Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 190: Snakeoil on a Plane

Episode Date: November 17, 2014

  Foos Babe article -http://skeptic78240.wordpress.com/2014/11/11/food-babe/ :  

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hello, Tom and Cecil. Love the podcast. Paul from Australia Ring. Just a question about that fat Albert guy and the sperm in the coffee. Do you think that bloody Starbucks would sue the living arse off this guy? So I'm wondering why they haven't actually taken some sort of legal action against him. Let's shut him up.

Anyway, love the podcast. Keep it up. Bye. Hi, Cecil and Tom. This is Esme. The reason that there's a long period of radio silence is because I was referred to on Google Plus in a chat, you know, stream as your guys' stalker. And it made me sad.

as your guys' stalker, and it made me sad. So I decided that I needed to, like, you know, let some other people leave you messages and harass you. But I've listened to every show. I'm still the biggest fan there is, and it's apparently a stalker, which is not untrue

if you can stalk someone in Chicago, people in Chicago from Los Angeles. Anyway, the reason I'm calling is because apparently, although I am grateful that you love David Cross and that you mentioned my email, you did not listen to the attachment to the email in which you would have heard David Cross being even more hilarious and more crazed. David Cross being even more hilarious and more crazed and, well, not crazed, but even more, you know, I guess politically incorrect. I get so nervous when I'm leaving a message to you guys because I'm like, oh my God, I'm talking to you so much. This is so exciting. And I can't speak. It's so annoying.

Anyway, there's nothing more now that I can think of to say, except maybe I will try and get David Cross on your show. I mean, I probably can. I don't have that kind of juice, but we'll see. I'm gonna try. Glory Hole! Yay! Nailed it! Remember

Glory Hole! Okay, bye. You know, Tom, there's nothing like having a really shitty day and then listening to you go, this is what you do. I had to brought it all back to reality and crack my ass off. You guys, you totally rock. Glory Hall. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 190 of Cognitive Dissonance. It's not, is it? Yeah.

90? I wrote it right down. Look at that. 190 already? 190. You can check it against, where's the fucking tool that guy made? God damn it. It better be episode 190.

Yes, it is. 190. It is. It's a lot, dude. It's a lot. By my math, it's like 10 more until 200. I could be wrong, though. What are we going gonna do for 200

i don't know we gotta do something we gotta do something big though well i don't know the listeners suggest some things yeah what do you want us to do for episode 200 we'll do something fun yes we're not very creative come up with something yeah come up with something good but we are actually recording this one here in glory hole studios we are so 200 probably should be in glory hole studios too absolutely. 200 should be together. Or a nice place. Yeah. You know.

Or a place we're visiting that doesn't smell like your funk. Yeah, I think I might be good too. Yeah. I'll wear my shoes for episode 200. That'll be the consolation. That'll be my gift. Yeah, because you're not wearing pants. Hey, I don't care if you are a guest in my home.

So this is episode 190. We're recording it, obviously, together while we're making some beer. So, you know, if the show feels a little disjointed, it's probably because we're recording it in multiple pieces. Yeah, and not paying a lot of attention to it because we're thinking about other beer upstairs. Yeah, other things. We're thinking about other things. Things that are mine. So this show, like all shows,

is really a consolation prize. Yeah. Wah. Wah. It's like you lost a contest, but you're not even sure what the contest was. It's like somebody comes up to you and is like, I'm so sorry. And you don't know what for. Like, what's going on?

It's like, that's cognitive dissonance. Or they congratulate you for getting through one episode. And they're like, congratulations. What, did I graduate from something? Or did I get married? Did I have a child I don't know about? Oh, you just listened to one episode of Cognitive Business. You listened to this thing.

Yeah. Our deepest condolences. So speaking of condolences, we should move on to Pat Robertson. The Patator? This guy is just fucking spectacular. A couple of things with him this week. Yeah, he's been on kind of a roll. So we got a couple of stories.

The first one, he's really been hitting the women in trouble. That sounded bad. He's really been hitting the women. He's really been hitting the women in trouble. So Pat Robertson beats women in trouble. No, that's not true. That's not true. It's a quote.

This one is Pat Robertson's single mother is tempting God by not getting married. Tempting God? Tempting him to do what? She's not a piece of chocolate cake. Right? Like, God's just going to be like, oh, look at that single mother. I'll tell you what. I really want to eat a large chocolate cake.

I'll tell you this much, though. I would believe if, enormous hand reached out and plucked up single moms. Om nom nom nom! And like legs, like fucking blood and bits of single mothers rained down from the heavens. I'd be like, well, that's fucking clear evidence. Then there's attempting going on.

You know, the problem is that single mothers are like Cheetos. You get all that orange on your hands and you try to get it off. It just makes it hard for God to play Xbox. His toga just has smears on the front of the smingle.

He's basically got single mother blood waterfalls flowing down his... It's on his jeans and on his chest there. He's basically imagining God as a disgusting gamer guy. Right. Exactly.

A guy who doesn't leave a basement. Kind of somebody who sits in their basement with earphones on. No. Stop. Wait. God damn it. God damn it, you guys. Son of a bitch.

Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. God's got like a fucking filthy beard with like bits of like bits of single mother it doesn't matter what's in there yeah right because he you can sacrifice a lot of different things so there's probably some sacrifice the ram oh yeah smoke of an eel and like some doves and shit all the stuff that you can put up in that room. Oh, disgusting God. So, hold on now. He says, do you want to listen to what he has to say? Yeah, we got to listen to this. We have like, it's like a minute long.

I don't want to put words in Pat Robertson's mouth. A ball gag, yes, but words, no. What's the safe word, Pat? This is Mark Pat who says, my daughter's been living with a man for three years and has a baby by him. She's told her kids that they're married but she won't marry him because she's had

two husbands already. She told me once that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. I tell her that forgiveness is for when you fall into sin and not for premeditated sin. Who is right? Could you tell me who's right so I can rub it in her face? Is there a possibility that I could get your endorsement, Pat Robertson, so that when I

sit down for Thanksgiving dinner, I can flip my plate at her and say she's so fucking wrong? Right. That's exactly what it is. It's like, I've been judging my daughter and she won't put up with that shit. So I need an authority figure. So I thought I'd call an old man on TV and see what your thoughts are about my daughter who clearly doesn't give a fuck. Oh, man. Like, can you imagine how that conversation would go?

It's like, well, I talked to Pat Robertson and he says you're a dirty, filthy whore. And it's like, okay. That's exactly what he says. Okay. Let's listen to what he has to say. I hope it's dirty. I hope he's like, whore! How was your day at the whore?

You're absolutely right on that one. This girl's playing games. I don't know what kind of bringing up she had, but she didn't have a very good one. It doesn't sound like a couple of marriages already. I mean, she's obviously undisciplined, rebellious. She can't hold a stable relationship, and now she won't enter into one, even though she's got a child by this man. And then she's tempting God.

I mean, man, she is walking on the edge. You think, well, Linda was taking a chance. I mean, she's really on a tightrope. And she is, I mean, I would certainly pray for her and I'd warn her because she's asking for it. And it's going to be really tough. But don't tell me it's easy to ask for forgiveness and permission. I mean, that's a big joke. Yeah, sure.

But not when you're dealing with the Lord. I mean, sooner or later, God's going to say, that's all she wrote, baby, and it's going to be tough. What does it even mean? None of that means anything. She's walking a tightrope. Well, you know who he's referring to? He's referring to that dipshit who did the discovery walk the tightrope across.

