Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 189: What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

Episode Date: November 10, 2014

               

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. My name is Kyle, and I started listening to your podcast with that Book of Mormon guy. And when you started talking about Mormon underwear, it was the most horribly offensive, thoughtless, cruel, mean-spirited, and incredibly fabulous and hysterically funny bit of stuff I've heard in a while. Keep up the good work, guys. Glory Hole, the Idaho apostate here. Out. Hey, guys.

My girlfriend is a Christian, and she talked me into going to church with her. I'm still in the closet, so I can't really. It's too hard. So anyway, we went to church, and the pastor said something several times during service. He kept talking about Jesus touching people. And every time he said it, it made me laugh. Well, then he was talking about Sister So-and-So had been praying for a baby. And then he said, and Jesus touched her and now she's pregnant.

And I started laughing out loud. I couldn't, I couldn't help it. But then the pastor at one time, he turned around and he looked real sternly from the pulpit and he was looking right at me and he goes, let me tell you something. You might as well let Jesus touch you because he's going to anyway. And I did, I lost it. I couldn't help it anymore. I just started laughing. Anyway, I had to let Jesus touch you because he's going to anyway. And I did. I lost it. I couldn't help it anymore. I just started laughing. Anyway, I had to let you know that. Thanks a lot for making church bearable for me. For real. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome, Matt. This is episode 189 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, a long time ago when you and I were talking about this show, one of the goals that we had had was to be the car talk of the atheist skeptical movement. A couple of guys

just joking around, not taking themselves too seriously. So one of us has to die. That's terrible. Look, I do all the work, okay? I mean you. If one of us has to... Clearly, look, we've established a pattern. If one of us has to... Clearly, look, we've established a pattern.

If one of us has to do something, has it ever been me? All right, fine, I'll die. That's terrible. What a terrible intro. I blame it on the fact that I've taken muscle relaxers, beer, and Halloween candy as my primary... Wait, how is that different from any other normal day? I took two, yeah. Muscle relaxers, beer, and Halloween candy is my primary. Wait, how is that different from any other normal day? I took two.

Yeah. Oh, okay. You know, I will say, like, it's awesome having a Halloween-aged kid. Is that a thing? I don't know. But it's cool having a kid who's, like, old enough to, like, really love Halloween because he goes out. It's cool having a kid who's like old enough to like really love Halloween because he goes out. He brings all the candy to me and then my kid will pick a goddamn fucking blow pop over like a Snickers bar. Shut the fuck up. So like all the candy he eats is like I want a Twizzlers.

And I'm like you're out of Reese's. I'm just saying. I have no idea where they went. Right. I think your mom ate them all. They all had razor blades in them. I'm sorry. Every one of them.

Like six pins in each one. It is amazing. He prefers the chewy, just like I am a sugar candy to like, you know, delicious actual candy, like chocolates and shit. Oh my God. I know. It's nuts. Yeah, that's a fucking win, dude.

Especially around like now and Easter. That's like a fucking win. Shit's going to get real. I mean. You just get them like a whole fucking basket full of Cadbury eggs and just be like, he's like, I don't want any of those. I want a jelly bean. He'd be like, I'm eating all the eggs.

In fact, it's so much that we actually stopped buying actual eggs and we just make scrambled Cadbury eggs for breakfast. It's bacon and scrambled Cadbury eggs. My trainer told me to put an egg in every shake that I make. Right. So I just drop a Cadbury egg in each one. There you go. I think that it gives me the necessary carbs I need to sit on the couch and watch the

bulls. It gives me the fat reserves to survive several concurrent apocalypse. I think that's how that's... Apocalypse. I like that. You like that? I think that's You know, the nice thing is you don't often have to pluralize apocalypse.

There's only one. I mean, would it be like an apocalypsis? I don't know what it would be. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock. Long black cock. So our first story comes from the BBC. All right, stop laughing. Stop laughing because it's not funny anymore.

Mostly because people gave us a hard time about always pulling from raw story. This story comes from the BBC. Islamic State Crisis. 13-year-old on the religious, on the righteous path, rather. This is a fucking crazy story about a radicalized 13 year old from turkey um who when the reporters show up he's just like a regular kid like wearing a sweater like hey what's going on and then he like shows up for the interview and he's got like one of those fucking balaclavas over his head like the camo clothes and he wants

to be known as like a different, like more aggressively Islamic name. And, uh, some of the shit he says, it's like really demonstrates kind of exactly what is wrong with the way that religion is used as a tool by people who are politically motivated as an intentional way to radicalize young people.

Yeah. I think that, you know, that's a great way to put it, right? I don't want to fucking ass-land this whole thing and just be like, oh, it's fucking completely 100% political, and there's never any fucking whatsoever Muslim underpinnings to any of this, because I think it's bullshit.

Let me read what his mother says. His mother, it says, At home, he and his mother, who wants to be known as Fatima, lead a devout life. She spends much of her time studying the Quran and emits strong sympathies for the militants. She says, when she's asked, she doesn't encourage him. If she's not encouraging him, I ask, what is she doing to stop her son losing her child to extreme violence? I cannot stop him if he wants to fight. War makes children grow up fast.

I want him to become a future leader and a mirror. Steadily, her voice grows in intensity, her eyes narrowing in anger above the scarf she uses to cover her face. I would not be sad if he killed Westerners. I am ashamed that my other sons are working peacefully in civil society groups. They must take up arms. How would she feel, I ask. If he dies fighting for the Islamic State, she pauses.

I would be so happy before bowing her head to cry. There's nothing secular that makes anybody think that. There's nothing even, I think, in Christianity that makes anybody think that. That is clearly religiously motivated. And if you think about that, just that little piece and you start to consider that in the broader picture, they are happy when their children die. The people are happy to die because the religion is pushing them to do this sort of thing. And it changes the dynamic of the warfare that has to be fought. And it changes the number of casualties and all those things. And clearly she's not, the other thing that she's not doing is she's not making a difference between Western civilians and Western aggressors, right?

She's saying Westerners, she's saying, I don't care if they kill Westerners. It's not a good thing that religion is the underpinning there, that the Muslim religion is the thing that is driving some of this. Now, I don't think it's the 100 percent, you know, total motivator, but the stuff that it's tainting in there is all bad. I want to read some of the things that this kid says in this interview. He says within weeks he's going to go to ISIS, right? So he's going to go to Syria and become a jihadi. He says, I like the Islamic State because they pursue Sharia and kill infidels, non-Sunnis, and

those who converted from Islam. There's nothing political about that statement. You know, why does he like the Islamic State? Because he likes Sharia. Sharia is expressly Islamic, only Islamic, right? Kill infidels. It can't be an infidel in a secular world. Non-Sunnis. That's ethnic, religious. And then those who converted from Islam, apostates, right? So, you know, his motivations, and then he goes on to say, the people killed by Islamic State are American agents. We must behead them, as Allah said in the Quran.

Later, this 13-year-old kid, he's asked whether he has disclosed his age to those whom he talks with online. He says, at the start, I didn't. But recently I told them, and now they contact me even more. And I think that's the part that struck me about this article. Is if, in fact, it is not the case that this is an Islamically motivated movement, or at the very least, if it is not the case that the religion of Islam is being used as a tool to motivate fighters, if that were not true, if there was no religious basis for this, then people should be jumping up and down to correct this kid's misperceptions,

right, of this way. They should be saying, no, no, no, this isn't about, you know, beheading apostates. This is about, you know, taking control of land in order to gather resources. But they're, you know, they're not, no one's rushing to correct them. Instead, what they're doing is saying, hey, we got a live one. Let's use this religious bullshit to reel them in. There's a great bit that Sam Harris had out this week where Sam Harris was talking to someone, I think it was on the Huffington Post,

and he was again attacked by Aslan, who said something about how Sam Harris hates Muslims and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Sam Harris basically said, look, the deal is, is that there's a, there's three, there's sort of three levels he, he, he, um, articulated. The first level is the crazy fundamentalists. Then there's the moderates. And then he's, and then he talked about the people who have barely any faith at all. They just sort of don't look at this book at all. This, this, this, uh, text, this religious text and to get really anything out of it, they just sort of make up a God that really doesn't have any rules at all. this text, this religious text, and to get really anything out of it, they just sort of make up a god that really doesn't have any rules at all. It's just the rules that they put on it, but they still believe in it.

