Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 165: The Most Courteous Dinosaur

Episode Date: July 21, 2014

    Adam Reakes Podcast - The Herd Mentality   Episode 67:   Play our Mad Libviticus!

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Alright gents, it's Dave Thomas here. Not the one from Wendy's. Just listening to your most recent podcast. And I haven't stopped picturing you and Tom fucking ever since.

Glory up. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Morning from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago. This is Cognitive Distance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 165 of Cognitive Dissonance, and we have nobody as a guest. Again. So they were gracious enough to not appear again. Cecil. Sir, not appearing in this movie. Not part of this production.

this movie not not part of this production this is like a uh this is like a movie where you're your own best boy you're the you're the key grip you're the gaffer let me tell you i gaff myself all the time hey i've got a hell of a key grip i'll tell you that much that's honed over years of practice my good friend no kidding so the first story we're going to cover comes from the Raw Story. Minnesota, this guy's very familiar. I think he's going to be a regular guest on this program. Minnesota Republican candidate with weird ideas about AIDS also thinks dinosaurs lived with man. So the fucking goober nut from last week, the Republican congressional candidate, his name is Bob Fry. He's the same idiot who thought that sperm had fucking

like welder's goggles and enzymes and fucking burned their way into the egg. It had a fucking laser on the front. Right. It's like a TIE fighter just shoots its way in.

Every sperm was infected by Dr. Evil. Like it's a fucking sharks with laser beams. But now he is testifying. Testifying, I might say. In front of the State Senate Education Committee. When did this happen? This happened in 2004, but it's hilarious now. Oh, okay.

So he was opposing the inclusion of the theory of evolution. Jesus Christ. Big shock, right? So what he did is he brought in a plastic bone. Yeah, that's, what? Wait. And a plastic bone, dude. And I'm not talking like a plastic flesh.

Yeah, right. Like a plastic bone. And then he brought this thing in and he said that this plastic bone was indicative of evidence of giants. Like, because you know the Bible says there used to be giants, right? There used to be

actual giants. So he had a fucking big giant plastic femur. And he's like, yeah, this isn't like a real one, but isn't like a real one. But if there was a real one and it looked like this, then there would be giants. So evidently the giants were made of plastic. You know, he also says, actually, why don't we just play him? Let's just play what he has to say.

This is the Fry guy, Walder Fry. Is that his name? He's going to be on. He's going to talk about stuff. I hate to say it, but humans probably evolved from bacteria that lived more than 4 billion years ago. But that's not what we find on the fossil record. This 16 foot tall giant was found with numerous others around the world. Dinosaurs have always lived

with man. Is the rock wrong or is the theory wrong? I suggest to you that the theory is wrong. Dinosaurs have always lived with man. Here's a plesiosaur that washed up on the beach in Nova Scotia in 2002. This is a juvenile that also washed up on the beach in Lake Erie. Shut your fucking mouth.

Shut your poor mouth. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. The fucking the thing just washes up on shore and that doesn't make fucking international news. Right. Well, you know, the only one who was told was Bob Frey. Like they just any time. No.

I mean, see, the thing is that there is a conspiracy afoot. Right. Right. That whenever dinosaurs, you know, corpsey dinosaurs wash up on the shore of inland lakes in North America, such as Lake Erie, the first thing they do is call Bob Frank. And he just takes their femur. He just rolls up. You know, I got to say, of the dinosaurs,

the plesiosaur is the most courteous of all of them, I think. They're the most courteous. He aims to please. You know, I want to meet the thank you-asaur. Where's that one? Right, right. The excuse

me-asaur. Excuse me-asaur. That you can hold the fucking door open for me next time-a-saur. The excuse me-a-saur farts a lot. You know, just a farting dinosaur. I've been called worse. Hell, I've been called worse by better, so fuck you too. Yeah, like I, you you know maybe i'm wrong maybe a fucking plesiosaur fucking washed up on some shore but i don't think so you know the first time you know i've never

heard you know a modern day i don't think there's an asaur around if there really were dinosaurs swimming around an inland lake in the middle of North America, like fucking fucking splashing around one of the most well-traveled lakes in all of America, like a lake known for its fucking fishing and recreating and commerce. And there's a fucking dinosaur in it, like an actual fucking dinosaur. Then why isn't there fucking Jurassic Park style dino tourism? And there's a fucking dinosaur in it. Like an actual fucking dinosaur. Then why isn't there fucking Jurassic Park style dino tourism? Why is it that I don't find a Sasquatch riding a plesiosaur? Why is that? Because I would pay to see that.

I would pay money to see that. It would make the Great Lakes worth visiting. Then they would actually be Great Lakes. It wouldn't just be flyover states anymore. You wouldn't be like, oh, yeah, we're just going to zip across Lake Erie because, you know, who cares about Lake Erie? You'd be like, hey, we're going to America. You want to go look at the dinosaurs? Yeah. People would be like, the Grand Canyon?

Fuck the Grand Canyon. Anyone seen any goddamn dinosaurs lately? Are you kidding me? They would invent entire, like, submarine subcultures built around the idea of fucking touring around fucking Lake Erie looking at goddamn dinosaurs. And why would we have never caught one? With all the commercial fishing in Lake Erie and all of a sudden you're just like, oh yeah, one just washed up on the beach. I could see

something like that, right? Because shit goes down deep, we don't go there or whatever. But the fact is again, I'm agnostic to the idea of a fucking Loch Ness type monster. I don't fucking care if they exist. I don't care if they don't exist. I don't think that they exist

because there's no fucking evidence for them. But if there was a fucking, if there was one next week that ran for president, I'd be like, okay, fair enough. Fucking, there's a fucking plesiosaur. I'm good with it. He's got a surprisingly well-developed platform. And he's got a wonderful top hat that he just,

I mean, you got to get that thing made at a haberdasher though, because he's got a big fucking head. You know what I mean? He's got to go, but, and the tuxedo on him. And he's got a wonderful top hat. I mean, got to get that thing made out of haberdasher, though, because he's got a big fucking head. You know what I mean? He's got to go. And the tuxedo on him. That thing's always getting wet. It's always getting wet. His tailor, I mean, his tailor's a saint, really. I have to put up with that.

And how do you get in the sleeves? How do you fit those big, flat fucking things through the sleeves and not tear them? I don't know. He's just amazing. It's not the sleeves that are so bad it's the cufflinks you know like they really have to you know like this is what passes off as proof though right i have a physical thing you know just like i have a thing it's a bone and just be like and it's so funny if you listen to the fucking audio because the guy's just like is that like a real bone? Like one of the fucking people asked, is that like a real like blazey star bone? He's like, no, no, it's just a replica bone, you know?

Okay, so then it doesn't mean anything anyway. It's just a child's toy. I got it at the field museum. So it's just pretty much a big fake bone. This is actually a prehistoric pogo stick. It's actually, you should see the size of the dog, you know? That's the bone. This is actually Bam Bam's club, so I don't know.

