Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 145: The Gay Ethic of Sexual Anarchy

Episode Date: April 7, 2014

Special thanks to Dr. David for joining us this time. Check him out here:           Clips used for stories were taken from the stories above.     The song under the Mad-Lib-Viticus is called Monkeys Spinning Monkeys, by Kevin MacLeod of incompetch,com.   You can fill out the Mad-Lib-viticus on your own:  

Do you want to get Cognitive Dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Tom and Cecil, it's Mike from Michigan. I'm calling to say glory hole, motherfucker. I listen to you guys every day, through and from work. Love the show. I suffered from episode one to 142 right now. I'm almost caught up with you.

And I just thought I'd call and say how great you guys are. But check out this album. It reminds me of the Clippy played, I think it was on 141. It's got Stephen Hawking in it. It's called Autotheism by The Faceless. And the song's called Hail Science. It's the shit.

And then there's also a band called Parkway Drive with a couple songs in there that's pretty badass as well. Anyway, glory hole. Have a good one. Bye. Hey dudes, this is John from California again. I had never heard of a state fossil before either, and

I looked ours up in California. We have a kick-ass state fossil. It's the saber-toothed cat. Awesome. Glory hole, dudes. Bye. Hi, Tom and Diesel. I just wanted to vent really quick with you guys

about the canceled cold air thing from your show last week. I think it's worse than you actually realize. It all started because Dan Snyder is a total fucktard, and he's so insensitive and a douchebag. He's the owner of the Washington Redskins. And he, I guess, wanted to prove to people that he's not a racist and a douchebag, so he started the Washington Redskins Foundation for Original Americans. And I guess to show how ridiculous that is,

Stephen Colbert started the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Orientals or whatever. And Michelle Malkin, the lovely, actually no, she's a cut pickle, from Fox News, who's just full of just hate and dust and that's it, started tweeting about how he's insensitive and he's racist and they need to cancel Full Bear and the show is just peddling, you know, stereotypes. But no, she doesn't do that. That was a joke. It's satire on Stephen's part. But she says every day on Fox News with Bill O'Reilly

and everybody else there, I hate. You know, spreading, like, lies about black people and how lazy they are and telling me how to fix our community and what we can do to make us, you know, stop being so damn lazy and stuff. And, you know, he even had that book out, I believe, from a couple years ago called In Defense of Interment, which basically is defending the interning of the Japanese. And it's just like, how do you get to call anybody racist after doing something, a couple things, you know, like that? Anyway, good show, guys. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason.

This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political political and there is no welcome at this is episode 145 of cognitive dissonance and we have the esteemed the illustrious david hawks on this show can we use both your first and last name because i just totally fucking did yeah for sure um you know that's okay there's not many davids around so it's it's you know you don't go by any kind of virologist uh pseudonym do you like when you're publishing

like dr octopus or something right that's what i was thinking yeah yeah i used to use einstein but apparently you know that got me into trouble. I hear that's taken. So you've read some of my work. Oh. So hold on now. We've got to, like, because so many people that come on this show have very high credentials. We've got to make sure we recognize that you have very high credentials as well. Can you tell us what your credentials are when it comes to talking about

things like vaccinations? Sure. I've got a PhD. I worked on viruses. So I did a PhD on HIV. I've now spent the last five years, again, still working on viruses in a slightly different field. And I also do a lot of neuroscience. So I've published on the HPV vaccination in peer-reviewed journals, and I've written a lot of stuff for a wide variety of audiences on vaccination and sort of the risks and benefits of it. And yeah, the other thing is I'm now writing the science column on the Secularite magazine. So yeah, that's a quick rundown. Okay. So you said you had a PhD in what is it in? Molecular virology.

Oh, wow. Is that the same thing that Jenny McCarthy has? Did you go to Google University as well? I don't think I spent my money. I spent it on a PhD rather than on implants. So, yeah. Yeah, I don't have botox either so yeah that's i guess i've really wasted that money now you feel like a fool don't you it's better than the botulism toxin i guess it's true it's true yeah well we wanted to have you

on the show to talk about a story that comes from today.com. More than 20 cases of measles in California due to unvaccinated children. And this story can be pretty easily summed up that there are more than 20 cases of measles in California. Measles had previously been eradicated, or at least very nearly so, from the United States. But it's back for no fucking reason other than the fact that people are unvaccinated. Yeah, I mean, the thing with measles is that we've got a vaccine that if you get two doses of it, you're 98% protected. Like, whooping cough, the vaccine's a little bit not as effective. Measles is really

uh incredibly good and it works really well but once people stop getting vaccinated measles if you give it you know if there's one person with measles in a population that doesn't have vaccination 87 percent of people will get measles it's really infectious but we've got a great vaccine for it so I I think in the case they're going, yeah, there's 70% of cases in the US occur in eight pockets. And there's two reasons. One is under vaccinated children and the other is unvaccinated children. And that's the only reason that measles is coming back. So can somebody who has had that vaccination, that double vaccination, can they still get the measles? Yeah.

I mean, if you've had the two shots, then there's a 2% chance that you can get the measles. Oh, I see. I see. A 2% chance. Okay. All right. Fair enough. One of the things that the anti-vaxxers like to spread is how vaccinated children can get this disease.

So why in the hell should I vaccinate my kids? That's one of their propaganda tactics. Yeah, it's to do with herd immunity, and it's incredibly easy to understand herd immunity. Say that you've got a child that has cancer or has something that means they can't be vaccinated. If you're vaccinated, then your chance of getting measles is one in 50 so two percent

and if the person you come in contact is vaccinated then theirs is one in 50 so within two the chance of those two people passing on measles is now one in two and a half thousand then you add another person in the chain and suddenly you're looking at you know um one in you know a hundred thousand, you know, 100,000 chances of it going through three people to get to your unvaccinatable child. And so if you've got an entire population like that, the chances of those 2% who the vaccine doesn't work for, or for people that can't get the vaccine, getting measles is, you know, it's called herd immunity for a reason. If the herd is vaccinated,

the diseases can't get a hold. But isn't it true? And correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't have a PhD, but isn't it true that only dirty little devil children are unable to be vaccinated? That they're the ones, right? Is that a clinical term? Dirty little devil children? Yeah, dirty little devil children. Okay, all right. Fair enough. They're the ones that would not be able to be vaccinated, right? The rest of us are just fine. Like, it's not normal people that can't. It's only, like, terrible human beings.

Yeah, I mean, there's the dirty little devil children with sort of those genetic conditions that come out of nowhere that means their immune system doesn't work, or those evil little children that get sort of childhood cancers, because, you know, they're just scamming the system. I've read public reports it's just for the money that they get that cancer from either that or god hates him i mean that's it's clear i think it's probably cecil i think you know you don't need a phd to understand this

it's that jesus hates them so let's cut the shit so i actually did have kind of a half serious question do they still do the mmr like is it still cultured in an egg culture? With the MMR, I'm not exactly sure. We've actually changed the vaccine in Australia. We now get MMRV, which is measles, mumps, ravella, and chickenpox all in one injection. A lot of them are done in eggs, but for people that have egg allergies, there's now a lot of vaccinations that you can get that are not done in eggs. So there's other ways of creating vaccines. And a lot of those things are available so that, you know, egg allergy is reasonably common and, you know, there's ways of getting around it. What, okay. So the anti-vaxxers always say that two major ingredients in the vaccines are mercury

and formaldehyde. What does that mean? Are they Clearly, I know that the myosol is not, but could you explain to our listeners about those two things? Okay. Well, with mercury, the thing to understand is that anti-vaxxers, so these aren't people who are considering vaccinating. These are the people that make a living out of being anti-vaccine. They're anti-vaccine. And I know that sounds pretty obvious, but they were anti-vaccine they're anti-vaccine and i know that sounds pretty obvious but they're anti-vaccine 20 years ago because it could cause i don't know they're anti-vaccine in 1998 because it could cause autism they're anti-vaccine because of mercury then they're anti-vaccine because of formaldehyde too many too soon green our vaccines aluminium, they will change and pick anything that provides them with what they think, according to the slimmest of straws they're grasping at, shows that vaccines are bad. So they have the view that vaccines are bad.

It's the same as that because Jesus, but because vaccines. So with mercury, mercury is an element it's like iron iron mercury there's certain types of mercury that are bad that accumulate in our body that's methyl mercury that's the stuff that you really don't want to be eating tuna that is growing up around where they chuck industrial waste out um ethyl mercury which was in vaccines and is still in a couple of multi-dose vaccines, but you can actually get that. You can do the entire vaccine schedule without mercury if you want to. But it doesn't do anything.

