence of this program has tanked those political ambitions. But clearly you can just say whatever you want if you just get on the Republican ticket. Yep. Because this person and the person earlier who's fucking gay aids is the fucking plague of all times or whatever like those people

are just like yeah i could say basically whatever i want so clearly you could say whatever you want and go become a politician also i just gotta say you know like those movies those those movies with like this the kids like it's a group of kids like goonies or yeah yeah yeah the cast tropes yeah there's like yeah like there's like all these like like little or like the the one with the baseball the sandlot right doesn't she look like the fat kid from one of those movies the fat kid from all of those movies yeah look at that you know like clearly clearly she's a she's a you know she's got hideous worldviews but and i just thought it was funny to mention how she looks but you know clearly

she's got some awful hideous dumb ridiculous worldviews but it's so funny that she won by like five points in an area that you know i mean these are not unintelligent people evanston is a wealthier community it's a wealthy community i mean clearly these people what they want is right now they don't give a fuck about autism and fucking god's anger over fucking tornadoes or any of that shit they just want lower taxes right right and it's so funny that people are willing to elect people that are so dumb that they think these things are real and true as long as they give me what i want and what i want is to not give the government as much money as i do right now

so if you can somehow lower my taxes uh if you could somehow make sure that i benefit then i don't give a shit what you believe you could think fucking what you could think fucking lighting little kids of a different color on fire is fine as long as I get a lower tax rate. Right, yeah. Like my tax rate went from 30% to 26%. Fine, burn them all. Burn them all. Who did you want to allow rape on?

I don't give a shit. Just let it happen. No kidding. It's only $300 a month out of my pocket. This is another thing we always get busted on about like, oh, man, you guys eat cherry pick and it's super easy. The stories you guys cover are super easy. It's like, well, this person just got elected.

This person just got, you know, like they're in the primary. They're going to be running against the Democrat in an area that is that is probably more Republican than anything else. So, you know, they currently have a Democrat now. But if you come in with it, with a with a with a plan that like i said is going to benefit them then we could have this lady sitting and fucking i mean are you serious it's like fucking michelle bachman fucking i could throw a stone and hit her hey there how's it going all right i saw your sign okay and i'm here for my stoning i'm i'm a lesbian you guys guys are going to stone me?

So this next story is from the Huffington Post. Jennifer Luis Lopez asks anti-gay Harlem church, church, church, choach? Chode. Chode is better. Chode's more accurate. It is. It's absolutely more accurate. To stone her.

So evidently this church had a sign. They've had a couple of really aggressive signs, as churches are occasionally want to do. Can I read the one before it? You may. Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out, black woman. A white homo may take your man. I just want to make a poll here. I know we have a few black male listeners.

If you're a heterosexual black male what are the chances a white homo is going to take you away i just want to i'm just asking that to the audience just let me know what you think the chances are and a percentage scale a white homo could sweep you away well i mean cecily you're not you're not asking the question all the way because you also have to ask if they have been influenced by the homo demons uh you know i don't know those homo demons they're they're pretty sly i think that they probably know they wouldn't know that those homo demons have actually been influencing them maybe not you know maybe their butt might hurt a little but they don't know why they're like man

did i eat something spicy or i i love that obama released the homo demons like he's like the oh yeah yeah like he gets no like hounds like how the adamant cages release the homo demons it's not like a kraken it's like a film a crash the church later replaced that sign with one that read jesus would stone homos jesus would what would he he'd fucking hit a bong with homosexuals is that what that's what he would do yeah jesus would stone homos like i i i don't know the whole bibling stuff but like the bibling was it jesus that should be a movie though the bibling that's like an m night shamalan movie that's that be great. It would have a twist ending. And it was all a dream after Revelation.

It's all told by fucking Mario. Mario just wakes up. It was all a dream. And then he rescues the princess. Wasn't Jesus like the cast of stone guy? Like, didn't he? Yeah. Well, and this guy kind of was too. if you listen to the video

he basically is like i don't have any stones yeah it's okay awesome fair enough i'll come back i guess it's i i love she's like yeah so i'm a lesbian so i'm here for my stoning and the dude's like yeah we don't have any rocks so that's that's your sticking point yeah that's the problem do you have any pop rocks? Maybe you could just shove those in my mouth. You're so resource poor that you don't even have rocks. Like, that's it. And, like, rocks is the necessary thing to kill someone with?