He throws it and fucking Clifford the Big Red Dog retrieves it. And on his back is a giant. Well, yes, because there's 16-foot giants. See, so there's 16-foot tall human beings that are evidently extinct. Like, they didn't make the cut. No. It was too tough, you know? Yeah, they didn't make it into the arc because the rooms were too small.

You know what I mean? Like, the thing is you really have to go out of your way to design rooms for the 16-foot tall. It's a difficult, you know what I mean? And Noah, he was just a boat builder. He wasn't like a fucking good boat builder. He couldn't make really big rooms, evidently. But he fit fucking elephants in there, so he just

didn't bother to bring two giant humans with him. Right, he just picked short humans. He's just like, do I want to get them from the big and tall shop or just from regular kind? I think this kind of shit clearly shows a bias on Noah's part. Right. He's fucking tallest.

If that's a thing. He's the tallest. Dick. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black coat. Long black coat. So this story comes from thespeaker.co. 42%, 42% of Muslims polled by Pew Research think suicide bombing and other violence against civilians are at least occasionally, occasionally justified, Cecil. And then when you take a look at the breakdown of Muslims in, you know, different parts of the world as to when they think that suicide bombing is justified, at least on occasion.

You know, not all the time, but, you know, for a special occasion when it calls for it. It's pretty fucking unsettling. Like, it's basically like a laundry list of, like, if the answer is ever above 1%, that's a country you just don't want to go to. Like, when I look at this and it's like Bangladesh, 61% of Muslims. Like, I'm just not going to swing over to Bangladesh. Yeah, no kidding. How about this picture? Jesus Christ, looks like somebody fucking threw, like, it not going to swing over to Bangladesh. Yeah, no kidding. How about this picture? Jesus Christ, it looks like somebody fucking threw, like,

it looks like the end of Fargo. Like, somebody just got shoved in a wood chipper, and they just shoved, like, shot that shit all over the place. I gotta ask, okay, is there anybody who thinks that violence against civilians is justified? I mean, other than, like, people clearly polled here, but, I mean, you don't think that, do you?

No, I can't. I mean, there's, no, no. I mean, well, that's a harder question than it appears on the front, right? Is it ever justified? You know, was it justified in World War II? Because there was a tremendous amount of violence against civilians during the World Wars. You know, they bombed, you know, munitions factories

and whole cities. I mean, fucking firebombed all of fucking Tokyo and Dresden. Yeah. You know, and then the Nagasaki, you know, I mean, like, so is that justified? You know, I guess I guess that question is a little more relevant, kind of in a days gone by sort of a context when total war as a concept was being explored or played out as the global situation is concerned? No, I have a very hard time justifying violence against civilians for any reason. I mean, in 1944, maybe, but that's still just a maybe. In 2014, I have a really hard time with it. I kind of wonder if we're looking at it through a lens of military superiority,

because clearly all these countries are, you know, they don't have the military might that we have in this country to sort of impose our will in other countries. And we've done it multiple times wherever we want. Essentially, we just walk in and be like, this is how it is. And people are like, yep, we don't want to get blown up. And then they don't. So they, you know, but could you imagine, and I'm just trying to be a devil's advocate here. Could you imagine putting yourself in a sort of a country where you don't have, you feel impotent. You don't, you feel like you can't affect any change in any other way. Is there, do you think that in that way, could you ever lead yourself

down that path? Man, that's a, that's a, that's a good question. And I, I, you know, I guess, I guess my answer is going to sound like a cop out, but I don't mean it to be. And that's that I think that it would be disingenuous for me to attempt to put myself in a situation that's so culturally adversarial to where I'm at now. So in other words, I can sympathize or empathize with that position, but I don't think that I can really get there in a way that does justice to the question without insulting it. Clearly, clearly it resonates, right? So clearly there are people, in fact, 42 percent of Muslims polled in this in this research poll that would say, yeah, man, this is like this is a legitimate form of, you know, if not protest, a legitimate form of, you know, a military strategy. I don't know what else you would call this. Right. Right. Man, I have to think that that suicide bombing specifically as a tactic, that idea that you're going to strap bombs to your own person and then, you know, swing over to a bus or a cafe or,

you know, and blow up a whole bunch of people who've got fucking nothing to do with this, man, there's something else going on there. It's, it's hard not to think that there is. I put myself, I tried to put myself in that position today when I was reading this story thinking, you know, what if I was in that position? And my very first reaction when I, when I read this was, I don't think violence against civilians is ever justified. And then I started thinking about it, you know, maybe if I was on their position, maybe I might have a different opinion. But I think that what this leaves out, and what I think the reason why this is important is there's a level of empathy that you lose when you are a religious zealot.

Yeah. There's a level of empathy that you just because you automatically believe that someone deserves what they're getting. We see this all the time with homosexuals in this country. Right. We see, you know, you know, if we don't we want to judge them and tell them that they're doing wrong and tell them that they're doing bad things. And we don't really care if bad things happen to them. We don't care if they have rights because they're doing something bad and it's bad in our eyes. And we just don't have any sympathy for their situation. The same thing with women who want to get an abortion, right? These people think they're doing something awful and evil.

And so therefore they don't deserve any sort of any sort of empathy. Right. Like empathy for their situation where you're just like, hey, what if you were, you know, 14 and pregnant by your dad or something? You know what I mean? Like, you know, they can't put themselves there because they automatically think this person is evil. I wonder if there is something to that and religion, you know, like I wonder if religion opens that door a little easier than than just if you were just secular. Well, OK, so I'm going to just say yes to that. And here's and here's why. But considered a considered yes, because I think what what religion does is it builds and and and fosters and maintains a narrative of the chosen and the infidel. And that narrative is politically exploited, but it has to exist in order for it to be exploited first. And when you have a narrative of the chosen and the infidel, whether as long as you're one of the chosen and they are the infidel,

then you can create that barrier. You can create that separation that redefines civilians as enemies, that redefines civilians as the other and as something less than. component, you know, the eternal reward, the pleasing of your master, all of that sort of nonsensical religious bullshit that plays into the idea of like a suicide bombing, of martyrdom. Martyrdom doesn't make sense to me. I can't, I cannot make sense of martyrdom to save my fucking life. I cannot make sense of martyrdom to save my fucking life. Martyrdom doesn't work.

But martyrdom would work if I really, truly, in my heart of hearts, felt that I was going to please a power greater than myself and build a better eternity for myself and my family. Like, if I really thought that was something, Cecil, that could possibly occur, then martyrdom all of a sudden moves out of the realm of the ridiculous and into the realm of the transcendent. And it has to exist within that realm in order for it to be exploited. So I think that they're part and parcel, right? You have to have the narrative. You have to have all these pieces in play in order for, you know, really the power brokers to exploit the vulnerable. And I think that that's generally who these suicide bombers are.

Tell you what, if I'm going to blow myself up, it better be a real nice gift basket in heaven. I mean, you know, we're talking Harry and David here. You know what I mean? Like you better spare no expense. Yeah, none of that cheap waxy chocolate. Oh, God. Like, this is the good stuff. This is like you pick it up and it fucking melts on your fingers. Yeah, exactly.

