Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 186: Derailed

Episode Date: October 27, 2014

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording from glory hole studios in chicago this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode, we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this.

This is episode 186 of Cognitive Dissonance. Little, little, you kind of switched it up a little there. Yeah, you know, I thought I'd, you know, I've been not reading the little intro section. Oh, really? Yeah, you know, I'm kind of a big deal. After 186 efforts. Kind of winging it. I'm trusting in my ability to perform routine.

I like that you're switching it up a little. I mean, it's like asking your wife to wear a different name tag. No, really. I just want you to wear this one. Look, I'm not asking you to dye your hair. Oh, no. Oh, man. I just want you to look like someone else, I guess is all I'm saying.

Jesus Christ. Specifically here, I have her photo. Could you imagine the fucking, like, you'd be on fucking divorce court in 30 seconds. Oh, man. Yeah, I mean, I can see how that conversation would go, right? Like, I just want you to, you know, look like someone else. I get, like, a pause and another look. Like like i've wanted you to look like someone else for years like all right yeah well you got me there yeah i can't yeah i can't fault you it's like you know the thing is

i don't want to look like me yeah i know i know right have some sympathy for christ's sake i recognize nobody's winning yeah it's, how far are you willing to compromise? Now the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your

Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this story comes from the new civil rights movement. GOP congressional nominee threatens to stand against gay people with a cannon. Did you watch this fucking video? Okay, we've got to play some of this. Okay, so I'm going to set the scene.

There's a guy standing in a courtyard in some brick building. He is leaning. His right arm is leaning on a black cannon and he's giving a speech to what as near as i can tell is probably a nokia cell phone so this is this is his campaign speech you know brought to you by iMovie so here it is i want to play a little tiny bit of it and we'll talk about it as we work our way through it. Good evening, America. Lately we've heard a lot about

ISIS and Ebola and other threats to our country. And while those are very serious, I'd like to bring up something on a lighter note tonight. Something that is a threat. And that could be the worst gremlin outbreak we've seen in 30 years. This location. My name's Anthony Keller.

I'm the Republican nominee for South Carolina's sixth U.S. congressional district. I made a post recently where I brought gremlins into the mix. And I noticed something ironic about this it sounds like there's like 4,000 bats that are like circling his head doesn't it it's so funny it's like he picked a place where they're clearly doing like construction and fucking drag racing yeah it's awesome it sounds like it sounds like, I don't know, some place that is like, it sounds like every sprinkler went on at a golf course nearby. I love that he can't be bothered to like pause the video.

I know. It's going to get worse here in a second. Let me play a few more seconds. All across the nation, I have had all these bigots calling me a bigot, which I just find that ironic. I think it's really funny. It's ironic, everyone. It's ironic. that same-sex couples that want to destroy traditional marriage and our way of life, they're gremlins.

Now, I have heard that if you sprinkle water on gay people, more gay people pop out. Yeah, and that's why all the stores close around midnight, especially all the, like, you never see gay people eating after midnight. No, no, it's impossible. Because they turn into, like, other gremlins. Well, that's how they go from cute and cuddly gays to... Yeah. So they start off as bears, right?

First they're bears. You know, and then they eat after midnight, and then, you know, shit just gets real. And that's when they become the gremlin gays. Then they're literally bears. They become're bears. You know, and then they eat after midnight, and then, you know, shit just gets real. And that's when they become the gremlin bears. Then they're literally bears. They become literal bears. Just actual teddy bear. Yeah. Right.

There are these creatures that are so destructive. You can hear the train in the background. I'm in King Street, South Carolina. He's in the middle of a speech and there's a goddamn train coming by. He might as well do it. He might as well be giving this speech in one of those factory farms

where they have chickens. We're just like constantly gobbling around him or whatever. That would be the best. He's trying to give his speech. He's got a fucking GoPro and he's fucking skydiving. He's like 60 feet

underwater trying to give his speech. He turns to his... The best part is he clearly doesn't even have an assistant running the camera. Because it's like his friend or his wife or something. I think he put it up himself and just hit record and then went and stood in front of it. Yeah. I really do because if you had anybody, anybody who's ever even operated a video camera by fucking accident before, they would have, A, framed the shot a little bit better.

Yeah. But, B, they would have been like, oh, hang on a minute. Let's pause. Let the train go by. Right. And then re-record. But the guy, like, clearly he's got like, hey, I got fucking 12 minutes to do this thing. I got my fucking Nokia 3100.

We're getting this thing done. I got a train to catch. All right. I want to play a little more of this. I want to tell you why people here in this area, I hope you can still hear me, why people here in this area, in this district, feel the same way I do about the destruction of our traditional babies. In the 6th District, if you're not from here,

this is our majority-minority district. It's the black district. That's what some people call it. I've been campaigning for the past year here. 16 counties, 8,400 square miles, about the size of the state of Massachusetts. I've got another description for this district. It's a Christian district.

I would go as far as to say that there are more churches. Look at Super Highway next to him, too. Where is he recording? Like soon there's going to be like an explosion that goes off, and it's like, sorry, we were testing nuclear weapons nearby. We're sorry. Interrupt your video. Let's record in Indianapolis on the speedway on the day of the actual 500.

He's on the runway at Airware. His fucking jets are coming up behind him. Sorry about that, guys. Apologize. The only thing more distracting would be a toddler asking for candy at this point. He should go to Chuck E. Cheese and record it there. In this district, and probably per capita, and probably any other district, U.S. congressional district in the United States. The people here, black, white, Democrat, Republican, we believe in family.

We believe in traditional family. We believe in the way it's always been. I love how long it takes them to come up with that. Oh, this guy is the best. One man, one woman. The government can make up any laws it wants to. It doesn't make it right. Evil is evil. Wrong is wrong.

Here in the 6th District, I'm running against Jim Clyburn. Jim Clyburn supports same-sex marriage. I don't. Jim Clyburn supports abortion. I don't. Jim Clyburn supports abortion. I don't. And the Christians in this district, they don't support it either, which I'm kind of confused

because I've talked with a lot of you that I know have voted for Clyburn in years past. And you're solid pro-life people. You're good Christians. You're against same-sex marriage. And yet you side on that. Well well you've got another choice this year november 4th two weeks tomorrow you can vote for anthony color i will bring you change and you know change only comes with change

what the what does that even mean okay he's gonna call the gays gremlin here in a second. And another thing you can count on is no matter how many gremlins there are across this country, we here in the 6th District will stand against it. So what he did there, what that sound was, was not him tapping his own balls. That was him tapping a cannon, a old-timey fixed cannon to, I guess, try to intimidate people in some way. Like, I have never been afraid of a cannon in my life. Like, a cannon? Really?