The ethyl mercury that you get in the vaccine is so small and it gets processed and essentially you, well, babies piss and shit it out. With formaldehyde, formaldehyde is obviously, you know, people think of it as embalming fluid and things like that. I think, and it's in the realms of, if you, I've got a four and a half month old baby and we're sort of looking at giving them food and they often say, you know, you stew up fruit, pears, apples. If you stew up one pear, that pear will have about 10,000 times more formaldehyde than a vaccine. And in fact, a baby creates more formaldehyde in its own body in a day than there is in a vaccine. What you're saying is your baby lives in a jar of formaldehyde.

What you're saying is your baby is dead is what you're saying. We don't use that sort of stuff. We use beer. So explain to me like I'm five. Now, I'm actually raising my level a little bit when I say explain to my, like I'm five, but, you know, just try to do your best. How do vaccines work? What do they do?

Okay, the idea is vaccines are essentially a version of the virus or the pathogen. essentially a version of the virus or the pathogen. So with the measles virus, what you do is you get a less efficient version of the virus. So you kind of, if you imagine yourself in a battle and you've got your castle and you've never picked up a sword before and you've got, you know, suddenly the army rocks up and okay, I've been watching 300 recently so this might be uh analogies here but you get these soldiers these really fit

fighting soldiers come against you you know you're going to be overwhelmed pretty quickly a vaccine is like giving you the fat old soldiers who aren't very good you gradually you build up that skill so that when you get better at, you know, fighting and how to actually tackle that sort of invasion. And so that when you do get those good soldiers, so the real virus, you're fit, you're ready, you're highly skilled so that when the vaccine comes in, when the virus comes in, you can just knock it out. And to go a bit more biological is you get the proteins from a virus or a bacteria, it gets injected with some other components that actually stimulate your immune system.

So your immune system comes in, finds these proteins, attacks them, and then creates cells that go, okay, we see these proteins again. We can, instead of taking two or three days, we can have a hundred thousand a million of these cells produced in a matter of hours and so you can actually your defenses can overwhelm when you come across the real measles virus uh in really short time so it's just about speeding up your response making your response to these viruses harder faster and more effective, which is why you don't get the actual full-fledged measles. Does that explain it? Absolutely. That's one of the best explanations I've ever heard, but I'm just curious where the prayer comes in.

Like, when do you start praying? Yeah. I'm yet to see the peer-reviewed evidence on that um and i'm also if you're going to do prayer as a way of defending yourself against viruses i want a placebo i want to compare christian prayer versus muslim prayer versus hindu prayer because i want to find the most effective prayer if you're gonna do it do it properly yeah Yeah, absolutely. All right. So now you're not just a person who talks about vaccination. You also know a lot about alternative medicine as well. Here's a question for you. What do you think?

And this is something maybe you can't answer it. And maybe the answer is all of them. But what do you think the most dangerous alternative medicine is? The one that if all the alternative medicines are available to me, I should really stay away from X. I would say traditional Chinese medicine. And the reason is because it can actually work. If you're giving homeopathy, you're giving someone a sugar pill with no actual nothing in it. If you're giving someone Reiki who's aligning your auras, well, they're not touching you. They're not doing anything to you.

There's going to be no side effects. I love that one, by the way. I love that one so much. Like, I'm not touching you. That'll be $50, please. Yeah, well, don't laugh. In your country, what is it? Therapeutic touch still gets financed from your government in certain places i think oh yeah um it's our government pays for nothing

well yeah and what they just yeah anyway so with things like chiropractic when you've actually got someone snapping you know moving your spine very quickly that also has the potential i've recently published a paper where i looked at some data and in canada they found that over 10 years they had about 23 strokes due to chiropractic manipulation but traditional chinese medicine you're giving someone a herb you're giving someone uh something found in nature now aspirin is from the bark of a willow tree a lot of people know that digitalis is the basis is a foxglove plant that is the basis of a lot of our heart medications there's a lot of things that grow in nature which are really poisonous back to botox so because you give someone a herb that could also be contaminated like there's a lot of heavy metal contaminations but anything that can

have a medicinal effect legitimately can also have a side effect. So that's why I think that traditional Chinese medicine would probably be the way, the one I steer away from, because I also think that it's the one most logically being able to actually be incorporated into medicine, not as having some sort of tiger penis, but actually finding which chemical actually has an effect on your heart or all sorts of things. Yeah, don't dog on the tiger penises, friend. You know, we need to hang this up quick. What do you know about chelation therapy?

I don't know. I was reading a little something about that the other day. That struck me as particularly crazy. Yeah, I mean, chelation therapy is essentially you inject in. It's generally something for the scientists like EDTA, and it binds all the metals in your body and you just get rid of them. Generally, you pee them out, but you can also poo them out. Now, if you've been exposed to heavy metal poisoning for a whole variety of reasons, this is actually really useful.

It's an acute, so if you go into hospital, you might have sort of spasms and you could have been exposed to heavy metals. They can chelate you and they can get those metals out. It's like detoxing someone who's overdosing on heroin. And that's got a really good, really strong scientific basis. However, for whatever reason it is, and it's to do again with vaccines, there's this group of people and it's a very large group that thinks that vaccines or modern life or non-organic food or whatever their particular reasoning is which is flawed think that you can cure it with chelation i saw saw something on penn and teller where they think that you can stop aging with chelation so they inject you sometimes it's oral but mostly it's a it's an injection

they put this into your system and leeches out all the the heavy metals now they don't normally get too much but the problem is we actually need heavy metals like you're looking at things like you know just normal metals iron so many women have to take iron supplements you need you know copper and zinc to actually for as part of your immune system. Like, if you actually look at all these different things that they use for vaccinations, they actually cross over themselves so many times. They say, well, we've got too many heavy metals. Our immune system doesn't work.

But it's like, well, you need heavy metals to make your, it makes my brain hurt. This is clearly the most informative segment of this show we've ever had. We've never had anybody educated on this show before. Including the hosts. Right. Especially the hosts. Are you kidding? Well, you know, hopefully I've cleared up a couple of things.

I listen to your show and you often deal with these sorts of things. So I think it's really useful just to lay down some of the reasonings behind why all of this stuff that is being spounded is wrong. So thanks for having me on. David, people can find you at Secularite, correct? Yeah, so I write for Secularite Mag, which is the monthly magazine. I also have a semi-regular spot with Adam Rieks on The Herd Mentality, and sometimes it's a full episode. Sometimes it's just something scientifically interesting has come up and also I'm more than happy to ask any questions or I can direct people to any any sort of information they want because I you know as you say in the

skeptics creed don't believe me I will put you I will give you the evidence you can read through it for yourself and I there's there's a lot of things that are really quite straightforward and understandable. They're not all just boring scientific papers. So I'm at MrHawkes, M-R-H-A-W-K-E-S, on Twitter. Now, I real quick wanted to ask you a question about that. Are any of the scientific papers that you would direct us to, are any of them in pop-up or scratch-and-sniff versions? I'm just because I'm interested, but, you but you know i mean i need to bring it right

you gotta bring it to your level i understand who works on sort of fecal transplant so the scratch and sniff is probably not going to be a great idea oh oh how do you wait hold on at some point in your life no matter how much good you're doing in the world at some point don't you have to take a step back and say wait a minute how the fuck did i get here well guys for a living i create new types of viruses inject them into the brain and use that to turn on and turn off little areas of the brain to understand what makes you think what makes you you fear, what makes you anxious. So, yeah, at some point I realized I'm on a watch list. You're basically Frankenstein.

Yeah, pretty much. You're basically Dr. Frankenstein. Yeah, but with less funding. Do you ever see if maybe, like, if you open the skylights, if a little lightning might come down and zap your… Have you ever been to a science lab? We don't get windows, dude. Do you think they would let me into a science lab as anything other than an experimental partner?

Or the janitor. Those are really two options. Well, I know you've sworn never come to Australia because everything's trying to kill you. But if you ever make it down here, I'll take you to a lab and I promise the experiments will be mild. Another reason to never go to Australia. Thank you very much. Dr. David, thank you so much for coming on. And we'll post all the links to all the stuff that you do on this episode, 145 at dissonancepod.com. Thanks again. Thanks for having me. But what the scriptures are anxious to say, it's far more important that we be spiritually strong as a nation

than that we be militarily strong. It's not enough to be militarily strong. If we are militarily strong but we are spiritually weak as a nation, we are going to go down. And that's why it's critical, I believe, to have a commander-in-chief who is a Christian-in-chief first and then is our commander-in-chief. Absolutely critical that we have a man who is commander in chief, who sits in the Oval Office, who has a personal relationship with the God of the Bible, not the God of the Book of Mormon, not the God of the Koran, but the God of the Old and New Testament.

