Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 155: DNA-Anator 3000

Episode Date: June 2, 2014

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Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Hi guys, it's Charlene. I am a big fan of your show. I can't remember how I came to your show, but the important thing is that I'm here now, right? Okay, well, I just wanted to call and bring this up to you. What do you have in a world without Jesus? Pause for effect.

Well, you have Jesus. That's what you have. So I guess with that being said, we have to rewrite some of the old, old favorites, like One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus. Maybe Jesus Loves Me, This I Know. Or how about the I think of when I listen to the show. It's probably not even relevant, but just wanted to call with it anyway. Love your show. Keep doing what you do. Thanks, guys. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome, Matt. Hang on a minute, Cecil. All right. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I'm going to, I got to check my handy dandy new script that was written just for me. Matt did a great job on that. Good night, Tom. The next episode is number 155.

Bookmarked. Boom. Bookmarked. You know what you should do? You know how they have those frames where you put pictures of your kids and it cycles or whatever? You should just see if there's some way you could just have that constantly running on the wall of the studio. So every few minutes it just refreshes that would be awesome that would be you know what i should do is i should just get like a smart watch to communicate with my phone and i should get a separate phone

and plan just to run that script i think so that i think we're on to something at all times that seems like a great use of funds tom why don't you requisition let me put in a request for uh reimbursement with the corporate plan here hang on yeah yeah so it is episode 155 and matt sanders was kind enough to put together a script uh for uh that goes to our rss feed, which I should just do. And, and one, two on your own. But the thing is,

is like he is, he is essentially gotten out of shovel and buried that fucking joke. So that joke is now officially dead. Tom, you need to now find another joke that you can milk for 155. Well, here's the, here's the problem, Cecil. We may as well just cancel the show now.

Because as my wife will be the first to point out, I only have about three or four jokes, and I just recycle new material into them. So you're limiting my fucking vocabulary here. A long wakeable, a long wakeable. A long wakeable, a long wakeable, a long wakeable, wakeable. So the first story I want to cover, and by want to cover, I mean have to cover, and it is so awful. Yeah, it's bad bad it's real bad comes from nbc news um hell man family stones pakistani woman to death in honor killing outside of court a 25 year old woman

in lahore pakistan was stoned to death by her family her family man outside family that Family. Her fucking family, man. Outside. Family that stones together, stays together. I don't. She was. Here's the thing, man. She was going to court. Right. So she was going to court because she she rejected her family and put together an arranged marriage.

And she's like, no, I'd rather marry somebody that I love. So somehow in Pakistan, that means you have to go to court. What the fuck? Right. Like, so how did that what does that subpoena look like well you know her family here's the thing her family registered a kidnapping case against the person that she married so she her family engaged her to fucking fucking person a and she's like i like. So I'll marry person B. So her family's like, she's been kidnapped. And then she clearly, not being kidnapped, was going to court to be like, not so kidnapped.

And his fucking family beat her to death with bricks. Yep. It turned out, I think, it was a little more brutal than it needed to be. I think what they really intended to do with the bricks was build an oven and stuff her in it. But I think they were probably running late. And they just didn't have time for that so that's more of like you know it's more like one of those inconvenient sort of murders you know what i mean like where you kind of a like a brick beating out of necessity well because i mean tom it takes a long time to make a like a pizza oven fire that's

true you know what i mean like it takes a long time so i don't think that i think that they were rushed they were hurried. They probably had to catch a train. You've got wood-fired honor killings in Pakistan? You've got a nice... They have smoky goodness. They're just full of smoky goodness. Oh, man.

It's necessary to get the really solid crust on the people you murder. I will say that I have to admit that i was a little bit impressed you know a lesser society would have used stones but clearly they're moving out of the stone age and into the brick age the brick age so they've up one day they'll get into the bronze age i mean if you're gonna be of if you're gonna be basically a fucking chimpanzee One day they'll get into the Bronze Age. I mean, if you're going to be basically a fucking chimpanzee. Right. If you're just going to fucking...

Because, you know, what I think about this, I think about the fucking nature videos I've seen. Where chimps just grab sticks and throw them at leopards and shit. They're just like... And they just throw whatever is within reach. It's like a cacophony of sound as they all just screech and wail and then they grab things like they're all zoidberg you know it's but seriously it's like it's the same thing it's like just hurl shit at what you're afraid of just hurl shit at whatever makes you feel like nervous right that's it's the same thing. It's like just hurl shit at what you're afraid of. Just hurl shit at whatever makes you feel nervous.

Right. That's the fucking solution to the problem. In this case, what makes them nervous is like a slightly empowered woman. Like, fuck, slightly empowered woman. Quick, cask of Amontillado her. No problem. The problem, of course, with this is that it's an honor killing, right? So we're not talking about something that is not religion based we're not talking about

something that isn't steeped in you know thousands of years of culture that is backwards and clearly evil right this is a moral wrong to to i mean the very fact that you're going to that you need to kill someone because they were dishonorable it's 2014 here as well as there it's not like you know like well we kind of think it's like 600 AD so you know we kind

of do and we make sure we don't have they have zippers a lot of these people have zippers they have chain links they have chain link fence Zippers as far as the eye can see. They have chain link fence, clearly. You know what I mean? So they probably made that in a factory somewhere. They're wearing, you know, they're wearing, you have all the trappings of a modern society

except for the morality. Including, I would mention, nuclear weapons. Right. Yeah. No, I mean, clearly. Pakistan is a nuclear arm nation. Yeah, absolutely. You have all the trappings of a completely modern society. Guy's a clipboard. Like guy's

a clipboard and a name tag. Front center here. Yeah. I mean, that's it. That's it. You fucking you have made it to modern society if you have a clipboard and a goddamn name tag. And there's no dude. It's the khaki pants. the clue. He's kind of rocking that. Look at this. That man is wearing khaki pants. He's got a belly like an American. He does. I mean, clearly. You've made it. It's not like you're some sort of backwards people. The only thing that's different is

the people that did this, not saying all the people in Pakistan are all, not saying that. I'm just saying the people that did this, they are backwards. They have a morality that is years out of date. And when I say years, I mean centuries out of date, right?

But, you know, let's not pretend that this is an isolated incident either, because according to this article, around a thousand Pakistani women are killed every year by their families in honor killings. The true figure is probably many times higher since the foundation that compiled the figures only use newspaper reports. The government does not even compile national statistics on this. So it's a it's at least a thousand. Right. But but according to this, it is very likely that it is many times one thousand so we're talking about multiple times a day on average somebody is being murdered in an honor killing um in pakistan alone by usually by fucking family members man you know

what you know what like fucking drives me crazy about this is members man you know what you know what fucking drives me crazy about this is that like you know how many people get their fucking balls up around their ears because they're still bullfighting you know what i mean like they were like right i know they're still but they still stab bulls and i'm like yeah that's fucking awful they're killing thousands of women in pakistan right right thousands fucking a man i say stop and think about that fucking thousands of people are being murdered by their own families. Can you imagine something you would murder a family member for? I mean, Cecil, you wouldn't murder a non-family member.

