Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 160: #MasturbatorsForChrist

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

    Holy Crap Vlogcast:   Ironman for Doctors without Borders   Keith’s Music:    

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Hey guys, Glory Hole, it's Gabe. I was listening to your episode about the guy from Florida who said we shouldn't worry about climate change because apparently the dinosaurs died and they didn't seem to have automobiles. That is such a messed up way of thinking. Like it's not even saying, listen, we shouldn't worry about climate change because we don't fully understand it and it might turn out to be good contrary to our scientific model.

It's saying we shouldn't worry about climate change because other bad stuff happens to people sometimes, too. I mean, can you imagine? Imagine going to the doctor and the doctor says to you, listen, you've got cancer. It's life-threatening and it's aggressive. But there's treatment for it. But you know what? Fuck that treatment. Because sometimes people die a crib death, too.

Hey, what's up, guys? This is Mike in California again. Just want to connect with that guy from something Texas when he's driving and he's talking about the Ooga Chugga, Ooga Chugga. Anyways, that's Matthew, bro. Come talk to me when you start telling people, like, that's not a thing. That's not a science. That's not a true. Holy shit, I say that all the time now. Anyways, not a science. That's not a true. Holy shit. I say that all the time now. Anyways, go ahead and have a good day.

Hey Cecil and Tom. I just have to say I love your show. I'm up here in Kenosha, Wisconsin. I do have one question for you though. What the hell is a fiddler's fuck? And how do fiddlers fuck? Is it like a different thing? I don't know.

I heard Deepak Chopra is paying millions to have it understood. Thank you. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome mat. This is a very special show. This is episode 160. And we have Jake from TheImaginaryFriendShow.com. What's happening, bromos? Bromos? Bromos? That's my dog's name. That is his dog's name.

Is it really? Yeah, my dog's name is Bromo. That is the most awesome thing that I've ever heard in my entire life. You're like a mentalist. Like, you totally pick that on everything. That's awesome, man. That was super random and strange. Fucking great.

Yeah, I had two dogs. I got one left, but I wanted an old man name, so I named him Murray and Bromo. Did you eat the other one? Yeah, I ate him. He was pretty good. A little stringy. I probably should have cooked him, but I couldn't wait. He was just so delicious looking.

Yeah. You're into the walking dead dog. You know, the problem is you get a 60-pound dog, and he walks around, and you just can't help but think snack, snack, snack the whole time. So, you know, I took him down. I took him down. It's easier because he trusted me. You know, that's what helps. That does help.

He loved me. It's a lot for a meal, really. I mean, you have to, all those years to build that trust just to eat it. Well, Jake, thanks for coming on our show and hopefully raising the bar a little bit. We appreciate it. I promise nothing. You'll deliver nothing, too. I said hopefully raising the bar.

We don't require it. If we required it, Cecil would have bumped me off the show years ago. Yeah, that's true. So the first story I want to talk about with you comes from Alternet.org. Southern GOP-er says only Christians should be protected by the Constitution. And I think his argument, Jake and Cecil, was pretty ironclad. Yes, he doesn't like people who aren't him. And look,

can you argue with that? That's like Jake, did you watch the debate with Dillahunty and Cybrbrbrbr? Great pronunciation of his name. No, I didn't. I have no idea who you're talking about. So Dillahunty recently did this debate with this guy who's

a presuppositionalist, which is fucking nonsense. And his first name is Sy, his last name is unpronounceable, so I'm not even going to try. And I fucking shit you not, the first 40 seconds of that debate when Sy speaks is the funniest fucking thing ever. I'm going to paraphrase, but I'm barely paraphrasing, right? He says, it is rational to believe things that are true. It's true that God exists. Therefore, it is rational to believe things that are true it's true that god exists therefore it is rational

to believe that god exists that was the thrust of his argument that's basically the thrust of this guy's argument right it's fucking unassailably circular circular logic yeah well that's pretty much all that this guy does is thrust yeah that's it it's I mean, I love the idea. Like this guy is a guy who thinks that Obama is a Muslim lover. Yeah, pro-Islamic. He's a guy who, you know, he's like he's just a human zombie. I mean, he's a human moron. He's the kind of guy that it's like the outside world or even most of America looks at him and says,

did you, you got elected? You got elected to government. I'm sorry. People actually elected you to represent them and their views at a place where they make laws that govern our society. How, how, why? Yeah. at a place where they make laws that govern our society. How? Why? Well, to be fair, on his ballot it did say, I choo-choo-choose you.

You know, I mean, with a name, though, his name is pretty fucking rock solid, though, because his name is Loudermilk milk which is pretty great wow like with a name like louder milk it has to be good right i don't know that's what follows i don't know that that follows and i i've always wondered when you hear a name like that because it's you know a lot of times names come historically from something like back and they'd like oh the smiths like they were smiths yeah they were you know that's what they did like they were blacksmiths like what do you what was your fucking job when you're just, louder milk?

What the fuck? Do you like milk? Well, you're going to love louder milk. It's like 10% louder than the normal milk. He says here, in the article it says, he also believes it's fine for women to seek political office, at least if certain conditions are met. If the woman is within the authority of her husband, I don't see a problem. Isn't that great?

It's like a fucking bonus for voters. It's like a BOGO. Like you vote for one woman and you get the husband for free. Well, yeah, that's true. But first, let's acknowledge the fact that he is being progressive and saying that women do deserve, to a certain extent, to a certain extent. That's like a crazy. To a certain extent, they do deserve the ability to be elected. You know, if people are stupid enough to vote for them.

You know, but that's like saying that you can elect an RC car. Like, as long as somebody else is controlling her. Exactly. That, exactly. That's exactly it, right? She shows up and she's got a fucking antenna. She's beep, bop, bop, bop, bop. Her husband's just actually walking behind her. You know, he says in here, although Islam has a religious component, it is much more than a simple religious ideology.

It is a complete geopolitical structure and as such does not deserve first amendment protection i'm thinking like yeah can can i just point out the freaking irony you know back that he is calling for uh christianity to be given um federal protection right i would like to ensconce my religion is as an ideology that is more than just a simple religious structure, but that has a complete geopolitical structure. That's what I'm trying to do. But I'm going to criticize you for doing the exact same thing. There's a linked article here where if you follow the link, it talks about some other shit that he said. And it's from a place called AGC.com. And here's a quote from that article.

He also believes that gay people are engaged in a plot to convert our young people to homosexuality and that homosexuals, and this is an actual quote from him, that, quote, homosexuals have a right to be married. They just don't have the right to marry each other, end quote. Oh, my God. Nice. Maybe, you know, not in Georgia where he's from, but 19 states and counting, you know, 19 states and counting. There is freedom for homosexuals to marry each other. And, you know, it's going to fucking overtake this guy eventually.

Eventually, if he does get elected in his state, he's going to be the's gonna be bellyaching when it gets passed because eventually it's gonna get passed yeah but ultimately he's gonna be dead he's gonna be dead soon yeah you know so he's he's his opinion he's going to fade into irrelevance with him oh man here's to hoping like he's not a young man and and you know let's acknowledge that the vast majority of young people today, of which I don't actually think I qualify, which is really, really disheartening. I found a grey hair in my beard the other day. Yeah, so this... One.

