Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 150: Did I say this was 150?

Episode Date: May 12, 2014

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Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Hey guys, it's Howard. Uh, true fucking story. I went to a church a few days ago, and no bullshit. You guys know the new song, Happy, by Pharrell.

It's got everyone just, you know, dancing, happy, and all this else, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, a pastor was mad at that song because he says it's taking people's direction from God. Seriously, a pop song that has nothing negative, it's just about being in a good mood, and you're mad because it doesn't throw Jesus in there somewhere? It already sounds like a freaking gospel song. What the actual fuck? Glory to the whole motherfuckers. Hey, what's up, guys?

I'd like to see Steve Anderson tell my wife that she's a lazy whore. We both do laundry, and we both cook and clean. The thing is, we're both in the military. Our day starts at 4.30 a.m. and we usually don't fall asleep until 10 o'clock at night. We deploy, work long hours, volunteer around the community, and take college classes while having to maintain our fitness four to five times a week. So go ahead. Tell my wife, who performs better than most men in her career field, physically and academically, that she's doing it wrong. And I will, with much satisfaction, watch her choke him the fuck out and make him eat his own dick.

Glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitiveognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at sea. So I particularly like being able to read that now. I like being able to say that we're from Chicago, that I'm from Chicago, because I'm in no way actually from Chicago.

But I feel like it lends me some credibility. It's like street cred. You get a little street cred just because you're related. I am in Chicago, but you are not in Chicago. You're fucking OG. I mean, I'm like fucking like if a nuclear bomb hit Chicago, I am super fucking dead. Yeah, it's going to hit you. See, and I have the advantage of being annihilated by the nuclear waste afterwards.

And the. Oh, that's the worst way to go. I will just die of radiation poisoning over the course of weeks or months. I would say that that would be good. Yeah. Yeah. Living afterwards is not a fun. Right.

That's not a thing. I prepared. You know what I did? I prepared my doomsday bunker on my roof with no, like on the top of my house with no roof. And it's got basically a big magnifying glass up there. Like a giant magnifying glass to roach you from the sun. Like a microwave. Just put a huge microwave up there and sit in it. My safe room is just a revolver.

It's like a lazy Susan. You're just on this lazy Susan spinning around. You know, I want to mention before we get into the podcast time that we've gotten a ton of reviews on iTunes and we're so happy. Thank you everybody who's done it. But I want to mention a couple of them. Um, and they're not bad ones. So everybody was like, you guys always mention your bad reviews. These aren't bad. These are good. I just want to, I want to, uh, mention a couple of them. This one is from somebody named Scott. And Scott says, these guys are the best excrement packing team of funny, dark morons I've listened to on the interwebs.

Might be offensive to some, but others will dig their lack of shits to give. Listen to it. Now, the thing is, he gave us a great review. It's a five-star review. But when I look in his history, I look down, and he gave Reasonable Doubts five stars. And this is what he says.

These guys take the best shots from the glory hole. This show is smart, funny, badly produced, with lots of unnecessary noises, and full of references to gay anonymous sex. Its hosts are opinionated and only sometimes sound too drunk to talk. When they can remember what show number they are on and how to use the internets,

they can get pretty deep guests together to talk about stuff really poorly. This is great. He says, but all through it, they do a professional job cup the ball stroke the shaft and they know how to make the head feel loved now i know for sure that he messed up because we have very similar logos and he gave them i love that so much can you imagine their consternation uh over reasonable doubts like wait we put on a professional show here these what glory hole what does that even mean but then i looked again because i was like you know we do kind of have a pretty similar

you know logo to them it's basically the face their faces flip the other way it's a little more crash test dummy looking than our face but it's still a face but you know the other thing too is not only are they you know maybe taking away a five star review from us, Tom, but I have to apologize to Reasonable Doubts on the air because I think they took a one star for us, too. Here we go. Here we go. I'm going to read it. This is by Shaft1358. Sarcasm, not substance.

One star for Reasonable Doubts. reasonable doubts. I subscribe to a number of atheist podcasts and find this one to be snarky and sarcastic without offering much in the way of substantive argument or fact to support their positions. Sophomoric, scoffing, and fallacious arguments abound, and one can almost hear the host's eyes rolling, but I barely, if ever, hear a thoughtful or mature discussion. Grow up, guys. That is certainly meant for us. That's not reasonable. And not for them.

So I would like to offer a public apology to Reasonable Doubts for them taking one for our team. I got to say, I'm sorry, Reasonable Doubts. We apologize. But clearly that one is not meant for you guys. That's not yours. That is certainly ours. Yeah. I'll own that shit. That's so. You know is certainly ours. Yeah. I'll own that shit.

That's so. You know, I like this one. We got one from Al Reed. It says, I'm convinced these guys secretly want two-star ratings based on the attention they give bad reviews on the podcast. So please consider this two and a half two-star ratings. Two out of two would two again. We want to thank everybody for rating us, though.

That's really great. And thanks for rating us on Stitcher, too. We appreciate all the attention, and it makes us feel loved. So thank you very much. If I were to take a cup and I were to spit it into a cup and I were to hand it to this pretty young lady right here, what's your name? Tierra. Tierra. Tierra's going to take it.

She's going to spit it into it. She's going to pass it around the room, and everybody's going to take a chance spitting it. We're going to hand it to this young lady back here. What's your name? Lizzie. Lizzie? Lizzie's going to drink out of that cup, and everybody's going to take a chance spitting it. We're headed to this young lady back here. What's your name? Lizzie. Lizzie? Lizzie's going to drink out of that cup. What would you all think about that?

Pretty disgusting, right? You wouldn't do it. Because you're exchanging bodily fluids, and that's what you do in sexual activity. You exchange bodily fluids so you see how rampant it can go in terms of your sexual activity. So, Cecil, the first story comes, unsurprisingly, from right-wing watchers. Wait, did I say it was episode 150? Hey, you know what? It's episode 150.

I don't even know if I fucking said it or not. You didn't. I didn't. You didn't say it. Turns out it's episode 150. What? 150 is. And our first story comes, unsurprisingly, from Right Wing Watch.

I don't give a fuck. You really don't. You really don't, Tom. I don't. I know. I'm fucking repeating it. I don't think a fuck. You really don't. You really don't, Tom. I don't. I know. I'm fucking repeating it. I don't think anybody thought I did. Tony Perkins warns condom use could lead to tyranny.

No, not could lead. Leads. Sorry. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, could lead is giving him the benefit, for sure. Condom use leads to tyranny. Family Research Council president, Tony Perkins. That's probably a tough

election. It's who knows the worst quotes out of the Bible about gays. That's how you get to become president. They have a debate. It's the opposite of an actual election where it's just like, oh man, I said some really inflammatory

crazy shit and now I'm not going to win. Instead it's like, hey oh, man, I said some really inflammatory, crazy shit. No, I'm not going to win. Instead, it's like, hey, did you hear that guy's crazy, inflammatory shit? Yeah, he's got my vote. He's awesome. Let's get that guy up there. He wants I want him to be the face of our organization. So evidently, he was responding to the news that the Department of Education will investigate 55 colleges and universities for mishandling sexual assault claims.

And so that's a story that has like nothing to do with his tangent. Right. Which I'm sympathetic to that, actually. So. Right. But I mean, in that story, it's like, yeah, the Department of Education is basically saying that there's some colleges and universities who did not handle sexual assault claims vigorously. And so they want to make sure that there's procedures and processes in place to protect the rights of sexual assault victims. That's a good thing.

Somehow he's saying that it's because of rubbers. Like rubbers lead to rape. Yeah, I mean, this is really interesting. Let's listen to what he has to say. I'll play it for him. This is, again, courtesy of Right Wing Watch. Yeah, I mean, this is really interesting. Let's listen to what he has to say. I'll play it for him. This is, again, courtesy of Right Wing Watch, and they stole it from another show. The sexualization that has taken place in our culture in general, but in college campuses,

contraception is made available as if it were candy, which sends a message, well, it's there. It must be there for a reason. And then we're surprised when, and let me say this, I mean, this is not justification, it's wrong. We are all responsible for our actions, but we're surprised when people act on these outside factors that they're surrounded by. Wait a second here. Okay, so what we're saying is because contraception was available, we shouldn't be surprised that there's more rapes? That isn't what he said without trying. And, you know, you could tell that he was trying not to say that. Right.