Especially, like, a cannon in a public park i know like doesn't work be like i'll shoot you with this fucking fake cannon you're like yeah dude i'm more worried about stepping on legos yeah i'm more worried about getting hit by a train that's clearly next to you and and no tom this is not on a tripod because during this thing, I saw it move several times. So somebody is fucking filming this. Now, this goes on for many more minutes, and I'm sure he catches his train at the end. But he calls gay people gremlins,

and he threatens to shoot them with a cannon. Well, I mean, implicitly threatens to shoot them. Well, he never catches his train of thought. I mean, the guy just rambles, and he can see where he's like, he's not sure where he's at. He's just like, and I don't know why they vote for the other guy sometimes.

It's kind of weird. Says it must be male and female. It must be opposite of one another. Everything in the universe testifies against the sodomites and against the sodomite gospel and against the sodomite Bible and against the sodomite bible sister it comes from right wing watch eugene dalgadio warns gay men will soon be skipping

down to the adoption centers to pick out a little boy for themselves what a terrible fucking human being this guy is a guy who thinks that gay men skip everywhere though right i mean like really yeah. Where are you going? Just skipping my way to the adoption center. I'm going to catch the CTA train. I'm just on my way. I just skip everywhere. So this guy is a Virginia Republican supervisor who heads the group Public Advocate of the United States, and he's warning his supporters that gay people are preparing

to terrorize daycare centers, hospitals, churches, and private schools by teaching schoolchildren perverted sex acts and getting married, at which point you'll see men hand in hand skipping down to adoption centers to pick out a little boy for themselves. And never mind, like, just for one second like setting aside all the other shit that's fucking just horrifyingly wrong about conflating the pedophilia homosexuality thing fucking adoption centers are not puppy mills you can't just like it's not like they've got like the fucking little boys and girls like in cages and you show up, and it's like, oh, which one do I pick?

They're all so adorable. Oh, my God. Totes adorbs. I want that one. And you just take them out, and they bring the kid to a little play area, and the kid runs around and pees a little bit because it's so excited. You're like, oh, it's so adorable. And you roughhouse for a few minutes, and then you look up eagerly at the fucking sales assistant you're like can we take them home that's not how adoption works and when you go that's how puppy mills when you're going back like they have the women

in cages in smaller cages and they're just they're just like they're just laying there and they're mistreated babies hanging on their breasts. There's like all these babies. Oh, shit. I like this part too. He says, as the president of public advocate of the United States, I've devoted 30 years to battling the radical homosexuals in Washington. And I couldn't get this image out of my mind of like the gay hordes of radicals that

are like sieging Washington, D.C. And he like rides in like Legolas on a fucking elephant, you know, and just starts slaying him. And then one of his friends stands up behind like Gandalf and he's holding up like a pro marriage equality bill. And he's like, this shall not pass. If you read through all of this stuff, there's some crazy shit in here. One part, I want to read this part to you and just listen to how it's written because to me it sounds more like a sex novel he's talking about driving down to find like this area where he's like uh they're they're printing out gay flyers and they're gonna hand out i mean what the fuck is a gay flyer anyway it's a flyer that loves other flyers it's a flyer that enjoys being in that

but in any case it's like these uh he's talking about how uh they're printing out these flyers that have gay propaganda on them and he says as i rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped tractor trailers pulled up to the loading dock cars and vans everywhere and long-haired earring pierced men scurrying around running forklifts inserters and huge printing presses trembling with worry I went inside it was worse than I ever imagined row

after row of boxes bulging with pro homosexual petitions line the walls stacked to the ceiling like doesn't that sound like a romance novel yeah I want to point out a few specific words of choice. Inserters, huge, and bulging. I mean, you actually kind of would be hard-pressed

to write something more gay than that. Oh, my gosh. It's awesome. I think, though, if all the gay men are going to go down and skip down to the corner and get their brand-new little boy that they can pick out, I just want to hear the argument over whether or not they're going to get one that's house-trained already. That's why I like to get—when I pick a boy out of an adoption center, I like to get one that's just a little bit older, you know, like maybe two or three years

old, so it's out of diapers, you know, it's maybe a little bit verbal, but it's not like it still has enough hope for its future. It's not broken. I can crush. I want to make sure that they still have some sense of individual spirit that I can crush. Yeah. That I can crush. I want to make sure that they still have some sense of individual spirit that I can squash through my authoritarian rule.

What I wonder about these guys, I mean, when you read through this article, do they really see? I mean, what is the huge threat of, you know, clearly we've talked about this a hundred times. Like, what's the threat to heterosexual people? What's the threat to us? The people that are, you know, that have heterosexual marriages or that are in heterosexual relationships, clearly there's no threat, but these people seem to play it off. Like there's this amazing threat of what's going to happen. And he talks about a couple of things. He's like special rights, special jobs for homosexuals, special job rights. So basically, you're going to have to have homosexuals work for you, he says. Every homosexual fired or not hired becomes a potential federal civil rights lawsuit. And it's like, just the idea that people are so afraid of gay people just existing. I mean,

this is just existing. We're not talking about gay marriage here. We're just talking about somebody who just wants a job. And you're like, oh, well, if I don't hire him because he's gay, then they can take me to court. You're like, yeah, well, that's because you're a douchebag. Well, how would you know they were gay? Well, yeah. It's not like on the fucking resume

or like you meet somebody, because doesn't that presuppose that like every dude you meet is like the stereotypical fucking like will and grace style homosexual that you know like effeminate and like you know like all those like because most gay people are just they just they're just fucking regular people and they happen to do something different than what i do when they're fucking behind closed doors with their loved ones sure it. I mean, we make all these jokes as if like, it's not like a person of color where it's fucking easily identifiable by their skin color. I would have no idea somebody was gay or straight.

I'm fucking sure as hell wouldn't ask it on a job interview. Right. And if everybody that was effeminate is gay, then Michelle Bachman's husband is clearly gay. Right. You know? that was effeminate is gay, then Michelle Bachman's husband is clearly gay. Right. You know?

I mean, and everybody who's, I mean, it's just, it's such an absurd proposition that you'd be like, oh, well, we have to hire a certain amount of gay people. I just, you don't even ask that question. Could you imagine asking somebody on a job application? Goodness gracious, why would you care? What difference would it fucking possibly make? That would be like asking like ask like could you imagine being like okay so we see that you went to harvard you got a good resume uh some some good references here it looks like the president united states uh is one of your references can you just tell me

what sexual position you like best right um you know i just want to know like like when you're having anal sex uh if you do have anal sex, do you use lube? Is that something that you decide? You know what I mean? Like, what kind of weird questions are you going to ask? Like, you know, it's like being like, do you cum inside your girlfriend? Right. Like, why would you ask that?

