Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 174: The Itch ;-)

Episode Date: September 1, 2014

    Come to our picnic!    

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Hello, gentlemen, or violent men, as you prefer. This is James calling. I was just listening to the most recent episode and the piece you were doing on David Bartlett talking about abortion and political careers. And I think you missed an important point, which is that what he's arguing when he says it's easier to stop someone from winning the election for dog catcher

than it is to stop them from winning the election for mayor is that David Bartlett is advocating that if you have someone who's going to be an ideological political opponent, you should kill their political career in the womb. Glory to the Glory, gentlemen. Hey guys, this is Evan from California. And I was just listening to your episode where you had that clip from that guy

who was talking about how there's some number of species in nature and absolutely none of them abort. And I really wonder if that guy thought about, you know, trying to look that up and see if it was in any way true before he said that, or if he was just like, no, no, this conforms to my philosophy. I think I'll just, I'll just say this, because there's this really obscure species of animal called the horse that, um, it's hard to keep them from aborting because there's this amazing evolutionary adaptation where the male horses will kill any foal that might not be theirs that they come across.

So in order to prevent their foal from getting murdered by a stallion, a female horse in estrus, unless she gets railed by absolutely every stallion, and no stallion can know for certain whether the foal is its offspring or not, she will preemptively abort it to ensure that it doesn't get killed by a stallion that thinks it might not be his father. So it's not that no other animals abort, it's just that no other animals have clinics. Anyway, great show. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dismiss.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 174 of Cognitive Distance. This is the fucking Lonely Hearts episode. After the last two, we were fucking recording in the same room, and now I have to sit here and smell my own farts for a champion. This is terrible. By yourself.

Drink yourself into oblivion instead of feeding me beers the entire time. That was my secret plan. The only way for me to actually get you anywhere approaching my level of professionalism is to feed you beers and then hit you with a fucking hammer. get you anywhere approaching my level of professionalism is to feed you beers and then hit you with a fucking hammer. That's pretty much what needs to happen. I guess alternatively,

I could also ask you to teach a nine-year-old to shoot an Uzi. That would also kind of... I hear that's a risky job. You get a little extra pay for that. Danger pay is danger pay is included the hazard pay it's it's included but they pay hourly for it and it's about three minutes so it's paid by the second right the hourly rate is great but your time on the clock is pretty low man um you know there was a story that we're referring to it's fucking crazy

it's kind of blowing up all over the place. I actually saw it in the front of the New York Times today when I was at Starbucks. So family goes on vacation. I guess when you go to, you know, you go on vacation, there's certain parts of the country where you can just pay people to let you shoot machine guns and, you know, whatever. So this was part of that. I read a little story from the Times. So this family did the whole like, hey, we're going to go see the Grand Canyon and drive around and do this

and do that. And then we're going to go to this shooting range in the middle of the desert and we're going to shoot fucking automatic weapons. We're going to shoot including an Uzi. Now Cecil, if you and I did that, it would be no more noteworthy I don't think. It would just be a thing. It would be just like

we did a thing and that would be it more noteworthy, I don't think. It would just be a thing. It would be just like, ah, we did a thing. And then that would be it. Right. But here in America, there evidently are no laws about how old you have to be to shoot an Uzi. I want to see like the toddlers that they give the Uzi to, right? Like, oh, he's a year and a half old. He should be shooting by now. Let's give him that Uzi. He's got to protect himself from fucking immigrant toddlers.

That's like a little baby machine gun. It's so small. That's why the Uzi is small. It's give him that Uzi. He's got to protect himself from fucking immigrant toddlers. That's like a little baby machine gun. That's why the Uzi is small. It's the cutest submachine gun. It's a doable. It's the little submachine gun that could. It's so little it can make it on its own. So this fucking

fourth grade kid is given a fucking submachine gun and the instructor's like, all right, well, you know, put it on full auto. Give her a little rip. Let it rip. He's had better ideas, but he hasn't had any subsequent ideas. Why is that, Tom? Because she fucking shot him with a submachine gun. Because she's a fourth grader holding an Uzi.

In the face. All you have to say, Cecil, all you have to say is like, wait a minute. You gave a fourth grader an Uzi. I mean, it's absurd. Like, I read it, and I was like, no. Nobody would do that. Yeah. That's crazy. Nobody living would do that.

I actually, I came home, and I felt bad because I have a second grader. And, you know, I wouldn't give him an Uzi because that would be irresponsible. He's only a second grader. You've got to wait, evidently, until fourth grade would be irresponsible he's only a second grader you gotta wait evidently till fourth grade for that yeah but i just like covered his bed in shotguns yeah when he got you know just just i mean but they're all they're all you know uh uh double barrel you know we can't get in too much trouble sure he's got to reload every other shot reload every other shot it just takes too long right did you did you play like was it william Tell with him? Did you put, like, an apple on your fucking head or something?

Well, we had to. I mean, what fun would it be if we weren't shooting fucking targets off of our head? I mean, what kind of crazy family vacation is it like where you're like, let's take that fourth grader out and shoot a submachine gun in the desert? Oh, man. I guess, you know, part of me wants to say different strokes, but part of me wants to say that shouldn't be a thing that should happen because i mean really you know this guy i watched the video and the cut of the video i saw ends right before he gets shot right

in the face i mean it's like you could see the thing zipping sideways right so like he's sort of showing her this is how you hold it this is where you stand put this leg back here's the you know move your shoulder this way he's doing a good job of sort of putting her body behind it so that it's not moving too much she squeezes off a shot it shoots totally misses she's he's like a little to the left that's okay she's basically shooting her from the hip you know what i mean like she's shooting it from the you know i don't want to say the hip but certainly from the chest you know i mean she's not she's not aiming she's not pointing down the barrel and like looking down it she's looking down it. She's just holding it. She's probably scared to death

of the thing. Yeah, fucking maybe. I mean, maybe. I mean, if I was in fourth grade and somebody handed me a machine gun, I'd be fucking nervous. Well, then he says, pull some rounds off, and she just goes, and it cuts. The video I saw cut right before the guy gets it in the face,

but it just streams straight across that, that, that, that, and then it stops. You know, I think the problem, uh, you know, you're going to have here is there's a bunch of people on the one side who are just like, yeah, no matter what, you're going to have accidents with guns, right? You're going to have accidents with guns. That's just, you know, guns are a dangerous thing and there's going to be accidents. But part of me wants to say like, shouldn't there be something that says, you know, like a little kid shouldn't be able to touch a fully automatic weapon? I guess I don't mind so much if it's just like one shot in there, right? There's a little less danger, I think, if there's just like one thing in the barrel or in the magazine.

just like one thing in the barrel or in the magazine. But if it's, you know, suddenly there's, you know, a whole fucking full clip in there and it's fully automatic, that feels real dangerous to give to somebody who, you know, probably doesn't have the strength to even hold it. Well, look, we wouldn't let her drive a car. Right. You know, it's not like we'd be like, oh, we're going to let her let her drive this. And like, let's even like make an apt comparison. Right. Like a machine gun is kind of like the Ferrari of, you know, I mean, it's like it's fast and it's dangerous and it's like it's particularly it's a different animal than like.

guns at all personally i just i just don't see the reason for it i can't think of why a fourth grader demonstrates the fucking maturity generally speaking necessary to shoot a fucking gun but i mean let me saying like saying like not only do i let my fourth grader drive a car i let her drive a ferrari just like ah we thought it would be all right there was an instructor in the passenger seat telling her don't crash into anything. Right. Not only do I let her drive, I let her drive a jet. Right. Like, we let her drive like a fucking bucket loader.