Just one. Yeah, just one thing. I'm still looking for a brown hair in my beard these days. Yeah, no kidding. Shit. They're bastards at camouflaging themselves. At the very least, you know, the young people of today are overwhelmingly for equality in marriage at the very least

because they have gay friends. You know, they have gay friends who are no longer forced to hide in secrecy and commit suicide because they're being repressed by society and their family you know so they actually know people who they want to uh provide equal rights to i mean he will just like his stupid thoughts they will eventually die yeah man i i totally agree like i look at these guys and it's like, fucking, you're an irrelevant dinosaur, man. Like, there's a reason it's called progressivism, because you can't fucking stop the march of progress. There's never been a time where we've been like, oh, yeah, we totally gave, you know, black people to vote and women to vote.

But now we're going to go back in time. Like, the conservative party is always like, well, can't we just go back in time? And you're like, no, that's never been possible. And nobody wants it. Well, they are called conservatives for a reason. They do want to conserve it. But I love the idea of thinking of them as an irrelevant dinosaur. Because then basically all we need is a big gay meteor.

Wakefield is not just any researcher. Wakefield is not just any researcher. His 1998 study on autism and childhood vaccines literally changed the way many parents think about vaccines. The study was based on just 12 children. That's right, 12 children. But many parents desperate for answers around the world embraced Wakefield's claim that he'd found a link between autism and the vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella.

So this next story comes from the New York Times. Judge upholds policy barring unvaccinated students during illnesses. In a case weighing the government's ability to acquire vaccination against the individual right to refuse it, a federal judge has upheld a New York City policy that bars unimmunized children from public school when another student has a vaccine preventable illness. What baffled me is if I fucking know my kid is not vaccinated, and I know that kids in the school have a fucking disease that my kid is susceptible to because he's unvaccinated, why would I want to even send him to school in the first place?

Well, because all these people think that like those diseases make you stronger or whatever you know but but i think it also comes back to the fact that and look this is a controversial view but uh people who don't vaccinate their children don't actually care about their children so hey they can send them out to the disease fest 2014 no problem it's true you may i mean you may as well just just have them play in a fucking open dumpster. Like at that point. Just be like, dumpster full of dirty needles. Exactly.

It's like, ah, no problem. Let's just go to this dumpster behind the methadone clinic. See what fun toys we can find, Jimmy. Hey, kids, I'm going to throw a quarter. Go get it. There you go. Dig to the bottom of the dumpster. Jesus.

Son, stop rolling down that hill of grass. I need you to go and jump in that dumpster and raise a blade, please. You know, this is funny. There's a part of this article. I'm going to quote the article. It says, Miss Check. Now, this is the woman who's been, she's like pulling her kids out and like trying to get this, essentially they want this religious uh exemption they want a religious exemption from

for their children but a bunch of people a bunch of schools are not allowing it anymore because they're they're being a lot more rigid on uh deciding whether or not the religious exemption is valid and she got rejected then she went to like a private school where they're a little more lenient but at one point the article says that she rejected vaccination after her daughter was intoxicated and intoxicated is in quotes by a few shots during infancy, which she said caused an onslaught of food and milk allergy allergies, rashes and infections. Combined with a religious revelation she had during a difficult pregnancy, she said the experience turned her away from medicine and now she uses holistic treatments. You know the best time to change your views is during a difficult pregnancy, I think. I think that's the most important way is because outside factors made your pregnancy difficult, then suddenly like, oh, I got to completely fucking flip my worldview around. Look, all of those things that she mentioned have an actual evidence-based answer.

You know, her children got sick after a vaccination. It's because vaccinations produce an immunological response that just like when your body comes into contact with any virus, it raises the temperature because the temperature that the viruses need in order to propagate around your body is much lower than that when you actually come into contact with the virus and your homeostasis raises that temperature. So it produces an immunological response. You get a fever. There's often an itchy spot. There's often, you know, a sore spot on their arm. Or it's entirely possible that the child had an adverse reaction to that because, for example, the child might be allergic to eggs.

Yeah. You know, there's 100,000 things that better explain it. Or it's a fucking baby. And sometimes they just cry. You know what I mean? Like sometimes babies cry what are you serious since when it turns out they cry because they have no other fucking way to communicate she also says and i gotta read this because i've always said baby's a dick this is the best she says pestilence

is a disease i love it is that true is that right no shit The no shit award goes to. The dictionary? Exactly. And then she says, pestilence is a disease. No fucking shit, dummy. And then she says, and pestilence is from the devil. The devil is germs and disease, which is a cancer. And any of those things that can take you down. But if you trust in the Lord, these things cannot come near you.

Well, except, of course, food and milk allergies and rashes and infection, because God is completely fucking powerless against those, which is fucking evident by your children. When it kills me, too, that she's like, yeah, you know, she mentioned she had a difficult pregnancy. And so she swore off of medicine. And I'm thinking, like, if you had a difficult pregnancy, my fucking guess is you were helped by some medicine during that day. It's not like you were like, man, I had this fucking raw ass pregnancy, fucking sucked. And man, that medicine they gave me made it worse. Like, no, that's probably not the case. Wow.

But honestly, I think this ruling by this court, by this judge, by this lone judge is amazing. Just amazing. You know, the ability to withhold schooling or to basically stop certain children who are unvaccinated based on their religious ideals or their choice, based on their religious ideals or their choice, whatever it happens to be, whatever stupid reason they come up with to prevent them from vaccinating, that they're not allowed to go to the school. You know, it's fantastic.

It means that the protected children get to hang around with protected children, that the non-protected children don't have to come into contact with people who may actually have a disease that will kill somebody who is immune compromised. Yeah, it's a good policy, Jake. That's the thing. It's like the policy is they're not even saying like you have to get immunized.

Right. So it's a fucking weak sauce policy to what would be, you know, a better policy to be like, fuck it. There's no religious exemption. Fuck you. You're getting immunized. We're not going to go down that road. So instead, it's a fucking half-assed policy.

The policy is, look, if you're not going to get fucking immunized, then when there's a fucking illness at school that's a vaccine preventable illness, your kid's not welcome at the school. That's a good policy. Makes sense for all components, right? Makes sense for everybody involved in the possible transaction. Everybody is protected. The fucking, the kids who through no fault of their own are unvaccinated, right?

It's not their fault that their parents make fucking terrible medical decisions on their behalf. They're just, they're fucking victims. Maybe it is their fault, Tom. Have you considered that? Maybe it is their fault. Maybe the kids, as I've said many times before, I said just a few minutes ago kids are dicks they're just dicks it's true you got me there i hadn't considered it that way what do you guys think i mean i kind of dislike the religious exemption that you can get for vaccines because it's a public health thing

right like so i mean i don't mind religious exemptions for things that you know fucking religious exemptions for whatever you know i mean i i respect people's fucking necessity to believe if they want to believe that's fine on their own time but you know it's not just affecting your child it's affecting public health policy you can't decide to change public health policy because of a singular belief held only by you. I just feel like that's that's irresponsible and shouldn't be condoned by the government. I feel like that's an awful fucking thing to propagate. And they and it seems like and I know for a fact that they have that exemption here in Illinois, because I remember I know some people who don't vaccinate like dummies. And they were saying, well, I'm going to get this little form that says I were religiously exempt.

