Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 177: Atheistically Speaking with Thomas

Episode Date: September 15, 2014

    Come to our picnic!    

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. All right, gents. Just thought I'd let you know that if you're touching cloth, that means you need a shit. So if your higher access touching cloth, better get the fuck out of the way. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 177. And, you know, Cecil, I want to mention for this episode that we are very, very close to a totally meaningless and arbitrary milestone. We currently have 997 reviews on iTunes. And we also happen to have a special guest, which is Thomas from Thomas and the Bible and Atheistically Speaking.

And I have one question to put to you, Thomas. Have you fucking reviewed us on iTunes yet? That is a shit ton of fucking reviews, you guys. Nice job. Is this the sort of thing where you casually like just flex your fucking podcast muscle when you have the guest who has two podcasts on that don't even add up to close to that many reviews? No, this is the part where we fucking ask for reviews.

That's what we're doing. You know what you do is you outsource it. So we outsourced it to china and we've got all those i mean it's just and it's not that expensive either you could do this it's like buying likes on facebook yeah you invite me on you start this fucking intro and then like right in the intro you're already intimidating me like oh we have thomas on, by the way, our show is way better than yours. So you got me quaking, shivering in my boots here. Like, what the fuck? Well, shiver all you want, but fucking review us on iTunes.

All right. I will. I'll do it after this. Thanks, Tom. Now you just got another fucking bad review for us. Yeah, you guys are like a fucking corporation now. You don't even give a shit about customers. You're just like, I need the volume, man. That's true. You know, it's actually I was thinking about that today because, you know,

the Citizens United amendment was defeated today, which is to be expected. But, you know, I was thinking like, man, it's kind of awesome, Cecil, like we're three people. Because if corporations are people and we have a corporation, bitches, we'd be three people now.

Oh, man. I'm totally voting with the corporation. We upped our standing in the world, you know, by a full person. Yeah, you guys can officially have not just a threesome, like a gangbang, if you find another voluntary. That's an important milestone. We could have, like, Bukkake another podcast. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. That's a big milestone we could have like bukkake another podcast that's pretty awesome yeah uh that's big big uh big milestone for you guys congratulations well we haven't

fucking hit it yet because our fucking guests don't even rate us yeah well okay right after i'm done doing some mixing and editing for you guys and doing some you got any housework you need me to do as a matter of fact i do actually i i do want to say like the other day i like this week i bought a roomba and i realized like i now own a robot so it's the future and everything else is downhill from here yeah like it doesn't matter like i'm fucking 36 years old i own a robot like the rest of my life is a mean it's just the rest of my life is a mean... It's just... The rest of my life is just playing out the cards I've got.

Like, I own a fucking robot at this point. You know, 200 years from now, when robots are declared people, will you be looked at as like, oh, these fucking slave owners from the 2014 era? Only like a plantation owner? Yeah. Whipping my robots? You know, you can't judge them. It was a different time.

They didn't know. It was totally normal to have a slave robot that cleans your fucking floors for no wages. Well, let's launch into a shitty story. This comes from a raw story.

And this is just awesome. A teacher's job threatened after he compares his school, his own school, to lesbian creating concentration camp. Well, I'm a little sad that you read the title because that was actually going to be my almost my entire presentation. Just that fucking title is amazing. A lesbian creating concentration camp. Now, I don't know, guys.

I'm a little fuzzy. Fozzy. Fozzy? I'm a little waka waka waka.zzy i'm a little i was gonna say fuzzy and foggy uh i'm fuzzy foggy on my history were there a lot of lesbian like generating concentration camps like they actually they tried to churn them out was that something that happened like well you know actually i think i think it is the case that um you know a lot of people don't know it because it's not true. But, you know, I think a lot of people think it's the case that you can actually generate lesbians. It's like electricity.

Is it like a video game where if you put enough resources on something, like it generates every 30 seconds? You guys didn't go to biology class. Lesbians spontaneously generate. You guys didn't go to biology class. Lesbians spontaneously generate. You guys forgot that. Oh, yeah. That was one of the interesting findings of quantum physics. Like lesbians can just spontaneously. It's just spontaneously.

The vacuum energy, the vacuum lesbian energy. Yeah. I like, too, that for this story, they actually used like a stock photo of what I think are actual people in concentration camps. And you have to think like, I'm looking at people who are most assuredly murdered. Yeah. And they are being used in a stock fucking image to talk about a fucking nut job and a lesbian concentration. They're like, my life is a living hell.

But at least someday there will be a lesbian concentration camp. I was going to say, none of them look like lesbians to me. I know. But yeah, it's good to know that these poor people who were part of the most miserable, awful display of human assholeness in history are now this picture on this fucking ridiculous story. I bet they take solace in that somewhere if there is a heaven. So the story is pretty great because in Wake County, North Carolina High School, a biology teacher is being criticized.

He actually published an anti-public school diatribe, which I thought was particularly insane since he works for a public school. His defense of himself is that he said he was a missionary masquerading as one of the guards because he's promoting homeschooling in a homeschooling magazine. And he refers to the school at which he teaches as a concentration camp dedicated to the spiritual death of those imprisoned behind these walls. So he sounds like a perfectly reasonable guy. Yeah.

Can I read my favorite part of this? What do you mind? You can read as much as you'd like. Okay, my favorite part of this. Those dulcet tones of yours will grace our listeners' ears. Yeah, can you put on, hey, in post-production, put on some light music behind that. Light jazz?

We're going to add some light jazz right here. Yeah, some sexy something. Just some straight- up porn music. This is just between you and I. Don't edit this part out. But yeah, I need to sound sexy when I'm going to do a voiceover. So that's in my rider for my contract. So yeah, I'm expecting right now there's some like boom,

chika-chika, boom, boom, chika-chika, down. Okay. So my favorite part of this is this, this is a quote, this deliberate indoctrination encourages students to break each and every one of the 10 commandments he writes, which leads to countless numbers of our own children down the broad road to spiritual destruction. Yeah. Each and every one, like, are they, they were like melting gold idols and shit and like worshiping them. And then what about murder?

Yeah, exactly. They're killing each other. Like if there's fucking students murdering each other, I think we got a bigger problem than like their spiritual wellbeing. Like if there's actual, this school, they're, they're doing every single commandment wrong. They're like, you know, fucking each other's wives and stuff. Like as students, someone stole someone else's goat and they're like, ah, each other's wives and stuff like as students someone stole someone else's goat and they're like ah but that's i guess that's the more minor compared to some of these other things sure they're not allowed to like have any envy of the

other person's trapper keeper at all or their their graphing calculator you can't have any envy they're still confused about taking the lord's name in vain they still don't know what that means they're trying to they're trying to break that one. But they're like, I don't. Does that just mean saying like, God, damn it. Or does that mean like taking his name? Like, you know, I'm doing things in his name, but wrong. You know, like, what does it mean? We're trying to break it, but we can't.

It's pretty awesome. The idea that like these little kids, like these kids in high school, they're like, they're all adulterers, like every one of them. And like you said, like they can't, they can't envy, like they can't have. So it's like, hey, how'd you do on your math test? Fuck you, Satanist. God damn it. He can't even compare scores.

I can't know. Like, hey, are you taking the SAT? Get away from me, devil worshiper. What is with the guy? Did he like flucking like flip his switch or something? Because he clearly he got hired at a public school. He got employed. He got hired.

He's been a teacher there. Like when did this come about that he flipped his shit? I wonder. I wonder what the thing is that made him go off on this tangent. Is it like because there's bringing in Common Core or something? Was it that this was some sort of blind date type hiring? Like, like they use like,

okay, Cupid to hire this teacher. Like it just said like, oh yeah, I'm a teacher. I don't know. I like teaching kids. Oh,

he's good. Let's, let's try it. I mean, it's speed dating version. They like had like a hundred, like homeless people or something. And they like,

and they got them through. And they're just well you gotta pick one god damn fuck it they're really they're all fucking insane i will say though in his defense that he did apologize i was just looking at that and this feels really heartfelt yeah and not at all missing the fucking point he says in retrospect in retrospect it was not wise for me to use the analogy of concentration camps and the holocaust to illustrate the loss of millions of children from christian homes to the world and i thought like first of all it's never wise to talk about the holocaust like unless you're talking about another concurrent Holocaust or you're writing a paper about the actual Holocaust. Yeah.

Then you could say fucking Hitler was like, man, he was like Hitler. He was like Hitler. Hey, you know, it was like, like as bad as the Holocaust. Nazis. The actual fucking Holocaust. Yeah. But then he says, like, the part that I want to focus on is the end of it. He's talking about the loss of millions of children.

Where are these millions of children going? The loss of millions of children from Christian homes to the world. It's like all these Christian homes, like, send their kids to the school, and then the kids go to school and they come home. They're like, I don't fucking live here anymore. We would have seen this on the news, right? Well, you did. They got kidnapped by Boko Haram.

That's what happens when they send them out. Now, don't you guys feel like this is the thing I wanted to point out about this apology, quote unquote. Don't you feel like he was passive aggressively trying to still squeeze in like he was right? You know, when he says like, oh, absolutely. It was not wise for me to use the analogy of concentration camps in the Holocaust

to illustrate the loss of millions of children. Like he's trying to still build it up like he was right to do it. Like, why else would you say that? And I like the however there, like that begins that whole sentence. It says like, however,

you know, like despite this amazing apology that should totally make everything cool. Right, right. Well, I can't believe that didn't make everything cool. Right, right. Well, I can't believe that didn't fix the problem. Amazingly, this didn't work. Oh, wow.