And he's like, and there's negative consequences to each one of these things, the way that the people believe it 100%, they believe it partially, or they believe it not at all. He's like, there's still religious consequences. And one of the consequences of the people who don't believe it at all is that they give a blanket to all the other people who do harm on this in the name of religion they give this blanket and that's what asson is doing basically saying no it's all political it's 100 political it's and you know like that's just not true you can read the story and look at it and think how in the world can you get from point a to point B if it's all political? How can you get to the point where the woman is saying, I would like my son to die for this cause?

What cause? You know what I mean? Like, is there a state, a political state out there that somebody is so nationalistic about that they're like, they would be happy that their son died for it? I can't think of one off the top. I mean, I'm sure that they exist, right? But that's a real fucking long stretch from where, you know, a secular nation is. Ask somebody if they're willing to die for like Norway.

Well, and even if they were willing to die for Norway or, you know, if somebody's like, yeah, I would die to defend my country. That's like, it's a totally different thing to say like, yeah, how would you feel if your son yeah son or daughter died you know in some war you know i think there's a different answer between man that would be that would be really heartbreaking we would miss them we would certainly wish you know that his that his life had meaning and purpose that's a totally different thing than saying like i'd be so happy i know you're right because one's one is a necessary evil the other one is a virtue. And this woman is extolling death as a virtue.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Glory to motherfucker. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Allahu Allah. Allahu Akbar. Fuck dolphins and giant worms. Al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alamu al-Alam So there's an Islamic researcher who is being, I don't know, interviewed as part of a debate titled. I love the debate title, Cecil. Saudi women driving, colon, rate of rape, fornication, divorce would rise.

That's the title of the debate. So I'm presuming that that's the pro statement? That's the affirmative statement in the debate? Is that if Saudi women drive, that the rate of rape and fornication and divorce would rise? Are you for the motion, Tyler? Yeah, I would say that I am against that particular motion. What they use as examples. what they use as examples. At one point, the guy's like,

women should not be allowed to drive because they're subject to menstruation and pregnancy. Really? Like, that's the thing. Like, these guys, here's the thing. These guys have no idea how a woman's body works. They really don't. They think, like, she's just driving down the road and just immediately, like, fucking blood shoots out of her like the fucking end of The Shining.

You know, where it's like a fucking whole elevator full of blood just drops down and she panics and she's like, what the fuck? Oh, God, it's never happened to me before. It's filling the car. I can't open the doors. This only happens every month to me. So, you know, like she's just immediately fucking shocked. She throws her hands in the air and crashes the car. That's what happens. Either that

or she's impregnated by the car. At a certain point, you're not sure whether or not they're talking about pregnancy. She gives birth to a Hot Wheels car. It grows up into like a little RC car. That's like it's toddler years. It's teenager. It's a Fiat, you know. That's like it's toddler years.

It's teenager. It's a Fiat, you know. It's like, oh, look at them. It's so ridiculous. And the other thing too is if that's the case, the detailers over there would be making a lot of money. You know what I mean? Because that blood is hard to get out.

It's just hard to get out of anything. I don't care what kind of interior you have. It's just hard to get out. anything. I don't care what kind of interior you have. It's just hard to get out. What it's like, he says that the menstruation and pregnancy, I like too, that they're subject to menstruation and pregnancy. Well, what about like women who are like postmenopausal? They're not subject to menstruation and pregnancy at all. Like they are freed from those things. That's not going to happen. But somehow these things in his quote, prevent women from coping with pressure because pregnancy is stress-free?

What? I don't understand how you get from fucking here to there at all. Later on, a Saudi journalist asks, if a woman commits an act of depravity, what's that got to do with driving? And the response is so depressingly telling. And he says, it's because women leave the house. So driving, he's basically admitting like, look, driving is freedom. And how can we cage our women in the home and allow them

the ability to act in the world of their own agency like i can't have that women would go around committing acts of depravity if we didn't cage them like animals they would just have their period in cars tom just how fucking i around shooting menstrual blood like a super soaker. You know, you can't have that. The thing is, if you allow women in cars, then you have to have roadside assistance include tampon coverage. And they just don't want

to do that. Triple H shows up with a box of fucking tampons. A la Akbar Muhammad Jihad Al-Akbar, Al-Akbar, Al-Akbar, Al-Akbar Al-Akbar Muhammad Jihad Al-Akbar

So the story comes from the BBC We talked about this a little bit from a Malaysian perspective But Iran's really ramped up the anti-canine shenanigans. Iran MPs propose lashes for dog walkers. Now, Cecil, you live in this city. You live in the loop of Chicago. Yeah, yeah. And I know that there's a lot of people in the South Loop.

I think you get issued a dog when you buy a property down there, don't you? It's like – You know what's so funny, man? Some of these people with these dogs, like they'll have like a fucking – like a – like fucking giant, like fucking Great Dane-sized dogs. I see this woman. She walks – I'm not even fucking kidding when I say the two dogs are at least I would say six inches over my waist at their back. That's amazing. They are that fucking big.

And, you know, like, that's like, you know when you've got to clean up like a German shepherd after they go to the bathroom downtown? Like, you've got to bring, like, a regular bag because it's like cleaning up, like, a human shit. Oh, dude, yeah, you've got to have, like, a shovel, like an old-timey, like, walk-behind-the-horse shovel. Let me tell you, when you've got a fucking Great Dane, you got to bring like a small backhoe with you. Are you kidding me? Like, you can't just go out with like a little jewel shopping bag

to pick that up. You've got to bring a whole hefty bag with you to take that. The amount of shit that has to come out of that dog. Like, it shits a shih tzu. Like, it actually shits out. It shits smaller dogs. An entire shih tzu.

Well, and I know, you know, in Iran you wouldn't have this problem because the punishment, according to a bill which is in parliament there, the punishment, Cecil, for anyone caught playing with, stroking, or exercising their dog outdoors would be 74 lashes. I think that's a typo. I think they're saying leashes. Here you go, sir. Yeah, I think that's a typo. I think they're saying leashes. Here you go, sir. Yeah, I think that's a typo. I think we're criticizing them.

What they're saying is the MPs propose leashes for dog walkers because I think everybody over there wasn't leashing their dog. There you go. That's probably it. I actually was thinking that it was like one of those old school, like just maybe a cultural misunderstanding. You know, here we think of like the cat of nine tails. You know, know it's probably they just whip them with actual cats they just string a bunch of them together and have that seems unpleasant for everyone it's really it's just like a string of cats

it doesn't feel do you see this the fines on this is are fucking crazy though tom it's like anyone who ignores the police warnings could also be fined 100 million riles. I don't know if that's correct, but that's 3740 in US dollars, 2350 in pounds. Well, and did you see what they want to do for the confiscated pets? They move them to a zoo, forest or desert. I like the desert. Yeah. The desert. Just like taking, can you imagine like your average house dog just being like, well, first of all, the zoo doesn't make any sense because a dog at the zoo? Like, and now look at this exhibit. In that culture though, I really, I mean, I think that the zoo is probably the best

place for them. You know what I mean? Because they really don't like the dogs. And what about, what the fuck is with fucking, it says you can't take your dog outside. It's like you can't take your dog outside it's like you can't exercise your dog outdoors where the your house you gotta smell like the fucking bumpuses you know what i mean like that's what your house smells like because what you know what do you do if you can't take your dog out i i don't know man like litter train a dog i guess that would be the only option is to

litter train the dog hey train it to hang its ass off the balcony and shit on passersby. What I know, you know, from having visited you many times out in your place in the city that, you know, there are some people maybe who should face the 74 lash fine for not cleaning up after dogs. Oh my gosh. This strikes me as a bill which probably was prompted by one too many parliamentarian dudes stepping in a fucking big steaming fucking dog pile

in the middle of the sidewalk. You can't tell. The thing is, is downtown, you can't tell whether it was a bum or whether it was a dog. Maybe a bum took a shit there. How do you know? You gotta get like an animal tracker who skips down in the scat. Skips like like a fucking bear grill sniff i'm just gonna

say yeah he's close like starts tracking the bums through the city he puts his finger in it like tastes it to his mouth like rubs it on his gums it's like he's like it's pure it's 100 pure i don't want to get into debate about the climate, but I will simply point out that I think in academia, we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There's no factories on Mars that I'm aware of. Well, Cecil, the voting is over.