Because he was like, hmm, maybe if I just hedge and circle around the argument, I can pretend I didn't actually say it. Yeah. He's still kind of make the point I want to make without actually saying that contraception makes rape like unsurprising. It's unsurprising. That's why in places without contraception, there is no rape. Yeah. That's a little known. that's a little known fact that's not true right um so right yeah and that's why the catholic church was so reluctant to bring condoms to africa yeah they didn't want to increase the rate yeah right right like now let's let's we'll taint this beautiful untainted continent which has never been touched by the ravages of rape. Yeah. Rape. No kidding. Okay, so he finishes off this little goofy rant here in a second.

Let me play the rest for you. So, Wendy, I'm with you. It just doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make any sense at all. Me too. I'm a high school teacher, and I see it in high school every single day. You know, just the dress and everything and the attitude and the way they behave at prom and blah, blah, blah.

And the more and more that it's allowed, then they're going to have to have more and more restrictions on it. But how do you make restrictions on it when you keep allowing it? So it's just like this vicious circle. It leads to tyranny. I mean, you're going to eventually have... This is the challenge

we have, folks, when we abandon objective truth. When we try to jettison the moral law and we live by an arbitrary standard that's put in place by government. What the fuck? All my words are backwards words. Yeah. all my words are backwards words yeah i love the fact the woman's like like yeah and kids are dressing so differently nowadays like that's never been said before in history you know i mean where all these kids are showing more skin than they used to you know what i saw the other day was a picture on reddit and it was just like somebody put a post in our pics and it was just a it said hitch hiking home from Woodstock.

Right. And what it was was a naked girl with a backpack and she was holding a sign that said to NYC. So are we saying that she was like suddenly they're dressed sluttier today than they were in the Woodstock times? You know what I mean? Like, are you serious that somehow this is this big, big deal? And then the other thing that I think really galls me about this is that they keep saying, you know, oh, you know, these kids are doing their, you know, the contraception. Would you rather have fucking pregnancies? Because you're not going to stop them fucking. I mean, that's not a thing that's going to happen. They're still going to fuck. Would you rather have them have pregnancies? thing that's going to happen. They're still going to fuck.

Would you rather have them have pregnancies? Well, I think his whole thing is, though, that it doesn't occur to them to have sex unless they can get contraception. Right? He seems to be suggesting that they're walking... that sex is the impulse aisle at the grocery store.

You know, that you didn't intend to get a Snickers bar, but I mean, you were waiting in line and it was right there. Oh, man. I wish. Come on. But I think I could be mistaken, but that's certainly not been the way my sexual experiences have played out.

It's never been like, oh, man, I came over here just to do nothing, but I think I'll just have sex. Yeah. I got a rubber. Fuck it. I'm just going to. I guess I'll just have some sex. Yeah.

You just like walk home, kick open the door. Got a box of condoms. You know, what would even if it would that would have to be even more like planned. He seems to be suggesting that like if you're walking down the street, you just find a condom. You'd be like, well, I'll put that on my dick and fuck something. It's like the one ring to rule them all. You just like put it on and you're like immediately my precious, you know? The fuck?

We'll be fucking for a very long time. The other thing, too, is that these people are against, you know, I mean, clearly this group is against abortion, too. Right. So if if we didn't give them the contraception and they did have the sex sexes, then they would have these babies. And they seem to think that it's OK that a teenager has a child. Right. Like that's something that I think that they're fine with. has a child, right? Like that's something that I think that they're fine with. And I'm always flabbergasted by the people, not only to think that, you know, teenagers should be parents, because I don't think that teenagers are equipped to be parents. And, you know, maybe that makes people mad. Maybe somebody in the audience had a child when they were a teenager and they think

they did a pretty good job. Maybe you did, but you're probably the exception and not the rule. You know what I mean? Like being a teenager and having a child is a lot of responsibility. And I always wonder too about those people too, because what would you say to somebody who was 16 and wanted to adopt someone? You would say, you can't do that. You know what I mean? Like there would be a rule. There'd be a rule in place for you not to be able to do that,

but you're perfectly fine to be 16 and shit on a kid. That's fine. But you can't, you probably couldn't adopt someone. Although I'm just speaking out of my ass. I have no idea if there's rules in place. I would suspect that there are, but I have no idea if there are rules in place. There's certainly monetary restrictions in place because it costs a lot of money to actually adopt a child. But in any case, I just I always find it so odd that it's it's so counterproductive. Not only are we against the contraception and the ways in which to prevent sex but we're also against you know the outcomes of that if we

don't get the prevention in place it's just i mean it's just you're essentially just sentencing your your children the people that are these young people to a life that is probably less than what they could have led if they would have waited until they were at least ready to have a child. You know, I think that's a good point. No matter how well somebody ends up parenting as a teenager, one can at the very least say it's suboptimum, right? It's not the optimum time in somebody's life, typically, to say like yeah i'm i'm 16 i am at the height of my you know financial and emotional maturity level maturity right like that's not that's not a thing that's a true you know that's right and like that woman who's speaking that it just makes me crazy she's like i teach in high school i see it every day these kids with their proms and they're dancing

and they're touching of each other's filthy bodies. Like, come on, lady. Like, when did you not see that? Like, when was that not the case? When was it the case that teenagers didn't have fucking hormones? You want to bring me back to fucking Mayberry where everybody held hands, that's fine. But if you want to live in the real world, that's just not a world that's ever existed.

Yeah, and tell me that in Mayberry, they weren't driving down by the creek to go bang each other. You know what I mean? Like, that's bullshit. It's a load of shit. It's not a true statement. There's this story, and we might actually cover it here. I'm not sure if this is, if it's now or later, but there's a story about, you know, how many

people have premarital sex, and the number is outrageous. The number of people that have premarital sex. So clearly the people that you are, you know, the homeschool kids that are, you know, that have to deal with, you know, the, uh, the abstinence only program that their parents is telling them they're having premarital sex. People are going to have premarital sex. Let's just make sure that they do it safely, that they're not getting STDs, that they're not getting pregnant before they need to, before they are, like we said, emotionally and financially secure, then, you know, suddenly society might start to change a little. Look, I got a seven-year-old and I fill his backpack with condoms every morning, just in case. He gives them his balloon. He's like the Johnny Appleseed of condoms. He's running around. What, he's planning that? Throwing rubbers behind him like, tra-la-la, look at me, I am throwing rubbers.

Because that's what Johnny Appleseed was really like. I can't confirm that or deny it. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole.

Glory hole. So this next story also comes from Right Wing Watch. Former Bush administration official explains how gays are worse than murderers. What? Former Bush administration official Robert O'Reilly is out with a new book called Making Gay Okay. How clever. How rationalizing homosexual behavior is changing everything. How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything.

It's got to be a good book because it has won endorsements from John Easterman of the National Organization for Marriage and ex-gay therapist Joseph Nicolosi. Hey, it's a Nicolosi, huh? It's a Nicolosi. I endorse this book, huh? So he appeared on the Janet Mefford show. Hey, did you know there was a Janet Mefford show? I don't think Janet Mefford knew there was a Janet Mefford show. Yeah, that's called he appeared in Janet Mefford's living room.

Yeah, exactly. It'd be like if they came to Glory Hole Studios. Welcome to the studio. It's not a weird murder room in my basement. It's not a creepy weird murder room next to my camping supplies. It's like sitting on her couch. It's like a fucking poodle biting him while he's fucking trying to give the interview. Could you get your dog to stop humping my leg, lady? It's like kids running around the house, shooting Nerf guns at them in the middle of the interview.