Have we gotten to the point where the, like, I know it's maybe not yet, but it's going to be soon where there was more harm done in people referencing and comparing things to the holocaust than the actual holocaust like have we gotten it's close like years of people that you're like hitler that's like hitler you know what obama's like he's like hitler it's been years of this shit i'm sure it's not new i'm sure it's been going on since long before I, you know, was old enough to know what was going on. Right? I mean, eventually it's going to be like, Jesus, Hitler. If we could resurrect Hitler right now, he'd be like, I don't think I would have gone to all the trouble. Had I known, had I known this was, this is what was going to happen.

You know, I like too what he says about, about his own classes, right? He's talking about, cause this is a biology teacher, you know, and he talks about biology. Oh, I missed that part. Jesus, a biology teacher. Yeah, he's a high school biology teacher. And he complains that the evolution-based science classes discredit the reliability of the Bible and get rid of God as a creator. So like, yeah, like if I read this as a parent, I'd be like, this guy's got to fucking go immediately. And also I want my kid to repeat biology. Yeah. Here's the thing. It says here, he says history classes, get rid of God as sovereign King. No, I don't think they got rid of it. I think you are putting that in it.

I think that all comes from you. So Thomas, Thomas, you got a couple of podcasts. What are your podcasts? Oh, let's see. See if I can remember them all. Yeah. I have Thomas and the Bible and Atheistically Speaking. Atheistically Speaking is on Mondays and Thursdays, two episodes a week. No kidding. Double your value.

Wow. And Thomas and the Bible. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's two times zero? Oh, ouch. Oh. Yeah, yeah. This is why you fuckers have 9,997 reviews. I have like, well, I have like 300, but still.

I'm going to go rate you after this, Thomas. Don't worry. I'll rate you. So now what about Thomas and the Bible? Thomas and the Bible is still going strong. Oh, it's going strong. See, I got to the point where I was really overworked with podcasts. And, you know, I had the Patreon going for Atheistically Speaking.

And I know a lot of my listeners listen to you guys, of course. And thank you all, everyone who came over. And I love my patrons. I'm sure you guys love your patrons, too. They're the best fucking individuals in the world. And so I was getting a lot of support, but because I have two shows a week for atheistically speaking, I was just like really wanting to work on that with every free minute. So what I did was I said, okay, T and the B it's,

I wanted it to be free, but it's honestly just a question of time. If you guys want to support it here, let's see if we can get to this number. And if not, I just, I'm sorry, I don't have time. And the listeners got to that number. So I was like, all right, I'll now I will make the goddamn time. It's been great. It's once a week on the button. I don't miss any episodes anymore. There's no, you know, cause it was pretty erratic with the schedule, but how far along are you now? Oh, totally done. No, Totally done. No, no, I'm, I'm in Isaiah, which is every time you think the fucking Bible is done, just raping you in the ass with boredom, like just a giant throbbing boredom dick. I like coming on your show and I can just do this kind of humor. It's fun. Just,

just a giant bulbous blue fucking knobby like like like a 90 degree curved dick like just raping you just that boredom just like std infested fucking hepatitis just raping you so hard with boredom right when you think like okay i can finally let my asshole recover a minute it the next chapter is just as bad it's or worse every time just constant fucking anal boredom rape so that's that's what it's like so you don't feel like you're better as a person for having read the the wise words of because this is the inspired divine word of the of the great creator yeah no i i make uh you know it's been hours of reading it. So I probably have made, at some point I've made every possible joke about it. But I just said the other night, I just recorded it last night and I thought, you know what would be nice for a perfect God inspired, amazing book? If it could keep my interest for more than fucking 10 seconds,

wouldn't that be like thing one of a book? Like, okay. Number one, if I'm God, maybe I make a book that's like, can cut like a little bit better than the Twilight series. Like just, just enough better to hold, you know? And like all the fucking prophecies, isn't it a coincidence that they all deal with like the immediate future of countries that don't, we don't even, that don't exist anymore. Like, why am I reading this prophecy? This was what needed to be in your eternal book. Some, some fucking bullshit prophecy that didn't happen about a country. Like what are the odds? What do you think if it was an all knowing God, maybe there'd be

like, Oh, in the year 20, you know, 2008, the iPhone's going to come out. It's going to be quite popular or something, you know quite popular. Anything like just anything. Anything, but not exactly what you would fucking expect if it was written by terrible humans that just are no good at writing. So that's fun then. Okay, good.

It's a fun show. Listen in. Tune in. It'll be great. So people are going to find you or your podcast. Where would they go? Go to facebook.com slash Tntheb for the bible one and facebook.com slash atheistically speaking and I have corresponding websites but I just give people

one thing or follow me on twitter at tntheb at speak atheism both those tntheb I tweet just general jokes and stuff speak atheism is more atheism relatedrelated stuff. So there you go. Cool.

Well, thanks for joining us, man. Thank you for having me. So Cecil, there may be a change in our recording volume, quality. Quality for sure. Definitely a change in quality for sure. I'm not sure there's a change in quality. Yeah. Because when you start really, really low.

And we did start this episode pretty low. Yeah. We started with Thomas. Right. So you really can't get worse than that. I really can't. Oh, Thomas. We love you, Thomas.

When he shows up and the bar is basically on the ground and you have to dig to get underneath it. Yeah. But we're actually fortunate enough. Fortunate? I don't know. I kind of stopped there. Yeah, I think you stopped yourself because you realized we were not fortunate,

it turns out. So we're together. We're reunited and it feels so good. We were initially going to record this the other night. We were recording with Thomas, but we had gotten so late. It was after midnight when we stopped with Thomas, midnight central time.

And so Tom had to get up at six in the morning so we had to stop recording. So we recorded with Thomas two days ago. And now we're recording at Tom's house late at night on Saturday. Right. It's 10.15 on Saturday. And we're both feeling fresh. Great.

I was leaving something earlier heading on over here and Tom texted me. He said, I will have dinner for you. And the first thing that came through my water is, I hope he doesn't eat my dinner. Because I was like, he's going to eat my dinner. Don't worry, Zed. I had dinner for you. You don't have to have dinner.

It's just me like, I had dinner for you. No, I mean, I ate too. It was great. I'm good. Yeah, that's fine. You know, it's funny that you say that because I was actually thinking earlier this week that we've actually reached a point in our friendship where you get paid to put up with me. It's so true, isn't it?

And I don't think it's enough, but I appreciate that you do it. It isn't enough. It isn't enough. But we're going to be recording the rest of the show, including the email portion. All of this is going to be face-to-face.

It's going to be really bad. It's live for us. It's going to be bad for you guys. And Cecil's on his two beers and two double shots into this game. Yeah. He's only been at my house an hour and a half. Like, yeah. It's going to be awesome.

He's basically going to pee in a corner. What I'm going to do is, at one point, I'm just going to start screaming swear words like pig fuck. And then I'm just going to like fall down. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole.

Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. So this story comes from the raw story. I don't know if it's the first story. It's the second one. Second story. the raw story. I don't know if it's the first story.

It's the second one. Pennsylvania teen charged under obscure 1972 law for simulated sex acts with Jesus statue. So Pennsylvania teen basically was like mouth fucking a Jesus statue. Did you see the picture of it? I did. It's awesome actually.

It's so funny. I saw that picture and the first thing I thought is like, Jesus is a champ. His mascara's not running or anything. You know? He is making the gulp, gulp, gulp sound. Oh, man. You know, you put a fucking statue up like that.

You deserve every fucking moment. I mean, it looks like he's ready to receive. I mean, you might as well draw, like, to put a statue up of Jesus grabbing his ankles. You know what I mean? Like, it's fucking just like that. It automatically looks like there's going to be a cock in his mouth. It's exactly. I mean, he's like, he's on his knees.

Oh, my God. I mean, he's open to receive. The only thing, the only thing that's incomplete about that statue is there's not a wall right in front of his mouth and a hole in front of it. That would be hilarious to put one in front of it. That would be great to take a piece of, oh, where, how far are we from Pennsylvania? I don't know.

Pretty far, 10 hours. I don't, I kind of don't even care. Like, I'll call in sick to work. You know, maybe we could tag in another podcaster who's near there. That would be amazing. Yeah. Cut a piece of plywood.

Cut a piece of plywood and put a hole in it. That would be fucking genius, man. The only problem, man, is they will be charged with an obscure 1972 law. I don't know that they would, though, because he's simulating a sex act, right? So that's the charge, isn't it? Right, but no, their point is that he's desecrating a venerated statue. Oh, he would get somebody arrested? That would suck.

I wouldn't want to do that. I wouldn't want to do that. But if somebody did it of their own volition. And sent us a picture of it. I'm not saying I would respond with a shirt, but I might be like, here's a shirt. I'm just going to send this message out to the Pennsylvania Amish if you want to do this. The Amish! Because the Amish, they're huge fans.

They love you. The Amish and I get along so well. They're big fans. Yeah, they're big patrons of mine. And I'm big patrons of them. They send them a rocking chair every week. A handmade rocking chair. I fucking burn it in my fire pit.

Fuck you, Amish. I just burn the fucking thing. I would donate on Patreon to the Amish right now just knowing that they can't draw the fucking funds because it's on a computer. What would be their art, though? I would donate, like, I would be like, I will pledge to you my entire fucking yearly salary. Oh, you can't get it because you're fucking stuck in the 17th century for no fucking reason?