I recognize that. But like, seriously, like the idea that you're like, man, I am so disappointed in you, honey. Whack with a brick inside the head. I'm going to kill you with a fucking brick. Very little. Like maybe she finished off the chocolate ice cream. I think maybe that would be. That shit.

That's fucking serious. Let's stop fucking around now. She ate the last pancake. You know what's awful? That's a depressing and weird segue into our next story. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black cock. This story comes from the Patheos blog's progressive secular humanist.

Angry Muslims declare jihad on Cadbury chocolates. Fucking what? Of all the, like you were saying, like, like, is it like an absurdity? Like people are like worried that they're still killing bulls and bullfights. These fucking people are worried about Cadbury cream eggs. Right. worried about Cadbury cream eggs, right? So in Malaysia, Malaysian Muslims are calling for a holy war against the confectionary giant Cadbury after pork DNA was found in some of its delicious, delicious products.

What, was somebody, like, eating a fucking Cadbury bar in the CSI office and they accidentally dropped some? Because when the fuck are you just like, you know, I'm kind of looking around the house for things I could test DNA on. I got this old, you know, jizz-filled hanky I could send in or, you know, this big chunk of fucking chocolate. Like, why are they testing that? You know, it's funny that you say that because my thought when I was reading this was like,

well, this is a high technology meets low technology proposition, right? It truly is. It's awesome. Like, you're just like randomly like, does it have any pork DNA in it? I don't know. Did we test it? It's an apple. No, put it in the thing.

But what's the next food we have? Like somebody, they're just in a lab with their fucking DNA testinator, like the fucking tester 3000. It's like a ray gun. They're just testing their lunch. That's exactly what they're doing. They're just like, they're in the lab. It's the first time they got it. Put your lunch in it.

No, no, no. What are we... Come on. Put your lunch in it. The boss isn't looking. He'll never know. And then when they find out it's pork DNA, it's like, fucking let's riot now. Let's get fucking real. We need a jihad against chocolate clearly clearly i think what's happening here and i don't know what why they

they actually did do this but what they did they have done this with fish in the united states so i think maybe they were just looking for you know like part of me thinks they're looking for some reason to be upset right because if you're going out of your way to find out what's in there, I did find out why there would be pork traces. I actually did look that up because somebody had asked on our Facebook page, like, why, like, as just a, like, she's like, just as a vegetarian, this is kind of fucking really alarming.

Why would there be pork in there? And I was like thinking to myself, like, I don't know why there would be pork. So I went and looked and some of the, some of the stuff for like packaging,, so the packaging that they use, they have to, when they put glue and shit on stuff, sometimes they have to use edible glue because you're using it around food. Because it's food safe.

Yeah, they use a food safe glue. Some of it is pork. So some of it happens. That's what they suspected in the news article. But there could be a bunch of reasons why. know tainted like food contamination is a big thing one of the one of the ingredients in that chocolate could have been tainted by you know mingling with something else cross contamination is a huge deal when you create food um one thing i did want to mention though the reason why they think this is such a big deal and the reasons why they're so freaked out about this i'm going to read directly from the article uh the president ustad mazarati

mazarati i'm going to say i don't that's totally wrong but i don't that's awesome claimed most of social ills and apostasy apostasy cases in the country involving muslims stems from the consuming food which was not halal he went on to proclaim uh because the person eats pork it is difficult to guide him on the right path uh when the day of judgment comes the person will be wearing a pig face because of what he has eaten and and the first thing that occurred to me is like hasn't newt gingrich been wearing one of those for years like has it and he's been wearing a pig face i mean since i've been in since i've been a young man newt gingingrich been wearing one of those for years? Like, has it? Has he been wearing a pig face? I mean, since I've been a young man,

Newt Gingrich has been wearing a pig face, I think. It's true. Well, you know, when he first entered politics, he was debating whether it were blackface or pig face. And he chose... I think he chose wisely, actually. So I love the idea that, like, the fucking judgment comes. judgment comes like, oh, man, I'm going to fucking finally I'm going to line up and I'm going to get my fucking requisite number of virgins. I don't know.

And then you're like showing up and it was like, Jim, you got a little something on your face there. Like, hold on, hold on. Let me just, and then like, like your buddy, like licks his thumb. No, it's not coming off. Your nose is still kind of turned up a little. Yeah, you still got, you know, you still got an oink. It's like that Twilight Zone where everybody's pig faced except for that one normal woman. And he's like, ah, running around like, ah.

You know, if you can't trust Cadbury, who can you trust? You know, a Malay woman, I think she made the most cogent points about this when she shouted hysterically, Will Cadbury wash away the tainted blood in our veins? I want to wash away the tainted blood of my children who have consumed the chocolates. How will money even compensate that? And to her I say, it's

molecules of chocolate. It's molecules of pork. You had to find it with a DNA testinator 3000. It's not like you were rubbing bacon fat over yourself in the shower. It's not like a shredded pork sandwich with two chocolate bars is the bun. You know what I mean?

Wouldn't that be awesome? Like you open a Cadbury. I kind of think that's pulled pork. I kind of think that's actually something I'm going to try next week. This next story comes from Kentucky.com. And I was amazed that Kentucky had a.com. It looks like it's spelled correctly, too. I think even Kentucky.

You know, the nice thing is they finally got one website out of Kentucky. Finally got one website. They're like, yeah, guys, look, we have our website. What should we call it? Kentucky.com. Can you name a city in Kentucky? Lexington. Lexington.

That's a city in Kentucky. Yeah, because it's at the top here. I'm trying to think. Louisville, is that in Kentucky? Yeah, Louisville's in Kentucky. Yeah, I've been there. Oh, so you've been to Kentucky. See, I've only been there like one time, so I can't name any...

I can't even name cities. I've gone camping in Kentucky. On purpose? Yeah, on two separate occasions. It turned out terribly. Terribly. You know why, Tom? It was Kentucky. You were in Kentucky. I know. I know, man. But you know, truly,

I've camped in Tennessee and I've camped in the Carolinas. You know, it's all in the same general area. And Kentucky was by far the worst experience of all of them, by far. The national parks are very nice, but the state parks in Kentucky are, they were just, at least the one we stayed in, it was fucking horrible. They were fucking sprayed with graffiti. They had fucking litter everywhere. They were poorly maintained.

There's fucking Kentucky people everywhere. It was disgusting. Was there a lot of snakes? No, there was not a lot of snakes. Had there been... Thanks for the segue. You're welcome. That's what you're tired of listening to my fucking story.

I'm here for. I'm here for you, man. I'm here for you. Months after Snake handling Preacher's death, tired of listening to my fucking story. I'm here for I'm here for you, man. I'm here for you. We'll get right to this. Months after Snake handling Preacher's death, his son recovering from snakebite. So you guys might remember when Cody Coots

and I'm not making that up of the Kentucky Cootses. Wouldn't they be the Kentucky Cooters? I don't. The Cooters. Cooters. Wasn't that a guy on the fucking Dukes of Hazzard? Cooter?