Pew, pew, pew. Oh, my God. So he's got a pretty strong rationale, Cecil. He does. Let's listen to his rationale. I'm going to play three clips. They're about a minute long. This is from the Janet Medford show,

courtesy of Right Wing Watch. After the person murders someone or looks at pornography, they come to see that what they did was actually wrong. Well, they might come, but they don't see what they did was wrong. That's very true. They can't excuse it. And moral order is restored, and they're contrite from having done so. But what if you organize your life around something that is wrong? Are we still going on the assumption that porn is wrong?

I was going to say, like, I have organized my life around pornography. It's worked out fine. You know what? You know who else has? Pornographers. Many of them are doing just fine, thank you. Just fine. Just fine.

Then you must construct a more permanent rationalization that prevents your conscience from returning to tell you that you've just done something profoundly wrong. Now, this is exactly the case with active homosexuals. As opposed to the ones who are on inactive status. Yeah, like inactive ones. They're like sitting on the bench. They're waiting to get called in. Or are they more like volcanoes? Like they could go off at any time. They're dormant homosexuals. Dormant homosexuals. Put me in, coach. I'm ready to fight. Put me in. I can do it. I can do it. Now extended to homosexual marriage where they have to say that wrong is right. And not only is it right, but it's normative, morally normative. So we need to teach it. We need to bless it in marriages.

We need to ordain it in churches. And we need to enforce it in our laws. And that is what is happening. Okay. So I do not know of anybody who's saying they need to bless it in their churches or ordain it, whatever the fuck he said, bless it in their marriages or ordain it in their churches. Who gives a fuck what you bless or ordain? As long as the fucking state pays attention to it, who cares what your fucking shitty little church does? Yeah, you know, that's such like a weird argument that nobody's making. Like they're arguing against like, yeah, well, you said that if there's gay marriage, then the pulp has to become gay.

What are you fucking talking about? Nobody has said that. Like, what are you saying? Like, well, the sky will turn red. Like fucking what? What are you saying? All right., the sky will turn red. Like, fucking what? What are you saying? All right. There's two more clips. We're going to go to the next one. Janet Medford, courtesy of Right Wing Watch. The sexual act and homosexual is in males a sodomy.

And how could an unchaste act be a source of fidelity? And that's a contradiction in terms. Right. And of course, they say you can't say it's unchaste because we're back to this worldview if i decide that it's something that's right for me who are you to decide that it's not right for me and to impose that on all of society although at the same time what they're doing is reversing everything taking everything upside down and then saying we're going to impose our morality on all of you. But that's as absurd as saying the eye isn't for seeing. Who are you to say the eye is for seeing or the ear is for hearing? It is not we who say that.

It's the eye that lets us know when we examine it. Excellent. And we can't forget just because we get below the waist that all of a sudden, well, who knows what these organs are for? Wow. Yes. We go to sort of some epistemological amnesia. Who could imagine what our sexual powers are for? That's so true.

Sexual powers? I didn't get any sexual powers. I especially don't have any sexual powers. I'm like the Aquaman of sexual powers. I have no sexual powers at all. That actually assumes a level of wetness that you can't achieve, I'm just saying. If I'm the Aquaman, though, I guess porn stars are like the superheroes with sexual powers. They're the ones.

They have great costumes, admittedly. I'm like the Captain America, just always blocking. Just always. It's like all I got. It really gives a whole new meaning, the word bat cave, I guess. Okay, so what is he saying? He's saying once we get below the waist, we immediately think, oh, what are these organs for? Whatever.

First, sodomy. I mean, we're only talking about men now? You know, we're only talking about, we always only talk about men. We always only talk about when men are having sex. Men don't necessarily have to have to butt sex. You know what I mean? men don't necessarily have to have to butt sex they don't actually have to have that but the very fact is is that what is a mouth for you know what i mean like you know there's all these it's a fucking hole man just like your hand can be made into a hole that holds a banana or a penis or your mouth can be turned into a hole or your ass can be turned into...

It's something to put your dick in. That's fucking what we've been doing. Like, we've been trying to... You would fuck a pillow when you're 15. You know what I mean? Like, if it had a hole in it. Who's to say the eye is foreseen? We'll come up with another use for it

and we'll talk about it. Yeah, exactly. One's a unitasker, one's a unitasker one's a multitasker that's like a first thought it's like well who's to say well you know i guess if somebody was like hey look my eye can juggle i'd be like yeah cool i wouldn't be like whoa put that fucking eye stop thing that shouldn't be juggling what do you get there you you got a thing that does lots of stuff like right what do i what do i say about my hands? Should I be like, oh, that's a hand. That's only for pointing.

Because it points. For jerking. Like, oh, that's a hand. That's only for grasping. I shouldn't point at stuff because that's not what my fucking hand is for. I shouldn't push anything or pull on it, you know, whatever. Yeah. I shouldn't swim because my feet ain't flippers.

You know. Right. Mine aren't. But, you know, most people's aren't. I got the webbed feet. So, but still, you know. You but you know most people aren't i got the wet feet so but still you know you do giant duck feet huge pear-shaped body with duck feet oh i am an act of genetic gifts i'll tell you that much i'm just i'm fucking blessed i'm blessed in a church that's where

i'm blessed right let's finish this fucking douchebag out. Here's his last little bit. What is the nature of this act of sodomy? And we can only judge the nature of that act when we examine the nature and purpose of our sexual powers. a highly disordered, immoral act, and a profound misuse of our sexual powers, which is why it has been condemned in Western civilization for 4,000 years, and not just in Western civilization. That's right. So what do you think is ahead for our country? Do you have any expectation at all that the United States will one day wake up and say,

wait a second, we've been had. We need to really fight this. Yes, I think that will happen. It's just a matter of how much damage will be done before it happens. This will fail because it is against nature. So its principal enemy is reality. I don't think much damage will be done if they use enough lube. I think it'll be fine. Yeah, be safe, you know? Have a good time. It's all right.

Good. Gentle. That's all I'm saying. A lot of preparation goes a long way. Name a damage that's been done. Right. If there's no damage that's been done, it's like people are going to wake up and look around and be like, man, we got to repair the fucking fucking where'd that damage go again like where

is it at again oh it's because now i have to bake a cake that's the damage clearly they're talking about um sexual acts between you know consenting adults but they're trying to make it seem like you know this is condemned and it's a misuse. It's like, well, who's to say what's a misuse? That's, and I, I, I disagree. You know, the second clip we played where she's talking about, she's saying, well, they'll say it's about this. Well, I'll say it's about that as long as it's about two consenting adults who aren't, you know, injuring another person who's not willing to be injured, right? If it's somebody who's hurting someone else, then yeah,

it's clearly something that we need to make sure that isn't a thing that happens. But when it's two consenting adults, I don't understand why people get their underwear in such a bunch about it. Who gives a fuck what two people do in their bedroom? I don't care. I mean, I don't care at all. I know not, you know, and I want to point out too, like the very opening of this, when he's making the comparison,

you know, he makes a comparison to a murderer and a poor, and somebody who views pornography. when he's making the comparison you know he makes a comparison to a murderer and a poor and somebody who views pornography and he's saying like well what they're going to do is they're going to see that what they did was wrong and they're going to feel remorse for it and that that somehow makes it better that's a better situation because remorse and contrition are involved and i think like man can you imagine can you imagine being somebody whose family was shattered by losing a loved one through murder? Like your fucking mother or father or brother or whatever was fucking murdered. And you're going to say, well, I mean, that's better than gay sex because the dude who murdered my mom feels bad about it. Right, right.

Like, oh, yeah, well, that's better than two guys fucking. Right. And could you imagine, Tom, if you were the victim of pornography? I know, right? I Right, right. Like, oh yeah, well that's better than two guys fucking. Right, and could you imagine, Tom, if you were the victim of pornography? I know, right? I mean, God. I have been the victim of pornography many times. And I've inflicted swift

justice on myself. That was sophomoric, Cecil. Everything we do is sophomoric, Cecil. It was. Everything we do is sophomoric. One day I'll graduate to junior. Junioric. Junioric.

