Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 192: Skepticon

Episode Date: November 24, 2014

                   

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey, you motherfuckers. I'm actually offended. You guys just talked about how people don't suck dick for the flavor. Are you fucking kidding me? My girlfriend loves it. She can't have enough of it. Now, I am specifying just me. Don't fucking go off on one of your little tangents. Anyways, glory hole, you motherfuckers. This is Mike in California.

Peace out. Hey, guys. Melissa from Boston here. I was calling in to say that I love the show and wanted to remark on something from a couple of episodes back. Reference Fat Albert was preaching that there was no life in the rectum, and it actually made me think of this quote by Neil deGrasse Tyson. Within one linear centimeter of your lower colon, there lives and works more bacteria than all humans who have ever been born.

So stick that in your bowl and flush it. Your butt is actually a biome. You guys rock. Glory hole. Hi, this is Emma from Los Angeles. Me and my boyfriend listen to your show and we love you guys. He just called me, though, and told me about an episode

that I haven't listened to yet where you guys state that people do not suck dick because they like the taste of it. And he called in to comment on that. And I'm calling to confirm what he said. And that is, I absolutely love the taste of his cock. And so out of all the stupid things you guys have ever said,

that's probably the stupidest. Because otherwise, you guys fucking rock. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. yeah recording from the ramada oasis at skepticon this is not an actual oasis no it's but this is clearly not an oasis i will argue though that if you look out our window yes there is a facsimile of an oasis behind our room so yeah and i guess like when i think of an oasis i think like you know you're desperate you have no other choices you're

you're nearly dead right you're basically like you see like a mud hole full of elephant shit and you're like water sweet water so yeah i would guess i would no i there's a very nice place i i'm just i'm just being a terrible person oh we missed okay so cognitive dissonance this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome we literally stole the welcome mat from the ramada end we literally stole it so they had one but we were just like fuck it like fuck you can't have one we threw it over to the days in across the street now they're super welcome over there so we're at the top of our game this is the uh recording we are doing obviously at skepticon

we're skepticon what is it skepticon seven seven skeptic i'm looking at my badge here take a look double check i don't want to be giving off bad information it's a seven and it looks like this this dinosaur is going to get the shocker what's going on there but yeah we'll have to take a picture of that and show you guys so here here we are. We're in our hotel room. I'm feeling good. Oh, yeah. We were at the top of our game last night. We met two people who've heard of the show. We apologize to them.

I think we had to buy them. One of them left a bad review on iTunes. After meeting these guys, I revised my previous two star to one star but we wound up rolling into the bedroom about i would say two ish yeah and then tom fell asleep on me no that's not true you would never have survived it's true i guess how would yeah i mean on me what i mean is i mean to say is he fell asleep. Yes. And then we woke up, read stories very quickly. And here we are. Stuffed coffee in our faces.

And this is as good as this show could possibly get. I can't imagine how this could get better. But what the fuck? Let's do it. Let's do this thing. This first story comes from the Huffington Post. fuck like let's do it let's do this thing yeah this first story comes from the hoffington post thousands petitioned to cancel tlc's 19 kids and counting over stars anti-lgbt sentiments and my very first thought when i read this was you know in order to counter this they basically just have

to get their own kids to sign an opposite petition yeah it's their kids and their first cousins, and it's fine. It's it. I mean, that's basically like the state of Rhode Island. I was just going to say, actually, that's like the state of Alabama. You're probably more accurate. I may be more numerically accurate, but I think you beat me there on geography. Certainly geography-wise. I don't even know where they're from.

So shockingly, the Duggars who have more than a dozen and a half children. Yeah. Like you actually could not go to the store. You could not fit all of them in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. You couldn't go to the Jewel or whatever and buy a container of eggs large enough to give them all one egg. To like split eggs. That's crazy, man. Eight, nineteen fucking kids. The wee ones only get half an egg

shockingly this is a uh staunchly conservative couple right and as most staunchly conservative couples they are homophobic right like because that's like that's part of that culture like we got a jillion children and we're kind of awful so like i don't even know why it's surprising like if somebody was like i got 19 kids oh guess at my political affiliation all right uh really and i'm not saying like only large families but i mean like a family like this sure a family that big. 19? 19 is very large. That is all? I mean, that's...

19's like a full classroom at certain colleges. This is like a Genghis Khan level of children. It's like a Sultan level of children. You know, I actually... You look at this and you think, like, can you imagine if this dude was a polygamist? Because that's 19 with one wife. Oh, my gosh.

Like, what if he had, you know, three or three or four wives let's start his own army right he'd basically just be like yeah uh so i've got i don't even know i don't know i'm just kidding are we even naming him at this point he has one of those clickers just to count him every time one comes out of the vagina he's like it's like the guy who counts cars as they go by on the road exactly one of those clicker things that you know a couple of weeks ago we made a joke that like women are not like puppy mills yeah i feel like revising my statement maybe uh i i feel like if we are going to sign some sort of petition every time some conservative weird family on TV does this. You're not going to have any television shows left with conservative weird families.

Because look at what happened with Phil Robertson. He said some hateful stuff. Some people posted. It's funny because on the 76 Kids and Counting or whatever page, they said, post a picture of you as a couple. This kind of blew up a little bit. And they wound up, a bunch of people posted pictures of themselves as same-sex couples. They posted pictures of it.

And they got deleted and banned from the Facebook page. Shocking. Shocking. Who would have seen such a thing coming? I don't know that that's a big deal, to be honest with you. It's a Facebook page. You can't participate with people you don't like. Boo-hoo. Okay, right. Yeah, I know. It's censorship. No, that's a big deal, to be honest with you. It's a Facebook page. You can't participate with people you don't like. Boo-hoo.

Okay, right. Yeah, I know. It's censorship. No, it's a private page. It's a page that they maintain, and I don't care whether or not I get a chance to go tell them that they're jerks about it. Right. But I think that there's plenty of these conservative families on that get these deals with these i mean the palins had their own show the phil robertson i i'm sure if we really look through and started naming i'm sure honey boo-boo's family wasn't yeah they're they they don't come from a blue state and they certainly

probably didn't have uh that sort of i don't know what direction human thumbs vote though they gotta press the ballot. But I don't. They haul it out, just mash at this lamb. They have to have bigger buttons where they're from. But I don't feel like this is a big deal in a lot of ways. And whether or not something comes to this, it may or may not happen. I don't think that that's enough people to sway tlc from doing something like this it's it's a small it's a small viewership their viewership is probably much larger than the

amount of people they had signed this petition well you know 12 500 people say like yeah we didn't like this and it's you know like okay well that's a drop in the bucket when you look at a ratings you know that's 12 500 active people but those people probably weren't watching this show anyway there's probably a lot of that. You know? So it's not like, oh, we lost these viewers. If you signed the petition, would it matter? It wouldn't mean anything.

I don't watch the show. Me too. If I signed it, would it matter? It means nothing. Yeah. It's like saying, that food you don't like and you weren't going to eat, I'm not going to eat that food. Like, okay, well.

Like the eggnog industry is not going out of business because I don't want eggnog. Like they're still chugging along, producing their poisons. Chugging. Chugging. Don't ever use chugging and eggnog in the same sentence. Oh, God. That's, oh. Well, I don't know.

Is that better than sipping it? I don't. You know, like, what's, no. What is the, like, I just, I just think it has, doesn't have the viscosity for it or has too much viscosity for you to chug. Like, I think the sip is what you have to do. I get, but here's the thing. Just by physics, physics has constrained you to the sip.

I feel like though, if you are in a position where you are consuming eggnog you you have clearly your life right so something terrible has happened you know you've been kidnapped by isis walking dead times right yeah it's the road right sure you know i think like this is like a cormac mccarthy style dystopia if you have to have like the only thing you find because it just won't rot yeah you know it's like it's like raining ash every day and like people are like what'd you have baby soup and you're like what'd you have eggnog like would you like some of the baby soup so much please the guy who ate the baby soup is just shaking yeah he's like oh you're a monster all the other villains are like looking at you sideways.

