Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 171: Where’s My Blacklight of Jesus?

Episode Date: August 18, 2014

   

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19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app. Go to dissonancepod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Ryan Fisher is such a sensationalist. Each purchase helps support the show. no nukes, no tomahawks, nothing, just like four airplanes. Also, you reminded me of a joke that I thought up when I was in the Navy

with the red telephone thing. And I thought, what if nobody is there to answer the red telephone in the White House? The red answering machine gets it. Glory, hope. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way.

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 171 of cognitive dissonance and it is full of depressing stories every episode i mean it's not like that's a big shock to people i know this one has some fucking like really depressing ones kind of tucked in there in fact i actually labeled the note fucking depressing stories for episode 171 yeah because i was looking through cecil and here's the problem like this is not a lot of good news going on right now so i was like oh that story oh i can't even make a joke about that you know what we need is more ebola i think right you know ebola is just fun for the whole family.

It's something we can all get into. I mean, you just yuck it up about Ebola. You know, speaking of the Ebola, we did get an email from somebody who was kind enough to send us some screenshots from the essential oils nuts that were, you know, rubbing some fucking dirt on themselves if they were going to get Ebola. And, of course, you know, it's all fucking fun and games because nobody's getting Ebola here. So it's like, yeah, I got the fucking cure for Ebola since nobody has Ebola here. All right. I have a rock in my pocket that keeps away tigers too.

Exactly. You know, we have to say 100% of the people who have rubbed tea tree oil on their nuts have not gotten any Ebola. So, win-win. Well, yeah. I mean, you get to rub your nuts and you don't get Ebola. And you smell like a hippie. Win-win-win.

I don't know the third one's a win. I'm not sure it is either. It's like you smell like an all-day concert. You smell like an outdoor. You smell like something called Bonnaroo. That's all I'm saying. So this first story comes from Salon.com, and this is like a personal story. My Christian virginity pledge nearly destroyed me.

I had to preface that in case any of our listeners thought that my Christian virginity pledge nearly destroyed me. My Christian virginity pledge both did not exist and would have been ignored. It would have been completely disregarded. Yet scrupulously studied by the women around me. My Christian virginity pledge nearly destroyed me. At the age of 10, I vowed to stay pure until I married. I finally realized my body belongs to me and not the church. This is a story by Samantha Pugsley, which I love.

So yeah, man, at the age of 10, this woman got, woman, girl, this little girl, basically, fucking fifth grader is what you are, basically got fucking strong-armed and is saying that she would stay a virgin until marriage and then that was used as kind of like a uh a mark of her purity and her you know holiness and her standing within her church and her community and her family and it was like a real point of pride for cecil until the moment it wasn't yeah well and the problem is that that's how she identified herself right she identified herself from the age of 10 on because everyone was so impressed with her ability to not give it up right so everybody would come up to her like and that's got to be weird right like grandma come up

and grabbing your cheek and be like glad your hymen's still intact i was gonna say like what is thanksgiving like okay honey show everyone your hymen. You see this turkey, how wide it is? That's not your hymen. That's not your vagina. Your vagina, it's like, imagine if there's a lot of stuffing in here. She actually wasn't even allowed to stuff the turkey. Let's be honest, we fist that turkey every year. Yeah, but it's interesting to see that it she

identified with that purity then she goes away for her you know night first night of sex and uh and they have sex after they're married and then she is uncomfortable with it because she feels dirty because her whole life she has identified sex with being unclean, with being, um, with being, you know, for a lack of better term, evil. And she has not been able to, and she wasn't able to enjoy sex even when it was blessed by the Lord, but because it's between a husband and wife, she was not able to enjoy the sexual activity that she was having with her husband. And, you know, it led to some real problems in her relationship because she spent her whole life with this false idea

that sex is somehow dirty and unclean and you're going to be bad if you partake in an act, which is, you know, probably the most human thing we do. Well, you know what? I mean, the solution is obvious, though, right? I mean, she should have either only fucked Jesus, you know, which, because how can that go wrong?

And let's be honest. I mean, Jesus with that long hair. Right. And he's got abs. I mean, he's looking good. You know what I mean? He's got a washboard stomach. He's got a washboard stomach. He's got a washboard stomach.

Look at that guy. You know, he can't hold change. But other than that, he's good. Yeah, I mean, and the crown of thorns, you know, you've got to kind of move that off to the side. And do not step on his foot when you're dancing with him at the wedding. That's smarts. But he won't complain. He's magnanimous about it.

He is. He's pretty good about it. You're never wanting for any food. It'll just turn shit into fishes. I was going to say, yeah, but then you've got to cook. I'm like, well, I guess it'd be sushi grade. Yeah, sushi grade fishes. So, yeah.

But, you know, and plus, you know, free drinks. That's good. All the time, whenever you want. Wine, whenever you want it. Yeah. That's totally great. I saw a comedian a long time ago who, like, takes a glass of water and he's like, all I have in front of me is pure water.

And he's like, and now, and he's spinning his finger in it and he's like, and now it's wine. He's like, I don't need all of you to believe it. Just 12. to believe it just 12 um yeah you know not only did this inflict a lot of emotional damage on this poor woman you know who as you say like you know she was just scarred by her fucking wrong-handed ideas about sex and sexuality and self-definition and how sexuality fits into that that component of herself but then it also fucked with her husband because her husband has been having sex with her and she hates it. And then when she finally tells him,

he's like, well, what the fuck? I don't want to have sex with somebody who hates having sex with me. That's a terrible feeling. He's a nicer guy than I am. Because I'll tell you, my wife hates having sex with me

and that hasn't stopped me. It's like, well, I don't want to have sex right now with somebody, but give me about 20 minutes. I actually take that as a challenge. See if you can hate this even more. I'll be done in four seconds.

Although that might take the pressure off. It's like, well, I'm going to disappoint you. The thing is that it's not long. So she doesn't care so much. She hates it, but she's like, well, I'm going to disappoint you. Yeah, well, the thing is that it's not long. So she doesn't care so much. You know, she hates it, but it doesn't, she's like, whatever. We'll return after these messages, right? It's like stubbing your toe. Like, yeah, it sucks, but it's very, very fast and over very quickly.

That's a short-term pain. I hope you're as committed to safe sex as you are those abs. I know you're all about that abstinence thing, you know, but come on. Be palin, are you serious? Like, you're not going to hook up with, like, before you marry? For real? For real. For real, for real? For real, for real, for real. So this story comes from

Think Progress. California parents complain that sex ed textbook is equivalent to pornography. Says parents who clearly do not have the internet. Yeah. Because I gotta tell ya, there is nothing equivalent to pornography. Pornography is its own equivalent.