Wasn't that his name? Oh, fucking hell, it was. I think it was. There's like Boss Hog. There's a Cooter. Yeah, Cooter was his name. A Duke, a Bo, a Daisy. Fucking there was a Daisy for sure.

Yeah, there was. Hey, hey, in my mind, there still is. There still is. But there was a daisy for sure yeah there was hey hey in my mind there still is but there was a cooter maybe he was like a tow truck driver i'm thinking i don't know did he have they all had overalls so anyway so three months ago uh cody cooter whatever stop talking about other things that have to do with the south what are you supposed to even say i don't know what are you even supposed to say so cody cooter's pop uh jamie cooter or coots or fucking what i don't know let's just call him cooter call him cooter some hillbilly uh died within minutes of being bitten by a rattlesnake during a service. That's never happened in the history of mankind.

How could they have foreseen such a thing? My favorite is that it's a rattlesnake. It's the only snake that tells you, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off. It's not like the guy was handling a chipmunk, right? It's not like he was handling a naturally friendly animal. He's handling a goddamn reptile that can kill you and he gets killed by it right it's but it's like it's seriously it's the only snake that has a fucking warning sign built into its body to be like just in case you're clinically stupid i have a fucking... Like, are you blind?

Dummy. Because if you're blind, I'll still try to help you. Dummy. Dummy. Dummy. That snake, it gives you fucking every opportunity not to get bitten by it. Right. Absolutely. Yeah.

You know. So I guess if you show up to church and you fucking juggle these snakes for a while. Right. One of them is bound to bite you. Right. these snakes for a while. One of them is bound to bite you. This good old boy's dad got killed by a snake in a freak accident wherein he was handling snakes. And what happened to this dipshit? Well, he fucking got bit by a fucking six foot long rattlesnake.

Bit him in the hand. Shock of all shocks. And his first thought, all I could think about, am I going to make it? Oh. And I'm thinking, eh, who cares? Eh. There's no loss here. Do people feel loss when somebody does, like, extreme sports, like jumps off one of those fucking wingsuit guys?

You know, if one of those wingsuit guys bites it, is anybody surprised? Is anybody like, whoa, man, we didn't see that one coming. Yeah, right? You know, you're just thinking you're like when somebody base jumps off a building and they splat on a fucking concrete. You're just like, man, you know, he's so young. He's just like so young and vital. And we just did not expect him to, you know, have his fucking brain shoot through his ass when he fucking landed on the concrete. The same thing applies to these fucking idiots who handle snakes.

I just I can't muster up a fuck for them. I can't even do it. You know, man, it's like the guy who like went out to go snuggle with grizzly bears or whatever, you know. And it's like, yeah, I went out to go fucking French kiss a grizzly bear. And it's like, hey went out to go fucking french kiss a grizzly bear and it's like hey how's that story end we got eaten by a grizzly bear you know snuggle loves you snuggle bear loves you so much you could fit in my tummy in pieces it's like fucking he's like one of those rainbow bears or whatever the fuck those things were that

shoot the shit out. Yeah, the rainbow. What are they called? Care bears. Oh yeah, and they shoot fucking magic shit out of their belly like Skittles or whatever. Or the stuff that comes out of their belly is digested humans.

It's just corpses. Oh my god, there should be corpse bears. They're just like, Or the stuff that comes out of their belly is digested humans. Just corpses? Oh, my God. There should be corpse bears. They're just like, ah. They're like, and we're going to use them. They just do the, hey, Care Bears, go, or whatever. And it's just human parts just shooting out of their stomach and a sprinkler of gore across a room. This would be awesome.

And instead of differentiating like i'm rainbow bear i'm fucking shamrock bear i'd be like i only eat the water like the corpse bear should be like i only eat children i'm the tears of the innocent bear so we're gonna take a break give you some information on how you can support us on Patreon. We'll return and ruin the rest of the show in just a moment. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com.

Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. R-E-O-N dot com forward slash DissonancePod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis.

If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Family Research Council spokesman links Isla Vista shooting spree to gay marriage. That didn't take long.

So Family Research Council senior fellow Ken Blackwell yesterday linked the Isla Vista mass killings to marriage equality laws, which he claimed are destroying the culture. Wow. Yeah. So what did that take? That took, you know, a week, less than a week. A couple of minutes. Yeah.

Like four minutes. I mean, there you go. So that's that's it. That's it. He's blaming the shooting on the crumbling of the moral foundation of the country. I wonder what he blames all the other shootings on. Well, probably on the same thing, because it's all crumbling. I mean, come on. Let's listen to what he has to say, because he's got about a minute and 42 seconds. This is

this dummy talking, Ken Blackwell's talking, and this is courtesy of Right Wing Watch. Ken, I think it's more than the instruments being used. I think it's something fundamentally, deeply flawed. Did he say flawed?

He did say flawed. It's something deeply, deeply flawed. Ken, I think it's more than the instruments being used. I think it's something fundamentally, deeply flawed in our culture when people can kill and have no remorse. Oh, absolutely. So when you see the crumbling of the moral foundation of the country, you see the attack on natural marriage and the family that has been a part of the, not only the. Was somebody making dishes there?

I thought that was you. I'm making a sandwich. I was sitting here like, what is Cecil doing? He's got the mayonnaise jar out. He's opened up the mayonnaise. He pulls his cutting board out to slice his bread. He pulled out like the toaster oven and that's the door in the background. That presumes this guy would make his own sandwich.

That's true. This is clearly a man who has the ladies make the sandwiches for him. Either that or he dropped like, I don't know, like he dropped his fucking bowling ball. I mean, what the fuck was that? Oh, no. Let's listen to it again. Hey, I'd like to have you on the show. Can you make as much? Oh, no. Let's listen to it again. Hey, I'd like to have you on the show. Can you make as much noise as possible? I want to listen to it again. Hold on.

Here we go. You see the attack on the... on natural marriage and the family that has been a part of the... You know what it is, Tom? It's the start of his Rube Goldberg a part of me. Not only them.

You know what it is, Tom? It's the start of his Rube Goldberg machine going. So like the bowling balls rolled down and hit the bird cage and the bird has flown out. And it's like pecking on the bird seed that's going to pull off

the curtains from the wall and that's going to turn on the solar cell that's going to spin the thing around. Oh, he wouldn't use solar. No, that's true. There's no way he'd use it. I just figured it was the stupid that was damaging the structural integrity of the house around him. No, you know what's happening is the moral foundation's crumbling. That's what we're hearing.

Oh, that's fucking it? That's loud. It's like a house settling. It's like EDP. Yeah, there you go. You can only hear it when you turn it all the way up. And you hear that tape hiss. All right, so here's more of it.