Sorry, motherfucker. That money's mine again. I'll fucking slap you with my dick, Amish. They heard all that, and they're upset. They're upset now. Amish. They heard all that. I hate Amish. And they're upset now. They're like playing it on their wooden iPods. I hate these guys. They like take the headphones out. They got a big splinter in their ear from the headphones.

Fuck. I hate having to use wood for everything. It's terrible. Oh, man. Oak makes the worst MP3 players. Can't put any songs on there. I will say, in their defense, you can drop them and they don't break.

Yeah, as opposed to my phone. Yeah, and you can go for a run with them. They don't skip, so they're fine. So now this kid is going to go, like, he's got something. He might go to juvie. But the Freedom From Religion Foundation is taking it up. Good, good.

So he might go. So he basically, like, took pictures of himself and was like, fucking Jesus' mouth. It's fucking hilarious, though. It's awesome. You know, the thing is, you just want to say to the people and be like, you know, look, you made a statue. Somebody desecrated it, whatever. Get over it.

You know what I mean? The thing is, the statue's fine. He didn't do any damage. Can you think of. He didn't get over it. You know what I mean? The thing is, the statue's fine. He didn't do any damage. Can you think of... He didn't spray paint it. But can you think of any fucking object that you fucking revere so much that you would send someone to jail before? I mean, except for your own personal property, right?

But the thing is, he's not even... Like, if this guy did this to my taillight of my car, like, put his dick against the taillight of my car and look like he was fucking it, I wouldn't even care. As long as he didn't fucking rub one out on it, I wouldn't care, right? There's nothing on it. So it's like, you could do this to literally

everything I own, except for my wife, right? Okay, hold on. Let me make a note. We're gonna note that to edit that out, right? No, but like, you could literally do this to anything I own. And I would just be like, hey man, get your junk off my fucking plasma screen, you know? Next time I'm at your house, I'm fucking all

of your belongings. I'm just gonna like run around your house. You just take, empty my drawers and just fuck the clothes in a giant pile. Those are dirty clothes, Tom. I don't care! I'm fucking them! Those are dirty clothes, Tom. You bet they are! How you like these dirty clothes? You dirty

dirty clothes! Take that! Oh, that's awesome. That you lucky, you dirty clothes? You dirty, dirty clothes. Take that. Oh, that's awesome. That's great, man. I don't know. Do you have anything to say? No, I think we hit a low point on that. They're saying that the Ten Commandments have been taken out of the courtrooms and out of the schoolhouses,

lest we offend the atheists. Let me be very clear this country was not built for atheists nor by atheists it was built by christian people who believed in the word of god to the atheist watching this telecast if our belief in God offends you, move. So this story comes from the Raw story. Brian Fisher banned atheists from the military because genuine

Americans will die for God. That's because that song that guy wrote, that Lee Greenwood. Oh, that Lee Greenwood, yeah. Like, I gladly stand up. You ever hear fucking David Cross tear into him without that? It's the best. David Cross is the funniest comedian ever. I think he is.

I listen to him read a letter. He's making fun of that fucking Go Get Her Done guy, the cable guy. Yeah, yeah. He reads this whole letter, and it's fucking genius what he says to that guy. I mean, David Cross is fucking awesome, man. He's amazing. He's a really funny guy. And it actually makes me sad that he's more successful now and he's like on, because now

he's an actor. Yeah. And so he does less standup. Yeah. And that sucks. I'll tell you though. Because his political standup, when Bush, when Bush part two was in office. Yeah.

The David Cross bits and like the Lee Greenwood, but he's like, he like, he does this thing where he's like, and I gladly stand up next to you. And he's like, well, here's your fucking chance. Grab a gun and go, motherfucker. Exactly, right? It's amazing. Yeah. You know, somebody who's listened to the show came up to me.

He's like, you should have David Cross on your show. And I'm just like, let's do it. But like, how do you get in touch? We can't get fucking goddamn Sam Harris to even return a thing. So it's like, well, David Cross is like an actor. What's your in there? Just be like, hey, you're cool. I like your stuff, man.

Would you like to be on my show? Please be on my show. That wouldn't work. That would be like, wow, you're pathetic. Right. I mean, just like, we'll suck dick for David Cross to be on our show. Please treat me like a Jesus statue. David Cross to be on our show.

Like you're setting up. Please treat me like a Jesus statue. Yeah. So I guess what we're saying is if anybody knows either Sam Harris or David Cross on a personal basis, please send them a message and say, be on this shitty podcast. Yeah. Because we can't get him on. We could probably get Brian Fisher on. Probably.

You know, I don't know that that would be that hard, actually, because he goes, he went on like fucking a couple of shows that were... He went on Alan Combs' show. He was on Alan Combs' show. Was he? Yeah. So he goes on liberal shows. He doesn't mind. He's a fucking idiot, so he doesn't know he's doing...

He doesn't know that he's that stupid he can't defend his arguments. That's very true. I mean, he really doesn't know. Because Combs asked him one time, he's like, how did you... Like, when did you... Have you ever had gay feelings? Combs asked him. Oh, I remember this. He's like, I'm not going to answer that did you, have you ever had gay feelings? Combs asked him.

And he was like, I'm not going to answer that. I'm not going to answer it. He dodged it. But he did dodge it. He clearly doesn't know when he's fucking outclassed. So what is Fisher saying in this? Like, we should actually talk about this. I guess, yeah.

Yeah. So he says, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to leave that in. Oh, no. I'm going to leave it in the blah, blah, blahs. Let me search it for the day. I'm going to leave it in the Oh, no. I'm leaving it in the bubba buzz. I've been searching for the day. I'm leaving it in the bubba buzz. He says, this is an absolutely foundational, non-negotiable, bedrock American principle.

There is a creator with a capital C. You could look it up. And he and he alone is the source of the very rights the military exists to protect and defend. Military service should be rightly reserved for those who believe in and are willing to die for what America stands for. And what America stands for is a belief in God as a source of all of our rights. So they don't want, like, this is like a military

that's already having a hard time finding people to join the military. Sure. And, like, the atheist people, some, they're like, hey, we'd like to be in the military. It's not enough to love your country. If you don't love Jesus, like, the atheist people, some, like, hey, we'd like to be in the military. Yeah. It's not enough to love your country. If you don't love Jesus, too.

Yeah. And so, like, what does that say, too? Like, because he's specifically talking about a Christian God. Sure. So it's not just atheists that can't join. You know, it's Muslims that can't join, and it's fucking atheists, and it's fucking Buddhists and Hindus. Yeah, I mean, you name the religion. Jews?

Yeah, Wiccans. Can Jews join? Yeah, Wiccans. Are Jews allowed to? I don't know. Can Jews join? Yeah, Wiccans. Are Jews allowed? I don't know. Are Jews allowed? I don't know. Maybe.

It's kind of the same God, I thought. I don't know. Are they only allowed to serve like the first half of their service? Yeah, and then they have to leave. And then they have to leave. They have to leave. Because they didn't buy into

the second half of the book. No, they didn't buy into the second coming, bro. They're just like, first coming, actually. No sequel for you. I don't know. I think that this is,

you know, clearly what he's trying to do is subjugate us to a lesser role. Right. He's trying to say, like, you can't be real citizens of this country no matter what you do. And I think that that's, you know, clearly he has an agenda. And his agenda is to make sure that everybody sees us as second class citizens. And whether that's you can't serve in the military or you can't take office or, you know, you don't have rights when it comes to school decisions. You don't have rights when it comes to, you know, public policy decisions. You don't have rights when it comes to public adornment,

whether they're statues or whatever, you don't have rose rights. None of these rights are yours. They're only for us. They're only for people who believe in God. And I think that, you know, clearly that's his agenda, but since it's coming from him, I mean, I don't know how many people follow him, but it can't be that big a group of people who's just like, wait, atheists can't serve in the military? There's got to be a bunch of people that are just like,

this is stupid. Right, but I would imagine a bunch of people are like, let him serve and let him get shot. What do I care? Yeah, what do you care? But you know, this does tie into something that's like uniquely American, which is like, that it is supposed to be a great insult to question somebody's patriotism. Sure. And this drives at the heart of that, that, like, atheists can't be patriots. Right.

I don't give a fuck if somebody questions my patriotism because it's not something that defines me. Yeah. You know? But it's, like, it's clearly meant to insult me. But it may be that other people—you know, I'm reminded of a book. I don't know if you've read Starship Troopers by... I did, yeah. I'm reminded of that book.

There's a part of that book where they talk about you're not a citizen unless you serve. Like you're only citizens serve, and then the rest of the people are just people. They're just folks. They're just lesser. They're just lesser. And only the citizens voted.

You know what I mean? So that's how you got your voting rights was if you, if you went in the military, I think I'm remembering, I'm remembering this, right. It's been a while since I've read it, but in any case, I'm reminded of this. And, and, you know, to some, to, in some degree, I do think that, you know, it's, it's a really, it's a really big deal that people spend years of their life in the military. And they, they And they make sure that, you know, while clearly I don't feel like they're fighting for my freedom, because I don't think my freedom's been fucking in danger for the last 60 years, but at the same point, I think, you know, this is a great thing that they're, I really

do respect that people do, that people put their time, I mean, I didn't give up four years of my life. And I feel like, you know, I think that they earned some respect. Now, I certainly don't think that they've earned, you know, fucking standing ovations at, you know, concerts and all that stuff. Because there's a lot of hero worship that goes on that's a little weird. But I do respect them. And so it feels strange to me when he's trying to, you know, take that away and trying to say, well, there's no way that an atheist would be able to do that. And I do kind of feel like it's our camp. You know what I mean?