I mean, couldn't you just beat her to death with your keys that are in your hand? Virtually anything that you could chuck at somebody until they... Yeah, I mean, like, the rock is just a heavy thing. Couldn't you... It doesn't have to be anything else. It's just a heavy thing. Right, well, Cecil, that's because the Bible is a metaphor. So rocks or stones can be a metaphor for bricks.

Well, heavy things. How about the Bible? Couldn't she just throw Bibles at her? You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth.

So this next story sure is the next story. This is clearly one of those ones where we're like, yeah, we're plucking from the lower end of the tree here. I don't care. This one actually is on the ground. It's like the rotten apple on the ground you kick over. This is like the fruititarian version. This is certainly not low-hanging fruit anymore. This is now rotting fruit. This is like the fruititarian version. This is certainly not low-hanging fruit anymore. This is now rotting fruit.

This is fucking great. Police release 911 call after wife stabs husband, claims he was worshipping the NASCAR race. Shooky-doke. He's out there worshipping the NASCARs. So she crashed her car, probably because she only could turn left. She crashed her car into a church. When she crashed her car,

did the pit crew come out and lift it up? They did. They're trying to change the tires very quickly. Like, oh, fuck. She got waved in by a guy with a flag. It isn't her fault. Somebody's standing out front, just like, go, go, go, go, go. The crowd went wild because they love it when they crash. Yeah, that's really the spectacle that they're looking for.

It really is. So, yeah, God told her. She said this, so it's true. God told her she had to do it. She had to crash her car into a church because God hates churches. He didn't actually say crash your car into the church. God told me he wanted me there, so I drove my Now God is just like, wait a minute. I just

told you to park in the parking lot and walk it. I didn't want you to run this thing up in my living room. Now, I realize y'all used to take in my word very literally. And look, I like an ass car as much as the next person.

I should have specified. When I said go to church when you were in your car, what I meant was go to church, park, then get out of the car and walk into the church. And then bring some cookies. Not crash your damn car into the church. It's my fault for making you so stupid. That's the problem. Who's going to pay for all this? I hope you had

Allstate, young lady. Pass the plate, folks. Pass the plate. Exactly. God needs a new helicopter. But she snapped out of it, Cecil. She snapped out of it. She snapped out of it. And then she stabbed her husband for watching Netflix. And she snapped right back into it, Cecil. She snapped out of it. She snapped out of it. And then she stabbed her husband for watching Netflix.

And she snapped right back into it, Tom. Then she snapped into a Slim Jim. Right? Oh, yeah. The best part of the story is he pulled the knife from his chest. I'm reading directly from this WSFA 12 story. directly from this WSFA 12 story. He pulled the knife from his chest,

returned to his apartment at the landings on Silver Lake Road across the street from the church, and waited for the police and emergency workers to arrive. What the fuck? He just pulls the knife out of his own chest? Yeah, that dude is fucking badass. The thing is that um because he was praying to the nascars he had the power of automotive goodness or something yeah he had a lot of horsepower to pull that out he just figured he would just change it out like you just be like i'll

just get a new water pump like that's a heart actually yeah you kind of need that's not a water pump it's funny because she says so god told me he wanted me there so i drove my car through the front doors and then she says stephanie continued speaking to police and said that the devil told her to bring a knife with her so like on one end she's got one hand on one shoulder she's got the god the other she's got the devil i think the devil wanted her to like bring the knife so he could make her a sandwich because quiznos is in bankruptcy right now i heard that i don't think he has an opportunity to get the sandwiches like he wanted and he wanted her to make one where am i gonna get my turkey ranch and swiss

cut the crust off the bread please you know it this this this gets crazier because she says um i laid down in front of the altar until he got there, she said. I prayed I would not have to use it on him, but I did, talking about the knife. Better than the car, I guess. Right? So you walk in and you're like, why is my wife laying down in front of the... Oh, God, she stabbed me. What the... Because he says to the 911 recording...