You know? You pick it up and it's virginal, you know? And none of that fucking white chocolate, because that's fucking liar's chocolate. That is the worst shit ever. I'm here to be trained. I'm here for an education. I'm willing, God. I'll do what you want me to do.

I'll say what you want me to say. I'll say what you want me to say. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name. Amen. So this story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. Child abuse at Christian boot camps exposed after survivors speak out. This is a story that also is kind of coinciding with a movie that's coming out, or is out rather, called Kidnapped for Christ.

Jesus. I know, man. It's a movie we'll probably see, called Kidnapped for Christ. Jesus. I know, man. It's a movie we'll probably see, or at least I'll see. And, God, if I can stomach it, I'll report on it, I guess, or we can talk about it. I also watched, Cecil, that God Loves Uganda movie not that long ago. Yeah. So, like, if you just want to, like, hate your life,

you could do, like, a double feature of this movie and that movie, and then serve it up with some razor blades afterwards right just and then fucking finish it off with little fucking dessert of jesus camp and then you can just fucking rock back and forth having lost all hope for humanity um but this is basically the kidnap for Christ is basically a story or an expose documentary, what have you, about survivors of these church camps. These church camps are not like happy-go- lucky, you know, fun times in the woods. This is like ship

your kids off to the Dominican Republic. Maybe you'll see them in 18 months where they're terribly abused during their stay, sexually exploited, so on and so forth. It's all the shit you think that would happen to them. Like if you were a rational, cynical human being in 2014. It's like a boot camp from what I saw.

Like it looked like there was just like really strict disciplinarians making them fucking put their nose in a corner and then make them do push-ups and run and be just like try to fucking i don't know crossfit the gay out of them or something i don't even i don't even know what i don't like i seriously have no idea how that works in my opinion that would make them more gay right i'd be like i'm more fit they're hotter i'm just i'm just i fucking look at my muscular body i'm going to the club you know what i mean like i don't even i can't even figure out how that even works the thing the thing that always resonates with this shit, with these people who, you know, have a kid and then they, they, their kid has gay tendencies

and they're just like, fucking, I will let someone kidnap my child. Like these are people who just think that they can make a new kid. They don't. And they think they own their kids. Right. Anybody who thinks that a child is not an autonomous creature, you know what I mean? Like it doesn't understand human beings. They just don't. I mean, and they probably shouldn't be parents. Right.

I can't imagine that it's a good idea to be like, oh, yeah, I just fucking I made him. And now he just does whatever I say. And if he doesn't, I beat him repeatedly. It's like fucking every kid is Igor. Well, you end up with a hunchback after having to carry all this shit. Yeah. You know, you bring up a good point about owning your kid. Right.

Because that's I mean, that's part that's a big part of what this comes down to, because you can't you can't treat somebody as a full and autonomous human being and still ship them off to a camp. You have to take a look at this like you read through the article and you know a lot of the a lot of the so-called counselors are untrained young people also teenagers or early 20-somethings and I just like I look at this and i think man maybe i'm a big sucker maybe i'm a big fucking softy and that's probably the case but i simply cannot imagine being like well i'm not gonna see my kid for a fucking year year and a half he's in the hands of a bunch of untrained people in a different country hopefully he'll come back

and everything will be good i don't see what could go well adjusted there's and you know the thing is is like okay so here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna have some people break into our house and kidnap you like literally i'm not even kidding when i say kidnap i'm not saying like i'm not using that as hyperbole i'm using that as a a literal term. They're going to come in. They're going to throw a belt around you and they're going to drag you out and they're going to drag you out of this country. I'm going to be complicit in this. Then you're going to go to a very difficult

area where you're essentially going to be in a fucking gulag where you're going to have to do hard time for 18 months. They're going to make you do pushups. They're going to make you fucking eat gruel and they're going to make you hate your fucking life. And when you come back, you're going gonna give me a hug i know like how like that's gonna fix our relationship cecil did you see what i got you for your birthday trauma oh boy and for christmas it's ptsd oh you shouldn't have, Dad. You're the worst parent

ever. No, really, Dad, you shouldn't have. No, I mean, you really fucking shouldn't have. It'd be like saying, oh, hey, what are we doing for Mom for Mother's Day? Oh, it's gonna be great. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna wake her up. We're gonna make her breakfast in bed, and then I'm gonna hit her with this aluminum baseball bat in the face.

And then I'm gonna execute all her kids in front of her. Right. Oh, you know, we're gonna, you know, for then I'm going to execute all our kids in front of her. Oh, you know, for Easter, we're going to buy all the kids cute little rabbits, and then I'm going to stomp them to death right in front of the kids. Won't they love me? One of the Christmas presents this year is going to be an IED, kids. Isn't that exciting? And for St. Patrick's Day, we're going to find a midget, dress him in green, and beat him to death in the backyard.

And if we can't find a midget, we're going to use your little brother. It is altogether right to discriminate against homosexual behavior. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Janet Partial says Satan is behind the opposition to ex-gay therapy. Yes, Satan. Satan is always behind the opposition to horrible shit, Cecil. You would think Satan would be its cheerleader. Satan's just like, I oppose.

Wait a minute. I oppose the opposition to ex gate i can't there's too many double negatives i can't just be can't he just be like man you know what i really kind of like this stuff it really goes out of its way to damage people and i love damage as much as possible can i just say what i'm for why do i have to be against so many things? Let's play. We have a couple of three minutes, like three minutes worth of clips.

I'm going to play. These are three different clips from this person. This is from a radio show, Janet Partial's radio show. And she's talking about Satan and ex-gay therapy. They help men and women leave the homosexual lifestyle. Why? Because they would rather obey God than meet selfish desires.

Okay? Is that too strong for you? Well, let's just start the conversation there then. And thank you so much. And obviously, we're going to go to this reparative therapy. I take umbrage with this. A part of me isn't surprised because it's a sin-sick fallen world. And anytime Satan can try to trample underfoot the truth that is the cross, he'll do it, including telling people that they can't change.

You, however, are my expert witness because you changed, as did I. So that really should be the end of the discussion. But nope, some people want to make sure that not only is this not true, but as you heard that report, Ann, you just might get suicidal if somebody tries to change you. My anecdote is the end of this discussion. My personal anecdote ends your experience. My anecdote invalidates the entirety of a lifetime or millions of lifetimes. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Well, and, you know, the thing is, is like like sex. Sexuality is a continuum. So, you know, you might be bisexual and repress that part of you. The thing is just because it can doesn't mean you should force it to. Some people are double-jointed. That doesn't mean we should

walk around fucking tearing people's arms off, you know? It's like when they used to take kids that were left-handed and force them to write with their right hand. And every time they picked something up with their left, they, you know, they'd fucking hit them and all that nonsense. I mean, they tried to force people who were left-handed to become right-handed. It just means they're fucking clumsy all the time.