Oh, yeah, yeah, the guy who did the Chicago tightropey thing. Did you see any of that? I didn't see any of it. I saw zero minutes of it. Sarah had it on. I came in the room and Sarah had it on, and she said, hey, they're up the street. They're because they were in Chicago. And they were walking across a famous

building in Chicago, and she said, hey, they're right up the street. And I said, oh, that's great. And I went back in the other room because but I could hear from the other room, this guy, every few stops, he would say, praise God. Oh, praise Jesus. Praise you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength, power, Jesus. And they had Austin on there to give like a prayer. Absolutely. It was crazy. And it was live television that was completely like sort of an evangelistic feel to it. Everything felt churchy and the guy kept praising Jesus. It was really strange. And so he's referring to that guy when he says Walenda was taking a chance.

He's saying that the girl is walking a tightrope, too. How would that prayer work? Like, dear God, please protect this man flagrantly flouting his life and taking unnecessary risks for no reason other than publicity and probably money. Meanwhile, if you could ignore the tens of millions of other people that are like desperately just want to have a food and to live in a safe place. Meanwhile, protect this dipshit walking on a rope between two buildings for no fucking reason other than for a big toothed preacher to fucking yammer jam about it. To praise you about it and spread your word it's funny because i think of cash his show atheists on air and how it when it it started i haven't listened for the past couple episodes so i don't know if it still starts this way but it started with the uh right this day or this day 17 000 people will starve to death right and you wonder about that you think oh 17 000 people are going to starve to death but this guy he's wonder about that. You think, oh, 17,000 people are going to starve to death, but this guy, he's the one

with Jesus' protection today. Can't you spread that around a little? Right. I don't need it all. I just need a little, just to get between these two buildings. Maybe you could protect some people who are going to die today, Jesus. That's it. And you make it across, and you're like, thank you, Jesus.

That's kind of a big fuck you to all those people that are like, I haven't eaten in so long! It'd be awesome if he gets to the other side and he explodes into manna and falls from the heavens. He just becomes bread and fish. Bread and fish and he just falls down. There you go. Yeah, but that's what he's referring to when he talks about it. I don't

understand the tempting God part, though. Like, I really don't. Tempting God for what? And how do you even tempt a God? Yeah, well, doesn't that imply, like, if I'm God and I'm going to be tempted, so if I'm tempted, what am I tempted toward? I'm tempted toward things I want to do, but

that I hold myself back from doing despite wanting to do it, right? So, like, I would be tempted to say, eat a piece of cake. Sure. But let's not fuck around. You're going to eat a fucking piece of cake. Okay, so let me rephrase that. I might be tempted to say, eat a piece of cake. Sure. But let's not fuck around. You're going to eat a fucking piece of cake. Okay, so let me rephrase that. Yeah, rephrase it. I might be tempted to buy another cake.

But I'm too lazy to actually get the cake. So when I read this or when I hear this, I hear this idea that God is going to send this woman to hell, basically. Right. But that implies that he's tempted to send everyone into hell. Sure. And that the only reason he doesn't is because he can't come up with a good enough excuse to chuck everybody like into the fucking pit of ultimate despair. Right.

Because otherwise you would be tempted, like if I were benevolent, wouldn't I be tempted to forgive first? And then that adage that he like poo-poos, right? The adage is like, it's better to ask forgiveness than beg permission, right? Well, your whole fucking religion is built on forgiveness. Yeah. And then he laughs at it like, oh, not with God. Well, no, actually very fucking specifically with the Christian God.

Your whole thing is built on forgiveness. Right. It's forgetting what your main tenant is. It's like, it's being Alamo and not renting cars. You know what I mean? Sorry. It's all of a sudden one day you show up to Alamo

and they're just slaughtering people. And you're like, this is the wrong Alamo. Wrong Alamo, dude. What's going on here? I need my coonskin cap. I wanted a Chevy Cruze. This is not what I was hoping for.

Actually, I wasn't hoping for the Chevy Cruze, to be honest with you. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. It sprays just like a fountain from his mighty meaty sword, which is long and hard and throbbing, filled with holy blood, and gorged its Jesus high hard on. needy sword which is long and hard and throbbing filled with holy blood engorged it's jesus high hard on glory glory whole he'll do ya glory whole i wish i knew ya glory whole oh hallelujah behold his long black cock so this next story is also from the Raw story, and it's also from Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson tells women how to get clean after abortions and multiple sex partners.

You know, when I read this, I thought these were going to be shower instructions. Just a detailed... You've got to use a pumice soap when you're in there after the... After the abortion. Abortion. You've got to get... God. And you need one of those nuclear get. God. Oh, no.

And you need one of those nuclear reactor sprayers. Oh, right. One of those ones that they use in Silkwood or whatever. God. Oh. Jeez. Yeah. So this is like a seven minute clip.

So we're actually not going to play the clip because it's just absolutely for shit. But he basically relays the story or allows this woman to relay her story about how she became a stripper to rule over men. Yeah. So it's clearly one of those stories that, like, the focus of the story is not about, like, why this woman may have had a difficult time with her chosen career or, like, whatever. Instead, it's like strippers are bad for men, right? Because, like, you'll become powerless to the allure of the woman. Like I just picture like a stripper, like popping up out of a basket, like a Cobra, like you're like, Oh no, you're mesmerized in front. Like I, although I guess the man would be the Cobra, right? And then the woman would

be the person with the little fluty thing. You know what I'm talking about? Well, maybe not the entire man, but certainly parts of it. Parts of them. Parts of them are going to rise. If you could put a bend in it and wiggle like that, good for you. Hey! Good for you. You know what I mean? They call that the tickler. I mean, the moment mine bends, that's all it is. That's it. It's fucking done.

It's not like there's a bend and then there's a front piece. That's when the apologies's fucking done. It's not like there's a bend and then there's a front piece. That's when the apologies begin. Yeah. You know, that's when you just, or at least become more earnest. I had a little too much to drink tonight. I'm sorry. Yeah. Set a timer.

It's going to be a while. Set a timer. Yeah. One of the things that this woman talks about, and we watched part of this earlier, and if you would like to, you could go to this Raw Story page and you could watch this. It's about seven minutes long, like Tom said. Uh, such as she felt, she felt dirty and that she felt that she was unclean and that she needed to be saved and that she was doing all these horrible things like sleeping with men and things like that. And she felt really bad because she was having sex and having, having lots of sex and then treating herself like a sex object. And I mentioned to Tom earlier, and I think this is important, the only people that feel like that are the people who make sex such a reverential act that they can't look past

it as a human act. They look at it as something that's transcendent. It transcends the human. And so that they feel like that act has some sacred component to it. that they feel like that act has some sacred component to it. And while it does solidify relationships, there's no question that psychologically sex solidifies relationships. It also is not anything extra normal. It's just sex.

And if people were to treat it as just another act of the human body, you would run into a lot less of the people who suddenly hate themselves because they had sex outside a wedlock or they became a part of the sex industry in some way whether it's a stripper or whatever it is that they happen to be doing yeah you know there's there's like there's so much about our biology that we have internalized a hatred for right like we've internalized a hatred for like we're we're disgusted by all the processes of our bodily selves. Yeah. And that's such a ridiculous way to go through life as a fucking organism, right?

Like, if, in fact, you cut me open and I were just, like, a ball of sentient light that happened to be trapped in a fucking meat puppet. Yeah. Then that would make sense, right? Totally, right. Then I'd be like, well, yeah, because I was something greater than that. But the reality is that I am the meat puppet, that there's no me outside the meat puppet. And so I'm not grossed out by the fact of my biology. I bleed, I shit, I piss, I have sex, I eat food, I fall asleep when I don't want to.