This next story comes from Right Wing Watch. Florida man requests to marry porn-filled Apple computer in super clever marriage equality protest. Florida man's taken his obsession to a new level, filing a motion to intervene in the case, challenging the state's marriage equality ban and purporting to seek the right to marry his porn filled Apple computer. And Cecil, his reasoning is that he quote recently purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography.

I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Reward cycle? Jesus Christ. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally. Got a tiny little penis that could fit in the CD slot, so. As somebody who has viewed pornography and had sex with real women. Naturally. He's got a tiny little penis that could fit in the CD slot. As somebody who has viewed pornography

and had sex with real women, nobody prefers the pornography. That's very true. I also want to say, too, to this guy, look, man, you don't have to buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free. You know what I mean? You don't have to marry it.

You're getting it for free. Isn't that that old saying that they say when you're having premarital sex? They're just like, don't buy the cow. Well, isn't it also like it's the only wife that has pre-planned obsolescence? Right. You've got to upgrade her in a few years.

Right. Oh, man. My wife needs new RAM or something for the RAMing. I can't RAM her without more RAM. I can't RAM her. He says, naturally, I fell in love with my computer, preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things. Or things. As a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

The courts didn't buy it, Cecil. Wow. He couldn't slip that one past? He slips it past the computer, but not past the... Right, yeah, sure. I love that he says he's having sex with his computer. He says here, like, over time, I began preferring sex with my computer. Yeah, no, I mean, he's putting it in the USB.

Like, wow. Sorry, dude, that's probably why the ladies don't want to have sex with you. That's a skinny mini, bud. Yeah? That's not good. Yeah, it's not tab A, slot B, bro. You know, the hard part about fucking the USB is every time you go to put it in, it's

upside down. It's upside down. You gotta flip the computer upside down. I know, Tom. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Stand on my head to fuck this thing jesus christ can't they just put a good symbol on here so i know which way to go you know that's just such a weak fucking argument that you just i mean we just talked about it a few minutes ago it's like consent it's like fucking you can't get consent from fucking a non-animate object you can't be like oh it's inanimate well then it just doesn't get to decide whether it has consent or not like it's you know that's why you don't get

tax benefits for marrying your computer or tax actually it's not tax benefits it's more you get to pay more taxes but in any case you don't get the benefits i guess of seeing your computer when it's on its deathbed at best Buy getting ready to be terminally. They're going to pull the plug. The fucking geek squad is standing around looking solemn. Literally pull the plug. It's on a backup UPS instead of life support. Exactly.

And actually that beep the UPSs make when they activate is not that dissimilar to the code sound. Like, some shit's wrong some shit's wrong god i fucking hate this story. This is all over the everything. This is from the Inquisitor. Kidnap schoolgirls. Boko Haram leader rants.

Allah commands me to sell them. The numbers keep moving. So this is a weird thing. It was like 278 not that long ago. Now it's 223. I've seen numbers that are all over the map. But there are 200 and change. Missing schoolgirls. And I get fucking hung up on the on the numbers because it doesn't end well for at least 200 of them.

And they're being held by the Boko Haram extremist group. And he's basically selling them that basically saying that Allah says, got to sell these women, got to sell these girls. That's what I'm required to do by my religion. I abducted your girls, he says. I will sell them in the market by Allah. There is a market for selling humans. Allah says I should sell. He commands me to sell.

I will sell women. I sell women. So I don't think we took that out of context. We're going to get an email. You're taking this guy out of context. context. You're going to get an email. You're taking this guy out of context. No, clearly he is saying that it is my duty

as somebody who believes in this dumb book. And he's like praising your God, right? I want to sell these women. No, I don't think there's any way to misconstrue that statement. Right. He says he understands in the video. He says he understands where the country

is outraged at him. He says we are holding people as slaves well at least he's not fucking mincing words no i mean clearly he knows what he's saying he knows what he's doing right you had mentioned earlier too you're like you couldn't believe that 223 people got kidnapped and the first thing that i thought of i'm like what does the Amber Alert look like for 200 people? It's like, be on the lookout for these 200 cars. Your phone alert would just drain your battery before it got to the 200 people. It just keeps buzzing.

It's like, be on the lookout for this car and this car. Or it's just like seven buses, maybe. I don't know. Where do you put 200 people? I don't know. Like a mall? How do you hide 200 people? I don't know. A small hangar. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Can you help me find that last 200 people that I can't find?

You know, it's unsettling that that the Boko Haram extremist group has such control over a wide enough swath of Nigeria that, I mean, effectively the government is unable to act in a meaningful way. And the international community is unsurprisingly outraged. But, you know, what does that fucking mean? You know, that and a fucking postcard. You know what I mean? Fuck that. That doesn't do shit. So this guy is selling them.

And the reports are that he's selling these people as child brides for the equivalent of $12 each. And now let's be really clear about what selling a woman against her will as a child bride is. That's fucking sex slavery. Right, exactly. That's all that

that is. He's basically fucking fundraising but instead of selling World's Fighters chocolate. Oh, man. Girl Scout cookies. He's selling the girls. Just cut out the middleman and sell the girls. No.

Did you look at this guy? Did you take a look at this guy? I mean, seriously, with that gun and that hat, he looks like Elmer Fudd. Hold on, hold on. Not Elmer Fudd. Amir Fudd. Let me just change that. Amir Fudd.

That's awesome. He totally looks like that hat looks like fucking Elmer Fudd hat. I love when they post these videos where they're just always holding a gun. Yeah. It's like, no, you kidnapped a bunch of people we trust that you have firearms that's something you could keep off screen you don't need to reveal that in act one you know what it is we know there's going to be a murder and it's right it's the fucking scepter like that's what he's holding like the gun for all these guys it's like the fucking scepter you know the king holds a scepter is like a like a fucking symbol of his power like

do you see that i have a scepter this is currently a scepter like that's the only purpose for it right exactly and these guys have these fucking ak-47s like i am holding an ak-47 you want to be like fucking i bet everybody else in the room's holding an ak-47 it doesn't make you special Fucking, I bet everybody else in the room is holding an AK-47. It doesn't make you special. Exactly. It's not like you're this gold-plated, bro. Right, you don't have the only AK-47.

Yeah. So we're going to take a short break, give you some information on how to contact us, how to donate to the show, and we'll be back in a few moments. If you would like to contact the show, visit the website, DissidentsPod.com for the links to the Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and email accounts. You can also call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Did you know that you can become a patron of the show?

Go to Patreon.com. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com forward slash DissonancePod. And you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you don't want to donate money, please take a moment to give us a good review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell a like-minded friend about the show. So to everyone who supports the show, glory hole. You fucking rock. So this story comes from Think Progress.

Las Vegas police host Choose Purity event claiming premarital sex turns girls into prostitutes. Vegas, you've got this backwards for your business model. Your whole business model is based on turning girls into prostitutes. I know. I know. You're Vegas. Yeah. There's, like, training programs there. Are you kidding me?

I mean, like, you can go there and take a seminar. You can get a certificate from the community college. Yeah, what I like about this story is, okay, so the police are out against it. And the police say, so they made this charity, this Choose Purity event that basically was put on by this coward guy. I love that his name is, he's like a police guy. I know, isn't that great? He's a coward. is because typically women who are not sexually abstinent wind up as victims of sexual assault

or they become members of a gang or take drugs or become prostitutes. And then you read later on in the article, it says a survey published in 2006 found that 95% of Americans had premarital sex. The same survey, of course, found that 95% of people also take drugs, become prostitutes and join gangs. It's fucking the same survey, of course, found that 95% of people also take drugs, become prostitutes, and join gangs.

It's fucking awesome, dude. Actually, they're prostitute gangs. Yeah, they're actually drug prostitute gangs. Yeah. The gang fights are kind of sexy, actually. They are super hot. I've got some video files. I'm just saying.