I know we talked about it on our last show. Voting is over. And there's a host of new—there's a new sheriff in virtually every town, actually, because the only thing that America gets to do is get angry with Congress, fire the old Congress, bring in a new Congress, then fire the old Congress, bring in a new Congress, and that's kind of the endless, pointless cycle that we're in. pointless cycle that we're in. As a result of that fucking madness, we made God, I can't even believe this.

One of the most powerful Senate positions available, somebody who is going to help shape our climate and environmental policy is Senator James Inhofe, who we've talked about on this show, for his total lack of understanding of the environment.

This is what we've done. This is our choice. We actually, as a nation, Cecil, made the choice to look at future generations and say, fuck you. You live in a sea of garbage. Like we're condemning these people to like Max-style fucking Barter Town existence. I'm actually teaching my youngest son. I'm hoping his first words are, who rules Barter Town? I might even have him ride atop the shoulders of my older son as his primary means of locomotion.

Tell you what, to train them up, you've got to Thunderdome those kids as early as you can. Right? I've actually taken a host of improvised weird weapons and just, I string them by bungee cords throughout my kitchen. And when the kids get old enough, I expect to come home to just a pool of blood and one triumphant son standing over the decapitated corpse of the other. This is one of those things that I just can never get, wrap my brain around how these people get appointed or wind up, you know, in part of these, these, the Senate committees and stuff when they know nothing about it. It's like appointing an Amish guy is like the Department of Transportation.

And it's like, like the interstates are not for buggies. You know, we're just not going to put any buggies on the interstate. You just have no idea. Remember when that guy with the fucking internet's not a big truck guy? Oh, God. That guy's fucking in charge of the internet. This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. He has no idea.

He thinks the internet is a fucking vehicle. He thinks you put things in it or you fucking put it in a big pipe. He's just a wackaloon who has no idea what he's talking about. And there's so many of these people in Congress that are politicians, but they have no background in anything else. And then they have the audacity to call in people who are experts in the field and grill them with questions, cut them off and not pay a fucking bit of attention to what they have to say. I've said this before and I mean this. I really do mean this. There needs to be fucking prerequisites for these jobs.

Just electing anybody is a bad idea. Because the thing is we have this of like idealistic version of democracy, which which looks really nice on paper, which is like, yeah, you know, anybody can be a leader. Anybody can you know, it's the fucking ratatouille fucking Pixar. You know, anyone can cook. Yeah. OK, fine. You know, it's it's garbage. You know what we need if somebody is going to be the fucking chairperson for a committee on environmental policy, they fucking absolutely bare minimum have to have a master's degree in environmental sciences. pretty generous to insist that somebody who will be leading the country and in many ways leading the free world, you know, because of the amount of output that we have on a per capita basis. So when you look at that and you say like, man, this person is going to be in charge of this big fucking thing.

And the only like the only qualification is that people like them. Like, popularity contest. That's the only qualification for this fucking position? That's crazy. I mean, the reason he cites for refuting climate change, and this is a quote, Genesis 8.22 that I use in there is that as long as the earth remains, there will be seed time and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night. My point is God's still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, will be able to change what he is doing in the climate is to me outrageous. We got to trust this guy? This is actually why I'm going to go kill both of my sons today.

See if the Lord stops you before you do it too. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com.

That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from the Patheos blog's progressive secular humanist blog. Christian claimed death with dignity activist Brittany Maynard is in hell. So this week, Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old woman, passed away.

She died at her own discretion, taking advantage of Oregon's, I guess, the right to die law, where you can basically say, hey, I've got a horrible fucking debilitating illness that's going to kill me within six months, and I don't want to suffer through his horrors. And so she took her own life before she had to go through all of that ridiculous pain and torment and put her family through it. And the Christians have really come out, Cecil, and shown their kindness, their compassion. Kindness, I like that. Their Christ-loving spirit.

My favorite one of these, and this is a bunch of tweets that are on here, right? So there's a bunch of tweets that they found. And my favorite one in particular is this person who put on there, what that effing stupid girl finally killed herself. She is now damned her soul to hell. What she did is totally against God's law. Hope it hurt on the way out.

You took the coward's way out. And at the bottom, he comments on his own Facebook thing and says says suicide's not the answer for any freaking thing she's she's a coward a godless coward and he says hopefully hopefully hopefully hopefully hopefully i fucking i'm making him sound smarter than he is by saying hopefully hopefully her death was painful if i was there i would have stopped her and the first thing i thought is you know what her fucking life was painful her life was fucking painful don't you think she already fucking had that calculus run through her head don't you think you fucking degenerate that she already thought oh you know what i could just go on with this fucking ultimate pain that i'm in or i could die

and maybe that's going to be painful. But at least it'll be over. You know and the thing is. It's like. You know they're all worried. Like oh she's in hell. It's like you know. If she had lived through.

What she was going to live through. Then she definitely would have been hell. But it would have been real. And it would have been on earth. And it would have been. Her actual bodily suffering. Because it would have been. You i mean just i've heard interviews with her and what she had to look forward to in her life given that the diagnosis that she had

and the prognosis uh i mean it would have just been a goddamn fucking horror show as as she just writhed in agony you know for weeks or months as her body fucking just turned on itself. Instead, she went out surrounded lovingly by her friends and family. You know, she got to experience life until the moment that she felt in her own fucking personal judgment that her life, you know, that she was going to be on a downhill slope, whatever that calculus was, at the end of the day, it's her fucking calculus. Right. And these people who come out and they say this shit like, I hope her death was painful.

Like, why would you hope that? If you really believe that for the rest of all time, she will suffer the greatest possible torment, what fucking possible difference would it make if the last 15 minutes also sucked? Yeah. You know what I mean? That's like saying, like, oh, man, that dude totally got his leg cut off.

I hope he also has a splinter. What the fucking... That's, like, so bizarre and irrelevant and just generally mean-spirited. His leg got cut off, but I hope it's infected, too. You know? Yeah, right. And then this one's great. Terminally ill cancer patient Brittany Maynard has ended her own life.

Hell is waiting, God says. Just my opinion. Yeah, I know. Oh, it's just my opinion, just weighing in. I had to look up JMO because I thought it meant jerk me off. That's what I thought. I was like, jerk me off? Really? I was like, jerk me off? Really?

I was like, that was weird. What a weird thing to say. And, you know, I kind of wanted to find out because everybody seems to have the same mantra, right? They say Christians, all the Christians scream when somebody, and this happened, this happened so many, this happened several times in the past. I mean, this happened with that woman who was a vegetable. i don't know if you remember that woman who was like in a vegetative state yeah her husband yeah shivo and her husband wanted her to pull the plug and they were like no no no no and then there was this other guy who had like locked in syndrome and

was considering you know and they're like oh no no no no don't do it and they're sending them all kinds of tweets and you remember that guy with the locked in syndrome that sent him a bunch of tweets and shit oh so but they're like all talking about how you go to hell. So I started thinking, I'm like, where in the Bible does it say that? Where is it in the Bible that it says that? So I started looking, and it doesn't appear in the Bible. Turns out that what happened was, is that early in Christianity, there was a couple sects of Christianity that would, when they were being persecuted, would just kill themselves.