It's not like anything is like, man, that's just like porn. That's a crazy thing to say, actually. It would be like saying, man, that steak is just like ice cream. No. I mean, I guess maybe in that they are both foodstuffs but beyond that you know there's some pornography that's not equivalent to pornography you know what i mean like there's some that is so like hardcore crazy and there's some that's just like regular vanilla. You can't even compare those two, let alone comparing something else to pornography. It's just such a big, wide, like, selection of work. You know what I mean?

It's almost, Cecil, like sexuality exists across a broad continuum within the human species. You know, I... And should be considered that way. You might have something there, Tom. You should publish. I don't know. You should publish. I'm going to write it down.

It's one sentence long, and it was that. I'm going to publish it somewhere. I'm just going to write it on a bathroom stall. There you go. There's a book called Your Health Today, and the parents are all fucking bent out of shape because the book is accurate and comprehensive is what it sounds like to me. And they're fucking flipping out.

And they say things, Cecil, that are super crazy. So this is supposed to be given to 14-year-olds, right, ninth-grade kids. And one of the complaints, I'm going to read it. There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history. How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all, said an oblivious dipshit who clearly does not have a handle on 14-year-old kids. Or that a 14-year-old kid may use that when they're 18.

Well, and that's the other thing, right? It's like, no, we should only give people the information they need at the fucking pen ultimate moment of necessity. That they need it. Yeah, exactly. What we should do is have fucking shock collars of information. And as soon as somebody is about to like need an information, then somebody standing nearby

is like, I need an information. Like they get fucking zapped like Matrix style. That'd be awesome. It'd be like if Neo could like learn Kung Fu, but they had to wait for the first punch to be like in the air racing toward his bean. Yeah. And then he gets the Kung Fu. Imagine if you're in driver's ed and then they don't teach you to turn right until you need to turn right. You're just like, you just, you can just keep it straight.

Just keep it straight. Okay. We got to turn right. Well, I don't know how to do that. Okay. We're going to teach you how to do it. You're just like, you can just keep it straight. Just keep it straight. Okay, we gotta turn right. Well, I don't know how to do that. Okay, we're gonna teach you how to do it. Don't worry. Well, it's too late. We missed our fucking turn. Right, and we're in the lake. Exactly. Hope he can swim. I know he taught me to swim. Fuck. Teach him to swim. That's the dumbest shit ever.

They don't need to know it now. Well, they might need it later. Right. What the fuck? Do you know exactly the moment don't need to know it now. Well, they might need it later. Right. What the fuck? Do you know exactly the moment they're going to need this information? God, it's so stupid. Because I'll tell you this much. They are going to need it. Like, no solution or no problem has ever been solved by people being like, let's withhold the information.

Yeah. See how that works. And isn't this a repeat of the first story where they're making it seem like such a big goddamn deal? You know, the reason why people get pregnant at that age is because nobody talks to them about sex, right? But the problem is that these people think sex is such a protected ritual. a like a protected ritual i don't even know like i mean it's such a sacred thing that they won't let you know their their children even think about it and they i mean and literally you cannot even think about it if you can't read a book about it right you're not allowed

to even consider it and you know when you put that much pressure on the sexual experience, when you put that much importance on the sexual experience, suddenly you have stories like the woman in the previous story who's 10 years old and doesn't know what she's promising, winds up promising it and then winds up fucking hating sex. Right. Right. And that's not going to serve her well throughout the rest of her life. Like that's the exact opposite of what you would want for your children. Can you imagine having a child and being like, man, what a beautiful kid. I really hope they hate sex. Man, wouldn't that be awesome if they were just like woefully incomplete in some fundamental human way?

Oh, man, that would be great. The fuck? Might as well lop off one of their limbs right or like just be like oh you know ever since we had that baby what we do is we scrape off his taste buds oh yeah so that he can't have flavors well yeah why well because that's like it's kind of a fundamental way for him to understand the world and my religion teaches me that it's fucking indulgent to eat, you know, delicious food or whatever, so what we do is we just scrape off his

fucking taste buds so everything tastes like fucking malt-o-meal. Have you ever had that stuff, by the way? Yes. Tastes like your taste buds got scraped off. And the thing is, when you eat it, it's so hot, it essentially just destroys your taste buds anyway.. It's so bad. And the thing is, is when you eat it, it's so hot, it essentially just destroys your taste buds anyway.

Oh, that's a roof of the mouth scorcher. It's basically. Because like, it's that gloop hold. Yep. Like, it holds the fucking heat

for like two hours. You might as well just be slurping on magma. Do you remember in, we're going to go back to the Matrix again. Do you remember the Matrix where they like,

eat the fucking gray sludge? Yeah, yeah, the gray sludge, yeah. It's fucking maltameal. It's the same thing. It's Yeah, yeah, the gray sludge, yeah. It's fucking malt-o-meal. It's the same thing. As soon as my first thought was like, that's like that fucking malt-o-meal shit.

I remember getting the chocolate malt-o-meal when I was a kid and being like, oh, this is going to be better. And you'd be like, it's just bitter malt-o-meal. I know, right? It's like not good. Plus, it looks exactly like shit. It does. It really... It doesn't look a little bit like a poo. It's like, there's poo in my bowl.

And it's just got that consistency too, where you just rub your spoon through it and it just holds that form. You can sculpt it a little. Oh, God. What an awful, awful thing. Your body loves it, though, because your body's like, I have to do literally nothing. It goes in, it comes out.

It doesn't change. Yeah, exactly. It's like you might as well be part of human centipede. You know what I mean? The body's just like, I'm basically a straw. That's it. That's how you're treating me. Like a straw.

It's going to go right through me. Might as well just put a bowl down there. A thousand years ago, there was a great conjunction. Three suns lined up. Another great conjunction coming up. Anything could happen. The whole world might burn up. The great conjunction is the end of the world.

Or the beginning. So this story comes from the Raw story. Texas court rules against homeschoolers who expected a rapture and stopped teaching kids. And I guess I would argue that probably the homeschoolers didn't start teaching their kids. Oh, shit. Direct your letters for homeschool love to Tom.

I know, I'm going to get fucking hammered. Just be like, dear Tom, don't be like dear guys. Yeah, right. That's what we call a joke. We'll be telling a lot of them here today. None of them will be successful. None of them will be any good, but we'll still give them a whirl. Right, right.