You see the attack on natural marriage and the family that has been a part of the, not only the moral foundation and the upbringing of our children, but the teaching of sexual roles and the development of human sexuality in our culture. When these fundamental institutions are attacked and destroyed and weakened and abandoned, you get what we are now seeing, and that is a flood of these disturbed people in our society that are causing great, great pain. And as opposed to dealing with the foundational problems, great pain. And as opposed to dealing with the foundational problems, we look for ways of blaming the Second Amendment or blaming knives or blaming cars when they are used. But at the end

of the day, you have just underscored the problem. This is a convenient way of avoiding talking about what the root cause. Because it's an uncomfortable conversation to have. It's especially uncomfortable when you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Do you think they believe that? Do you think he believes what he's saying? I don't know. I mean, I can't tell, Tom. What do you think?

I have a hard time. I really do. I have a hard time believing that he thinks this is true. I think that he's just, you know, maybe this is the incredibly cynical part of me, but, you know, wait a minute. Wait. The incredibly cynical part of you is the all of you. That's true. That's the

all of the pieces and there's a lot of me right yeah i know yeah yeah so if the butter your sides to get into the door of the glory hole studios i should just take the doors right off their hinges at this point just like take out a wall just i need the extra three inches trust me i had a big lunch so but you know like i listen to this and it's like man there, there's no way you believe this. You're just using whatever you can use. You know, part of me thinks that they actually take great joy when these sorts of things happen because it gives them a fucking talking point for their favorite subject. The only talk, like, you know, because he keeps, he says several times in the conversation, he says several times like, yeah, well, you know, it's's not the second amendment it's not the instruments that are used it's not the gun so he's basically

saying like let's not have that conversation let's fucking skirt that issue right away and let's get right back to my favorite issue which is the gays right and family and you know the thing is you're just gluing shit on at that point because there's there's hasn't been any talk about gay right well i mean the guy fucking i mean like again we don't want to spend a lot of time talking about the the killing but the guy fucking was really clear about what he was doing and why he was fucking doing it and he wasn't doing it because of the fucking gays like he wasn't doing it because of the fucking gays. Like, he wasn't doing it because somebody was gay.

Like, there was no mention of that whatsoever. Like, that is not, didn't even fucking remotely, we don't have to, we don't have to stop with this one and scratch our fucking noodle and say, like, I wonder why that happened. Like, the guy fucking was really fucking abundantly clear

about what he was doing and why he was doing it. And and you're just going to decide it was for something else. You just like, but I'd like to talk about gays. So, I mean, you're just you're just you're just taking the thing of the day. And it doesn't matter what it is. Doesn't matter what it is. is it could be a storm that kills a bunch of people a tornado in fucking oklahoma a flood in some faraway land an oil pipe that breaks on the bottom of the ocean uh occupy protests that happen in new york um it could be a shooting it can be uh you know it can be the fucking

shutdown of the government it doesn't matter because you can tie gaze to any of that if you really want to right you could just be like god hates us because of gays and this is the fucking punishment or the government shutting down because we totally understand we're just giving up as a country or whatever i mean it's fucking easy to glue that shit together when you know that your audience isn't thinking right well why don't they blame divorce you know like if they're if they're fucking if their dick is so hard to fuck the traditional family. Right. Like if that's the thing that they're like, oh, I fucking love the traditional family so much. And anything that's not the traditional family is fucking anathema. Why are they not as hard on divorce as they are on this issue, as they are on the issue of homosexuality? Because they can get divorced. They probably won't have to be homosexual.

Exactly. Right. Because they don't want to get because they want to leave their fucking options open. Sure. That's that's the fucking thing of it. Because, like, if you're if you're really going to say, like, well, you know, I believe in traditional family. And I think that once people are fucking married, they're married. And once they're married in the eyes of God, that's fucking it. And, you know, fucking Jesus

has some shit to say about divorce, actually. So that's fucking even New Testament relevant. Oh, well, let's conveniently forget that. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery.

So Cecil, this next story comes from Seattle Times. I wish it was from the pie. State's Medicaid program now covers naturopaths. So if you are on Medicaid in Seattle or in Washington State, rather, and you want to go to a not doctor doctor, you can waste the state's money and piss away your taxpayer dollars there. You've got options. And isn't that what's really important, Cecil? What is it?

What's a naturopath anyway, Tom? So Wikipedia defines naturopathy or naturopathic medicine. It's a form of alternative medicine based on a belief in vitalism. What? Vitalism. What is that? Vitalism. What is that?

Which posits that a special energy called vital energy or vital force guides bodily processes such as metabolism, reproduction, growth, and adaptation. Oh, I just don't have enough vital parts in me. That's why my vasectomy

makes it so my wife doesn't get pregnant. Right. Right. Right. The fucking vital parts. They did. They cut out a vital part. The vas deferens. They took out their vitals.

The vas deferens is a fucking vital part of me. Dude, that's why they're called vital organs. Yeah. You know, because they're full of your vital energy. You're right in the vitals. Yeah. Naturopathy favors a holistic approach with non-invasive treatment and generally avoids the use of surgery and drugs. I'm guessing unless you really need surgery.

Practitioner. I'm going to get a naturopathic liver transplant. Yeah. They just lay the liver on you and hope. And it's like a beef liver. It's not even like a fucking real liver. It's like they just go to the store to jewel, and they get themselves a fucking beef liver, and they're just like, hold on to it for a while and see if that works.

It's bound. Well, to be fair, though, they do take a Crayola marker and write Vital on it. They have the butcher write it right on the package on the outside. No, it's right on the package on the outside no it's right on the fucking liver oh yeah just write it right on the liver it's actually hard stuff to write on the good stuff but you dry them out first yeah um i love i love things i love fucking treatments that avoid the use of surgery and drugs i'm sure they avoid the use of like insulin right i'm sure that that's what they they're like ah we're just going to avoid the use of insulin and by that we mean diabetic coma anyway practitioners of naturopathy

uh also known as fronsters often prefer methods of treatment i may have ad libbed you i think you added that yeah i was a little editorializing uh Often prefer methods of treatment that are not compatible with evidence-based medicine. Not compatible, huh? And in doing so, reject the tenets of biomedicine and modern science. Well. Naturopathic medicine is replete with pseudoscientific, ineffective, unethical, and possibly dangerous practices. Fucking awesome. We had somebody, I want to read three comments from

our Facebook page from today. I always wonder, Cecil, how this happens. I don't know. Did you think this would be the forum where this would work for you? Well, I mean, clearly, here's the thing. I don't fucking argue with people

on Facebook because I don't care enough to spend the hour it takes to fucking argue with them because I just don't care. Right. So here's what they said. This is Jennifer. She says, this is a good thing. If you think Western medical doctors are better than naturopaths, you are wrong. OK. There you go.

Thanks for pointing that out. Someone on the Internet said it. Yeah, I will point out that it says it's not compatible with evidence-based medicine, and they rejected the tenets of biomedicine and modern science. So I'm going to go with, I doubt your claim. And then this one, she says, the Western medical industry is a huge conspiracy. Naturopaths were the first doctors. Wake up.

What does that even mean, the first doctors? Like they were the ones that climbed out of the ocean? Like they were the ones that... They were involved first? You know, they were like the caveman doctors because everybody knows that if you really want to look at the picture of health, look back to when people lived until they were 27. If you want to look at the picture of health, you've got to roll back time to the four humors. That's where you've got to roll back time to. And then she says.