These are just parts of being a fucking meat. That's it. Like, I just walk around it. But this woman, like, she has to, like, this religious nonsense, like, it just preaches the shame. And, you know, I make the joke about being like a ball of light, but I mean, isn't that like kind of an analogy for the soul? Like, because they believe that we are a soul and the body is just sort of this temporary inconvenience that we're saddled with while we're on the earthly plane. And it's part of all the earthly desires. And then all this shit is bad and evil.

And it's like, get rid of all that. You'll have way more fun. Yeah. You'll be okay with it. Like you'll fart and think it's funny again. Yeah. You know what I mean? Nobody looks at you and thinks it's disgusting where people laugh and say, ha ha, that's

funny that you farted. Because there's a commonality to that experience. Like, ah, it's ridiculous and kind of silly and I'm human and you're human and let's enjoy the absurdity of our flesh. Yeah. Instead of I'm going to punish myself, you know, emotionally and mentally over this transgression, which I'm not transgressing against anyone except for myself, and it's not even a transgression. You were having, I'm sure you weren't having sex

just to make someone mad. You were having sex because it felt good. Because it made you feel good. It made you feel wanted. It made you feel good about yourself. There's a reason why you want to have sex with someone because someone wants to want you, and that makes you feel good. And the idea that she isn't getting anything out of this, that she's only getting bad things out of this, that she's only stacking these bad things on

completely takes all the fun and importance out of sex, in my opinion. Let's say I am grossly obese because it's easy to say because it's true, right? And I eat like, you know, your standard like lunchtime three gallon thing of ice cream. Sure. You know, like even if that's a decision that I later regret, it doesn't mean I didn't get any pleasure from eating the ice cream, right? Like it still tastes good. Sure. It still satisfies, you know, a physical need. Often food will satisfy an emotional need. Food is actually a decent analogy here. Yeah.

Because there's a lot of shame that's involved with people eating and, like, how much people eat and overeating. And it's like there's all this, like, baggage that comes with it. But it's just a part of our biology. Sure. And there's going to be days you regret what you've done. And there's going to be days you don't regret it. And then there's going to be things that's just flat out neutral and there's a bonding to sharing a meal it's like there's a bonding to having sex with somebody like there's it's just part of being

in the flesh and of the flesh you know we just got to get over that like it's it's crazy and this but but i will say to her credit christ held her face that's what it says. What she says is that Christ held her face. Held her face. He held her face while he face-fucked her. Tom, you have to hold the face when you do that. If you don't, their face just bounces away. You've got to hold on to it. You've got to really have a grip there.

Yeah, and you've really got to make... And that's why that sound, that clucking long hair often. That clucking sound comes out. That cluck, cluck, cluck. That's where it comes from. That's where it comes from. That's it. Yeah. She says it here, that Christ held my face and said, you are worthy.

You are a worthy daughter of a king, and I love you. And then she recalled, it sped up time so much when I started capturing those lies that I was dirty because of all the sex that I had and all the men that I had let touch me. And God would say, you are pure. You are a pure daughter, and I purify you. That didn't happen. Like you said, when we were talking about this, you just decided you were okay with it.

Yeah. Like that's what happened. Like no fucking footprints in the sand shit. Like God wasn't like, God wasn't like, while you were blowing those dudes, I was holding you. Oh no. I was the pads under your knees. Oh, shit.

I was the hand that unbuckled your bra. This is the worst footprints ever. The worst one. I was your gag reflex. Oh, no! I was your tolerance for salt. No. No more. That's it. No.

No more. That's it. No more. Stop it. It was enough. I was the tears in your mascara. I said, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus In a move that will come as a surprise to nobody, this next story comes from the raw story.

We've got to start paying them a royalty at this point. Or they should pay us. Yeah, we're probably driving traffic. For our in-depth analysis of their stories. We could be driving as many as one to two people a year to this site. They should become patrons of our stories. We could be driving as many as one to two people a year. A year. To this site. They should become patrons of our show. If Raw Story becomes a patron of the show.

Like, all right. So Christian Radio Host, that's not going to happen. That's just so absurd. It's not going to. It's more absurd than the gods we talk about on this show. The idea that anybody who has options, you know, would actually. Christian radio host admits to sexually abusing 11-year-old boy while another man watched. You know, it's like you read that headline and you just have to pause for a second.

So Grand Rapids, Michigan, Christian radio host broadcaster was sentenced on Monday to at least 25 years in prison for the rape of an 11-year-old boy. He pled guilty to sexual assault. And it's not just that he was sexually abusing somebody, but he was arranging, with the help of another person, to procuring children

for this other dude to have sex with. But it was at a Fairfield Inn, which is a Marriott park. That was terrible. You get extra points if you stay there. You know, this is something we talked about in the past. I don't know if you remember this guy,

Bellew or whatever we mentioned this guy. He was from Michigan. Yeah. And they had arrested him or whatever. And we had gotten messages from people that said, hey, guys, it's just alleged. Even though he had already confessed to the crimes when we talked about it on the show, they were like, hey, it's just alleged. Well, now it's clearly not alleged anymore. He's convicted of this crime.

And if you watch the report here, there's a report from Channel 8, I guess, up there. the report here, there's a report from channel eight, I guess, up there. There's a point where he says, I just want to take the opportunity to say, I am feeling very deep and constant remorse for my actions. And I want the family to know I am very sorry and wish I could have could do something to correct what has been done. What do you say? I mean, I know that that's got to be a horrible position for everybody involved, clearly. You know, it's not something that anybody ever thinks of. But those words feel so weak to me. Yeah. What wouldn't feel weak?

You know what I mean? Like, I'm feeling very deep remorse. Well, you know what, man? I mean, you're feeling deep remorse because you got caught doing something. You know what I mean? Like, if your remorse was so great before, you wouldn't have done the thing. You know what I mean? It's like the remorse did not outstrip your desire to perform the action. Yeah. You know, so. And procuring a child through another person to have sex with them.

It's so premeditated, man. It's crazy. I mean, it's not a spur of the moment. And even those are not. It's not that I'm condoning any of that stuff, but it's not anything even that develops out of nothing. Right. It clearly has some path in your own brain that brings it out into reality.

Yeah, you had to be at some point like thinking to yourself like, oh, yeah, I got to meet that guy like four so that I can procure a boy for him to have sex with at a hotel. Like, oh, at some point it's in your fucking Google calendar. You know what I mean? It's got a code name, but it's still in your Google calendar. You know, the part of this, the reason that something like this would make it

to the show is because this guy is a Christian radio broadcaster. is a Christian radio broadcast. Right. You know, and the whole Christian radio circuit is enormous. Yeah. It's just, it's absolutely enormous. You know, the TV, the radio, for a persecuted minority, it is amazing. Gosh.

How much, how many venues, how many media outlets. Every week, Tom, they pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Every single week. It's amazing to have that big of a bootstrap. God bless everyone. God bless them and America. And God bless their guns. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense,

then it's going to be spreading across the entire Fruited Plain. And you're going to be going to your entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your Whopper. Okay, hold on. This is the best part about this, is the image. The image. I'm going to read the title, then we'll just talk about the image.

Bachman-affiliated law firm warns federal court gay marriage leads to man-marrying animals. Why does it got to be a man-marrying animal? I don't know. Women don't ever want to. I mean, there's a fucking donkey show. I don't know. Is that just like a one-night stand? The donkey's not marriage material.