So this story basically is exactly what it sounds like. There was a ruling last week by the Texas state district court of appeals. Michael McIntyre and Laura McIntyre removed their nine children from a private school in order to homeschool them. And basically Tracy testified that the parents used empty space in a motorcycle dealership as a classroom, but that the kids were never seen reading a motorcycle dealership as a classroom, but that the kids were never seen reading books, using computers, doing math.

They were basically just playing. Like, they're just fucking around. Which is what I think happens with a lot of homeschoolers. I am a homeschooler. But I'm just saying. You can send that email to Cecil. Yeah. You know, Matt, I'm sure there's plenty of homeschoolers out there that are very serious but i have a feeling there's a lot of them that are just like mommy wants to

watch oprah today so it's nappy times all day or fucking we're gonna do a field trip to the yard we're having benadryl o's today that's great uh that's terrible um so anyway like they basically said like yeah we don't really have to teach them uh because you know the rapture's coming so no point in it religious freedom go god and it got so bad that one of the kids ce, ran away from home to go to school. That's never happened in the history of time. As a parent, you know you have fucked your shit up when your kid's like, fuck it, I'm out of here. I'm going to school, Mom. You know, each homeschooler puts aside like two rapture days a year.

And if they go over, then they got to go back to school in June. That's exactly it. The school year goes longer. Yeah, the school year goes longer. So they don't want to do that. The kids don't want that to happen. So you only get two rapture days a year. And I think they overuse those rapture days.

When I was a kid, they wouldn't call a rapture day for any little rapture. Exactly. You know, I mean, like we used to walk through six inches of rapture. There used to be. Look, I used to have to walk through six inches of frogs that were on the ground. And on the way home, it was locusts. And I didn't mind. With tiny helmets.

Tiny little helmets on those locusts. And I didn't mind. Our school mascot was a beast with a disproportionate number of horns that would be the best school mascot that would be great yeah the rapture beast this looks all weird he's got all kinds of fucking weird heads and horns oh my god it'd be amazing i think it'd be awesome too as if he had all those heads, but he only had one neck. So they're like, he's like a piece of broccoli. He looks like a flower.

He just looks like a piece of broccoli. It's like little bulbous things on the outside and then horns on the end. And lo, there shall be a floret of lion heads. A floret. And it shall be steamed and sprinkled with a little bit of salt and pepper and perhaps some lemon juice if ye have any oh these kids can't even fucking get through a little rapture i mean what's the big deal look i guess the best part of it for me is like, it's

just sheer laziness, right? Because if you get raptured, but you're educated, no harm, right? Yeah. If you don't get raptured and you're educated, better off. It doesn't work the other direction. If you

get raptured and you're uneducated, no harm. If you don't get raptured and you're uneducated, no harm. If you don't get raptured and you're uneducated, big harm. So like, it's actually like, there's no upside to doing this, except for just like,

I just didn't want to teach my kids anything. Basically just want to let them play around until the apocalypse. A long black cock, long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black cock. This story comes from the BBC. Saudi slated for jailing teacher.

I think we can all agree at this point that Saudi Arabia is a fucking absolute hellhole, and I don't understand why they are an ally at all. Human Rights Watch says that the Saudi judiciary is imprisoning people who advocate genuine educational reform to the tune of sentencing a teacher to three years in prison and 750 lashes. So it's.625 lashes a day. You know, maybe you could survive that. Now, if you have to go with the 750 in a row, they're probably just going to wind up cutting your torso in half. Yeah, I don't know.

How do you do this? I mean, I don't know how long it takes to recover from being tortured. Because that's what this is. I mean, it's a torturous, barbarous punishment. 750 lashes over the course of 40 months. It's just unthinkable. It's just unthinkable. The pain, the terror.

And what did the guy do? Let's read what he did. Mr. Harvey discussed Christianity, Judaism, and the dangers of terrorism with his students, and he posted signs against terrorism around his school. He also reportedly encouraged his students to analyze the differences between the Koran and the Sunnah, a body of traditional sayings and customs attributed to the Prophet. That's what he did.

They're going to whip that man 750 times. This is another example. A lot of people have a lot of people will have a lot of stuff to say when we talk about Islam. They have a lot of stuff to say about how we're uninformed or how we don't know what we're talking about or how we're speaking from ignorance.

What's the fucking nuance in this story? Like, where's the nuance here? It's like, guy was trying to teach something that just seems pretty fucking obvious that you want to teach right nothing he's not saying that the you know the government is bad he's not saying that the religion is bad he's just saying know some differences between some stuff and here's some here's some ideas some different ideas maybe you could take a look at it in a

different way and suddenly you're gonna you're gonna beat this guy and put up and shove him in prison for that long and some and and prison for that long? And somehow somebody's going to defend that? Somebody's going to say that that's a good idea, that isn't part of this government. Because if you're going to say that's a good idea, you're a fucking idiot. I mean, that's just it. You're a fucking idiot if you think that's a good idea. There's nothing about that that's a good idea.

And there's no nuance here. We're not talking about, you know, that's the other thing, too, is people are like, oh, you know, America's doing all kinds of bad things over in the, you know, in the Middle East. And, you know, you've got to take that into account. There's fucking nothing going on here that has to do with anything about America. You know, nothing whatsoever. Just so happens that this guy is teaching something that other people don't want him to teach. And he's going to get fucking beat up and fucking thrown in jail for it.

And that's, we're supposed to be like, oh, well we got to tiptoe around that shit. You know, I guess, I guess I'd like to hear what's the other side of the argument, right? So my argument is very simple. My argument is people shouldn't be barbarously beaten and tortured for ideas, like for thought crime. That's what this is. I'm going to go a step further and say they shouldn't be tortured at all. Yeah.

And actually the state, no state, should beat people. Like, there should not be a punishment that involves lashes. Just it. Like, I don't care who you are. But the motivation of all Saudi law is based in Sharia. They don't have codified laws. They don't have a law that you can go break. You can't go to Saudi Arabia and break the law. The law is Sharia. The law is the Quran. You go to a

judge, the judge is like, eh, look at a book. The book says this thing, this is stuff. That's it. So every decision made by the Saudi courts is a religious decision by definition, because that's a theocracy. And that's how theocracies work. I mean, it's a, it's a theocratic monarchy, but you know what I mean? Sure.

Yeah. And they, I mean, I have Sharia law. I mean, they just, but essentially they have judges there who just, they don't even have laws.

This is a fucking, a bunch of guys who like, that's fucking illegal. You should just have Drew Carey. Like Drew Carey should decide it. I mean, if it's all made up and the points don't matter, it should be like... The laws don't matter, yeah.