Like one guy like raises his patch to like, shows you the empty socket of his eye. I don't want to get into debate about the climate change, but I will just simply point out that I think in academia, we all agree that the, the, the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that yet. There are no coal mines on Mars.

There's no factories on Mars that I'm aware of. This story comes from Salon.com. House Republicans just passed a bill forbidding scientists from advising the EPA on their own research. How does that work? So basically this is, as it was pointed out um in the house and this is gonna get vetoed like it's not gonna go anywhere this is part of the the long fucking dark that will envelop this country for the next two years as the house like does meaningless shit i would say political points i would say it's a game of tennis but it's really like watching a game of pong, one of those old timey pong games. It's,

it's completely uninteresting and nothing ever happens. Yep. They play tic-tac-toe against each other. Yes. It's absolutely, it's always a tie. Okay. It's so,

so terrible. But this particular story, the problem with it, isn't that it, it's not going to, it's going to go somewhere. The problem is, is that if it were to go somewhere, it is absolutely the worst possible thing you could do.

Yeah, that is kind of the downside of it, that it's unbelievably awful, like that there's no redeeming quality to this. I will say that speaking on the House floor Tuesday, Representative Jim McGovern summed up what was going on. I think this is great. This is directly from the article. Quote, I get it.

You don't like science, he told bill sponsor representative Chris Stewart. And you don't like science that interferes with the interest of your corporate clients. But we need science to protect public health and the environment. That's like good for you, man. I mean, good for calling that shit right out and being like, this is an anti- Science bill. Science bill. Yeah.

You know, and it's part of the larger, like, distrust on the right that is part, like, they foment a distrust of intellectualism. They foment a distrust of any kind of position that is nuanced or difficult to come by. Like, instead, it's like, yeah, we got this down-home, old folksy, good-timing sort of stuff going on. It's like, that's not how the world works. Or even worse, and it hints at it in this article, they, instead of finding scientists

to talk about these things, the scientists who did this research to talk about these things, they find experts in the corporate industry to come in and talk about this research, which clearly has a slant based on that. And you could say that the scientist, of course, has a slant on his own research, clearly. But at the same time, who better to explain their own research?

Have more than one scientist. It's okay to have. That's what journals do, it turns out, is they have more than one scientist look at those things, run it through a peer-reviewed cycle and then approve it so if it gets past that chances are it's certainly gonna pass muster with these fucking toe heads that are up there because they have no idea what they're talking about have you ever heard these people talk to the scientists and blatantly disregard everything they they say just so they could get their talking point in.

It's the most infuriating thing to watch them talk to scientists. I've never seen somebody so willfully ignorant talk to someone and have a conversation that would be outmatched by a particularly intelligent seven-year-old. Right, yeah. Yeah, I know, man. And it's just like they call the scientist to testify or to give some kind of – not because they actually want to hear. Like they're not there to listen. They're never there to listen. They're there to make a speech. And so it's like, okay, I'm going to ostensibly have this hearing or this investigative committee and you're going to show up and you're going to talk and i'm going to give you your 15 minutes that i told you i'd give you

and when you're done with that i'm going to fucking speechify for a long time about you know like well we can't take away anything from the coal industry or everybody in kentucky will die they start saying some stupid shit they say some stupid shit. They'll say, oh, well, you know, it's the same temperature on Mars than it is on Earth. Or they'll mess up some fact. Right. And they'll make some soundbite out of it. And the people who don't know anything better may possibly think it's a true statement. They throw out those weird facts, like the global wobbling thing that they were talking.

Did you see this? There was a guy. He was one of the epas uh i don't know if he's epa or something but he's a climate person one of these climate scientists sure knew his backwards and forwards knew the climate uh debate and knew what the most important things were sat in front of this committee and this person uh one of the senators said well i, I talked to a person and he talked to a learned person, whatever it was, some scientist at some place. And he said that the global temperature models that we use do not include global wobbling. And global wobbling is a real thing that can alter temperature on the Earth. And the scientist admitted, he said, yes, we do not include global wobbling on our models.

And yes, global wobbling can increase or decrease the temperature of the Earth in drastic ways. However, our models are only a couple thousand years. We don't do long-term models. And global wobbling happens over a geologic time span. So it does not happen within the models that we're putting. So we don't factor for it because it's a non-factor. And he could not understand that. He kept saying the same thing over. But global wobbling can affect the climate and can change it a couple degrees. He kept saying the same thing. And the scientists kept responding with, yes, over a long period of time it can.

However, these are very short models. You can't put it in there. It's this willful ignorance, wanting to be right, wanting to show that it's not a factor, that climate change isn't a thing. And they want to make sure that they're right. It's never any sort of trying to get to the bottom of an issue. It's just trying to make sure that they come on top on that issue. It's like it's always been the little women that caught the vision of giving, beginning with Jesus himself, out of their private means.

Some of you little precious ones have that little grocery money some of that little money set aside assure tonight the blessings of god on your family by giving it to god and speaking that say it god this is for blessings on my family this guy's outfit is fucking glorious man so this story comes from the national post um and it looks like he's wearing a bed sheet i i don't understand like this guy is i mean it's like he just for the first time in his life gained vision and the first color was purple and he was just so enamored it was like it was like a guy with like a like a corneal implant like has been blind his whole life and like had like that moment. It was like a guy with a corneal implant has been blind his whole life and had that moment.

It was like they take the bandages off and it's like the fucking birds are singing and it's like, oh, the angels and the shaft of light from the clouds. He's just like, purple. Dress me all in purple. Purple. Or he came from Pleasantville.

Right? Yeah. Right. Ottawa priest who stole more than $asantville. Right? Yeah. Right. Ottawa priest who stole more than $130,000 from church welcomed back after release from jail. He stole a lot more than $130,000. Absolutely. He stole at least $400,000. But it could be up to $1.6 million, Tom.

Minor details, Cecil. So this guy, he's a thief. Right. He's just a thief. Sure. his he stole from his parishioners and not only that like you know what in this in this article they talk about like you know he pleaded guilty to theft and fraud charges um after originally like claiming his innocence right so he's a liar sure you know and he's a fucking thief thief and not only did he steal like he didn't steal from fucking Wally World. Right?

Like he stole directly from the people who had entrusted him or his organization with their hard-earned dollars, probably because he stands in front of the pulpit and preaches the virtue of tithing. Right. Knowing the whole time that he's doing it that he is stealing their tithes. Right. And they welcomed him back. I almost feel in this situation that there's this, there should be someone in there with that fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me sort of mentality. Because at a certain point, don't you think, he clearly did not spend a lot of time in jail. The punishment he received did not make him feel much shame if he's coming back and being welcomed back to the parishioners.

Here I am again. Who's to say he's not going to do it again if he gets put in front of any kind of money? And one of the things that they say in this article, and this may or may not be true, but one of the people suspected that he had addictions. My suspicion is gambling addictions, that he spent this money on. I understand that forgiveness is important, and I get what forgiveness does. It's not for the person you're forgiving,

it's for yourself. You forgive so that you feel better about, and you can move on. Forgiveness isn't a tool for the person who did the crime. Forgiveness is for the victims. Right. And then welcoming, I think, are two totally different things. And it weirds me out that they're willing to just wave goodbye to these hard-earned dollars that they had and welcome him back in such a way. It feels disingenuous. It feels weird. What strikes me, Cecil, is that it's one thing to welcome him back into your community, but to welcome him back into a position of moral authority? Yeah.

He's not coming back and like sitting in the pew he's coming back and he's going to stand i can't even imagine how that would work you know like first of all if i stole four hundred thousand dollars for my job it's not like i could come back later and be like can i have my job back i totally went to jail yeah so i i totes promise i won't do it again like they call you in for your yearly review yeah and they're like okay so uh bob you did a great job uh feel like this year has been a good year for for you for the company want to say thank you for the late hours you put in i know that some of those late hours were spent stealing from the company uh

would prefer on a go forward basis that you steal less this year from us. We actually budgeted... We're not saying you can't steal. No, no, no. We know this is a longer process. We're really looking at this as a long-term goal for you

and for the company. But we did budget less of your stealing in 2015. if you could just keep it under budget yeah that's all we're asking we'll let you know we did get you an admin assistant she can help you launder some of that money and actually do your dry cleaning as well so it's she's good at both uh we really we think the world of you so welcome back i can't imagine getting back to your own organization after you've already embezzled funds from your organization at all, period. But evidently, in for life, it's like a gang.