So the first story we've got today comes from the Raw Story. Louie Gohmert. Gohmert. Fucking love this guy. Look at this guy. This guy just screams credibility, doesn't he? He does.hmert. Gohmert. Fucking love this guy. Look at this guy. This guy just screams credibility, doesn't he? He does. He does.

Look at that. Separation of church and state means the church plays a role in the state. Now, we've got a bunch of clips here of Louie Gohmert. Gohmert. Better go get it, Gohmert. This guy has got a, he just has like this whole little thing that he does with this music sort of flowing it out behind him. I mean, why don't we just let his words speak for him?

I'm going to play a clip here. This is him talking about how there used to be chairs in this building. But I want to take you back to when this was the House of Representatives. There were desks in here for each representative. But on Sundays, this became the largest non-denominational Christian church in Washington, D.C. area. We had non-denominational speakers. People were selected from different faiths of Christianity to come in here and preach. Different faiths of Christianity.

But I'm glad that there were desks there, Tom. I'm glad that they were. That's the most important part. You remember, you know, this is like, it's like the good old days. That's the most important part. Like, oh, you remember, you know, this is like, it's like the good old days. Like, you remember, that's the jukebox where Fonzie used to smack his fist against it. And that's where he grabbed Joni's ass right there.

He gave it a good squeeze. The good old days. Tight young, mubile ass. You remember when the good old days weren't real? So do I, Louie Gohmert. So do I. so do i and and this is the kind of guy who you can't have him sort of give a a straight line he's sort of rambling about and the editors can't edit around it when you listen to him talk there's no reason to have him in there where he's saying and we used to have desks in here like there's no reason to keep that in there other than he's just a sloppy public speaker

he's terrible and it's like you know you get what he's trying to do right he's trying to do the thing where he paints the picture you know i'm gonna i'm gonna paint a picture let me lower my voice you know right that this is the painting a picture voice tone i'm painting a picture with my voice and he's doing that thing and it's so fucking annoying. It's annoying when people do that because I find it condescending as hell. But it's even more annoying when they do it and they do it poorly. When they do such a bad job of, I'm going to paint you a picture.

And by paint you a picture, I mean I'm basically just going to fart paint at you. That's basically what I'm going to do. I'm going to do a fucking Jackson Pollock of paint by sticking a fucking paint can up my ass and eating a bunch of radishes it's like a it's like a paint bong in his ass there all right so we're gonna play the next clip this is uh this is a part where he's talking about um how they had to

repair this place i again bad editing on their part people came in here and prayed. They sang hymns. They worshiped God. It was part of our history. After the fire in 1814, there was a brief period where it was being repaired. But after the repair works, then church services resumed.

And then, you know, after six o'clock, they have to dust the pews. But before 6 o'clock, you know, then the pews, then you can sit in them. But, you know, sometimes they run out of coffee. He's like just getting off on this like history wonk, you know, where he's just like walking around and he's like, Oh yeah. And over there is where, uh, Monroe kicked Jefferson in the balls.

And you know what I mean? Like he's just got like all these little stories about the place. It's great. He's like, he's like a fucking tour guide for the white house. Like, but he just knows like the least useful facts, you know?

So it's like, yeah. And that's the great seal. And did anybody know the great seal is round you're just like okay and it's not actually a seal i don't know if you knew but there's no seals on it there's an eagle yeah right no seals are actually pinnipeds i'm not sure why you call them seals and they don't uh they don't appear to swim at all. I've thrown several seals into the ocean and nothing's happened.

By oceans, I like... He's like the fucking tangent guy. Whatever the last noun he used is the start of the next sentence. Could you eventually be in a... Could this guy teach in a class? You'd never learn a thing. He'd be like, yeah, so math and math

and Arabic numbers and Arabs are, you know, he just keeps on working his way down. Here's him talking about the actual meat of it. This is the role of church and state. This is the big part of the whole thing. research service to do an objective non-partisan review of our history and tell me if the things that i had read and learned were were backed up in their opinion and when i got the report back i glanced down and the first thing i saw was something like Madison didn't do this. And I thought, I thought Madison did come to church. But it turns out I was wrong. Wait a minute.

I thought, I thought Madison did come to church in here. Doesn't he sound like he's hopped up on fucking something? Doesn't he sound like he's slurring? Like he, like he had like a couple martinis before he did this taping. But as I read the report, it talked about how President Thomas Jefferson was talking about the guy who coined the phrase separation of church and state. He said there should be a wall of separation between church and state. But it was to be a one-way wall where the state would not dictate to the church,

but the church would certainly play a role in the state. One-way wall? What is it, a one-way mirror? Like a lineup mirror? No, dude, it's a magic wall. It's basically like a wardrobe that gets you to Narnia. That's like what he's describing. It's like America's diaphragm is what it is you know

it's like a one-way wall that protects one side from something fucking that's so crazy like it's supposed to be a wall but it's a one-way wall kind of like we built to keep the mexicans out like what the fuck is happening here last piece god has blessed this nation greater than any nation Last piece. God to bless this nation. And if we seek him, we'll find him. If we ask, it'll be answered. God bless you. I'm Louie Gohmert. I'm Louie. I'm Gohmert. God is going to shoot his sweet love all over this nation if we just beg for him to bless us. Oh, God, will you bless me right in the face? Will you bless me all over my face and chest? Are you about to bless me?

Are you about to bless me? Come on, just go ahead and bless me. It's so funny when he finishes up and he's like, I'm Louie Gohmert. I thought the next line should have been like, I'm Louie Gohmert. And even I'm ashamed to admit it. And nobody wants to be my friend. Let's talk for a second about this separation of church and state, because clearly like what his whole idea is, is that he's got this place where I guess that he says, according

to his little report, and I don't even know what the, you know, the level of research that was done on this report, but he's saying i have this report that says that there used to be church services in a fucking building that was a u.s capital building or some it was owned by the government so therefore there shouldn't be a separation of church and state it's like you found one tiny corner case even if it's true which we you know we may or may not be true because i looked it up today and I couldn't find it anywhere. So it might not even be true that the statue, statuary hall or whatever it's called is, has a,

uh, has, has this as its history. But even if it's not true, even if it is true, like just because it happened in one place, it's like fucking, you know, I've been,

I've been in many church basements for other things that doesn't mean i'm you know religious because of it no that's how it works you don't understand cecil you get so confused like i don't i do i do i do where things happen and if something happens somewhere then that dictates whether or not you're a part of that thing. So like, if a baby is born at a grocery store, that baby is a grocer. Or a papaya. So this story comes from the independent.co.uk. Lego is a tool of Satan,

which turns children to the dark side, warns a Polish priest. The Polish priest has called Lego a tool of Satan, saying its miniature depictions of vampires, ghosts, and werewolves are turning children over to the dark side. Legos, Cecil. The little brick things that you build shit out of.

Like, I made a car. What'd you make? I also made a fucking car, because it's all I can think to make out of Legos. Like, what'd you make? A spaceship. Okay. Those are evil now. They're're fucking evil because they're little plastic vampires well they're tools of satan he says and i think that you know if we look into this i think we can find that they are tools of satan because hell is essentially this big fluffy carpet that you have

to walk across barefoot and occasionally there's a lego on it and that's what and that's what hell is because you know if you step on a lego that's like being tortured in hell that is exactly like being tortured in hell and i'm clearly there at least two nights out of the week jesus man gotta wear slippers the worst the worst is when like the kiddo for whatever reason like falls asleep in our bed or comes to bed and falls. Whatever. You've got to pick up a sleeping kid, and you've got to carry them from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth. Right. Sure.

And so you've got this fucking hulking massive body, and you're carrying its girth over from one location to another location. And you're carrying your son. Right. And my son. I mean, my God. Carrying my own weight is... Your own hul. And you're carrying your son. Right, and my son. I mean, my God, carrying my own weight is... Your own hulking girth and then your son. I mean, I already have to get out the belly wheelbarrow, you know? Right.