Like, that's all you did. Like, you didn't make a right-handed person. You made a miserable right-handed person. Exactly, yeah. An uncoordinated, miserable right-handed person, you made a miserable right-handed person. Exactly, yeah. An uncoordinated, miserable right-handed person. All right, there's a couple more of these. So what do we have here? We have a machine. A machine that has an end goal in mind to ban care because once you're gay, you cannot be allowed to change, period. Is it abuse? I think they're abusing these kids. And when I, I'm very emphatic here. I hope you can hang on with me, but the reason why I'm so emphatic is basically

what is the, the governments are now turning towards sacrificing our youth to HIV, AIDS, syphilis, and gonorrhea. Here's what you should do then. Since your kid can change from being gay, if you have a black kid, you should put him in somewhere to train him not to be black. I'm sure that would work just as well. Yeah, you should put him somewhere to be white. Or, if you have a girl, you should train him to be a boy.

That's what you should do. Right? Or, if they're tall, you should train them to be short. That's how... I think that those are the things... You know, it's like, oh, you're... You know know how come you can't change it's like well the fucking there's some things that you can't change right there's some things that people can i know i can't i know i don't care how many fucking reparative therapies you put me through i wouldn't be gay like i just would be like um i'm not a gay guy yeah right i don't care how many fucking videos you show me of dudes doing it i'm not gay and it's not going to turn me on and i don't care how many fucking videos you show me of dudes doing it. I'm not gay and it's not going to turn me on.

And I don't care how many times, you know, you sit me in a room and tell me Jesus hates me unless I'm fucking bobbing on the dick. Like, I don't it would not change my mind. I'd be like, yeah, I'm still going to be straight. I don't care what you put in front of me. I don't care how fucking clockwork orangey you get. what you put in front of me. I don't care how fucking clockwork orangey you get. It's still not going to make me, you know, be repulsed by straight sex because I'm, you know, cause I'm a straight guy and I'm turned on by straight sex. So there's nothing you could do to change that. I just don't understand, you know, I just don't understand how these people can't put themselves

in that position. I was talking about empathy earlier. Just put yourself in that position. Just say, okay, what if there was a fucking gay therapy that took, like, X straight therapy? What if there was something like that? How would I fare in that? What would that change how I think? Would I be able to walk in and just be like,

suddenly, I fucking love the rainbow. I want to seize on a couple of things here. So the first is, like you said, like, you pray away, you know, being black. I'd like to see you pray away one freckle. Like just get rid of all. Like you don't have to even turn your whole skin color or change your gender. If you can pray a single freckle off of your body, then we can at least maybe start to have part of a conversation.

But you can't even do that. Like you can't even pray away something so insignificant as a freckle. It can't be done. You can't sit in a room and just come out like, oh, look, I got rid of that fucking freckle. You can't. These things about ourselves are just part of our physicality. They're part of our they're part of our nature. And she says in this thing, she's like, you know, it's the selfish desire. It's like, motherfucker, it's not a selfish desire to want to have a meaningful sexual relationship with another human being. Like that is, you know, the only time it's fucking selfish is when it doesn't conform to somebody else's notions of what a proper sexual relationship is like. Right.

All of a sudden it's like dude likes having sex with a woman missionary style. All good. Dude likes having sex with a dude. Selfish dude. What? Why? What's, how is it more selfish? Like what, what part of that is less altruistic? Like if you're going to use that word, like, oh, it's a selfish desire. And I know what they're saying, right? That you're, you're fucking thumbing your nose at God in order to get your rocks off. And so therefore it's selfish. Well, it's like, well, it doesn't, I mean, first of all, you have to believe that whole God nonsense. like heterosexual relationships, even though their proclivity is toward homosexuality. We know that that's true. Like we've heard stories of people that, you know, have kids and get married and all that kind of good stuff. And, you know, it turns out they're gay the whole time, but they just, they just play the part. They play the acting, they play the role because the pressure is so

intense on them to conform. That's not like you didn't help somebody lead a better life. You helped somebody lead a fucking horrible life. And not only that, you fucking probably made them have a shitty fucking life with their spouse and a shitty fucking life with their kids. Like, you're not just fucking with these people. You're fucking with whole families doing this. You know, there's another clip here that I think will answer a little bit of the question of being selfish. So let me play this last one.

If somebody is overcoming anything in their life, they have the choice to continue to overcome it or to go back to their old ways. Everybody has that choice. It's no different here. You know, when it comes to overeating, I can get that under control. I can actually become, you know, the size my body was meant to be. Or I can feed it more and more and more and more and get to that 700-pound stage, right? I mean, that is unfortunately humanly possible. So what is it?

That's food. That's just food. If we take that and apply it to something like drug addiction, it's much harder, according to the stats, to overcome drug addiction than it is to leave behind homosexuality. What does that even mean? I don't know. And isn't there a reason for that? Like, it's harder to overcome a drug addiction than to overcome sexuality. Well, okay. What's your point?

Like, how do they relate? How do those two things co-relate in a way that makes that a cogent comparison? What they're talking about is gluttony, right? Like, that's all they're – it's one of those fucking seven deadly sin fucking switcheroos. You know what I mean? They're just like, it's gluttony. It's all gluttony. Whether you're doing drugs or you're doing something else or you're doing anything to excess, it's gluttony.

Well, suddenly, you know, what they're saying is, well, this this homosexual sex has an allure to these people and they're gluttonous about it. And it's just like, well, those are two things that don't make any sense. You know, first off, you're saying that it's enjoyable somehow. They're saying that, like, you know, having gay sex when you're evidently straight is more enjoyable than having straight sex, I guess. I didn't look, it doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't like none of the things you're saying makes sense because all you want to do is just make sure you demonize it as much as possible. So if you can't demonize it in one way, you'll fucking, you'll go back to the seven deadly sins and just be like, well, it's

fucking gluttonous. It's just, it's just being an awful, you're just, you're just a sad, awful person if you're having gay sex. When it's funny to treat it like a temptation, you know, like cake, right? Like, oh man, it's just like a piece of cake. It's like, yeah, except for most people like cake and about two to 3% of the population is gay. So it's not at all like cake because I'll tell you what

if you put cake in a room if you put 100 people in a room and a cake and said how many of you like cake you'd probably get 97 hands in the air if you put fucking 100 dudes in a room and said how many of you guys like having sex with dudes it's not like all of a sudden

it's like well I'm kind of tempted it's like a cake of a sudden it's like, well, I'm kind of tempted. It's like a cake. You know, I mean, are his pants off? Because if his pants are off, I'll fuck him. I'm kind of tempted. Yeah. Most people just aren't tempted. Like fucking naked dudes aren't cake.

I don't know how else to. The idea that, you know, you're a young 18 year old kid. You're wanting to have sex essentially all the time well other guys are wanting to have sex too so why aren't there more hookups right when you're that age you just be like well there's no women around fuck dude you want to fuck right if it was like that yeah if it was like that wouldn't there just be tons of who would just be like you know because what are you gonna do you're gonna go home later and beat off anyway well why not just get with a dude right right i mean it's just hey, we could both get off.