I feel – maybe I don't feel as nationalistic about the United States, but I certainly feel a little defensive as he's talking about the atheist because then he's – because he is talking about me regardless. He's talking about me. He's pointing a finger right at you, Cecil, and saying, yeah, less than. Cecil can't. It's exactly the next paragraph. It's like Cecil. And the thing is, is he's like, Cecil, you can't, not just because you're an atheist, because you're really obese and you would never make it through boot camp. You have to do six push-ups.

Whoa, six? And then you have to be this wide to go through this boss. They're just like, sorry, man. I'm sorry, the C-130 cannot transfer. It's like they're loading. They're like, we're going to have to take off two tanks and a, I don't know, one of those big helicopters. Just get them off of this thing. They come up to me and they're like, hey, we were going to have you be an airborne trooper, but we can't find a parachute that will hold two.

And we have ones that will hold tanks. It turns out our engineers have done the math, and there's actually not enough air volume on Earth to support your weight dropping down. You're actually in this weird equilibrium with the moon right now, so we just don't want to change the tides. Strangely, we've calculated your terminal velocity, and we're worried you'll shear the earth in half. Were you to strike it? Oh, man. There's not enough freeze dryers in the world to send you the MREs.

The MREs come by C-130, and I just eat the C-130. Put the whole plate in my mouth. It's like as a crunchy coating. I just take the C-130 and I'm just like, and just eat the whole plane. It's like a fucking peanut M&M to you. It's like a Klondike bar.

They go to make the MREs, they take a whole cow still alive and they just vacuum seal it. It's like looking all startled, like, Moe? It makes that sound, too. You know that, that's not the rapper, that's the cow. God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. Rick Santorum, let's call secularism a religion so it can be banned from the classroom.

There's a minute and 20 seconds of him talking. This is from Brian Fisher's show. It's Rick Santorum and Brian Fisher sharing Santorum. We have not fought in the public square for our religious values to be allowed out there, just like theirs are. And it's really interesting, Brian, I'm sure you've talked about this. The idea that if you take religion out of the public square, if you take the Bible out of the classroom, that that's neutral. Well, no, it's not neutral. It's a different worldview. You can call it, I think we should start calling secularism a religion,

because if we did, then we could ban that, too, because that's what they've done. They've hidden behind the fact that the absence of religion is not a religion of itself, which, in fact, it is, because it has certain moral values and certain teachings that look like a religious type of moral worldview. So what we have to start doing as Christians is reassert ourselves and saying, you know what? The freedom of religion is not the freedom from religion. We should be in the public square.

We should be taught in the schools. This should be an open marketplace of ideas instead of throttling one particular perspective under the name of being offensive to something. Okay, so first off, we need to reassert ourselves. Haven't they fucking, hasn't Santorum been inserting himself enough in different places? Yeah, I guess he feels powerless as a presidential candidate. I know. And senator.

Yeah. Yeah, man, boy. Ex-senator though, right? Yeah, I guess he feels powerless as a presidential candidate. I know. And senator. Yeah. Yeah, man, boy. Ex-senator, though, right? Yeah, right. But still, it's not like the man didn't rise to certain fucking heights. Yeah, I know. Well, he needs to reinsert himself somewhere. You know, I hear that if he reinserts himself vigorously enough, he can actually produce more Santorum.

He's going to have a kid? Is that it? Yeah. A frothy mix. He's going to have a kid? Is that it? Yeah. A frothy mix. It was certainly produced. He said in that, he said that there was a moral idea,

like a moral set of, a set of morals for secular people and that's not true. It's not. Now there is humanist views, right,

that you could look to and say that those might be, but clearly you don't have to follow those to be an atheist. I mean, you could be that, like a dude with, 666 in your head and chop somebody up and fucking put them in a fucking garbage bag and hide them, you know what I mean?

Like, with horns, like little super balls stuck in your face. You could do that. Murder hat. You could do that. You could be, you know, a completely amoral person and be an atheist. There's no doctrine of atheists. And that's the important part, right? Is that, is that you're misunderstanding how, how atheism works. Like atheism is often, people will often turn to humanism as a way to define

a worldview, but even humanism is not a strictly defined worldview. It's a very loosely defined worldview that's based on some basic guiding concepts. Sure. But they're loose. They're certainly very fluid. But you don't have to be a humanist. Just like you don't have to be a feminist. Right. You don't have to be an anythingist.

Like all atheist is is atheist. Yeah. Atheist doesn't mean anything else. It's not married to anything Atheist doesn't mean... It's not married to anything else. Anything else. Yeah, it's not married to anything else. And the other thing, too, that I think is really ironic is that you have a Catholic talking to somebody who is not a Catholic. I know.

And then they're just buddy-buddy. But you know what? Take us out of the picture and you guys go to war. You know what I mean? Look at what happened in other countries where it's, you know, it's Protestants versus Catholics, you know what I mean? Look at what happened in other countries where it's, you know, it's Protestants, Protestants versus Catholics. You know what I mean? Like there's some fucking serious damage

that gets done when that happens. These people are glossing it over because they're both on the fucking, you know, their own team, Jesus. Well, once, you know, the other opposition disappears and we wouldn't be opposition anymore, they would fucking go after each other's throats

because you guys don't believe in the same things. Are you suggesting that sectarian violence can lead to civil strife? Sectarian violence, I love that. It's true. Because I'm thinking of a certain sectarian violence that's taking place maybe in Iraq and Syria, perchance, right now, where the Sunnis and Shias are killing one another. I haven't heard of it. Can you explain it to me?

There's a little something going on over there. Turn on NPR at any moment of the day. You'll hear all you want to hear. Dude, just go in your fucking Google search and type in I. You don't have to finish. You don't have to finish it. Google finishes it for you.

It's like, ISIS beheaded 117 people. Could kill them all. So we're going to take a break and give you all the information you need to become a patron of the show. And we'll return in a moment to finish this fucking dog of a program. We'll put this one to sleep. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts.

If you want to contact them directly, send an email to Dissonance.Podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to Patreon.com. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage,

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Ben Carson, evolution is an absurd myth. Give me a break. Give him a break, Cecil. Why will you not give him a break? Break me off a piece of that brontosaurus bar. Holy shit, there's three clips. This is a guy who, I just want to preface it before we play one or all of these. God, they're long, too.

I don't know. This is a dude who honestly, honestly does not understand evolution at all. Well, let's see what he, what did he say? He said, he said, it's absurd. Give him a break. Well, let's see what he says when we play his clip. So we're going to play, we're going to start playing this one and we'll see where it goes.

I don't know how old the earth is because the Bible says in the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Then it doesn't say how long a time went by before he started creation week. So no one has that knowledge based on the Bible. What I do know is that I believe that God is all-powerful. He can do anything. So if he can create a man who is fully mature, he could also create an earth that was mature. So, you know,

carbon dating, all these things, you know, really don't mean anything to a God who has the ability to create anything at any point in time. And the problem with man is that they believe that they're so smart that if they can't explain how God did something, then it didn't happen, which of course means that they're God. You don't need a God if you consider yourself capable of explaining everything. All right, so firstly, I absolutely fucking agree with him. If fucking God is magic, God is magic all the time. Oh, yeah. Absolutely fucking lutely, dude. You're right. You're absolutely right.

But, you know, here's the thing. If you're talking about—the thing that he got wrong there is he said, if they can't explain how God did it, then they have to explain it some other way. I'm fucking totally willing to fucking hear you out. If you can show me your God did it some way, if you could fucking turn over a rock under the sea and says made by God, you know, fucking, you know, made on Uranus or whatever the fuck, you know, or something like that, like, like made somewhere else and show me a fucking, you know, show me some like fucking Ark of the Covenant buried in the bottom of the ocean or whatever.

And I fucking, I, you know, I'm willing to fucking hear you out. The problem is, is you're not, when you say they're showing, they're telling us how we did it, how, how it happened. They're, they're dismissing cause, cause they are telling us a different story. No, we're just telling you a way it happened. And the way we have it happen is backed up by mountains of evidence. Mountains of evidence.

So much evidence, it's fucking, it's mind boggling how much evidence there is for both evolution and the creation of the earth and how long that had taken and all that stuff. So, show me one fucking evidence. The problem is they're just like, well, my evidence is fucking the eternal word

and so that's worthless it's the bible man because I don't believe your book's magic so now what we're back to square one but you have to believe the book is magic because if you don't believe the book is magic there's simply no second part to the argument isn't there a great there's a great visualization of this and I want to say it's an XK

CD or something like that where they have this number of times ghosts are seen. Then it goes down and it says the invention of the camera and then it goes right back up with the invention of Photoshop. So it shows you a big dip in it between the invention of the camera and the invention

of Photoshop. And that's the joke. It's like a joke of showing you how many things can happen when either people there's no proof or that they can fake proof. Those are the two things. Exactly. And I feel like at this point, this is the exact same thing.

There's a lot of fucking stories in the Bible about all this shit. This guy fucking walked, just flip the fucking ocean upside down. All the fishes were on their ass and whatever. And then he walked across it and then he flooded some shit. And then he made some fucking locusts fly out of the sky. And then fucking God came down and wrote some shit and fucking tablets in front of them. Demons and pigs.