That's not easy work. I hear a small team of small, tiny Clydesdales to pull you around. To get up the stairs, I need a team of Sherpa. Are you kidding me? We have 14 stairs it takes me a solid week to get up there but you're like walking with this kid like and then you step on a lego and like when you're not carrying another human right you step on a lego and you like your leg like does a weird thing where it's like fuck i stepped on a lego and like you almost fall and you step on a lego and you like your leg like does a weird thing where it's like fuck i stepped on a lego and like you almost fall and you do like a funky twist like break your knee

dance right right right yeah but if you're carrying a kid you just you fucking eat it you just eat it your body's like you can't just fucking eat and the lego gets stuck to the bottom of your foot and you're trying to like shake the lego off because you know if you take another step it's just pressing the lego deeper into your soft soft so you're essentially it's like so it's it's kind of like shake the Lego off because you know if you take another step, it's just pressing the Lego deeper into your soft, soft flesh. So you're essentially – so it's on the ball of your foot. You're walking on your heel and the Lego is still stuck there, but you're just walking on your heel all the way to the room. You know, my first reaction would be just to throw the child in the air and grab my foot. That would be my first reaction.

Like, whoa. I'll make a new one. So actually actually i agree and i'm done with this story legos oh be nice oh my son doesn't stand a chance the whole world's gone gay oh my god what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. So this story comes from the Raw Story. Christian pro-decency group.

Satan put gays in the Graham Cracker commercials. What the fuck is going on here satan is to blame for graham cracker commercials featuring happy same-sex couples a recent ad titled this is wholesome from the graham cracker company honey made celebrates fathers of all types that includes uh gay dads so i guess like satan hates s'mores i don't even know. Satan is just the fucking biggest curmudgeon possible. Satan is, is, is a really good advertiser.

Cause I love this fucking commercial. I thought it was absolutely great. I thought, you know, it, it makes me want to go out and just eat boxes and boxes of honey grams. And it's not that I would probably do that anyway. I mean,

like, what do you mean? I think you're probably doing it right now. I would probably do that anyway. I mean, let's be honest. What do you mean probably? I think you're probably doing it right now. I would do it anyway. But now I would be able to justify it by saying they support gays and it's awesome that they do.

There's a part of this at the bottom where this fucking crazy person is talking and saying, Satan wants us to see sin is normal and not so bad. He delights in taking what God has made good and what was meant to glorify God and change it, counterfeit it, and make it please Satan himself instead of the creator God. The fallen one desires men to see themselves as God, having to answer to no one but themselves. And I keep thinking, I'm like, you know, what's the, what is the fucking harm when people love each other? Like nobody is looking at this and saying, I am, I am in a relationship with someone of the same sex because

I want to throw it in God's. I mean, who's saying I want to throw it in God's face. Who's that person out there? Like, yeah, you know, the only reason I'm doing this is because I grew up really religious and I'm really just I just kind of hated the religion. So now I'm just going to be gay. Clearly, these these people want to put they want to put motivations for what people are doing based on good and evil, because there's no way that they can look at these people and say what they're doing isn't evil. Evil has to be a choice. So they're clearly saying they're choosing to do this, and they're choosing to glorify Satan. They're choosing to be sinful.

And it's the only way they feel good about themselves by attacking them over and over and over again is by saying that they're purposefully being evil. How are you going to find people who are walking around like, man, I actually really enjoy having sex with women, but you know what? I'm so angry, I'm sucking a dick. That's how...

I'm so angry, I'm spitting mad. No, I take that back. I'm swallowing mad. I like this part too. He says, Satan calls it normal, God calls it sin. We live in a day where evil is called good and good is called evil. And cats are called dogs and dogs are called cats. And fingernails are called toenails and toenails are called fingernails.

You know what I mean? Like, where are we going to stop this? And small trails are considered super highways. Creeks are rivers. Rivers are oceans oceans what's going on trucks are cranes and cranes are tonka trucks you know how much of this cecil do you think is just people getting bent out of shape that an overly simplistic worldview is no longer relevant you know what i mean it's like i look at this and i think like good and evil sin and wholesome like

those terms are so silly they're so fucking meaningless they take they take no dis like no continuums of human behavior into account those are really like those are useless ways to think about the world good and evil it's fucking silly like that's what you teach like little kids who aren't particularly bright that's what you i mean good and evil come on it's you know part of me is like you know they're just upset because like the whole good and evil you know dichotomy just doesn't work anymore it's just it's not it's not a worldview that makes sense anymore and there's sort of they're sort of like but where do i i don't know where to fit if you show me a graham cracker commercial and everybody appears to be happy and i can't get upset about happy people loving each other then i where do i slot this is it good is it evil fuck i

only have two choices i'm unable to make distinctions it's it's fucking so ridiculously outmoded it's it's fucking this is model t thinking man it's it's before that i mean gosh it's it's this is this is bronze age thinking i mean you haven't changed since then you know like there's no updates on this fucking on this driver you know what i mean like there's been there hasn't been an update on this driver for years this is xp it's totally shit this is fucking this is windows 3.1 you know what i mean like this is this is the most base bear operating this is dos this is the most base bear operating this is dos this is the most base bear operating system that you could possibly imagine and they just don't they don't

have any way in which to look at the look at you know people that are clearly you know like they are depicting and it's they're all actors people it's not a fucking real family that's on there like fucking hugging each other they're all actors so when the two guys have their baby it's not like they're fucking it that it's not they went out and been like you know we're really looking for a nice gay family to put on no they didn't do that they got two guys and a baby with a sag card and they put them all together and they said okay shoot a commercial make sure the baby's not crying don't shake it you know what i mean like so it's not crying. Don't shake it. You know what I mean? Like, so it's not crying. And so we have a good smiley baby. Maybe it's a fake baby.

Who knows, you know? And then there's a girl and people with tattoos in this commercial too. Like a tattooed mom. And then they show a biracial couple in this commercial. It's like, do you think that that's like a real biracial couple? No. Do you think that the Cheerios commercial has a biracial couple that's actually together? No, this isn't real life.

It's advertising, you dumb fuck. And it's clearly doing exactly what they wanted it to do, which is all the people who agree send it to all their friends, and all the people who don't agree send it to all their friends. I know. So they clearly did all the right things with this advertising. They fucking face-fucked these people. So we're going to take a break and give you some information on how to

contact the show and become a patron of the show. We'll return in just a moment for the rest of the program. If you would like to contact the show, visit the website DissidentsPod.com for the links to the Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and email accounts. You can also call and leave a message

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or tell a like-minded friend about the show. So to everyone who supports the show, Glory Hole, you fucking rock. So see, so this story comes from the BBC News. I love this story so much. California man washed out to sea during baptism. California man remains missing a day after he was swept out to sea during an ocean baptism. Oh, Jesus.

I'm such a dick. It's just so fucking funny. It's just so ridiculous. Like, they're going through this crazy ritual, right, where they go into the ocean and fucking dunk themselves in the ocean because the ocean will wash the sin away from you or some fucking made-up hoodoo bullshit. And a wave just is like, and it eats him up and takes him away. And the first thing I think is like, well, I hope the baptism was done. Otherwise, you're fucked.

Yeah, because if not, he's going to be kicking himself the whole way. This is just as stupid as those people who face fuck cobras or whatever those people do. It's just as stupid, in my opinion. If you're going to go out, and clearly the water was i guess cold enough that it could kill somebody in 30 minutes they were saying so you know this is really not a very smart thing to do um i don't have a lot of sympathy for somebody who's gonna go out in the middle of some raging fucking riptide

and you know get thrown underwater and then essentially drowned. Um, yeah, I just think it's, I think it's like, I just think it's like tragically stupid. It's like those people who, you know, get a gerbil stuffed up their ass. You know what I mean? Like they're just like, they mess up and there's like, or they break the hot dog dog off inside of them. You know, you're just like, Oh gosh, I just, I feel mortified for you. You know, like you got your dick stuck in a vacuum. I just feel awful for you. So embarrassing. Oh man, isn't my face red?

Well, my face is red, but my lips are blue because I'm fucking dead. You know, when you look at the picture here and look at the waves, man, like would you go out in that? No. Like why would you be like, what's wrong with the baptismal

font at your local church like why do you have to go to the ocean and fucking get dunked in the ocean in march like what part of you is like that seems like a solid idea i'm looking at this picture and there's like people are wearing coats they're wearing coats standing by these big ass fucking waves like oh yeah let's do that one that's and that's how you know god really loves you is when you dunk your head in the ocean because god doesn't love people who are landlocked like i don't know the desert dwelling community that he gave jesus to Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk

Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk Along Black Hawk All alone by far. Oh, yeah.

So Cecil, this story comes from the independent.co.uk. Saudi Arabia declares all atheists are terrorists in a new law to crack down on political dissidents. So I'm sorry, dear listeners, we're going to have to cancel ReasonCon Saudi Arabia. We're not going to have any of our, we're not going to, my vacation plans in Saudi Arabia are now canceled as well. I was planning a whirlwind tour of Saudi Arabia. Said nobody ever. Well, the people who wanted to get some young brides probably said that.