And they're not even they don't even fucking believe that shit. They just don't want to do it. Well, in Australia, it was it came out recently that you could go to a school if you were unvaccinated, if you had a religious exemption. So effectively, the only way that you can get into a public school if your children are not vaccinated is through this religious exemption. So effectively, the only way that you can get into a public school if your children are not vaccinated is through this religious exemption. So it's pretty much the only loophole allowing it now. So, I mean, look, I honestly do not agree with any religious exemption for any reason for anything. I mean, if aversion to a thing based in reality frightens you, then perhaps it's because your beliefs aren't consistent with reality.

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe review the beliefs before you ask for an exemption from reality-based life. But what if you're exempt from reality? We should ask Deepak Chennopra about it and see what he says. Yes, you should have. He's living in a quantum world right now.

Love is really a quantum state, you see. And when these people vaccinate themselves, they remove themselves from the normal reality and go and exist in a quantum reality. And if they were to take the vaccines, then unfortunately they would be pushed forth into the normal reality,

making them live in a world that they just don't want to live in and something that their soul would escape deeply and quickly out of their nostrils. It would completely rip apart their nasal cavities. So it's definitely bad for people who don't want to be vaccinated to be vaccinated. Very bad. They know this will completely explode.

That was the most cogent argument Deepak Chopra has ever made. Seriously, that was smarter than anything he said in that Randy thing the other day. It had a thesis, it had support, and it had a conclusion. It was awesome. I honestly wonder whether Deepak is a vaccinated person. That's an interesting question.

I just think he quantums the diseases away from him. Yeah, he probably just fucking quantums them out, man. See, what I did here is I thought really hard about the pertussis. And when I thought really hard about the pertussis, it completely infused within my body. Pertussis, it's perfect. It's awesome. And it became part of my soul.

And the reason that that happened was because I gave it quantum love. So we're going to have Jake on for one more story at the end of the show. And he's also got a very special announcement about some happenings in Brisbane. So you're going to want to stick around for that. I hear Brisbane is beautiful this time of year. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. This story comes from freep.com. And it's straight out of Gaylord.

I love this. There's no way not to take this story when it's from Gaylord. Gaylord is awesome. It's like you're this story when it's from Gaylord. Gaylord is awesome. It's like, you know, you're holding a Christian music festival at Gaylord. It's like being a high school nerd and dumping your own books. It's such a bad idea. It's such a truly epically bad idea. Anyway, a Christian radio host was arrested in Gaylord on child sex charges.

John Balliou, he is arrested. He is a gospel music radio host guy for WCSG Radio. And he's hanging out in Gaylord, a little Christian music gathering. Gets arrested by a bunch of officers of Homeland Security, Michigan State Police, and the Battle Creek Police Department. So pretty much fucking everybody available arrested this guy. Like the entire law enforcement community of all of Gaylord arrested this guy. And with a town like Gaylord, one has to think that the community of law enforcement was significant. Actually, it wasn't even, he wasn't even arrested. It was just the village

people finally came for him. Well, there's one cop on the village people, so he's the one arrested. Yeah. It says in this article, it says authorities say by Baylow,

what we were saying is Bay Ballyhoo allegedly paid another person who is a defendant in a child exploitation case to arrange for sexual encounters with minor victims. Essentially, his his company, this WCSG, released the following statement. We are shocked and deeply saddened to learn of the arrests and allegations against John Ballywick. He's a morning talk show host. He has been put on indefinite paid administrative leave.

And I'm thinking, what the hell do you have to do to get fired from that job? Let's just say fucking Voldemort was your boss. He would be like, look, man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, John. You know, I really like the zeal at which you kill, like, little kids' parents. But, you know, the company's just going to have to go in a new direction. You know, and the best part is that it's paid administrative leave.

I know. He gets vacation. He gets vacation time. That's how they respond to this? To give him a vacation? Oh, man. Man, I'm really going to need some time off. Oh, you know, John Ballyhoo, you've been looking a little peaked.

You got some shit going on in the old personal life? Sure. You're never going to believe this. So I'm fucking this little boy, right? And all of a sudden Homeland Security... Say no more. Let's call HR and get you a little R&R. What are you kidding me?

That is not a rational response to the problem. The response to the problem is, this motherfucker is fired. Yeah, exactly. How do you equivocate? How do you be like, well, we're not really sure we're going to see how things shake out. The dude was propositioning a guy to get him a little child.

And you need to think about that. Like, I remember the only job I ever got fired from was a Burger King when I was like 17 for basically a no show. Right. Like, I just didn't show up for work because I had class or something. So I got fired from a Burger King for a no show. That's for not showing up for work because I had class or something. So I got fired from a Burger King for a no show. That's for not showing up for work. I know. I know.

You know, like, it's not like I fucked a boy. Like, I didn't, like, have sex with a little kid. I like this. It's called the Big Ticket Festival. Doesn't that sound like the worst carnival ever? What kind of rides do you have at, like, the Kitty Diddle Carnival anyway? Like, the A-Cups? That's a ride. The A-Cups? That's a ride.

The A-Cups. The Humper Cars. That's a good one. Oh, no. The Grabitron. That's another one you want to stay away from. And you don't ever want to forget about the zipper. I mean, that's one.

However, I have been an exception. I think you can't attend a wedding if you hold up a sign that reads Leviticus 2013. I think that would be appropriate. I think that would be appropriate. Yeah, that you could attend a wedding and a sign that reads Leviticus 2013. I think that would be appropriate. I think that would be appropriate. Yeah, that you could attend a wedding and hold up the sign Leviticus 2013. And, you know, word for word, a man sleeps with a man as he sleeps with a woman. The two of them have committed abomination. They shall both be put to death.

I mean, you could attend a wedding and hold up that sign. So if you get an invitation to a homosexual wedding, and I guess, Dave, it comes down to if you bake a cake for a homosexual wedding, you could put Leviticus 2013 on the cake. This next story comes from the Raw story. Texas values leader, because I guess values need a leader. He's the leader. Texas values followers?

I don't know. It says gay people planning concentration camps over wedding cakes. Leader of an anti-LGBT group in Texas. Read here. Leader of an anti-LGBT group in Texas. Read here. Leader of Texas. Said in a recent interview that gay activists effectively wanted concentration camps for anyone who refused to sell them a wedding cake.

No, no, no. They want a cake. That's not the same thing. They just want a cake. A concentration camp is like that's where we put the Japanese. Like that's not the same thing. They just want a cake. A concentration camp is, like, that's where we put the Japanese. Like, that's not the same thing as a cake. Be honest, though. A gay concentration camp sounds kind of nice. They probably have a nice weight room.

You know what I mean? Like, they probably got a rock and a hot tub. I bet it's fucking loads of fun. It's fabulous. It's well-decorated. Lots of really nice selection of lotions, I'm sure. Uniforms are pretty cool, too. Let me read to you what he says.

Let me play what he says here, Tom. I think that that, you know, we'll let his words speak for him. This is courtesy of Media Matters, also the Raw story. All right, let's get back to Colorado. So you have a baker that does wedding cakes, and they say they don't want to do a two-man wedding cake, you know, with a little thing on the top, or a two-woman wedding cake with the little figurines on the top or whatever. And so the homosexual couple, whether it's man and man or woman and woman, whatever, they go to this specially created commission to deal with this, file a complaint against the business. And so the commission says, no, you're going to make this cake,

plus you're going to go to concentration camp, essentially. Is that what you're telling me jonathan that's right what what commission is setting show me one concentration camp well look people have different definitions of concentration camp i think what they probably get sent to is like sensitivity training they probably get sent to hey you gotta make the cake yeah well you know can't these fucking idiots just make a bad wedding cake for a gay couple? I know. Can't they?