Because they're like, fucking, this is, it's way better in heaven. It's fucking, there's no reason to go through this here. I'm out. And they would just be out. Well, they were later deemed heretics by the Christian church. And it was specifically Augustine who came out early and said that suicide breaks the commandment that thou shalt not kill. And so that's why it immediately became this mortal sin. And I think that there's a little, I mean, if you look at it socially as, you know, as the Bible as like a social, a way to mold society socially, right?

Like, so it's like a social tool to mold society. It's like a social tool to mold society. If you look at it in this way, you think, you know, what I really think it is is that if you were fucking preaching this to your peasants, whose fucking life blows. You know what I mean? Like you're fucking, you're living in a mud hut. You're fucking like moving shit around all like big heavy things all day. You're like, oh, for dinner we're having one carrot. Everybody let's split it. Let's split this carrot.

And I've got to sleep with a goddamn donkey next to me and life sucks you know and so basically what you're telling him is like don't worry in heaven the poor and the meek you'll inherit the earth it's gonna be great it's fucking gonna be awesome you're you're gonna love you know your afterlife but if you check out too soon then you're gonna go to hell so you gotta get all that fucking work that you check out too soon, then you're going to go to hell. So you've got to get all that fucking work that you can out of these guys before. Because if you're not, you're just going to run out of people. Because if you told,

let's say you told the slaves that in the United States, right? Because there was many slaves that came over that were converted to Christianity and really did truly believe it, right? If you told them that there's a heaven and you didn't mention this fucking suicide clause. Right?

Fuck. Well, I suddenly have like a fucking thing out in the middle. I can have a machete or something I'm cutting fucking sugar with. Well, hey, so long folks. I don't need to be here anymore. I'm going to paradise.

I got my ticket right here. You know, it strikes me that it's like it it kind of speaks to that like nonsense that mother theresa would always you know like the glory and suffering you know like the virtue yep that is to be found in suffering which is fucking real easy to say when it's not your suffering totally you know and it also like reminds me too like how much of our current conception of Christianity and our idea about what hell is and who goes there, how much of that is actually influenced by Dante? Because this whole suicides in hell, Dante had a ring of people in hell, in the inferno, that were the suicides. And it's so funny when you talk to people how much of this has been just socially internalized.

And a lot of it comes from a book written by a fucking poet to get back at people he didn't like. Yep. That's all that. That's what that book was. That book was a big fucking thumbing his nose at people who had spurned him. It wasn't divinely inspired like the Bible, supposedly, right? It's just a big, long, awesome poem. Well, not just i mean and

the other thing too is you would think something so fucking important as insta hell right i mean like there's fucking not a lot of things in the bible that are insta hell right i mean think about there's not a lot of things where they're just like insta hell you would think something so fucking important as like to be called a mortal sin would be fucking spelled out explicitly. Right? He went out of your way. God went out of his way to spell out explicitly that there's two fucking different grains or whatever, or two fucking,

you can't plant two things in the same thing in the same goddamn row. That gets explicitly explained. But the thing that you go to hell immediately for, we left that out conveniently. So it strikes me then that the only way to commit suicide and still go to heaven, because the thing is that you have to repent sincerely, right? So what if you were to jump off of a bridge and then on your way down be like, I immediately regret this decision. I'm very sorry. Who's got two broken arms and is going to heaven?

This guy. Who's got two broken arms and is going to heaven? This guy. And instead of the thumbs, you know, when you flip your thumbs up, he just kind of flops his arms towards himself. Jiggly, jiggly. It's like one of those fucking crash test dummies. It's like a marionette. Like he's on string.

Blah, blah. Bra bra blue. This story comes from NBC News. Pakistani Christian couple burned alive in a kiln for torching the Koran. Islamabad, Pakistan. Evidently, the Christian couple had a house made out of candy, you see, to lure devout Muslims to it. And a trick was pulled on them just as they were about to throw the Muslims in the fire. They switcherooed. It's the old switcheroo, my friend. And they threw them in, but it's okay because they were witches.

They were Christian witches. So the story ends happily ever burning human ever. Christian witches. Christian witches. They were, yeah happily ever burning human ever. Christian witches. Christian witches. They were, yeah, well. They're critches. They were open, they were open face criss witches. Open face.

They were. And when you put them in there and you take them out. But when you take them out, they get all, they get all like crisp and they actually call that in Chicago, they call that a grinder. So. Oh no. So this story is fucking crazy. A Christian couple were burned alive in an industrial kiln.

Because that's how you treat other human beings. An industrial kiln. But they had a good reason. Wait, no, first, hold on, hold on. I don't mean to minimize the story. Yeah, don't you, yeah. They broke their legs so they couldn't run and then threw them in the fire. So, yeah, let's make sure that we get the entirety of the...

What did they do, though? Because, I mean, they probably, like, killed 65 kids and then, like, put them on spits and roasted them alive or something, right? Oh, for sure. It's either that or they may have burned some pages from our holy book. Yeah, it sounds like the Christians burned a bunch of shit that was left over from a deceased loved one, from the father of somebody who's deceased. Oh, Jesus Christ.

And that included a few verses of the Koran. It wasn't even a whole Koran. It wasn't even a whole book. Just a few verses. Shouldn't the person who tore it up in the first place be fucking the one that gets in trouble anyway and that's it man i mean it's it's fucking dunzo wow it's it's over so you know the only reasoned response was to break their legs and throw them in a kiln it's a it's just a brick oven pizza thing what do you want on your tombstone? It's a, it's a, oh no.

The thing is, I would never burn anything. I would never come near flame if I lived over there. I'd be like, sorry, I know I never burned a thing. I've never burned anything in my entire life. I cannot imagine doing anything other than just walking around constantly reading the Koran so that everybody could see you reading it and loving it and like snuggling. Like and this wasn't in like let's let's be super clear, too. This was an Islamabad like this was not in some fucking like dirty ass backwater of Pakistan. Like this is like, this is like right there, like fucking the heart of the fucking Pakistani world, fucking chucking people into a kiln. I cannot imagine what I would have

to do before I was like, well, I'm gonna fucking break your legs and throw you alive in a fire. I can't even imagine what somebody could do to me. So I can't i cannot like the crime that could be committed against me i can't imagine one so great i can imagine a crime so great i want to see somebody die but die that horribly to just yeah and we're talking about a couple of dozen people attacking their building like it wasn't like one or two dudes went crazy. It was like fucking serious, like old school storm the jail mob mentality attacking. Because there's nothing but death and refuse in the rectum. No life can come out of the rectum. The rectum is designed to get rid of death and waste.

It's designed for that one purpose. And the sodomites are cheering on and praising the rectum. So this story comes from the Raw story, and my new favorite, my new favorite pastor, this guy's so crazy, if I lived in New York City, I'd consider attending this church. You know what? It's one of those things that you just can't help but wonder what they, if he's saying this stuff on fucking YouTube, what does he say behind closed doors? Right there's seven minutes of this tom and it's totally worth listening to so let's get started we'll pause it as we go through this is from the atla

uh world church youtube page and this is uh the manning report uh pastor manning james david manning uh and this is their youtube channel i want to inform you that the sodomites uh led a protest against our church this past sunday someone informed me that they uh the sodomites were outside of our church protesting so we went out and took a look, and they were, and they had a big bucket of Starbucks coffee and all kind of other Starbucks paraphernalia with them. And they were all shouting, stop the hate now. They said that this church is a hate church and that I'm a hate preacher. But you remember that last week we appeared

in several major online news services, Huffington Post being a major one, The Inquisitor being another. And what else? Gay Star News, I think, was one. And I don't know, just several papers wrote articles about us because we had stated that Starbucks is ground zero for Ebola. And we pointed out how these homosexual sodomite persons, such as Dr. Craig Spencer, who lives right here in the Harlem area, who is a sodomite, that they frequent, that Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there. What?