Yeah. Right? Like, there's so many things you don't let a fourth grader do, but only here in America we're like, where guns are such a part of the culture that we can't, we can't even separate them. We can't even consider a law that says something like, maybe kids shouldn't shoot them? Maybe?

Kids? Like, little kids? Like, nine-year-old girls should not be shooting fucking machine guns? I just, yeah, it boggles my mind that that would even be a thing that you can let your nine-year-old do. But, you know, I mean, there's all those stories, though, of people who have been shooting since they were a little in. And you're like, okay, well, there's some kids that can handle that clearly, and there's some kids that can't. Right. And now she's one of the ones that can't.

Now she has to wake up tomorrow knowing she shot a dude in the face on vacation. And I also have to say, that's going to be the most awkward what I did over summer break essay. Yeah, that essay's going to be... There's going to be a lot of tears on that essay when she hands it in. You're all sick! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance.

The whole world's gone gay! Oh my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now! So the first actual story we're going to cover comes from the Raw story. A GOP candidate, but not just any candidate. It's Klingenschmitt. Captain Turtleneck himself.

Colorado gay congressmen will behead Christians who don't worship sodomy. This guy's fucking crazy. So he sent an email out to his constituents and then he tried to backpedal from it because it was like clearly an insane email full of just outright lies and fabrications and then when he got caught on it he's just like ah that was hyperbole you know hyperbole when you just lie about shit yeah it's like the equivalent of like a shitty comment on the internet and putting a winky face after it right you know just like winky winky come on i you're just a big jag off winky winky right right wake up sheeple winky winky okay fine fuck you i hate your fucking mom for birthing you that's how fucking annoyed i am by that i think the main problem is when you start quoting shit from the

bible i automatically think you're incapable of hyperbole. Like, I automatically just put you in a category of people where I'm just like, everything you say, because if you believe the Bible's literally true, fucking what else do you say that's fucking, everything you say is literal then, because nothing's crazier than what you think. It's like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You didn't think this was a metaphor? Did you watch this video? I didn't watch the video, no, I just read the transcript. So it looks like he's standing out in the middle of, you know, nice little area out in the middle of Colorado there. But if you play this video, there's a fucking shadow at the bottom of it where he's clearly got a fucking screen behind him. There's a screen of some sort.

So basically, instead of taking, taking you know the three minutes the three fucking minutes it would take in a car ride any pretty much in any direction to find a fucking mountain in colin he's gotta pull out he's too lazy his producers are too lazy they gotta pull a fucking screed out yeah right that's i the thing is that it might have messed up his not hair hair yeah it's not their hair and this is an ice bucket challenge actually i don't know if you knew but The thing is that it might have messed up his not-hair hair. Yeah. His not-there hair. And this is an ice bucket challenge, actually. I don't know if you knew, but it literally is. And at the end of it, he dumps ice on himself.

And he says, I call out, he called out like the Speaker of the House and a couple other people. And the first thing that comes to mind is like, isn't there a Levitical law against ice bucket challenges? You know, I do want to read what he says in his email. He says, Polis wants sexual orientation and gender identity treated the same way as race, religion, sex, and national origin when it comes to employment protections. Polis trims Enda's religious exemptions. The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next, he'll join ISIS in beheading That doesn't sound like hyperbole. That's not. I mean, yeah, like how would you get from that?

Like, oh, he's just kidding. That crazy Klingenschmitt and his hilarious jokes about beheadings. I mean, I don't know, man. I mean, I guess when you say he'll join ISIS in beheading. But the thing is, he didn't say he'll join ISIS as like he's going to fly over there and become a Muslim. He's just like he's just going to join him in beheading Christians. The way he states it is like, oh, well, he'll just be beheading Christians like those people in ISIS. Not like he's joining them and they're coming over here together. Right?

Right. And if you were going to do this in a way that was intentionally hyperbolic, you would probably preface it with some kind of precursor statement like, what's next? Exclamation question mark. Is he going to join ISIS and start beheading Christians? Okay, now I know you're just using a literary device meant to exaggerate, right? But he doesn't say that. Instead, he says it like as if it's just like, and then he is going to do that. Like, and then he will go to the grocery store and he will get milk. And it's because he's fucking a biblical literalist.

You immediately just assume he's saying it. It's like, yeah, okay. yeah, he's going to do that. And they'd be like, no, no, I'm kidding. Oh, well, you're fucking so serious about a fucking arc. I didn't realize you were fucking kidding. Yeah, total number of Christians who have been beheaded in America by homosexual radicals, zero fucking Christians. The fucking scoreboard is not changing on this one.

Yo, science. What is it all about? Technology. What is that all about? Is it good or is it whack? So this next story comes from smackmyhead.com, or rather sydneymorningherald.com. Science, not God, saved him from Ebola.

So recently, Dr. Kent Brantley, he was an American doctor. He contracted Ebola in Liberia when he was there to help. And he was released from the hospital, and he was cured of the virus. So they said you know there's there's no detectable ebola he's doing fine he's recovering and that's great um but i actually watched this guy's like press conference and you want to hear it yeah i got a little piece of it i got a piece of it yeah i got a piece of it so it's uh the piece i have i think it's a couple minutes long maybe two and a half minutes. I'll probably stop at some portion throughout so we can talk a little bit about it.

But here's this guy, and it's from a press conference from ABC. Today is a miraculous day. I'm thrilled to be alive, to be well, and to be reunited with my family. As a medical missionary, I never imagined myself in this position. When my family and I moved to Liberia last October to begin a two-year term working with Samaritan's Purse. What?

I know, right? Like, man, I didn't think, I thought everything would be smooth sailing. I thought it was going to be a fucking cakewalk. And when I moved my family to Liberia, hey, want to hear some words that you'll never hear from me? Cecil, great news. I sold the house. We're moving the family, packing up and going to Liberia.

I would be more, I would be less shocked if you told me your son shot a newsie. Dude, it would be safer i would be less shocked if you told me your son shot a newsie dude it would be safer to teach him it would be it would be yeah safer than oh goodness anyway so there's a lot more ebola was not on the radar we moved to liberia because god called us to serve the people of liberia after taking amber and our children to the airport to return to the States on Sunday morning, July 20th, I poured myself into my work even more than before. Transferring patients to our new, bigger isolation unit, training and orienting new staff, and working with our human resources officer to fill our staffing needs. After getting Ebola, he could have poured himself into a glass if he didn't recover from it. We need

more humans. Quick, get the human resource guy. I cut this up a little. There's a part that I skipped over there where he basically talks about how he got... He wasn't getting it, but there was an outbreak. So that's why he sent his wife and children home.