Right. You know, I have to say this is probably going to be bad for their secular tourism uh oh yeah yeah it's gonna cut into the headings well david silverman's not going to go over there and try to ask for uh for them to be supportive of all his next billboard that he puts up i'd like to put a billboard up here um i love that the country that brought us uh 19 hijackers is oh shit is is now uh throwing out there that the atheists are the terrorists right that's fucking awesome like that's just i mean fucking really well played remember that atheist who blew up the nothing ever

because that happens all the time actually i think that you know there's there's a lot going on here where there's talking about the people who are leaving the country to go work in syria or whatever and he's talking about sort of political dissidents i guess in a lot of ways in this too but clearly there's a little piece of this that's that's that's talking about secular ideas and And, you know, this is, of course, that they have this law. I mean, you know, this is not a big deal because I think being an apostate

already gets you killed. So what's the difference between a terrorist and an apostate? Well, you know, the thing is that what they're nailing you for is thought crime, you know, because it says here that Article One of the new provisions defines terrorism as calling for atheist thought in any form or calling into question the fundamentals of the Islamic religion on which the country is based. So if at any time you have a conversation where you're like,

so if at any time you have a conversation where you're like i don't know if that's the right call because every call made by the saudi arabian government right no it's your right isn't backed by an actual law sure sure but is backed by you know sharia so they don't have laws they don't have a written system of laws they just have a holy book so blaspheming yeah any dissidents at all any any criticism of the official line is atheism you know i to be honest though i i kind of prefer thought crimes to the other crimes that they prosecute for because you know when they prosecute people for like witchcraft and shit you know at least fucking thinking is real at least thinking is a thing you know at least that's a thing that can actually happen, instead of, they had a broom and I thought they were a witch. I mean, in both cases, I think, in both cases, it's easy to sort of point at somebody and be like, there's a person that is either, you know,

you could be like, there's a witch Burnham, there's an atheist Burnham, you know, and they would do that. But in one case, at least, you know, it's a real fucking thing. They say that I make the contention that gays caused the Holocaust. This is wrong. I've been very clear in my writings and everything I've said that the Nazi Party is responsible for the Holocaust. But how did the Nazi Party come into being? The Nazi Party, ladies and gentlemen, was formed in a gay bar in Munich. was formed in a gay bar in Munich. And historians agree that Hitler's earliest enforcers,

the stormtroopers, the brown shirts, were almost without exception homosexuals. So it was homosexual thugs that helped Hitler to form the Nazi Party. In other words, no homosexual thugs, no homosexual brown shirts, no homosexual stormtroopers, no Nazi party. This story comes from the raw story. Massachusetts candidate for governor says Obama loves sexual anarchy and might be gay because sexual anarchy. What the fuck is sexual anarchy, Cecil? I mean, really, what the fuck is sexual anarchy? What is a sexual anarchist? Does that mean you have sex with a bandana over your nose?

You have a giant A on your chest. You just got one of those V for Vendetta masks while you're getting it on? No, no, that's anonymous, not anarchy. Yeah, whatever. I don't care. Let's listen to what he has to say because now this is taken from Sky News 4 I think or something like that but essentially this

guy this what's his name Scott Lively he has a bunch of stuff that he says in this thing and I have a bunch of clips that I want to play I'm going to start with the first one he's talking about AIDS here and he gets a nice chuckle out of the crowd you are never going to start with the first one. He's talking about AIDS here, and he gets a nice chuckle out of the crowd. You are never going to stop AIDS until you stop treating homosexual sodomy as a civil right

and start treating it as a form of conduct to avoid. Hilarious. He knew he did that. He was trying to run for governor. So when he's trying to run for governor so when he's trying to run for governor he was in a debate and he said that shit and people are just like you're fucking kidding me right you just said that shit out loud i thought he was doing penis puppetry like i couldn't figure out what could possibly be going on that would cause the audience to laugh like it, it's such an absurd thing to say.

Here's, here's him talking about homosexuals and pedophiles, which is great. It's fucking, we've never heard this before. Why would we be propping up homosexual relationships instead of encouraging people into healthy, normal families?

It's, it's a, it's completely backwards. How dare you say that homosexuality and pedophilia are equated? Well, they are equated. They are equated. They're equated. You can just equate them.

You can just equate them. See, what you have to do is just say two things are equated. How dare you, Cecil, say that giraffes and deep dish pizza are equated? How dare you, sir? They're not equated? Not equated. I've been eating my deep dish pizza wrong. This is something that's sort of we've talked about before.

This is him talking in Uganda. He gave a talk at Best Western in Uganda. Here it is. The gay movement is an evil institution. The goal of the gay movement is to defeat the marriage-based society and replace it with a culture of sexual promiscuity. This is something that I have invented. This is a scale called the scale of gender supremacy.

He went on to list several categories of gay men. And I call these, the first category, super machos. These were the Nazis, the ones that helped Hitler come to power at the beginning. The jackbooted thugs. You have what I call monsters. They're serial killers, mass murderers. They're people, they're sociopaths. This is the kind of person that it takes to run a gas chamber, right?

Or to do a mass murk the rwandan stuff probably involve these guys tell you what they can run a gas chamber but that's the that's the best interior design gas chamber you've ever been in there's like a little vase of flowers in the corner they have throw pillows that perfectly match the chair i mean it's a really nice gas chamber you, it takes a lot to run a gas chamber. You know, you've really got to put a lot of effort into managing that. You know, the right because, you know, the upside, the revenue upside on that is a little slim. You know, I'm just yeah, I'm just saying I'm not sure what your sales staff has to do in order to sell gas chambers.

But right. It's like a B&B, but no repeat business. It's just a B. It's just a B. Oh, man. All right. So here's the interview with him. This is the guy. There's a guy who's trying to interview him,

and he's trying to get him to talk about the things that he did while he was in Uganda, because clearly he incited these people, and he was actually one of the major causes for the legislation that was written. The legislation that came out, which evolved from the time that you were going there, has brought in very harsh punishments against homosexuals in Uganda are you

happy about that I have mixed feelings about the Ugandan law right I support the provisions of the law that increase penalties for homosexual pedophilia what the fuck is that I support that the the clauses in the law that enhance penalties for intentionally spreading AIDS through sodomy. I do not support and never did support the harsh penalties in terms of long prison sentences. I don't believe in that. I never have. I didn't suggest that to them when they brought it up. But that's a direct consequence of the hysteria that you helped to create.

So you say. That's what is why... Based on propaganda from my adversaries. The and standing up to the gay bullies. But the facts of history are manifest. The gay bullies, the super machos or super nachos. I don't know whatever he said earlier. I'd be interested in the super nachos. Tell me more. Super nachos?

I would like to know about these super nachos. And by know about them, I mean eat many, many of them. Let's talk about homosexual pedophilia because I really don't know what that means. I'm trying to figure out what that means, but I don't know what that means. What is homosexual pedophilia? I was thinking the same thing. It's like he's like, yeah, we got to increase the penalties for homosexual pedophilia. Like, why is heterosexual pedophilia somehow better or acceptable?

Like, if I if I have sex with a young girl, is that a better thing? Like, is the world a better place? Like, it's well, you know, it's like that asshole who's like, yeah, well, you're raping little girls. Yeah. I say Ugandan minister at least said it's the right kind of rape. Right. I mean, that's the exact same thing, man. Yeah.

It's like young people are fucking young people. It makes no difference whether or not, you know, somebody that's underage is getting fucking diddled by the same sex or the opposite sex or somebody bisexual or fucking whatever. Who cares? They're kids. I think that the I think the phrasing on that really does show that he had some influence at least in some of these people. For sure he did. Because he's clearly saying – or at least maybe he's not the guy who influenced them. But clearly they all seem to read the same goddamn book that says that homosexual pedophilia is a thing. And that people that are gay and – but gay and pedophile doesn't make any sense

it's like that's a two different things dude i know man and you know that that that's such a that's such a fucking distraction it's like having a fucking beef vegan burger like that's not a thing yeah and i like too that like it's like well what about if they intentionally spread aids through sodomy and it's like well wait well, what about if they intentionally spread AIDS through sodomy? And it's like, well, wait a minute. What if they just intentionally spread AIDS? Like, what if anybody intention? That's the thing. It's like he's like adding all these caveats. Right. To make it sound because the first thing that he says is abhorrent. Right. Pedophilia, abhorrent, intentionally spreading AIDS, abhorrent.