But instead, it's just like, like, it's only select people. Well, the reason why is because they're fucking gay. It's so fucking funny. The best part is when clearly gay people are making this argument, right? Because for them, it is a temptation. Yeah. Like, for them, they are struggling with it the same way that you would struggle not to overeat or not to fucking shoot

heroin or something because it's something they genuinely want. And they're then projecting that that desire that they have and the struggle that they have to live a lie, right, to repress their sexual desires and to try to manufacture sexual desires for a whole gender they're not genuinely attracted to. And this whole fucking convoluted bullshit that they have to do, and they're then projecting that like, man, don't you see how fucked up the world is? Yeah. What are you talking about?

You are like, they're like, it's a sick, fallen world. Like, nope, it's really not. Yeah. You're just fucking it up. Hey there, how's it going? All right. I saw your sign. Okay.

And I'm here for my stoning. I'm a lesbian. You guys are going to stone me? This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Peter LaBarbera says doctors who perform sex reassignment surgery should be imprisoned. Evidently, Cecil, there's something called the Janet Mefford Show. Yeah, we talked about this before. Yeah, I know.

And Peter LaBarbera was on it. Now, Peter LaBarbera represents Americans for Truth About Homosexuality. Because that's evidently required. I know, that's the name of his organization. Pretty snazzy name. Pretty good. I mean, really sweet nomenclature. Do you want to hear what the truth is?

Let's listen to what the truth is. Let's hear it. Can you imagine taxpayers having to provide these awful, and I can't even talk about them on air. I mean, this is one of the most grotesque things. Basically, I have seen firsthand, though, because of the work that I do, I have seen healthy young girls in their 20s with their healthy breasts removed, Janet, to appear like men. I'll imagine that.

I saw that on stage at a so-called transgender conference a long time ago. This was in D.C. Wait, they did it on stage? On stage? Jesus, was it like one of those auditoriums where they do surgery? Like, I hope. Well, they call it a surgical theater for a reason. Yeah.

Well, nobody dropped a junior myth in there. And it was shocking to me, and it just seemed so, I almost felt like these doctors who perform these operations, this should be illegal. These guys need to go to jail. I mean, this is almost a... Well, good thing you're not in charge. Good thing you're not in charge of anything except for this conference. This is almost the most analogous thing to the abortionist on that issue that I can think of.

These doctors exploiting these gender-confused individuals and making money off them. Imagine a woman in her 20s who thinks she wants to be a man, so she doesn't want her breasts, and to have them removed. Isn't that awful? And to pay for it as taxpayers? Shocking. He just wants to keep them. That's the problem, Cecil.

He's just mad that they're getting their breasts removed and they're not sending them to him. He's just like, isn't that just awful? They're getting those beautiful, perky little boobs removed, and I don't get any of those. removed and they're not sending them to him yeah he's just like isn't that just awful they're getting those beautiful perky little boobs removed and i don't get any of those yeah i think you just in fact if you could just mail your boobs to peter la barbara yeah americans for truth about homosexuality oh who am i kidding i'm not gonna touch boobs yeah no kidding um you know i one of those things that that really drives me nuts is is where they talk about, he talks about how he just like, like just throws in like, and it's like the abortionists.

And you're like, what is that like a fucking, is that a band name? Like, what is that? That would be a great band name. We are the abortionists. It would be a good band name. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if you could sell your tickets to Ticketmaster, but other than that, I think it'd be pretty good.

Yeah. But, you know, you just throw that in there out of nowhere. And then there's, you know, he even says a word in there, a phrase in there that I think really does sort of say that, you know, gender is very, it can be malleable he says gender confused what does that mean what does that mean to him because that means something totally different to me when i hear gender confused i think well you know this person clearly has weight like they want to go out of their way to express themselves in different ways to see which which sort of gender really fits them if that's if this is what this guy thinks then then what like why is this such a crime if people are you know making this change to their own body yeah that's the thing he doesn't he doesn't really

i was going to seize on that myself because it's something that he doesn't he never doesn't explore that right he's just he's appalled that these women are getting their breasts cut off and that's the thing. He doesn't he doesn't really I was going to seize on that myself because it's something that he doesn't he never doesn't explore that. Right. He's just he's appalled that these women are getting their breasts cut off. And that's what he keeps focusing on. So he's appalled that these women are getting their breasts cut off. But then he in the same breath, he's talking about how these women see themselves as men. And want to be men. And so they have this surgery and I'm thinking, well, then who's harmed? Like, why is it any fucking business of yours?

Like, what possible repercussions does this have that we should make this illegal? Like, how is this a social ill? It'd be like picketing a tattoo parlor. Right. Like, oh, man, look at, she's getting a fucking butterfly on her ankle, and she's going to regret that. So we should fucking jail the tattoo artist. What? What the fuck do you care if they if they you know, if she thinks she's a man and she identifies with being a man and she does not want her breasts any longer.

Do you think that that's a decision somebody comes to like on a no, I know. As if you could show up and just be like, oh, fuck, what was I going to do today? I'm out of wheat thins. Oh, cut off my breasts. That's right. I'm cutting off my. They treat it like getting fucking tickets to the architectural tour in Chicago. Right.

You're just like, what do you want to do this afternoon? I don't know. Cut my fucking balls off. Yeah, that's gone through my mind a million times. I just haven't had the opportunity to do it. You know, I'm going to go fill up the car. I'm going to go shopping. I might, you know, I don't know. I might just go for a walk on the river walk. And later on, I'm going to put my balls in a vice and saw them off. You fucking idiot. It totally neglects the totality of the medical care that's involved in sex reassignment,

in gender reassignment surgery. And also the psychiatric stuff that goes into that too, right? Yeah, there's a tremendous amount of care both before and after that's part and parcel of this. He makes it sound like you show up one day and you're like, cut off my boobies. And they're just like, no problem. Like when you go to the doctor, they just have like a

fucking mastectomy guillotine. You just stick it in there and it's like, clunk. Okay, we're just gonna sew you up over. You're good. It's like a roto zip. Yeah. there and just like, tonk. Okay, we're just gonna sew you up over. You're good. It's like a Roto-Zip. Yeah. Next.

Next. There's just a sound it makes too. It's like the old Civil War photos with like piles of legs and just piles of boobs. I would dive into that. I don't care how bloody it is.

I would stuff a pillowcase. That's morbid as shit, but awesome. I was, like, sleeping on a pile of boobs. I've never gotten such a good night's sleep. What's your boob number? It's the boob number bed. It's how many you have stuffed in there. They're good for about three days.

You've got to hermetically seal that shit. Oh, shit. That fucking bedtle stank. So we're going to take a short break, give you some information on how to contact the show, how to donate to us through Patreon, and we'll be back right after this. Want to contact the guys?

Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash dissonance pod,

or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from the Raw story. Michelle Bachman rears her extraordinarily ugly head. Michelle Bachman calls ignorant immigrant children invaders and compares them to rapists. children invaders and compares them to rapists.