Like, let's say I'm a fucking bigoted jagoff, right? Let's just presume for a minute that I fucking either am really gay and don't want to be gay or I'm just such an asshole and it makes me feel so icky when people are gay. I'm going to make other people's fucking lives miserable. And let's just say that I'm a fucking baker too. So not only a despicable human being, I'm also a baker. They come to see me and they're like, hey, we'd really like to have this cake. Meet my husband, my soon to be husband. And I'm a man too.

Be like, oh, okay, well, I'll just make you a cake with some dookie filling in it. You know what I mean? And then suddenly this fucking couple is going to tell everybody they know that you suck and you'll never get another gay wedding. You'll never get another one. And you don't have to worry about it. You don't have to go to your fucking gay concentration camp. You don't have to worry

about it. They're just going to give you a bad fucking Yelp review and tell all their gay friends and you'll never get another gay wedding cake. And you can live happily ever after and they can live happily ever after. The thing is that these guys don't want everybody to live happily ever after. What they want to do is take a brave stance.

They want to take a brave stance against people loving each other and buying stuff at stores. Because that's what we need to be fighting about. There's still a little more of this idiot. Hold on a second. You know, they tried to do something like that here in Texas. Rodney, I think it was a bill by Senator Rodney Ellis that dealt with hate crime stuff where they would have forced you to participate in an event of the quote unquote community that you had offended.

And so we testified against this legislation. It ended up dying on the Senate side. But, you know, this is what they want. I mean, there's no question. I've seen it. I've seen them try to do it with legislation here in Texas at the state level. It is a goal of theirs to put people in jail that disagree with homosexual marriage. Okay, so if you're a business, they want to put you in jail.

They want people to be in fear. And they want people's businesses shut down. No question. It's like talking to you, Jesus Christ, to get a word in edgewise for crying out loud. Yeah, I – you know, what he's saying is – and, you know, he's like – he's talking about how there might be a bill. He clearly said that it didn't pass, I thought. I thought he said it didn't pass anyway. He said it died in the Senate.

He clearly said that it didn't pass, I thought. I thought he said it didn't pass anyway. He said it died in the Senate. It died in the Senate. That they would have had to gone to an event put on by the group that you offended if it was a hate crime. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, well, what is that? It's not a concentration camp, stupid. Like a concentration camp to me, a gay concentration camp to me, Like a concentration camp to me A gay concentration camp to me

Sounds like they're putting you in some sort of Awful position where you gotta like Fucking like I don't know Shit in a bowl and eat out of the same bowl You know what I mean like some really awful thing That's because you're thinking about concentration camps Concentration camps right Yeah I guess hyperbole is lost on me

But in any case It's some awful position Instead it's like oh you're gonna go and hang out and meet people that you might not agree with their viewpoint man but then you might you might be in a position then to realize that they are in fact human beings and then you would see them as people and you know like i look at that and i think like that's the fucking that's the consolation prize for hate crimes. Right.

Like, right. If you commit a hate crime and then the only thing you have to do is like help make a gay pride float. Like, that's your punishment. How do you get away with that? That's just ridiculous. That's weak sauce enough. They just basically want to be able to say, like, hey, we want to hate who we want to hate. And we're tired of being called out as haters.

I don't think that refusing to do a wedding cake though should be considered a hate no it shouldn't be it's just fucking ignorant that's just but that's the thing is they're equating those two things it's like if a guy refused to do a wedding cake and there's a there's some sort of commission in the state that makes them do it i personally would just report them and then not get them to make my cake that's what i would how can you trust a food from those there's no way i would trust a food around a person who's already you know they don't have enough enough fucking sense to you know not hate other people for a random non-reason why would i trust them with a fucking cake mix you know what i mean like why would i

trust them with fucking eggs and butter there's no reason i would trust them with things fucking cake mix. You know what I mean? Like, why would I trust them with fucking eggs and butter? There's no reason I would trust them with things that need to be refrigerated. By the way, this sort of ties right in is this Rick Santorum story that you tweeted out this week, Tom, this one where he's essentially saying the exact same thing. Business owners who refuse to serve gays sent to re-education camps. And this is from this is from LGBTQ Nation, and I want to play the clip. This is him on the American Family Association Brian Fisher show. So let's listen to him talk for a second. It's essentially the same speech, though.

See situations with bakers and florists and photographers who are now being forced to either provide services for same-sex weddings or get fined, lose their business. In the case of Colorado, there was a Colorado case just recently where someone had to go to re-education camp, if you will. Re-education. to go to re-education camp, if you will. Re-education. Don't you have to actually be educated prior to entering re-education camp? Yeah, they had to go to re-education camp, if you will.

And if you won't, because it's not true. Exactly. Oh, yeah, they had to go to a re-education. How many re-education camps have you ever seen in your life, Cecil? I know, I know. Yeah, zero? Because I've seen about the same number of re-education camps have you ever seen in your life, Cecil? I know. Zero? Because I've seen about the same number of re-education camps. Tom, we come from the socialist state of Illinois. I see plenty in Chicago.

They're all over the place. They call them public schools. That's the re-education camp, right? They call them universities, Tom. Let's finish this. There's a lot more of this idiot. So he's going to be dripping his Santorum all over this show. And the amazing thing is, in Colorado, gay marriage isn't even legal.

One of my most eerie quotes that I use when I talk about this issue is from a Catholic cardinal in Chicago who's a rather mild-mannered man who said a few years ago during the Obamacare debate, after it had passed, he said, I expect to die in my bed. I expect my successor to die in prison. I expect his successor to die a martyr. And I expect you to die with a bunch of fucking hyperbole. Give me a break.

None of those things are going to happen except for the you dying in your bed. Yeah. And also, if the Red Your Church gets members, you won't have successors. Yeah. Exactly. No kidding. This is an America. And you think, well, it can't happen here. It's always only one generation away.

Unless you really fight for it. Let me tell you something. If you watch this film, here's what you'll get. Here's what you'll know. They are fighting. They are fighting. They're not backing away. They are coming at us.

You may remember this case in Greece, New new york which is a star small-town upstate new yorkers the supreme court case just uh... a few weeks ago where the screen court will apply for decision if you could say a prayer at a public meeting you know i almost an amazing thing you have to have a court case on but but we want but here's what happened

the very next day a whole bunch of other liberal lawyer organizations filed suit again. They didn't stop. They didn't quit. They said, oh, we lost. Oh, we're going to go home and look for a woman. The next day, they came out fighting. When you look at the conservative side, how many people

do you hear right now saying, oh, we've already lost the marriage issue. It's time to move on. We can't win. And we haven't even lost yet. And the majority of Americans still believe in marriage. The majority of Americans still believe in marriage? I actually think that the people who are for gay

marriage believe in marriage more than you do. Yeah, I believe in marriage. I believe in marriage. It's a thing. It's got plenty of evidence to support that marriage is something that you believe in. It's real. It's got plenty of evidence to support that marriage is something that you believe in it's real it's tangible i'm married so yeah i i believe in marriage what are you talking about man 19 states just this week just look at the news this week uh fucking um the mormon state utah and indiana um both fell, basically.

I mean, that's amazing. And that domino effect is on the side of... Yeah, Utah? Yeah, I know, man. I mean, Utah. That's what's left. If Utah is going to... I mean, the exciting thing about Utah, too, is it pushes it one step closer to the actual Supreme Court. And if the Supreme Court rules on it, then you won't have to go state by state.