Oh, hang on, Cecil. I had a cold. I forgot to tell you before we started the show. I've got a little bit of a cold. Now, you can't tell in my voice. That's because I've been bleeding it out of me. Oh, you know what? I think your bile is probably out of cold. Now, you can't tell in my voice. That's because I've been bleeding it out of me. Oh, you know what? I think your bile's probably out of line.

It's probably the case. You've got to get your bile back to the regular bile levels for your four humors to be in. That's why I've got this big glass of bile I've been drinking. You know, look, you do what you've got to do, I think. I don't even know what the other one is. It's like phlegm or something, isn't it? Yeah, it's phlegm. It's like phlegm and phlegm. It's all them's like yeah it's like phlegm and like like it's all the gross shit it's like it is right it's gross it's

like pus is like whatever yeah it's like thanks you're grossing me out you know they used to think i i remember uh they reading something that uh pus was considered good for wounds like they would they would encourage pus because they thought it was like the infection, not infection, they didn't understand. It was like the evil fucking shit like your body rejecting it and cleaning it out. Here's the thing. I just looked it up.

It is phlegm. It's blood. It's not pus. It's fucking yellow bile and black bile. Oh my fucking god. What? That's your humors. I know that's not nat. It's fucking yellow bile and black bile. Oh, my fucking God. What? That's your humors. I know that's not naturopathy.

We're conflating the two. We shouldn't be doing it, but it's just funny to think. You know, because it's like on the same level. It's just fucking, it's garbage. It's garbage. It doesn't make any sense. And then finally she says, Western medical doctors are the third. And it's kind of a poem i'm gonna read

it like a poem because the way it's written there's enters here western medical doctors are the third leading cause of death in the united states wake up people and i looked it up and it's actually like heart disease and like copPD and then like something else. Yeah. It's not, none of them say Western medicine. Like when you walk in, like the doctor like has a,

he has, he's like fucking two face. He flips a coin and he kills you or he doesn't. Yeah. Well, you know, and I've heard that claim. I, I,

I've heard that claim. Cause I used to, I used to know a whole bunch of people in like the natural medicine circles and they would fucking say that shit all the time like you know it's you know it's it's those prescription drugs and they you know they they prescribe the wrong ones the wrong doses or you know the they misdiagnose and it's you know people are dying by the hundreds of thousands and it's just like really because i don't I've never heard of that even one fucking time. Like, it's just, if it was that fucking prevalent, it would just be constant. There would be a constant barrage of fucking dead people littering the fucking sidewalks after taking their fucking Zoloft or whatever.

Right, right. And that's just not the case. We live longer. We do better. And I love places that fucking avoid surgery right like oh yeah well we're gonna we're gonna try the non-surgical methods like great so you're basically gonna stall surgery because if you need surgery for something it's very unlikely that later you didn't need surgery for that or that you ate a lot of kale

and then now you don't need surgery, right? That's never happened in the history of mankind. I juiced a bunch of kale and cancer's gone. Just gone. And what is this medical program that's going to cover this stuff? It's covering bullshit. Like, it's covering bullshit. And don't send us your mail and be like, well, I went to a naturopath and

my placebo effect worked, so now I feel better. Great. Good for you. But that's not a fucking medicine, man. That's not a medicine. So don't send us your mail and be like, you know, you guys are a little harsh on that. Yeah, because it's not fucking real. That's why we're harsh on it. Just rub a crystal on it. Might as well

fucking get an orgone generator, because it's the same fucking thing. Lord, why we're harsh on it. Just rub a crystal on it. Might as well fucking get an orgone generator because it's the same fucking thing. Lord, we just ask to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. This story comes from the raw story. Florida... Fuck.

Florida woman accused of killing two-year-old while reenacting Bible story. That's kind of what it sounds like. Florida woman is accused of killing two-year-old while reenacting Bible story. That's kind of what it sounds like. Florida woman is accused of drowning one child after trying to poison another in what she described as being in accordance with a local pastor's sermon. So a local pastor was evidently relaying the story of Abraham and extolling the virtues of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son,

you know, in that stupid-ass fucking story of shit that didn't happen. I mean, obviously she's disturbed, but she also seemed genuinely kind of shocked in her suicide note that God didn't stop her from committing these heinous acts. And it's like, I read this and I think like, well, this is why we shouldn't be glorifying this stupid fucking book of made up stories. The very fact is that it's a horrible fucking story. It's a fucking shitty, terrible, awful fucking story that, you know, in my opinion,

proves, you know, that the image of your God is a sadist. That's not, that's, it's nothing but. It's not about redemption. It's not about, you know, how much God loves you. God wants to show you how much he loves you, et cetera, et cetera. It's a sadist, it's a sadistic story. It's a, because if you've ever loved anything, and I've had to put down cats, right? So that's like different, clearly different than any kind of human, but I've had to put down cats, right? So that's like different, clearly different than any kind of human, but I've had to put down cats and had to make that judgment call when they were, you know, really ill. It's a fucking heart rending decision to even do that to something that isn't going to live. I could not imagine having to do that to an animal that I know is healthy, right? That I know is fine, that I know is going to live many more years, but instead I,

I feel like I need to kill. I couldn't imagine what I would go through. Now put yourself in that position because it's your son. I've got to kill this child. It's a horrible fucking story. There's no redeeming that story. Um, I know that, you know, there's even philosophers like Kicker guard goes through all this big, long shit about how he's like, it's an existential crisis for him. Cause he's trying to fucking figure it out. It's like, you can't figure that out. It's just fucking sadistic. That's all there is to it. And the fact of the matter is, is that when you put shit out there like this, and this is something that you're celebrating, that you're saying is a virtue. How do you not expect people in your church that are a little fucking, you know, several fucking cards short of a deck not to fucking think it's a virtue if you say it's a virtue?

Yeah, man. Slavish authority to or deference to authority. Wow, man, that's definitely something we should have. Like we should have more of that. We should definitely have as much of that. In fact, we should be willing at all times to look the people we love the most in the eye and say But I'll tell you what, if the fucking voices in my head scream loud enough, I'll fucking murder you. And I'll consider that a moral act. I'll consider that an ethical good because I consider slavish obedience to authority to be a virtue. You know, it's so funny. It's like that. How many can how many conservative I mean, you know, conservatives on the whole, a lot of them like the bottom. Now, I know that there's a couple of strange anomalies out there, but for the most part, conservatives are really Bible toting.

Isn't this a perfect example of big government? It is altogether right to discriminate against homosexual behavior. discriminate against homosexual behavior. I'm arguing that it's time that we as conservatives, that we rehabilitate the word discriminate, that we reclaim it, that we dust it off, and that we use it, and that we use it unapologetically. And I believe we need to begin to say, look, it is altogether right for a rational culture to discriminate against homosexual behavior this story comes from right wing watch american family association don't open letters with the harvey milk stamp you'll become gay you know that what happens it's the thing is that you have to lick the stamp and so by licking the back of harvey milk face, you're basically sucking his cock. Yeah, but if you lick two of them, then you're straight.