So that's why they were at the airport. Three days later, on Wednesday, July 23rd, I woke up feeling under the weather. And then my life took an unexpected turn as I was diagnosed with Ebola virus disease. As I lay in my bed in Liberia for the following nine days, getting sicker and weaker each day, I prayed that God would help me be faithful, even in my illness. And I prayed that in my life or in my death, that he would be glorified. I did not know then, but have learned since, that there were thousands, maybe even millions of people around the world praying for me throughout that week and even still today.

Okay. Right? It's like, you know, the best part is like, and as I lay in my bed getting sicker, and then later I was airlifted to an acute care hospital because that wasn't working. Yeah, he gets to that here. And I've heard story after story of how this situation has impacted the lives of individuals around the globe, both among my friends and family and also among complete strangers. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and your support. But what I can tell you is that I serve a faithful God who answers prayers.

Through the care of the Samaritan's Purse and SIM missionary team in Liberia, the use of an experimental drug, and the expertise and resources of the healthcare team at Emory University Hospital, God saved my life. What?

What? What? What kind of delusional bibble jabble is that? I can't believe he just said that. I mean, you know, he's saying like God, maybe he's saying God saved him through these people, I guess.

I mean, that's the only thing because fucking, I don't give a fuck how many people prayed for it because I'm sure the people in, you know, in Liberia are wanting some motherfuckers to pray for them and be like, oh, man, I really wish someone would pray for me. Oh, my fucking organs liquefied. Fuck. Right?

It's like, it's like your God is a capricious dick. If he only can hear you, either that or he fucking needs a hearing aid. Like, how many fucking voices does it take for him to pay attention to one life? What this reminds me of is this is kind of narcissism people think when they have a very personal God. It's almost like they're in the Truman Show. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where they just think, you know, but instead of like everybody watching them, there's just like one really important person

watching them all the time. And that person can, you know, like when you, you know, in the Truman Show, when they needed to make him late for work, they would fucking make his fucking car not work or whatever, or, you know, they'd turn his car off or they'd, you know, make him lose his keys and then he'd have to be late for work

so they could fucking put the people back in the places where they need to be, et cetera. But, you know, I mean, that's, that's what I think this guy thinks. This guy thinks that he's the most important person in the world because clearly the people that he was treating that all died from it and didn't have the funds or the ability to get fucking airlifted back to the United States so they could get fucking, you know, cured of this disease. They certainly don't have that, uh, you know, of this disease they certainly don't don't have that uh you know that ability doesn't it make you wonder how the calculus works too like how many prayers to save one white life million you know and how many how many how many prayers for a brown life because clearly it's

not the same thing i don't know what the exchange rate is i don't know what it is either it's like it's like if you give god the credit for saving you from the disease, don't you have to give him the credit for giving you the disease? I guess. I mean, I don't know how the devil gives it to you. I don't know. Yeah. And then like, what about the 1200 people who fucking died of the disease? Was God just like, whatever, fucking, I don't give a shit.

It's like, and then, and then when he's like, yeah, fucking, you know, and it was the experimental drug and the doctors and the nurses and the care. And it's like, that'd be like saying like, you know, I took out my welder and I plugged it into the wall. And thanks to Commonwealth Edison for the electricity. And thanks for the TIG welder and the steel. I was able able because of God to weld those two pieces of steel together. God welded them! Thank you, Jesus, for welding that steel!

Oh, praise it! What are you talking about? You just named like five physical things that were needed in order for the fucking action to be accomplished and then at the end you're just like, oh, I don't forget step six when Jesus fucking flipped down the fucking welding helmet.

What are you talking about? There's still like, I think, 30 more seconds left. I don't know if he says anything interesting. Let's listen. A direct answer to thousands and thousands of prayers. My dear friend Nancy Wrightbowl, upon her release from the hospital, wanted me to share her

gratitude for all of the prayers on her behalf. As she walked out of her isolation room, all she could say was, to God be the glory. Again, before we slip out, I want to express my deep and sincere gratitude to Samaritan's Purse, SIM, Emory, and all of the people involved in my treatment and care. Above all, I am forever thankful to God for sparing my life, and I'm glad for any attention my sickness has attracted to the plight of West Africa in the midst of this epidemic. Please continue to pray for Liberia and the people of West Africa and encourage those in positions of leadership and influence

to do everything possible to bring this Ebola outbreak to an end. We should make those people who are in positions of power just pray. Yeah, well, that's the solution to the fucking problem. Why don't we just fucking airlift them and then give them fucking experimental drugs and fucking you know quality fucking health care at an acute care hospital because i think that's actually a thing you can do like that's a solution that works turns out that works fucking this guy is fucking insane this is the most fucking white privilege narcissistic bullshit I have ever heard in my life.

Like, yeah, thanks, God, for sparing my life. And I should pray for all those fucking African folks that are down there because they're dying by the thousands. Man. If they had a helilifter, they'd be much, much better off. But they don't. I mean, I'm glad God loves me, but y'all be fucked. Yeah. much better off but they don't i mean i'm glad god loves me but y'all be fucked yeah i i wonder um you know how like they classify all the gods in different pantheons is like this is the god of fishing and this is the god of thunder and this is the god of you know light whatever you know

like all those different things i wonder when you know you know let's say a thousand years in the future the human species is still around and they're looking back at this you know, you know, let's say a thousand years in the future, the human species is still around and they're looking back at this, you know, Judeo-Christian God that everybody's looking to now. And it's just kind of like, it's the same thing. They just look at it and it's another, yet another thing that people looked at and they're just like, they don't think it's real, but they classify it in some way. What do you classify this God as? Like, it's like the God of traffic lights, like getting you out of traffic lights, and the God of

get-out-of-debt-free water, and the God that selectively heals one person and kills a thousand. The God of inscrutable, capricious decision-making. Right. The God who is completely reflected in modern science

and then praised because of it. Right, exactly. I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense they're benefiting from everything that religious culture is built in America, but they're doing nothing to add energy into the system. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Kevin Sorbo and Rick Wiles agree. No surprise there. Atheists are angry because they know God exists. So Kevin Sorbo's been ballyhooing about the bullshit table

to try to fucking promote the DVD of that God is real or God's not dead or whatever it is. What was it called? God is not dead, I think. What's his name? Kevin Sorbo. Isn't that the guy who cuts Z's into shit with his sword? Sorbo?

Well, he actually cuts H's because he was the former Hercules. Oh, okay. At first when he said Kevin Sorbo, I thought that was a kind of noodle, and then I was like, no, that's a different thing. It's a delicious Sorbo noodle soup. Sorbo. I mean, this is this fucking tired old canard right like do you want to hear

it do you want to hear him quack this let's hear it let's fucking hear him here's here's kevin sorbo quacking away on rick wiles fucking end times radio atheists that are uh you know such a small group of people in our country but so well organized and they get on tv all the time on fox and cnn and they rant and they rave. And I pretty much base the character off of these guys that I see just, you know, angry, filled with just hatred and anger. And, you know, on one hand, I feel sorry for them. On the other hand, I kind of laugh at them. I'm going, why would anybody spend so much time ranting and raving about something that they don't believe in?

There's a lot of things I don't believe in. I don't get angry about it and form, you know, foundations and groups and get on TV and go crazy on it. So I don't understand how these guys get such a big voice. I mean, I, you know, I go back to all these, you know, these past decades that you mentioned about with this chipping away at religion and how it's, you know, brought the country down. We're not the same country we used to be.