It'll be fucking donezo. So you won't. I mean, there's a tipping point where you won't even have to fucking hit state by state until you get to 50. Yeah, I just I can't I can't for the life of me figure out why this is such a fucking sticking point for these people. I can't. I mean, they are just clawing on it like, you know, like a climber on the side of like a mountain, you know, who's just like the wind is whipping against them. Everything is against them. And they're just like clawing with their their fingernails trying to make sure that they hold on to this and suck the life out of it wherever they go. He's saying, they lost this case and then they started it right back up again.

Don't tell me the other side doesn't do the exact same fucking thing. The moment they lose, they go somewhere else and they try to pick another thing. That's what litigation is all about, dude. Don't pretend that only one side does it. Both sides do it.

Both sides, when they lose, they don't go home and lick their wounds. They try again. They keep on trying again. The problem is, of course, is that the Constitution is on the side of the people who don't want prayer before a meeting. The Constitution is not on your side when it comes to the fact that you go. Because it doesn't say anywhere in there. It's like one man, one woman. Right.

Right, man. And, you know, you ask, like, why is this the issue? I think it's because they've lost on every other topic. Sure. I really think that's it. I think this is their last stand. I think this is the last gasp of the neocon movement. I really do.

I hope so, man. I can't think of what else they have left. They've lost on every other topic, man. I'd just like to see some legitimate actual conservatives come back when and, you know, give the Democrats a run for their money that actually like have good platforms. And, you know, I don't know, like, you know, just people that aren't these neocons, these people that are just like like freakishly against, you know, that are that are totally Christian right. against you know that are that are totally christian right that are totally for you know the craziest shit you could possibly imagine to think re-education camps are an actual fucking thing like can we just get rid of these dumb ass fuckers in politics and just flush the cash and wind up picking someone new that actually has like some fucking knowledge of something i saw

fucking the other day you know this is this is not really on topic but they're talking about fucking carl rove uh maybe be campaigning soon what i don't know if you saw this like they're talking like like he's not saying anything but call but there there's there's a lot of speculation that that that carl rove may be campaigning in 2016 and they they went up to him and they you know they they asked him and I think it's pretty obvious that he's running because he's clearly already out of breath. You know what I mean? Nicely

done there. Very nicely done. That one snuck up on me. You know, they actually went and they got some comments from Chris Christie and he said... Man, that Chris Christieie his star fucking rose and fell in a fucking hurry didn't it and it's a meteoric rise and fall shit that guy fucking

icarus his ass right it's like fucking it's like it about as bad as ford right in toronto the same thing shit if the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities we could really bust some heads. In a spiritual sense, of course. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Pat Robertson's advice on living in a haunted house? What? We should just listen to it.

Yeah, we should. This is fucking gold. I'm going to pause it after she talks about what's happening in the house because it's too fucking funny to let go. Okay, this is Lori who says, My husband and I moved into a house a year ago. I'm a strong Christian with unwavering faith. I believe the Lord tried to stop us from buying it at every turn. OK, all right.

Let's stop there for a second. Are you telling me that omnipotent God couldn't dissuade you somehow from buying a house he couldn't he couldn't tom foil something so fucking volatile as a real estate transaction man it's right like i mean something a fucking fart in the wind can stop a fucking real estate deal yeah i mean for real i mean i've done i've done exactly two real estate transactions in my life, and they've both fucking been full. Actually, I've done three. I bought and sold a house, and then I bought a condo. And all three of them, actually four times I've tried, because I tried to buy this place twice.

Every time, it's like fucking, it doesn't matter. There could be, it's like the butterfly effect. You know what I mean? Like somebody steps on a butterfly, and there's no way you're selling your condo. It's like, I'm sorry, that's like the butterfly effect. You know what I mean? Like, like somebody steps on a butterfly and there's no way you're selling your condo. It's like, I'm sorry. That's not going to, it's not going to happen. Man, that's, I love the idea too, that like this, this person is a strong, unwavering Christian and that God is sending this person signs not to buy the house.

And they're just like, but it gets such great light on the Southern side. I mean, like, what are you fucking talking about? But the granite countertops are... The kids love the pool. Yeah. It's got a walk-in pantry, God. Please reconsider. Have you seen the breakfast bar, Jesus?

Yeah. All right, so there's more. Everything has been very difficult here. Everything has to be redone, rehung, et cetera. Then why'd you buy it? Why was this the house you had to have? I know, right? Like, I got into this house and it's a giant piece of shit and we have to rebuild it.

Fucking lemon. Oh, well, I don't know, maybe fucking hire a building inspector instead of expecting God to do it, you know? The last few months, weird things have been happening in the home. I've seen doors open and close on their own. We can't find something and then it appears and things fall off shelves without reason. Oh, my God. I love the idea that, you know, this is, this is, you lose your fucking keys. You know, this is, this is, you lose your fucking keys. God is the, oh my gosh, this fucking house is fucking haunted.

And God was telling me when I ran out of gas on the way to the closer that I shouldn't have signed this. I shouldn't have got this house. This is the type of person that sends letters fucking. I know, man. You know, I can't, what I cannot imagine is growing up with somebody like this as my parent. Like, when a person's like, ah, fucking, like you said, I lost my keys. And they're wandering around like, I cast you out, demons! I cast you out!

Like, what the fuck is wrong with my mother? And isn't this, you know, we've done it before with Hillbilly God, but clearly, isn't this like, oh, you didn't like them poltergeists I gave you? You didn't like them little ghosts I put in there? I thought y'all liked them ghosts. That's why I put so many of them in your house. Yeah, right. Great reward. Like, man, I'm a strong, unwavering Christian.

Yeah, well, I'm a fucking filthy atheist and I don't have shit in my house. I don't have any ghosts. Like, when I put my shit down, if I remember where I put it, guess where it is tomorrow? Where I fucking put it. That's right where you left it. Why is everything in the last place? Look, look, look, look. Anyway, so here's fucking Pat Robertson's solution. I'd sell that house in a heartbeat.

I would run to the nearest realtor, put it on the market, cut the price in half, and get out. That's what I would do as fast as you can. Run away! Run away! Haunted house! Whatever you do, though, don't mention to the realtor that the house was recently featured on the Pat Robertson show. That's not a selling point. That's not a selling point. Don't say that to them. I love that Pat Robertson's like, you know what I would do? I would unload this problem onto another unsuspecting sucker.

Exactly. You know what I would do if my car was a lemon? I'd fucking sell it to poor people. That's what I'd do. He's an unethical car owner. He's perfect. So he also has another suggestion. Just in case they can't

cut the price in half like no one can in America and sell it. If you don't like that, get a bunch of believers to come in there and go room by room and anoint every room, plead the blood of Jesus and cast demons out.

But man, you're in for a long fight. Get out! There are plenty of houses. Why live in a haunted house? Why believe in a haunted house, you fucking goob? God, you've got to have a bunch of fucking believers over, too. That's the other problem, you know? They're just going to walk around with fucking bad haircuts and skinny jeans.