A lot of body fluids are exchanged. Get the gay sodomites, your puddin' pops in the Kodak film. Like, it's like, he's like the fucking angriest Bill Cosby. He really is. He really is. What? Body fluids are exchanged at Starbucks? Like, what are you fucking, like, this is the guy.

exchange that's starbucks like what are you fucking like this is the guy what it is is it's it's instead of the person who would go out and get like blow people for crack it's like a guy who's a come on man i really need an espresso man can i just i don't know i just need a tall blonde roast i'll give you a blow job that's all i want it's a tall blonde roast look man i'll do anything for a macchiato all right right, man. Like I'm fucking, I don't care. I don't care. Bring a friend. All right. I don't care. Look, man, I'm getting the migraines. I don't want to get the migraines. I don't want to get the caffeine migraines. You know, to be fair, I go to Starbucks quite a lot and I just, I walk into a Starbucks and I just start spraying body fluids out of myself like a goddamn sprinkler i just i

just start fucking ejaculating in circles as soon as i walk in the door and ebola but the thing that i was not aware of is that there had been some information that had been released and the inquisitor news online news service carried this as a major story the week before that what Starbucks was doing is that they were taking specimens of male semen and they were putting it in the blends of their latte. What do you call a latte? Latte.

They're putting the female semen in my latte. No, this is the absolute truth. It's right there. You can see it right there in Inquisitor Online Services. It was a big article about an investigation into Starbucks using male semen and putting it into the blends of coffees that they sell. I mean, can you imagine? And I believe that they were doing that. Now, Tommy, you're laughing, but I actually went and called Starbucks Corporate today

and I actually asked them. I said, look, the Inquisitor and Pastor Manning, they're both accusing you of putting semen in your coffee. What's the straight dope on this? Pastor Manning, they're both accusing you of putting semen in your coffee. What's the straight dope on this? And they actually said, look, it's not in every coffee, but we do have a special line of coffee that has semen in it. So they told me that, now, these are the types of drinks you can get at Starbucks with semen in it.

And I just want to read them off. This is directly from Starbucks corporate. Now, Cecil, is this like one of those under-the-table menus that you have to like? They're all on the special menu. I got you got, you got to know the names of them. So the first one is spunk and spice. So that one's really popular around the holidays. Uh, there's a fappuccino. That's that one's a summertime drink. Uh, pumper mint. That's, that's a, that's a seasonal one. There's the Oreo Cream Pie Shake. That one's a little thick. I don't know if you're going to like that one.

There's the Hazanut Latte. That one's got a nice little nutty flavor. I like that one. They're also introducing a brand new kind of coffee. It's a little lighter than Blonde Roast, and it comes from Asia. You don't drink it. You pour it on your face. It's called the Boo Coffee,'s a it's a totally different kind of drink but it's it's new they're not sure it's going to take off do you have to order several yeah you can actually actually you you

have to order several uh that's the only way you can do it you have to have multiples poured on your face there's uh there's a couple more here there's the baby batter scotch that one is a i don't know that one's a little thick i'm not a fan of that one There's the baby batter scotch. That one is a, I don't know, that one's a little thick. I'm not a fan of that one. And then the last two are Irish cream and eggnog. Those are the other ones that have the semen in them. They're also, the last thing they did say is that they're actually taking the, they used to have the biggest size there. It's like the Trenta, I think they call it.

It's like a 30 ounce. It's the Trenta. That was the biggest size. But they're getting a new larger one in and they they're going to call it the Cum Bucket. So that one gets free refills, they said. But you've got to wait about 15 minutes between them. Let me tell you. Yeah, it takes a long time to get the refills on it, but it takes a while. So those are the ones.

Those are the official Starbucks with cum in them. So I guess I have some questions about those drinks. So, I mean, obviously there's a little bit of a lag time between your first and your second drink. Yeah. Is the second drink always a little less than the first one? It's always just a little less. And like, if you, if you ask for your drink with a few less pumps, is it, I mean, can you still get there? I guess is question none of these are none of these can be no foam like none of them whatever you do you can't just you can't you're just like sorry the foam's fucking inherent in the coffee there's nothing i could do and i got it i would also

worry about getting any of these as an iced version i just think it would kind of ruin the mood it just coagulates a little right it's not very good yeah it's it's it just you know the thing is is it just gets really thick. That's all. And if you spill them on you, you got to wash it out with cold water, not hot water. Oh, yeah. Otherwise, it's just a mess. Yeah.

You know, Coca-Cola got started at, you know, 100 years ago by using cocaine. They were actually using cocaine. Cocaine. And they stayed off the federal government and the use of cocaine because at the time they were used, there was no FDA, there was no federal drug administration, there was no really...

They still use cocaine. We all know that, right? Cocaine is still... It's just that they still use extract from the coca plant. It's just that the actual cocaine drug portion is removed, and then the coca with the cocaine drug removed is then sold to Coca-Cola. That's how that works.

Right. It's not like, oh, they were doing it. No, I mean, they're still doing it. Yeah. It's like deca's not like, oh, they were doing it. No, I mean, they're still doing it. Yeah. It's just, you know, it's like decaffeinated coffee, right? Like somebody's taken out a key chemical component, but it's still coffee. Yeah. And the other thing he's saying is like it's illegal to do it, to put like cocaine in Coke.

And so that's why they don't do it. Well, it's also, cumming in someone's drink is also illegal. Right. in coke and so that's why they don't do it it's also coming in someone's drink is also illegal right like like coming in someone's fucking latte is not a legal thing that you can do and it's hilarious too because it's like well they used to put cocaine in coca-cola it's like yeah because it was legal when they did it and everybody thought it was good and it was only much later that they everybody stopped doing it really good right i mean it's literally true i mean it's like yeah it's all good dude it's not like anybody was sneaking

the cocaine in the coca-cola they advertised it that's why it's built into the name of coca-cola you dumb motherfucker you know drugs that were controlled substance drugs and so they used it for a large number of years people were drinking Coca-Cola and getting high on the farm I mean you could drink a Coca-Cola at night and it wouldn't need any Johnny Walker

it didn't need any gin you drink gin because it ain't no sin no vodka either all you need was Coca-Cola. And people are drinking Coca-Cola like you won't believe. But the deal is this. The deal is that Starbucks has been, what's the word I'm looking for? Legitly, legally accused of, this is the word, legally, legally accused of using male semen

in their lattes. So when you drink Starbucks coffee, it's right there, see it right there. I'm not making this up. Inquisitor is a reputable online service, and they wrote three pages on this event. And the FDA is investigating. A lot of other people are investigating as well. So my question is, where are they getting all this semen from?

Well, it turns out every guy produces it. So if you're looking for some semen, not that hard to find. Right. Yeah. I mean, most men are actually looking for excuses to looking for some semen not that hard to find right yeah i mean most most men are actually looking for excuses to get rid of semen at any moment right like there's very rarely where you're like hey semen yeah okay good yeah let's do it i could be in an elevator and be like hey what do you say a little semen sure there you go i just been carrying it around it's not doing anything for me i was looking to lose a little bit of weight one teaspoon at a time.

You know, I mean, you ever go to the doctor and he tells you that, well, I don't want to go there, but you understand what they tell you and you bring it back to court. Well, you know, my suspicion is that they're getting this semen from sodomites. That's what my suspicion is. And somebody has discovered that semen, like cord blood, you know what cord blood is? Well, I don't have time to tell you if you don't know what cord blood is. I do.

You do not, sir. I love that it's like, do you know what it is? I don't have time to tell you if you know what cord blood is I do, you do not sir I love that it's like do you know what it is? I don't have time to tell you what it is I got other things to do like crazy rants and raves. Look you've got seven minutes and two and a half you're talking about coke and coca-cola you had plenty of time my suspicion is

is that semen like cord blood has the opportunity, and it has millions and millions of little zygotes in it, and it flavors up the coffee. Dude, I had no idea we could self-replicate. I didn't know that there was fucking zygotes in cord blood either. Like, what are you talking about, dude?

Zygotes in your, like, semen is like cord blood, and it has zygotes in it. Like, totes my goats, it's zygotes. Zygotes. What? You don't understand what a zygote is? He has no idea what a zygote is. He has no idea. Oh, that's awesome, man.