She's not looking for a long-term relationship. She's looking for something long, but not a long-term relationship. This isn't the kind of donkey you bring home to mother. Eeyore. You know, that's the problem with the donkeys. They're so sad. You know, it's like, bring them home. They got a fucking ribbon on their tail and a fucking mopey face.

It's not even worth blowing them anymore. Mope-faced donkeys. It's not even worth blowing them anymore Mope face donkeys So the image associated with this article Is like a sad little dachshund With like a fucking piece of doily Or something on it's head It looks like a marriage bun

It's like a veil Yeah you want to have a veil As it walks down the aisle Does the dog wear white too? I don't know Are they going to have kids? No she's spayed walks down the aisle. Does the dog wear white, too? I wonder. I don't know. Yeah, what I see... Are they going to have kids? No, she's spayed.

She's a rescue. Hey, have you seen my wife? Oh, don't worry. She's microchipped. I got my wife tied up out back. Oh, no. No, really? Literally tied up out back. Oh, no. No, really. Literally have her out back.

Well, the problem is she jumps the fence if I don't. Oh, man, you should see. When I let her in the house, she shits all over the place. On our three-year anniversary, I got her a squeak toy. Oh, no. I don't know. Is it paper or squeak toys? I'm not sure. I don't know. I it paper or squeak toys? I'm not sure.

I don't know. I just got her a box of tennis balls. That's it. Honey, it's your favorite. It's milk bones. Yeah. So we have this law firm, I guess, that's saying all the same things, all the same tired old lines that we hear every time when they talk about same-sex marriage.

They also tote this other thing out, and I'm going to read directly from the article here. It says, if marriage means fulfilling one's personal choices regarding intimacy, it is difficult to see how states could regulate marriage on any other basis. but also number familial familial relationship. And even species are insupportable limits on the principle that they will, that they all will fall. So basically they're, she's, they're saying that if we allow same sex marriage, then we also in some ways are taking a step to allowing people to have multiple partners in the same marriage,

incest in a marriage and or interspecies relationships in a marriage. And what I think they bring those things out for is for the the you factor. Right. They they they tack these things on so that people say sex with dogs. Oh, and they make that face and they, ew! And they want them to feel the same revulsion that they might feel if a same-sex couple is getting married.

Immediately, you know, like, the thing is is that people, they think about people having sex, right? So there's that moment

where they think about, you meet someone and for some reason there's this group of people out there that automatically picture you in bed. Pent-up Christians.

I have no idea who these people are. Because I don't meet people like that. I don't meet a person. I don't imagine anymore ever since the internet. I can't imagine. I demand evidence. Yeah, exactly. Send me video.

And I don't think of, I certainly don't think of couples having sex. I just don't, that doesn't occur to me. Now, when I was a single man, because I don't think about other women now, now that I'm married, I don't ever think about other women. No, it's impossible. Can't. I'm actually not even sure that there are other women. I don't think you can prove it.

Anyway. I think they're all Barbies down there. See, I knew before I was married. Right. Yes. Before. Long before. Long time ago.

Before you even could spell your wife's name. Exactly right. I wound up, would meet a girl, and I would, let's say I met a girl who happened to be with somebody else at the time. Sure. If I were to ever think of that person in a sexual situation, I would never think of them with someone else. Right? I would be like, I'm that guy. Yeah, right? It doesn't make any sense to think of somebody. It's all POV, man. Exactly. I would be like, I'm that guy. Yeah, right. It just doesn't make any sense

to think of something. It's all POV, man. Exactly. Exactly, right? You gotta do that search. You know, it's also funny because this is clearly a set of solutions in search of a problem. There's no major groups clamoring for

incestuous marriage, right? Nobody's asking for it. And it's so funny because it's like you're misunderstanding the idea of consent, and we've talked about this before, so I'm not going to hammer it home again. I mean, really, that's the crux of that issue is consent. But then the other thing, it's like you're arguing against a position nobody else is taking. It's so evidently a straw man. It's not like there's incest pride parades. Sure. There's so evidently a straw man. It's not like there's incest pride parades. Sure. There's no bestiality

pride parades. It's not like there's huge groups of people who are like, just be a bunch of dog walkers. My rights too. Okay, I'm going to clean up after your parade. I don't know what it's about. Yeah, but explicitly though,

bestiality is one of those things that is non-consent. Of course. It's impossible for there to be a position of consent between two different species. Right. And if you don't think your dog has free will, take the fucking leash off and see what happens. Right. See what happens. It's like, my dog is here because he loves me, and that's why he wears a collar with his name on it and a microchip. And he's microchipped.

Yeah, and I have a fence. Yeah. Because he loves me. He loves me so much. Like, he loves me, and that's why he wears a collar with his name on it and a microchip. And he's microchipped. Yeah, and I have a fence. Yeah. Because he loves me. He loves me so much. Like, he loves you, yes. But he's fucking, at the end of the day, he's a dog. And if he sees a fucking squirrel. Out of here, baby.

He's like, he'll run away, and then when he can't smell you anymore, he now lives in Squirrelville. Yo. Science. What is it all about? Technology. What is it all about technology what is that all about is it good or is it whack so this next story is less of a story that's it's just something that's sort of resurfaced yeah and we've talked about the food babe this comes from the food babe blog and before anybody decides to call us out i know that this is from an old blog. But it's also fucking funny.

Yeah. And it has resurfaced. And so on the Food Babes website, she has an article. Had. Had. Because she took it down. Yeah. And when I first found it, I went to her site.

So she took it down in the last couple of weeks. Yeah. I think probably in the last like 10 days. Because when I first saw this, I saw it from the source. Now it's gone. So for whatever reason, this blog post got a lot of attention now, even though it's a couple of years old. And the blog post is about what to do when you're traveling. Cecil, and she has some really unique viewpoints on what happens to you and how airplanes work.

Oh, yeah. Everything in here. And it's so crazy. We have to just read pieces. We do. There's nothing else we can do about this. The thing I just want to address before we get started, though, Tom, is I understand that sometimes you and I don't do the research that we need to do.

And I get that. We're busy. We have families. We have jobs. We do other things. And so once in a while, we'll make a gaffe. Sure. And we'll come back and apologize for it or whatever.

But most of the time, we're unwilling to take a step that would lead us to a certainty answer like this, right? To say something so outrageous as to say that the plane pulls in oxygen from outside and the pilots get more air and more recirculated air and better air. So that's why it's a set up front. It's so funny, too, because the seats up front are the most expensive seats in the fucking plane. You know, the ones that are the most expensive, first class, business class, all that shit costs extra money. Everybody flies coach. Everybody I know flies coach. class. All that shit costs extra money. Everybody flies coach. Everybody I know

flies coach. Right. Although I just recently started buying the 40 extra dollars each way for a little extra room. There's like a business class on a lot of flights and it's a little extra money. It is so fucking worth it. Holy shit, it's the best money I've ever spent in my

life. Because you actually have a little wider seat and the people are a little farther away from you and you have more room in between oh it's fucking glorious yeah because the current cattle car situation is gotten really super unpleasant and i and that's a reason why i think a lot of people get sick too i'm not a doctor so i don't know but i think that when you fly you're stuck in a tube with 50 other people breathing and coughing and wheezing and emitting fluids and whatever and you're going to have an opportunity to get sick.

I think that's greater than if I were to not be in contact with any other human being. We know how germs work. We know how diseases are spread. Right. It's not like they sanitize the airplane before each use. Absolutely not. And you can't sanitize the person sitting next to you. Well, I do.

You're just like spraying Purell on them. Well, I got a spritzer of it. What I actually do is I wear one of those garbage bags like that Jewish guy who didn't want to fly over graves. Do you remember that guy? Yeah. Do you remember that guy? I do, I do. So I sit in the airplane just covered in plastic.