It cancels itself out. You just got to make sure you stay with even numbers, and that's it. It's just always like... That's what I told myself in college, anyway. It was like, if I suck two dicks, then I'm going to be fine. That's fine. That's fine. I'm still straight.

You're like, one, two, three. No, we're going to need a fourth. We're going to need a dick. Who else wants a dick sucked? Come on. Come on. Look, guys. Guys.

I have to suck all your dicks or I'm gay. So, come on. Line it up. Line it up. I'm not sucking three dicks. What do you think I am? I'm homosexual? Come on.

I need a buddy. Just go down to the corner. Get a homeless guy. Give him a mad dog. Tell Homosexual? Come on. I need a buddy. Just go down to the corner. Get a homeless guy. Give him a mad dog. Tell him to come up here. I need a fourth dick. Literally anybody's dick. Literally any dick will do. I don't

care. I just don't want to be gay. Oh my God. I'm not gay. I'm just sucking a lot of dicks. Wow. This is going off the rails. I'm just trying to get this just sucking a lot of dick. Wow, this is going off the rails. I'm just trying to get this dick sucking out of my system. So the American Family of Associations is urging its members to avoid purchasing the stamps. Saying they should go get America flag ones.

I like that it's not just like, get the Spider-Man one. It's like, no. Get the Spider-Man one. The Spider-Man one. It's like, no. Get the Spider-Man one. The Spider-Man one is red, white, and blue, too. That's true. But it's black. The lines in his thing are black. I guess there is black in there, too.

But it's refuse to accept mail at your home or business if it's pokesmarked with a Harvey Milk stamp. Could you imagine the face of your mail carrier? I'm sorry, I can't accept that. Could you just imagine the fucking sort of like half skull, half like, are you fucking kidding me face?

That is the best way to make sure that your mailman throws away your mail. If you want, your mail dropped in every sl mail. Like, if you want your mail dropped in every slosh puddle from now until the end of time, make sure to put return to sender on all of your fucking Harvey's Milk

mail. Like, if you want to make sure that the Chromecast you just ordered from Amazon gets hurled at your door and arrives in as many fucking possible pieces. Make sure to just tell your mailman, no, no, no. Keep walking with that. Yeah, they like crash the drone into your house.

Like it's like one of those drone deliveries that just crashes right into your roof. I mean, like you're just going to miss out on your own mail. Right. Like nobody else. That's the thing that makes me laugh. gonna miss out on your own mail right like nobody else that's the thing that makes me laugh like it's not like it's not like all of a sudden like harvey milk's gonna be like rolling in his grave like they won't take my stamp so now i'm retroactively alive and heterosexual like that's not gonna happen all that happens is you didn't get your mail and maybe it was important there's

a scene from uh goodfellas where one of the women, the main woman character is saying, she's explaining what would happen when other people would come, how they dealt with the police. And she says something like, and this one woman, she would yell and curse at the FBI when they came to raid her house all the time. And she would spit on her floor. She'd spit on her own floor, she says. This is exactly what I think. It's like, you'd send back your own mail just because you're so upset that the Harvey...

You know, the thing is, is like, they still collected the money for the stamp. It's not like you sent the mail back. It's like, oh, geez, man, fucking now we have to return the money for this stamp. You know, the other thing, too, is like these are stamps people buy. Like these aren't stamps by and large. Like businesses don't buy.

I don't think so. It'd feel weird if my Comcast bill came with a Harvey Milk stamp on it. That's what I mean. So like businesses usually have like the postmarky thing in the side. Like, in our company, we have, like, machines, like the Pitney Bowes machines. Like, put the fucking stamp on. It's just a fucking stamp. So, like, you don't, like, hire people to do that?

Like, fill envelopes for you? Lick the stamps? No, they all turn gay. That's the problem. Then they have gay. That's the problem. Then they run out screaming, I'm gay! And then our moral foundation crumbles and the building's fucked. That's terrible run out screaming, I'm gay! And then our moral foundation

crumbles and the building's fucked. That's terrible for your building, I hear. So all you're doing, too, is you're turning away personal mail. And then the other thing I think is who's sending a bigot a letter with a Harvey Milk stamp? I would. Because you know who the bigots in your family are? Yeah, hilarious.

I would do that, too. That is fucking hilarious. I would fucking coat the entire envelope so they wouldn't be able to touch it to write Return to Sender on it. They would just be stuck. I mean, it would cost me like $75, but it'd be so worth it. There's like no way to handle it without

touching Harvey Milk. Like, you just don't matter. It's like, you get your mail, you're like, I have to touch Harvey Milk. I have to touch. And then when they open it up,, you're like, I have to touch Harvey Milk. I have to touch. And then when they open it up, it's just a letter that says you touched Harvey Milk! You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers! I want the truth!

You can't handle the truth! This story comes to the New York Post. A man charged with killing his wife after she made him the wrong dinner. Wait, hold on a second. Wait. Your wife can make you dinner? What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, if my wife made me dinners, it would be Lunchables. And after the 30 or 40 of those things, they just become cost prohibitive. You know, that's the problem. A little chalky in your mouth. The cheese is a little. Nasty. Nasty. Pakistani immigrant beat his wife to death in their Brooklyn home after she made the mistake of cooking him lentils instead of the hearty meal of goat that he craved, according to court papers.

He asked his wife to cook goat. She made something else. He asked his wife to cook a goat. She made something else. And he defended it by saying that he comes from a culture where he thinks that it is appropriate conduct for him to hit his wife. He believed that he had the right to hit his wife and to discipline his wife. Well, that's not him saying that. That's his defense attorney, Julie Clark, who's saying that.

Gotcha. I'm sure she probably fucking asked him about that, though. Like, why did you do this? No, no. I mean, but like what makes it even more disgusting is that that is somehow going to get play by an attorney here is going to say something like that. And not just any attorney, a woman attorney. attorney, a woman attorney. I think that adds insult to injury that the guy just killed his wife, beat his wife to

death, domestic violence, abuse to death and somebody is going to make that claim and be like, oh well, they beat their wives to death like crazy over there. Have you been over there? I mean, jeez. They just drop them like flies. They keep a stick in the kitchen just for this

purpose so they could just beat their wife. They keep a stick in the kitchen just for this purpose. So they could just beat their wife. Yeah. It's a beating stick. Come on. A wife beating stick. Look, either you make goat or you get a beating. Those are your two options.

I don't even like, it would be difficult for me to find goat, by the way. Like if somebody was like, make goat for dinner. You had to hanker in for a goat? Like I would, I've never, I have never seen goat on sale. No had to hanker in for a goat? I have never seen goat on sale. No. I haven't either. And any butcher near me at any... I have never seen goat for sale. Maybe that's why she had to cook

them lentils. Right. She's like, fucking, they're out of goat. They're out of goat. America. Yeah. So, you know, sorry. We don you know, sorry. We don't eat it here. We don't eat a lot of goats. Like it's just not a popular food.