He thinks it's like a fucking, like he doesn't know the word for for sperm i think he doesn't understand the difference between stem cells because he's drawing a comparison between cord blood and and semen right so is he trying to say that they both have stem cells in them because that's that's the reason like we banked our cord blood when we had our kid we donated it we didn't bank it ourselves, but we donated it because it's useful for other people because it has stem cells that people use for therapeutic benefit. Like, is he suggesting that my semen

has a therapeutic benefit? Because if so, I'm converting to this religion. Jesus. And I'm converting as many women as possible. Yeah, let me tell you, anybody who's sick, you just come see me. Right? I just do a homeopathic facial. I mean, that's...

And it makes you think you're having a good time drinking that cup of latte with the semen in it. This is what the Inquisitor... I'm not making this up. They misread the Inquisitor article, which was debunking a satirical website. That's what they, just throwing that out there, dude. Like the Inquisitor article, you clearly didn't read past the headline. You dumb shit. Is that what it was?

Yeah, the Inquisitor article is debunking a satirical website. That's what it is. There is no article. There is no Inquisitor article that says that there's semen in these lattes. That does not exist. What there is is a satirical article from Hustlers.com, and it got a bunch of people not understanding. They got fucking onioned, right? Yeah. And so the Inquisitor actually went in bunch of like, you know, people not under, they got fucking onioned. Right.

Yeah. And so the inquisitor actually went in and was like, is this really a true, I mean, they snoped it is what they did. Oh my gosh. So. Yeah. I'm looking at it. The funny thing is, is he's like, it's three pages.

No, it's like a fucking half page article. It's a super short article. And it's like, not only is it short, but it's also got huge page breaks in it with like massive quotes. It's not three pages pages he doesn't even know how to count wrong with you that's why starbucks jumped all over me when i said that ebola that starbucks ground zero for ebola he's like he's like the fucking fat al Porky pig. He can't say anything. Okay, great. Now I know why I don't go to Starbucks.

But now I know why all these other untoward types hang around in Starbucks. This investigation has not been closed as of yet. Going back to the original story. So they came and they protested outside of our church this past weekend. Yeah, they did. And so I suppose that they'll be back again and again and again.

But I want to serve notice on everybody that will listen. I want to tell you that in not too many days, there will not be a public sodomite in Harlem. From 96th Street to 155th Street, river to river, there will not be a public sodomite. I'm going to tell you that. Now, you know, I've said a lot of things over the years.

Many of them you question. A number of them you kind of got in the groove of. Others you didn't believe. But all of them you kind of got in the groove of others you didn't believe but all of them have come true i want to tell you that there will not be a public sodomite in harlem in not too many days what an unbelievable fucking bigoted thing to say i mean i you know could you imagine if if a if a white supremacist said there wouldn't be a black person public black person in harlem right yeah i mean it's a threat right like what

else is he doing he's making like a weird veiled threat you know your kind is not welcome here that's awful man what else could he possibly mean by that do you know what else i don't know i mean i clearly i don't like the the only way to interpret it is that. Because if you're going to be that cryptic, there's no other way to interpret it. When all of his other shit's come true. Yeah, well. Yeah, all the other shit's come true. Right?

Also, nothing has come true. Well, he did at least put a solid timeline on it. Not too many days. Yeah, he said not too many days. You're going to be good there. Clearly, not too many days could he said not too many days so you're gonna be good there clearly not too many days could mean now until the end of time right yeah so it doesn't happen in a month it's like we still got more days and starbucks will close starbucks will be found to be perverting its customers and perverting human sexuality as if drinking Starbucks

is some sort of a sacrificial ritual bath where they kill the innocent babies and drink their blood in some of these meetings that are had by these fraternal sorority groups. Starbucks! What the

fuck is he talking about? This guy is clearly unhinged. Nobody says that shit and thinks it's real. They're not drinking the blood of fucking babies? I have no idea what he is

talking about has for years been using sexual fluids to prosper their businesses and the truth is now coming out and so so is something else. What are you? Well, you know, that's not the only thing coming out. That's all I'm saying. I like the idea, too, that, like, because people are consuming semen, like, they're now, like, gay. Like, I don't think you understand how that works, dude. Like, it's not like I'm like, man, this latte is delicious. Yeah, well, the secret ingredient is semen. Like, well, then I better suck a dick.

Because I really like this latte. It. Yeah, well, the secret ingredient is semen. Like, well, then I better suck a dick. Because I really like this latte. It's a delicious food item, I guess. It's been so good. I kind of got to go suck a big, fat cock now. Jesus, man. I don't think anybody sucks dick for the flavor. Yeah. Like, I don't know.

I'm envisioning like one of those old cigarette commercials where they're talking about like the flavor of the fuck They should have a Dick Sommelier standing next to each other and like man I just love the flavor of a good cock I'd be on the Virginia Slims commercials though love the flavor of a good cock. I'd be on the Virgin to Slims commercials, though.

I'm on the Capri one. Really, really tiny. The baby one. It's got length, but no girth. Just a sad little spaghetti. What you got going on there? This guy is just so fucking nut balls you

know if i had a starbucks uh or you know if i had the money enough to get a starbucks i would fucking own one right across the street from his church i would like and if i was corporate starbucks i would go out of my way to open a fucking store right across the street from him and it would never close no matter how much money it lost no matter how i would have it open it'd be a 24 hour a day star right it's i'd be like you know what you don't like us oh that's great we're gonna fucking park our ass right across the street and we're gonna invite everybody everybody's welcome here yeah it would actually be like free for sodomites yeah that's what i would have i would have like Sodomite Saturday. Yeah. You got like a punch card. You know, I mean, he's clearly crazy.

Like he's he's clearly crazy. Also, to be honest, he kind of sounds like he's gargled semen anyway. It's almost like the way his voice is like all just like fucking caught up in his throat. He can't speak. It's so nuts. Yeah. Nuts. Nuts being the operative word.

Yeah. Nuts. Literally nuts. Yeah, nuts being the operative word. Yeah, nuts. Literally nuts. We do want to mention also that Adam Reeks from the Herd Mentality podcast did an interview, quote unquote interview with this guy as a joke beginning to his episode. I think it's episode 77. And it's hilarious. Oh, he nailed it. He sent it to us, a preview.

Very funny. So check his show out. Check out that interview. He did a great job of using this guy's own words against him in the most hilarious way. So go take a look at Adam's show, The Herd Mentality Podcast. So we want to thank our most recent patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons, but we want to thank our most recent patrons,

Dennis, Fraser, Timo, Corey, and David. Thank you all so much for becoming patrons this week. We really appreciate it. We appreciate everybody who is a patron to the show. We want to mention, too, before we get into our email, that we will be on the Dogma Debate podcast on the 6th of December at 10 p.m.

We'll post the links when they go live, when we figure out what time and where exactly it's going to be. But we know the time. What we want you to do, though, is we want to try to raise some money for Foundation Beyond Belief. So we talked about it last episode, but we definitely want to try to get some money for Foundation Beyond Belief so we talked about it last episode but we definitely want

to try to get people to donate during the hour that we're on and we're going to match people's donations up to $2,000 and we can only do that specifically because you guys are such amazing patrons you know we're getting we're taking an entire month worth of money that we're getting off of Patreon

and we're going to try to donate that to match other people's Patreon to match other people's Patreon, to match other people's donation to Foundation Beyond Belief. So we want to thank our patrons, of course, for making all that possible. Absolutely. I'm looking forward to the podcast-a-thon.

10 o'clock at night, you know, get on. I think we'll be able to have, you know, it's live, it's a podcast-a-thon, right? So, I mean, that's really our time to shine, see something that's live. It's going to be great. When you can't edit, I mean, that's really our time to shine, Cecil, is live. Oh, God, yeah. It's going to be great. When you can't edit out all of my mistakes, which are fucking legion.