Yeah. It is nothing I can't do. We're in the thug life over here. Right. Is trusting God important? It's the only thing that gets favor from him. He doesn't respond to pain or tears or heartache. He only responds to being believed.

This story comes from The Guardian. Religious extremism, the main cause of terrorism, according to report. And I'll read the very first opening subheading. Since 2001, religious extremism has overtaken national separatism to become the main driver of terrorist attacks around the world, according to the Global Terrorism Index. So this seems to me to be an article that directly addresses a lot of the concerns that people have had that have leveled criticisms at people like Sam Harris, at us on occasion, at anyone else who's willing or interested in saying, hey, this is a significant cause, a significant motivator, a perpetuator, occasion that anyone else who's willing you know or are interested in saying like hey you know this

is a significant cause a significant motivator a perpetuator of a lot of the violence sure um that that's global and everybody says no no it's always political it's a political you're misunderstanding when when a group of people calls themselves the islamic state and sets up a caliphate and then sweeps over two and a half nations you know they're now in libya so well that's gonna work out yeah i think sure so people will be happy that they're there i'm sure yeah well i mean there's they're grinning ear to ear oh no i can't even yes it is it is tough to pose the heads in a smile. That is a decapitation joke if you missed it. But that's what that was. So the common complaint is that it is political.

And that's what you hear all the time. It's political. It's political. There's political underpinnings. And I'm not going to say that just because it's religious, it's also not political. These things are mutually exclusive because I do not think that they're mutually exclusive. But you have to blame religion for some of it. You've got to say that some of it is their motivation is religious.

And some of their actions being taken in this type of insurgency and terrorist activity are based on what their religion says to do to other people and how they should handle that sort of thing. It's all measured out by religion. So maybe it's, even if it doesn't have a 100% backing, the reason why we're doing this is religious, yes, we're doing it for political power, yes, we're doing it for regular power, et cetera. But how we're meeting this out, how we're handling this even, is sort of prescribed

by our religion in general. How we're handling captives, how we're handling people who say that they don't believe what we believe. Right. All those things that we're calling people out for. I'm never calling them out for being a political force and taking over that sort of thing. That's what they're doing. Whenever I call them out, I'm always saying, hey, you know, they wound up killing all these people because they said that they were apostates or they said that they were blasphemers.

They're killing them specifically for those reasons. I'm not the one saying it. They're the one saying it. Some of these Pew research polls show that when you ask people questions about Islam and you ask them some really seriously bad questions, such as should you kill people that leave the religion? You'll see these Pew polls come back with lots of people, not people in ISIS, just people in a country will say things like, I agree with stoning people. I agree with adulterers getting killed. I agree with women being imprisoned for rape. I agree with killing apostates. These aren't people that are religious fundamentalists.

These are just people who live in a country that happen to be a large portion of the population. Right. It's interesting, too, that you take a look at this and you notice the fucking hockey stick graph. And it's like, welcome to 2001, man. I mean, like, what happened? Let's see. What can we think of that happened around then? You know, it's so obvious that our war on terror

went about as well as our war on drugs. Yeah. You know, it's like we're really bad at actually declaring war on ideas, mostly because ideas don't do good at being warred against. It turns out, like, you can't drop a bomb on an idea. For some reason, America can't figure that out. We're just like, ah, we got big bombs. We can't drone strike our cocaine.

It's not a thing you can do. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. This story comes from the Raw story. Catholic leaders in St. Paul hid evidence

of priest child porn collection from police, but only for 16 years. This story nearly didn't make the cut. They only hid the evidence. If it's less than two decades, I really am like, hey, they could still turn it over at any minute. Sure, yeah. Maybe they just didn't get around to it. I hear they're very busy, so it could be like, oh, did we turn in that priest's child porn collection to the police yet? It'll take like 10 minutes to make a call.

Oh, no. No, we're too busy. We'll get to it next 16 years. To explain how long ago this was, this child porn collection was on videotape. I know. It was on VHS. There are people who don't even know what a videotape is. They don't know that you had to rewind your porn in the back in those days you couldn't scrub it you couldn't just put a right a thing on it and click forward no no no you had to of course watch

and fast forward it and that like that's even creepier kind of because that means he had to physically get that tape from somebody. Yeah, no, yeah. Like, he had to, like, meet somebody and be like, hey, man, do you have that child pornography I was looking for? Why, yes, I do. I have it on this video cassette. In my trench coat. Yeah.

And the fact is, you're right, he uh this this chat look god damn what are they doing out there it's fucking like construction like we may as well like record an ad against gremlins and it's funny it's like all centered right around our door it's like whatever is going on uh the the the idea that he not only has uh the child porn on a videotape, but then he also has the... It's like when you got caught with porn when you were a kid and you just immediately deny it. That's not mine.

Right. It was in your room. Not mine. I don't know where it came from. The porn fairy left it. Isn't that yours? I thought... I kind of thought it was rude you left it in my room,

to be honest. He also has a videotape. And it's funny, too, because you said he has to physically have somebody give him that tape. It's not like you can record off of TV naked boys playing basketball. That's not a thing. That's not a channel. That's not an Olympic game. It's not part of FIBA.

No matter what, that's not a thing that's sponsored by anything else. So that's a pickup game somewhere. It's skins versus skins. We're both going to the same place. But the fact is that little kids were running around, flopping around. Right. Dangerous game of basketball, flopping around. Right. Dangerous game of basketball, in my opinion. That's a terrible way to play basketball.

It's not the only thing dribbling, I'll tell you that. The thing is, when you pass the ball, you normally pass it to center mass. Right. But if it goes a little low, and you miss, it's a big fucking ball hitting a pair of little balls. Right. That's never good. Plus, if I'm running around, I want a little bit of support there like i don't want to be just like who am i yeah yeah right it's it's like a newton's cradle

i was still like you know i i can't imagine this priest though like with his video cassettes like being mad that he hasn't rewound him you know like he's he pops him in he's got his fucking box of tissues he's got himself all ready he's like i am going to now masturbate to child oh i gotta rewind this thing he's gotta put it he's one of those little car rewinders underneath he leaves it on his in his car to like melt he's like oh no every few minutes it's adjusting the tracking tracking what the fuck so funny there's somebody listening to you doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about I know

they think that the floppy disk symbol is actually a save symbol they have no idea that that actually was a thing yeah there was a floppy disk thing I'm amazed that they did not do anything about it and at the same time completely not amazed they did nothing about it well they did not do anything about it and at the same time completely not amazed that they did nothing

about it. Well, they did. They threw it away as porn. They said they did. Yeah, they treated them like a like you found your kids porn collection. It's exactly what they did. They're like, you really shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry. I'll apologize for him.

Can you not look at child like wouldn't you be immediately worried like you're not well like even if even if you weren't going to call the cops if i found if i found out like let's just say i was happen to you pass your ipad over to me and i've and you say go ahead and look it up on my ipad and i click and i look it up on your ipad and it happens to have a it goes to kiddie porn bangers or something or whatever. I don't know any kiddie porn sites proving that I do not watch kiddie porn. Right. But it happens to go to some weird site.

I would, I think I would question you about that. That's a weird thing that I, I mean, if it went to like a website that was like anal fisting or something, I wouldn't question you because that's too consenting adults. But if it's anal fisting with kids, it'd be like a website that was like anal fisting or something i wouldn't question you because that's too consenting adults but if it's anal fisting with kids you'll be like a little different but i i feel i feel uh that they should have gone forward with something they just stopped they said oh well we made them throw it away and then that's it now that's not enough that's not enough for anybody else in the world right how was it enough for you yeah if you're not going to call the cops like at least i mean that's what that's the first and only thing you should do is be like

this is this is grossly illegal we need to call the police you're you're you know you're perpetuating the victimization of children that's what you're doing you're helping to create a financial market some help or something at the very least even if that's the fucking bottom thing even if you don't throw him under the bus to get him jailed get him some help right get him a counselor get him a somebody that has psychological training and i don't want to see a spiritual director in there right i want to see a real goddamn counselor and have proof that you did it and make sure that he's maybe i'll forgive you for that. Maybe. But he can't be in a position ever to deal with kids.