And we're not looked upon the same way we used to be, and that's sad to me. This is not the country that our founding fathers created. I think they're turning over in their graves right now as we speak. I mean, these guys get nativity scenes pulled down because they say it offends them. And I'm going, wait a minute. It's about every poll that I've ever seen

is anywhere between 85% and 90% of people in this country believe in something, whether it's God or the higher power, whatever they want to call it. They believe that something created all this, and they're offended that you take these nativity things down. So where's the majority's voice in this opinion anymore? I agree. And like you said about the energy and the resources they spend to fight against Christianity, I don't believe in the tooth fairy, but I don't

spend all my time trying to stop people from believing in the tooth fairy. Yeah, but are you trying to pass legislation that says that I'm supposed to fucking pull my teeth out with pliers to get change for them? Because if you're going to do that, then yeah, I'm going to start a fucking group against the tooth fairy.

How's that? I'm actually starting that legislation tomorrow. There's a fucking group against the tooth fairy. How's that? I'm actually starting that legislation tomorrow. There's a fucking we the people petition right now. Bums don't have any teeth in their mouth. Gone. Fucking random tooth fairy appears. All right. There's a little more.

You know, these guys, I mean, if they don't believe God exists, then what is the big deal? Why are they spending so much time and money if God doesn't exist? The truth is, Kevin, they know He exists. They hate Him. That's what it's all about. That's exactly what it is, and that's pretty much what my character is in the movie

God's Not Dead. I mean, I know these guys must believe in something, otherwise they wouldn't get so angry about it. And they don't like the fact that there's a higher power out there that's judging how they live their life. Wow, you got me, Cecil. I'm fucking furious, bro. I think we've got to end this show. I think this is the last episode.

I'm mad. We've been called out. Bro. I mean, it's not, you know, the reason I get angry is not because, you know, people get stoned to death or thrown in prison or their rights trampled on or, you know, treated like second class citizens. None of that is actually, all of that, the 173 and a half episodes of us talking about those issues, Cecil, that was all a smokescreen. Yeah, it's just because we're butthurt because we're afraid that there's a God or we're mad that there's a God.

I don't know, which one is it? Afraid or mad? I think I'm afraid that I'm mad. Or I'm mad that I'm afraid. Mad that I'm afraid. I don't know which. It's kind of both. I don't know what to do with myself.

Yeah, and it's like, and he's judging you. Oh, yeah. You know, here's the thing. It's like most days I wake up and I fucking kiss my wife and kids and I go to work and I provide for them. And then I come home and like do fucking menial domestic shit. And that's like the summation of my life. Right.

So like if God were judging me, he'd be like, fucking, you're boring. That would be the only judgment I'd get. I'd be like, you fucking had a life and you lived it in a bland and meaningless way. You're sinfully boring. Part of the problem with these folks is they're so hung up on the idea of sin and the thought crime of sin, right? Because most people don't really do anything immoral for most of their lives. You spend the majority of our lives being amoral, like we're neither good nor bad. We're just kind of there. And we're, you know, most of the decisions don't

have any great moral impact, most of the decisions that we make in our life. And so, but that doesn't work because if you're going to have a creator who ultimately judges you at every moment and you want to have that constant fear, because without the fear component of the religious piece, of the religious angle, without that fear component, you know, a lot of the drive toward religiosity is kind of just dissipates, just kind of goes away. toward toward religiosity is kind of just dissipates just kind of goes away so they have to make a lot of these like sins the things that you're supposed to feel bad and feel guilty about they have to internalize them by making them like fucking crazy thought crimes right like just the idea of lusting after a woman is enough it's like okay that's fucking dumb like that's fucking dumb. Like, that's just dumb.

Like, if my wife isn't offended if I fucking lust after another woman, why would God be? I know. It's not like you're in a personal relationship with him. You know what I mean? I didn't fucking say I'll cleave only unto you, God. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if my wife found out I thought a woman was attractive, she'd be like, yeah, it probably means your bits be working. Or she might agree. She might just be like, yeah, it probably means your bits be working. Or she might agree.

She might just be like, yeah, she's pretty attractive. Right. And that's the end of the fucking story. But like, it doesn't fit into that narrative, right? Into that, into that schema of, you know, these are the things that we need in order for religion to be scary. And if it's not scary, it doesn't, I mean, then there's really no need for it. Yeah.

So we're going to take a break and give you all the information you need to become a patron of the show. And we'll return in just a few moments with the rest of the program. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash dissonancePod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis.

If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from alternate.org. Five crazy myths about sex from the religious right. No surprises here, but they're fucking up your sex life. Like if you are a fucking religious right Christian, first of all, why are you listening to this show? Yeah. You have the wrong program on.

Also, your sex life is worse than mine. That's just fucking straight up out there at this point. So let's go through some of these, Cecil. Sure. What are some of the myths from here that you wanted to talk about? Well, I think that the one, it's number three, Planned Parenthood is trying to push your kids to have kinky sex. Someone basically tried to do a sting on Planned Parenthood. They went out of their way to get a video recorder somewhere on a person,

and they sent these people to talk to volunteers at Planned Parenthood. And they went in to talk to them about stuff. And while they were talking about just regular things they interjected like well my my boyfriend you know the person who's saying that they're basically 15 right like well my boyfriend wants to do stuff that he saw in like 50 shades of gray and then the person starts to explain oh well that's bondage and bondage can be you know some people express themselves through that sort of thing and it's important to have a safe word and the person's i went and watched this video and the person was just really just talking about sex and like when people have an interest in something she wanted to talk about it so this person is going out of their way to

explain a way in which to do it safe and a way in which that you know nobody's going to get injured and then they're like they're attacking her for it they're like oh my god can you believe they didn't like i guess fucking throw stones at the girl to send her away or something? Like, I don't even know what, what do you do with somebody that comes in when you're a volunteer organization that basically is trying to help educate people? What, you just don't educate them? I just could not believe that somebody wouldn't want to go out of their way to create a sting operation for Planned Parenthood. They've done that before in the past. operation for Planned Parenthood. They've done that before in the past. They've actually

done, there was that fucking, that dude who's, I want to say it was the same guy who did the fucking 9-11 truth conspiracy thing, those fucking, the truth thing we watched, whatever that thing was. What was that 9-11 movie? Oh yeah, Loose Change. I think it was the same guy. Loose Change, yeah. Did something with like Planned Parenthood and like sent it

to Fox and they fucking had a field day with it because he fucking selectively edited it. And this is the same thing. Although there's no way to edit around this with them not being helpful. What it's so funny because they have to go fishing for it. You know, it's not like people show up at Planned Parenthood and Planned Parenthood's got like

fucking like bad 90s industrial and fucking chains hanging from the ceiling and like free ball gags with every abortion. Like that's not that's not how it works. But it's like so they go in and they fucking go fishing and then

they're surprised when they catch fish. I mean that's what it is. It's like man do you see I went in there and I brought the subject up and then they responded to it knowledgeably. Yeah. Oh man. What are you talking about about you fucking lunatics um but

you know that that's part of the christian rights and this is this the very first one on here it's basically like sex education is bad for you yeah like sex education is bad for nobody yeah but i like this one i like number five contraception is a conspiracy to ruin the family. I don't even understand that one, dude. If you understood this one, I would be disappointed in you. Yeah. Yeah. Contraception to ruin the family.