Covered in garbage bags, yeah, because God can't see you if you're hiding. If you're in a garbage bag. If God has a towel over his eyes, he can't see you. Well, it only counts if it's a hefty. So if it's like a cinch sack, you're hiding. If you're in a garbage bag. If God has a towel over his eyes, he can't see you. Well, it only counts if it's a hefty. So if it's like a cinch sack, you're fine. But, you know, the other thing that happens too is that you're stressed from traveling. That could lead

to a lot of... Sure. You feeling bad or you feeling... Tell you what, if you travel with kids, you're fucking stressed. You're probably feeling pretty good on vacation and when you come home, life is back to normal. So maybe you might feel a little bad because of that. Who knows why everybody gets sick? There's probably many reasons. I'm sure there's many reasons.

I'm not going to do the research to find out why. Maybe it's a myth, too, that people just get sick more from traveling on planes. I don't even know if that's a truth. You could just notice. Right. You could just. There's lots of other things. I don't know.

I'm not going to claim to know. I don't care. But I'm not going to tell people what's 100. The way she says it. The way she states things. The way she writes things. but I'm not going to tell people what's 100, the way she says it, the way she states things, the way she writes things, and it's blatantly false stuff. She starts talking about nitrogen at one point, Tom. It's amazing.

I want to read the nitrogen statement. She says, the air you're breathing in an airplane is recycled from directly outside your window. Not true. I don't think that's true. That's not true. That means that you are breathing everything that the airplane gives off and is flying through. I don't think that's true. That's not true. That means that you are breathing everything that the airplane gives off and is flying through. That doesn't make sense.

Anything the airplane gives off would be behind the airplane. It's moving 600 miles an hour. Right. It's moving pretty quick. I mean, I can't imagine unless it somehow has a scoop that goes behind the air and shoots. It's like a carbon monoxide. I don't even know. How would that work?

Like all of a sudden it only takes the air from behind the exhaust of the plane. That's where the intake is. But there is no air intake. They just recycle the air from the interior cabin. And then it says the air that is pumped in isn't pure oxygen either. No shit, lady. You don't get pure oxygen unless you're a football player and just ran back a touchdown. It's mixed with nitrogen, sometimes

at 50%. Oh, that's 25% less than the air I'm breathing now. 28% less. Yeah, because it's 75-78% in the normal air we're breathing, right? And then 21% oxygen or something like that. And then there's other stuff. There's trace gases and then carbon

monoxide or whatever. Carbon dioxide is in there. But you have already you're less, unless she's saying that it's at 50% nitrogen and that's scary because normally it's at 70%, but I don't think that's what she's saying. She's suggesting very clearly that the presence of nitrogen in your air is something to be worried about or that you, or as if to suggest that most of the time we're walking around in an environment which is 100% oxygen. And I'm so grateful we don't. Because can you imagine the burn rate? I know.

Like, let's start a campfire, also known as the Earth is a glowing orb of death. You know, like, if everything was pure oxygen, like, shit would burn at incredible rates. Fucking everything would rust immediately. Oxidation is a fucking real thing. Oxygen is the enemy to almost everything other than shit that breathes and requires. You know, like, oxygen is not, like, a universal good across the board just because we happen to need it. Like, it is a fucking thing which oxidizes. Yeah. You know,

it breaks shit down. Yeah. The thing that shocks me is how blatantly she'll just say these things. She just made it up. And she clearly just made this up. She made it up. There's no, I mean, what other source? I don't even see this as being sourced. So she's just saying something. And the thing is, she's a pretty face, she's a good-looking girl, and she

happens to have a blog where people will automatically take her word for it. Right. You know, one of the things that I love in this article is when your body's in the air at a seriously high altitude, your body undergoes, that's two words in her blog, undergoes some serious pressure. You're doing a little grammar Nazi thing there. It makes me crazy. You're doing a little grammar Nazi thing there. It makes me crazy. You're doing a little grammar Nazi thing. This is great. Just think about it. No, please don't

because this is going to break. Airplanes thrive in places you don't. Airplanes thrive. Like airplanes are like, woo, glad to be up here in the air. Unlike on the ground.

Man, I hate landing. Yeah, where I suck at being an airplane. Like, no, it's just as good at being an airplane on the ground. Man, I hate landing. Yeah, where I suck at being an airplane. Like, no, it's just as good at being an airplane on the ground. It's still, it's not less of an airplane. It's not like, oh, it's only 60% airplane. As I fly, I get closer to the

platonic realm of forms. It's reached a level of airplane-edness. It's a glowing ball of airplane. And then she says, you're traveling in a pressurized cabin. And when your body is pressurized, it gets really compressed. You fucking goofball.

The reason the cabin is pressurized is because as you go higher up, pressure goes lower. So if they did not pressurize the cabin, people would have a really hard time staying conscious. Yeah. Also alive for a significant amount of time. The airplane is pressurized at about the equivalent to 8,000 feet. I was going to say, it says it in this article, this person refutes their claim. Right. It says it's pressurized at 8,000 feet.

As the aircraft ascends, the pressure is allowed to drop. When the altitude exceeds 8,000 feet, the cabin is pressurized from the air, from the engine compressors. While flying in an airline, your body is not compressed. It's less pressurized than it was at the airport. It's so awesome. It's so awesome.

Everything about that sentence, literally everything, including undergoes, is wrong. Everything in that sentence, like, gee, every part of that sentence, every statement she made, is wrong. Everything in that sentence, like, gee, every part of that sentence, every statement she made

is wrong. Well, there's a thing in here where she says, drink eight ounces of water for every hour of flight time. Can you imagine an international flight? I'll tell you what, you gotta piss a lot if you're on an international flight. You're going to Australia? Yeah. You'd be like, I'll have one ticket to the lavatory, please. Can I just get an IV?

Can I just do IVs? I'll have an IV and the lavatory, please. Can I just get an IV? Right. Can I just do IVs? I'll have an IV and a catheter. Thanks. I'm going to Tokyo, so if I can just hang my dick out the window. No, they'll recirculate the air. Yeah, recirculate the piss. Everyone's drinking your pee. It's 7-Up up here.

She brings her own food. It's not on this particular blog because he didn't copy the pictures, but she brought her own food, and she had all this stuff that she had in bags that she had packed with her. And it's all this sanitizer and then she has this chai stuff to keep her energized. Can you imagine her burning sage as she walks through the... I can't imagine anybody taking this woman seriously. Seriously for a second. imagine anybody taking this woman seriously.

Seriously, for a second, honestly, if this woman sat next to me in an airplane, it would be like the movie Airplane. Yeah. Like, I would just want to kill myself. It's like that long line of people punching that person. Yeah, right, exactly. The slap on the back of my head. She would be so obnoxious to sit next to.

It would be fucking unbelievable. Pulling out her own sandwich and eating the crackers and the chips or whatever. No, they were celery sticks and carrots is what she brought with. But then she talks about how foods contain GMO and pesticides and MSG and chemicals. And what she's selling people, because she's selling something, right? She may not be selling, and I don't think she sells, I don't know if she sells supplements. She may sell supplements, I'm not sure.

But what she's selling is her own healthy living lifestyle. Right. So what she's selling people is this methodology that she has come to because she happens to be a good looking woman. That's how she sells it. Right.