That's it. Suddenly he's... I mean, you give him a position to cook the books, I guess, then. Why can't you be... The problem is you can't be fired from that job. I know. You know what I mean? It's like they're trying to be fired. They're doing their best.

They're giving it hell. I'll tell you what. They're like that Seinfeld. Yeah, where he wears Babe Ruth's jersey and gets a meatball on it. Oh, yeah, it's Babe Ruth's jersey. Oh, yeah, it's child pornography. Oh, yeah, that's all it is.

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heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Try to contain your surprise. Pat Robertson cures a neck injury via text message. Cecil, he's so effective

he surprised even himself he did let's listen to him be sound surprised he's basically the spiritual equivalent of a dog finding his tail in this clip he's just like oh my god what did i do that belongs to me oh man this is the best day ever look at me go this is 700 club pat robertson uh 15 year old michael of madison alab, injured his neck playing a game of touch football. An x-ray was taken at the emergency room. There was a really bad sprain. The pain was quite severe and he couldn't even turn his head. Michael received some physical therapy and muscle relaxers were also prescribed, yet his neck still remained very stiff. Then last month,

his mother was watching the 700 Club when she heard you, Pat, give a word. There's a neck muscle that's been very painful. You've almost had to carry your head at a different angle because of the pain. Put your hand up there on the neck in the name of Jesus healing right now. She quickly texted her son at school with the news. He read the text, claimed the word. Immediately, he was healed. What I don't get is, he said it, she quickly texted, and then he said the words. He claimed the words. Claimed the words. What does that mean? Can't he just claim the words anyway?

I don't know. Can't he just, if he, why does Pat have to be the arbiter of who gets healed? Why is it Pat? If he did it on his own, Pat wouldn't touch him. Yeah, I don't really know like what does claim to the word like that's my word mine i claim that if you lose a word at like say a stadium oh right you can then go as long as you can identify it without them showing it to you right you have to say like what case it was in like the font yeah it was comic sans and the word was fuck knuckle

well speaking of fuck knuckle let's listen to the rest of this clip now she saw it and then they sent the text yeah that's how it's on the telephone a text message and pat rober like, damn, I'm good. Man. On the telephone? I have heard of those, but I didn't think God was on Verizon. Now he's going to ask her what a text is. Healing by social media.

A text is not social media. It's just a medium for transmitting information. If she got it by tweet, then yes. Maybe it was a group text. That it's a social media. Here's what the Bible says. Now get this. If two of you will agree on earth as touching anything that they shall lay, as it will be done for them by my Father

which is in heaven. God is almighty. There's nothing impossible. God's almighty. There's nothing impossible. Well, then why did he give me this stiff neck? Right. Yeah. Because clearly, I got a stiff neck playing touch football. Yeah.

It touched a little hard, I guess. I don't know. That's an aggressive touch. That's an aggressive touch. I'll tell you that much. Was the priest playing? I don't even know. He was 15.

Were they naked? The priest was just like, maybe we can make him stiff. It was naked touch football. Naked touch football. That's what it was. He can heal cancer. It was naked touch football. Naked touch football. He can heal cancer. He can heal leukemia. He can heal arthritis.

He can heal any condition you've got in your body. Then why doesn't he fucking do it? What the fuck is he waiting for? Why doesn't he just get rid of the viruses and bacteria that cause the vast majority of disease? The way God works, I think I've figured this out. Okay. Is you have to get really, really sick. Sure. So that you know that you don't want to be really, really sick. Because it's not something you

would be able to know in the abstract. Like you're onto something. Because I don't know. I've never had leukemia. But if you did, you might not like it, is what you're saying. Yes, I might not, but who knows? Maybe I'll write a heartwarming

new york times bestseller about my experiences having leukemia and the little boy next door who comes over yeah and the warming friendship that a dying man makes with the in that and that will give meaning to his life yeah and yours as well and mine you know and so right we'll have like the the one tier moment and it'll be made into a lifetime movie and then we'll have the one-tier moment, and it'll be made into a Lifetime movie, and then we'll all have been worthwhile. Sure. So I don't want to be cured of terrible illnesses until I've had a chance to suffer for a while. You've got to recognize that it's not a good thing. Now, I think it's important to note that he can cure all the stuff that you can't see, that basically is like he can cure symptoms and stuff that's hidden.

Yeah, like lumps and... But God hates stuff that's hidden. Yeah, like lumps. But God hates people that step on landmines. Yeah. Because those are actually holy landmines. Yeah. And he was putting those there for later. And when you step on them, it's fucking rude. It's like eating his roast beef sandwich out of the fridge. Right.

It's just fucking rude. Yeah. It's like, this is just to say, you have stepped on the landmine that I planted. That I was saving for later. Oh, no. And which I was saving for later. It's the red wheelbarrow. That's awesome.

Forgive me. Your legs are gone. It was so bloody. So bloody. And so ragged of a stump. And so disgusting. Yeah. If that's the case, you're right.

Why not heal something that is perfect? Heal someone's third-degree burns? Right. They just wake up and they're just like, I'm not third-degree burned anymore. Or the acid victims. Yeah, the acid victims. Anything that you can see. Heal one time.

Just one time. Heal in anything at all that you can see. Although, didn't that one woman say that the little fingers started to grow back? Remember this from a few years ago that grew back like the nub of a finger or something? Yeah, yeah. That was the same woman who makes spaghetti, though, I think. I think it was, yeah. Who just wishes more spaghetti to come around.

And he made you, he can fix you. And he just said, would you believe me? So right now, would you please join with us? Wendy and I are going to join hands and we're going to agree together, and I'll ask you to agree with us. Yes. Father, I join hands with my sister in Christ right now in Jesus' name. In Jesus' name. Yes, Father.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, God. Oh, my. Somebody's got a lump. It is a tumor in your abdomen. Put your hand over that area, and that tumor is going down and disappearing. Even as we speak, you'll feel heat. In the name of Jesus, Lord God, a hacking cough is being healed.

There's a fungus in your lung. The Lord has just burned that out. Wendy. There's a lady. You've discovered a lump in your breast, and you're're very scared and the Lord is healing you right now. Just receive that healing. It's not serious. Oh my God.

It's not serious. Oh good. I'll just forestall medical treatment and testing of the lump because that woman on the fucking 700 Club just told me it's not serious. And let's not pretend that only one person could possibly be in that situation right how many people does that how many viewers viewers watch that show what's their age demographic what's their chances of having something some kind of lump they're not giving a time frame so it could have been a lump that they found months ago that they're right that they're not and because they say just just doesn't mean anything right so it could have been months ago that they found it and they're still afraid to go to the doctor but now they're not. Because they say just doesn't mean anything. So it could have been months ago that they found it

and they're still afraid to go to the doctor. But now they're not going to go because they touched it because some jackass on fucking TV said it's healed now. Oh, don't worry, it's not serious. It's not serious, Cecil. Fuck you. You might have just killed someone. There's a possibility you just killed someone.

They certainly lost their fucking tit out of this deal. It's ridiculous. How is this not criminally negligent to make this shit up, to just lie to these people? Because it's not a single person. You're broadcasting it. So you're not specifically saying it to one person. You just happen to be saying it to millions of people who may be taking this to heart.

How about the person who somehow has some weird shit happening with their lungs and now they're not going to go get that checked out because it's been healed by Pat. And I'll tell you what, man, if you've got a fungus in your lungs, like that's crazy serious. Like that's like, hey, remember that lung capacity you used to have?

Might not get that back. Who knows? Perhaps you'll die. Lump on your abdomen. I don't know any really good things that come out of that. I got several lumps on my abdomen. Let me tell you. I Lump on your abdomen. Right. I don't know any really good things that come out of that. Yeah. I got several lumps on my abdomen. Let me tell you.