Right, right. Sure. That is such a funny thing. It's like they get all worked up, you know, like, oh, man, these fucking girls. It says the message of the event, according to the Las Vegas Sun, is that girls who get promiscuous because you can get promiscuous, can wind up dead. It's like, well, anyone can wind up dead. You don't have to have any special like it's not like you get in a car accident and then your fucking face is about to impact a tree. And the tree's like, wait, her hymen's intact. And then, like, it softens.

That's not. But if it's not, they beat her to death with a shovel. It's like a whomping willow from Harry Potter. It's just like beating this. She's like, oh, I'm fine. The tree's like, no, you're not. Nature is not getting back at you for fucking not nature is not getting back at you for fucking society is not getting back at you for fucking you know fate is not getting back at you god is not getting back at you nobody's getting back at

you the only thing you have to do is choose safe partners and be safe about the way that you do it and most of the time things will end up just fine right as evidenced by the way that you do it, and most of the time, things will end up just fine. Right. As evidenced by the fact that 95% of Americans... I know, right? Like, when your sample size is that big? And we got to talk, too, because we got a message from Rachel,

and she sent in a link that's very apropos to this. Essentially, it's a link that's... And it'll be on our website. It's called These Father-Daughter Christian Purity Balls Photos Are Really Creepy. It's from liberalamerica.org. And she sent it in and just take a minute, click on this link. And, you know, this link is going to take you to a site that's going to show you a whole long stretch of these images. And some of these images wouldn't be so bad if they weren't framed around the fact that they're coming from Christian purity balls. And the very notion and the very topic that they're talking about is being chased and

not having sex. Yeah, man, it's I mean, you look at these and some of these photos would be really sweet photos, although some of these photos are fucking weird as hell, no matter how you take it. I want to talk about a couple of the weird ones because why not? I want to talk about the second photo. It's of a farmer in a field of just dirt. It's just, they're just like, let's take a picture in the dirt. And it's just tractor in the background.

It's just like it's like in the tractor. The field is like recently been fucking mudded and dirt clodinated. And the girl looks as unhappy as I have ever seen a teenage girl look. And that is something, by the way, because I have generally throughout the course of my teenage years made most teenage girls unhappy. I cannot imagine. Because I have generally throughout the course of my teenage years made most teenage girls unhappy. Yeah. I cannot imagine. And that's the thing. Like, look at a lot of these photos.

Someone in the photo looks unhappy. Right. Almost none of these. Like, the third photo down, there's like a girl and she's like making like smiling at the camera and the dad looks fucking pissed. Dad looks furious. He looks fucking insanely pissed. Worst tie ever i want to talk about the fourth one down or the i guess it'd be the fifth one down um it's a guy and he's looking out over the mountains he's standing at parade rest so he's standing at parade rest with his hands behind his back i think that's what they call that

where he and he's in uniform he's in camouflage uniform he's got a beret on his head so he's clearly some sort of special something and he's standing there and he's looking out in his raised up over on the side of her head in a very provocative pose standing next to him and you just see the back of them it's really weird it's such a weird photo man it's like you can't figure out what possibly possessed these two people to be like all all right, I want the camera positioned behind us. Yeah. And then I'm going to stand here looking fucking military and you're going to stand here looking flexible.

I don't know. It's almost as if Tom, the person who's taking these photos wanted them to, wanted to really show how creepy this shit was. Right. So he convinced them to do this stuff. That's the only way I could, I can absolutely figure out that this stuff happened. It was some person who was against this, pretended to be a photographer for them or something

and said, hey, I'd love to take your photos while you're doing this creepy thing. And then let's make sure you do something really creeped out while you're doing it. Like, that's the only thing I could think. Some of these photos too, like we're talking, there's one where there's these two very young girls, very young girls. They're in the middle of the mountains and these girls, they can't be more, one of the girls is probably not over five.

The other girl doesn't look like she's, she looks like she's under 10, clearly not sexually active. And it looks like a really cute picture because he's just standing there with these two girls. If it wasn't under the context of it being in a purity ball right wait you've got to talk to them that young about this activity you know that little four or five year old or maybe even let's say she's six or seven she's got a couple of years to go she doesn't i mean that's not a thing that she needs to know about yet well i mean clearly you can tell her about it but you know to expect

um i mean just to like have that sort of thing hanging over at such a young age it's just a she needs to know about yet. Well, I mean, clearly you can tell her about it, but, you know, to expect, I mean, just to like have that sort of thing hanging over at such a young age, it's just weird and it's controlling and it's all the things that are wrong with, you know, arranged marriages, essentially. Well, and it sexualizes children before they need to be sexualized. Like it actually does the opposite thing, right? Because it's, I mean, you cannot have a purity ball if you don't discuss what you're trying to be pure of. Right.

You know, and I mean, how do you even start? So now you look at this photo and it's like, well, I don't I don't want to look at this photo in a in a sexual context at all. Like if this was just like, hey, I'm a dad and here's my kids. Like that's a perfectly nice photo. Yeah. No one would think anything. Now, the ones with their arms around the tummy, you know, from the behind is weird. But again, if it was just under the context of this is my daughter.

I went out and took a photo in the middle of my mud farm or whatever. Then, okay, great. You know, like, yeah, it's a little weird. Maybe you're, you know, maybe I wouldn't do that. But, you know, at the same time, as long as it's not under the context of this stuff, it's a totally different fucking photo. You know, I also want to point out, Cecil, that many of these photos are taken outside in the middle of like dire scrub land. I know. I mean, it's seriously like the one photo of the of the Marine with the daughter who's got her eyes closed.

Like in the fucking Mojave Desert. They're like in the fucking Mojave Desert. They're like in the middle of fucking nowhere. After the nuclear winter, there were purity balls. They're like seriously on a fucking sand dune. It's like The Walking Dead or some shit. So many of them, it's like, oh man, we gotta take a picture outside. It's a beautiful

dire, scrub-filled barren wasteland sort of day. Well, that's kind of how they want their sex lives. It's just funny because it's all like, it obviously speaks to this sort of like rural America, you know, like this, you know, hinterlands America. You know, you don't see this like in fucking downtown Manhattan. I'll tell you that much. Yeah.

All right, Tom, let's play a game. All right, Cecil, I'm ready for a game. All right, here we go. Give me an adjective. Plump. I like plump. That's a good one. Give me a noun.

Diaper. I can tell what's on your mind. Animal type, two of them in a row. Eel and squid. Verb, base form. Drop. The base. Give me a noun.

Plantain. Better be base. What is it? Plantain. How about a proper noun? Hardies. Is that with two E's? I think it is.

I think it is. Liquid. Semen. Of course. This is Glorial Studios. Three parts of a body in a row. Follicles. Anus.

Birthmark. A noun. Orangutan. I have no idea how to spell that. Full name of a person. Ronald Reagan. How about an animal? Plural.

Lemon sharks. That's not a thing, is it? Is that a thing? Yeah. Do they go around with puckered lips all the time? No, that's exactly it. No, they actually only eat lemons. There's only one of them.

It just flies around trees. A part of the body. Ear lobes. How about a liquid and a part of the body? Glue. Orbital bone. Two verbs. Ransack and muddle.

Muddle. Isn't that what they call the things on Harry Potter? Noun. Orphan. Full name of a person. Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs. All right.

So this is Mad Lib Viticus. And I think this is this is chapter three. If the offering is a plump offering from the diaper. From either the eel or squid, you are to offer a male without defect. You are to drop it at the north side of the plantain before the Lord and the hardy sons. That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't work. The priests shall splash its semen against the sides of the altar.

Well, good for you. You are to cut it into pieces and the priest shall arrange them, including the follicles and the anus on the wood that is burning in the altar. You are to wash the internal organs and the birthmark with water and the priest shall bring them and burn them on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering,

and an orangutan pleasing to the Lord. If the offering is to the Ron Reagan, it is a burnt offering of lemon sharks. You are to offer a dove or a young pigeon. The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the earlobes and burn it on the altar. Its glue shall be drained out to the side of the

altar. He is to remove the crop and the orbital bone and throw them down the east of the altar where the ashes are. He shall ransack it open by the wings, but not dividing it completely. And a priest shall muddle it, and the orphan that is burning on the altar, it is a burnt offering, a food offering, and an aroma pleasing to Steve Jobs.