It says that there were flyers. It says contraception itself is an evil that must be stomped out. Anti-choicers have blanketed the area neighborhoods with flyers urging residents to avoid the Planned Parenthood, which they say offers dangerous contraception, promotes and encourages sex without limits, and is destroying families. They argue that sex should only happen with no medication or barrier devices and only for couples open to new life so everybody's a fucking dugger yeah right everybody should just shit out as many kids as they can the uh the first one sex education is an attempt to get kids hooked on sex and basically the person saying that uh that planned parenthood is trying to get these people. I'm going to read directly. It says, the question is, is Planned Parenthood simply seeking to develop future customers

and make a profit akin to tobacco companies providing cigarettes to kids? It's a nonprofit. It's a nonprofit organization. Are they trying to make a profit? You can answer that question real easily and just say no. It's right. Non means no. Well, and Cecil, I don't know how to break this one, but everyone's addicted to sex.

Like, everyone is hooked on sex. Right. Like, Planned Parenthood is not required. Sex education is not required to get kids hooked on sex. Do you know what's required? Sex. Yeah. Like, it's awesome.

People like it. They've been doing it since the start of organisms. Do it a time, and then you're hooked. Yeah. First time's free. The rest of the time's free. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain,

and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your whopper. This story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. Harlem church rails against Obama. Muslims, no honor blacks. Wishes cancer, HIV and itchiness

on gay friendly believers. Wow, this church has a sign that reads, and this is the stationary part of the church sign. This is the blood of Jesus, atla, world missionary church. And then the little part where it tells you about the spaghetti dinner where you can change it.

All churches and members that support homos, cursed be thou with cancer, HIV, syphilis, stroke, madness, the itch, then hell. 1 Corinthians 6.9. The itch? Yeah. I think the itch is the least of your worries if you have cancer and a stroke. Right? The itch.

Hell, I'll take that. I'll take fucking HIV over cancer and a stroke. Are you kidding me? Yeah, like of all these, it's like stroke, madness, the itch. And then hell. The itch. So like that's just fucking insult to injury. You get down to hell and there's no fucking calamine lotion.

And hell is just, hell is nothing but poison ivy. Yeah, it's just a fucking big field of poison ivy. Like everywhere you go, it's just fucking poison ivy up to your balls. That's what it is. Jesus. Look at this church sign and tell me, tell me somehow that religion isn't hurting other people, right? I mean, this isn't a blatant use of religion to subjugate and hurt other people.

And I just don't think that there's any arguing against that. When you see this, I mean, this is clearly vitriol spelled out for you. It's spelled out in front of you. How can you look at this and then say, oh, well, you know, I mean, come on. I mean, religion's good for the world. You know, as somebody who's got, like, a kid who can read, do you know how

awkward it would be to have my kid read that sign? Yeah. I mean, like, what do you, I mean, it's just a hate-filled diatribe. Can you imagine if there was another, like, a comparable hate? Like, if you just had, like, a restaurant, and on the restaurant it just said, like, you know, hoagies, 99 cents. Also, we hate niggers and spics.

Like, some, like, just hateful, mean-spirited, fucking angry shit, like, that nobody should fucking say ever. Right, because homos is is a slant it's a slur that's what i'm saying like it's just as bad like it's just like i don't know it's just it's just angry hate-filled vitriol with no purpose but if you throw that like first corinthians like oh all of a sudden it's the winky face right it's fucking it's wink this episode is winky it is it's fucking it's a winky face and this whole episode's an emoticon i kind of want to see let me read aloud what first corinthians 6 9 is um if it has the itch i fucking hope it hasn't it doesn't or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived. Neither the

sexually immoral, the idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality. And unrighteous could also be, I think, it looks like unrighteous could also be wrongdoers. Yeah, but then it goes on. Like, it's funny because if you read 10 and 11, it says, and that is what some of you were, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by the Spirit of Christ. He's basically saying, like, yeah, you were a bunch of dicks, but then Jesus came, and that's kind of the whole point. Right? Yeah.

But then he just, like, skips that spot. Yeah. And then there's also different versions where they use effeminate as part of it, too. We've read this one before, as I recall. We have. We've come across this nonsense before. And effeminate was part of one. And then another one wasn't.

So if you're effeminate, then... Then that's it. Then you get the itch. You're going to get the itch. You're going to get the itch. The itch. You're going to get the fucking itch in your strawberry patch. The itch.

What the fuck? I love the, I love that you just. Get some fucking gold bond for Christ's sake. In hell, there is no Benadryl. Fuck. Sorry, I'll be drooling out the side of my mouth from my stroke. Yeah, like you've gone mad, right? You've got fucking green shit oozing out your cock.

You've got fucking syphilis. And then all of a sudden you're like, a mosquito bite. Your cancer has HIV at that point. My tumors have tumors. I hope I don't get a mosquito bite. It would be really uncomfortable if this bed had bed bugs. Right. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole?

It's Cheetah. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Pat Robertson, possibly gay teenager, will be straight if he has a man in his life. I haven't listened to this one yet. Do you want to listen to it? Oh, let's listen to it together. It's going to be amazing. It's from Christy Pat who says, Recently my stepson told us that he's having crushes on boys. He's 13 and lives with his mother most of the time. How do we approach the situation?

What are the next steps we should take? We have two other boys, ages three and one. What's your suggestion? I know a lot of people disagree with this. They think that they're born that way. But I think a nurturer has a lot to do with it. I's being raised by a mother, so his attraction is now toward other men because he's raised by a woman. I think before I did anything else, I would get him male companions. I'd get him some man to help him, some mentor or someone who cares about young men. Isn't that the point? Does she kind of want to avoid that? It's so amazing.

It's like a worst part. What's so funny is just like it clearly he's saying like what he really needs is a big strong man in his life. I'm sure the kid would love it. You know, Cecil, my son is overweight,

and I fucking rubbed him in chocolate and strawberries. I know he's not attracted to lettuce. What are you talking about? There's a little more, Tom. Fatherly, older brother type of way, and let the kid grow up with a male role model and see what happens. I think right now he's being

raised by a single woman, and that's maybe skewing his orientations. This is his stepmom writing this saying, he told us, so that's his dad that he's been... So his dad could step into that role a little more in his life. His dad should.

Yeah. Absolutely. Where did he come up with the idea that this was a single woman? Well, he, cause the way it's written, the way it was written, it said that the stepmom said that this,

that this kid was having, and the, and the kid spends most of the time with his mother, is what she said. But I don't think in any point does it say that he necessarily is... You know, when you say he spends time with his mother, that doesn't mean that he's necessarily

just with a single woman. It's just saying his mother's side of the family, right? Because when you have a divorce, there's a mother's side and a father's side. At least that's what I thought when I saw them read it. Yeah, I don't know where you would necessarily intuit that piece. Like the mom could have remarried. Yeah, exactly.