She sells it through her own luck and good fortune with genetics because it's not that she happens to eat carrot sticks that she's a beautiful

thin you know right uh happens to have you know very nice skin and long hair and is you know a nice smile of course it's not because you eat carrot sticks it's because you take care of your entire body yeah and there's this feeling that people want to cheat they want to be able to cheat to it's it's the diet thing it's that i want to cheat to get thin i want to be able to cheat to – it's the diet thing. It's that I want to cheat to get thin. I want to – nothing works except for diet and exercise, right? Nothing has long-lasting ability except for diet and exercise. But people hear about this diet and they think, I want to cheat. I want to be able to get past that difficult stuff to be better.

And the same thing here. They want to be able to get some sort of – this is the magic bullet. This is the thing that will allow me to get through the airport so I don't feel sick afterwards. And I want to be able to cheat and go through and not be sick. But the thing that shocks me is that people pay attention to it. So many people. She has thousands and thousands of followers on every different social media and people will buy her stuff up. Well, and people will defend her vigorously.

Yeah. You know, despite the fact that, like, every fucking claim she's making is demonstrably untrue. Every claim. You know, even the claim she makes, she makes this crazy claim about the humidity in an airplane. Yeah. And she compares it to the Sahara Desert, and she gets both numbers wrong. Yeah. And you're just like, you didn't even Google it.

Yeah. You didn't even, like, you didn't even Google it. You didn't even Google that shit. And the thing is too, if you're writing an article about the discomfort of air travel and how to ameliorate the discomforts of air travel, you don't need to make shit up. Air travel is uncomfortable. It's easy.

That's a fucking Seinfeld skit. You know what I mean? Like, what's the deal with air travel? Podcasters they live in squalor destitute and disenfranchised eking out an existence as best they can in such desolate places as chicago in pairs but otherwise alone, they suffer from hunger and thirst, barely making it day-to-day on store-brand chicken wings and weak domestic beer. Fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear But now you can help. For just a few dollars a podcast, pennies a day,

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this is this is the raw story episode man it's just fucking all raw story. Jehovah's Witness leader complains, gay people are plotting to put everyone in tight pants. Well, I will tell you what, sir. As a man who cannot wear pants that are not tight, because there is simply no amount of fabric, which creates a loose or baggy pant upon my girth. You go to gel on fabrics and your pants are just, they're bolts of fabric wrapped around bolts of fabric. Which creates a loose or baggy pant upon my girth. You go to Gell-On Fabrics and your pants are just they're bolts of fabric

wrapped around bolts of fabric. I've taken to wearing carpet remnants at this point. I just... I wear boat sails at this point. I call Empire. I have that old man show up. Old man, it's Tuesday again, huh, Tom? Alright, we'll get you set up.

Just don't soil these so fast, sir. Don't tell me what to do. Make me some Berber pants. Do you know how hard it is to take these off? Take them off? I just cut access holes in the shag. Got a little trap door back there. It's old-timey.

Shagging my shag, baby. This guy, I don't want to play the clip. I mean, it's so boring. He is such a boring speaker. Well, he's a Jehovah's Witness. I could not believe how bland and lame his sermon was. And he's all over the place. He is just absolutely everywhere in this thing.

He starts talking about modesty and how it's not sound of mind. And then he goes on and on. What does he mean by that? Not sound of mind? Does it mean you're crazy if you wear tight drawers? He says it's not appropriate. There's really nothing else to say. Now you want to be in your home, in your room

and wear stuff like that. That's your business. But don't go out like that and say you worship the true God. Why would God care how... So God gave me skin that is exactly skin tight. Yeah. Right? Well, he gave you a little extra.

There's a little... Well, I'm growing it. You know, like I'm basically a skin farm is what I am. You are. This is... What this is, Cecil, is step one of a harvesting program. The doctors come to you late at night and they're like, we just had a guy who had severe road rash. We need a part of your skin, Tom.

No problem. Take a little off the sides. It's fine. It's fine. Good. Burns over 90% of his body. I've got him covered. Literally.

Literally. I actually, it means nothing. It's basically, to me, it's a scraped elbow at that point. Exactly, yeah. But yeah, he's saying, when he says like, and he has a weird thing against Spanx, too. And I don't think he understands Spanx. I think he's saying, I think he's trying to say spandex, but he doesn't know what he's talking about. I think so, too, because he says Spanx leggings?

Yeah. And I thought Spanx weren't leggings. Yeah. But maybe I'm wrong. I think he's mixing, he's mixing up the two, I think, somehow. He's confused. Confusing the two in some way. But yeah, he says, this is what I like.

He says, what's happened now is that it's really caught on more. The tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants. It's like, wait, the tight pants are better known as tight pants. You know, like that tiger, better known as a tiger.

This is my friend Bill, a.k.a. Bill. Bill is an accountant, also known as a accountant. What are you talking about? It's so weird. That's the repeat of everything he says. And then he just says, they are tight all the way down to the ankles. As if, like, if they bow out. Yeah, I know.

What if they were, like, bell bottoms? That's what I was going to call them, butterfly pants. Butterfly pants needs to be a thing. Butterfly pants would be awesome. Yes, what if they were butterfly pants? They're made of real butterflies. Way to kill so many monarchs just for one pair of pants. And they're not even very good.

You clap your hands, your pants just disappear. They just fly away. You're like, fuck it, I killed 10,000. They're in danger. Doesn't mean shit to me. I don't care. Yeah, this is another be afraid, be ashamed of your body thing. This is just like what we talked about earlier

with Pat Robertson. It's be ashamed of your body. Be ashamed that you have this body and you've got to cover it up. If you want to do it at home, that's fine. But once you go outside, God will hate you if you don't. Yeah. Well, God doesn't care what goes on in your house

because he can't see through your walls. Very difficult. That's why you get like, I don't know. My walls are all made out of lead. Yeah. Yeah. I have, cause God is like, like God is like gamma radiation.

Yeah, sure. You know, he can't see through that shit. It's like, it's fucking so radiation. Yeah, sure. He can't see through that shit. It's fucking so crazy. Superman, he can only see through some stuff, not everything. God damn it, I can't see through suburban tract house construction. Fuck. Wait. Is that God creeping around my window again?

Get out of here, God. I am saying nothing. Are you wearing them tight pants? And not the ones that bow out at the bottoms. I'm talking about the tight pants all the way down. Tight pants. Don't show me the shape of your calves. Dude, I got cankles.

What difference does it make? You're going to have to sacrifice those calves to me. If the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads. In a spiritual sense, of course. You know, I like this article because I think it asks the questions we're all afraid to ask. Scared Mother asks, is there a ghost inside my child? I don't know. Shake it. See if it comes out. I thought like, well, I mean, if you're religious, don't you all believe there's a ghost inside of you?

Yeah, I think you're right. Like, isn't that like the thing that animates your flesh? Yeah, aren't we all ghosts? That's a really interesting point that hadn't occurred to me. We're all just ghosts walking around in our... You're right. We're all meat puppets, like you said earlier. It just so happened we have a ghost inside of us.

If you're alive, you're just a ghost in waiting, right? Like a pre-ghost. You're a pre-ghost. So scared mother in Virginia Beach, she's concerned about what's happening to their four-year-old son. They're convinced that it's a ghost inside the child. She says he just starts crying hysterically and asking, and I say, what is wrong, Andrew? And he says, why did you let me die in that fire?

And then she asks herself, well, why didn't I, damn it? Oh my God. Stop with the annoying questions and I won't save you next time. And I don't understand the way this is read, the way this is written. I won't save you next time.