I love this story. This is from the Friendly Atheist blog. Christians will fast for 40 days to protest gay marriage. Gays all over the country still eating food and having sex don't care. And the Christian group planning the event, they're not really saying like, yeah, we're not going to eat anything. They're just like, yeah, you can maybe stop eating Kit Kats for a week. Maybe they're just going to avoid all phallic foods. Yeah, like we're not eating

any dick shaped foods. Like no hot dogs. No, you can't eat any sausages. It's like, you remember that story from a few years ago where they were like, yeah, women can't be in the same room as like a gourd or something like that. A gourd! Jesus!

I kind of want to meet that woman. You can't satisfy that woman. No, I didn't say satisfy. Tom, I said meet. There's a difference. I don't want to do anything. I just want to meet her. I can't satisfy any woman,

so what the hell am I talking about? What the hell? I can meet a lot of women. I just don't satisfy a single one. Yeah, I think this is ridiculous they're gonna fast right why because god's like oh y'all don't have anything in your tummies okay i'll do what you said like what what is that guess i'm gonna kill all the queers that's it's a little known fact that that's actually how noah got them to uh got god to destroy the entire earth. He just didn't eat at all.

Yeah. Like from birth. He didn't eat. Yeah, and it said one of the Ten Commandments. I think, wasn't it Charlton Heston? Is that who that was who did the Ten Commandments? Right. He reads it sort of slow.

It's like, I shall listen more closely to thou who has not eaten a food. Like that was one of them. It was taken. I was like, it got edited out in the rough draft though. You know what I mean? You go through the editing process and you lose some of these commandments. You just can't expect to keep them all. You can't keep them all.

No way. There's all this rock on the cutting room floor. Yeah. Just tablets strewn everywhere. There's like a chisel next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts you can tell who the editor is he's got fucking forearms like a blacksmith he does he does you should see that guy it's awesome he's like a brick that guy you know i love that idea that fasting like because a lot of religious cultures do it you know and, and it's like, it's like God's like, oh, wait, what'd you say? Oh, no, you had a hamburger.

Fuck you. Uh-uh. No way. I'm listening to you, bro. You went to Culver's. Right? It's like, it's like, oh, my God. Dear God, I just found out my little boy has fucking face cancer.

Wait, is that a butter burger? Yeah, I fucking, I just ate. But you, you ate, did you have cheese curds? Fucking, I live in the Midwest. I'm very fat. I don't want to tell you it's sweater season. Look, anyway, my kid's got, there's nothing I can do for you. Come back in 40 days.

Fucking, he'll be dead in 40. Listen, those are the breaks. Like, what? Nothing we can do. Next. Lucifer ran this world. That's exactly correct. And that is what they're seeking to bring back in the last days.

That is the world government. That is the last beast. That is the fourth beast that is coming. It is a resurrection of the pre-flood Luciferian government. So this story comes from the L.A. Times. And there were a lot, this story was kind of all over the place. So the Supreme Court recently made a decision

basically saying that prayer before session for like city council, things along those lines, that even though you pray, that's somehow not religious. Okay, not sure how that works anyhow that's much to the delight of the of the groups is it a Louisiana group

I don't know I think it's a Louisiana group that's a group of like Satanists that are putting up the hilarious fucking statues of fucking vomit everywhere with his fucking fingers raised like the shocker I know putting up the hilarious fucking statues of fucking vomit everywhere. Like dude, with his fucking fingers raised like the shocker. I know he's totally doing the shocker.

He's got a BS goat face. He's fucking awesome. So they basically were like, okay, great. If you can have prayers at the beginning of, of city council session, like we'll write a prayer for you. And they did.

They wrote a prayer and the prayer is actually a pretty fucking good prayer. The prayer is pretty awesome. Let's read. I want to read first, Tom. I'm going to read the other prayer at the top that they found objectionable first. So I'm going to read this one again. This is from the LA Times article. Lord, God of all creation, we give you thanks and praise for your presence and action in the world. We look with anticipation to the celebration of the Holy Week and Easter. It is in the solemn events of next week that we find the very heart and center of our Christian faith. We acknowledge the saving sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. We draw strength, vitality, and confidence from the resurrection at Easter. We pray for peace in the world and end to terrorism, violence, conflict, and war.

We pray for stability, democracy, and good government in those countries in which our armed forces are now serving, especially in Iraq and Afghanistan. Praise and glory be yours. Oh, Lord. Now and forevermore. Quote the Raven. Amen. I got it.

You know what, though? I really do. You know, one of the things that I think is a benefit of this. Could you imagine if there was some sort of statement of facts with everyone you had a conversation with, where if they started their talk to you and they said something like this, you could just be like, oh, you're not a person I want to talk to. Right.

Like, oh, we're done here. This really feels like when they come out and say this shit, it's just like, oh, you're people that really need to be voted out. Maybe not now, but I'll remember and I won't ever vote for you again. And I will tell everyone else I know not to vote for you. Yeah. And how in the world? How in the world?

I mean, the Supreme Court's just wrong. They're just wrong on this. Right, right. There's no way that that's just like, because what they basically said, this court said, look, it's just a tradition. It's not necessarily a government. They're not really saying, God, hey, we give you praise. They're just a tradition. So, you know, it's not a government endorsement of religion.

Really? Because when I go to a government event and somebody says, I mean, the prayer you just read is the most aggressively Christian thing I've ever heard. Like, the Bible is less Christian than that. Like, if Jesus was fucking in Glory Hole Studios taking one for the team, that would be less Christian than what you just read. I'd like to welcome Jesus to the show. Jesus, you are not the father. But you are the son you're actually you're actually the son and the holy ghost so you are your own father that's very confusing dna cat test is really weirding me out let's read let's read

though um the the prayer that this person sent that was the Satanist prayer. It's fucking love it. It's awesome. And the proposal was a response to the installation of a six foot granite tablet inscribed with the Ten Commandments by the Oklahoma legislatures. So this is this was the satanic temple prayer thing that this guy put together. It says, and I fucking love it. I think it's awesome. Let us stand now unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful

minds and darkened times. Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth shall never be spared its demise. It is done.

Hail Satan. Hail Satan, bro. Did he do the devil horns? Did he do the devil horns, do you think? I don't know. It's just like when he wrote it after he was done. He's like, Hail Satan. He just put up those two little horns i love it i think it's great i mean i think the satan luciferian shit is nonsense but i think that the other stuff is great in there i

mean i really do think that there's a lot of good stuff in there that you know clearly is is worthwhile i also think too you know uh wanting to end in the other one that I read, wanting to end terrorism, violence, conflict and war is a good thing. Right. But don't pray for it. Act on it. Try to do it. Don't pray for an end to terrorism, violence, conflict and war, because now you're putting the onus on someone else. Put it on yourself. Yeah. Do some fucking work, you know. And it's like it kind of makes me crazy when it's like, and God, if you could give our troops like special heat seeking bullets to blow up the heads of our enemies, that would be super dandy.

Can you bless these pork bullets, God? A long wakeable, a long wakeable. A long wakeable. Wakeable. Oh, my God. This story is fucking awful. It comes from Yahoo. Saudi liberals website founder sentenced to 10 years in jail and a thousand lashes. This actually this is the story. The reason I wanted to talk about the story is that he was originally sentenced to seven years and 600 lashes.

But an appeals court overturned the sentence, ordered a retrial, and he got fucking a worse sentence. He did. It's like, you know, it's like going to the parole hearing and they just beat you up. It's like, no, we're just going to fucking curb stunt you, just beat you up you know they're just like no we're just gonna fucking curb stomp you dude how dare you i'm picturing like running a gauntlet of like old men and like purse holding women like just because like the parole board's like just like a bunch of like like just like beating the shit out of you but it doesn't really hurt except for that there's a lot of annoying yeah it's really annoying how you? It's like death by a thousand paper cuts.