Right. Drew Carey should just be sitting up there like, hey, 750 lashes and a bozo button. Can I just have the bozo button? Because the lashes sound so horrible. Okay, I need something from the audience. Shit you could get lashed for. Somebody raises their hand. Anything at all at the discretion of the judge.

Okay, guys, we're working with anything at all at the discretion of the judge. Go. Lash him for that. Do not point out the shittiness of our system. Seriously, to your point, man, people bag on us for not being well informed

about the specifics regarding Islam. There's no other side to this. If there's another side to this, honestly, send me a reasonable email and I will actually read that. I know you're fucking shaking your head right now, Cecil. But I would be curious to know what somebody's other side of that argument would be. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. I don't know what the fuck the other side of this argument is.

Jesus, man. This is from MSN.com. I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to stay away from the ISIS stuff. You know, I tried to stay away from it for a while on the show because the situation is just really complex over there. But this shit is fucking outrageous. Islamic State. This is not complex, though. This this particular thing that you're going to read is not complex at all. No. No, this is not. That's why I chose to talk about this.

Islamic State beheads and crucifies in push for Syria's east. The Islamic State has crushed a pocket of resistance, crucifying two people, executing 23 other people. other people. And they claim that they crucified the two men for the crime of dealing with apostates and two others for blasphemy. That's what they said. Right. So that's not, so let's be super duper clear. Like that's not my interpretation. I'm not deciding that their motivation in crucifying four people was religious. They are saying expressly and explicitly that their motivation for crucifying other human beings in 2014 was for blasphemy and dealing with apostates. That's exactly it. And there's no nuance here, just like the last story.

There is not a a it's not that you know yeah clearly the rest of the things that are happening there you know traveling across the country the taking over cities all that stuff that's something that is you know beyond i think the scope of what we want to talk about because i don't i don't really have anything to say about that like should you know do i think that you, in this day and age, we should be fucking riding around in tanks, fucking killing, you know, 1400 people at a pop? No, I don't think so. But at the same time, there's a that's a complex situation that I don't want to get into. The, you know, wanton murder and torture of people because they were either apostates or they blasphemed.

That's something that, you know, this show is like deals with head on because there's, there's, there's nothing nuanced about that. You know, they exactly, like you said, they said what they wanted, they said that they wanted to do and they said what they did. And, um, and when you're talking about, you know, punishing someone because either they don't believe what you believe or they're dealing with apostates. That doesn't even make any sense. It's like, why is it that, why wouldn't you go after the apostates? I mean, I don't agree with it, but at least I could see going after the apostates.

But the dealing with apostates, I just wouldn't deal with anyone. I'd be like, I haven't dealt with anyone. No, I'm just going to sit here in a mud hole and eat my rice and just shut the fuck up. I ain't dealing with anybody. And what level of, like truly, like what level of first century, crazy fucking insane backwards Stone Age bullshit has your religion taught you is the right way to deal with people when you are actually fucking crucifying other human beings how this is a you've solved what problem exactly like i mean i know i said this before but it's like i look at

this and i'm like this is a response to something somebody is is responding to blasphemy and their response to it is to fucking crucify another human being in 2014? If that is not definitionally barbaric, then the word ceases to have any substantive meaning at all. Fucking crucified. What do we have to do? Drive over there and fucking show them all the life of Brian? Always look on the bright

side of life. You know, it was interesting because I was reading a couple of other articles about, because they've actually been crucifying people kind of willy-nilly for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes they do it to send messages. And there was a dude who fucking lived, man. Is that why they do it? To send messages?

That's it. It's better than, it's like the ISIS version of the smoke signal. It's like, this version of the smoke signal. But every message is just a T. This guy's sitting there. He's got a note pinned to his chest. And he's just like, why couldn't you just hang the note up? Why do you need me? We don't have refrigerators and magnets, so we needed something.

You need to pin it on something. I got to do something. It's you, bro. It's like, we tried to spell it out, but all we made were T's. Lots and lots of T's. It's so ridiculous. But like one dude, Cecil, actually fucking lived. They fucking nailed him up and he was crucified and he hung out on there for about four hours.

And then he escaped. It didn't say how he escaped. for about four hours, and then he escaped. It didn't say how he escaped, and I don't want to think too long about how he escaped from being crucified. Jesus, man. But the dude escaped, and he basically was just some dude working in an oil field,

and they wanted to take the oil field, and he's like, but I work here. It went downhill from there pretty quickly. Negotiations deteriorated after that. Right. Was his name Lazarus? Well, you know, I was actually really interested in this story because, you know, he was crucified and then came back. But it was four hours and not three days.

It was only four hours, yeah. Yeah, so it didn't count. I bet he thought it counted. That motherfucker just counted all. I'll tell you what, man. Fucking, you just go, you just, you just never, ever, ever go back to that place ever. You just figure out a way to go somewhere else forever. Yeah, dude.

That's like, you just pick a direction like east and you fucking run. You pick a direction and you just hightail it forever out of right just i wonder if you force gump that shit your way out yeah i wonder too like after it's all over you get crucified by some fucking asshat who's like shouting at you some religious bullshit i wonder if after if you survive if you're like man fuck religion i don't fuck that shit i want you know you you know maybe you are maybe you aren't but i i you know i'm already on the fuck religion side so i clearly would be on that side after it's all over but if uh i wonder if you're religious if you're in that situation if you're just like man fuck those people i you know

i don't know but the thing is like even if felt that way, you have to keep that shit to yourself. As long as you're in that country, you do. Like, that whole area, like, is such a goddamn clusterfuck. Like, ISIS is truly, like, Nazi-level barbaric and torturous. Like, with the crazy-ass shit that they do. Oh, yeah. You know, as they are running rampant across Iraq and parts of Syria. It's like they're so crazy they're scaring Al-Qaeda.

Like, they're so crazy that Al-Qaeda is like, fuck, what? Y'all need to settle down. It's like out-meaning a pit bull. Right? It's like you growl at a pit bull and be like, fuck that, I'm out of here. So we're going to take a pit bull. Right? It's like you growl at a pit bull and it's like, fuck that. I'm out of here.

So we're going to take a short break and give you some information on how to contact the show and how to donate to the show. And we'll be back with a couple more stories and we're going to finish out the episode. So stick around.

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to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story, we don't want you to link to. It comes from Matt Walsh's blog. Matt Walsh is a giant douchebag, so don't go there. He sucks. As everybody probably is aware,

at least in America, you know, if you have Facebook, Robin Williams died this last week. He committed suicide. He was suffering from mental illness. There was some reporting that he was depressed. There was other reporting that he may have been bipolar, which is, you know, got a mania component to the depressive episodes.