I just call that my abdomen. I'm just like, oh, I'm just bulbous. That's like every time when I eat a cheeseburger, you can actually see it form a new cell. I don't call it a six-pack. I call it a pound of butter. There you go. It's actually just nubs of butter. It's like little butter rosettes under the skin. There you go. It's actually just nubs of butter. Like little butter rosettes under the skin.

There you go. It's like, oh, that's my Lando Lake right there. That's good. What? The point is that we've got to rewrite the federal government. Now, this is not going to happen overnight. It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today. It could probably take 50 years to turn it around.

But if we stand on the Constitution, then everything else comes together. This story also comes from Right Wing Watch. Louie Gohmert claims Obama and the liberal attack people want violence and mayhem. Are you one of the liberal attack people? I was trained as a liberal attack person i used to have to jump up and bite that arm right that was that was a big fluffy arm that you had to bite and i had to shake my head a lot when i did right and then shook it was yeah it was a very intense regimen of training that i went through to be a liberal attack they like had you like behind like

a door you're like and then they like they got like a conservative like wearing the attack suit it's like it's like a like cut out poster of like rush limbaugh yeah all they had to do is put anybody in an expensive suit yeah and a red tie yeah and a red tie yeah power suit with the red and then they were painted brown sort of had a brown color bronzer on and then i went right after that's it yeah i went right after him attacked him's it. Yeah, I went right after him. Attacked him. So see, so we should listen to this. We should listen. But Gohmert just goes off here. He's talking to Dan Cofall. And this is from Dan Cofall's show.

And he talks about some civil disobedience stuff. It's a little long of a clip, but we think it's worth listening to. But this is, he's talking to Representative Louie Gohmert from Texas. Did you see Senator Coburn's comments today that he, after the president announces this order on immigration, he's saying that civil disobedience and violence is more than likely to occur? I don't anticipate that. You know, the civil disobedience comes from the left. don't anticipate that you know the civil disobedience comes from the left they're the ones that that loot and shoot up and you know uh shoot up stores and do all kinds of things like that the left do they own more guns than the other side i know right like the civil disobedience

come what he's i mean what he's saying and veiling it like oh yeah it's like it's black people that are right do this yeah and the black people are democrats so yeah they're democrats automatically that's that's what he's saying you know you look at the conservative gatherings we even pick up our own trash so they even picked up we even pick up our own trash which we normally leave for the mexicans oh my gosh oh no sorry that's terrible oh no. But it could be that this president is doing all he can to get conservatives who remember the country when presidents didn't exceed their bounds and wish we would go back to those days. It may be enough to make them that angry, but I hope not. I hope there's no violence so that we can do this legally. And the other thing that we need to do is go ahead and file a lawsuit. With this Supreme Court, one case they'll say you got standing.

Another case they'll say you don't. There is no consistency in this court. So you've got to go ahead and try because this could be one where they say, yeah, you're so far outside the bounds of the Constitution, Mr. President. We've got to help bring you in. Yeah. What happened to John Boehner's threat to file a lawsuit?

He fucking didn't go anywhere because he was fucking baseless. That's exactly what happened. It was like, what happened to his threat? Well, it turned out to be an empty threat. Yeah. Yeah. So empty threats are often empty. Well, I think we can still do that.

And that's what I would anticipate. One of the things we can do, but the other is just make it a crime to spend any money. This guy sounds like a fucking drunk grandpa. Every time I hear him speak, I think the man is inebriated and so old he doesn't know how to think anymore. That's how I even come close to being a representative. I was going to say, it's a good thing he's not in a position of incredible authority.

Except that he's in a position of incredible authority. Effectuating the president's illegal promises. And then you put a statue of limitations. Did he call it a statue of limitations? I thought it was a statue of limitations. Like he call it a statue of limitations? I thought it was a statue of limitations. Like just standing there like, that's a beautiful statue. What's that one of?

Oh, that's the statue of limitations. The statue to limitations. Yeah. It's out there far enough that you'll actually get a real justice department instead of the president's largest criminal defense firm in the world. Last question, my friend.

Yeah, because you didn't say anything with the first two. world last question my friend yeah because you didn't say anything with the first two last question my friend is our our republicans in washington concerned about ferguson are we concerned about ferguson yeah well if they're not no right with what i'm really trying to do is stir up some shit yeah clearly they're not yeah and even he said like yeah do i think that's gonna happen no but he's he's like, I don't want to let it go. What I really want to say is, do you think the black people are going to riot? And if so, how much rioting will they do? Maybe they're known for it.

They've done it in the past. Tonight, are they concerned that if there is violence, if he is no-billed, are they concerned that that will spread across the country and lead to maybe even martial law, depending upon how badly the violence spreads? Well, obviously the president and the attorney general have done all they could to help stir up animosity and fuel the fire and getting people angry at police where they shouldn't have.

But then I hope and pray that doesn't happen. It may happen in Ferguson, because obviously they brought in the liberal attack people that just create all the havoc and mayhem they can. But I hope and pray that doesn't spread anywhere else. I'm sure they wanted to. I'm sure that people would love to have the federal government intercede but i just i i would beg conservatives not to get sucked into that trap don't go there

don't go there let's do it legally in the end we will be better off and this administration will be totally exposed for who and what they've been doing. What does any of that mean? Don't you understand that the liberal media or the liberal attack people. Liberal attack people, yeah. Shiny, happy liberal attack people. They suggest you leave immediately. Or what?

You'll release the dogs or the bees or the dogs with bees in their mouth. And when they bark, they shoot bees at you. Well, go ahead. Do your work. When you hear that, it's like, the liberal attack people are coming with the dogs and the bees and the dogs that shoot the bees.

It's like, what are you talking about? You're just saying stuff. And one guy's like, do you think that the violence will spread nationwide and then we'll have martial law? Remember the never martial law we had? Yeah, the time we didn't have martial law like even like during like the the race riots you know during like all of the strife and difficulty that this country has gone through you know through the uh civil rights era

through so many different pieces like the the vietnam war protests through you know all of the different pieces that this country has gone through and all the times we've vehemently disagreed with one another it's never come down to martial law like this is just fear-mongering it's like well what about if if they all rise up and it's like it's not a fucking slave rebellion like i'm not worried about it like they're not gonna like take over my plantation right what the fuck i'm not worried about that shit i don't worry about the violence that other people will inflict randomly upon my person because of a decision made in Washington. I don't even understand where this guy's coming from. It seems like all they're trying to do is just hit a hornet's nest and try to spark something.

It's all this polarization that they have to wind up on top. They have to make sure that they make the other side look bad you hear how he ends we've got to expose them for who they are we've got to expose what are you going to expose the only thing you're going to do is create a narrative that you can sell to your side and then you're going to sell that narrative and everybody's going to believe it because they don't bother to check they don't bother to pay attention and then they immediately just suck this narrative up. We're listening to you speak here.

You're the one saying it. And you clearly come right out and say, we got to, I mean, you might as well just say, we got to, we got to write a different narrative. If they're not buying that one, we'll write a new one. We'll just keep writing them. Just keep going, man. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.

You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Michael Savage. Obama wants to become dictator of the world. And I thought, that's kind of cool. I want to fly.

Like, so if we all get one power, Obama's power is dictator of the world. I'd like to fly. I don't know if you would choose invisibility, Cecil, or flying. Invisibility. Yeah. Yeah. So. Because I'm kind of a perv.

That's the only reason people choose invisibility. They just don't want you to know. They just basically want to live out Porky's. Yeah. That's it. They want to stick their. They want to go to the glory hole? How does that work?

There is a glory hole in Porky's, by the way. Is there? I've actually never seen. There's a glory hole in Porky's. That's awesome. It's really a hole that's in the women's showers that they're looking through. But one of the guys sticks his member through there. I gotcha. Also known as his dick.

So member was a euphemism for penis. Not like a member of his crew. Right. It doesn't actually like. It was his own. It wasn't his members only jacket. And then nobody sucks on it. It turns out Beulah Ballbreaker. That's her name, grabs a hold of it.