It's like not a popular protein food. I think this is a stupid defense. I think this is an awful defense. And I think it's terrible that something like this could even be introduced. It reminds me of those Muslim girls who got drunk and beat the fuck out of that girl. And then the judge is like, oh, well, they just don't drink very often. It's like, oh, well, this person is used to being able to beat the shit out of his wife. So if I could just let him go, that's bullshit.

Yeah. Well, you know, the thing is that that gets me is this is the line where it says he culturally believed. And I like I want to scream like who fucking cares? Who cares what he culturally believed? That is the least relevant part of this story like you are a murderer you beat your wife to death with a fucking stick while she was laying in her bed that is what happened that is a fucking thing that occurred

it doesn't make any fucking difference what your culture thought was right or wrong it's fucking wrong it's not it's not like, oh, it's maybe less wrong because you thought you were allowed to do it. That is a hundred percent wrong. It's not mitigated. This, the fact that somebody has a cultural belief that says that they should be able to beat their wife in no way ameliorates their responsibility. Like how is that supposed to, to is that supposed to reduce the amount of culpability he has in this crime? It's fucking insane that somebody would fucking say that out loud with a straight face. It's like, I mean, I can't even come up with a more ridiculous example because the example here is so absurd.

He beat his wife to death and was like, I thought I could do it. You know, whoops i'm sorry guys you know it's not like he it's not like he didn't understand how the fucking tokens worked to get on the subway like that's a cultural misunderstanding that's some like that's some belki bartokamos perfect stranger stuff right like? Like, oi! What's a country? Exactly, right? Like, I'm sitting in a picnic basket or something. Oh, look at me! I forgot to wear pants!

That's a cultural misunderstanding. Like, beating your wife to death is not a cultural misunderstanding. So we want to thank our patrons this week we're starting out with a bang i see you get it with a bang you get it cunt waffle is the first one mike k um and hold on now this person said that if i could pronounce their name i could they would double their patronage and so i I got to pronounce this one right. Gwenaera Brahma. And I pronounced her last name, even though she said that she, she did say she wanted it pronounced. So I got your last name in there. Chris, Rich, and Lars,

thank you all very much for being patrons. We really appreciate it. I did want to make an announcement very quickly. I know that it's listed on our site and it's going to change very soon. That $500 an episode would make it so that we could do two episodes a month. I'm going to have to change that to a larger figure. And I'm going to tell you why. Don't be upset, but I have to tell you why. I just recently went through and made a sort of a marketing plan for our podcast. I have a class, a marketing class in graduate school, and I decided to do it for our podcast.

So I set it up. But one of the things that I had to do was sort of a pricing schedule to sort of see where all the costs go on our show. And I went out of my way to sort of measure the time and the money that goes into our show. and the money that goes into our show. And the figure that comes up when you count how much it takes for us to make a show, when it comes down to it, along with all the other monies that we spend, it's $221 per episode.

The problem is that if we start doing more episodes a month, that rate shoots up very high. When you signed up for this, you didn't sign up for us to double the number of times that we're going to submit the money per month. If we submit due six a month, we don't want to charge you for six a month because when you signed up, you thought it was just going to be four a month. So we certainly wouldn't want to do that to you. So we want to keep it at four a month or thereabouts. Basically, however many Mondays there are a month is how many times you get charged. And we want to keep it at that from ad infinitum.

We don't want to change that. So what we have to do is we have to change the money that we would take in per episode in order for it to be a worthwhile endeavor. Because doing two extra shows a month is a lot of extra work. Tom and I have found out that it's a lot of extra work. Now, it's fun, but it's a lot of extra work. So in order for that to be a worthwhile endeavor for us, the number would have to be much larger. So I'm gonna be changing that this week.

So if you did donate in hope that $500 would get you an extra, two extra episodes a month. It will not in the future, just so you know, just because it's not economically feasible. But I will try to punch some numbers together this week to try to figure out what that number would have to be to do two extra episodes a month. Right. So we're still going to, just to clarify again,

we're still going to click around at six episodes a month. We charge you for four, you know, or occasionally five if there's five Mondays. But what are you going to do? Yeah. You basically are already getting two extra shows is what we're guaranteeing. We're not charging for them. But to double that again to four extra shows, it's just the amount of work. My gosh.

It really is. That's a lot. That really is a lot to do two shows a week. It's not saying we won't do it, but we have to we have to figure out where that where that begins to make sense for us. Tom, we got an email from Robert Revenge of the Penis Snatchers. Yeah, this is this is fucking crazy. And I've actually I'm actually familiar with this. fucking crazy and i've actually i'm actually familiar with this uh he says your show on charlatanry reminded which i still love reminded me of coro a witchcraft thing from africa that involves making penises disappear and then holding the penises hostage for money to get them back

bad thing is that accused penis snatchers have been killed in penis snatching witch hunts but i'd love to see some guy walk into a police station, pull his pants down and claim, it's gone, that has happened. I have read news stories, trolling around looking for stuff for the show, of that exact thing happening, of people showing up and filing charges

and being believed, despite the presence of their actual penis. What? That somebody has stolen their penis. There is a phenomenon where there are sort of these culturally accepted hysterias or culturally accepted delusions that infect for whatever reason. They just – they have traction within a certain region or a certain culture. Um, and in parts of Africa, there is this penis snatching thing and people will just,

it'll be as simple as like they're walking and like somebody touches them on the shoulder and then they like, now they've gotten their penis stolen and their fucking dick is still there. It's like fucking their penis didn't go anywhere. There's fucking objective evidence, but it's, it's like they can't even see their own dick and, and other people will join in this sort of, um, miniaturized mass hysteria event, um, where penises fucking go missing. And like, I mean, there's fucking, I don't know, like penis fucking swap meets.

I don't know. It's fucking crazy,. It's fucking crazy. It's so crazy. I'm kind of interested in maybe a penis swap meets. Can you get a bigger one? Thanks for sending this because that shit is fucking nuts, man. Speaking of penis swap meets, we got an email

from GrimAtheist. This is GrimAtheist on Twitter. He sent us a hilarious addicting info article that says in georgia it's harder to buy a vibrator than it is to buy a gun i don't find that at all uh hard to believe uh but essentially it says like you gotta have like a fucking note from your doctor yeah that's an awkward fucking doctor visit and you have to have a valid medical reason um what would be the valid medical reason you want to get your rocks off i think that's a valid medical reason is that like is that a diagnosis like when you

show up and they're like trying to code that shit like you know for billing purposes like right like uh the woman came in complaining of not having a vibrator i'm sorry sir your hmo doesn't cover that um i diagnosed her with no vibratorism it's kind of a sexy talk to have with your doctor isn't it it's fucking awesome the fucking you know back in the day too like the vibr you know, the vibrator was actually created because doctors used to manually stimulate women to orgasm as a as a cure for hysteria. And the vibrator was created because their fucking hands got. I'm not making this up like that is fucking for real. The vibrator was created because doctors fucking like I'm tired'm tired of basically fingering all these winds into the world.