Doesn't really matter. And I don't know Robin Williams. We never hung out. So, you know, it is sad for his family and his friends, but it's otherwise obviously a very personal matter. The reason that we wanted to talk about this a little bit was because Matt Walsh wrote this fucking giant douchey blog basically saying that Robin Williams didn't die from a disease.

He died from his choice. And I would discourage you from reading through it because it's just as fucking brain dead and myopic as it sounds. Um, but what I want to talk a little bit about Cecil is this idea that mental illness is somehow different in, in any kind of substantive way from physical illness. I think that there's a lot of people now that are, that are talking about, specifically talking about depression because of Robin Williams dying,

killing himself. And they're starting to talk about it in different ways. And I think it's a good thing to get into the discourse, the public discourse, the idea that, you know, depression is no different

than any other disease. You know, you don't blame someone about, uh, I saw something, what was it? Someone had posted something and it might have been been on the feed that we had posted this on our site and a bunch of people on our Facebook page and a bunch of people commented. And I think someone said there or somewhere else, um, they said, uh, you don't ask someone, um, why they're depressed about something, you know, in the same way you don't ask them why they got cancer. You know what I mean? Like it's just a, you can't, it's something that's harder to comprehend from the outside.

It's easy to look on the outside and not be a depressed person and say, you know, oh, well, you know, chin up. You know what I mean? Like it's real easy to be that guy. But it's also, I mean, that's like going to somebody with bone cancer and being like, hey, bone up. You know what I mean? Like, it's real easy to be that guy. But it's also, I mean, that's like going to somebody with bone cancer and being like, hey, bone up. You know what I mean? You can't do it. Cancer down.

Come on, man. Just get rid of that cancer. You're like, well, it doesn't work that way. Try rubbing some essential oils on it. I mean, and I guess when it comes right down to it, you know, all this is is clickbait. I mean, this guy is really just, he's no different. He's just less witty than Ann Coulter.

That's very true. That's very true. And it's clear that he's trolling, right? You know, he's taking this event that was culturally significant for a lot of people, and he's trying to get hits on his blog. But, you know, one of the things that I want to just point out is that a lot of the separation, a lot of the difference comes from this false idea that people still have that I think is embedded in our culture, this mind-body dualism, that the mind and the body are separate

things. But the mind is a function of the brain. It's a result of the brain. And the brain is just an organ, and it operates on the same chemical and electrical principles as all of the rest of physics. It doesn't ever, has never been shown to violate the laws of physics in any way. And if your thoughts and your mood and your mind and the essential pieces of the self originate from the brain and, of course, are influenced by the body. It's a complex system. We're not pretending it's not. But the brain is the organ of mind. And that's reasonably well established because if you damage the brain, the mind follows, right?

So if you get hit in the fucking skullet and you live and you've got brain damage, your mind has changed. Your intellectual and cognitive faculties can change. Your mood can change. Your ability to recognize people and patterns can change. I mean, this is very well established at this point. That there's something about mood or mind that is controllable by an external you, which is not subject to the physical you. You would never tell somebody, like you said, chin up. You'd never tell somebody, produce more insulin and expect them to stop being diabetic.

Why aren't you producing more insulin? You have a good life. Your family loves you. Why are you you producing more insulin? You have a good life. Yeah. You know, like your family loves you. Why are you not producing more insulin? I keep trying, but it doesn't work. Right. Like that's a stupid, foolish, ridiculous thing to say. But it's, you know, we even have in our country here, we even have often different health benefits from our insurance providers for mental health than we do for bodily health. But it doesn't make any sense because mental health is bodily health. There

is no difference. Your mental state of being is simply a reflection of the brain, which is an organ like your heart. It's just like we look at the heart, it's a fucking water pump. And we're like, eh, that's covered along with the rest of the parts. But the fucking powertrain has a separate warranty in this case. Exactly. And it doesn't make any sense. And again, I feel like it goes back to this false codification of mind-body dualism, which is not supported by any science that I'm aware of whatsoever, and yet is so embedded in our culture that this idiot

and other people like him will look at somebody who commits suicide and not think to themselves, that sucks. They had a disease. It was depression. And in this case, it was terminal. Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others.

This story comes to a raw story. Rand Paul on abortion. Civilization will collapse unless fetuses get personhood rights. So Rand Paul kind of had us for a little while. He was making a point, Cecil. Let's listen to him and see what he says. Because I'm going to stop it right before he fucking rides the rails. He rails himself. Nice music.

Tell me a little bit about your fight to protect the life of the unborn and the unborn child. I mean, that's a big issue in evangelical communities is that we want to protect life. It's a big issue for me. And I tell people that really it's all about when life begins. You know, I'm a physician. One of the things that I would do in my job is to go into the pediatric nursery and I would examine babies that are one-pound babies looking in their eye to try to make sure that they didn't suffer from blindness from being born prematurely and the interesting thing is when you're in the neonatal nursery and you got a one

pound baby everybody acknowledges that that baby has rights the bill of rights applies to that baby and nobody can hurt that baby it's a one pound baby all right i'm with him yeah yeah sure i mean i like like i get it i i understand and i and i think i know where he's going with this right let's let's see if i can figure out where he's going, where he's going to go and say like. And look, you know, if that baby, that one pound baby's inside the womb, you know, like, you know, maybe we need to start thinking about, you know, viability and how that works. already done that but you know we're just going to keep on hammering the point home um that we want to make sure that you know people don't uh don't overlook the viability of babies when they're deciding whether or not to get an abortion okay so let's see where he goes that's what i think he's gonna go but a week before even a full-term seven pound baby has no rights according to

the way people are looking at it and And I think that's a big mistake. So I've introduced legislation called the Life at Conception Act to define when life begins at conception. At conception. Wait a minute. Yes. Yes. When there are two cells.

The moment that the two cells fuse. Those two cells weigh a pound? Seven pounds. Jesus. That's not heavy. Good Lord, is that a load. My God. Man, you're like a porn lord, is that a load. My god. Man, you're like a porn star

if you have a load that big. Like a super shooter. My goodness. Blasted her across the room with that one. It's like an ostrich egg, I guess. I don't even know. That's amazing. If you're impressed by the size of the bully, you should see the size of the gun.