And the other thing too is like, yeah, you know, there's plenty of examples. I mean, you know, clearly there's 90% probably more examples of straight guys coming out of a single parent home when it's just the mom, right? I mean, that has nothing to do with it. It has nothing to do with it, right? It has nothing whatsoever. There's plenty of people, straight people that wind up with, you know, a single parent family. You know what I mean? Is it just that if a woman, if a girl is in a,

just being raised by her father, she's going to be a lesbian then? Right. You know, it's like, it's, you know, you read this or you hear this and it's, first of all, you can't help but be reminded of how fucking old and out of touch Pat Robertson is. I know. Cause this whole idea that, that the, uh, that, that homosexual men are created by, because of, you know, overbearing mothers or, you know, like single moms. This whole like Freudian fucking gobbledygook has been so thoroughly discredited and thrown away. It's been gone for generations. I mean, seriously, decades at this point. These have not been working hypotheses by reasonable people.

This is just, it is just so old. Like, it's like, I mean, his fucking pickled brain fucking cut out in fucking 1976 or whatever, and it's just over. Like, the last 40 and a half, just gone. Just done. Yeah. But, like, this is a desperation

for there to be a nurture side of the argument. Right. And I think what's particularly interesting in light of the emails that we received this last week. So on a recent show, we asked for, you know, listeners who were gay or bisexual or what have you to send us emails just letting us know like, hey, what did you first know? Because we were just kind of curious. Like it just struck us both as something we were curious about and like all of them sent us emails and we're like yeah it was when i was about five i mean it's about this i mean the emails were very

they had a fucking thread that ran through them which was very strong that it's basically like yeah it's fucking when i was little like really little like when nature it nature. It's in the nature versus nurture component of this argument. Fucking nature curb stomps the shit out of nurture. Yeah, I talked about a situation I was in last week. I remember I was talking about my first sort of realization that I was a heterosexual. And we got a ton. Like we got a bunch of emails. I would maybe say about 10 or so where people were saying, yeah, I, uh, I was when I was a kid and I remember I was watching a television show,

or I thought this person was, I, I knew, I knew this person in like grade school and I wanted to sit by them. And I was, you know, I realized that I really liked that person. And so they all recognized that they were young and, and, and that they were gay and and the thing is is like when you're talking about a 13 year old boy that shit is set that ship has sailed you know what i mean like 13 year old boy and you're in puberty at that point and that's the thing is like these people think that sexuality is malleable because he's clearly saying you've got to straighten this kid out by putting him with some you know big hearty straight dudes and you're gonna get yourself straightened right out.

And it's, that's not, that's not a thing that happens. He's just going to, you know, he's just going to transfer a crush from one place to another. It's, it's, it's the fucking, it's seriously like the worst and craziest advice. It's terrible. It's so bad. It's terrible. I, you know, when you said earlier, you're just like, well, what does Pat Robertson think? I wouldn't be surprised if one day he started talking about storks delivering babies.

Like, I would not shock me at all the way Pat Robertson talks. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story comes from the Raw story. Pastor calls to imprison gays for 10 years of hard labor with new constitutional amendment.

Man. This is great, Tom. I actually went through and got selected portions of this. I didn't take it all, but I got some of it. This is from this guy's video. It's called Preaching preachingpolitics.com. This is Pastor Michael V. Williams, and he did a little video,

so I took some of the audio from it, and you're going to hear about a minute and a half of it. This is going to be great. During the last 40 to 50 years, Christians have been increasingly tolerant of homosexuals. Now, whereas homosexuality used to be a felony in every state, referred to as sodomy, it has now been decriminalized,

and homosexuality is allowed to be openly expressed in public. And while Christians are becoming more tolerant of homosexuals, homosexuals are becoming increasingly intolerant of us. Wait, wait, hold on. So have you heard about those people getting Christ-bashed? Right. Have you heard about that? Right.

I remember when that happened, never. Yeah, when they beat those people up for their religious beliefs. Yeah. Right. Or when they all got together and proposed amendments to make sure that Christians couldn't get married. Yeah. The number. Yeah. Yeah. And you couldn't be it couldn't outwardly express your Christianity in public. Yeah. Yeah. Where you couldn't you couldn't walk down the street and like hold crosses with another man or something.

That shit is great. They've agitated for laws giving them special protection available to no one else. They've pressured judges and unelected bureaucrats to rule that Christians have to submit their deeply held beliefs to homosexual preferences. What does that even mean? How do you... Wait, so you have to submit your deeply held beliefs to homosexual preferences. Yeah, you have to submit, there's actually an application process. You have to fill shit on triplicates? Yeah, so they, yeah, because it's old school, you know, it's old school.

They've got that carbon paper and you fill it out. Like, so you get, you get it, you get it and you fill it out. You have to, you have to submit an application for your deeply held religious belief. And then what you do, Cecil, is you mail that to homosexuality. It's opened actually in the South Pole. So it's like the North Pole Santa. The South Pole is the gays. And then they've got all these gay elves.

And the gay elves open it up. And they usually sing show tunes. Yeah. Yeah. And that they've got all these gay elves, and the gay elves open it up, and they usually sing show tunes. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how they review your application. And then they decide if your religious rights are naughty or nice, and then you either get a golden butt plug or not.

They have a giant, like, rejected or accepted stamp that they stamp the paper with. You have to send it to one big gay plaza is where it is. Hold on, there's a lot more. It's time for Christians to resume obeying God and his word and to recriminalize homosexuality. Outlaw it again. The only way to do this

and keep it beyond the reach of activist judges and unaccountable bureaucrats is to create a constitutional amendment such as this. Oh, this is going to be good. Oh, my God. Let's change the Constitution. So here we go. Here's this constitutional amendment. Proposed Amendment. One, the United States of America is a Christian nation with Judeo-Christian ethics, morals, principles, and values.

Two, the practice of homosexuality in the United States of America and in all its territories and possessions and in all its states, counties, and cities shall be a felony punishable by 10 years in prison at hard labor. 10 years in prison at hard labor? 10 years in prison at hard labor. Is that a prison? Is that a prison? Hard labor. That's actually where you go. Yeah. Hard labor.

I think that's a gay porn. Hard labor. There's a little, there's more to this amendment. Three. This amendment shall take effect the first Sunday after ratification. Thanks dude. Write to your senators, representatives, and other officials. This amendment shall take effect the first Sunday after ratification. Thanks, dude.

Write to your senators, representatives, and other officials. Send them handwritten letters. Those get their attention a lot more than typewritten letters. We're in a fight for survival, and only one side can win. Let's make sure it's our side. So there you go. That's this amendment, Tom. If they pass that amendment, I would seriously fucking leave the country. This amendment is the

craziest, like, no one is going to pass this amendment. No, I know, but like, I mean, clearly, like, that would be like a, that would be an exodus, I think. If, you know, if you got the right people in power and all that stuff and whatnot, you know, I would

seriously fucking, I would look, I would never look back. Well, yeah, I mean, this would cease to be a meaningful, free place to live. I mean, it would just be a weird, I mean, if this amendment got passed, I mean, to pass an amendment is no small feat. Like, it's not like Congress just votes on a yay or nay and, you know,

that's it. Passing a fucking amendment to the Constitution, that is no small feat. That's a big motherfucking deal. And for something like this, this would be the only amendment that has fucking jail time. Ten years

at hard labor. We don't make anybody do hard labor. Here's the funny thing. It hard labor. I mean, nobody. Here's the funny thing. It's like, I mean, it's an amendment with a gulag. Yeah. Nobody. We don't make anybody do hard labor. You could fucking shoot the president's children in the face.