And then he adds the second part onto it and the second part is like either spurious reasoning or like some it's just some fucking add-on so it's like it's it's like saying like the fucking nazis and everybody's ears pick up and he's like gay and you're like what and then you move on to the next thing you never make your point and you never draw clear connections and you never like say the one thing is equal to the other thing because of here are my supporting statements he never does any of that stuff it's just using all the same terms in the same sentence until everybody's like well i fucking remember hearing something about the gay nazis that's what i remember and it becomes ingrained into people's minds let's finish this up and talk he wants to talk about obama for a

second and i love this you know the president Obama for a second. And I love this. You know, the president of your country is wholeheartedly against this legislation. Obama? He's condemned it. But you're a citizen of this country and you're going there to influence us. I think Mr. Obama may well be a homosexual himself.

He's certainly a radical homosexualist. What? Meaning a person, whether homosexual or not, who is 100% invested in the homosexual. Meaning you just made a point. So you think President Obama is a homosexual? I think he may be. He is lending the weight of his office to a movement that's goal is to overturn the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic and replace it with the gay ethic of sexual anarchy.

What? What does any of that mean? That was great. I love how that ended. What did any of that mean? The gay anarchy. Oh, sexual anarchy, gay anarchy. I don't even know what he said. It was awesome.

Hold on. Let's hear what he says. It's there at the end here. Let me hear what he says again. To a movement that's goal is to overturn the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic and replace it with the gay ethic of sexual anarchy. Gay ethic of sexual anarchy. None of those words make sense in that order. I know the definition of all of those words and I can't begin.

Like gay anarchy, what are you like running around like breaking windows with your gay penis? Spray painting childish slogans on things. You, like, have a great gay pride flag and you're just, like, knocking things over with it. You're, like, snapping shit like a towel. Like, you know, like, you roll up a towel when you're a kid. And that's what gay anarchy is, I guess. I don't know. I don't understand. It's gay sexual anarchy.

What does that mean? We're not sure. Fuck. Gays. Gays. understand it's gay sexual anarchy what does that mean we're not sure i like i like that obama is a homosexualist it's almost like he's up he's been practicing for so long he's now a homosexualist like he was just a homosexual but now he's a homosexualist yeah i was like you hit the pro circuit eventually. I don't know. He's getting sponsorships. He's getting gay sponsorships. I don't know.

I just don't. Yeah, he's got his own float. Graham crackers. That's what he's got. He's got his own line of graham crackers. Honey grahams. Tom, do you want to play a game? Sure.

Is it gay anarchy game? No, it's not a gay anarchy game. And you can keep your pants on. What, you think I'm wearing pants for this show? Give me a proper noun. All right. Jesus. Give me a type of dwelling.

Synagogue. Give me a country full of people. Like a country, a people of a certain country. Like you would say Germans or something. Okay. Kiwis. Kiwis? Yeah, you know those little people that live in New Zealand. Kiwis? Yeah.

You know, those little people that live in New Zealand. You're good at this. Give me a thing. All right. Potato chips. An animal group name like a herd. Pride. Pride.

And another one. Murder. Give me an adjective. Flushed. An animal group name. Pack. Body part. Sphincter.

Another one. Give me another body part. Pancreas. I like the pancreas. I'm a huge fan of the pancreas. How about a verb? Swimming. Or swam?

What tense do you need? Swim. We'll see if it works. Give me another verb. Sleeping. Sleep. Liquid. Bourbon. Another verb.

Strap. Another verb. Crunk. Crunk? That's not even a thing! It could be a verb. Give me three nouns in a row Three nouns in a row Alright Painting

Chair Dwarf Give me a body part This is the longest mad lips I've ever done in my life There's two more You got four more things Toenail Three body parts and a liquid

Three body parts and a liquid Alright Toenail N Three body parts and a liquid. Three body parts and a liquid. All right. Toenail. Nose hair. Nose hair. I like that one. Yeah, thanks. Thanks.

And ass cheek. And then- Ass cheek. A liquid, you said? Yeah, a liquid. All right. I'm going to go with cider. All right.

So here goes. This is Mad Libvidicus chapter one. This is going to be great. The Lord called to Jesus and spoke to him from the synagogue of meeting. He said, speak to the Kiwis and say to them, would anyone among you bring potato chips to the Kiwis and say to them, with anyone among you who brings potato chips to the Lord, bring it as your offering of an animal of either a pride of tigers or a murder of crows. If the offering is a flushed offering from the pack,

you are to offer a male without defect. You must present it at the entrance of the tent of meeting so that it must be acceptable to the Lord. You are to lay your sphincter on the pancreas of the burnt offering and it will be swimming on your behalf to make atonement for you. You are to sleep the young bull. That doesn't make any sense. To sleep the young bull before the Lord and

Aaron's son's priest shall bring you bourbon and splash it against the sides of Aram and the entrance of the tent of meeting. You are to strap the burnt offering and crunk it into pieces. How do you crunk it into pieces? The sons of

Aaron and the priest are to put the painting on the altar and arrange the chair on the dwarf then Aaron's sons uh then Aaron's sons the priest shall arrange the pieces including the toenail and the nose hair and and on the wood that is the burning altar and you will wash the ash cheek and the legs with cider and the priest will burn it all on the wood that is the burning altar and you will wash the ash cheek and the legs with cider and the priest will burn it all on the altar and the burnt offering and the food and aroma will be pleasing to the Lord. Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit

photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the theory of Atlantis. If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. I love this story. This story is from the Raw Stories. Well, the Raw Story I was trolling pretty bad. I want to put a saddle on this thing and ride it around. I love this thing. A Texas couple claims to have caught chupacabra.

And I fucking kid you not right now. This is from the story. He called me to come and look. And I said, Bubba, that looks like a baby chupacabra. Oh, my fucking God. Bubba Dunn found himself a chupacabra. Oh, man. Or a raccoon with no fur.

Like a fucking mangy fucking raccoon. That's what it looks like to me. You know what? Here's the thing. Maybe it's a chupacabra. Get its DNA. You clearly have it captured. It's not like it's fucking a blurry picture of a chupacabra.

You've got it in a cage. You're feeding it corn. Just stick a goddamn needle in it. Take it to the fucking vet or whatever and run its DNA. Pay for that DNA testing. If it's a real chupacabra, you've suddenly got a lot of money because you've got the only goddamn chupacabra ever in fucking history. I hear they actually make great pets. You know, I hear they make great gravy actually i know that's i would fuck if there was one chupacabra on earth one i would fucking eat it i would eat

it right now michael vick would find another one so he could fight it. Chupacabra fights? Chupacabra fights. I love that this is treated as if it's like an unsolved mystery. Like maybe it is a chupacabra. It's like, well, we could just found out. We don't even need to speculate. This is an answerable question. You have the thing.

So answer the question. And they all just stand around it, like, with their fucking hillbilly pants and, like, fucking holding their can of Schlitz. Like, yeah, sure. It looks like something in a cage, don't it, Bubba? Oh, yeah. It's got any more corn. And then you slop this thing. Slop this thing.

You know, it's got a little paws, like little hand paws. The guy said in this video, he's like, oh, it's probably a dog or a canine or something like that. And I'm like, no, it's got little hand paws. I don't think dogs have the, or canines have hand paws. It doesn't have like, dogs don't have little gripping hands, but you know what does? Fucking raccoons. Because this is just a raccoon, man. It's just a raccoon. If you look at it, you're like, that's just a fucking raccoon.

I don't know. You know what I'm thinking now that I look at it? Maybe it's like a German shepherd that did meth. You know what I mean? It's like the faces of meth. You have like a german shepherd and he was on the police force and then he probably got injured on the job started doing math and then he's only a week away from retirement he was right there he was right at the edge i love that when you watch the video they intersperse pictures like like crazy like kids drawings of like a chupacabra like

like with red eyes and fucking horns and shit and then they go back to the fucking raccoon I'm just saying somebody's going to eat that before the weekend oh fuck's sake are you kidding me those fucking hillbillies it's amazing it hasn't been eaten already or fucked

eaten or fucked I already take a cup and now we're spinning it into a cup and now we're handing it to this pretty young lady right here, what's your name? Tierra. Tierra. Tierra's going to take it. She's going to spit it into it. She's going to pass it around the room and everybody's going to take a chance spitting it.

We're going to hand it to this young lady back here. What's your name? Lizzie. Lizzie? Lizzie's going to drink out of that cup. What would you all think about that? Pretty disgusting, right? You wouldn't do it. Because you're exchanging bodily fluids and that's what you do in sexual activity.