Demons and pigs. And fucking Jesus walked on water and fucking all this fucking bullshit that you want me to swallow. Show me a miracle. And a real fucking miracle, man. Not fucking like, oh, somebody got cured because they drank some Lord's water or whatever. Show me a real goddamn miracle. Yeah.

Fucking honest to goodness, you show me cancer in a fucking MRI or a fucking x-ray or something, and somebody touches them, and I take a fucking x-ray the next second and that cancer's gone. I'm fucking with you then. Show me an evidence. Grow back an amputated limb. Yeah. Just one. Just one.

A finger would do. Just one. A finger would be great. You know what? You don't have to part the ocean. Part the Mississippi River. Sure. You know, do something. Do something. Do something. Right. You've got two

competing explanations for how the world works. You've got a naturalistic explanation, and all of the evidence points to a naturalistic worldview being accurate. Like, there are things which we have not yet properly identified and done the research on, but there's nothing that appears to violate any of the laws of physics or nature. Sure.

Everything fits exactly the way that you would expect it to with a naturalistic worldview. There's not anything that we require a supernatural worldview to explain. There's not an answer. There's not a question where people are like, we need God to answer this question. Sure, sure. It simply doesn't exist. And he's saying like, well, you know, you're saying you don't know how God did it. And that's what he says.

Like, you don't know how God did it. So yeah, I don't care what you think. Well, you're, I mean, you're starting from the wrong presupposition. I never think about how God did it. I think, what's the most likely explanation, and what does the evidence point to? And like you said, like, if the

evidence pointed to, like, you know, if you, if there was a fucking earthquake, and Mount Everest sheared in half, and written inside was, Hey, everybody, I'm God. A big fucking Fonzie thumbs up. I'd be like, well, that's fucking unexpected.

Right, exactly. You got me there. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'm too busy to homeschool my children. I just don't know how anybody can homeschool. You know what?

I don't even understand why you even have children if you're going to just drop them off at the government school so they can be brainwashed to be a wicked, God-hating pervert. So this story comes from Salon.com How Christian Fundamentalist Homeschooling Damages Children The religious right touts homeschooling as a viable educational alternative. Parents and graduates tell a different story. And I actually thought this was interesting because it actually uses as its example, Vicki from the No Longer Quiverful movement. We have her on.

No Longer Quivering, yeah. No Longer Quivering, yes. Thank you. So she was formerly part of this Quiverful Christian fundamentalist track, I guess. Yeah, they basically treat the vagina like a T-shirt gun, and they just shoot babies out of it. Donk, donk, donk. treat the vagina like a t-shirt gun and they just shoot babies out of it. It's like, you get a baby and you get a baby.

Look under your seats. And there's a baby. Yeah, the quivering people are, you know, when you read this, because, you know, Vicky didn't get into a lot of this stuff with us. It was sort of glossed over. But when you read this, it really does detail some of Vicky's life. And one of the things that it says is, like, her husband would knock her up even though it ended in miscarriage or painful, like, really debilitating births. Right. So it was, and he just didn't give fucks.

He was just like, well, actually he gave fucks. Right. And then she had to take them. The fucks he clearly gave him. I mean, she really had to take them. She really had to take them. She was in a position where she couldn't teach her child the requisite things

that they need to learn. And when they put them in regular school, they immediately excelled because kids do that when you put them in a good system of learning. Not to say that fucking public school is the best system of learning. It might not be. I mean, fucking I'm sure that than no system than nothing it's better than Sesame Street that's what you get to watch right because fucking yeah you can fucking learn you know ABC one two three

I'm a punch the sky whatever that's that was that was the one I watched when I was a kid it was that was actually my mom and dad fighting but in any case in any case that you know but there's like there's a there's something that you can you can actually teach mom and dad fighting. But in any case, you know, but there's like, there's something that you can actually teach them. And there's like, she was basically saying like some of her kids were functionally illiterate. I mean, they're just like, you know, just could not. Her kid was 11 and couldn't read. Couldn't read. And I'm not judging.

I'm not judging. She's an incredibly kind woman. Yeah. But how is somebody supposed to, I mean, think of it if you said, oh, you know, what's the best way to make sure the kids are taught? Well, let's take a class and fill it with 11 kids, all different ages. Go. Yeah. Like nobody would do that.

Like we track kids by age because we want to teach. I mean, just in terms of just the sheer raw ability to track kids in a meaningful way across an educational curriculum, you do it so that all kids in your class are at the same level. Like, we don't have a fucking one-room schoolhouse anymore. Right. We fucking abandon that shit because it's like, wait a minute, how am I supposed to teach a fucking biology class, a math class, a history class to a 6-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 14-year-old? Go.

You know what I'll do? I'll just let you ride bikes. I'll tell you, that one-room classroom went out with the bedpan. You know what I mean? Like the fucking, what do they call those, the chamber pots? Right. Like that went out with that. You know what I mean?

Like suddenly people had a second bathroom and kids were all at volunteer. Because developmentally at their age, you know, the sixth graders are pretty much in the same area. Approximately. You know, and it's an approximate. But it's better than the sixth fucking graders and much in the same area, you know, approximately, and it's an approximate, but it's better than the sixth fucking graders and the fucking 14 year old. Right. You know what I mean?

Like the six year olds and the 14 year olds and the, the 20 year olds or however, because at that point my metas would be 24 and 25 trying to learn the same shit because you're not gonna, you know, and that's the other thing too, that I really think that happens is she said she was just so overwhelmed. They just wound up not doing anything. I have a feeling that a lot of homeschoolers go through the other thing, too, that I really think that happens is she said she was just so overwhelmed they just wound up not doing anything. I have a feeling that a lot of homeschoolers go through the same thing. I mean, you know, being a mom is, you know, an at-home mom is, you know, first of all, it's a choice that people make to decide. They decide to make that choice.

So clearly I don't ever feel like I need to, like, shove accolades at someone who does that, right? Like I do all the same things that a stay-at-home mom does except for I don't take feel like I need to like shove accolades at someone who does that. Right. Like I do all the same things that a stay at home mom does, except for I don't take care of a child. Right. So I pay the bills, do the grocery shop. I just happen to do all that shit after work. Right. I just don't I just don't do it during the day. But they have an opportunity to do a few extra tasks and they also are full time child care. Right. That's what that's why they're there. Absolutely. They're there for full time child care.

care, right? That's why they're there. They're there for full-time child care. So, you know, it's a good thing for the child to have a mother who's home that can stay at home and take care of them and be the first point of contact instead of having a, you know, I mean, it's just a good way to do, and there's a lot of people who do it. But I got to say, you know, that's a lot of extra work that she has to do with a full-time childcare, let alone having to do being a teacher. You know, not only is she doing all the work of what normally takes two people after work, right? So like there's a lot of work that she's doing during the day that takes two people after

work. Now she's doing all that work during the day or he, I'm not being sexist here, pardon me. He is doing things too. He or she is doing the work and they're taking care a kid, and now they've got to be a teacher. And maybe they weren't trained as a teacher. Maybe they didn't go to college. Maybe they didn't, you know. And maybe college, you might not have to go to college to be a good teacher.

You might just be able to get by on your high school degree and a lot of fucking elbow grease. You might be able to get through those times. I know you're looking at me like you disagree, and that may be true. I don't know enough about children's education to make this call, but I'm saying maybe there's somebody out there with a high school degree

who read all these books backwards and forwards and can train their kid to learn. I'm sure there's a few. I'm not going to say it's all garbage, but I am going to say that there's probably a good portion of it where they get up in the morning and they're tired and they know they have to pay all the bills today and wash the dishes and walk the dog and do all the laundry.

And they're just like, okay, kids, just watch Sesame Street for two hours and then you can play. Yep. I hear you, man. I'm going to put a video in and it's going to be an instructional video. You get to watch Pearl Harbor today and then after that, I hear you. I'm going to put a video in and it's going to be an instructional video. You get to watch Pearl Harbor today. And then after that, we're done. And that's clearly the experience that Vicky relays. Yeah, that's clearly the experience that somebody in that situation directly relays. And the result, you know, the other result. But I want to say, can I throw this out real quick?

Admittedly, she had a 700 billion kids. Oh, it's not like I mean, it's not like doing one or two kids, which may be very different. That may be possible. So that's a thing I want to throw out there to make sure that, you know, we are being fair about that. But if you dugger yourself. Yeah. That's your own fault. I mean, you're fucked. It's your own fault.

I mean, you're literally fucked at that point. Literally many, many, many times. Many times. Some of them fruitful, some of them not. Some of them not. Clearly not. So, yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, the other thing, too, is like, what a disadvantage to those kids when they're trying to apply for school. And it's like, oh, yeah, so I'm XYZ College and I'm looking at various applications. And maybe your mom or dad or whatever did a great job educating you. But you have to fill out on your transcript. What school did you go to? No school. Mom's college. Right.

Yeah. I went to the fucking school. Mom's college. Right. Yeah. I went to the fucking high school of the house. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Who was the fucking mascot? My dog. Mr. Whiskers. Right, exactly.

Oh, Snickers was the fucking mascot. We're the raging whiskers. You know, it's just such a disadvantage. Like, you fill out a college application, and it's like, yeah, what were your after-school activities? Mow the lawn. Lawn, yeah, right. Like, I don't know, I cleaned the toilet on Thursday. I mean, like, so you don't get to, like, do any of that shit.

Sure. And you don't look as good to colleges when you're trying to apply. It's just, it's a bad fucking deal. Yeah, you don't get the school-based ones. They may be doing volunteer work or something, So that may be a possibility, right? Again, all the extra work that goes into making that possible. I know. It's a lot.