It's the tiniest little derringer. Okay, so he totally went off the rails. I mean, that doesn't even make any sense. You're basically saying, look, I think that we're thinking there's about something with viability, and now we're rolling the clock

back to the moment of conception? Why do we need to go rolling the clock back to the moment of conception. Like, why do we need to go all the way back there? You know, he's, he's making a straw man argument, basically saying, well,

you know, we need to worry about all these abortions that are happening at, you know, when a seven pound baby a week before it's due, um, which isn't even like, like most States already have fucking laws against that. Like 36 States already have laws that discourage or do not allow women to,

uh, to abort at that law, like that far into a pregnancy, 36 of the 50. Um, you know, and then there's other states that, that limited in different ways as well.

And there's other states that, that start, that don't talk about it at the end, but talk about it at the beginning, right? They talk about it at the end, but talk about it at the beginning. They talk about it like you can't abort after a certain number of weeks. So they're basically saying like after 20 weeks, you can't do it anymore. And there's states that have that sort of law. I don't even understand where he's going.

He's just like, we want to roll it all the way back. It's basically you would treat all the only way because you can't you don't know when somebody has conceived. It's not like a fucking it's not like playing Operation, right? Where the fucking nose lights up. It's not a slot machine. We're just like, oh, you have three sevens. You must be pregnant. Babies start shooting out of the little coin shoot.

Yeah, no more cherries there. We definitely have three sevens. No more cherries there. We definitely have three sevens. So you'd have to constantly you'd have to behave as if as if every woman were constantly pregnant at all times. There would be there would be no other way to because you otherwise have no ability to suss that information out. Right. And it's a solution in search of a problem. Yeah, because that's exactly it.

The statistics are that 99 percent of abortions occur 20 weeks or earlier. And abortions that occur in the third trimester, I looked this up earlier, it's 0.08%. So, you know, this idea that sounds so horrific, like, and it does sound horrific, this idea of a viable seven-pound baby being aborted like that's not a thing like like that's not how like it's not like it's not like all across america right now women fucking carry babies to 39 and three quarter weeks and then instead of delivering they're just like fucking kill i know i know and then doctors just like like reach in there and just like punch the baby yeah like what Like, where do you think we live? Like, nobody's doing these things.

Nobody would do these things. I think what they're thinking is, you know, that there's this malicious act behind, the mother has this malicious act. They're just like, ah, you know, I can't wait. I'm really psyched up about getting my abortion this weekend. You know, I've kept my, I've fucking basically, you know, used my body as a, you know, what right i've kept my i've fucking basically you know use my body as a you know what's eventually going to be a grenade launcher you know what i mean like it's just like like my body for like this long has basically i mean pregnancy is not it's not ultimately easy for all women you know i mean like there's there's a lot of difficult

pregnancies out there and pregnancy itself is like you know it totally messes with your whole fucking center of gravity and your balance and like your back starts hurting and all kinds of little aches and pains you're carrying around a lot more weight than you normally would you know it's all this extra stuff that goes on you think somebody's gonna go through all that fucking time be like fucking 30 fucking five weeks pregnant i know man like you know what i gotta give up on this one you know there's there's got to be something seriously wrong before somebody gets to that I know, that's not a baby that is viable at all. That's a fucking blood spot. You would call that a period. You know what I mean? Like that's what it looks. It's not a thing yet. You know? Yeah. When you start getting near the end of that 16

weeks, I'm sure it's a little bigger than that, but it's not, it is definitively not a baby. It is a, it is just a bunch of cells at that point. You know, once we start getting into viability outside of the womb, I'm kind of with you, man. Like, I think, you know, there could be some laws that could, you know, that I'm okay with as long as, you know, they leave in, uh, you know, uh, health of the mother in there, you know, if the health of the mother's threatened, if they leave like rape and incest in there, things like that, I'm okay with laws being in place to say, Hey, you know, the baby's 35 weeks. You can't fucking, you know, do anything to it. I'm okay with that. But once

we start getting into the fucking point of absurdity to be like, well, the moment you fucking wave your cock in front of her vagina, no more abortion. I just want to, like, get, like, a fucking Lego fun factory of abortions. If I was a woman, I would get pregnant as often as possible just to have abortions.

Just fucking... Just because it sounds fun. Sounds like a great time. Man, doesn't that sound good? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, and thankfully it's risk free. You get free juice and cookies afterwards. I think we got off the track when we allowed our government to become a secular government.

When we stopped realizing that God created this nation, that he wrote the Constitution, that it's based on biblical principles, and we allowed those that don't believe in those things to keep pushing us, pushing us, and pushing us away from the government. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Time to lay. Let's bring Jesus Christ back into our political system just like God intended. Sounds like somebody making beer, right? From the land of Skybrew Waters. Do you want to listen to what time?

It's only a minute long. Do you want to hear what he has to say? I know. It's a minute and five seconds. Okay. It's a little longer, but I think the five seconds is the right wing watch logo at the end. All right. I'll do it.

I'll do it. Tom DeLay on the Tom DeLay, goofy Tom DeLay stuff. The point is, is that we've got to rewrite the federal government. Now, this is not going to happen overnight. What the fuck? Rewrite the government. Rewrite the government. Doesn't he sound drunk, too?

Who wrote the government on my wall? Who wrote the government? Whoewrite the government. Rewrite the government. Doesn't he sound drunk, too? Who wrote the government on my wall? Who wrote the government? Who? Who? Who? Okay. All right. So listen to him say that again, Tom.

I'm going to rewind it all the way to the beginning. Doesn't he sound drunk? The point is that we've got to rewrite the federal government. Now, this is not going to happen overnight. It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today. It could probably take 50 years to turn it around. Wait, wait. Slow your roll.

It took 130 years? What happened? Wait, I'm actually genuinely curious. Wait, didn't we have like a bicentennial in 1976? Wait, 130 years? Didn't we have? What happened in 1884? 130 years!

Wait. The fuck? It took 130 years. 130 years, though. Well, wait a minute. Did it take 130 years from the time maybe Columbus landed and raped the first Indian? I don't think so. No, because 1492 to 1776, that's 300 years almost.

Wait, where does this 130 years come from? I don't know. We're clearly missing something obvious or he is. Right. Yeah. 130 years? I don't even know what that means. It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today.

It could probably take 50 years to turn it around. But if we stand on the Constitution... Dirty Constitution. You literally have to stand on the Constitution. You have to lay the Constitution on the ground and stand on it. I actually used the original... I stole National Treasure style the original Constitution.

And it's my fucking welcome mat. I was going to say it's your bathroom mat. You shake your dick off on it. I have some respect for it. Nothing in my bathroom deserves that. And everything else comes together. So what I'm asking you to do and pray for is spiritual revival.