Like, what is wrong with you? I'm going to ask you a horribly personal thing that you're obviously going to be offended by. I mean, can you imagine doing the same thing for a heterosexual? No. Like, I mean, Or even just asking somebody, are you heterosexual? Do you identify as heterosexual? Well, yeah.

Do you ever have, are you maybe a little gay? Because maybe I can count you in my quotient. Oh, yeah. Maybe like a quarter gay. Do you ever experiment in college? Great. Maybe a little bi-curious.

I'm not sure how that, it's just a fucking absurd thing to think. You can't tell if somebody is heterosexual or homosexual just by meeting them. I mean, you would have to fucking actively ask them an intrusive question you have no right to in order to gather that information. So the idea that there's going to be some kind of like crazy quota about hiring homosexuals is just patently fucking absurd. You know, and then this this canard that they're they haul out every time, like, won't somebody save the children? And it's all full of that email is like, yeah, there's going to be a homosexual classrooms act which pushes their agenda into our schools.

Your children or grandchildren will be taught homosexuality is moral, natural, and good. High school children will learn perverted sex acts as part of a safe sex education. Nobody teaches you how to fuck. I don't care. That's not what sex ed is about. It's not a how-to.

It's not like, okay, everybody, next is our fucking midterm on foreplay nobody teaches you how to fuck like sex ed is all about like how to be safe what does the fucking body do those are good things those are fucking universally good things i don't care what fucking sex act you happen to be engaging in like if my kids are engaging in any sex act, and I have a choice between them engaging in a safe sex act or an unsafe sex act, I'm totally uninterested in some fucking false third-party morality entering into that equation. I just want to make sure they don't get anybody pregnant or come home with something we need antibiotics for. Hello, Napa. Hello, Napa.

Hello, Napa. Goddamn, this fucking story is from the friendly atheist. Islamist ISIS brutally murdered 700 people after a man was caught smoking a cigarette. This is just, this story is so fucking wild and crazy it's like i you read it and you seriously all you can think is like what the fuck is going on over there i i feel like and you know this is this is one of the few times that i'm kind of i feel like the friendly atheist missed a portion of this. And so I followed the link to the other site and I was,

and I, I did find a little more information about this. And what happened was, is that the guy was smoking a cigarette and he got whipped, right? So like a dude goes out, smokes a cigarette. It's against like this sect of Muslim of Islam or whatever.

And they beat the shit out. They whipped him. They fucking, and they whipped him specifically as religious punishment. Well, his brother found out he got whipped and got pissed off and shot at some of these guys. And so while,

you know, these people got brutally murdered after a guy was caught smoking a cigarette. I think the implication is, is that they just wantonly murdered people because someone was smoking a cigarette. And that's not the case. That's not really what happened. What happened was a guy got his ass beat really, really badly, religiously motivated ass beating because he was smoking a cigarette.

And then it just all fucking fell out of fucking control. Yeah. I mean, it really did escalate quickly. Yeah, exactly. Right? Yeah. But it was very much more of a power play situation. Right.

Because, yeah, the guy smoked a cigarette. He got whipped. Like you said, the brother shot him. Then, like, all the people from the town kicked these ISIS fighters out. Right. And then the ISIS fighters basically got all their buddies. Yeah. And were like, yeah, that was a fucking bad call.

Well, I'll tell you, though, the fucking, the destruction and the fucking, the decapitations and shit they did. 700 people. Well, you read this thing at the bottom. It's like fucking, they're talking about a video shows how the militants lined up scores of captives on the road, their hands bound, then set about clumsily decapitating them one by one.

The executioners, speaking in Tunisian, Egyptian, and Saudi accents, taunted those not dead yet, swinging severed heads in front of their faces and telling them it's your turn next. That seems like a bad way to go. Like, of the ways to go, now clearly dying, not good regardless, but of the ways to go, I'd much rather spend the last few moments of my life in peace than in abject fucking terror this this

group seriously like they can't and i do kind of mean this like like they're pushing an envelope at this point that is that is so wildly barbaric there's there's nothing left i don't even know what's left in the canon at this point. This is next level crazy evil shit at this point. When you've got scores of people and you're like, let's decapitate. How long would that... I'm just thinking of the logistics. How long does that even take? If you're in that line, this could take hours.

It's 700 things that have to happen. If each one took two minutes, that's 1,400 minutes. You know, maybe divided by 10 guys, so it's still 140 minutes. You're still talking two hours of straight decapitations, no breaks. Just like, what are we doing from two to four? I've got fucking decapitations. Like breaks. Just like, what are we doing from two to four? I've got fucking decapitations. Check it out. This is like so

wildly, crazily violent. Yeah, absolutely. You're right. There's no other level that you can take it to. I mean, at this point, you're lighting humans on fire and putting them in a trebuchet and shooting them. That's so bad.

And then while they're in the air, you're shooting them with a shotgun. Yeah. You see, I mean, it wouldn't even sound crazy. No, at this point, no. You're right. It wouldn't even sound crazier. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus.

This story cracks me up. This is from KSWO ABC 7 News. Woman arrested claiming Jesus will pay a restaurant tab. This is from KSWO ABC 7 News. Woman arrested claiming Jesus will pay a restaurant tab. This is from Lawton, Oklahoma. This woman ordered a bunch of drinks and food at El Chico. So for anyone

from Lawton, Oklahoma, they ordered from El Chico. And she said that she told the managers that her husband was on the way to pay the tab. And she said when they asked her who that was, she said she was legally, this is my favorite part, she was legally married to Jesus Christ. And that Jesus Christ would swing by with the cash. They should have known that that was fake, though.

Because if she was married with Jesus Christ, she would be pregnant. Oh! No, no, Tom, it's because of all the second coming. Oh, nicely done. That's why she'd be, you know, that and her dad has a history of just impregnating things that may or may not have had sex with them. So I'm sure that it passes that on. That's a genetic thing you pass on to your children is the ability to just impregnate things, you know.

Just willy nilly. Yeah. Without the willy. Sans willy nilly, I think. Just willy-nilly. Without the willy? Yeah. Sans willy-nilly, I think is what they call it. Yeah. I love that she said she was legally married to, like, yeah, I'm legally married to Jesus. It's not like I'm married to him in fucking Meadow.

No, no, no. I'm not like a nun, right? I'm not like married to Jesus. No, I actually like fucking am legitimately married to Jesus. I don't have a marriage license. That's the piece that makes it legal. Yeah. The thing that you would need to prove it. And I also don't have the other human.