You exchange bodily fluids so you see how rampant it can go in terms of your sexual activity. So Cecil, this story comes from Slate.com. Mississippi sex ed class compares women to dirty pieces of chocolate. I guess part of the abstinence-only education involved taking a peppermint patty and handing it around to all the kids, and then the kids notice that after all their fucking grubby little paws are pawing at the peppermint patty that it's kind of they're all kids from oliver twits they're all dirty

they're all passing it they're longingly passing it to the next person like i don't want to pass it. I want to eat it, sir. You know, like, the first thing I thought was, like, if I was the first kid in line, I would just eat it. Like, we need more peppermint patties. I hope you brought a bag of those things. I go through them like crazy. You know what? Like, you're going to have to start the circle somewhere other than with me.

Because I'll just keep eating all your peppermint patty. It turns out, you know, you might as well just send me into the hall because I don't care how many people have touched it. I'm still eating it. It's like, look, one thing is going to run out here. Either your peppermint patty supply or my ability to eat peppermint patty. And I'm betting on one rather than the other see what i'm saying here is i'm fat and i love panties i just love the title it's like mississippi sex ed class compares women

to dirty pieces of chocolate and the first thing that popped in my head is like forrest gump women are like a box of dirty chocolates you never know what piece of gonorrhea you're gonna get this is another way though I mean they they clearly go out of their way to talk about how essentially handing things around is you know you're when you have multiple sex partners that's what you are you're like a dirty nasty fucking piece of chewed gum or whatever they're you know utilizing as their analogy but one they're almost always targeting the girls they almost they never target the guys they're never like you know if you get your dick sucked more than once it falls off or whatever

you know i don't know how to say that they They're just like, you know, that's not true. My wife's been telling me that's the case for years. Oh man, we're going to have to have a talk. No, but you know, clearly, clearly they're, they're targeting the girls and saying when, when you go out here, it's not like, you know, when you have sex, somehow the, the, the semen just stays in there and then like fucking, you know, forever. the semen just stays in there and then like fucking you know forever and then

you just walk by and she's like some nasty cum box you know you know it just they only try to go out of the way to shame girls and when they do that it really does show how sexist abstinence only is

the thing that bothers me the most about it is that it's it's women that are teaching it and it's and it's women that are they're the ones who are being insulted by this and being i mean i just think it's bad all around for women and it's bad because most of them are women educators that are showing women this this thing i did it just bothers me and doesn't it just tell you like how much of this like sex shaming personal internalized hatred It just bothers me. Because the only way that you're going to get there is if you're like, yeah, I think I'm fucking filthy. It has to be – in order for you to perpetuate it forward, you have to have internalized it yourself. It's such a damaging fucking thought process for these girls to be taught.

And what does this tell you about – because they don't ever discuss whether or not somebody grabs the peppermint patty out of your hand forcefully, right? So, like, what does this mean for, like, girls that are, like, raped or what have you? Like, it tells them that they're less than. It tells them that their value is based on their, you know, primacy as a sexual object. Yeah. And I think one of the things that the article does well is it talks about how, you know, this is such a nonsensical way to think about it. I mean, even if you like apply a fucking tiny fucking shred of logic to it, you wind up considering that these, you know, what happens when you get married? Because what they're saying is abstinence only until you get married. Abstinence only until you get married. Well, you know,

whether I'm handing the fucking peppermint patty around the room or I'm the one who's fucking handling it, it's going to fucking melt and be gross. You know what I mean? Like whether it's one person or 20 people, it's still going to be fucking a little icky at the end of the day. So essentially what they're saying is like women are only have like two uses. They're like fucking like the fucking wet wipes. You know what I mean? I don't know, Cecil, but I will tell you this. I would fuck a peppermint patty.

Right now. I would fuck someone for a box of peppermint patties. It's like the Klondike commercials. Like, what would you do? Bondi commercials, like, what would you do? And the thing is, is when they take a bite and they feel the cold mountain air and they're on a huge slope, they're just on top of it. Like skiing off my girth. There's a huge temperature change between my belly button and the top of my belly button. I've lost more sex partners in the wilderness of my belly button. I've lost more sex partners

in the wilderness of my belly hair. You can hear them scream for about three days and then they quiet down. So we want to thank some of our brand new patrons. And I may have mentioned your name before. If I did, you get your name mentioned twice.

Awesome. Zachary, Sakura, David. Tom says it's Stan. I'm saying, I don't know. Maybe it's Stan. Maybe it's Stan. I say it's Stan. Stan?

Stan. It's Stan. Stan. Boston. Boston. Because clearly anything else I say is not going to sound right. Godless Matt, Soren, Miranda, Dave, Henry, Chase, Andrew L., Shane, Andrew B., and Atheist. Is that what you said, Tom?

Atheos, I think, maybe. Atheos? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Atheos, I think, maybe. Atheos? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Atheos, sure. You. That guy. You know who you are.

That guy. Thank you very much. Actually, thank you all very much for donating. We appreciate the hell out of everybody who's donated to the podcast. We did add a couple of new incentives. So if you give five bucks a month for, I want to say two months, we'll do your ringtone for you. So if you give five bucks a month for, I want to say two months,

we'll do your ringtone for you. So if you want to get a ringtone or a voicemail message done by us, we'll be happy to do that for you if you stick with the $5 or more plan for a couple months. And then at $10 or more, we send you a shirt after two months. So we added a couple of incentives. Tom and I are not artists or anything like that, so we don't really have anything else to give you other than our wholehearted thanks and we really do appreciate everybody who's donated yeah your donations are going to help me uh buy more buffalo wings and that's really the most and more more peppermint now that we talked about it i'm gonna go get a box of those and charging it to the show. But next month, the actually the next month's entire amount of money that we're going to get

from Patreon is going to go directly to a charity. And we've already posted on the Patreon page. You have to be a patron in order to see it, but we've already posted a survey and that survey has a list of several charities that we are now asking the listeners to decide which charity is going to get this money. So if you're interested in becoming a patron this month, all the money that you donate to us this month is going to go directly to a charity. And if you become a patron this month, you'll get an opportunity to vote in that survey

to see who's going to actually get the money that we donate. So we want to thank everybody for donating, and we hope that you guys join in, and we make this a goodly sum of money that we can donate to one of these charities. You know, Cecil and I just want to make sure that you guys are kind enough to donate to us, and you guys are kind enough to provide us the funds that we need to continue this show and to continue this endeavor. And we want to make sure that we pay that forward. That's an important part.

You know, since we've really started doing this show, I think that's been an important part of the show and kind of what we're trying to do. So as kind of our way of saying thank you, we're paying this forward. Like we're extending your generosity forward. And we can't thank you enough for the opportunity to be able to do that. Tom, this is a really funny story that was sent in to us by Bruce. I think that the best part is just the headline.

You cannot actually do better than the headline. Minnesota man shoots son over caber...cable? Caberbill. Shoot the caberbill. Son, get out of the caberbill. Minnesotaer bill caber caber caber bill son get out of caber bill minnesota man and it's from minnesota it's not even southern minnesota man shoots son over cable bill then stabs self to fight son in the afterlife it's a tough motherfucker cecil it's like the matrix

like what is happening i don't even understand this. That is a tough dude, though. You're not getting away that easy, dead kid. No, gosh, no. Gosh. Beat the shit out of him. He murdered him and then stabbed himself in the chest. You know, you're hardcore.

You are just hardcore. Bad, Bad motherfucker. We got an email from Wendy and Wendy talks about the bad thing about the girl from the Big Bang Theory, Blossom, being an anti-vaxxer is that she also has a PhD and that she should know better.

she also says that New Brunswick, she's from New Brunswick, and she from New Brunswick, and she says, New Brunswick is the province, what's a province? Province on the East Coast, just above Nova Scotia. I only understood East Coast and all that.

I don't know what any of those other words mean. I think Nova Scotia is a kind of food. I'm pretty sure you can eat those. It is. I think it's like a spreadable something. It's delicious. Yeah, it's like a jam. I think of some sort. It's like some sort of jam. I'll just have a sco something. It's delicious. Yeah, it's like a jam. I think of some sort.