And you'd go to jail. I mean, you'd go to fucking prison. And it would be a fucking bad day. It would be all the bad days in a row. But they don't make you do hard labor unless you're caught by that fucking sheriff, whatever the hell down in Arizona. That weird sheriff who makes you stay outside? The one who makes you stay outside?

Right. The one who makes you wear pink and stay outside and dehydrate. I don't know how. He just basically tortures people. That guy's crazy as a shithouse rat. He gets some cruel and unusual punishment going on there. It's such a nice effect that it takes

effect the first Sunday after ratification. That's a little galling, but then you're like, oh, this will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be ratified, ever. Yeah. I like how it starts out, too. It's like well you know seeing that we're a christian nation and judo judo christian beliefs and ethics

like okay well time to start stoning folk what's the point of it being 10 years and then like after you get out of jail are you then reformeded? Like, you're just like, wow, I'm not gay anymore. Yeah. Because I hit a lot of rocks with a sledgehammer with all these other gay dudes. And I sang a chain gang song for a while. I fucking worked really hard, got in, like, awesome shape in this fucking all-male prison full of other dudes. in this fucking all-male prison full of other dudes. It's like Pat Robertson's

passing amendments. What's going on? Wouldn't it be awesome if Pat Robertson's advice was like, you should really send him to an all-male shirtless camp of torso models. What are you talking about?

What you really need to do is send him to camp where they sing show tunes. You know, he needs a fucking fashion design makeover. Like, what's going on here? Yeah, you need to send him away to interior design summer camp. So we want to thank our patrons, all of our patrons for donating money, but we specifically want to thank Tony, Derek, Logan, Kitty Mayhem, and Joshua.

Thank you all so much. Your hard-earned dollars are actually going to go toward funding a picnic, Tom. Yes, it is. We're going to announce that the picnic will be October the 4th, and it's going to be at a forest preserve in Naperville. We're securing the picnic space. The picnic shelter should be secure by tomorrow afternoon. When it is, I'm going to put up an Eventbrite on our website.

So probably either, I'll probably put it on a couple of them in a row. So it's going to be a zero-cost Eventbrite on our website. So probably either, I'll probably put it on a couple of them in a row. So it's going to be a zero cost Eventbrite. So you just go in, just click, and basically just have to reserve a spot because we can't go over a certain number of people. So we want to make sure that everybody gets a spot. We also want to buy enough food for everybody too to make sure that there's enough food for humans,

all the humans that show up, and there's enough to drink. So we want to make sure we get a really good count. So the only way to find out exactly where it is is to sign up for it. So you've got to sign up for it on the website. We'll set that all up. But we're both pretty excited. It's going to be October 4th, and that's a Saturday.

And we're hoping we're going to see if there's some way in which we can do some bit of charity work in the morning. We still have to contact the Chicago Food Depository about that. But we're probably going to try to do some charity work in the morning and then have a picnic in the afternoon. We got a bunch of messages last time. It looked like I guess I blurred the lines between transgendered people and drag. I think drag queens at one point. I talked about that. So I just wanted to apologize.

I didn't realize that I was doing something wrong. I'm not a gay person or trans person, so I don't, I'm not familiar with any of the lingo and I didn't realize that there was something that I did that was wrong. So I apologize for the, uh, for the misunderstanding. And, uh, I clearly am not anti-gay at all. I just, I, it was just a, I guess a mess up on my part. Uh, when we were talking about that last story last time. Yeah. I think, uh, it's pretty clear that we're your allies. We just don't know who you are, how or how to talk about you without offending people. So we're on your side. What we don't want to say who you are. We got a couple of emails. I want to, I'll, I'll address them both at the same time. The first one was

Frankie sends in a Chicago versus New York and he says he's been to a lot of cities and he mentions a bunch of places and he says you can't you cannot use Chicago as a comparison to New York. It's far more clean. He's basically saying that it's the cleanest big city he's seen in his life and he

mentions a bunch of other places. I've actually been to a couple of these places you mentioned. I've been to Paris for, I've been over to Paris a lot and I've actually been to Barcelona and, and both of those cities were really clean. Like I thought those cities were very clean. I didn't have any issue with how they were. I mean,

they looked, they looked great. New York was not great. Like great. Also, he says he didn't like Al's Italian beef. I don't either. They used, like, cinnamon or some shit in there. Yeah, I don't like that either.

It's like a weird. They got a funky spice going on in there. That's not for me. They got a weird spice going on in their beef, and I'm not a fan. And he says, too, he says, I must say that New York pizza is superior to the thing you call pizza but resembles a quiche. Dude, quiches have eggs. There's at least one healthy element to a quiche. And I would also point out that

deep dish or stuffed crust pizza or stuffed pizza is not the only pizza available in Chicago. There's very good thin crust. Yeah, I know. People automatically assume that, don't they? They say, oh, well, all you eat is that. Why? No, that's called Chicago style. It's a different style of pizza.

And we were talking about this, Tom. You and I have it maybe once a year, maybe, if that. It's not a thing that we order all the time because it's so fucking heavy. I would like a pound of mozzarella cheese, please. It's a calorie bomb. And actually, it's funny because during the whole Daily Show debacle about Chicago versus New York pizza, NPR, like the local NPR station, WBEZ, they did a thing. They actually did a survey to see how many people order.

Like, do people order thin crust or do they actually order the Chicago-style stuffed pizza? And it's overwhelming that people order here, thin crust pizza. Yeah. And our thin crust pizza is fucking good, man. And it's also cut into squares. So it's manageable. You don't have to fucking fold that shit over. Actually, I think, I think that, you know, like the deep dish pizza, the best pizza place,

one of the best pizza places in Chicago is Pequod's pizza. And the guy uh that runs it um was on the anthony bourdain show this years ago and he actually runs another one that's like outside on the outskirts of chicago but he also runs this p quads and p quads and he's like a fucking really eccentric weird dude and like you have to call ahead at his original restaurant like just to get a fucking pizza the next day so we could order the ingredients if you just show up they'll be like we didn't get you. You got to come back tomorrow.

We don't have the stuff for your pizza because they only order what they need for the next day. It's really strange, crazy, weird restaurant that doesn't like no restaurant runs like that, except for this one. But it's such good pizza that everybody comes back. Well, this Pequod's runs off their exact same recipe. And and yeah, the sauce goes on top of the cheese. But man, you don't even fuck it it's so good like it is just outrageously good Pequod's pizza is probably the best in Chicago um we got

invited to the Free Thought Festival uh this is from Cindy and she says just want to let you know plan out the Free Thought Festival basically it's uh up in uh Madison Wisconsin so Tom and I are looking to definitely go into that um it's we're going to try to put it on the calendar pretty soon. We'll see what happens. I may have something going on later on in that next week, so I may not be able to go, but it looks like it'll be a fun time, so we're going to try to see if we can swing that.

Sounds like going to that festival might be more possible than attending. We've run into some barriers with Skepticon, Cecil. There's like a $100 donation thing on there. The conference itself is free, but there's like a donate money. So Tom and I were like, well, we want to make sure this thing goes on. So we tried to use the website to donate the money. Well, I can't get the damn website to go to PayPal.