And I also got to say, I don't know that a lot of those people are looking to go to college. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, that's not a disadvantage to them because they just don't even know what advantages are out there. But I would say, like, that's the disadvantage, right? Well, yeah, sure. Like, because you're basically taking, like, the parent is deciding for the kid ahead of time. Like, you don't even get an opportunity to skip. You don't even understand what you're missing.

Sure, sure. You're all sick! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh, my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard.

Seven right-wing Christians who got their comeuppance in hilarious ways. Admittedly, Tom, this is a show that loves some good comeuppance. Comeuppance. If this show could just be the comeuppance of the show. Comeuppance dissonance, is that? Comeuppance dissonance. Is the sound weird? Yeah.

So this is different people who just were real anti-gay, mostly. Yeah, right. You know, the first one, actually, when it popped, when the story popped up, it was relatively recently. And I, or a development was relatively recent on it. And I almost tweeted it, but I chose not to. But it's actually pretty funny because, is it the first one? Which one are you thinking of? Oh, yes, yes.

So, this guy, this Jonathan Sayans guy. Oh, yes, yes. So this guy, this Jonathan Sayans guy, so he basically, his wife, like he was like this like anti-LGBT advocacy dude and he fucking, and his wife fucking left him for another woman. For another woman, yeah. Awesome. Yeah. That's awesome.

And the thing is, is like, you know, that you don't know whether that's fueling it or not. You're sort of like in this weird spot. Don't you think Michelle Bachman at some point is going to undergo the same thing? She's not going to leave her husband though. No, it's going to be her husband. Her husband's going to fucking be like, peace, I'm done. I'm going off

with this other dude. He seems a little effeminate. I don't know. He's necessarily gay, but would it surprise you? Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not a moment. There would be no shock on my face. You wouldn't even blink. You'd just be like, huh.

Yeah. Saw that one coming. There's a good one here where this guy down here at the bottom, where he's this representative Vance McAllister, and a Christian lawmaker, blah, blah, blah. And he winds up kissing a staffer who's not his wife. That's just crazy. The one above it is talking about someone caught having sex in a parking lot.

And you're just like, I mean, it's just, it's just all these people are really repressed. Right. And they're doing all these, you know, things they're doing. They're trying to put all these laws in place or be these big people who are putting these laws in place but they're also repressed. And I'm reminded of Haggerty, I think his name was? Ted Haggard. And he was the guy who was

he's in that Jesus Camp movie. Oh yeah, and he was in the Super Church. His church had four jillion members. And he had some amazingly interesting things to say in the Jesus Cat movie. When he turns to the camera at one point and he's like, we know what you did this weekend. And I'm just thinking, everybody knows what you did that weekend too, bro.

When you were like snorting cocaine off your paid sexual. Yeah, he had like male sex workers. He was like doing meth and shit with. He's like doing meth, like snorting meth off of a gigolo's ass or something like that. I don't even know what he's doing. He's doing lines off an erect cock. And he's like, this is not gay at all. This is not the gayest thing I've done today.

I mean, look, you have to lick the cocaine to make sure it's pure. You have to make sure. Look, you don't want to get cheap. I like a nice straight line to work from. Anyway, what I was going to say is, I'm reminded of this guy. Because I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, okay,

what is, when you take sex, you know, and all these things, most of these things deal with sex. Every one of these comeuppances deal with sex in some way. Sex or sexuality, right? And when you take sex and you put it on this pedestal,

don't have sex until you're married, don't, you know, make sure you're not touching anybody else. Make sure, you know, and you take any sort of sexual, and I'm going to say the word deviancy, meaning deviancy from missionary position. Right. I mean, not even just deviancy meaning... No connotation. I mean, yeah.

I'm just saying it's deviant from the only thing, like the one way in which you can have sex to produce a child and the rest of it. You know, we're talking, and I'm talking about it's deviant from the only thing, like the one way in which you can have sex to produce a child and the rest of it. You know, we're talking and I'm talking about, you know, male, female, you know, I like I want a fucker armpit or whatever it is that some weird fetish that you have, you know, some fetish. I want to call it weird, whatever, because all fetishes are weird. You know, I mean, they're just that's weird by nature. But it's whatever. It's yours, whatever.

You're going to be good. It's your kink. Get off on it. However you want to get off on it. Nobody here in this room gives a shit, you know? But there are people out there who care way too much about that sort of thing. And I feel like

they're so repressed in the bedroom that they can only like, you know, fuck with in complete darkness, and they have to like, call like, Marco, Polo, Marco, in order just to touch each other. And they're like you know both under the covers i can't even see each other you know i like to dim the lights but it's not completely black you know what i mean like i just like you know so there's this there's this feeling

of uh like complete sexual repression even when they do have sex even when they can release it's not even like a full release like they want and it just seems so sad to me that they never get a chance to experience this fun thing which is sexual sexuality and explore their own sexuality in a way that can make it so they're not as fucking uptight you know because i think that that's that release valve that's just not able to release and then they're finally just like well nobody can do it then fucking nobody can do it i can't do it if i can't you know fuck her tits then I don't want anybody else to do anything. You know what I mean? Like, there's that level of.

Yeah, I mean, they're clenching their fucking jaw so hard their fucking teeth are shooting out. It's like popcorn. Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. No, and it does come from that idea of like put like making sex more than just a thing people do sure you know it's like it's like a it's a it's a fun thing people do together it's just a biological function yeah it's it's different than two people eating a meal together but it's not that much different sure it's still sensual right because they're using those senses to you know that sort of thing there's an intimacy to it you know, that sort of thing. And there's an intimacy to it. You know, all that kind of nonsense.

But it's like, like you said, you put it up, you raise it up to this fucking elite status that the act cannot compete with. Right. The act can't compete with a platonic ideal. Right. Right. Absolutely true. It's an impossible thing. Yeah.

So, like, they create this, you know, this ideal and then they're like, ah. Now I'm frustrated. It didn't work. Yeah. And, you know. It's no soup for you i mean i mean it clearly there's a there's a level of of homophobia because i'm gay right there's a level of that that happens a lot in those in those circles and clearly there's a level of homophobia because my spouse was gay and i didn't realize it right so there's a level there. But at the same time, I think that there also is, you know,

I mean, look at all the people who get caught. Like, I'm a pastor. I'm for traditional values. And I got caught fucking my secretary. I got caught having an affair. I got caught doing these things. And, you know, now I'm so sorry, Jesus, I didn't mean to, whatever. But, you know, clearly there's a level of repression there, I think, that needs to be dealt with.

If they just had, you know, if they just suddenly just were like, you know, honey, I kind of wish you would put a strap on and fuck me in the ass. You know what I mean? Like, I just kind of want, you know, look, we'll keep it between us. But, hey, I'd just like you to lube that, you know, long black cock up. We don't need to put this on YouTube. Yeah, this long black cock. I'd like you to take it off your

ringtone and put it on your pelvis and just give me the old running start. That's what I wanted, a running start. Listen, if you could just start my lawnmower, that'd be great. That's all I'm asking. Put a gas power. But in any case, if they could just do that,

I think that there would be a lot of release. But we just covet sex too much. And I think our country, our country in general is very hyper sensitive about sexuality. I mean, you go to other countries. I've been overseas. There's titties on TV after 11. I mean, it's like fucking titty galore. Like there's shows.

Sarah and I were in Germany. I'm going to list of countries. Oh, dude. Sarah and I are in Germany. And we're watching. We're just slipping through And I stop Because I'm like Big titties

What is up And Sarah's just like Holy shit Those are huge And we just stared At this TV show Where this girl Just talks topless at people

Just like blah blah blah And she's getting callers And we're calling in And she's just having Like a gay old time With her titties out And I'm just like This is great

This is the best I don't even care What she's talking Because I fucking gay old time with her titties out. And I'm just like, this is great. This is the best. I don't even care what she's talking about because I fucking didn't understand her. I was going to say, you don't speak German. It's fucking in Klingon for me. I don't care. It makes it hotter, though, actually. I mean, but she's just fucking jamming away in German. And I'm just like, man, those are some fucking big old knockas, you know?

And we just sat and watched it for a little while and then changed the channel. Being 15 in Germany must be amazing. Oh, my gosh. You don't have to look at like that squiggly line Bumping the other one Did I kind of hear a moan? Was that a moan? At some point you're jerking off to geometry It's a triangle! Oh my god, a circle!

I would totally fuck a protractor You want answers? I think I'm entitled You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth. So this next story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. Are Catholic priests obligated to report confessions involving abuse? The Supreme Court may soon decide.

So it is a part of Catholic tradition that when you go see a priest for confession, and that's something, confession is something that I think is specific to the Catholics. I know that when I was a quasi-Methodist, there was no such thing as confession. You were a quasi-Methodist? Yeah, I showed up. Did you have a hump on your back?

You're a quasi-Methodist? Actually, I just rang the bell. That's awesome. But there was no confession. I think that's just a Catholic thing. Yeah. But they're not allowed, Cecil. The Catholics are not allowed.