It's going to be good. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it. So we want to mention a campaign. This is a mental health campaign. A person by the name of Corey who runs the Brainstorm podcast out of Saskatchewan. I think I hit that one on the head. Saskatchewan, Canada.

It's just Sasquatch Town, right? That is. It's Sasquatch Town. Sasquatch Town, Canada. And it's going to be on November 22nd. He's going to have the executive director of the regional branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association on. And he's trying to raise some money to give this person a check. He's selling T-shirts for his project. And so we're going to put the project here.

I haven't listened to the Brainstorm podcast, but to raise money for mental health is a wonderful thing. So we're putting the link for these on our website for this week on the episode Show Notes 189. So if you want to buy a t-shirt, you'll be donating to this campaign so he can give hopefully a little over $350 to the people who are going to be coming on his show for mental health. So good luck, Corey. We hope it works out. We'll put a link to his show as well in the show notes for this episode. Corey. We hope it works out. We'll put a link to his show as well in the show notes for this episode. You know, and mental health issues are issues that all too often go unaddressed or under addressed. And certainly, at least here in the States, are very all too often underfunded. So an opportunity to donate to a good cause that's really promoting quality mental health

services is something really to pay attention to. So if you've got a chance to go through, buy a shirt, help them out, show the generosity that our listeners clearly have. We got a message from Cinder? Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Let's go with Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Cinder.

Cinder. Cinder. Cinder. Let's go with Cinder. Cinder. Misspelled my name. Called you Ton, by the way. Got that right.

Well. Yeah. I mean, you were a little. Actually, I feel like calling me a ton is a little generous. Maybe they're talking to Metric. Yeah. So they're talking about the incest thing that we talked about a couple weeks ago when somebody had asked, what do you think about incest?

And we said, well, we really don't care. They had said, well, one of the problems is that there's a power balance with incest, depending on if it's mother or daughter or things like that. And one of the things that we actually added out of the show was the power imbalance thing. I had said, I had made a comment about how I wasn't really fond of any kind of relationship where there would be that corner pint of power imbalance. And specifically because you wouldn't know when the relationship started.

So if it's like a mother-son relationship, how do you know that mother-son relationship started when it was a consenting adult? You don't know. And the power imbalance thing is kind of weird. Although I will say that it's not illegal to have a power imbalance relationship. I mean, professors do date students, even though it's

unethical, it's still fucking legal. You know what I mean? Like, it's not a thing that, like, there's no law against it. And so when we're talking about laws, whether or not there should be a law, there already is a social taboo against incest. So there doesn't need to be any kind of laws. I mean, there are clearly, I think there clearly are laws against it, aren't there? You know, I actually don't know the answer to that. But I agree with you. I think that society does a perfectly fine job of constraining behavior that is kind of inherently sort of like incest.

And I don't know that necessarily the government needs to step in and say like, yeah, that's illegal. Like, why is this? It's not like there's like some epidemic of problems that are being created by incestuous relationships right now. You know what I mean? Like, so I just I fail to see what problem it addresses. And I just don't feel like it's it's my place or government's place to holy shit to legislate that let me read you some of these fucking punishments okay so

in the united states digital columbia and every state have some form of codified incest prohibition in all states incest is sexual activity between a lineal ancestor and a lineal descendant, parent, grandparent with child or granddad, siblings, brother and sister, and niece, nephew, uncle, niece. However, individual statutes vary wildly. Conviction for incest attracts the following maximum penalties by state. Five years in imprisonment in Hawaii or Florida or Utah.

And in Utah, it's even first cousin relations can get you uh thrown in jail surprise 10 years in 10 years imprisonment in mississippi north dakota south dakota wisconsin and minnesota 14 in california oregon washington alaska and idaho 15 in connecticut louisiana m Delaware, Virginia, and West Virginia. West Virginia is scary. That's shocking. I would have thought they would be very low. 20 years in Massachusetts, New York, New Hampshire, Maine, Pennsylvania, Vermont, 25 years in

Kansas, Nebraska, Arkansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, Wyoming, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, and Kentucky. 10 to 30 in Georgia. Life imprisonment in Alabama, North Carolina, South Carolina, Montana, and Tennessee. Life in prison? What? That's what it says, my friend. That is unbelievably excessive.

Life imprisonment. I don't... Good grief. Clearly there's a law system there that I had no idea even existed. Yeah, I just... I recognize that there can be power imbalances, but I don't know that I think that power imbalances should be illegal. I just think that they're already just unethical. But legality and ethics sometimes diverge. That's

just the way it works. The Book of Mormon, we got a message from Joshua, and I want to read this. Joshua says, I'm listening to episode 187, My Book of Mormon. We had David on from the My Book of Mormon podcast, and he says, I have to strenuously object to David Michaels' characterization of the Book of Mormon as fan fiction of the Bible. This is an outrageous claim. As a Jewish atheist, I have to point out that the Christian Bible is the one that's fan fiction, and the Book of Mormon is a second-degree fan fiction at best. And I got to agree with him there.

I think that's hilarious. That's very funny. Thank you for's hilarious. That's very funny. Thank you for sending that. That is really awesome. Tom, we got a message from Juliana about the decapitation virus. I was debating a Mormon about their piece-of-shit book, The Book of Mormon. As a former Mormon myself, I knew the book Inside Now is my favorite.

The act in question was one where a Mormon prophet, Nephi, was ordered by God to kill his drunk guy that had some scriptures that Nephi wanted. So Nephi took out his sword, which would have been made out of iron or bronze, because this is the Bronze Age, and hacked the old drunk guy's head off, stole his clothes, and was able to take the scriptures back. And I had a few qualms about this. First, Nephi stole his clothes after cutting his head off, which isn't an easy task.

He was alive and drunk, which would have made him bleed a shit ton. Second, Nephi was using a short sword in the Bronze Age. And as I'm sure you guys know, the neck has this pesky thing in the way of getting cut in half, the spine. Nephi wouldn't have had to saw the poor fucker's head off, so the clothes would have been a bloody mess. What a great disguise, right? I love the idea! And he's like, I need a disguise. Let me lop this dude's face

off. And then he cuts his head off and he's covered in blood and he's like, no, I'm fucking this is good. No, I'm great. He's like fucking walking dead. Did you murder this dude naked? Like, did you not? Like, clearly you didn't think this through. You're just walking around like, oh, I got to kill that dude so I can get those scriptures.

Because that's how you get holy stuff. You decapitate bitches. Like, that's what you do. That's in your holy book is the decapitation. Yeah, you know what I got? What a fucking pisser if you did that, like, for the Old Testament. Like, you fucking decapitation yeah you know what i got i got the would it be what a fucking pisser if you did that like for the old testament like you fucking decapitated a dude and then you're like give me those fucking book and you open it up and the first thing you read is thou shalt not kill and you're like oh god should have read it first fuck jeez oh you're like you're like you're

like awkwardly trying to shove the guy's head back on his body. You do that thing. He's still good. He's still good. He's just a little decapitated. You're like doing that thing. Like when I was a kid, I don't know if you did this, but when I was a kid and I would break something, I would very carefully, if possible, like piece it back together so that it didn't look broken.

So then the next person who walked up and touched it. What did you do? It would just fall apart. I did this all the time as a kid. And then they would be like, then they would sometimes think that they broke it. They'd be like- After the very barest touch, a slight breeze knocks it over and it falls apart. Like, oh my God, I totally broke this thing.

I did that to a dude's globe. This very this thing. I did that to a dude's globe. Like when I was, okay. So this dude had this, like one of those expensive like globes that are like inlaid with precious stones and whatever that represent the different countries. And I was like, I was a kid and I was at his house because they were like babysitting and I was like spinning it

and I was spinning it fast as I fucking could. And like something happened. I don't remember what, because I's a fucking kid. I was retarded and it just cracked like a crack, but it cracked like super neatly in half. And so I placed the one half very, very gingerly on top of the other half. And I just fucking walked away. And like two or three days later I was at that house again, again, being babysat. And like the guy just like bumped it and this was like grown ass man, like bumped it. And the top half slid off and like shattered on the ground. Oh no!