She's the tough old gym lady, grabs a hold of it and won't let go, and pulling him, banging him. Oh, gotcha. So it's a sort of slapstick, slapdick, let's call it a slapdick comedy. I gotcha. I sort of set the scene up very nicely. Speaking of slap dick comedies um michael savage can't stop slapping his own dick all the time i hate this guy by the

way this is our first clip i think of using michael savage he has a show uh savage it's not savage love no that's a very different show it's michael savage's he has a podcast not mythbusters either he has he has a show though and it's, and it's crazy straight out of their nuthouse right wing venom is all it is. This guy is a total nut hut. But I want to play a clip from Savage's show, Michael Savage's show. He's talking about Obama becoming the dictator of the world. So what is Obama setting up here? Well, let's deal with this together. First of all, Obama is a young man.

And assuming he does retire at the end of his term in a couple of years, he has a long life ahead of him. You think he's going to retire? You think he's going to take up golf? You think he's going to become a talk show host? Do you think a megalomaniac like him is going to just settle down and write a book? No, he wants to take over the world. He's angling for the job of the United Nations presidency. And so therefore, United Nations presidency? What kind of power does the United Nations presidency have? I don't think any megalomaniac would be satisfied with that type of power. That's the thing. It's like he's angling for the job of United Nations presidency so he can be impotent. Like, really?

Like, what the fuck? I mean, like. This is clearly not in the megalomaniac handbook. Right. He's taking this right out of the pages. I'm curious what step two is because that's step one is like step down from your current position of authority into a position of lesser authority. You actually have power and become a figurehead. Great.

Oh, well done. Every speech that he gives, you must listen to it through the ears of the massive populations of Muslims and Africans in the world. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive, by the way. There's plenty of Africans that are Muslims. Why is he singling out the Africans? Well, it's the Africans because it's Barack Hussein Obama. Oh, right. Who came from Kenya.

Kenya or whatever. Right. Yeah, I forgot about that. And understand that Obama is speaking to them. He's not speaking to you. In fact, he's condemning you. He told you your election didn't count. He said that those of you who voted really don't represent America. So he's not going to listen to you. He told you your election didn't count. He said that those of you who voted really don't represent America. So he's not going to listen to you. This guy sounds like the kind of guy you

would ask to fix your alternator in your car. Yeah, right. Doesn't he have that set tone of voice of somebody who's trying to tell you that not only do you have to fix the alternator, but the battery shot too. He is speaking to another audience. He marches to a different drummer. And my friends, if you look at it from the point of view of what i'm describing to you today you'll say hey i never heard that before which you haven't and number two it'll all fall in place for you obama wants to become dictator of the world i don't know how that what's the progression? United Nations president to dictator of the world. Dictating the world. Hello, world. It's me, your president.

Maybe he's dictating the world. Oh, there you go. So dictation. Take a dictation, honey. Hang on. Slaps him on the ass. Tells him to go make a pot of coffee. You walk into your office.

You hand your secretary your hat. You and obama your hat and your coat i want to see that report on my desk in 10 minutes after he leaves the presidency so he's crushing our military debauling our police changing the laws so that we have to defend ourselves and can't count on the government to defend us from the riots that are coming. And all with an intent to run the United Nations as the world king, king of the world. Wait, it was a dictator before. Which is it going to be? Well, if it goes on, he'll become emperor and then czar of the world. And then he'll eventually become Jesus.

Right. And then God. Well, the Holy Ghost comes in there, too, somewhere. I don't know exactly how. Maybe he transitions from emperor to Holy Ghost, then Jesus, then God. That's probably how that goes. Is God the limit? No.

Then he'll become God's God. He'll become the God of the gods. God of God. God's God. Barack Obama's got plans, man. He does. The thing is, he's ambitious. And that's a good thing.

It's okay that he's ambitious. It's fine. Yeah. You know? I mean, he's an up-and-coming young man. What the fuck is wrong with this man? King of the world man is he gonna stand on the titanic as it goes down and hold his arms outstretched he's gonna die in the middle of the fucking frozen ocean like because he won't get on michelle obama's hand it's on a door he breathes his last breath. Right. Don't forget Barack.

I'm frozen. Don't forget. We could have both fit on the door. Even though that's what she says, to be honest with you. Who cares? I don't know. We could have both fit on the door, though. Just saying. We didn't really try.

Is there any way I could get on there with you? No, there's not enough room. There's clearly enough room up there. Listen, I'm not actually asking. I'm saying I'm a lot stronger than you michelle obama i'm going to push you off this door there's so many guys have flipped over those inflatable rafts just thinking no why can't they flip over that door i don't get it ridiculous well you don't have a bottom of the pool that's true yeah you don't have a thing yeah it's a lot harder get the that you need that you need yeah

so obama's going to be dictator of the world. And I, for one, look forward to our Kenyan-born overlord. So I think that's... What is he going to do as dictator of the world? Well, he'll do all the same things that the United Nations is able to accomplish now. Nothing. But he'll do it unilaterally. Oh, yeah. Sure.

So he'll be able to make himself a peanut butter sandwich unilaterally. he'll be able to make himself a peanut butter sandwich unilaterally. Would it be, it'd be awesome if he became the UN president and countries just started giving up their sovereignty to the, to the UN then. Right. They just, the president looks and says,

there's nothing I can do better than Barack Obama. The guy who clearly didn't really act for the last six years in America, who I guess tore the teeth out of the military. I didn't realize that. You didn't notice? I didn't really act for the last six years in america who i guess tore the teeth out of the military i didn't realize that you didn't know that i mean they're only spending billions of dollars on fucking uh on airplanes we don't need right yeah but he gave away all of our missiles and weapons we don't all we have left is is like one taser he gave him to like some guy in uganda right that's it just he has no idea what to do with him and the guy's not even like a leader of anything right it's all quite heavy it's just in his farm field yeah That's it. And he has no idea what to do with them all. And the guy's not even like a leader of anything. Right.

He's just a dude. It's all quite heavy. It's just in his farm field. I don't, this doesn't even fit. I'd much rather have a corn. This is, much of this is terribly radioactive. Nobody's going to give up their sovereignty because he's not a very effective leader here. I know. Right.

It's like, this is the same guy. I love when they're like you know you just wait and it's like we're almost out of time for your crazy conspiracies to come true i am looking forward really looking forward to when he's like when he's out of office yeah i can't wait to review all the crazy shit people said would happen yeah and none of it has come true let's start going through our old episodes looking looking for those particular Barack Obama stories and see what it is that people said, because it'll be like,

it'll be like the stories that we do at the beginning of the year, talking about the previous year's predictions. Yeah. It's, it's very similar. Yeah. I, Michael Savage,

this is clearly not the most hateful thing he's ever said. It's a stupid thing, which is why we're talking about it. But if you ever get a chance to listen to that guy's stuff, my goodness, it is just absolutely awful. Just a bag of assholes. He is a real, real douchebag. So we want to thank our newest patrons, of course. We want to thank all our patrons because we love that our patrons give us their hard-earned dollars we appreciate every single uh cent that all of you

give us but we want to thank our newest patrons derrick ryan and robin donna grant robin mitch jeff and juan thank you all so much it is it just warms our heart that people uh will give us their hard-earned dollars uh to make this show So you make this show possible, and we thank you very much. It brings us to things like Skepticon. It puts gas in the car on the way down here and food in our massive, massive bellies, including, incidentally, pecan pie Pringles. Oh, yeah, those were not a thing. That turns out to be one of Cecil's worst decisions, which is actually saying something. Like when you're categorizing Cecil's bad decisions, which is actually saying something. Like when you're categorizing

Cecil's bad decisions. Yeah, when you're digging that deep. They had this weird fake maple flavor when you first put them in your mouth. And then they went to the dehydrated potato flavor right afterwards. And it felt like you were short-circuiting your face. I actually didn't mind the fake maple flavor. I was was like i've had fake maple shit before that's

worse like i've you know i've drizzled you know pounds of that on my own girth you know on accident yeah you know but like the weird you're right like it's just not the potato and that don't get along like but potatoes and sour cream sure sour cream and onion chips okay i got you but would you ever be like oh man i made baked potatoes let's put some maple syrup on them i don't know that i would i wouldn't do that i mean maybe if i i mean if i was desperate like if i hadn't eaten in like 30 or 40 minutes you know so it's like really yeah no yeah if it was dire right yeah then i might do it jimmy john's guys caught in a snowstorm or something yeah right oh no i Oh, no. I mean, it's like, I mean, it would have to be a really serious, like, meteorological event.