That's the worst surprise party ever, by the way. He says to the 911 recording, I don't know what's gotten into my wife well i know it's gotten into you and it's a knife it's a knife and she says that she smokes a lot of weed i love to smoke it she said according to the release sometimes when i do i start seeing things that others don't isn't god good he told me this would happen and just look, I am okay. I guess if arrested is okay and spending life in jail is good, then yes. But I would go with no. Clearly, clearly weed is a horrible, horrible thing. Take that pot smokers.

I mean, it was the weed that must have made her crazy. It's the weed that brought it on. I also like, Cecil so one last part of it. I also like, too, that she says that she tells, like, the pastor is talking to the pastor of the church. And he's like, yeah, she said in a statement that she was baptized here. And she doesn't even go to the church. That's the best part. She doesn't even go to the church.

The pastor's like, we've fucking never seen this woman. So she just shows up at a random church and is like i belong here i crashed my car i'm gonna stab my husband i love weed it's awesome it'd be like me showing up at a at a scientology church taking a dump and like fighting somebody on thorazine. You know what I mean? All right. So we want to thank a few people, new donors to our Patreon page. We want to thank Casey,

Eric, the Zimbabwean. Is that how you would say that? Is he one of the Wayans? He's one of the Wayans. The Zimbabwean brother. The Wayans. Yeah.

He's the Zimbabwean. He's the Zimbabwean. He's the Zimbabwean. There's like, I don't even know their names. I'm trying to think too. Isn't there a Damon? It's like Martin or something. Martin. I don't know.

Is there a Keenan Ivory Wayans? There's a Keenan. That's one of them. That sounds kind of. There's a Keenan and there's a Zimbabwean. Then Ross, Paul, Lex, Lindley, who we actually met at TAM this last year, Torben, and Jim. Thank you guys so much for shooting us some money. We really appreciate all the funds, and I'll make sure that the podcast continues to improve.

And I'll make sure to spend the money on useless shit. You like buy a second garage door opener. I just threw it in the living room. It sits on the sofa. I don't even need the fucking thing. I'm just going to replace batteries and working devices. I'm going to buy like a

quart of oil and just pour it out on the street for my homies that's oral so we got a message from brian and brian sent it to their facebook account lots of times these don't get checked tom i just informed tom that we had one so these don't actually get checked all that often but uh but i want to say uh we wanted to mention this um brian says uh that essentially i'm gonna i'm gonna try to distill his message essentially uh we were sort of fucking around last week talking about uh the oklahoma place that uh they had put 15 minutes in or something like that or a 15 second break that was it 15 second break over the evolution part we talked about this with cash last time

and uh and and we were saying well it's pretty it's a coincidental thing it's weird that that it happened there and actually some of that got some of that got cut we were sort of like well it seems coincidental we weren't sure but he clearly says that it was probably a coincidence or just a classic fuck up because he says that they don't get a chance to see that shit beforehand so they would have never known that the evolutionary thing was coming up they might be able to work it shit beforehand. So they would have never known that the evolutionary thing was coming up. They might be able to work it out through context, but clearly they had no idea that that was probably going to happen. So if they played it over the tape, the tape over it for the fucking bow hunting we talked about last week, then they clearly wouldn't have known it was coming up, that it was just some dude who just fucked up.

And actually, I think at some point in the unedited version of that uh that interview we did mention that but that got cut for favor of making jokes but thank you brian for sending that in and that's clearly something we should mention that you know it probably wasn't nefarious intent on their part to be like ha ha ha we'll cover up evolution it was more just probably just some dickhead who just didn't wasn't paying attention we got a voicemail I want to play real quick. So let me play that voicemail real quick just so you can hear what the person had a question about. Yeah, good day. This is Steve from Down Under.

I have a what would you do question. I was at Christmas lunch and I had to leave early and I shook everyone's hand. And one of them was a Greek priest. I come from a Greek Australian background. And my auntie pulled me aside and said, you don't shake his hand, you one of them was a Greek priest. I come from a Greek-Australian background. And my auntie pulled me aside and said, you don't shake his hand, you've got to kiss his hand. Goodbye.