I don't know how that's going to help. I love the fact that the only way that God's going to listen to you and your unwavering faith is if you fill your house with other idiots and shout at them. Like that's the only way. And Cecil, it doesn't even work very well because he's like, you're in for a long fight. Why would I be in for a long fight? Can I just ask one time? fight why would I begin for a long fight can I just ask one time what is it like I gotta wear God down like asking you know like to spend the night at a friend's house when I was a kid what in the world would I possibly need once once I invoke God right I invoke I know the all the

power that's like that's like seriously it's like, hey, who would win in a fight, Godzilla or an egg? It's a crazy, outrageous mismatch. Wait, how big's the egg? Akbar, Akbar, Allah, Akbar, Allahu, Akbar, just little Allah. Thank you, Chicago. So this story comes from International Business Times. A British woman gets 20 years in Iran's toughest jail for insulting Islam and Ayatollah Khomeini. for insulting Islam and Ayatollah Khomeini. A British man who went to Iran in search for his missing wife discovered her languishing in prison at the start of an enormous 20-year sentence.

Roya Nobakat has been jailed for a Facebook post. When they call it, they say that it's Iran's toughest jail. Shouldn't we just say it's like a jail in Iran? I know, right? Do you have to go out of your way to say it?'s 3 a.m in the morning man that's some fucking redundancy right there this does sound like a nightmare it's a mixed i know mixed facility can you imagine jesus in iran yeah being a british person in iran who insulted Islam. Huh?

In a, I mean. That sounds like a raping. I got to tell you, man, and I'm not even fucking around. Like, I would just kill myself. I mean, that's not a life. 20 years in an Iranian prison? Yeah. I don't have any interest in that.

Like, I have fucking, it's just like, okay, well, I'm done with that. i have fucking they're just like okay well i'm done with that i'm fucking unbelieving i know i keep saying this but i just i'm flabbergasted but but i just how unbelievably insecure are you that i can yep insult your god like your god is just like i can't imagine what one of my son's friends right if one of my son's little friends came over is there anything they could say that would hurt my feelings like if one of them came over like you're fat it'd be like well you're honest yeah yeah i mean right it'd be like you're perceptive yeah right you know i mean i can't imagine what what one of one of my son's friends could do yeah that would hurt my feelings so bad that i'd want to be like i'm'm going to punch you in the face or like send

you to prayer or punish you or anything. I just, I'm bigger than that physically and otherwise. It's absolutely super childish though. You're totally right. That that's that when you say, like if a kid came over and did so, cause it's, that's essentially what it is. It's like, these people are like little children and see, you know, your, your political leaders should be able to stand up on their own and if it's an inflammatory comment it's a flammatory comment it doesn't have any merit but if it's got merit and you know the political leader wants to defend himself against a facebook post facebook then maybe he should defend himself against a facebook post and you

shouldn't i don't know take away 20 years of somebody's life. I can't, I mean, it's just, it's baffling that that's, that that's a thing that happens over there. But you know, like that's, that's the thing though, right? Is like, you know, there's a reason why she's getting 20 years. It's most likely that she's getting 20 years for the Khomeini thing. But the idea here is that, is that it's all about the insulting of Islam. I mean, that's why it's, that's why it's a new story. It's until your religion can stand up on its own two feet and not jail people who break its tenants or insult it or leave it. I'm not,

I, I can't consider that a civilized religion. I just can't do it. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. So this story comes from Charisma News.

Breaking news, spiritual perspective. John Piper watching nudity on shows like Game of Thrones is re-crucifying Christ I'm sure it's just like that on Friday's edition of the Ask Pastor John webcast, Pastor John

Piper was asked, Pastor John do you believe there's a difference between film nudity versus pornography? And he said yes full frontal and penetration He said, yeah, he's like, in porn, women make a glug, glug, glug sound when they perform fellatio.

In regular movies, the mascara doesn't run. Yeah, exactly. And you know, all sex ends with a facial, right? That's the only difference, right? Yeah, and ass to mouth is sort of warmly accepted as well. I love this guy. I wish that he had have gotten up and, you know, this is a webcast.

I wish that he had have gotten up and demonstrated a few things that Christ would have been recrucified over. You know, like when I rub myself on my nipple counterclockwise, that is re-crucifying Christ. When I lick my finger suggestively and slowly insert it into my anus, that is re-crucifying

Christ. When I grab Kurt Cameron's banana, that is re-crucifying Jesus. You know, I wonder if he's, because I don't think he's actually, he's not saying that you're actually re-crucifying Christ.

He says, if we choose to endorse or embrace or enjoy or pursue impurity, we take a spear and ram it into Jesus' side every time we do. So maybe it's just like, when you stick your finger in your ass, that's nailing his hand to the cross and when you you know suggestively tweak your own nipple that might be his foot you know i mean like

it's each part each part of you fondling yourself in some way is the in essence putting him on the cross in you know in part or in a hole mostly in a hole mostly in a hole somewhere yeah the interesting thing is you know the know, the spear in the side was effectively the nicest thing that the Romans ever did for Jesus. It's like, you know, we stick you up on this cross so that you can die really, really slowly, and then one Roman soldier says, oh, fuck this. That guy is in agony.

I can't watch this. This is awful. Walks up with his spear uh thrust it into his side the guts spill out jesus dies pretty quickly so it was probably the nicest thing that it being nice maybe wasn't you know maybe that wasn't his plan maybe he's like that little jagoff kid who sticks his finger in every cake he can you know like he's like he's like like he's just walking by stabbing people maybe he was just a malcontent who didn't, you know, it really wasn't his intent. But it turns out.

This is how to do the Doubting Thomas the right way. All I can think is that if every time you look at boobies, Jesus gets another spear in him. The invention of the internet basically turns him into a pincushion. Yeah, no shit. Like, that's it. He's a fucking porcupine at this point. Are you kidding me? How many times have Games of Thrones been watched at this point?

It's millions and millions. There's not even a place left to put a spear. Yeah, just a mushy pile of flesh now, basically. Aren't we all fucking made naked? It's not like we're born with like a strategically placed fig leaf right it's like when you're born you pull a kid out like oh the fig leaf is right over the genitals you know what i mean no we're all naked so i don't understand what what is the big deal with being nude what is the big deal we have what is this fixation we have on making sure

that you know we never see any nudity. I mean, this guy must really get pissed if his kids watch National Geographic. You know what I mean? With like the big nanner titties that they have. They walk around with little floppers and they walk around. You know, Cecil, you know, two weeks ago when my son was born and they like, they handed his screaming, you know, soggy little body over to me and all, like, filled with the joy and wonder of bringing a new life in the world. And then I looked down, and I saw his penis, and I fucking just dropped him. I'm like, oh, gross, fuck.

Ew. That's disgusting. Come on, thing. He bungeed on that umbilical cord. See, this is like penetrating Jesus. And I looked at the doctor, and I was like, God, what do you want me to fuck Jesus next? Ridiculous. How dare you, sir?

Jesus makes a glug, glug, glug sound when he goes down on you. I think this guy must be one of those anti-pornography nuts. The guys who post on Twitter constantly, you know, modest is hottest. That sort of bullshit, you know, masturbators for Christ. That sort of bullshit, you know, masturbators for Christ,

that sort of thing. I'd join that team. I'm on the varsity for that, I think. Do you like Jesus? Yes. Do you like masturbating? Well, we have a hashtag for you. Masturbators for Jesus. Oh my God, that's amazing.