That's Jesus. So I'm only missing, out of the legally married equation, I have the following pieces. Me. None of the pieces. So, by this logic, I am married to

Sofia Vergara. Yeah, exactly. She doesn't fucking know it. I don't have any paperwork. Actually, that's even more plausible because at least she's real. Yeah, she exists. Yeah, right. I will say Jesus would be a shitty husband. He's always out with his 12 friends. You know what I mean?

Just constantly out. Drinking. Drinking. Fucking carousing. Yeah, fishing. God damn it. Fucking busy all the time. And not having sex with you.

Yeah, clearly. Be like, yeah, I'm fucking Jesus, so I don't do that stuff. You're still pregnant, though, so that's a fucking lose- with you. Yeah, clearly. Be like, yeah, I'm fucking, I'm Jesus, so I don't do that stuff. You're still pregnant, though, so that's a fucking lose-lose. I mean, the good thing is that you constantly have wine. You know what I mean? That's true. You constantly have wine. And bread and fish.

Bread and fish. So you got the Mediterranean diet down. No figs, though, it turns out. And no pigs. You sent them all off a cliff. Exactly. I was saving those pigs. Couldn't you have put the demons in a rock?

I love that part of the story. It's like, I sent the demons into the pigs and threw the pigs off a cliff. It's like, motherfucker, that's somebody's livelihood. He's such a douchebag. I mean, like, imagine like a modern day equivalent. It's like, yeah, like I own a used car dealership. Yeah, I put a fucking bunch of demons in the cars and crunched the cars. Shot them off the cliff.

Like, no, I don't have cars to sell. I threw all the fucking cars into a quarry nearby. Right. Motherfucker. I needed those. Those were my cars. Who's going to sell those to other humans? I'm going to be so hungry and I can't even get any figs.

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go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures lead a life worth living. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Brian Fisher, gay activists are like Nazis and mullahs who seek to impose secular sharia. What does that even mean? I don't know. Let's listen to this. This is only 47 seconds long.

But realize it's never enough for the homosexual lobby. That's what we have got to understand, ladies and gentlemen. It is never, ever enough for the homosexual lobby. They will not be content until you and I are completely silenced, repressed, punished, locked away, and locked up. Do not mistake me on this. They are determined, and they are relentless. So this is just secular Sharia, is what this is. This is the

homosexual lobby, the group and fearers in Coeur d'Alene, the group and fearers. The group and fearers. Hey, group and fearers. You gotta watch out for the group and fearers. In Houston are no different than the Muslim imams, the mullahs

in Iran. mullahs in Iran. Mullahs in Iran. They're no different. Well, I think that they are a little different. I mean, just a little. How are they different? They're a skosh different. Well, for, you know, Sharia, I think, requires a book to sort of base itself off of.

Yeah, that's an important piece. requires a book to sort of base itself off of. Yeah. That's, that's an important piece. Yeah. And when you look at sort of the secular world, I'm not sure where you would get that book. A bookstore. To base that off of,

well, I guess we could do it like fucking a brief history of time by Stephen Hawking. But I mean, I don't know how many people you can throw into a black hole, you know? Yeah. I don't know what that number is either. It's like Bozo buckets.

Like, you're just like throwing it in. Thing is, that's cheating because it's always going to fall into the black hole. It's like at the most gravity of all the things. This guy is just out there. You always get the new Schwinn. You get the new bike every week. Did you watch Bozo when you were a kid? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, man. I wanted to be on that show so bad. I would have fucking missed the first bucket, though. I'm so fucking uncoordinated. I didn't even get a fucking honey bun or whatever the fucking consolation prize for goofy kids is. I always felt so bad for those kids that missed the first bucket. And you'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? You'd think they would pause the tape and let them redo it.

Just be like, come on, dude. You got to at least get the first bucket. The humiliation. Because you're going to tell all your friends. I'm going to be on the Bozo show. It's going to be fucking amazing. And then all your friends tune in to watch you fail on TV. Are you kidding?

You're going to have abject failure on Channel 9. Take that. Maybe that's why Brian Fisher is still fucking angry all the time. Maybe he missed the first Bozo bucket. Maybe he was sodomized by Bozo. What he's doing, Tom, is very clear. He's pasting two things together that scare people, right? He's making Nazi references, too too but he's saying you know he's saying scary words

because the people on that are going to listen to him are already afraid of anything muslim right so all things muslim terrify them all things gay terrify them so he's just making like a reese's cup of you know fucking you know terror to give to his, you know, his fans that want to be angry about something. Yeah, that's what it is because he's clearly not making an actual point. And anybody who can like understand the very basics of language and definitions would understand that this guy's not. The whole secular Sharia thing, I mean, it's clearly an oxymoron. The whole secular Sharia thing, I mean, it's clearly an oxymoron. It's something that can't exist because you cannot have secular Sharia.

It is ridiculous. Sharia definitionally cannot be secular. It is a set of Islamic laws and codes. And even if he's making a metaphor, like, well, then the secularists want to impose their version of sharia like it does still doesn't work because there is no like you pointed out like there is no set of secular laws and codes those are just laws and codes like that's just laws at that point like it's just anything that's not a religious law then would be secular sharia this story comes from ib times islamic state militants crucify teenager in sickening punishment for apostasy and photographing terror headquarters. The part of the story that I thought was interesting and the reason that I chose to use it. OK, so let's let's get kind of the facts out of the way real quick.

So the Islamic State militants, they crucified a dude in like a three-hour fucking torture fest of this poor kid. And I guess that this kid was taking photographs of their headquarters in Syria. So he was caught taking photographs for money. They beat him up, fucking tortured him, murdered him because they're fucking horrible, degenerate people. But what I thought was interesting is that when they were finished with that, so the crime that he committed, in their eyes, was clearly what he did is he was, this was kind of a military thing.