Outgoing, thankfully, Representative Michelle Bachman fucking just went cuckoo talking about the undocumented immigrants arriving in the United States from Central America. She referred to them, Cecil, as invaders. I think she wanted to hide behind a shield and shoot them down. They wear gladiator armor when they cross the border. They actually, yeah, well, they have to. They drink, you know, a couple power aids and then they run across in gladiator, like, skirts.

That's, I mean, that's how it works. I don't know if you saw. Look, man, I'm just telling you what I've seen down there. And they have cantaloupe-sized calves, too. They do have cantaloupe-sized calves. That's how they can run so fast. Because they're all drug runners. They carry the drugs.

Wasn't it 75 pounds of marijuana they carried? 75 pounds of marijuana. And they have calves the size of cantaloupes. Look at those cantaloupe-calved children coming into our country with their marijuana. How dare they they stop spreading the reefers so she was on crossfire which means we can't use the audio yeah because it basically just means people yelled at each other and yelled over one another if you want to listen to people talk over each other just listen to us right there you go um i don't want to say it's better than Crossfire, but it's more free.

It's more immediate. It's less commercially interrupted. Yeah, that's true. Let's put it that way. But then she goes on to fucking try to draw a correlation between the immigrant children that are coming over. And she says, my heart is broken for a female college student in Minnesota who was raped, murdered and mutilated by a foreign national came into our country. And then she goes on. We had a school bus full of kids in Minnesota.

Four children were killed on that bus because an illegal alien driving a van went into that school bus. So basically, like what she's basically saying, like all foreign nationals can be lumped into one category. And if one of them does something bad, they are all equally responsible and equally culpable or likely to become culpable later for the crimes of previous parties. Admittedly, I do all that with Republicans. So, I mean, I can't really falter for this. One sin of one Republican is the sin of the whole party, I guess. Right. You know, one of the things that she says here, and I just, you know, I just think that, you know, how eloquent.

My tears are crying for the family members. I love that. You got to it first. If your tears are crying, your face must be really wet. Like that's, I mean, it's just like when your tears are crying, your face must be really wet. Like that's, I mean, it's just like when your tears are crying, man. I mean, your whole face is just pouring water. It's fucking, your tears are so fucking meta at that point. You have like hipster tears, you know?

I can't imagine being so sad that my tears are like, oh, fuck this. More tears. We're not sad enough. Boys, bring in the big guns. Your fucking tears are like the Mickey Mouse with the bucket, you know, like where he's like going to the well and like breaks up the brooms, the brooms and the buckets. Your tears are just like a never ending cascade. You just walk around like what happened to you you know one of the things that happens in in that they do all the time is

is the opposite of what we were talking about earlier we're talking about empathy right we're talking about i mean this is sort of like the theme of the show we were talking about empathy before and what they do is the opposite they seize on if somebody is does a bad thing immediately everyone is bad right but instead of thinking of like well if we deport fucking this dude who's just you know fucking making barely no money just trying to you know survive in america if we deport him his family's basically stuck here without a provider they don't think about that end, right? They only think about the one end that fits their narrative about how these people are awful human beings. Well, you know, there's plenty of people who, I mean, first off, there's plenty of people being deported.

So don't think that like they just show up and there's like a revolving door and there's no way to go out because we're fucking shipping, we've shipped 4 million back since Obama's's taken office and they were shipping a bunch back when bush was in a we ship them back all the fucking time so people are like oh man they just come in they just fucking no they don't because yeah i mean i'm sure they do but once they get you know like there's times there's times when they just get caught for like a traffic citation and then they're just fucking you're gone. Right. You go to you go to a detention center. They spend about six months there getting a trial and then out. You're gone. You get you put on a plane and you go back to your fucking country.

And a lot of times these people don't understand what's happening to them and they're isolated from their families. And, you know, we're essentially detaining them for living here. You know, I mean, clearly they're breaking the law. But at the same time, they're you know, most of these people are only breaking the law in the sense that they living here. You know, I mean, clearly they're breaking the law, but at the same time, they're, you know, most of these people are only breaking the law in the sense that they're here. They're not breaking the law like fucking, I just skinned fucking six people, you know, and I'm wearing their fucking face on my face. You know, these are just, you know, yeah.

Do you get ne'er-do-wells who cross the border along with regular people? Yeah, absolutely. But that just means you should fucking reform fucking immigration so you can fucking vet the people better. You know, when you just have no immigration, you're just like, nope, sorry, you guys all got, you know, if you can fucking catapult yourself into this country somehow,

then we'll let you stay. You know, instead it's just like, you know, we just, we have no immigration with the southern border. So instead it's just like, well, if you can make it over here, you stay. Well, if you don't give yourself the opportunity to vet these people, it's your own fucking fault. And isn't this idea that like we blame the group for the sins of one or two of the members of the group? The one you're picking, right?

Yeah. So but wouldn't I mean, wouldn't the logic. The one you're picking, right? Yeah. So, but wouldn't, I mean, wouldn't the logic work the other way too, though? Like, wouldn't you be able to say like, wow, like let's find a story where, you know, like a foreign national came over to the country and did something great, you know,

like pulled somebody out of a burning car. Like, are they all now equally responsible for heroism? They're all heroic. Right. You know, I mean, wouldn't it, that's equally absurd, right? Right. It's just that we do one and not the other, because one plays into the narrative of fear, like one builds on the fear mongering and one serves a political purpose and the other just sounds fucking ridiculous. ridiculous. It's just that we're not giving both of them both sides of that same logical argument equal coinage. And the idea is to make people afraid of foreigners, right? To draw again,

it's like just like the other story. It's like to draw a line, to create a barrier, to make a difference between between us and them. These are just kids like these are just fucking children. And I'm not necessarily saying like anybody who crosses the border should just automatically be given a free pass. Like, like you said, like you have to have a system that actually makes some sense. You know, you have to have a system where we acknowledge the truth of our labor market, right? And the truth of our labor market as Americans is and has always been built on the back of immigrant labor that gets paid less than a minimum or even living wage. You know, we did it with we did it with slavery.

We did it with the Chinese. We did it with the Irish. We did it with the Germans. We did it now. You know, now we're doing with the Mexicans, you know, primarily and folks from Central America. with the Mexicans, you know, primarily and folks from Central America. This is the truth of the economic labor system that this country has built on. And but we try to hide it like we try to pretend that that's not true. We try to pretend that meatpacking plants and construction jobs and migrant farm workers,

you know, that all of these goods and services that we avail ourselves of at fucking rock bottom prices. I mean, how the fuck is it I can go buy bananas for twenty nine cents a pound? It doesn't even make sense. They're fucking shipped in from another country. Like it like so much of this, so much of our systems are built on the backs of these kinds of workers. And we don't acknowledge it and we don't give them a path to citizenship. Because if we do, we have to say, yeah, we've been kind of exploiting you like slaves. Right, right. That's exactly it.

You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story comes from the raw story. Pat Robertson tells mother, your son's stomach pains are caused by a witch ancestor. Now he's just making shit up.