Let's bring Jesus Christ back into our political system and stand for him unashamedly because none of this is going to happen without God none of what Cecil he hasn't identified what's supposed to happen the rewriting of the government the rewriting of the government I forgot I'm dim

I remember in 1884 when we wrote the first government it sat down. It was our not-so-founding fathers. Right. It sat down. It was like, you know, the people who fought in the Civil War. Oh, my God.

What a weirdo, dude. It ain't going to happen without a guy. It ain't going to happen without a guy. And secondly, demand a revolution for the Constitution. A revolution for the Constitution. And let's impose that. What the what is he talking about?

It's a revolution for the Constitution. It just rhymes. I know. That's what that means. I know. See, you've got to harken back to the days of the presidency of Chester Arthur. That's not a thing. He was the 21st President of the United States. I've never heard that name.

In 1884. I've never heard that name. He was probably good at it. Was he assassinated or something? He died two years later, yeah. He died in 1886. I'll tell you what. Of death.

Yeah, 21st President. I've never heard that guy. In our political system, let's bring it back the way God intended it and the way God wrote it. Then your children will have a different future. Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh. The way God wrote it? God wrote it. God wrote it in 1884.

He gave it to Chester Arthur. What he did is he wrote it on a tablet, a golden tablet. And then he buried it. And then he sent an angel down. And then Joseph Smith borrowed it for a little while. And then he gave it to Chester Arthur. Chester Arthur. Right.

But they lost it. I think they buried it under a little while and then he gave it to Chester Arthur. Chester Arthur. Right. But they lost it. I think it's, they buried it under a tree again somewhere. It's terrible. Chester Arthur. And then, who did he give it to after Chester Arthur? I don't know. The next president? James Garfield. Grover Cleveland.

It was after that. Grover Cleveland. Grover Cleveland. You can't go wrong with a name like Grover either. Right? You know, the nice go wrong with a name like Grover either. Right? You know, the nice thing is with a name like Grover, you can either be a president or a Sesame Street Muppet. I mean, that's just

fucking win all the way around. Oh, man. I think he makes a compelling argument that we need to rewrite the government. I don't even know what he's talking about. Well, you've got to fucking rub some Jesus on it then, Cecil. Because that's the way God wrote it. But the thing is, if God wrote it, why do we have to rewrite

it? Because he wrote it in fucking invisible ink, and we lost the black light of Jesus. That's right. He gave it to Chester Arthur. That was the problem. He gave it to fucking Chester Arthur. Fucking Chester Arthur. God damn it, Chester! Where's was the problem. That gave me the fucking Chester Arthur. Fucking Chester Arthur. God damn it, Chester. Where's my black light of Jesus?

You got to take your civics class. It's like, did you read the government today? Oh, fuck. Well, if you didn't read it, you got to write it. You got to write one down quick. You got 20 minutes before class. You better write it up. Write a government.

Write the government. Ridiculous idiot. We need a revolution for the constitution he's clearly drunk like he is drunk on sacramental wine standing in front everybody there's no way you can be slurring your words that much and not make a lick of sense like that's that's like you know you got home at 2 a.m and your dad's really drunk and he wants to have a talk with you you know what i mean like it's that that's what it is and he wants to have a talk with you. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it is. Son, son, son, son, son.

And he's just like, look, wait, hold on a second. We got to rewrite the government. We got a revolution. You put the carpet in the pot, and then you go south on I-80. Wait, no. You kids, you kids, you kids, you kids, you kids. Oh, man. The revolution for the Constitution.

Basically, we've turned every drunk dad into a sleep talker. I know, right? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this next story comes, uns unsurprisingly from Right Wing Watch.

Anti-LGBT activists are furious that discriminatory businesses received bad reviews. Well, they shouldn't be furious. They should expect that. When you act like a giant ass bag, people will say, hey, ass bag alert. Because it's 2014 and Yelp apps. Oh, man. It's fucking awesome, dude. Yelp fucking laid the hammer down on these people, man. I'll tell you

what. There's not a lot of reviews either. What's funny is there's only like nine reviews. It's not like there's a bergillion reviews. There's just nine of them. That's it. But they're furious about it. So I want to play, this is, uh, this is Matt Staver of Liberty council and Tony Perkins of the family research council.

Uh, and they're, uh, this is their show called, uh, freedom's call. So I'm going to play, it's about 50 seconds long. Homosexual activists attack Christian businessmen on social media. Hi, I'm Matt Staver, founder and chairman of Liberty Council. We'll talk about this next on Freedom's Call. The battle over same-sex marriage has spread to the business review sites. The Inn of the Abintons in Pennsylvania has been the target of homosexual activists after it refused to host a same-sex wedding.

The Inn's social media business ratings have been attacked with false reviews, not based on the quality of the Inn's service, but based on the owner's religious beliefs. The same activists are citing the Inn's stand for natural marriage as a justification for a new state bill, HB 300, which would require the Inn, as well as churches, to participate in same-sex weddings. So they're mad because people who haven't actually done and gone to this business, they are raiding this company. And they're mad at it. Yeah, well, what we should do, Cecil, is rewrite the internet. If we just rewrite the internet and have a revolution for our institution. It's going to take a lot of code, my friend. Get cracking, because that's not my forte.

Let me tell you, man. Yeah, man, it's like, that's how the fucking internet works, man. Like, that's how it works. Like, that's how Yelp works. Not everybody on Yelp, not everybody on Yelp has been to the fucking whatever cafe. But I'll tell you what, if you found out from your buddy that you're not welcome at the whatever fucking cafe but i'll tell you what if you found out from your buddy that you're not at welcome at the whatever fucking cafe you'll make that known that's how that shit works that's how social media works it is social yeah and you can't stop it like it and and it's funny

because they got all these negative reviews you don't see the out you know they those negative reviews in their mindset you would think that they would be drowned out by the positive reviews, right? That they would be the noise amidst the soaring accolades of all of the people standing behind the bigots. But we don't see that. What you see is the bigots, the criticism of of the bigots and then people who are unhappy that the bigots are being criticized but you don't see the groundswell of support you know it's not like they have nine bad reviews and 900 reviews from fucking thrilled christians because their business would go up if more people were bigots i want to read this is chris r's uh yelp review so i went there and i saw that they were catering to a girl who had had sex before marriage and that was that was the worst they also had garments of mixed

fabrics total abomination i i like the idea that you know you know you go the other way be like okay look you know yeah i i'm fine with you not serving gays, but man, if you have mixed fabrics there, fuck you. Right. That's it. How dare you? You know, this restaurant bought grain that was planted in the same row as another grain. Forget it. Not going to be able to attend that restaurant.