If you're a priest and you hear confession from a, what is it, a penitent? Is that what they call it? I don't know. There's an article here that you're linking to that talks about it. Yeah, so I actually want to read this because it'll shed some more light than I will. It says, the sacramental seal is inviolable. Quoting canon law, the catechism states, it is a crime for a confessor in any way to betray a penitent by word or in any other matter or for any other reason. A priest, therefore, cannot break the seal to save his own life, to protect his good name,

to refute a false accusation, to save the life of another, to aid the course of justice, or to avert a public calamity. He cannot be compelled by law to disclose a person's confession or be bound by an oath he takes, e.g. as a witness in a court trial. A priest cannot reveal the contents of a confession either directly, by repeating the substance of what has been said, or indirectly by some sign, suggestion, or action. A decree from the Holy Office from 1682 mandated that confessors are forbidden, even when there would be no revelation, direct or indirect,

to make any use of the knowledge obtained in the confession that would displease the penitent or reveal his identity. What did you say? 16 what? 1682. Good Lord. Yeah, so those are the rules they're still following from 1682. And, you know, Cecil, you and I had a kind of a reasonably long discussion about this subject. And we were kind of at odds, but I think we've kind of come to agree.

Initially we were at odds. And I do think, you know, we still are a little at odds because I think that you don't want to give them any rights whatsoever. And that's okay. It's okay to not give them any rights whatsoever. I personally think that a priest should have the same rights

as, say, a mental health professional, like a psychiatrist. Like if they came in, if somebody came into your, although we both disagree with the level of rights that a psychiatrist has. We were reading, and now somebody in the audience may be able to correct us because we only found a couple of articles on this. It's actually kind of hard to find off the cuff, find articles on the client, not client privilege, but it's patient privilege, right? It's difficult to find out the levels of patient privilege that a psychiatrist has. But we were talking back and forth and I said, well, whatever rights a psychiatrist has, the priest should have the same rights because the people who use that service as a way in which to

unburden themselves, it's very much like psychiatry. So I wouldn't be worried if a priest had those same rights. And the rights include, it's okay if it's a past crime. They don't have to say anything. And I disagree with that. I personally, if any crime within the statute of limitations was made by someone, I think that a psychiatrist should be able to call the police and be like, yeah, this guy diddled a kid or raped a person or whatever it is. I think they would, I think they should be morally obligated. Right. And there was some arguments there that said that

they might be morally obligated to do it. Um, but that didn't seem like it was written down in the code. So I'm not sure exactly. That seems like a real fuzzy area that I don't know exactly where people stand and I don't know where a psychiatrist stand exactly what the tiny bit of research that we did didn't wasn't very fruitful for us because there was a lot of conflicting back and forth messages. But Tom and I came to the conclusion that we didn't think that that was right, because that'd be like, if it was a past crime, you could just walk in and on the way. And I just like, I ran somebody over my way here and I killed him and I backed up over him and I rolled over him again. And I kind of feel weird about that. Like, you know, and then the person wouldn't have any obligation to,

to, because it's a past crime. That feels weird to me. That doesn't feel right. It's not. But in any case, uh, there's one specific rule that they,

they have to follow. And that's if there is current child abuse going on, they have to report it. And we both agree that that's clearly something that makes a lot of sense to do. Right. Cause it's a minor that people ensure, you know, fucking somebody's diddling a kid and they come in. I really kind of fucked up because I'm diddling my kid. Okay, well, somebody should have to call the cops on you or whatever.

And that's where it feels like it's, that's where it feels like the priest should be at. The priest should have a moral obligation to take the information that he hears if it is going to, you know, they said to prevent a calamity. Like you could fucking, you know, the guy could be leaving right afterwards. He could be doing his last confession, so he could go fucking suicide bomb somebody, and you can't tell. According to canon law from fucking, goddamn, fucking 1682, back in the fucking

Dark Ages, you know, he's not alive. I know it's not the Dark Ages. Don't send us email. Actually, the Dark Ages ended. Let me tell you about Dark Ages, man. I won't tell you. And in any case, but in any case, the very fact is, is that I think that they should have to say something if there is eminent attack or whatever it is. But the little shit that doesn't really matter, there should be some sort of privilege there.

And I don't think that that's a big deal. But when it involves crime, it's one of those things that just feels weird that they shouldn't be. I mean, regardless of who the person is, whether it's a priest or a psychologist, that feels weird as shit. But this dude clearly doesn't have to say anything. Doesn't have to say shit. If you're a priest, you are

bound by your sacrament. And in this story, there was child abuse. Right. Yeah. And then, which is so icky. Yeah. Like it's so, the thing is like, here's,

here's what bothers me. And maybe, maybe it's because I'm, I mean, I, I actually, I know it's, it's because I'm not religious

because I don't, I have a job job, right? Like I have a job where I go to work and I like my job well enough because it pays me money. Sure. And so I'll continue going, you know enough because it pays me money. Sure. And so

I'll continue going, you know, it's an ATM machine. Sure. I do the dance and they'd spit out money and that's all that is. So it's not a definitional job, you know, and there are some jobs that are definitional. Right. So they define you as a person, they define your character. And so there is no separating you from your work. So I recognize that there's a distance there for me. So I want to put that out as kind of a forward. But I don't understand the idea that I would know that this is taking place and I would care more about losing my job or violating a code of ethics from my work, that that would be more important to me than, how do I sleep at night knowing that this person is going to walk out of the confessional

and probably go abuse a child tomorrow? How can I possibly look at myself and say, the most important thing here is that I give the penitent, the criminal, the abuser, the right to continue that abuse. I cannot make that morally okay. I can't get there from there. And you know what, I don't ever want to. I think that that is a bad position to take. And I think like you were talking, I think it would be reasonable to have a standard for privacy, which says, you know, that draws a line or draws a boundary at violent crime. Yeah. That violence against another person is not sacrosanct, whether you're a doctor or whether you're a, you know, anything. I mean, whether you're a priest or a doctor or a psychiatrist, whatever.

I know psychiatrists are doctors. Oh, my God. I ain't got anything about psychiatry. That's so bad. That's so bad. But, you know, it's if a violent crime is being committed. So, like, I don't care if somebody's like, yeah, I broke a car window and I stole a car radio. Like, okay, you know, shame, shame.

If the police catch you, fucking whatever. But it's like, yeah, I fucking raped a woman last night. Jesus. You need to be reported. Like, somebody needs to know. Yeah. More than just me. Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, somebody knows. Somebody needs to know because

you need to make sure that that person is punished. Absolutely. And they don't do it tomorrow again. Exactly. No, there's an opportunity. You know, there's somebody out there that's hurt and there's a possibility somebody else could be hurt.

Right. And that's just, I mean, that's just, you know, that's just irresponsible if we don't as a, I mean, but again, if you know something about this and this is something that you, you know, you studied or whatever and you understand the difference, let us know why that you think, if you us know why if you think differently, if you think that they should be able to not talk about crimes. I understand that maybe they won't be able to open up about

how they feel about how they murdered somebody, but I kind of don't give a fuck. You know what I mean? I kind of don't give a fuck if they don't get help for how they feel about how they murdered someone. I kind of hope that the other people get at least a bit of justice for the person that was murdered. That's where I stand. So we want to thank our current patrons.

Of course, we love our patrons, but we also want to thank all the new patrons that came on. So I'm going to read some new patrons off. We have David. David. There's not a B in there. read some new patrons off. We have David. David? There's not a B in there. David,

Tabitha, Brian, Caleb, Randall, Joe, Fred, Timothy, and Trevor. Thank you all very much for your generous donations. We appreciate it, and we're very happy to have you on. So thanks for donating the show and making it work. Absolutely. We really appreciate it. We're grateful to all of our patrons.

Okay, so we're going to do a little bit of email, but before we do, we want to play a voicemail for you because somebody asked us a question. So we're going to play the voicemail right now. I have a question. You know, I walk into customers' houses all the time and they ask me some questions and I guess it kind of made me think the reaction that people get when you tell them that you run out you have a podcast and they must be so excited about oh what let me hear what kind of podcast is it do you guys just tell them oh it's a badass motherfucking atheist podcast or do you just kind

of like squeeze it in there and not try to tell people? Let us know what it's like to do that. Thanks. How do we feel when we talk about our podcast? First off, I never bring it up. So I never, I never, ever, ever, whether I know the person, I know, I've known people for years that have no idea whether I do a podcast or not. I just never mention it.

And every time someone else around me mentions it, like my wife says anything to somebody, I'm always just like, yeah, I kind of do a podcast. And then I just leave it at that. And if people ask twice, they're like, what's your podcast about? I say it's a news podcast. I do the same thing.

I'm like, it's a news podcast. Oh, what do you guys talk about? News. Current events. I say current events. I say we do society news. I'm current events. I say we do society news. I'm like, oh, sometimes we do society news and stuff. It's just society and culture.

That's really it. I don't ever try to tell people what it's about. I never promote in person. Never in person. It's very rare. The only time I think we ever promoted in person was when we were at TAM and we didn't really promote. We just were there to talk to people about it because they knew us because we were wearing the shirt or they knew that we were

two giant hideous looking guys. Yeah, they just saw the parting of people as we lumbered by. They were just like, holy cow. It was like the scene from Jurassic Park. I was just thinking Brontosaurus. Yeah, I was just like, yeah, there you go. So yeah, clearly there are people who are shameless promoters of themselves, but Tom and I really just we don't ever tell people about it. I don't tell anybody about it. I get I get a little embarrassed when people mention it around me. I have people who do that all the time where they're just like, have you listened to his podcast? And I'll be like, please don't bring it up.