Sure. You know, like, the sun came up. Literal meteors. Yeah. We're not talking about meteorological. We're talking about meteors. No, I mean, I'm talking like, you know, the sun came up that day. And so I was like, oh, I got to put maple syrup on my potatoes.

You know. We got a message from Ulrich. We got a message from Ulrich, and Ulrich wanted to ask if we would charge to insert a 30-second advertisement for the BC Humanist Association. That's the British Columbia Humanist Association. And we said no, we wouldn't charge him because we think that it's great that people join Humanist Association. So we're going to play a short advertisement for Ulrich for the BC Humanist Association, and you can find a link to them on this week's show notes, 192. What is secular humanism? Critical thinking.

Knowledge is freedom. Freedom from ignorance and its offspring, fear. The BC Humanist Association has been active in the Vancouver area for over 25 years. We offer a friendly and welcoming place to make new friends, as well as free educational lectures. We invite you to join us any Sunday at 10 a.m. in the Oak Ridge Senior Center. Please visit our website for more details, bchumanist.ca.

We also wanted to address, too, while we're doing this, we also wanted to address, we are getting a lot of requests, a very lot of requests for GoFundMe pages. Tons of people are sending in GoFundMes. We get six or seven a week. And while we want people to get help, at the same time, this many GoFundMes dilute the goodwill in a lot of ways of a lot of people. And we're going to make a policy now. And we apologize. We hope that you do find the

money that you need. And we don't want you to not find that money. But because we're getting so many requests, we can't fill them all. We're just not going to be doing any more GoFundMe pages for people. We just can't do it and be fair about it. And so we feel like if we can't be fair about it and we've got to pick and choose, then we're just not going to do it. Yeah, please don't be offended. I hope nobody's looking back and like, well, you did it for so-and-so. We try to do our best to enable people who have good causes and use what small voice we have to push those causes forward.

But it's just not practical to do all of them. We would love it if it was. We would. If it was possible, we would. But, you know, we've chosen to put our efforts, our charitable efforts towards things like the Freedom from Religion Foundation this year. That's a push for us. The foundation beyond belief. I'm sorry. The foundation beyond belief is a push for us. The Kiva loans that we've done, that's a push for us. We just need to be a little more focused on how we handle our charitable requests. And one thing that you can do, you can always do, is you can post them to our Facebook page and see if that gets you any kind of traction. So if you have a GoFundMe and you think you might be able to find some people who might want to donate,

our listeners have shown that they are very generous. So if you want to post that on our Facebook page as a post of your own, people may respond to that. So that may be an avenue for you, but we can't, because there's so many requests, we just can't get to them all. We want to apologize to Esme for playing her voicemail.

Oh, I feel bad. I guess we didn't realize that that was, we thought it was funny. We thought she was being endearing, but she was very embarrassed by it. So we want to apologize to Esme for playing her voicemail. Oh, I feel bad. Realized that that was, we thought it was funny. We thought she was being endearing, but she was very embarrassed by it. So we want to apologize to Esme. If you call us, all you have to do is say, please play or please don't play my message. Actually, don't say, please play. We're going to assume if you leave us a message that it's okay to play that message unless

you otherwise tell us. And Esme, we played the message because we loved the message. We thought it was great. We laughed, you know, and not in a meanspirited way but we laughed when we listened to it together we thought it was a lot of fun so please don't take offense and don't stop calling us if you want to call us you can call us esme don't hide from us you can't hide you you can't resist but we're sorry if we embarrassed you uh we got a message from Nick who showed us that in Australia, there is a cave. And this cave has what they call it.

It's a different name, but they have a plaque in it called Glory Hole Cave. Yeah, that's pretty terrific. There's a whole Wikipedia page on it. They're called the yarangal billy clit caves i think i totally nailed that i feel like you hit that on the head i mean are you a native speaker i am a native speaker of australia wow killed it man so i want to put a link to that on this episode show notes episode 192 you can find it there but it's pretty funny there's a giant giant hole that leads down here i'll tell you what you've got to be one of those ettins from the lord of the rings in order to fill that hole this is from when god fucked

the earth yeah that's what god was like going all american pie god just went in the back door on mother nature we got a message from Kyle and Kyle said, there's a long email that Kyle left. And Kyle said he was listening to episode seven. And we got into a conversation about the Norway massacre. And I said something along the lines of that. There's a lot of political underpinnings to terrorist things. And he's comparing it to how we're talking about ISIS today.

He's saying, have you changed your minds? Is it a switched position between episode seven, which at this point I think is three years ago, and now? And how do you come to terms with this what seems to be cognitive dissonance or some sort of conflict in your own thoughts and my feeling on this and i'm gonna let tom respond to this because i think tom agreed with me at this point at this point when i mentioned it tom sometimes agrees with me blindly i just say something and he says yes because he's not listening what that happens a lot he may or may not have agreed with me on this case.

Kyle says he did, but again, might have just been just for show. But I said that then, and I think I still stand by it, and I don't know that it's a complete flip and reversal, but I think that the terrorism that is happening now, they are, we are doing this because of this Islamic reason. There's reasons based in the religion that they're doing the things that they're doing and also going about it in the way they're going about it. The stuff that was happening then was not as – it wasn't a religious – it might have been a religious underpinning, but it was a political reason. And so I clearly think that there are some, again, the 9-11 terror attacks, there's religious things going on there. But the full motivation is clearly not religious because they came out and said, we did this because of X, Y, and Z. Saudi bases, we didn't want the United States over here, those sorts of things. They came out and said, support of Israel. They came out and said, this is why we did it.

They didn't—and while they killed themselves in a suicide attack, which is consistent with some of their cherry-picked Islamic teachings, it's not necessarily 100% religious. And so I've got to—you've got to make that concession. And I still say the same, I said the same thing today. There is clearly political motivations behind some of these things that they're doing, but the things that they're saying that we're calling them out for, those are religious things. Those are the religious underpinnings or religious actions that they're taking.

Right, and we didn't even begin discussing ISIS when ISIS first started rolling through and taking over because, you know, to me, I was not super clear on exactly what their motivations were. You know, we really only began discussing ISIS on the show once they started coming out and really being very aggressive about you know we are doing this for this reason like we are capturing these women and using them as sex slaves and converting them to islam yeah oh yeah because they are devil worshipers and they are less than yeah we are you know like the the things that we've covered have been very specific stories but i want to i want to address the idea too that um you know like we we talked about the the brevik

murder we talked about 9-11 we've talked about other things on the show and they they do all have a religious element to them sure and i don't think that those acts would be possible without the religious element i don't think you can motivate 19 people to take their own lives um in that way without a religious element but you have you have two really disparate examples and i think also you know personally my opinions have changed yeah that happens my opinion on this has changed i think that you know if somebody were to say like well it was it was 9-11 was in part because of the united states support of israel my next question would be well why does the united states support israel and i know that some of, but not all, but some of that answer is because, you know,

a lot of the Christian fundamentalists who are in power look at Israel as a religious symbol, you know, that they want to support so that they can bring about, you know, their dominionist, end-of-the the world apocalyptic bullshit. So religion plays into all of these world events. It's just a matter of degree. And I think that I would, at this point in my life, attribute more of it than I would have three years ago. I think if I were to look at that same event now, I may be more critical of it now than

I was three years ago. I think that there's something to be said about being inundated with these stories constantly and following this kind of news. You almost expect it now. And so maybe our views are becoming more biased. I think that that's a perfectly reasonable thing to think. Yeah. And it may be because we're inundating ourselves week after week, sometimes twice a week, with really shitty news stories about people that are religious. And suddenly we start seeing all the bad things that can happen and pop up about this. My positions have changed a lot over the years on a lot of different things.

And I think that that's a virtue. That's certainly not a downside. And I will definitely concede that if I'm being honest with myself, I have become much more hardline about my stance on a lot of these subjects than I used to. Much more hardline. And I think that I absolutely look at the world through a lens that is tinted as a result of, honestly, of doing this show.