And I'm like, what do you do? I'm not religious, so I choose reasoning over faith, just like you guys do. What do you do? I was around the next day, and everyone kissed his hand goodbye. Do I do it? I don't want to do it. Hope you answered my question love your

podcast catch up i gotta say firstly i love that guy's accent his accent is fucking brilliant it's awesome it's like it's like as deeply australian as you right it's it's like the americanized movie version of australian like it's that aust. It's like Paul Hogan or whatever. That guy's name who was like Crocodile Dundee. Like that's what that sounds like to me. It's awesome. We probably terribly offended this guy. Maybe we did.

I don't know. But hopefully I'll answer your question. No, don't kiss his fucking hand. No, you don't have to kiss his hand. You know, the thing is, is that if you're religious and if you believe it and if you think that person is a holy person, then they go about their religious rituals. Imagine it this way. What if every time somebody got up from the table, they had to tithe 10 percent of what they had on them? Would you give him 10 percent of your money?

No, you probably wouldn't. You'd be like, fuck that. I'm keeping my money. So just think of it in that sense. Like you don't give money to the church. You don't practice what they believe. Um, it's not rude not to participate in their rituals if you're not a believer. And in fact, one of the things that I always say is I would feel like I would insult the believers if I pretended to do the rituals that they actually take to heart.

Uh, if I went up and got a sacrament from the person, from the priest, I would feel like I was cheating the other people out of something that they find holy. I think that's actually more insulting than not doing it at all. So I would say don't do it. Follow your own set of codes there. If the guy's got a ring or whatever that you're supposed to kiss, you don't have to kiss any of it. Oh, fuck that noise, man. Like you think this guy is going around observing the religious rituals of of other religions just because he happens to be near them like when he wakes up on the sabbath does he just observe the jewish rituals

of not working and all that shit yeah right right that's another great point you know you've got you've got your convictions he has his you know you don't have to bend to him because he's an imaginary authority figure. So we got a message from a guy who sucks cocks behind the glory hole. He said to make up a name. He said to make up a name. So that's, that's who he is now. A guy who sucks cocks behind the glory hole. Essentially this person grew up as a Jehovah's witness and has a bunch of books, uh, that are Jehovah's witness based. Uh, I don't know if there's a way to do this. And this may be very dangerous for you

because you mentioned some things in your email that you kind of still have ties to people who are Jehovah's Witness, et cetera. If there's any way to scan some of that stuff and send it over, that would be super awesome. If you can't get to a place like that, I don't know that mailing it to us is a better idea. But if you can get it to us electronically some way

without fucking somebody checking your outbox and seeing this shit in there to a place that has a glory hole, then that would be awesome. But if not, don't risk it, man. But there's some crazy shit in here. It says, I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness and still have a bunch of books.

I'm happy to send some of your way if you're interested, but especially the children's book, book of bible stories which features murder genocide shitty art and implied and i'm gonna say it right bestiality that's the best kind of best it's the best it's the bestiality uh unless you're implying that samuel isn't about to fuck the shit out of a lamb on page 58 very funny guy who sucks cocks behind a glory hole. So thank you very much for sending it in. And please, if you can, get some of that stuff to us. Great.

If not, don't fucking break your neck or get fucking outed doing it. And if you've got to send something, just send page 58. Yeah, just 58. We got a message from Lee, and this is an interesting question. He says, a thought occurs to me.

If morals really did come from God, then shouldn't they be ingrained? Why should we have to teach our children morals? Shouldn't they just be instinctive like bodily functions? Why would Christians even need shows like Bible Man or Veggie Tales? What the fuck is a Veggie Tale? They're like weird religious cartoons for dumb kids or something. Well, that's weird.

Veggie Tales? It's a bunch of vegetables that walk around and like go on the ark. Oh, okay. Fair enough. I've never even heard of those. Well, that's weird. Yeah. Veggie tails? Yeah, it's a bunch of vegetables that walk around and like go on the ark. Oh, okay. Fair enough. I've never seen it. I just know that it's vegetables that – You know, vegetables walking around and going on an ark is just as plausible as no one going on the ark. Who cares?