And I won't save you next time. It took me a minute. So the way this is read, the way this is written. I won't save you next time. I won't save you next time. It took me a minute. So the way this is written, let me read this out loud and see if you can help me make sense of this. I can't. Truly, because she says, and this is the very next sentence. According to WTVR, U.S. Marine Sergeant Val Lewis died in a bombing explosion October 23, 1983 in Beirut, Lebanon. Yet four-year-old Andrew remembers it as his own death. But then I don't see anything else that would suggest that he remembers this very specific event.

How do they connect this very specific death of this person in Beirut, Lebanon to this four-year-old boy? It sounds like a kid within a fucking imagination and then the parents take it seriously, which fuels it. Yeah. And then they do weird shit like taking the kid to graveyards and like where this dead guy is buried and then, you know, like,

kids play off of that shit. They read your emotions. It's like Clever Hans or whatever, right? All you gotta do is just, they look at how you're looking and then they do this thing. Yeah. It's a horse that knows how to do math.

Exactly. There's ways in which to figure out whether or not human beings continue on after death if this is the case, right? I'm sure there's plenty of ways, blind studies and things that you could do. Sure. A blind test in which to decide whether or not this person's going to do it. But what this person wants is publicity. Exactly. Right?

I mean, if you really did want to get at the heart of this, if I were a parent of a child that were experiencing something like this, I would want to get at the heart of whatever it was. Because I certainly wouldn't want my child just to burst into tears and be like, why did you let me die in that fire? That'd be a little weird. I'd be a little weirded out by that. I can't deny that. It's awkward at the grocery store.

That's a weird tantrum to hear, too, from the kid. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Okay, fine, get the Snickers. But I would want to get to the bottom of it. As a concerned parent, I would want to get to the bottom of it. I would want to get to the bottom of it if it was a niece or a nephew or whatever. I would want to get to the bottom of it. And I don't have a the bottom of it if it was a niece or a nephew or whatever. I would want to get to the bottom of it. And I don't have a lot of sympathy for a family that's going to throw their kid up on television like this

to sort of pimp them out. Well, and that was my next question. Like, how did this end up on TV? Because if this was happening in my house, it would never occur to me to be like, man, this is fucking weird. My fucking four-year-old is having weird tantrums about dead Marines and dying in fires. I should totally call the news station. How would that even work?

Well, it was on the show Ghost Inside My Child. Oh, you know, why didn't I? Yeah. And that Ghost Inside My Child, they go door to door looking for ghosts inside of children. I don't know if you knew this. So she probably didn't have to do a lot. They're very much like Jehovah's Witnesses. Very much, yeah.

Have you heard the bad news? Absolutely. You go to the store, your kid has one tantrum, and they automatically know. It gets back to the Ghost Inside My Child people. Well, they've got Ghost Inside My Child agents posted it. They have ghosts literally in every child. That's it. They don't travel very far.

There's a ghost inside my child. It's just a child. Like, kids are just shitty. Like, that's it. Kids are shitty. That's going to be the next Dissonance Pod quote that people do. Last week it was, nobody sucks dick for the flavor. This week it's, kids are shitty.

Kids are shitty. I have two of them. They're shitty. One of them literally shits himself. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth.

You can't handle the truth. This story comes from Addicting Info. Brian Fisher suggests ethnic cleansing of Native Americans is justified by God. Well, that's kind of an awkward position to put yourself in there, Brian Fisher. Isn't he about like 300 years late for Manifest Destiny? I know, right? I know, right? And the fucking buffalo had it coming, too.

Who's arguing this nowadays? He's arguing like a 400-year-old argument. Go west, young man. Oh, God. Okay. Do you want to hear him? Yeah. No, I don't know.

Yes. Brian Fisher. From a moral standpoint, this is why it was right for the nation of Israel, under God's direction, to come in and displace the Canaanites. They didn't displace them. Displacing is like, hey, you live here now. Not like, hey, you don't live now. That's not displacing.

As a man who displaces a significant volume of water, the water is not gone when I leave. It's just moved. Displaced? I'm going to displace them by bashing their children's heads against these rocks. We displaced their brains.

I displaced the blood volume from their body. Dislocated is very different than displaced, I guess. The Canaanites had been so corrupt, they had been so lapsed into superstition and paganism and idolatry.

Paganism, I would not accuse you of, but idolatry and superstition, I would accuse you of. And sexual immorality and savagery. You know, and God gave him 1400 years. God said to Moses, look, this land is yours, but I'm not going to be able to bring you into this land for another 400 years because, he says, the sin of the Amorites is not yet complete. Who believes this jib jab? Oh, my God. I mean, listen to this garbage.

Honestly, listen to that fucking jib. I know. That is the fucking biggest, giantest pile of fetid dog shit. That is some fucking maggoty fucking goddamn thinking. Oh, God couldn't do it for 400 years. Really? God couldn't do anything? Like, God was like, wait, we got to wait like 400 years.

How do you sell that to somebody? How do you sell that? How do you look at somebody and be like, all right, here's the deal. Cecil, I will give you my house, but you have to wait 400 years. What the fuck? That's a meaningless thing to say. I know you're fucking my wife, but I'm going to wait 50 years to confront you. Stop it.

In 50 years. In 50 years. Hey, hey, in 2064, take your dick out. Hey, in 2064, take your dick out. God says, look, I'm going to be patient with the Amorite people for 400 years. And if they continue to sin at the rate that they're sinning, every time they sin, they're putting a little more slop in the slop bucket. And if they keep doing that, eventually the slop bucket's going to get full,

and I'm going to have to empty out that slop bucket. What's the sin exchange rate for slop? Right? Like, how much slop's in the bucket? Like, God looks over at the slop bucket like, there's still room. Yeah, let him keep sinning. You guys are still sinning. Should we intervene?

Should we help? Should we give him a fucking kind word? Maybe I could show up in person and be like, hey, stop doing it now. Just watch the slop bucket. Just keep an eye on the old slopper. That's our barometer over there is a slop bucket. And this may even be a part of American history when we think about the moral right for the nation

and the peoples that God brought into this land to exercise sovereign control over this land. Part of that equation, again, I just suggest this to you for your thinking, part of that equation may have to do with the immorality of those nations that were exercising sovereign control over this land at the time. What do you even say to that? Yeah, it was totally awesome when those people that lived here first and didn't do anything to anybody other than them like yeah it was cool when they like when europeans showed up and enslaved them and you know butchered them by the hundreds of thousands

and brought with them fucking pestilence and rape and torture and kidnapping and forced slavery and murder. That was a moral action condoned by a just God. If that's the, I mean, honestly, if that's the answer, it's like, even if God were real, I would have no interest. Not whatsoever. I'd be like, that's a dude I'm not. Well, it's just story after story of that. Because clearly there's an analog in the Bible that he's referring to. Exactly. So there's an analog in the Bible where God says, I don't give a fuck about you people.

And he does it again and again and again and again. Why could, how in the world would you be able to worship a God like that? Why would Brian Fisher come, like you said, like why would he come to this argument now? Like what is the pressing need to address this issue? He's talking, when he- Did he lose money at a casino?

Oh no. Has he made me mad? He's playing the big bingo there and he lost. The thing I think he's trying to loop back on, we didn't get that far because there's not enough of the show here that's played for it. But I think he's trying to loop back. God is going to judge us in the same way that he judged the Indians in some way, I guess. But doesn't that assume that there's going to be a conquering third power that's going to swing in? That's God's nuts.

Oh, yeah. Well, I didn't think about it that way. Big swinging ball. No, now that you put it that way. His giant wrecking ball-sized scrotum is going to come and smash the United States. It'll be naked God swinging his- T-bag in the world. Like a fucking slovenly hillbilly Miley Cyrus.