I think every tweet from now on, like, we'll have that on there. No matter what. There you go. This has replaced Glory Hole. From now on, it's just Best of Meters for Jesus. But, yeah, no, I think this is the kind of guy that sees a little bit of skin and gets so prolifically turned on that he just feels as though he needs to

whack one out right there and feels an aversion to that so he's basically got an aversion to something that he doesn't like making it so much more intensified uh so i think that that is his issue with it i don't think uh but and then he's and then he's giving it to everybody else as well he's basically saying you know because i have this severe aversion to pornography because it makes me feel good, I'm going to make everybody else feel bad because I feel bad. But it's only religion that can give you an aversion to things that you like. In all the rest of the world, things that you like, you just like. Right. If you just if you just take that religious crap out of the way, all the rest of the world, things that you like, you're like, I just I like that.

Like, I like soccer. I like whatever. You know, I like fucking cake, whatever it is. It's only fucking cake. It's just like, I like that. That must be terribly wrong and must make tiny deities sad for me or whatever. Like, what kind of ridiculous shit is this i can't imagine a world where you're like man that was fucking awesome i hate it

but that is pretty much what he's saying and and you know uh game of thrones has some ridiculously nice breasts yeah no kidding they spared no expense on those. I'll tell you, they do a lot of money on CG and a lot on breasts. Where should we spend our money this week? Dragons or boobs? Fuck it, we'll ask for a loan. We'll do it both. Can the dragons have boobs? I'm just asking. Yeah, I think they really missed out on a market there. So, Jake, you got anything big coming up lately oh i mean well if that isn't a euphemism i don't know what is no he said big yeah yeah we know you jake i did say big and i specified who's been telling

stories um yes absolutely so uh this coming wednesday the 2nd of July, for listeners that are in Brisbane in Queensland or who might be thinking of coming to Brisbane in Queensland, the imaginaryfriendsshow.com podcast, my show, is doing a live show with Ross Belch from the Skeptically Challenged podcast. It's like a warm-up gig for what we're doing, Brisbane Skepticamp, which is in effectively one month. Or rather, it's only in about 20 days. Oh, my gosh.

So, yes, we're doing this warm-up gig in Brisbane. It's at the Plough Inn at South Bank at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, the 2nd of July. It'll be a good, fun podcast, plenty of interaction with the audience. I've done a few live shows before and they've always been absolutely awesome. I'll have a couple of my books there. So if you're interested in picking up a copy of my book, bring a lot of money and I'll sign it for you.

And then also, guys, Breeze Skepticam, as I mentioned, it's the 19th of July. It's at the Hamilton Town Hall in Hamilton in Brisbane. That is going to be awesome. Just a full afternoon of skeptics and atheists presenting on the topics that they know best. There will be two live podcasts, one from me and Ross and then the other one from Ross and me.

So it will be really good fun. We're really looking forward to it. If you are interested in that one, I believe we only – I think there's only like two seats left. And I think – so there will be probably about 150 odd people there um for most of the day uh so if you are interested in doing that you've got to get in fast it's briz skepticamp.org uh so it's pretty awesome that sounds great i do i i just got one tiny little correction and i hate to do this because it's kind of embarrassing for you australians but it's brisbane i just i wanted

i just want to point this out we had to correct ross too so you know our listeners might not understand where this is at unless you call it it sounds like you're saying bris yeah you know what you do to a child that's it to a jew to chop the tip off their penis. Yeah, that's the etymology of that word. Yeah, that's a good way to remember it for you from now on. Literally, it is cutting the end, you know, the tip off the penis. And you're against it. So it's brisbane. So there you go.

We get it. There you go. The bane of bris. Yeah, you totally bane that stuff. Well, that's awesome, Jake. Good luck with those shows. That sounds great. Who's going to be speaking at your big skepticamp thing? Is there going to be anybody that we would know? Probably not people that's awesome, Jake. Good luck with those shows. That sounds great. Who's going to be speaking at your big skeptic camp thing?

Is there going to be anybody that we would know? Probably not people that you know, but certainly people that the Australian skeptics would know. Not at all. So one of my very good friends, Holly Worland, she's been on the podcast many, many times. She'll be presenting her research. She's recently done her master's thesis on autism spectrum disorder. So she'll be presenting her results as she goes into the lead up for her PhD. We've got Peter Bodich, who is a huge name in the Australian skeptic movement. He was basically

the one dude who brought down the Australian vaccination network in Meryl Dory. That's awesome. So he is huge. Do you remember a couple of years ago Meryl Dory was putting anti-violence orders onto people who disliked her basically? Did you hear that story? I vaguely remember it, yeah.

Or apprehended violence orders I think they're called. Well, he was basically the one that she took the AVOs, the Apprehended Violence Orders, out against. Wow. So he's a pretty big name to a fair extent in the Australian skeptics scene. But there's a lot of other skeptics, scientists, atheists, and as I said, Ross and I will be there as well. We're not great, but, you know, we're okay.

But it'll be a really fun, entertaining, and absolutely informative event. It's going to be awesome. Very cool. I'm really looking forward to it. Very cool. And if people are going to find your podcast, where would they look? ImaginaryFriendsShow.com.

And definitely if people are interested in finding out more about the event this coming Wednesdaynesday the uh the second uh you can check it out on my twitter feed i'm at jake far wharton awesome so figure out how to spell that you motherfuckers thanks for joining us jake it's always a blast i love you too, Jake. So we want to thank our patrons for donating. We have several brand new patrons. We have Michael, Robert, Kifri, Thomas, James,

Alexi, Nancy, Michael T, and Jonathan. Thank you guys so much for donating. Your money goes a long way to making sure this show is possible. Thank you guys so much for donating. Your money goes a long way to making sure this show is possible. Thank you very much. You're very generous to us. Thank you. Got a message from Brian Tom.

He has an interesting thing that he's doing. He's doing an Iron Man for Doctors Without Borders. So the full Iron Man is a 2.4 mile swim. A 112 mile bike ride, and then a full marathon. Good Lord. So 17 hours to complete that.

Oh, my God. Brian is doing that. I can't imagine. I couldn't do that in a vehicle. I know. I mean, that's unbelievable. If you had a submarine, a small jet, and then like... Yeah, I have no idea.

I mean, I am fucking exhausted reading the word Iron Man. Like, when I went to go see the movie Iron Man, I broke out in a sweat. But anyway, he's doing this to raise money in this event with Team Doctors Without Borders. Doctors Without Borders. Doctors Without Borders is an organization that we have supported with the generous donations of our patrons and the generous donations of our listeners previously. And Cecil and I have supported with our own money. So it's a cause that we believe in very much. This is a great cause.

It's very cool. Does he have a link, Cecil? There's a link at the bottom here. I'm going to put it on this episode. This is episode 160. link at the bottom here. I'm going to put it on this episode. This is episode 160. So if you look for that on dissonancepod.com, episode 160, I'll put a link to his Iron Man for Doctors Without Borders. He's looking to try to raise about 4K for himself to run it. So if you feel like you want to donate to Doctors Without Borders, this is a great way to do it. And you get a chance to help him reach his goal. So good luck, Brian. send us a picture of you exhausted at the finish line i cannot even imagine we got a message from

henry and henry says listen to your latest episode we announced you're probably maybe possibly hosting a picnic he's like i love picnics i pick the shit out of any nick there is but uh you were a bit hesy on the location. I heard forest and Chicago area. I know you live in a neighborhood and I wouldn't want to cause you any access difficulty with the organization process. But how about relocating a teeny bit? I'm thinking Espoot, Finland. Espoot, Finland.