Yeah. I really do think, though, I think that the courts over there are giving out these, they're just like throwing these sentences on people. I'm like reminded of Oprah. It's like, look under your seat. You get 10 years and you get 10 years and you get 10 years. You know, like it's just ridiculous how easily and how quickly they pass out sentences for apostasy. Although in this one they didn't. They're like, no, you know, we're not going to give him apostasy.

But we are going to try and for all these other stupid things that really aren't fucking crimes. Like disobeying his father. He was arrested in 2012. He was charged with cybercrime and disobeying his father. A was arrested in 2012. He was charged with cyber crime and disobeying his father, a crime in Saudi Arabia. And my fucking first thought was like, how do you even know what a crime is in Saudi Arabia? There's no laws when you're talking about like, well, I got to get a good lawyer. Really? Don't you got to get a good law? Yeah. You got to be a mind reader over there first. And then, you know, after this thing, it says it talks about, you know, he's getting a thousand lashes, a thousand lashes, one thousand lashes.

And it says his lawyer said Wednesday's sentence was too harsh, although the prosecutor had demanded a harsher penalty. And then the fucking kicker, the ruling is subject to appeal. Yeah, I would is subject to appeal. Yeah. I would not want that appeal. I would fucking stop appealing and be like, last time. I'm like, I'm in the fucking hole 40% here. Yeah, you just eat what you're given.

You just eat what you're given at that point. You're just like, nope, I'm not asking for seconds or a different food. I'm just eating this bowl of shit that you have provided me. Shit sandwich it is, sir. Done and done. Looks good. I'll take two. Do not fucking retry me in your crazy court of non-existent laws. The whole fucking law talking system over there.

The talking system is really crazy. It's just the fucking holy book. It's just the Koran, which basically means that it's arbitrary and set out by a bunch of judges and prosecutors. And it's like, yep. Yeah. What do you think we should do with this guy? I don't know. Does he have any blood money to pay? Is that a thing in this crime? Fucking did he disobey his dad? What there is is just it's just arbitrary vengeance seeking by a group of powerful individuals. That's exactly it. And, you know, the funny thing is, is like, you know, it's a really bad system if the U.S. justice system looks preferable in this case. I mean, if you're like, the U.S. justice system looks like a fucking, a gleaming, you know, tower of knowledge compared to that.

Yeah, right? Like, can you imagine if this guy had a dime bag? They would have catapulted him into a volcano. Can you imagine if this guy had a dime bag? They would have catapulted him into a volcano. That's the best way to go, by the way, is being catapulted. You know, of the ways to be executed, I think catapulted into a volcano is probably going to be my favorite. I like that one a lot. It's actually like a game of Angry Birds, though.

Like the first, like, two or three. Angry bones. You got to watch out. Those bones are really angry. The first two or three prisoners, like you maybe have the trajectory a little off. So they just like skip across the caldera. Like, okay, I got to go a little, little to the left, a little, little more oomph in that thing.

But when they finally get it, it is spectacular. That's when you get three gold stars. This is three gold star day. They actually put a bunch of pigs at the edge of the volcano for you to knock them in. Those are the apostates. That would seriously be the most

fucking ridiculously fun app ever. To be like, be a Saudi Arabian court shooting fucking apostates into a volcano. You want answers? To be like, be a Saudi Arabian corpse shooting fucking apostates into a volcano? Right. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers.

I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this story comes from the Raw Story. Arizona pastor, women in yoga pants, partially responsible for rape, says a dude walking around wearing a shirt that says, you whore, and has a picture pointing outward. What the fuck? I just want to know how this guy doesn't get beat up every day. Yeah.

Yeah, no, and that's the thing. You know, one of the things that first came to my mind, though, Tom, is like, okay, if we're going to play that women are to blame for being raped, then you deserve a beating. You deserve to get beat up, you know, because of your asshole-ish actions, you get to get beaten into unconsciousness. You know, suddenly it's not so fucking great to blame the victim now, right?

If you can get attacked for your thoughts. You know, it's the same fucking thing. It's the exact same thing. Yeah, you know, and don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that he get beat up. I'm just honestly surprised that it hasn't happened because, I mean, it's such an offensive thing to say. It's like such a crazy thing to say. You know, like I can't imagine, you know, this guy wandering around on campus fucking yammer jammering about how and holding up a sign that says you deserve rape and shouting at women to give up your immodest clothing and saying that yoga pants, the greatest invention of the 20th century,

yoga pants. Yoga pants. Are sin. Yeah. And he said, you know, if you dress like it, you act like it, different things like that, you're asking for it. Therefore, you deserve rape. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. You know, this whole idea, I know we've talked about this and fucking beat this to death, but, you know, the only people who are responsible for rape are rapists, like, obviously. Like, that is the nature, that is actually definitionally true of the crime, right? Like, if the crime is that you are coerced or forced into sex then you simply cannot be responsible for something you were forced into doing it's definitional it's part of the thing yeah and and you know there's there's a ton of people that want to say that you know it's because of how you dress that you brought it on it's like well then saying like because i have an expensive car it's

the reason it got broken into it's like no that no, that, that, and even if it did, that's, that's still not on me. You know what I mean? That's not my fault. It's the fucking criminal's fault. What are we like? Well, let's get on the criminal side on this one. You know, like let's, let's really stand behind and fucking kumbaya behind the criminal. Like what the, what is, what is this fucking bizarro world, you weirdo?

Nobody does that. Nobody, nobody stands on the side of the road and being like, well, you shouldn't have lived in such a really nice place it wouldn't have gotten broken into you should have lived in a fucking cardboard box under whacker drive and you'll never get attacked it's like well you know what the fuck when i'm not allowed to fucking you know live in a place where i want to live i'm not allowed to dress how i want to dress suddenly it's the burglars uh you know it's at the burglars totally on the right for jumping through your fucking window and stealing all your stuff and lighting your fucking house on fire right no that's fucking not that's not the case and nobody's gonna stand with the burglar nobody's gonna stand with the

the thief who mugs me because i'm wearing an expensive suit and if you do you're an asshole you're an idiot you're somebody who really i think just has this over inflated sense of self-importance and you want to push your belief structures on other people. That's all you are. And I don't care about what the guy has to say. And like you said earlier, I don't want him to get beaten up. But clearly, if you're saying these things and you did get beaten up, would you stand up and say, OK, I guess I deserved it. I guess I deserve to get physically assaulted for my ideas because people didn't agree with them.

People didn't like them. It encouraged other people to punch me in the face. I've encouraged them. So therefore, I can't stand back against this. No, this guy got beaten up. You or I would be like, man, that's not something you do. Regardless, we would never blame this guy for being a victim in this case that's just not you just don't do that i can even stand behind this guy if he was a victim you just don't it's

just something you just avoid doing because it's the wrong thing to do look man what if the thing that turned me on was fucking trucker hats and aviator glasses and beards and a big shirt with a finger point at you. I'm going to fucking rape you, dude. Would he be responsible for it? Because I was like, look, man, sorry, man. You wore the fucking male equivalent of yoga pants. I don't know what to tell you, bro. I saw your fucking beard and I had to fuck your face. That's what I had to do. Exactly. That's the way it works, bro.

I'm sorry. You know what? What if somebody's turned on by like a giant frock? Right? What is it? Their fault still? It's such a fucking ridiculously offensive, fallacious argument. We'd like to thank the following people who became patrons this week.

Ayami, Ray G, Kitty Catorce, Tina S, Donovan, John 2. Your hard-earned dollars go a long way to help with the production of the show. Glory Hole. Got a ton of mail, so we want to burn through it as fast as we can. We do want to mention that we're on the cusp right now of doing six shows a month. We're almost to $350 per episode. And if we are, then we're going to start doing six. So if we get a few more patrons, we're going to start doing two extra episodes a month.