Hey, here I come. Oh, man, it's God on a wrecking ball. It's going to take a really long time with just one wrecking ball. His four horsemen are all coon dogs. Come on, war, pestilence, death, yamming. Come on, boys. Go get them. Get that bird.

Get that bird. Come on, boys! Go get him! Get that bird! Get that bird! Dressed in nothing but a schoonking cap and a smile, God smote the Americans for, oh, whatever. Who fucking cares? He teabagged the entire United States, dropped his balls right on the Capitol.

So we want to thank, we got a ton of new patrons. We want to thank all of you. Thank you so much. We got just a bunch of brand new patrons this week. So we want to thank Corey, DA, Alex, Jeremy, Andre, Ayami, Stephen, Tim, Debzilla, Brendan, Reed, Andre C, Jose, Lisa, and Stephan H. Thank you all so much. We really appreciate all the donations to the show. It really makes us

feel good that people want to hear our stuff and that they go out of their way to give us their hard-earned dollars. It's really wonderful, so thank you all. Thanks to all our patrons. Yeah, absolutely. You know, what that money does is it helps us get to events like Skepticon, which we're going to in just a couple of weeks. Next week? Next week.

Next week we're going to. So it helps bring us to Skepticon. It helps us with our donation and charity work that we're doing. And it helps fill my massive belly full of hot wings. So thank you. One thing we were thinking about doing, and we wanted to ask the patrons and other people, too. We're thinking about putting together a very short show, maybe 20 to 30 minutes long, once a month possibly, that would be a patron-only release. So we would release it only on Patreon, and it would probably be a single-topic show.

So we would pick a single topic and talk about that single topic for 20 or so minutes, we're hoping. If people would be interested in that, let us know. Send us an email and say, hey, you know, I'm a patron and I really would be interested in an extra bit of content that would be patron only. And then if you're not a patron and you would be interested in it, let us know. We'd really like to be, we'd really like to sort of know what to do before we do it. We don't want to put a lot of work into something that isn't well received. So, and we know that the audience will get in contact with us. So send us a message and let us know what you think. We got a message from a bunch of people talking about Skepticon. A couple of people had sent us messages about being at Skepticon. They're going to be at Skepticon. We're going to be there. We're going to come driving in. We're actually going to be driving down, Tom and I, with David from My Book of Mormon.

Yep. We're going to rent an F-350, I think, because we're going to need something that can really handle a serious cargo. We're going to get one of those double-bladed helicopters to take us down there. No, but we're going to be driving down there with David from My Book of Mormon. So we're going to be traveling down there together. So we'll be seeing people when we show up. When we go to a bar, we're not sure where the bars are or what's going on there. But when we get to a bar that night, probably on Friday, we will tweet out. We'll probably find out where people are going, go there, and then

tweet out. So pay attention to the Twitter feed on Friday night and on Saturday night. We'll be tweeting where we're at. And if people are interested and want to come hang out with us, we're more than happy to have a beer with you and chat. So come on by and see us when we're at Skepticon. Absolutely. We got a message from Donna Down Under, Tom, and it's pretty funny. It says, hey, dudes, my girlfriend heard me singing the following. I had to explain what a glory hole was, and she thought I was nuts.

Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. I hate and love you guys i have that effect on a lot of different people it turns out pretty standard actually uh so this is this is from bradford and bradford says uh there is one good thing about uh the ass hats wrapping halloween treats in anti-vax blatherings uh now you know where all the unvaccinated people live and you can make it so that your own kids never get to go to those germ farms again. That's awesome.

I think that's awesome. That's great, yep. We got a message. This is from Pascal's Razor, and this made me laugh. This person was non-religious, but they really weren't looking for a lot of different sort of outlets for that. They wound up getting and picking up some atheist podcasts and sort of working around to going through like hardcore history and sci-fi. And then as Pascal here says,

one day I was surfing through iTunes and stumbled upon a show called Cognitive Dissonance. I figured it was some sort of psychological science project that sounded vaguely interesting, so I grabbed a couple episodes, and then he says he was the devoted listener ever since that. I have no idea why, but thank you very much, Pascal. I always laugh out loud whenever I read anybody came through us because they thought it was a psychological podcast of some sort. I can just imagine the terrible disappointment,

just the crushing. It'd be like being a kid and you open your fucking Christmas present and it's like an Xbox box. With socks in it. Exactly. I was like filled with goodwill underwear.

It's like being followed all day around with a sad trombone. Everything you do is like We got a message. This was actually It's like being followed all day around with a sad trombone. Everything you do is like, womp, womp. We got a message. This was actually, really was a great article that was sent to us. This is from John, and John said the assisted suicide we talked about last week, there was an article printed on Patheos blogs about this,

and I just want to quote one piece of this article, and this is about a former Christian is coming to grips with euthanasia, printed on Patheos blogs about this. And I just want to quote one piece of this article. And this is about a former Christian is coming to grips with euthanasia and things like that. And they wrote a story and the story is entitled, Brittany Maynard didn't commit suicide. What we can learn from 9-11's falling man. And I just want to read this one caption. It seems disingenuous to force someone to choose between two ways of dying and then turn on them in judgment for picking the least painful of the two options i think that's great i think that that hits that whole thing right in the head it just it just it is it it sort of severs the whole argument

where there it's not like nobody gets out alive from any of this. Right. But there, there's also the fact that the death is going to be slow and painful or quick and over which one do I want? And they was talking about the falling man, the guy who jumped from, from nine 11. I mean, you see a picture of him. He is pointing his head at the ground,

diving out of the window to die because he knows, he knows this is the last few seconds alive. He's either going to burn to death on the building or he's going to try to jump out of the building and kill himself because he has no way out. There's no good options there. Would you rather that guy burned alive or tried some way in which to stop himself

from suffering in some way? And he chose one option that is a little less painful. Why can't we do the same thing with euthanasia? Why are we so against it? And we talked about last week why we just can't figure out why the people are so gung-ho against it. We got a great image that I'm going to put as the image for this particular episode. This is from Elise and she said, wanted to share this in case you hadn't seen it. In my atheist home, we see two Tyrannosaurus is roaring around an alien spaceship that's landed

as an overhead, an overhead giant comet is about to destroy the atmosphere, wiping out both dinosaurs and evidence of aliens. And this is actually a cutout version of two people praying actually a cut-out version of two people praying over the manger. So it's a silhouette image of two people praying over the manger. And if you look at it right, it looks like a T-Rex. It does. It totally does. It is awesome. It says on the actual meme, it says science versus religion.

Is it a nativity scene or two Tyrannosaurus Rex fighting over a watermelon? I think that is hilarious. It's pretty great. Yeah. It looks great. It's awesome. Is the plural Tyrannosaurus Rex fighting over a watermelon. I think that is hilarious. It's pretty great. It looks great. It's awesome. Is the plural Tyrannosaurus Rex? Tyrannosauri, I think. Or is it Tyrannosaurus Rexi?

Rexi. Tyrannorexi. That's when they don't eat enough. Well, that wraps it up for this show. We are going to have another show later on this week please be in touch with us and let us know what you think about a short patron only episode

and we are going to be releasing probably I think on Thursday if we can because we are going to be in a car all day on Friday with the windows down I hope it warms up for all your sakes. Alright folks,

wish me luck. And we're going to leave you as always with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil

and trouble pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards Psychic healing, crystal balls Bigfoot, yeti, aliens Churches, mosques and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers

Birthers, witches, wizards Vaccine nuts Shaman healers, evangelists Conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata Nonsense Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Outro Music