Wait, witch ancestor? All right, let's get this. Let's actually play Patty, Pat. All right. All right, let's get this. Let's actually play Patty, Pat. All right. All right, tough love there. All right, Diane writes, My son heard sounds that sent painful shockwaves through his body as I was praying for him, and I called on the name of Jesus. My son said it felt like something hit him very hard in the stomach.

I know this is not of God. He's a Christian. Can Christians be attacked by demons? He could be attacked by demons, and he might be oppressed or possessed by demons. I don't know anything about you. I don't know his faith. I don't know his... But it sounds like that child has something in the influence,

and you need to get somebody with you who understands the spiritual dimension and doing spiritual warfare, but you don't want some quack in there that's casting out non-existent demons wait what wait what is that what is pat robertson only practice evidence-based spiritual warfare what the fuck you wouldn't want to have just any look you got to get somebody who's fucking ASE certified to remove. You can't just have somebody show up like, oh, I'm just, you know, your local occult wizard. Are you kidding me? Like, wait, they just show up and be like, are you certified?

I know how to play Magic the Gathering. So I feel like. When you ask for their credentials, they pull out like a whole keychain full of shrunken heads. They're just like, yeah, man, I'm good. I know all about this shit. Hey, this luggy rabbit's foot didn't attach itself to my keys on its own. So I think you owe me an apology there, buddy.

All right, there's a little more. But at the same time, you need to look back. If I were you, I'd look back at your family. What in your family do you have anybody involved in the occult somebody in witchcraft or tarot cards or psychic things has there something been there

that you don't know about some grandparent great grandparent or something look into the family tree and then get some people in there and cast this stuff out but that does not sound like well then get some people in there and cast this stuff out. That does not sound like normal. Well.

I wonder what hit him in the stomach. I wonder if he got hit by the gay. It may have been. Either that or it's fucking appendicitis. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, here's this fucking kid who's going to be like, Mom, Mom, it has nothing to do with you praying.

I've got a fucking terrible disease. Gosh. My organs are rupturing. Will you still, would you stop talking about fucking dead great uncle fucking Milton's Ouija board? You know, you were talking about it a couple weeks ago about, you know, you couldn't imagine if somebody lost their keys walking around casting the devil out, right? Could you imagine if you were just like, Mom, my fucking stomach hurts and she's just like, in the name of Jesus! Like, I would be I'd be on the next train out of town, man. I mean, you're

better off in foster care. Yeah. Dude, you're better off fucking living under a bridge. Like eating pigeons. You're better off shooting heroin and selling your body for sex. You're just better off. I honestly can't even imagine having a family member like that.

What would you do? How could you even be civil to somebody like that? It would be a hard time not slapping them in the face. You're at the fucking family picnic and somebody's like, is this coleslaw taste a little? Devil, get out of my coleslaw!

Get out! No, I was going say like it has too much vinegar but you know demons are good too yeah no that's fine yeah i guess or maybe a purple onion you know i mean one or the other it is the demon of indigestion i cast you out by the power of Maalox. Like, wait. Tom, do you want to play a game? Give me a couple names. Why don't you give me four names in a row? All right.

Darth Vader. Darth Vader? No, it's going to be Vader now. Darth Vader. Darth Vader. It's Darth Vader. Madonna. Madonna.

Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo Baggins. Bilbo Baggins. And let's go Frodo. Frodo. Yeah. We're sticking to a theme here. All right. Give me a noun.

Biscuits. I like biscuits. I'm a fucking huge fan. All right. How about a verb? Crunch. A plural noun? Potatoes. A regular noun? Potatoes.

A regular noun? Let's go with train. How about a nationality? Eskimo. I like the Eskimos. Can we use Inuit instead? A verb? Punt. How about a past participle? So I think that's the E-D. I don't

know. Flung. Can I do fl E-D. I don't know. Flung. Can I do flung? Sure, I guess. All right. Liquid. Garbage juice. You like your garbage juice. I do like garbage.

It's the grossest thing I could think of. Name? Slenderman. Oh, no. Two liquids. Oh, no. Two liquids. Let's go with moonshine and fluid flux.

Oh, God. Fluid flex. Whatever. Four adjectives. Let's go with... I'm going to start with a color. I'm going to go with red. Then I'm going to go with broken. Then we'll go with maimed.

And then you need four? Four. Let's go red, broken, maimed. I need another good adjective Juicy Juicy, I like juicy We'll go with juicy Nationality

French And finally the last is a name Let's go with Sting I like that both Madonna Let's go with Sting. I like that both Madonna and Sting. Yeah, well, we're kicking it back. You know, it's some old school shit.

We're dating ourselves. We're rolling it. It's awesome. Then Darth Vader said to Madonna and his sons Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins, do not let your biscuits become unkempt, and do not crunch your potatoes, or you will die, and the Lord will be angry with the whole train. But your relatives, all the Inuit,

may punt for those the Lord has flung by fire. Do not leave the entrance to the tent of meeting or you will die. Because the Lord's anointing garbage juices on you. So they did as Moses said. Then the Lord said to Slenderman. You and your sons are not to drink moonshine or fermented fluid flex. Whenever you go to the tenthine or fermented fluid flecks whenever you go to the tent of meeting or you will die.

This is a lasting ordinance for the generations to come so that you can distinguish between the red and the broken and between the maimed and the juicy. And so you can teach the French all the decrees the Lord has given them

through sting. That turned out great actually we want to thank all our patrons for donating to the show we thank everyone who's given us money we specifically want to thank the new patrons this week D Matthew Shane Eric Jesse Valerie James Ian and Dr. H.

Thank you very much. Your hard-earned dollars go a long way to making sure the podcast is possible. So thank you. We're going to end tonight with the Hillbilly Skeptics Creed. This was sent in by Nick. So at the end of the show, be sure to stick around for the Skeptics Creed. Nick, put some time into it when we think it's funny. We got a message from Danielle, Tom.

This is just a thank you message. Yeah, this was an interesting message from Danielle. So she says, you know, it was a thank you. She said she still believes in her faith. So she's not an atheist. I can't imagine anybody who's not an atheist listening to that show. I honestly can't imagine anybody who is an atheist listening to that show. I honestly can't imagine anybody who is an atheist listening to this show, though. But she also says she can't

get behind any religion she's been exposed to, so she's not comfortable calling herself Catholic or even Christian. And then, you know, as she's going on, Cecil, I think we're doing some significant damage to her faith. And I feel like as long as we can do that, then we're doing maybe some, I want to say some good in the world, but that strikes me as perhaps not true. I'll just say we're doing God's work. How about psychological damage? A little psychological damage never hurt anyone. So we should apologize, Danny. We're very sorry.

We got a message. This is from Howard. And Howard got a message uh this is from howard and howard sent a message in about um steve harvey and tom you should read part of this because this is really funny yes it's so weird so steve harvey evidently has like a relationship show where he teaches women um how to get a man by basically tricking them and then talks down to women from position of religion um and the black church, he says, is notorious for normalizing dysfunction. And with Steve Harvey, it's no different. He says he listened to Steve Harvey on his morning radio show,

shame a reality star that came out with a sex tape for selling her body, only to end his speech by essentially comparing her vagina to pearls found deep in the ocean. What the what? vagina to pearls found deep in the ocean. What the what? And saying that she and other women should want men to work to get that treasure. Wow.