And those will be bonus shows. They may not be as long. They may have a little different format, but there will be extra content. We hope about two extra hours of content a month. We want to burn through some of these emails very quickly. We got an email from, this is from Mark. And he sent us a link to this, the weirdest story I think we've read in a long time. It's about this person who had like a berjillion bunnies in their house.

And she was terrified that the, that the, like some weird alien power was going to shoot lasers at them. So she stored some of them in her freezer. It's so fucking weird. It's so fucking weird. It's from the Colorado and, and, and, and, um, Coloradoan. And yeah, there were fucking dead bunnies between couch cushions packed into freezers. She had 111 alive rabbits. What?

In her house. They're all neutered, too. Hang on a minute. In her 697 square foot home. What, she used them as a rug? Like, why the fuck? Essentially, you have to walk? They're packed in, like, fucking airtight in there.

She said that after finding the rabbits in the home and garage, living among urine and feces, they put her on a three-day psychiatric hold, but they found her to be mentally healthy? What? And she says, I am a minister, I am a healer, and I am probably the most emotionally balanced person on the planet um but she has also said that she kept the rabbits healthy clean and

neutered for 18 years but in the past year and this is where shit went tits up for her technological attacks were so bad i did make the mistake of not neutering them to protect them. And that result was more rabbits because rabbits fuck like rabbits. In the attacks that she referenced, again, this is a woman that was declared not insane. A dark entity would send a ship that shot a red laser beam through the ceiling and at the bunny. Yep. The rabbit victims were placed in freezers for protection until they might later be revived. Let me know how that part goes.

Totally sane, though. Glad they took her off that three-day hold. Absolutely, yeah. You know, you got to be careful. So they were careful. They did their due diligence. That's somebody who doesn't need any intervention. None whatsoever.

We get a message from Matt. And Matt says he's the president of a rational society in Australia. We're going to put a link to your rational society. Dr. Meredith Doig, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, recently returned from Uganda with good things to say about the Kasi Humanist Primary School. He says they are teaching children without any added superstition, which is beyond amazing considering the religious bullshit currently going on in Uganda. Dr. Doig has been busily running the fundraising activities around Melbourne to help the school put bricks and mortar in place. Of their tin sheeting and hope uh and her efforts have inspired

me to to make some noise of my own so essentially uh this person is putting on a little show it's gonna be in in melbourne melbourne if you will as melbourne in at in big in books and that's at 197 lt what the fuck is that i don't know that's at 197LT. What the fuck is that? I don't know. That's not a real address. Lieutenant Lonsdale? What is that? I don't know.

That's not a real address. If you can find it, you can go. If you can find it, just Google Embiggen Books. We're actually going to put a link to this place, this Embiggen Books, their Facebook page, so you could find them easily. And there's going to be a little benefit. So go there. It's 25 seats. And Matt

looks like he wants to put on a little show to help him out. So go ahead and support down in Melbourne if you're in Melbourne. And also we'll put a link to the Rationalist Society of Australia as well. That sounds like a good cause. A lot of people have been sending us Steel Panthers song

Glory Hole. Man, that is certainly a song got a lot of glory holing going on so thanks everybody for sending it um you can find it steel panther name of the song's glory hole just do a google search for it and you'll find it it's not safe for work clearly uh like our show so just listen to it when you're listening to our show thanks damon for sending it I'm going to put a link to this next. This is from Nicholas. And Nicholas sent us a very cool, very funny, just a guy on TV. And now clearly they're filming.

It's a YouTube video of someone filming a television so they can get away with using someone else's copyrighted content here. So I'm going to link to it on our website. But it's this guy who is sort of just talking about how he's got this handkerchief. He grabs his handkerchief and clears this woman's back pain and he starts talking in tongues and he starts going, It's the best. He's like screaming. He sounds like when you put a lobster in the water and it like starts screeching

like the the shell starts making that sound like that's what it sounds like maybe that's what he's got going on in the background it's like a fucking lobster boil maybe that's it's awesome thanks for sending it it was hilarious i watched the whole thing it's very funny we got a message as another plug we're going to do this message is from uh cult comedy pictures this is george now george had been featured on the friendly atheist he sent us a uh a link to the friendly atheist blog where uh someone had filmed a uh someone had filmed a preacher and, I guess, somebody else who is arguing with him on the subway. And so there's a whole video there. It's four minutes, 39 seconds long.

We'll link to the article. Thank you for sending it in, George. And congratulations getting featured on Hemant's blog. That's really cool. It is. We got a message from Shan from New Zealand. Nice long message. You read it all. But at the bottom, we wanted to talk a little bit. We got a message from Shan from New Zealand. Nice long message. You read it all.

But at the bottom, we wanted to talk a little bit. There's a little piece, a question that Shan asks. Yeah, Shan asks if we would wonder if you guys would do any debates. He's gotten into irreligiosophy. He's wondering if you guys would do any debates. I know you're not atheist experience, but I sure would love to see you guys do some heated debates. It would be interesting and, of course, funny. That's not something Cecil and I do. You know, I think we've got a format

for this show that works poorly enough as it is. So, you know, changing up the format at this point, I don't think is something either of us have any real interest in doing. I also just think it's not, it's just not part of the program that we're trying to half-heartedly put together. It just doesn't fit the mold. I like debate. Cecil aggressively dislikes debate. I'm kind of not good at it. That's why I'm really pretty poor at it. When people start arguing, it takes me a long time to sort of process what people have to say. I'm much better on like a forum or something than I am on like actual in-person debate because I have an opportunity to think about it. I can't think very quickly on the fly as evidenced by this show. And I'm not any better at it. I just like it. And yeah, you're just aggressive. You're just an aggressive idiot. You know, the thing is like if I just limited myself to the things I'm good at, I would not be doing this. I'll tell you

that many things. Right. Not too many things at all. Zero things. We got to participate in a skit with Quranify Me, No Illusions, Adam Reeks from The Herd Mentality. And this skit was just recently published on the Quranify Me podcast. I'm going to link to the Quranify Me podcast. The episode that we appear on is called Allah Bowl 1. This is episode 17 of the Quranify Me podcast. So you can find the link on this episode, show notes, episode 150, and it'll take you there and you could listen to it in all its glory.

Finally, Tom, we got a message from David a couple of weeks ago asking if we could plug his show. I said, sure, if it's on iTunes, I'll happily give you a plug. And he said it is on iTunes. So he has a show called My Book of Mormon. And so David's show is dealing with the Mormon – is it a Mormon religion, Mormon sect? Mormon faith? Mormon cult?

Can't you just say faith because then you don't really have to mean anything? Yeah. You can say cult. Yeah, you can. So Mormon cult. David's dealing with that. So if you want to check out David's podcast, My Book of Mormon, I'll put a link to the iTunes on this episode 150. I think David was on the latest Herd Mentality with Adam Rieks as well as the host of the Quranify Me podcast, Paul. So you can listen to him there as

well. So if you're into the herd mentality, you probably have already heard of David. But if not, you can go check out his podcast by going to this episode's show notes. It is our great hope, Tom, to talk to Greta Christina tomorrow night. So the podcast will come out. We're not sure. Maybe if we get a few more patrons, the podcast may come out a little sooner than next week. But as it stands, if it doesn't come out sooner, it will be next Monday that you will be able to download the Greta Christina show. The second one that we've done, we're going to be talking about her brand new book, Coming Out Atheist. It's on Amazon right now. And we're excited to talk to her. She's a great guest and she's a really smart person. And we're super excited. It should be a really great time. And the book was an interesting read. So

if you have an opportunity, you know, I think it's actually a book that would make a really good gift for somebody who might be, you know, maybe, you know, somebody's an atheist and they haven't come out to their friends or family or, you or family. It's really a very practical guide to sort of help people navigate some of those trickier issues. So it's something worth checking out. Well, that wraps it up for this week's show. We're going to be back maybe next week, maybe sooner. Maybe. We'll see. With another show.

But until then, we're going to leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms

atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. conclusive. Doubt even this.

The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. We'll see you next time. you