That's a place. Espoot. It says Lake Bodum. Bodum. Bodum. Bodum. Bodum. Bodum. I think Bodum sounds better because it's like a ball gag when you're at the lake, but I guess Bodum is different than Bodum. You know, it's interesting when you start typing Lake Bodum

into Google, the first thing that comes up is the Lake Bodum murders. Oh. Yeah. So that sounds great. We'll definitely be sure never to do thanks for trying to lure us over there henry wow yeah dick we got a couple messages from people who are essentially like i'd love to come to the picnic but uh clearly i live very far away yeah our show uh reaches uh you know everywhere the internet

does and sometimes that's really far away and And we understand it's just an afternoon. So the idea that anybody would bother to take a flight in seems like a lot of work for an afternoon of badly made beer and food. Of us. Can you imagine that? I wouldn't fly to see me. Yeah, I wouldn't fly. And I am me.

So clearly, it's really just a local thing. But thanks for thinking of us. We got a message from David in Kentucky. And David says he found a Bible verse, Deuteronomy 10. And it reads, circumcise the foreskin of your heart. I think that's great. That's pretty great. Yeah.

That's awesome. The foreskin of your heart, Cecil. We got pretty great. Yeah, that's awesome. The foreskin of your heart, Cecil. We got a message, Tom, from Carlos. Still listening after all these years. Yeah, Long Black Cock, Long Black Cock Carlos sent us a message. And we're just happy that you're still listening, Carlos. Thank you. We got a message from Keith, and Keith has a couple of links to his music. He had said,

you know, he's wanting to use my music, feel free. You know, Keith, like we say, we rarely have an opportunity to utilize music, but if we do have a chance, I'm going to put this in the source folder for our show. So if we come across something that we can use, we'll certainly use it. Thanks for sending it in, Keith. That's very nice of you to do. Yeah, man, that's awesome. Thanks so much. You know, to all the people that have sent us music in the past, if we don't use it, please don't be offended.

We just don't necessarily have a way to incorporate it into the show in a way that makes sense for us and that honors your efforts. So that's not to say that we don't listen to it and don't appreciate it. We do. Thank you. We got a message from Shujian and he has a podcast. It's not a podcast. It's a vlog cast. Pardon me. And it's called Holy Crap. And he asked us if we would want to come on. We responded with, yeah, we just got to find a time that works because your recording times are pretty difficult for us to attend but we want to thank uh shujin for the uh for the invite and we will put a link to uh to his work the uh holy crap vlog cast on this episode show notes episode 160 this upcoming monday we're going to be recording with Bob Blazkowicz. He is an advocate against Brzezinski, and Brzezinski just recently got allowed back by the FDA,

and he's going to come on and talk about how Brzezinski might still be producing some things and doing things because it looks like he got cleared again. So we want to talk to Bob about this. We're also going to see if maybe we could talk a little bit of conspiracy stuff because that's Bob's forte. But we're going to have him on hopefully on Monday. That show should be out, we hope, around Thursday. Yeah, check that out. We've had Bob on before as a guest. He's a great guest. He's very knowledgeable. And the Brzezinski issue is an issue that's actually actionable as skeptics and is very important. So please take a look at that and take a listen to that when it comes out. We got a message from Amanda, Tom, and I'm going to read it. It says,

Glory Hole. That's the weirdest way I think I've ever started off an email. Yeah, everyone is in the same boat, I'm sure. Think about how, you know, you think about how it is to write it. Amanda, think about how it is to get it. Anyway, she says, I'll just get right to it. I've been listening to your backlog and I made it to the episodes around the election time in 2012. While listening to one of them, I realized, holy crap, in the 2016 election is

going to be the first election that I'm able to vote in. I am completely unprepared. I live in a swing state and familiar with the barrage of calls, junk mail, TV ads, etc. that come in the year before the election. I also know that most of the ads do a lot of talking, but don't say shit. So my question is to you, how do you stay informed during an election?

Any other suggestions for a first time voter? The first my suggestion to any first time voter is do your research. Absolutely do your research. Absolutely. Do your research. You may find that, you know, just because somebody is a Democrat, they may not be somebody for you. I did a lot of research in the in the gubernatorial elections here and in the several of the past gubernatorial elections. I have not voted for either party.

I have found that either both of the major parties, the the the Republican and Democrat parties had no candidate that I thought was even worthy of office. So I wound up voting green in both of those because I did enough research where I found that it just was not worth it. Now, sometimes it's gonna be harder to do research. We get a full page ballot in Chicago. It's just this enormous page.

We have to do tons of judges and things. So that may be difficult for you. There are some sites for that, but a lot of times those are legal sites. So that may be difficult for you. There are some sites for that, but a lot of times those are legal sites. So that may be difficult for you to navigate. But one place that I try to go to for the big names, PolitiFact, I think, is a great place to go. I think PolitiFact has, you know, they're an independent place and they actually do cite the things that people say.

So when you say something and you're quoted as saying something, they will cite it. They will look it up, and they will decide whether it's false or not false. And sometimes it's so false they call it pants on fire. It's so false. So you need to check out that site. That's a good one. Tom has one, too, that he goes to. Yeah, I like votesmart.org.

I like votesmart because it will give you any candidates, you know, give you their press releases, you know, give you how they were rated. So, for example, you can see how the National Rifle Association rated them, what percentage they were given. You can see, like, you know, how did they do with women's groups? How do they do with, you know, the environmental groups? So issues that are important to you are generally advocated by some kind of lobbying group. And you can see how they rate that candidate. So, you know, you can kind of rely on like the National Audubon Society, for example, to do some of that work for you. VoteSmart.org also will let you look at specific votes.

You know, say this person voted yay on this issue, voted nay on that issue. So it's a really good, concise way to take a look at a candidate in, you know, one or two pages and get a real sense or a real feel for who they are, what they stand for, what kind of issues are important to you and how they fall on those issues. So that wraps it up for this week. We're going to thank Jake again for coming on. Jake has a great show called The Imaginary Friends Show Podcast. We appear on his episode, I think it's going to be two episodes in a row, with C.J. Werleman.

And it was a great show. We had a lot of fun. So if you want extra of us this week, not only will we be putting out an extra show, but you will also be able to find us on his show, TheImaginary imaginaryfriendshow.com podcast. Jake's a great guy. He's got a book you should buy. Go to his website, imaginaryfriendshow.com. Check out the stuff that he talked about for Brisbane and see if you can attend it. It looks like it's going to be a good time and Jake is always amusing. So if he puts on a live show, it's probably going to be worth watching. That wraps it up for this week.

And we are going to leave you as always with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo, alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. and express notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or from the New York Times. Judge upholds policy. Can I just interrupt?

Sorry, Tom. If it's okay with you, we might start early with CJ. Okay. And perhaps after we record with him, do you want to do one more story? Like we can still do this story. That sounds fine. But then maybe stop. Sure.

Do it with him and then we can do however many stories you want to do after. Sounds great to me. It doesn't matter what order it happens in. Beautiful. The thing is, it's just more editing for Cecil, which is like, it's like not even work for me. You know what I mean? So I'll just agree to that. And then it's as though you don't have to do anything at all.

One of these days, Cecil's going to punch me right through the internet. The most important part is that I approved it. Okay. So just so you know, I approved it. Okay. Oh, that's awesome. That is an important point. It's really the only fucking point that's awesome. That is an important point. It's really the only fucking point that matters here.

It is the only point. It's the only point that matters.