It's like when we did the movie review show. I used to love going to watch movies. Now I don't really even like movies anymore. You change over time when you have an experience. Sure. And I used to like you. Yeah. I mean, we used to be friends.

Kind of. When that happened. Now it's barely tolerating. So we got a message from David. David sent us a message from the UK, and he said, check out this restaurant opening in London. Someone beat you to it, lads.

And it's a cereal cafe. Someone's actually doing it. Now, if we go to QED eventually, we've got it. I hope this place is still open. Oh, my God. I hope it is, too. This would be we got to go to QED just to go to a cereal restaurant. That would be amazeballs.

I don't even care if we see any of the conference or meet anyone. I want to try all the weird fucking cereal they have in the UK, too. Like the weird shit you'd never... I don't know what that is. Like Hagiso's? Yeah. That's terrible. I could eat more than two boxes of those.

What do you use instead of milk? Polite fruit curlies or something. Stiff upper lips. Curlies or something. Stiff upper lips. Now with more Cheerio. Cheerio. That's good.

We got a message. Someone said that they heard the perhaps their favorite 15 minutes of podcasting ever when we did our purity balls episode. And we talked about the insertion of explosives into jihadi anuses and then the uh crazy papa new guinea wackaloons who are making penis soup and he's this person alex sent us a message with a link on it to an image that is cock flavored soup mix so funny it looks great that cock looks great. That cock looks erect. How do you not buy all of the packets of this? I would send them to everybody. These would be stocking stuffers. I was going to say the exact same thing. I would send

this to everyone I knew as a present. I actually stir my soup with my cock so all soup that I make is cock flavored. But because of the size of your cock, it's like homeopathy. We got a message. I'm going to keep the immersion blender away from there, though. I'll tell you what.

Used to be better hung. We got a message from Catholics against in vitro fertilization from David. Tom. I just want to confirm that Tom is right about why the Catholic Church opposes in vitro. Tom's holding his hands above his head right now in celebration for being right.

That's the one thing I'm going to be right about in 2014. So happy. It took 11 months to get one. I'm excited. Multiple eggs are fertilized and the access are discarded when success is achieved, which they consider abortion. Sure, it's stupid, but it's at least more consistent than Protestant anti-choice supporters

tend to be, since they usually support in vitro. If the premise the person who begins a conception is accepted, then it follows that in vitro would be immoral. So I almost read that as immortal. Then what's the problem? So thank you very much

for vindicating me. Vindication, Tom. Yes. Vindication. Yeah. No, that's a good response. That's something I... And it's funny because I do know a lot of Catholics, but I did not know why they didn't like in vitro. So that's a good response.

And it makes sense, logically, in their sense of the word, I guess. So we just want to talk about Adam Rieks for a few minutes. Because Adam Rieks is a podcasting hero. He wound up cutting up Pastor Manning's first diatribe about Starbucks semen coffee. He cut it up and played it on his show. Very funny. If you haven't listened to it, I think it's episode 77. Very funny.

You can also find it on our Facebook page because he animated it. He wound up animating it. He used a little animation tool and it looks great. It's funny. Pastor Manning looks funny and it looks great. It's funny. Pastor Manning looks funny. He looks funny. It's very South Park-y. Looks great.

Pastor Manning found it. Found the YouTube. Amazing. Watched the YouTube, then did a nine-minute response to his video, which really wasn't a response. He just played the whole thing. He plays his entire clip. He gives him all that air time.

And then stutters his way through another screed that Adam then takes. Again. Again, cuts, reimagines as an interview, again, animates it, again, and we're going to post the link because it is absolutely glorious. Adam, we are your biggest fans. We think it's amazeballs what you did. Spectacular. The first mashup thing that you did was goddamn brilliant yeah but then to have that guy feed you fucking like it's like it's like you

had a steak and then he just fed you dessert you know like it's just absolutely awesome and you fucking knocked it out of the park everybody had that story right everyone everyone who does a podcast about this stuff did that story. Not a single one of us pale in comparison to what you have done with that story, Adam. All of us look up to you like a god. You are the god of the world or the king of the world, though. Dictator of podcasting. Dictator of podcasting.

Use your power for the powers of good, Adam. It's actually just as effective as the dictator of the world or whatever. The UN president. He's going to arm wrestle Obama next week. So we got a message from Paul, and Paul coded, I guess it's code. He said, for your information, I'm a programmer, and this is a formula logic to derive Easter Sunday. And it's 53 lines of code? Is that what it is?

It's a lot of lines of code to figure out when fucking Easter is, man. This is based on our conversation where you were telling me that Easter is derived from some archaic lunar calendar. And I was flabbergasted. I was literally flabbergasted when you told me that. I had no idea. I didn't know that. It's crazy to see it to hear somebody read it out loud and then to see somebody code the logic required to arrive at what fucking

day is easter oh man just pick a day it's fucking made up story you already made one thing up why don't make the next thing you're going through these crazed machinations it's all made up it was outstanding so thank you very much for sending in that code. We want to remind people, and we're going to keep on doing this until we get to that point, but we want to remind people that on December 6th at 10 p.m. Chicago time, that's central time in the United States. The only time that counts. We are going to be on David Smalley's podcast, Dogma Debate.

He is doing a 24-hour broadcast. He is having tons of podcasters and other people on. I heard from a bunch of these other people. You can find a link to it on his website, Dogma Debate, and you can also find a link to it in the last episode's show notes, 191. It lists all the people that are gonna be on. There's gonna be a ton of people on.

They're gonna be giving all of the money that's raised during this podcast fundraiser. They're going to be giving it all to Foundation Beyond Belief, an awesome organization that Tom and I really do support and love. We are going to be donating a good sum of money, the most money that we have, as much money as we have, which is going to be $2,000 if people match us. So we are hoping that during our time slot, you will match donations with us, go in and donate money to this organization, and we will match that money. And hopefully we will run through that entire $2,000 in our one hour time slot. We would love for that time slot to run us completely out of dollars and then they wind up getting a good chunk of money during that time.

So please listen during that time. You can hopefully call in. You could possibly send tweets. We'll probably be doing a live thing. So it's gonna, I mean, it's gonna be a live thing. It's gonna be a mess. It's gonna be a mess. We're gonna try not to swear.

It's gonna be really, really crazy. And we're both gonna be drunk. It's not gonna be a live thing. It's going to be a mess. It's going to be great. We're going to try not to swear. It's going to be really, really crazy. And we're both going to be drunk. It's not going to be fun. It's going to be like a train wreck. It's a train wreck. And you want to watch the train wreck. So please, if you're considering donating to Foundation Beyond Belief this year, this would be the time to do it to show that there can be a groundswell of support for this organization. Right.

And if you were going to donate 20 bucks, you've now effectively donated 40. Yeah. You know, it's the old, it's the NPR model. Here we are. So let us send,

and it's not a contest, but I want to win. You know, I'm just saying it's not a contest guys, but I don't lose. I, here's my hope. I hope that,

that there's hours that beat our hour. It would be awesome. It would be awesome. There are many, I hope that there's hours that beat our hour. It would be awesome. It would be awesome. I hope there are many. I hope every other hour does better than our hour. That's why I want that. I hope we give away all 2,000 and everybody beats us. That would be great.

That would be amazing because I want to make sure that they get as much money as possible. But if you are thinking about donating to them, you can double your money and double your power during that hour. So come listen to us and make fun of us. Send us tweets and things. We should call it the Cognitive Dissonance Power Hour. I think I just coined that. There we go. I'm like a marketing ninja.

Well, Tom, we have to go to lunch. I'm skeptical of that. Yeah, and then we're going to watch some people give some talks, and we're going to spend the rest of our time at Skepticon. This won't release until late tomorrow or Monday. So if you see us at Skepticon, we got a chance to meet some really great people here. Thank you for coming to hang out with us. Thank you for drinking with us, chilling with us.

We got a chance to meet and talk to some really cool people so far. We're looking forward to tonight. And as always, we're going to leave you with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral,, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers,

birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this.

The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you