What the fuck? Might as well be. I want to mention that that I don't think follows their doctrine very well because I think that there needs to be some component of free will. So I don't think that they would be instinctual by their beliefs because they would have to have some way in which to do wrong and some way in which to do right. If you just all – if we all just did the right thing all the time, then there would be no punishment. And I think punishment is a huge component and reward is a huge component of, of religious thinking. You know, and I think too, that, you know, you can, you can have free will and you can have, uh, right and wrong. Um, and you can know the difference. Um, and that distinction can be readily apparent. Um, and you can still choose to make the wrong call right like so you can still

you can know in instinctually or otherwise or by reading your bible what the um you know right thing to do in a situation is i guess i don't know but i don't know how cecil i don't know how the bible would instill morals anyway like i i am i am baffled at the idea that the bible has any moral teaching because it's inconsistent. So like what would just teach you? Absolutely. You're right. It's absolutely inconsistent.

But again, I think that the people who do derive moral thinking out of the Bible disregard passages from like I say the Old Testament and things. And then they also focus specifically on the teachings of Jesus and things like that. focus specifically on the teachings of Jesus and things like that. And, you know, look, I think that there's a way in which to reinforce a personal morality that I think is very common in human beings that we derive from our environment automatically. I think that there's ways in which to do that with the Bible, just as there's ways to do that with any other text. in which to do that with the Bible, just as there's ways to do that with any other text. I mean, you can interpret, fuck, you can interpret Hitchhiker's Guide to the goddamn galaxy in a way that would allow you to derive moral behavior from it. Sure. As long as you're willing to throw out all the parts where that are bad. You know what I mean? All the parts that you disagree with. As

long as you're willing to call that from the text, then you're able to make those leaps, I think, of logic pretty easily. We got a message from Jason and Jason sent us a ton of music and he said, feel free to use it. Jason, we currently don't have a use for this, but we're going to keep it in our file just in case we come up with some way in which we can use some of your music. We want to thank you for sending it in. It was great of you to do. And if you ever do put up a website where you have your music and can send people there, please let us know what it is. Tom, this email made you laugh. Glory hole gone wrong. I love this email.

This is from Michael. He says, I think you should know about an incident that happened to me that you guys were somewhat related to. My mother was recently admitted to a mental health facility. eyes were somewhat related to my mother was recently admitted to a mental health facility who knew that if you're that if you're prescribed drugs for parkinson's disease and don't have it you can get really fucked up oh jesus oh my god anyway when visiting i wore one of your fine t-shirts the first cognitive dissonance shirt with the head logo several of the doctors and nurses commented on the idea of cognitive dissonance with one woman doctor asking where I got it. I told her to simply Google cognitive dissonance podcast and there would be a merchandise button.

It's easy to buy one. I should have realized that I sent her in cold. The next time I saw her, the atmosphere was rather different. She was neither talkative nor friendly. When I asked what was wrong, she said that she had no problem with gay or bisexual people, but the promotion of rampant perversion was nothing she was interested in.

I could not understand what she was talking about, and so I asked further. The reply was, that perverted website that you sent me to. I do like people who would condone, let alone promote glory holes. Awesome. let alone promote glory holes awesome i tried to explain i tried to undo the damage that had been done but to no avail fucking awesome that is great here's the thing mike if you go up to her and tell her tell her that the podcast wants to buy her a glory hole yes i will buy that yeah right now we will buy her and send her a glory hole shirt she can have one absolutely free it's on us so if there's some way that you can get her address i will absolutely send her one now don't get her address and i won't send her one if you

didn't ask her and she agreed randomly send it to her she has. But if she agrees to get a glory hole shirt, I will absolutely supply one to her for free. We got an email from our blackest fan, Ishmael. You can call him Ishmael. Yes, I was going to make the same joke. It's the only line I know from that book, too, which is awesome. that book too which is awesome uh so essentially he's listening fucking to episode 18 which was recorded sometime like by thomas edison in like the 1800s on a wax cylinder no kidding right he's got to go to the smithsonian just to listen to it but he says uh he says our argument about voting uh essentially he was he was saying your argument about voting uh he doesn't agree with and i'm

going to read part of it he says i'm a black man and i'm used to voting for someone who who won't necessarily help those i identify with clinton even uh no especially obama cared very little for people i identify with but honestly uh i think if mccain had won in 2008 we would have this country would have revolted. Instead, I find myself arguing with liberals about how indefinite detention for Americans isn't bad or killing Americans with drones without due process isn't bad. He says, look at history. Liberals have moved the right. Obama isn't a liberal.