Sure, it's like treason. Yeah. And then they hung a sign on him saying that they killed him for apostasy. And I think it's really interesting that even when the crime is clearly and very obviously motivated yeah not by a

religious uh action that they still then use that religious angle to try to justify so there there there there's an attempt there to to to sort of uh create a bulwark yeah um a foundation for their uh terror yeah i you're absolutely right, Tom. They're building their own position based on this, on the acceptance of the religion and the religious punishments. And so they're also sort of in some ways, I think, painting themselves as good guys because they're saying, we want to make sure that this country remains this way, with this very strict religious code, and apostasy is bad, and so we're doing a good thing. They're basically taking the moral high ground

when they could mention it politically. But instead, they're pulling out this card that basically allows no one to argue with them. It's like a get out of argument free card. That's what religion is over there, is that it's a privileged stance. There's no argument. I mean, if you can get killed for apostasy, if you argue with someone who is a religious authority, you could almost certainly get fucked up for blasphemy too. authority, you could almost certainly get fucked up for blasphemy, too. So you get a chance to basically do what you want because you have this ability to say, you know, I'm doing this in the name of religion and then nobody else can say anything else about it. Right. And, you know,

it's there's all this controversy swirling around right now. Right. So any time that there's kind of a criticism and Sam Harris is kind of on the leading edge of this criticism, but it's kind of all over the place. And so there's this controversy swirling around where people are making an argument that the terror and the violence that specifically that ISIS is going through is politically motivated and that the religious stuff is just kind of window dressing on the politics. And while there may be some truth that there is certainly multifacets to the reasons behind the violence and what's going on over there, it would be horrifyingly disingenuous for us to look at a situation like this and say, OK, well, here's a clear-cut scenario where somebody was engaging in espionage against your organization.

And rather than saying, hey, we won't tolerate espionage, we won't – You very clearly went out of your way to label this person an apostate. And why is this person an apostate? Because any disagreement with the Islamic State is apostasy. Any disagreement, any attempt to dig through that foundation, any attempt to undermine becomes not a crime just against this political organization, but it becomes a crime against all of Islam. And so then the murder of this person is morally and religiously justifiable. And that is what they're doing. Right. And I think I get I get very frustrated when these controversies swirl and people like, oh, well, you know, it's it's way

more complicated. It way more complicated. It is more complicated. No one's saying it's not, but I also think you have to take people for their word when they tell you this is why I did it, right? If I shot my wife and somebody came in and said, why'd you shoot your wife? And I said, well, I shot her

because she was sleeping with the neighbor. And then you came and said, no, you didn't. You shot her for the insurance money. Motherfucker, I told you why I did it already. You don't get to ascribe intentions onto me from the outside. If I tell you why I fucking did it, I at the very least need to take that into consideration. Sure. You know, I may not be telling you the whole truth, but if that's my justification, then it is entirely reasonable for me to be criticized for the justifications that I give.

Right. Right. And this is this is a perfect example of that. There's a there was somebody who commented this week on the 700 people who got killed story on on the blog. And this is also another common tactic. The 700 people got killed story on on the blog and this is also another common tactic um the 700 people got killed they basically said well you know america's killed almost a million people so what's that what is it what does it matter it's a drop in the bucket in comparison i think is what they said and that like nobody's disputing that nobody's disputing the fact and that's the thing that i think glenn greenwald gets wrong all the time is that nobody's disputing the fact, and that's the thing that I think Glenn Greenwald gets wrong all the time, is that nobody's disputing the fact that America has fucked up over there, that America's done some stupid shit and hurt a lot of people and hurt a lot of civilians and has really, you know,

basically just fucking spun that hornet's nest out of control. Okay. No, I don't think anybody's disputing that. I don't think, you know, you'll never hear me say, wow, that was a great drone strike we did today. You know, I'm never going to say that because it's a stupid thing to say. But at the same time, you can't dismiss the violence over there and just say, well, it's our fault. It's still violence that's happening. And their reasoning is not, you know, we hate America. That's why I killed all these people. It's, you know, we killed these people because It's, you know, I we killed these people

because of this, you know, because of these reasons. And so we can't just wash that away and just be like, oh, well, you know, well, we did a bunch of bad stuff over there, so we can't criticize them. No, that's not that's not true. We did do a bad bunch of bad stuff over there, but that doesn't mean that they're above criticism and that it can't be better. Yeah, that's that's such a bullshit argument man like that that whole argument like well america caused it like really no um even if we did it's still wrong like we you don't have to go back you know when when these guys were getting their fucking and 700 people were getting their fucking heads sawn off um do you think it

would be any comfort when they're waving a fucking severed head in front of that guy or this teen boy is getting crucified in a town square, fucking actually crucified in 2014? And these guys are, you know, screaming about apostasy and, you know, whipping somebody for smoking a cigarette. Would it would it change the scenario if we said, well, I mean, America's kind of at fault here? That's a silly fucking stupid thing to say. It doesn't translate into what's happening on a fucking Wednesday at three in the afternoon on the ground. You know, that may have been what sort of set the table,

but it's not what's for dinner. Do you think homosexuality is a sin? I think that it's it's it's it's it's unnatural. I think that it's it's it's detrimental and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization. Also from right wing watch Brian Fisher, the mark of the beast today is the rainbow flag. So everybody gets a rainbow flag and that's what we use for money now. I guess. Let's listen.

I'm kind of curious how his currency works. I'm interested. So let's listen. Here's Brian Fisher from his show on American Family Research Network or whatever the fuck it's called. The mark of the beast today is the rainbow flag. You think about the number of examples, and I just ticked through a list of examples here, of people who were unable, who were not allowed to engage in commerce because they would not take the mark of the beast on their hands or on their foreheads.

It would not allow the beast to dictate to them what they did with regard to the homosexual agenda, what they did or what they thought. A story today about Hands On Originals T-shirt company in Lexington, Kentucky, of all places. They have been found guilty of violating the discrimination ordinance because they would not print t-shirts that proclaimed a message that they found morally offensive. Now they got the, this gay pride group got their t-shirts printed someplace else,

but that wasn't enough for them. They came after this hands-on originals t-shirt, got the local human rights commission, whoever they are, whoever those fucking people are local human rights commission, whoever they are. Whoever those fucking people are. Human rights. Whoever those fucking douchebags are. Bag of assholes, that human rights commission.

Oh, look at us. We want to make sure everybody has rights. Fucking assholes. To find that they had broken the law. So now they're prepared to be saddled with some kind of a fine. They have been ordered that the next time a gay group walks in the front door of your business, you got to do whatever they ask you to do. So that's just slavery.

That's just slavery? Wait a minute. Hold the motherfucking phone. You got to do whatever they ask. Like, the Human Rights Commission, like, busts in with their fucking human rights Gestapo boots. Like, boom. Fucking brown-shirted Human Rights Commission.

They're like, do whatever the gays say. Or slaves. Yeah, that's right. Slaves now. Exchange goods and services for money. No. That's how you do slavery. No money.

No money anymore. I like that. You know, it is true that they are going to be giving the rainbow symbol as the mark of the beast. And our new form of currency, Tom, is going to be butt sex. So I think the women sort of, you know, they get the short end of it. They actually get the long end of the stick when it comes down to it. Nobody's winning. Yeah. They get the short end of it. They actually get the long end of the stick when it comes down to it. Nobody's winning.