I'm getting carpal tunnel here. It's like workplace injury. Yeah, isn't that fucking nuts? No, actually, there's no nuts involved, it turns out. That's true. Well, thank you very much for setting that story. That story is great. We got a message from Matt. He says, I currently volunteer at the Greater Chicago Food Depository once a week to help deliver food to schools, YMCA's, retirement homes, and some smaller food pantries.

Since I volunteer there, I receive an email about the 29th Annual Hunger Walk. It's a 5K walk to raise money. And Matt sent us the site. And he says, by the way, if anyone would prefer to donate to my page. So he has his own personal page. So a gentleman who listens to the show is going to be walking in this 5K. We're going to post both. So we're going to post the Chicago Food Depository Hunger Walk link, and we're also going to post his personal link so if you go to this episode episode 155 on dissonancepod.com you can find the links to his uh to this 5k uh walk that they're going to be doing to raise money for uh people in chicago that are experiencing food insecurity so uh so

you know it's a great cause and we're very happy and we hope you, you make a ton of money, uh, Matt, uh, for the Chicago, uh, food depository. Tom, we got an, we got a funny message from, uh, from Catherine. Catherine mentions a, uh, comic book and, uh, a humanist comic book, but at the, at the bottom, I thought it was, it was quite amusing what she had to say. She says, I'm not sure if you mentioned the comic book. But at the, at the bottom, I thought it was, it was quite amusing what she had to say. It says, I'm not sure if you mentioned the comic book in an earlier podcast episode. And I started to look and see if this email would be redundant,

but then I pulled a Tom and decided to not put any effort into looking and send the email anyway. That's awesome. Well, thank you, Catherine. Thank you for being a kindred spirit in laziness i hadn't seen the uh the the uh comic book that has an atheist superhero battling

supernatural threats it seems a little weird but uh sure i think you know like the moment i see supernatural shit i start believing i mean like if i see like a fucking ghost made of fire, I'm just like, um, ghost made of fire. Checkmate atheists. Well, isn't I was going to say, like, isn't that the problem? It's like it's like you've got somebody who's like, I demand evidence. And then somebody is like, I am the evidence. I'll fight you. Yeah, exactly.

But I didn't read the comic book because I'm not a comic guy. I'm really not a comic book guy either, but thank you very much for sending it in. And it's on Patheos blog, so if you probably do a search for it, you could find it pretty easily. We got an email from Jay and he says, I'm a fan and a subscriber. I thought you guys might appreciate this

if you haven't seen it yet and it's the whitest kids you know glory hole. It's fucking awesome and it made me laugh out loud it's funny raunchy humor that made me laugh so i'm gonna put the video for this whitest kids you know glory hole on this week's episode uh you can check it out there i laughed out loud i think tom laughed out loud we thought it was great thank you jay we got a message from John. John's a longtime listener to the show. He's got a huge Google Plus presence. He's on a bunch of different boards,

and he's created a bunch of different boards. I think he's one of the main creators of the irreverent skeptics board on Google Plus, as well as a couple of other. I think he has a GMO board that he runs over there. But he sends a message, and he says, I left a comment on your G Plus page to this effect, too. I don't know if you read those, but I'd love to hear you guys discuss the 140 page manifesto by the mass murderer. And I'm not going to mention his name. The story seems to have something for everyone from gun control to misogyny to psychiatric care to narcissism. You know, Tom and I, we make a concerted effort not to cover the stories.

Today we covered the stories in an ancillary way. We talked a little bit about Glenn Beck talking about this mass murder and we talked a little bit about the other story that had to do with the people who thought the fucking foundations of America were crumbling because of this mass murder. But we try to avoid talking about the specifics, not only the name of the person, but then

also there's the mass murder itself. Because Tom and I think both really feel that that's local news that really is not all that important when you break it outside of the spectrum. Mass murderers want you to talk about the things that they've done. They want you to go out of your way to make a big fucking deal out of it like they do on CNN and how they have the 24 hour news cycles. And they keep on fucking regurgitating the same old shit and show press conference after press conference and interview after interview of people talking about what this person did because they want all that attention. So we don't, we don't fuel that. We try avoid that and uh and to be honest both tom and i think

they're really just local stories that need to be treated like local stories yeah you know i was i was talking to my wife about this subject yesterday and why we don't cover this on the show and you know um unfortunately i think that uh major news outlets engage in and we're not one um but they engage in far too much tragedy whoring. It makes me very uncomfortable to, you know, Cecil and I actually were standing at a Burger King of all places coming back from a trip when this story was beginning to break. And they kept showing the same images over and over on a big fucking screen TV in the middle of a Burger King where like people like show up

with their kids to like eat a fucking happy meal or whatever their equivalent is. And like, you know, they're showing like aggrieved people standing there in shock and, you know, bodies covered in plastic and they're just tragedy whoring. Um, and that is, you know, people commit mass murder in my opinion, rather than serial killing or murders of other types. And they tend to end in suicide. And my feeling is that that's because they want the spectacle, because the spectacle, the big show, is part of the appeal for the people that engage in mass murder, the spectacle of the media circus that is certain to surround their actions. And one of the things we can do, Cecil and I, as a media outlet,

although it's a tiny one, is to not give them the benefit of spectacle. And so thank you very much for your email, but we will not give the benefit of spectacle. And so thank you very much for your email, but we will not give the benefit of spectacle to these people. Finally, we got a message. I'm going to read this one out loud. This is from Nakia. It says, I just finished listening to the recent podcast

with a dude from Skeptically Challenged as a guest. His name is Ross. This was the last midweek episode. Says, I had planned to subscribe after hearing him on your show, but to my surprise, you mentioned you had been on a couple of shows. So of course I must download those first.

I went to download them and it appears as he doesn't list his guests in the titles. He couldn't see him, of course, on iTunes. So he figured he would have to read the show notes to every single show. But as he's reading the show notes or she's reading the show notes, it says, I notice a tiny little red E next to a few of the episodes. Explicit. Yes, there are my boys. That's great.

It just made me smile. So I thought I'd share. I love that everywhere you go, you make it explicit. It's so funny when that one time that Jake tried to censor us on his show. Do you remember this? I do. He got on a third of the way through. And he just gave up.

He had like horse sounds and stuff that he was putting in there. He couldn't keep. And the funny thing was is he couldn't even keep up with how we talk. He could not even keep up the level of profanity. He like ran out of sounds. Yeah, I know. There's not enough animals in the animal kingdom. That's the problem.

Oh, God, it was awesome. If you're going to have a, I mean, you're like reduced to like, what does the fox say at some point? It's just like. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We're like the Johnny Appleseed of profanity. Like everywhere we go, we're just planting F-bombs. We leave it wherever we go.

Well, that wraps it up for this week. We are hopefully going to be back soon talking to Gamma Atheist. That's David Viviano. We're hopefully going to have him on the show very soon. And we're also looking to have Adam Reeks from the herd mentality on, uh, relatively soon as well. So, uh, so we're hoping that those shows sort of come together very soon. And, uh, and we're going to leave you as always with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune,

cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain deadpan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Thank you.