He's just a black moderate, and that's very true. That's absolutely 100 percent true. Essentially, basically, he's saying that if the Obama wouldn't have won, then there would have been a lot of pushback to sort of push the country back to a more liberal stance. But instead, we just wound up with a black moderate. You know, I absolutely agree with you in that sense. But I'm not one of those people who would defend the drone strikes at all or defend an indefinite detention. I think that those are two awful things. And and if he were up for a third a third time, I would seriously consider not voting for him, especially with

the NSA and all the other stuff that has been happening while he's been president. I feel like he's been very soft on a lot of issues. He got, you know, healthcare sort of passed in his first time and people thought, well, he's going to be one of these guys who's going to, you know, be a person who's going to stand for the liberal ideals and he hasn't at all. So I feel like I would not vote for him and I certainly wouldn't defend a lot of the things that he's done. And, and I just don't feel like, and I feel like if I were to vote or not vote in an election, then I'm clearly disenfranchising myself. You know, and it's okay to vote for

somebody and then later regret it and be vocal about it. Yeah. You know, you can vote for somebody and say, I was wrong. You can vote for somebody and say, I was half wrong because I don't like some of the stuff and I like other stuff. You know, what we're sold, unfortunately, is an all or nothing zero sum game when it comes to voting and when it comes to politics and when it comes to our candidates. And so what people feel obligated to do is to defend their position, to defend their choice that they've made after the fact. So they come up with all these post hoc rationalizations for why the candidate that they it's the same reason people buy a fucking car and then later read reviews about that car. Right. They want to justify their purchase. And, you know, even as shit fucking tallies up and goes wrong and they're like, well, I like the way it handles. But the fucking windows broke. You know, you can be divided on something. That's okay. You can be conflicted. You can say, I like this decision. I don't like that decision. That's a totally reasonable thing to do. The problem is that so many people seem unable to separate the person from the policies

and to consider them as different things. And they seem, people have an innate desire to defend their choices. Yeah, no, absolutely. And I, you know, there's a saying, something like changing your mind is a virtue as long as there's evidence to prove that changing your mind was correct, you know, something like that. And that's the case. It's like, it's so, there has been this demonization of changing your mind for so long uh especially in politics where they call people they they like viciously go after people as flip-floppers how dare you're such a flip-flopper

it's like look if if i'm presented with evidence and i change my mind that's a good thing that's not a bad thing that's a really good thing that shows that you're thinking about stuff. It doesn't show that you're just like, I am monolithic and nothing you say can sway me. Like who wants that person in office? That's a bad, dumb person. They shouldn't be in office. I am intellectually inflexible. Vote for me.

Right. Exactly. And it's so funny because we've become so divisive in this country with the two parties. It feels like, you know, it's like, it's like what we're talking about earlier. Like you can't be for personal responsibility and want to help the poor, the poor. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like those two, that's completely cognitive. No, it's not cognitive dissonance.

Like you can have those two same fucking thoughts. They don't compete. You know, you can have nuance to your ideas. So yeah, that's, it was a great email, though, Ishmael. And thank you for sending it. It made us think a little bit. And I don't remember exactly what I said in episode 18. And there's a chance I could have changed my mind by now. So we are going to be on. It's going to be later on because this show gets released on Monday. We're going to be on Cash and Love's show, Atheist on Air, this evening. So if you get

the show right as it comes out, Monday evening at seven o'clock Chicago time, we're going to have a link in this episode, episode 143. You can find the link to their show on Blog Talk Radio. You can call in and talk to us. You can call in and, and, uh, and have a conversation with us while we're on the air. Uh, we're going to be on, I don't know for how long, probably about seven or eight minutes. I can't imagine them wanting us on longer than that, but, uh, but clearly we're going to be on for a little while.

So if you want to listen to us live and you want to hear us and you want to talk to us, we urge you to go check out that, that show that's going to be happening this evening and so we can actually have more than our wives listening which would be a bonus. And we're even worse live than we are edited. Oh, we're terrible live. It's going to be just awful.

If you're like a rubber necker, like if you're just somebody who's like, oh man, I do love looking at a good car wreck. Now's your time. Like fucking pounce on this thing like a fucking tiger on sigfried right that's where you go so uh so that's it for this week and we'll be back next week but we will leave you as always with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in

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