Like some sort of jam. I'll just have a skosh of Nova Scotia. Yeah. Just a skosh. We got a message from Jim, and I'm going to read a little bit. Jim says, I enjoy the show, but whenever you talk government, it irritates me to no end, being a libertarian and all. For example, on your last episode, you used drug cartels as how society would function without government. That's a false analogy because government created the black market for the drugs by telling people,

hey, Jack, you can't put that crap in your body, therefore I'll make it illegal. The illegality of drugs is the reason for the black market. Yeah, but I don't think that that's a false analogy. Jim, I think that it actually perfectly illustrates Tom's point. Whether or not the government comes in and says, is the reason for the illegality? Tom was just illustrating that that's just a way a lawless society would actually resolve issues. Yeah. The idea is that if you don't have a judicial system to arbitrate disputes, you arbitrate disputes with violence. That's

what the hell else you're supposed to do. Right. It's like, you know, like we have a system. I had a house I was going to sell a while back and there was a problem with the survey, right? There was a problem with the survey between the two plots. My neighbor wouldn't listen to me. I wanted him to sign off this thing so I could sell my house. He wouldn't do it. I had to go out and spend a lot of money to get a survey done. And then I had to get other entities involved. And there was this big, long process just to sell my house.

If there was no laws there that were governing that, I could have just sold without that, right? Or I could have just went over to my neighbor's house and shot him in the face. You know what I mean? There was a couple other options. None of them are good. It turns out that the governmental option was the best option. Even if I wasn't able to sell my house,

it still would have been a better option than lying to the people who I was gonna sell the house to or shooting my neighbor in the face, which I guess are two extremes of the same situation. But I think you get the idea. Besides, Tom and I are both, I think, pretty pro-drugs. I'm actually pro-legalize all the drugs.

I think that that shit should be totally legal. I think that the war on drugs is an absolute failure. And I look to countries like Portugal and other places where they're allowing people hard drugs and the drug rates are going down like geometrically at this point. Yeah, I'm definitely the same way. I'm pro-legalization across the board. I think the only way to eliminate the black market for these drugs is to eliminate the illegality. I totally agree with you on that point.

I think most of the shit that people get all up, like the vice crimes in general, need to be legalized. I think they also then need to be taxed and regulated. Yeah, and Jim, thanks for sticking with a show that irritates you to no end. We got an interesting message from Rachel. Rachel sent us a message that had a Slate article that was talking about when the evangelicals sort of came around to that notion that conception is when life begins. And it really sort of started within our lifetimes, Tom. I know that we're probably a little older than some of

the audience, but in the 80s was when it started. Yeah, I thought the article was very interesting, and thank you very much for sending it. It discusses the idea that it was really the Jerry Falwell moral majority fucking debacle that has continued to reverberate and smash through this country ever since its inception in the 80s. That this is primarily a political rather than theological position. And it was a very interesting article. Thanks so much for sending it. We got an email from Matt. Great little email here. I think he really loves the show, Tom.

Yeah, it says, great show. Just a quick kudos to both of you for your incredible content. Noah, you and Heath put out great content. And don't do the canned laughter that other podcasts do, like those eggnog-hating glory hole lovers over a cognitive distance. You're hitting bullseyes on every show. You're able to stick it right in that glory hole and put out like nobody's business. One more note, glory hole Cecil and Tom.

You guys rock. Seriously, keep up the awesome work. Yeah, thanks. We're pretty great. We got a very funny email from Catherine. She explains a long situation situation which we're not going to get into but the one thing i do want to mention and i actually tried to go out of my way this time to uh to change how i was talking she says that uh recently your use of the term

homosexual to refer to a gay person made me feel ill i do not identify as gay but the social justice focus counseling program she's she's uh she's in a social justice focused counseling program. That's a hard thing to even say, by the way. And this kind of thing she's taught to look for and correct. Essentially, she sent us a media reference guide that lists homosexual as a term to avoid. We should be using gay instead or gay, lesbian, gay people instead of using the word homosexual. We will try. I will do my best to try to do this. I actually thought homosexual was the PC term. So I didn't, I clearly meant nothing by it. And I didn't realize that that was something that is not a desirable term to use anymore.

I had no idea. I was flabbergasted until I clicked on the link that you provided. I actually thought I was like, oh, maybe this is a joke. Maybe this link will take me to a – It was right around April 1st. Right. I really was like, really? But yeah, I guess there's – a know, a homosexual is, you know, I guess it's like overly clinical and it, you know, refers back to the time when, you know, gayness.

I don't know when that was. I don't even know why I have this conversation. I don't know what words to use. They're all offensive. They're all offensive. they're all offensive we got another email from guy who sucks cocks behind the glory hole and he posted a link to us

about the Jehovah's Witness books and I'm actually going to post a link on this episode, episode 145 to the image that he was saying of David sort of longingly looking like he's going to lick the top of a sheep's head.

I don't even know. It's so crazy looking. See, so we should have a caption contest for this. That's a great idea. I look at this and I think he's just like, shh, let it happen. Let it happen. I like that. So if you go and go check out this Jehovah's Witness thing,

we'll actually, for this episode on Facebook, and if you want to reply to this episode on Twitter or you want to put it on our comments on our blog page or if you want to shout in the canyon echo that is Google Plus on this. So I'll save the image and I'll use the image as the image for this episode 145. But I'll also post the link so you can go read this story

or listen to how they read it because it's awesome. Thank you, guy who sucks cocks behind the glory hole. Last but not least, we got a message from Jenny and Jenny sent us this message about these fairies

that were photographic proof of fairies or whatever and they're like little tiny little things that look photoshopped yeah that's exactly what they look right like there's some fucking fuzzy blur photos that are blurry and fuzzy and fuzzy and blurry and if you read the article this guy's like yeah pretty much it should just be people should look at this and want more magic in their life that's what they should want more magic in their life and if people feel like looking at blurry fuzz pictures that are fuzzed out in photoshop give them more magic in their life then

i'm happy because they need more magic in their lives i need no magic in my fucking life i know i like magic though i think it's a fun game the uh the thing about that i that i think about this and i just i mean let's go back to the chupacabra story go to the fucking bug zapper scrape out the dead fairies bring him to the lab and we'll put him on our microscope right i mean like like you know these things do not look when i look at this image these things do not look like they would be that hard to fucking catch with a net. So catch a few with a net. It's not like they're that fast where they would get the fuck out of the way. There's no physical way that they could get out of the way.

Just catch them with a butterfly net, put them under a microscope, put them in the freezer for a little while, and then they'll die, and then you put some salt on them, and they'll come back to life. They sound crunchy, actually, that way. Sounds delicious. Maybe they'd be good on a salad topping. You don't know. I mean, maybe.

Maybe. But clearly, you know, it's just like the Chupacabra thing. Show me a fucking dead fairy in a bug light, a bug zapper, and I'm fucking, I'm down. Cool. Fairies exist. That's great. It doesn't, you know, it still doesn't change anything.

I still don't believe anything i'm still i still don't believe in magic i just believe that they somehow fucking naturally selected themselves into this world i don't think that they got here any other fucking special way but let's you know let's play clearly we have the ability to fucking do it but instead you just got a photoshop and a weird blurry camera vision awesome so we're gonna wrap up the show here i did want to apologize to all the patrons out there uh what happened last time somehow we double charged for our last episode and uh someone i didn't even realize that it happened and someone had sent me a message and said hey there's two episodes here and i said yeah one of them is just messed up and i didn't think it was gonna charge because there wasn't any data with it.

It was just a nothing. It was just a like, and for some reason, my Wi-Fi borked and it totally freaked out. In any case, it wound up double charging people. So I went back in and refunded everyone's money. I had to go through and like, and they don't have like a bulk refund. So you have to like refund individual people.

So you have to essentially sit and you have to click okay. That's the thing that's very crazy about essentially sit and you have to click okay that's the thing that's very crazy about that is like i had to click okay three times every time on every single person like are you sure you want to do this no i mean like are you really sure no are you really really extra double special sure so you have to like click it three goddamn times which is so fucking frustrating but in any case fair cecil i mean hold on a minute. I did help. And by help, I mean I sent you a message that says, man, that looks like that sucks. Bro, I'm sorry. Whoa, dude.

But in any case, we refunded all your money for one of episode 144. So there was two charges for episode 144. We refunded your money for 144. 144, we refunded your money for 144. Now, another thing that's really crazy is that it didn't charge anyone for episode 142. So you may get a charge for 142 in the future. I don't know. Just double check to make sure that it goes through. If it doesn't, it doesn't. If it does, it does.

What are we going to do? We want to thank Dr. David for coming on and talking about virology and talking about vaccines and alt-med. It was great for him to join us and we want to thank him. You can find links to all of the things that he does on this episode. This is episode 145 and it's at dissonancepod.com. So that wraps it up for this week and we will be back next week. But until then, we will leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you