Please don't bring it up. And, you know, I think they do it just to bust my balls. But it feels like I'm like, I don't want to talk about it. So don't talk about it. Yeah, I have people sometimes, you know, who'll be like, Oh, Hey, I listened to your show. And I'm just like, wait, how'd you find out? I didn't tell you. And then I realized like, you know, there's a million ways and it's not a goddamn secret, you know? Yeah. But, uh, yeah, I feel the same way. Cause I, you know, like this, I don't want to say this is separate from my,

You know, like this, I don't want to say this is separate from my walking life, but my walking life, you know, I would not, I'm not as probably aggressive and open because these subjects don't come up. Sure, I'm not either. The subjects never come up. So that's, I'm the same way. I would not hide from these subjects. I wouldn't either. And I would have the same exact opinion that I have now. Right. It's just that all these people, like a lot of these people that this gets mentioned to,

they're like, might be religious or whatever. And you're just like, okay, well, these are questions that we would never, we would never cross these bridges. Now, I'm willing to have

the conversation with them. Sure. Don't get me wrong. They brought up the conversation. Shit, yeah, I'm fucking here. Let's do it. But at the same time, it's like, I don't,

I'm not going to push the issue. You're not walking up to somebody that you, and being like, hey, do you see what was on the Raw story yesterday? Yeah, no. There's a dude fucking a dude fucking a jesus statue i do it to my boss though on occasion i will do like so you got you see that guy who got beheaded by uh the muslims did you see i do that absolutely i do i do it to my boss but we have a different we have a different back and forth he's

a he's a he's a theology professor and i'm a you know'm not. So, so he and I go back and forth and he's a, he's a Christian Catholic. So we go back and forth all the time. Um, but it's okay with us because we have intellectual discussions like that and we can break it down into an intellectual discussion and I can bring up my points and he can bring up his and you know, that's because there's a mutual respect. Sure. Sure. Yeah. But I don't ever bring, that's not a thing I'd talk about. So we got a, we're going to finish up the story, the section here at the end with a skeptic's creed. We didn't realize this, but Wayne let us know. And Wayne is from Fort Collins, Colorado.

So I have no idea how he got in touch with Stephen Hawking. But clearly Stephen Hawking really enjoys the show. So Stephen Hawking, through Wayne, sent a Skeptic's Creed. So we'll be ending later. Oh no, it's great. It's perfectly done. Of course, Stephen Hawking's voice is absolutely pitch perfect. So we'll be finishing with Stephen Hawking

reading the Skeptic's Creed. It takes him a little longer than it takes to get through it. But that's okay. It does. You know what? It doesn't take him as long as it took me to get through his books. You're still going through them. You that's okay. It does. You know what? It doesn't take him as long as it took me to get through his books. You're still going through them, right? You're on like page three. I got the pop-up version.

There's a hole you get sucked into it. It's really crazy. You open it up and it's the whole universe. It's a big book. We got a message from Alexi. Alexi looks like he's coming to the fan appreciation picnic. The FAP, if you will. He's coming to the FAP in October. And he had a couple of questions.

He wanted to know specifically, though, he said, you know, is there any place that maybe we can set up some sort of ride share? Because he's probably going to be taking a car from Chicago and he may need, you know, meds to hook up with other people. So we set up a thread on Facebook. So you can just look for a thread. It was set up today. Today is late night on the 13th. So if you look on Facebook, you can find it then. And basically Tom just said,

hey, anybody who looking for a ride share, you can do this. And people are posting some funny shit, but clearly if you post something, just read through them. If you're looking for a ride or you want to give somebody a ride from Chicago or Chicagoland area, look through this and weed out the funny posts. Or read the funny posts, because they're funny.

Just read the funny, because everybody's leaving funny posts at this point. I think this is a great way for what we really hope to accomplish from this picnic, and what we really hope to accomplish is not for us to glad hand with you. It's for you guys to meet each other. If there is any remote possibility that this show performs any good, which I doubt.

Doubt. It's that it gives other people an opportunity to come together that are of reasonable like mind. This is a person we mentioned him on the last show, but I wanted to read the email. This is, this one is from Brian. And he says, Love you, our show. On the topic of the rapture being a real thing,

first concern of mine would be, fuck, all these newly empty homes are going to drive down the price of mine. I love that it's like real estate values. Fuck. It's like a whole block of foreclosures. You'd be fucked. Rapture Zillow.

You'd be fucked. Because they would just be giving the homes to the poor at that point. What a horrible world we'd live in. Let me tell you, the poor are not getting raptured. No, no, no. They're going to inherit the earth. Yeah. So they have to stay.

They have to stay to get the inheritance. That's right. Oh. Yeah. Or is it the meek that inherit? I love that. That's great shit. Thank you, Brian.

We got this great picture from Galen. He sent in this picture, and it is a picture of an unclean animal storm. There's weasels. There's hyrax in there. Looks like there's Moses in the corner parting them. It's great. It's really great. We're going to use it as the image for this episode, and this is episode 177. So if you want to see this image, you need to go to our website, dissonancepod.com. It'll be right there. This message is from Scully, Tom, and Scully says

that not only did we waste some time, but we may have wasted some money. Yeah, this is pretty great. So Scully breaks down their hourly wage at work and the fact that they listen to our program at work, and so that time is, of course, fucking destroyed and wasted utterly. And their husband also listens. Yeah. So it turns out that we have wasted a total of $10,404. Take that, their works. I love it.

That's awesome. More than we've made. I know. That's great shit. Alexi sends us a message. This is Alexi's second time appearing in this podcast. And Alexi says, by the way, I just wanted to mention, when talking about on choice and homosexuality, he says, preferred type of sexual activities may not be a choice, but whether to engage in sexual activities themselves may be a choice.

So the homosexual religious folk may at least have something right. People still have a choice. They can suppress their sexuality and live a miserable life, or they can, you know, be homosexual. And so I guess that's something we've never really considered, is that, you know, they can be celibate, but that just seems like a bad idea for everyone all around. Well, and they'd still be gay.

I'm no less heterosexual just because I'm not. Just because you're not performing sex right now. Exactly. It just doesn't work. I'm still a heterosexual. Those people are still homosexuals. You're a homosexual or a heterosexual even if you never have sex.

You're celibate your entire life. It's very true. We got a message from Andrew, and Andrew says, by the way, I didn't take your A Long Black Cock Challenge, but he did donate to Kiva. I wanted to mention that I made a mistake on the last episode, so the Long Black Cock Challenge, it's not $10.

Kiva's minimum donation is $25, and when you donate to Kiva, one of the things that they do is they put a suggested donation to the Kiva organization underneath after you put these things in your cart. So not only would you donate $25, but they want 20%. So sometimes it's like, you know, $25 plus $5 or $20. It's like maybe 15%. So it's $25 plus $3.50 or something. So in any case, they want a little bit of money, but it's just a suggested donation.

So you can get away with as little as $25 to Kiva. So that's the challenge. I messed up last time. $10 is not enough. $25 is the minimum. But a couple of people have already sent us messages and said, I'm doing it. I'm not going to fucking put the long black cock ringtone

on my phone. I'm going to just go ahead and donate. So please donate to Kiva. Tom and I donated $300 this week. We wound up donating almost $275 because we wanted to give some of that money to Kiva. So $275 was donated and we funded seven projects. So we're happy to see those projects go

to fruition. That's exciting. Yeah, most of them had to do with food. And Tom and I get behind food because we get under. The food is normally inside. Yeah, but this time it's actually promoting food from the outside, which is good. So we get under. The food is normally inside. But this time it's actually promoting food from the outside, which is good. So we're happy. If you want to find the Long Black Cock ringtone,

you need to go to our Patreon page, and it's listed under episode 176. So all you have to do is look for episode 176. It's open to the public. It's not blocked off to people. So anybody can look at it and download it. So we're going to close out the show with Stephen Hawking. We want to thank Thomas, though, before we go, because Thomas came on our show.

We were also on Thomas Atheistically Speaking. We talked about atheism and celebrity. I don't know how well it went. I never know until after the editing process. It felt like we kind of went around in circles a little bit because I only know how to say one thing over and over and over again. So clearly, I mean, and it was getting late, and I probably wasn't at my best in my game. But if you want to give it a shot, Thomas' show, you know, if anything,

go to Thomas' show and listen to stuff that's not us, because that's probably much better. Yeah, that's actually a really good suggestion. Thomas is a great guy, and he's had some really interesting topics and good guests on. He's a good conversationalist, too. I will say that. He is a very good conversationalist and he says some very

thoughtful things. Um, he's a really thoughtful guy and he has, I think one of the smarter atheist podcasts out there right now. I would say one of the smarter ones, uh, clearly smarter than a lot of the dick joke ones like us and way smarter than them.

And also smarter than a lot of the ones that I think try to be very intellectual. I think he is, he has captured a niche that is very, very vital. And his Thomas and the Bible is still hilarious. So you need to check that show out if you haven't checked it out. He's a great guy. He's a great guy and a funny guy, and you should check out his shows. But we want to thank him clearly for being on.

You can find his stuff, as he said earlier, facebook.com slash T and the B. And you can also find him at atheisticallyspeaking.com. He has great shows, great guy. So go ahead and check him out. We're going to leave you now, though, like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed, except for we're going to say thanks to, I think it's probably Sir Stephen Hawking at this point. Has he been knighted? He probably has.

Can he joust in that chair I want? All right, here he is. It's terrible. joust in that chair I went to? Alright, here he is. It's terrible. Creaturity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter,

mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo, quasi-alternative acute punctuating, pressurized stereogram, pyramidal,

free energy healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pencils pitch, late night infodocutainment. Leo, Pisces cancer cures, detox reflex foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this.