Like, oh, my God. I've bought some things for some. I'll tell you what. It's going to make fucking buying some shit on Craigslist a little. Actually, maybe a little more transparent. Actually, they should merge the apps between Craigslist and Tinder. Tinder, right. So you're going to be like, I don't know that I want to buy that from that person. I'm just not really interested.

I'll tell you what, man. You'll fucking think twice before you're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to buy that fucking RC car. Fucking never mind. I'll just, I'm good. I don't want one that much at all. In fact, as it turns out, I don't want much of anything. We're just fucking, it's rice and beans, kids, because Dad's not going back out to the store.

I'm growing my own food. Sorry. I can't even afford a therapist for all this because I just, just more butt sex. Is this butt sex? It's really awkward. I don't know how to process this. You know, when you are ordered to do work against your will,

what do we call that? I mean, that's slavery. That's what Tammy Bruce called it. That's just a form of slavery. When you're compelled to do work against your will, what do we call that? I mean, that's slavery. That's what Tammy Bruce calls it. It's just a form of slavery. When you're compelled to do work against your will, that's what it is. And if you're compelled to do work against your conscience, that's tyranny. And that's what these people have been told, and they've been ordered. They've got 30 employees.

They've been ordered. They've all got to go through sensitivity training, got to go through brain-rushing re-education camp and get their minds straight. So unless they're willing to do that, they will not be allowed to engage in commerce. They've got to take the mark of the beast on their hands. They got to make the t-shirts that the gay lobby says you got to make. And they have to take the mark of the beast on their foreheads, even the way they think has to be realigned with what is politically correct.

Could you imagine just change the context of what he was saying to segregation? It's the same argument. It's the same thing. You know, I bet you, I guarantee there was somebody back then who was just like, this is the mark of the beast. If I have to serve this person, you know, if it's like fucking whites only fucking water fountain, sorry, whites only water fountain. Yeah, I mean, it's like we don't allow businesses to discriminate because

it's not in the public good like like businesses operate with business licenses like they you can't just open a business like let's not pretend that there is not a system wherein government gets involved in business like of course government gets involved in businesses. Government decides what kinds of businesses are allowable, for example. So you could not open a store that says, like, Uzis for toddlers. It just sells Uzis to toddlers, right? You can't do that. You can't open a store that says, like, the whore emporium fucking we sell sex and like outside of Las Vegas. Right. Because like prostitution, like you can't. So there are types of businesses that the government says you can and can't have.

And then the government licenses every business that it gets opened. They do inspections like there's food and safety inspections. So it's not like government doesn't already play a role in regulating commerce and in regulating what gets sold, how it gets sold, who it gets sold to. This is not any different than that. How is this different than saying, you know, like, well, I'm a fucking liquor store owner and I want to sell beer to kids. That's what I want. I want to sell beer to kids. want to sell beer to kids. That's what I want. I want to sell beer to kids. And the government has stepped in and fined me because I sold beer to kids. And now they're taking away my

fucking liquor license because, but I think I should be able to sell beer to kids. How is that different? eyes hath seen the glory hole whilst coming with the Lord, and he's rubbing out a vintage since his girth is quite engorged. He hath loosed his seat, an immaculate stream from his terrible, stiff sword. His truth is just BS. Glory, glory, glory, ho! Glory, glory, glory, ho! Glory, glory, glory, ho Glory, glory, glory, ho His truth is just BS This one also comes from the friendly atheist.

Putting the sin in synagogue! Hey-o. D.C. rabbi accused of spying on congregants via a hidden camera in the temple's showers. So somebody clearly took the movie Porky's to heart. You can't do pork and Jewish? What are you talking about? I don't know. They did kosher beefies, I guess is what you're going to call it, instead of Porky's.

It's so funny. So I guess this guy's been doing this for years. He put a camera in the... Basically, there's a shower or a ritual bath. It's a ritual bath. You know why they have to take the ritual bath? I looked this up today. No, why? Women have to take the ritual bath

after they menstruate. Really? That's the reason? Yeah. And men do it, too, to get spiritual cleansing. But women take it after they've had a child and after they've had their period. Wow. Because they're not clean and they can't go to the tent of meeting. They got to go to the tent of meeting and get fucking cleansed up.

Get cleansed up. Yeah. Wow. Yeah yeah all right so so there it is yeah they could just shower like regular people no no no no come on now that then this guy wouldn't have an opportunity to fucking peep on him and creep on him with his clock radio well you know to be fair after he was arrested um and it could be as many as 200 victims of this by the way, his lawyer did offer up this statement. He said, as you might expect, he's in a lot of pain. Yeah. So he's, you know, he's hurt and he realized that he's done wrong, except for not so much because he actually has a back ailment.

So he's got fucking back pain, probably from carrying around that fucking enormous spare tire that he's got. You don't realize it, but that's his erection tucked underneath his shirt there. It's a huge whale-like erection that he has that he walks. He's got to tend to that thing. That's why he has a clock radio. That's the other thing, too. I was like, what's more archaic, the clock radio or this religion?

You would think the clock radio would be the first sign of trouble. If I walked into a shower and there was a fucking clock radio there, I'd be like, are we timing this? It's like when you go to a hotel room and you're like, why is there a telegraph in my room? What are you doing? Tickety-tick-tock, tickety-tick-tock, this just in. Tickety-tick-tock, tickety-tick-tock. Yeah. It's kind of weird.

Didn't think that would be happening here. You'd be like, dot, dot, dash, dash, dash. Yeah, I just ordered us room service, honey. Sir, we got a message for you on the Marconi. On the Marconi. I love it. What's going on here? This guy is great, though.

He just had a little creep sensor in there. He just fucking creeped out and watch these girls undress in his sony dream machine is what they call it that's his uh his clock radio that they had in there and he's like like that's the other thing too you're like oh so there's just this weird clock radio like what are they listening to music while they bathe their menstruation off i don't know it's just like what is what is like, what is the appropriate track for like ritual menstruation bathing? I have no idea. I don't have that playlist, you know, because I'm not.

Gotta wash that man right out of my face. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! So Cecil, this is from Right Wing Watch. Pat Robertson has some advice for you when you

go traveling. You're a bit of a globe trekker. I've not left the country in a long time. I've been, you know, Canada. Doesn't really count. But you might want to take a listen to this, Cecil. I think this is some solid advice. I get all my travel advice from Pat Robertson,

so we're going to listen. This is Pat Robertson from the 700 Club. This person says, I'm planning to go on a mission trip to Kenya in December. I believe that God heals today, and I'm not consumed about the chance of contracting Ebola. I'm also a person who's willing to take practical precautions. However, some friends and family think that my decision to travel is foolish during this season, saying that I'm testing God and asking if I have a death wish. What do you think? I do not believe I'm being foolish, and I want to honor those around me, but I want to follow God's call on my life most of all. Do you think there are undue risks that we do not know about

and the dangers are higher than perceived here in America? Not in Kenya. You might get AIDS in Kenya. The people have AIDS. You've got to be careful. I mean, the towels can have AIDS. So they're diseases in Africa. You say towels could have AIDS? The towels have AIDS. Yeah, the towels have AIDS.