And to this day he has no, and I still know the guy. He's like a family friend. And there's fucking no way I would tell this guy. No way. I remember. And he was like, he was like, how did that even happen? Like he was just flabbergasted. We got a message from Arthur, and Arthur sent a picture,

and I'm going to put the picture up. It's 50 Shades. It's a joke. It's kind of funny. It made us laugh, so I don't want to ruin it for you, but thank you, Arthur, for sending it in. We're glad you're a new listener. This is pretty good.

This is from Lee, and Lee sends in a message, and she said, I had written before, I listen at work, and I must admit not always giving you my full attention, which results in what the fuck moments, followed by rewinding to see what the hell I just heard. That's got to be fucking crazy. That's actually how I do the show. I try to rewind Cecil.

Today, I heard you were reading the verses about skin disease and thought, oh, they must be doing one of those Mad Libs. I want to hear them choose the words. So I skipped back only to hear you say, we thought about doing this as a Mad Leviticus, but it made it more sensical. So, yeah, absolutely. That has got to fuck you up. That rewind moment where you're like, oh, I can't wait to hear them pick the, oh. Oh, no. Yeah, that's right there in the book, man.

That's the holy text, word for word. So I'm going to load this up onto our website. I have no idea who sent this to us because Tom deleted the email, but luckily we still have the MP3 that they sent. I'm going to play a short portion of this, about 45 seconds of this, but this is five minutes long. It's totally worth your time. It's very funny. It is all kind of the same joke though,

so I'm going to get you a little taste of it. If you want to hear the whole thing though, it's very amusing, but I just want to play a little tiny touch of this so you can get an idea. And I'm going to post this. I hope I can post it. I'm going to upload it

to our website it should be relatively small and then i should be able to post it as a link on this episode so uh so look for it on this episode but i'm just going to play like 30 seconds of it this is uh in reference to the man who was doing the uh the campaign speech out in front of the train yard this is a very similar thing this This is them imitating that person. See, so the trick is to delete the email before you even got it. I don't even know how I did it. I'm sorry for not giving proper credit where credit is due. So whoever sent that over to us, I certainly didn't delete the email on purpose.

In fact, we don't delete any of our email at all. We use Gmail. We just keep it all open. I would say that we kind of do because this one's gone. We delete at least one. Yeah, at least one we delete. Yours. Yeah.

So thanks for sending something awesome. You get no credit. Hello, Americans. My name is GOP nominee Anthony Cullen. And I am running for your U.S. Congress in the 6th district of South Carolina. Right now I'm currently under fire because I said some things in the media about gays and homosexuals being gremlins and it seems that if you're going to try to force us to get gay married all right and take away our take away our

right And we're going to have to go ahead and make a stand in America. And we're not going to go with the trains. Well, don't you feel hairy? Anyway, so I'm here representing the 6th District of South Carolina. Okay, so that's part of it. Go listen to the rest of it. It's really funny. So I wanted you guys to get a chance go listen to the rest of it it's really funny so i wanted you guys to get

a chance to listen to it but i can't i i would love to dedicate five minutes of the show to you but it's a long show already and i can't dedicate any more time but give this guy a listen uh it turned out very funny thank you very much whoever you are wanted to close out the show with a message we got it's a google voice message i don't want to play it. The person said not to play it anyway, but I'll summarize it. The person said, hey, your show goes after people who do things immorally in the church. Recently, Michael Shermer has been accused of doing something immoral, and I haven't heard you guys talk about it. Why isn't there a fair and balanced sort

of way in which you're dealing with this it feels like all you're doing is picking on religion well sometimes people in our community do bad things and you guys should point that out too because that would only be fair and uh what i want to respond to that with is i don't look to michael schirmer as a moral authority in anything really he. He may have written a moral book. I don't know. I wouldn't read it anyway. It's not that I don't like or dislike the guy. I just don't know anything about him. I only read one of his books, and I wasn't really that crazy about it. And so the thing is, I don't look to him as a moral authority in anything. If he were a moral authority, someone who's saying you shouldn't do things that are bad,

whatever the things are that I think are bad, and then does one of those things, then he's being a hypocrite. But Michael Shermer isn't being a hypocrite if he does some immoral thing. I don't look to him

as a moral authority, so I don't think that there's any necessity for me to bring up whether or not he's doing immoral things, whether or not he's he's even doing them, because at this point it's only alleged. But I don't I I just don't care enough to bring up whether or not he did a bad thing on the show. The same thing goes with Brian Dunning. I don't care enough whether or not I know that Brian Dunning was convicted of something, but I don't care whether or not he did that. It doesn't erase whether or not Brian Dunning's podcast had anything of worth in it, because I never looked to Brian Dunning for any kind of moral guidance, because that's not what he did.

What he did was talking about skepticism and then possibly having some sort of immoral act in there that they commit. Yeah, so just to be very clear, too, about the selection process for how we determine, you know, kind of what stories go in the show and what the show's focus is going to be. So when I'm looking at stories, I come across stories all the time of, you know, this pastor stole money from his church. I never post. I don't really care. Why don't I care? Because some people are shitheads.

And that's kind of a full-stop statement, right? Like some people are shitheads. But where the show and the shitheads intersect, as Cecil pointed out, it's at the point where somebody is saying to the rest of the world, behave as I tell you to behave, for I am the arbiter of good. right and wrong, my understanding of right and wrong is divinely inspired and it comes from this thing. And I am the one who is going to be here to tell you about it. And when they do harm or behave in a way that is inconsistent with their own values, then those stories make the show, right? So like Cecil pointed out, hypocrisy. Hypocrisy makes the cut more often than not because where that hypocrisy comes from is somebody exerting moral pressure from a position of supposedly divinely inspired authority on society or on their flock or what have you.

Michael Shermer is just a dude. He's an influential dude, but he's not influential for his moral teaching, right? He's influential for skeptical stuff. Now, I would cover it if Shermer came out and said, I saw Bigfoot and stop, no evidence, whatever. I saw Bigfoot, now I believe in Bigfoot. That would be worth covering, right? Because here is a skeptic claiming throughout the course of his career and making his career based on this set of guidelines or this set of principles, and then all of a sudden abandoning those principles for some kind of weird gain or whatever's motivating his Bigfoot claim. So in that case, that would be a story I would gleefully cover, and we would rip up Michael Shermer.

This is not a story we cover because it just doesn't relate functionally to the rest of the story, to the rest of the show, to the way the show is structured, to the way that I choose the stories that the show is built around. You know, it'd be like, another similar thing would be like if, say, Sam Harris converted to Islam. Oh, all over that, dude. We'd absolutely cover it. I would be all over that.

Yeah, we'd absolutely cover it. But, you know, the chances of that happening are pretty slim. But that's why we didn't cover it. It's not because I don't think that, you know, people in our movement who do bad things shouldn't have some sort of repercussions, but that's just not the focus of the show, really. And I think that those people who do bad things in our in our community already do kind of have some bad repercussions that they have to deal with. So so getting a shellacking from us probably wouldn't even be on their radar. And, you know, I guess if he used his position of authority to commit some kind of heinous

act, then maybe that would be worth considering. But I just don't know that that's the case. It's not clear. It's not as clear as when, like, a priest tells somebody that you have to have sex with me or demons will, you know, prevent your mother from getting fucking cancer treatment or whatever shit we covered not too long ago. Right. That's a clear violation of power and a moral abuse. So we're going to be on Incredulous on Sunday. We're actually recording this late Friday night.

We're hopefully going to be on Incredulous. It looked like Andy was sick. So maybe we'll be on. We'll see. But we're looking forward to that. We're going to be on with Marsh. it looked like andy was sick so maybe we'll be on we'll see uh but we're looking forward to that we're gonna be on with marsh uh so that should be a lot of fun we'll post a link to that when it goes live uh and until next time we are going to leave you as we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babyBabylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating,

pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives,

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