You know what's going to be great, man, is because the internet is going to be unkind to these people. Sure. Because they're out of touch like the people who are the people who are the the uh anti-lgbt rights people are generally speaking really out of touch i mean otherwise they probably wouldn't be bigots so they're gonna get fucking pummeled by the internet the internet is going to be the fucking massive wedge of fucking reason that crushes these dipshits. I feel like too, that this is always bitching about, you know, the free

market. They want the free market to be able to say, Hey, look, man, we can decide who we want. We can, we can decide to serve who we want. Okay, well, fine. But you don't want to have to deal with the backlash that that causes. The backlash that that's going to cause is people are going to talk about you, whether you like it or not, they're going to talk about what you did. And if you can't handle that press, if you can't handle that publicity, then you're not about the free market.

What you're about is a protected market, a market that allows you to decide who you want to serve and you want to get away with it. Well, you basically want to what you want to do is have black drinking fountains then. You know what I mean? Because that's, I mean, if you want to be able to serve who you want, then, then the fact of the matter is, is that, you know, somebody who's a bigot should be able to look at, you know, a black person and be like, Hey man, you know,

I don't want you people here. You can get takeout, but you can't stay inside. You know what I mean? You wouldn't, you would think that that's awful. You would think that that's a horrible position. The same thing goes for you. And so if people are going to talk about you, you're going to have to fucking ride that wave of resentment. You know, and it's not, let's, let's be super clear too. Like they're not, there's no religious persecution taking place. None at all. They're still absolutely free to practice their religion. In fact, in this case, they're, they're absolutely free to practice their religion in a way that is discriminatory to homosexuals. It's not infringing on their religious rights to point out that their religious rights are not in agreement with your desire to spend money at their shop, right? So it's not like their religious rights, and this is something you hear all the time, like,

oh, they're being attacked. Their religious rights are being violated by the LGBT activist zealots. It's like, well, no one's infringing upon your rights, but they are aggressively engaging you in a public conversation. And that's not infringing upon your rights, but they are aggressively engaging you in a public conversation. And that's not infringing on your free speech. Free speech and public right to have worship doesn't mean that you get to do it at the exclusion of other people and without criticism. You still get to get criticized. That's the other guy's right.

You have your right to be a shithead. And they have their right to say, there be shitheads. Yeah, exactly. And point at you. There be shitheads here. Somebody has the best name for a patron. It's awesome. All right, so we want to thank our patrons.

best name for a patron. It's awesome. All right, so we want to thank our patrons. All of our patrons, we especially want to thank the new ones. I might be reading a couple of these again. Natasha, Jonathan, Steve, Gold, John, Manos, the hands of fate, and David. Thank you all very much for your generous donations uh your hard-earned money make sure uh that the show continues and we really appreciate it we also got a message from someone this week who said by the way uh i'm taking away some of the money that i've been giving you guys

because i want to donate it to somewhere else and donate it to like a worthy cause like foundation way i believe and we're like that's fine We're actually happy that you're doing that. We think that's a great cause. And we certainly do not begrudge anyone, uh, who is, uh, who's giving money to those people. And in fact, our Christmas, uh, our Christmas drive this year is going to be for foundation beyond belief. Um, we're going to put something together within the next, I want to say within the next couple months. And what we're going to do is we're going to do a matching. So we're going to match everybody's dollar up to, I want to say we're going to do like 17 or $2,000. We're not sure exactly. I think we'll probably do $2,000. So up to $2,000, we'll match all the money. So when we put that

thing live, if you donate one hundred bucks, we'll match your hundred bucks all the way up to two thousand. So hopefully we can raise four thousand dollars for Foundation Beyond Belief right around Christmas time. That's going to be our sincere hope. So stick around and stick to stay tuned for when that's going to happen. We'll keep we'll keep you posted on that. But we're happy that people are given the Foundation Beyond Belief. We think it's a wonderful cause. And truly and honestly, if you're looking at our show and thinking, I've only got $10 that I can donate, donate it to something like,

I mean, don't get me wrong, we're happy, we're thrilled for all of our patrons. But if you're in a position where you think, I've only got $10, where is the best place for that to be? Foundation Beyond Belief would be something to take a look at. We didn't get a ton of email. We did get a poem, though, from Max, Tom. Yeah, Max wrote this. The good news is you can live by our rules, sing our songs, take up our causes, take our word for it, and ask us no questions. The good news is you aren't free and never will be. I like that. Nice short.

Short and to the point. I like it. That's great. Thanks for writing it. We appreciate Max. And Max also says that, you know, ever since he was in middle school, he was a skeptic and he says he hasn't been brave enough to share it with his family. And he thanks us for being a place where he can escape and pretend he skeptic, and he says he hasn't been brave enough to share it with his family, and he thanks us for being a place

where he can escape and pretend he's not, where he doesn't have to pretend he's something that he isn't. So we're glad we're an outlet for you, Max. I'm sure we're an outlet for a lot of people, and we hope you keep listening. We got a message from Glenn. I love this. He says, Hey guys, love your podcast. Where I live, you occasionally

see a Muslim woman covered head to toe in a burqa, or whatever it's called. I saw a woman wearing a burqa, and I was struck with wonder. I wonder how many times has a Muslim husband grabbed what he thought was his wife. Oh, Jesus. Only to find when he got home, it was somebody else's wife. And I can see them just saying, look, you don't need any stonings, and I don't need any lashes. So let's just keep this among ourselves.

You don't need any stonings. You really can only sustain one stoning. Let's be honest. You don't need this and I don't need that. So let's just pretend this didn't occur. I love it. I think that's great. I think that's very funny. Thanks, Glenn. Finally, we got a great comment

on our skeptics creed, Tom. This is a good one. This was probably one of my favorite comments we received in a long time on the blog. Asking questions are a really good thing if you are not understanding something completely. Solemn thing. Solemn thing completely. Solemn thing.

But this paragraph presents fastidious understanding yet. Here is my website. Russian business. Russia B2B email list. That's fucking great. Oh, it's good stuff. I love it when they just get, like, as you read through it, you're like, if you are not understand Solom thing completely, you're just like, wait, what?

Wait, what's going on here? We get some good ones. Some of the best stuff we get is in the, it just goes straight into the spam box. But we constantly get like, you know, the penis size stuff. We get stuff for that all the time. That's for me. Don't put that in the spam. All right.

I'm going to mark that as not spam. Here's one, Tom. Be the king in your bedroom. Do I get a cord that over? Do I get a little crown? Wait a minute. You don't wear a crown? Look, I figure if I bring a scepter to the party. A scepter, that's generous, my friend. Well, that's it for this week. We are going to leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music