Listen, he says the people have AIDS. Yeah. You've got to be careful. The towels have AIDS. Did the people get the AIDS from the towels? I had no idea that that's how it was incubated. I thought it was, I always thought you could only get it through, like, dirty needles and through, like, you know, transfusions and sex. I thought those were the three main ways in which you got it.

I didn't realize that if I wash my ass with it, you know, and then dry off with a towel, I could get AIDS. I didn't realize that. Well, I mean, I hate to say this, but that's because you're fucking stupid. I mean, that's how you get AIDS in America. But in Kenya, it's different AIDS. They have super AIDS over there. Dude, they got towel AIDS. You never heard of Kenyan towel AIDS?

That's why Obama left Kenya, to avoid Kenyan towel AIDS? That's why Obama left Kenya. To avoid Kenyan towel AIDS. Fucking watch the news, motherfucker. Here's a fact on AIDS I found. It says, can I get AIDS from sharing a cup or shaking hands with someone who has HIV or AIDS? HIV is only found in body fluids, so you

cannot get HIV by shaking someone's hand or giving them a hug, or by using the same toilet or towel. Huh. So it specifically addresses the towel? This is AIDS.gov. So maybe what I think, though, is that the government wants you to get AIDS, so they're lying about the whole towel thing. What if you share a condom?

No, you can share a condom. You just have to both pay rent. That's all. That's perfectly fine. I share a condom. You just have to both pay rent. That's all. That's perfectly fine. I share a condom with my wife. Sarah and I, we both own a condom in downtown Chicago. Don't be gross, dude. I'd rinse it out.

It's a condominium. Well, what I actually use is one of those punching bag balloons because the rubber is much stronger. You know just I use it because my penis is just lost in there I mean it's just lost I I replace it whenever I fill it up yeah so it's just like I just go grab some saran wrap from the kitchen and then I just wrap that around I just just rip your dog and strip. I actually use that new press and seal. That stuff works great. Although, you don't want to press it too close to the pubes, because if you pull it off a little quick, you can get yourself a little Brazilian that way, and you don't want that.

And I will say, I've also used that method. Good methodology. Don't use the vacuum sealer. The vacuum sealer. It's like, even in a pinch. Even in a pinch. And I would also caution. A literal pinch from it.

Yes. I would also caution against substituting aluminum foil. Yeah, aluminum foil. Yeah, you'll just get Alzheimer's from that. I mean, come on. It just gives you Alzheimer's. Yeah, my penis has Alzheimer's. It totally does It forgets what it does all the time

I like the people who call it old timers That's a great name for it I know they're like oh yeah I've heard this I heard somebody at work just the other day Like yeah you know And grandpa's got old timers Old timers That's awesome

Fair enough He thinks it's called old timers. Old timers. That's awesome. Fair enough. He didn't know. He thinks it's called old timers. He got old timers. He's got old timers disease. I love it. Oh, back in my day, we didn't get the old timers. Because we didn't get old.

That's fucking great, man. Somebody thinks it's called old timers. I love it. That's fucking genius, man. That's the same kind of-timers. I love it. That's fucking genius, man. That's the same kind of people that think you can get a cold in your eye. Like, I got a cold in my eye. Well, you're fucking retarded. I got nothing.

I can't possibly converse with you in a meaningful way. We're done here. Well, those are the type of people who think you get fucking AIDS from a towel. Right, I got AIDS from a towel. I got a cold in my eye. I got Alzheimer's. My dick has Alzheimer's disease.

I don't know why. I'm a fucking wreck. I'm a fucking wreck. I'm just a wreck. I'm falling apart over here. What's going on? I put my dick in a vacuum seal this morning. It was initially very pleasurable, and then it got really painful.

Didn't like the ending of that at all. It is a quick marinade, though. I'll tell you why. No problem. Tenderizes that thing like you wouldn't believe. Man. It's great when you're going to do a sous vide on your dick. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so we want to thank all our patrons, but we specifically want to thank our newest patrons, and we have quite a few. Sin, John, David, Jonas, Horatio, Jackie, Christopher, Bill, Rachel, James, and Lee. Thank you all so much. We just got a ton of people this week who became patrons, and we want to thank each and every one of you.

Thank you all for your generous support. Yeah, absolutely. We really appreciate it. The money goes a long way toward making the show possible. We want to mention before we get into the email that we were on a couple shows recently, and we may have slipped our mind to mention them. I know we retweeted them but since our show schedule sometimes

is so bonkers and we don't do email sections, we forgot, I think, to mention both of these. We might have mentioned them beforehand, but we didn't mention them after. So I'm mentioning them now just to make sure that we do this because we were on other people's show. I feel bad. It totally slipped my mind. We were on

The Barroom Atheist, episode 38. I'm going to link to it in this episode's show notes, episode 186. We talked to Bill and Susie for a long time. We had a great conversation. You could head on over to their podcast and listen to us on there. You could also catch us on Imaginary Friends Show, episode 200

and 200.5. We're going to link to both of those episodes. They're almost an hour long a piece, I think. So if you want to catch us on there, it's a full hour worth and Jake's show is always fun and he's a funny guy. So go check out those two shows

and we apologize if we didn't mention them earlier. So we just recently got some money back on our Kiva loan. We're up to about 70 bucks or so on our Kiva loan. We're going to about 70 bucks or so on our Kiva loan. We're going to have to reinvest it soon. And we're excited to do that. We've already paid for like pastries in other countries and like all these food goods that

are in all these other countries. So we're going to have to go out of our way to find other food goods that we can help subsidize. I love the idea of subsidizing third world pastries. Oh, it's great. I think that's phenomenal. Saving the world one cronut at a time. So we got a message from,

uh, this is from, uh, Luane. Luane said, uh, just thought I'd let you know that I've begun receiving payment for my Kiva loan.