Like I click it and then it just keeps telling me, connection's unsecure and then it's like 404. I's unsecure, and then it's all like, 404. And I'm just like, what is happening? So it keeps on messing up there. And then, Tom, accommodations are already sold out. Yeah, we can't even stay in the hotel, like, in the conference center. And then all the hotels in the surrounding area seriously have the scariest Google reviews.

They sell, like, the skeeziest fucking hotels you could possibly imagine. It's like, seriously, the Google reviews for the surrounding hotels are basically like, the proprietor was wearing someone else's skin. I opened the door and there was a lion in my bed. So we're running into some difficulties with Skepticon. We'd like to go. Yeah, we'd like to go. But we'd also like to stay in the hotel so that we can have a drink with people and relax

and not have to worry about driving or trying to find a cab in Springfield, Missouri. I can't believe it's already sold out. I mean, it's like two months in advance. I know. We're going to see. We're hoping we can. We're going to see. We're hoping we can... We're going to probably try to find a hotel down the road. And then I'm going to see if I can actually get a ticket and send them some money.

So we'll see how that works out. Dude, I'm going to pack a tent just in case. I hope that we can stay there. So we'll see. We're going to try to work it out this week. We got some Android app feedback. This is Justin. He found us through David Sm smalley uh who does the

dogma debate podcast which is a great podcast you should check it out if you if you haven't heard it um justin basically uh compliments us a lot but then he also says by the way i just want you to know um i want to be able to listen faster like listen to you guys faster so basically bump up the speed but the problem is that the app doesn't have that ability. We don't code the app, Justin. It's a free app that's developed by Libsyn and then Libsyn sends it out. So what I can do is I can send Libsyn a note to say that that would be functionality that we'd like but that doesn't necessarily mean that that will happen

but we do thank you for the feedback and I think that any good player these days should have that. Yeah, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll learn to code. Yeah, no. I hear you do that on a computer, though. No, you won't.

You won't. No. We got another email about New York. There's a bunch of points here. I'm going to go through them. This is from Hound and Tenor, and he says, Who the fuck sent you to New York in August? My wife's work sent me to New York.

So that's who sent us there. So, yeah. And he basically says that it stinks in August and nobody me to work there. So that's who sent us there. So yeah. And he basically says that it stinks in August and nobody wants to be there. He also says that the financial district is a horrible place to stay. The only place where it's in that is Midtown. So those are the two places that I stayed.

So great. Yeah. I didn't go to this pizza place, although if I go back, I will go to this John's Pizzeria. I will go there for sure. This is on, it's in Midtown, I think, isn't it? I mean, 260 West 44th Street, New York.

I mean, I think that's Midtown. I don't know. I mean, I don't know addresses well enough, but that looks like it's in Midtown. It doesn't look like a pizza place. It looks like a pretty upscale pizza place. There's an image someone sent. It's awesome. It's a giant McDonald's sign, and the sign should say Beefy Cheesy Glory,

and it's got a big giant burger or quarter pounder or something sitting next to it. But instead, somebody spray-painted hole next to glory, so it says Beefy Cheesy Glory Hole, which sounds absolutely disgusting. Oh, God. I wouldn't eat more than two or three dozen of them it's like the glory hole it's like it's like covered in powdered sugar right it's like a whole box i'll get a box of glory holes to go oh my god and a large coffee um so uh so thank you for sending it we'll use it as an image this time on this episode, episode 174. We got a message about us sort of talking about suicide bombing, Tom.

We did. Let me read a piece of this. This is actually a comment on the page from episode 165, and it says, I was catching up on past episodes, so I came at this a bit late, but I can't believe you're actually considering whether there can be any circumstance where suicide bombing may be justified. Suicide bombing is not a weapon. It is a form of terrorism. It is not aimed at armies. It is aimed at citizens.

And there's a personal story. And then it says, you never have a problem making fun of other cultural differences like stoning for adultery, blaming the rape victim, etc. It seems to me like you had preconceived notions about who was right or wrong in certain conflicts where suicide bombing was used, which tainted your thinking. Let me end by reminding you that 9-11 was also a suicide bombing of sorts. Other than that, love your show. It wasn't of sorts. It was a suicide bombing.

I don't know that you could even say of sorts. So I think that stemmed from a conversation that Cecil and I had, and Cecil had posed a serious question to me about whether or not I ever thought that suicide bombing could be justified. And then we did have a reasonably serious conversation about it. And I guess I disagree with the premise in this criticism that says that suicide bombing is not aimed at armies. It is aimed at citizens.

It is aimed at armies sometimes. It is aimed at citizens more frequently, probably, although I don't have any hard numbers. There is a story I'm looking at right now from Fox News' website dated August the 10th. Afghanistan's suicide bombing targets NATO convoy. Yeah. So it's very clear that suicide bombing is a strategy that's used. Suicide bombing is not always an act of terrorism aimed at civilian targets. terrorism aimed at civilian targets, suicide bombing is sometimes at least an act of a technique, a military technique employed in situations of asymmetrical warfare against

military targets. Does that necessarily change my thoughts about whether or not suicide bombing is ever justified? Well, you know, it at least is a consideration. Suicide bombing against civilians? Never justified. Against civilians? No. Against a military target? That's a totally different conversation. And it's hard, I'd be hard pressed to say that that's any different than somebody, you know, charging a machine gun post, right? I mean, it's likely going to end up badly for you. And as I recall that segment that we were talking about this, what we really were just trying to do

is just trying to think what it would be like to be in their situation. And which is something that this show is never going to apologize for trying to think what it would be like in someone else's situation. That's just how I try to look at the world. And if that's not your cup of tea, that's not your cup of tea, but that's my cup of tea. And I do that all the fucking time. So if that bothers you and that makes you upset, sorry, you know, we're not preloaded

on every iPod. So if you don't like it, there's other things that may be more to your liking. I don't think that we went out of bounds at any point in that. I don't think at any point Tom and I considered being suicide bombers. I don't think at any point did we think that we praised suicide bombers. I think that all we did was just try to have a little bit of understanding of what the mindset of a suicide bomber is. We got an interesting message from Matt, and this is Matt from Australia. And I want to read part of this.

This was mentioned a couple weeks ago when the person said that abortion, we're so unnatural because we abort. And I just want to read the last paragraph here. He says, Kangaroos have three vaginas and two uteruses. Man, they must be fun at parties. They can keep an embryo in suspended animation

until food is more available. They can self-terminate a pregnancy, and some scientists think they may be able to terminate on gender preference. Wow, that's amazing. I don't know if any of that's true, but it's pretty cool that you wrote it down. I hope that's amazing.

I like that they have a disproportionate number of vaginas to uteruses. Yeah, right. It's like they're apocalypse rabbits. The kangaroo is an apocalypse rabbit. It is. It's a disproportionate number of

vaginas. Does it wear armor too? You know, the thing is like kangaroos are great at a party, but it's a bummer they only have one set of keys to throw in the fishbowl. They should have three. Well, that wraps it up for this week.

We'll be back next week. No midweek episode this week, but we'll be back next Monday. But we leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Thank you. Menace, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Thank you. you