And I guess Steve Harvey's been divorced three times. So he's no stranger to the work. Are there pearls in clams? I didn't know. Oh, nicely done, sir. Nicely done. I don't know. Nicely done, sir. Nicely done. I don't know, but there's a little man in a boat. We got a message from Kate.

Another thing you're going to have to read here. This is about David Icke. We were talking about him with Bob Blazkowicz. Super, super weird. So Kate sent over this message basically saying that, you know, her brother has some strong conspiracy theory leanings. She says, David Icke ties all of the conspiracies together very nicely. All the supernatural things in every holy book are actually referencing Icke's human reptilian hybrids who were interpreted differently by different cultures. The reptilians seeded our planet, creating life on earth. They built the pyramids, enslaved ancient humans, and they still control most everything that happens on earth. They are the Illuminati, the one world government,

the new world order. All very influential, successful and wealthy people are actually reptilian hybrids. Barack Obama, the Koch brothers, Beyonce, Brad Pitt. They shot JFK. They made us think the planes hit, this is my favorite, the World Trade Center by projecting holograms into the sky. They supply the planes with the chemicals that

create chemtrails. They put fluoride in their water to keep us obedient. They're responsible for crop circles, UFO sightings. They're still working on getting chips implanted in all of us so they can watch our every move. I would think the chips would be like a fucking piece of cake at this

point. They've already made it appear that the World Trade Centers existed then were hit by planes and have been knocked down for... Or that they're not there when they actually are there. For 13 years. Yeah. Well, I don't know.

I mean, yeah, nobody's paid attention. Everybody who's flown by, these holograms are that good. You know what? I wonder, too, is like, if Brad Pitt really was one of these reptilian people, wouldn't he go to Africa and come back with a bunch of lizards instead of children? He just shows up. He, like, adopts a bunch of Komodo dragons instead of children. He just shows up. He like adopts a bunch of Komodo dragons instead of kids.

He's like walking around with all these little... He's like his publicist is also one of the reptilians. He's like, no, no, no. Get human children. Human children. And Brad Pitt's like, oh, don't. And he like smacks himself in the head. I should have thought of that. God.

I love, too, that like the reptilian hybrids, what, do they have factions where Barack Obama and the Koch brothers hate each other? Or do they just all play it? Is it like all just like fucking all the world's a stage or something? Right. Yeah. They're just fucking around. That's why I said like you think getting the implants would be easy because there'd be no political will to push back. Because all wealthy

and influential people yeah are part of this conspiracy so i guess they're all part of different conspiracies if you're all fucking super rich and they fucking basically run everything why don't they just fucking like come straight out and be like yeah we're reptiles and you're fucking we run everything and right yeah there's nobody to oppose them. Who would oppose them at this point? Like, if they've infiltrated all levels of society, why are you hiding now? I just can't, I can't look at anybody who thinks, like, the movie they live is a real thing. If you want proof that there is no great conspiracy, one word, filibuster. Yeah.

Right? Right, right. That can't happen in a world where everybody's working together. Well, it can, Tom, but they're doing it just to make it so that we don't think that they exist. Oh, yeah. Well, they got me. Yeah. God damn it.

Man. Bastards. Those fucking reptile aliens are smarter than I am. So we got a message from Sean, and Sean says he has a conflict. He's of Irish descent, and a few years back, he thought it'd be cool to get a Celtic cross. Now he's openly atheist and, uh,

he's basically running around with this, this tattoo. And he says, I'm starting to get gut from my family about it. Having it removed is out of the equation. I'm having problems with acceptance of it and come back and a comeback to comments. Am I a hypocrite? Can this merely be

looked at as celebration of my ancestry? I say, absolutely. I say, celebrate the Celtic part and forget the cross part. I mean, why? You know, look, there's tons of cool looking things. I think, you know, man, I've been in some churches in my life that are just knocked down fucking gorgeous buildings. You walk in and you're just in awe at how gorgeous these things are. The one, one of them that comes to mind is Notre Dame in Amiens in France. It's like in the, it's kind of in, it's like outside of Paris, like pretty far outside of Paris. And it's fucking huge. It's bigger than actual Notre Dame and it's fucking enormous. And it's beautiful. I mean, you walk in and it's just absolutely stunning. I think it's a gorgeous place. I think

it's wonderful. Um, but I don't, I don't walk in there thinking's just absolutely stunning. I think it's a gorgeous place. I think it's wonderful. But I don't walk in there thinking I'm going to have some spiritual experience. And the same thing here. You're not doing it for some spiritual reason. You're just doing it because you like the way it looks. I think a religious iconography can be very beautiful. So I don't think that there's any kind of disconnect there. And I think you're totally free to recontextualize what's on your own body. Like you don't have to worry about like, oh, is this a post hoc rationalization of, you know, my tattoo? Yeah, maybe it is, but it's fucking yours.

Like it's not anybody else's. So it's kind of none of their fucking business. And if you want to contextualize it differently today than you did when it was originally inked onto your skin okay great like that's the beautiful thing about meaning right meanings are especially things yeah you know uh which which are uh icons you know they're not static meaning is not static meaning is fluid and you're allowed to reinterpret that um if you weren't allowed to reinterpret that that would be a fucking incredibly functionally fixed way to look at the world. So this last week, myself and kind of Tom appeared on Adam Rieck's podcast, The Herd Mentality.

So we'll put a link to his episode, the episode that we appear on. Adam is a very funny guy. We did a skit with him and Ra, and it turned out great. We basically bust Ray Comfort out of jail. And so it's pretty hilarious. I love his Ray Comfort accent, and it's very funny. And Ra, who plays Raylene, is also very funny and extra filthy. She's awesomely filthy. So check out that. And just check out Adam's show in general.

I think he's got a great show, and he does a very good job of weaving funny and serious. So check out his stuff. We hope, again, to have him again on in the future. Probably in the next six months we'll have him on again because he was a lot of fun to talk to and cover some goofy fucking stories with. So that wraps it up for this week. We will be back next week with just a single show, and we'll leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Hygiene is not a virtue. It's banjo-picking, snake-handling, libtard, pinkami bullshit couched in small town racist sexist bible thumping sausage biscuit

gravy slapping small-minded homeschool indoctrinated science denying oceanic baptizing illiterate jug band moonshine sipping toothless verbal vomitus john deere chevy diesel trucks shotguns fox news overalls secret mus, terrorists, gay agenda, Christian rights, hatred, incest, bigotry, sex shops, quick stops, liquor stores, NASCAR tractors, extended clips, grammar, big rigs, wrestling, white power, mullets, duck calls, confederates, prayer healers, republicans, homegrown traditional values nonsense. Expose your vinyl side. own traditional values nonsense.

Expose your vinyl side. Thrust your hands. Greasy. Anecdotal. Ignorant. Deep fry even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. I'm out.