I wanted to mention how much I appreciated your long black cock challenge. I had always planned to check out Kiva, but I'd never gotten around to it. Thanks to the prodding to take my money. I would have pissed it away on hookers and blow anyway. So that's awesome. I think that's great. Thank you for, uh, for taking the long black cock challenge. I know a lot of people did, and we got a lot of messages for it. So thank everybody who went to Kiva and, uh, and donated, uh, and, and, and it's not just donated. It's, it's loan money to people who needed help. And Kiva is a great organization. So if you didn't take the Long Black Cock Challenge and you want to

go give some money to an organization that you can get paid back for and then reinvest it in other people, Kiva is a wonderful organization for that. Yeah, it really is very cool. And there's so much to look at on Kiva. You've got so many different choices as far as finding what really interests you and motivates you and kind of where your passion lies as a philanthropist. So take a look at it and really check it out. It's a really unique way to think about moving money around. We got a message from Margo, Tom. I'm just going to have you read it. So this is from Margo. I meant to message you last week that, as a gay person,

I don't care nor was offended when you said homosexual. Unfortunately, it sounds like a lose-lose for you guys as there will always be someone offended by something. I'm all about using proper terms, and homosexual is a proper term. I prefer that term but really don't give a shit if it's used or not. Thanks for trying to be considerate about it though. Glory hole. You guys rock.

I think that's awesome. It's just like yeah look it's a lose lose and that's so true. No matter what we do we will get extra messages from other people based on it. We get messages from people that are like I don't like your show and you're like I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, I never understand that.

Your show needs more different stuff. Again. I listened to your show and I gave it a bad rating. Those are my favorite. Like, I'm a listener, but I hate it. Yeah. That's so confusing. That's so weird, man.

It'd be like going to like like pizza hut like every wednesday for like two years and then just being like man i gotta talk to a manager yeah what's up you're a regular uh you know your pizza sucks sucks i've hated it from the moment i started eating this is inedible i've tried this 104 consecutive times right okay yeah i i I always find that fascinating that people, you know, it almost feels like they're just so lazy to search iTunes. Like that's what happens is like they just find a podcast that they can listen to and they think, well, I guess I can deal with it. And you just want to say, go find a new podcast. There's plenty of them out there. Tom, we got a revision on the Ten Commandments. Yeah, these are pretty funny.

Why don't you read some of these? These are pretty good. Number one, I'm your fucking God. Number two, don't you even dare to glance at another God. I love that. Number three, don't ever talk to me without you kissing my ass. Number four, remember the Sabbath day so you can go to church and you kissing my ass. Number four. Remember the Sabbath day so you can go to church and kiss my ass and give me money.

Although, one could argue that you're not actually giving him money. Right, yeah. Or in money, I guess. Number five. Honor your father and mother because they helped to indoctrinate you. Number six. You shall not murder. However, you can kill as many unbelievers as you want.

Number seven, you shall never, ever have butt sex. Number eight, you shall not steal from the rich, but take as much as you want from the poor, especially if they are brown. That's great, man. God. Number nine, you could lie as much as you want if you do it for Jesus. And number ten, you shall covet other people's stuff so that you buy more crap.

I thought that was pretty great. I think my favorite is two. My favorite is like, don't even dare glance at another God. It's like a jealous girlfriend. Oh, it's awesome, man. It's got you checking out another God's ass. Right. And you're just like, oh, shit. No, no. I'm not going to hear the end of this on the ride home

tonight. Thank you, Danny the Swede. So we got a couple of messages from Lynn, and Lynn had sent in a message about being a God parent, and then she also sent in a message about baptism. She's asking for suggestions.

She doesn't think she wants to be part of this and do this, because she's been asked by someone to be involved in the baptism and become a God mother to a child, and she doesn't know what to do. And this is something that I give advice, This is my sort of stock advice that I give. And it's never make a promise that you can't keep. And if you can't keep the promise of keeping a child, quote unquote, in the faith, then I wouldn't make that promise. I would say that you just can't make it. And the thing is, is I think that you can be gentle about it in a way that just says, I just don't feel like I can do the proper respect to your religion. And that's a gentle way to say, I don't want to, I can't do it because of my own beliefs.

You know, one thing that occurred to me is, and so I don't know much about the godparent thing from a Catholic standpoint because I didn't grow up in the Catholic faith. But, you know, my understanding, one of the things that a godparent does is, you know, if you die, the godparents then raise your kids. for you to have a sort of conversation and say, listen, you know, if you guys do die and I then am tasked with raising your kids, you know, know that I will do that and I will do that lovingly and I will be their substitute parent or guardian, you know, until they reach the age of 18 and beyond, whatever. But this is the one piece I can't do. I can do the, I can do all the other parts. I can get them off to school every day and keep them fed and keep them loved and keep them healthy and happy. And I will do those things because if, if your sister is looking for the practical, meaning, Hey, you know, when you have kids, you have to start having those, those thoughts. Like what,

what happens if I die and my spouse dies? What do we do? Who takes care of our kids? What's our contingency plan? So if she wants a contingency plan from a practical perspective, while you may not be able to be a God parent, you may be able to be a guardian. And so you might be able to soften the blow there too and say, hey, I can ease your mind. And if you want to appoint somebody else to do the God piece, I'll make sure that they go on Sundays. I just can't be that person. So I can do all the practical bits, but, you know, the nonsense I can't do. We'll need to tag team this.

We got a message from Matt, and is says he's organizing a benefit gig to support a school in uganda and uh and the thing is is that he's going to be playing music and hanging out at this place but you don't actually have to go there in order to donate so there's uh links to this to this uh to this drive that i'm going to put on this episode show notes. Uh, so you can take a look at each of the things, but good luck, Matt.

It's, it's awesome that you're trying to support a school in Uganda. It's a, it's a humanist primary school, which I think is amazing. And so he's going to be putting on, uh, you know,

a little show. And, uh, and if you want to donate, you can do it online without actually going there. Yeah. It sounds like a really great cause. So I applaud you for being a part of it. So we got a message from Justin and Justin's working on his master's thesis currently. And he asked us if we could post a survey link. And the survey link is for investigating the relationships

of atheists and agnostics and non-believers have with their friends, family and community. I took the survey earlier this week. It's confidential, so you don't have to put any of your information on it. And I want to say it was like three or four pages worth. And it's a really interesting mix of questions. So if you have some time and you want to help Justin out with his master's thesis, you're going to have to take it pretty soon, though. And you can find it on the episode show notes, episode 186. So we want to make sure that we mention next time, our next show, we're going to have David on for My Book of Mormon, and hopefully we can find a Mormon story between now and then.

If not, we're just going to have him talk about something else with us for a little while, and we're going to talk to him about his podcast. If you haven't checked out My Book of Mormon, now's your chance before he comes on our show, but we're also going to be posting a link to his show on our next show. But we look forward to talking to David, and we will talk to you next week. And we're going to leave you, of course, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic

healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches mosques and synagogues, temples dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers birthers, witches, wizards vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Thank you. you