Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 195: Exodus Review

Episode Date: December 15, 2014

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Tom and Cecil are the funniest guys. Yeah. Yeah, for about seven minutes, and then I want to shoot them both. Hello, Tom and Cecil, this is Avedon from Balmy, South Carolina, Southern California. We talk about Pastor Manning's, there is no life in the rectum sermon. Well, let me tell you, give me a rectum and a petri dish and I will prove Pastor Manning wrong. Love the show, guys. Talk to you later.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Hey, Tom and Cecil, this is Andrew from Massachusetts. I'm listening to the most recent show, and I just want to let you know that Scott Lively recently ran in the most recent election and my own mother voted for him and my dad and sister were gonna vote for him too but I ended up talking them out of it and kind of pointed out what kind of a nutbag he is so I just wanted to let you know that that's what I'm dealing with and also I want to say that that Death in a W wrecking guy gets me every time. He's fucking hilarious.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Loyal. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. I forgot which intro we're using. Pick one. Quick, hurry. Every episode we tackle Exodus. Exodus. As it turns out.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Or not every episode, but this episode. Yeah, this episode, because it's not a listener-chosen film. And covers a smattering of other topics. We'll target anything that deserves a hard look or that needs to get knocked down a peg. Nothing is safe, including us. This is Cognitive Dissonance. I cannot do both intros. You can.
Starting point is 00:02:15 You can do both. This is episode 195 of Cognitive Dissonance. And that was the old Everyone's a Critic intro, which we're using this time. Today. Yes. Because we are reviewing. We've got a very special show. So this episode, we did something a little different.
Starting point is 00:02:31 We went and watched Exodus. We actually went to the movies together. Cecil paid, so I put out. That was just kind of the... We had to hold hands the entire time. We were throwing fucking M&Ms in each other's mouths. Our giant fat hands took a... The thing is, is they take up a seat of their own.
Starting point is 00:02:47 So we had to have like one seat in between us that's like the, I'm not a gay guy seat. Right, yeah. It's like the urinal space. You requisitely have to have that. Right. But then our giant hands, when you're holding hands, our giant fat bulbous hands took up that seat. Well, part of the problem was that we shared that Volkswagen full of popcorn, you know? So there's only one place.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And the trunk full of M&M's. You know, we did have a listener who said that they hoped that their Patreon donations did not go toward buying that ticket. I will say it did not go toward buying a ticket. Yeah. But much like the airlines, it went toward buying the entire row of tickets. We all walked in there to fucking move the turnstiles out of the way. Sir, I don't think you're going to make it. When we left, we had our own exodus.
Starting point is 00:03:34 I'm just saying. We did. We had to part the entire sea of those people to get out of there. It was a red sea because there's the red velvet cushions and chairs. So we just got back. I mean, we fucking literally just got back from watching that movie. We just saw it, got back to my house. We're now down here in beautiful Glory Hole Studios.
Starting point is 00:03:53 We're going to talk about that movie at the end of the show. We're going to give you a chance to talk. We're going to talk about some new stuff and work our way through it, and we're going to talk about it at the end of the show. We're going to give you a fair warning just in case you wanted to see it and you didn't want any spoilers. I don't know who the fuck is not looking for spoilers in a book that is 2,000 years old
Starting point is 00:04:09 that has been made into a movie. What happens to Moses? I can understand avoiding it for The Walking Dead or something but when it comes to spoilers for this, I don't know why you would care but if you didn't, if you wanted to see the movie and not hear any spoilers, we'll give you fair warning at the end of the show when we're going to do the actual review.
Starting point is 00:04:28 So we want to give you an opportunity to bow out of that if you so desire. Yeah, but to be really fair, do you think anybody wants to see this movie? I bet Ridley Scott didn't even watch the final edited version. When the editor finally came, he's like, I've made all the changes, Sarah. I think this is the final one. He's probably like, great. Send it up. Where do I sign? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Paycheck! So we're going to leave you with that at the end of the show. Before we get into the actual show itself, do you want to hear about my fantasy football team? Oh my god! No, I don't, actually. So I have all these guys on my fantasy...
Starting point is 00:05:03 No, sorry. I just wanted to bring that up. Are your legs sore from all that fucking running you were doing? All that fantasy running I was doing. Yeah, all that fantasy catching. The fantasy blocking. Right, yeah. I was, yeah, man. Dude, you didn't get a fantasy concussion, did you?
Starting point is 00:05:19 All that fantasy. I hear those can be bad for you. Well, the fantasy concussion is difficult, especially with all that fantasy play calling that you do. I mean, it's really difficult. It's very difficult. I'm just glad you. Well, the fantasy concussion is difficult, especially with all that fantasy play calling that you do. I mean, it's really difficult. It's very difficult. I'm just glad you're here, Cecil. I worry about you every week. Every week on Sunday, I'm like, oh, my God, what if he gets fantasy injured?
Starting point is 00:05:33 It's any given fantasy Sunday. That's all I'm saying. Any given fantasy Sunday. Fantasy night lights. That's actually a different program. I hope you're as committed to safe sex as you are those abs i know you're all about that abstinence thing you know but i mean come on be palin are you serious like you're not gonna hook up with like before you marry for real for real for real
Starting point is 00:05:57 for real for real for real for real so this story comes from the raw story parents outraged when public school takes students on catholic chastity field trip man that's the lamest man i gotta tell you like that was my first thought like every feel like remember how excited you would be to go on a field trip yeah i remember when i was a junior in high school like we were in uh physics and they had like physics day at great america oh what yeah dude it was fucking solid. Although, I will say this. Great America is in a theme park, by the way, if you're not from Illinois. Yeah, so Great America is like, it's a six flag.
Starting point is 00:06:30 So they have them all over the country. It's basically just fucking roller coasters and vomiting. Vomiting. That's all it is. And cotton candy and really expensive stuffed animals. But they close the whole park for the day, and it's just high school students doing physics day. Oh, shit. Doesn't that sound amazing that
Starting point is 00:06:45 sounds amazing it was not amazing what yeah like it turns out like because i happen to be in uh like ap physics whatever and like we had all this homework to do there so we'd have to like you're on like a roller coaster you're like this is fun but you have an accelerometer in your hand that you had to like make and you're like trying to take like measurements so you could get off and then get off the roller coaster. You did say it was all high school students. It was. And it would be themed with the story if you were getting off.
Starting point is 00:07:17 And then you were supposed to get off a ride and then do homework problems. But the problem is that that sucks. Nobody wants to do that. Take me. I can't imagine there is no worse place to do homework than Great America. There is literally no worse. The only other time I could think would be worse is Christmas morning. I would rather fucking write an essay with somebody sucking my dick.
Starting point is 00:07:45 No, but seriously, Christmas morning, you're ready to unwrap presents, and your dad says, not until you finish your homework. I'm going to do that to Finn. I'm going to do that to my boy. You know, like, I'll be honest. I'm going to apologize if Mr. Orr happens to be listening to this right now. I cheated on that shit like crazy. Because he just wanted to get on the fucking log ride. All I cared about, all I could have possibly cared about was, oh my God, I'm riding roller coasters.
Starting point is 00:08:07 You know what I mean? Exactly, yeah. It's so fun. This is only second worst. Second worst? This is actually exponentially worse because they actually just got to ride a fucking roller coaster. This is almost like doing homework when your dick's being sucked except for that it's the opposite because it's a chastity field trip. And you can't cum.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yeah, it's like five minutes. You're like, oh, my. Okay, all right. Where are you going? Where are you going? What is happening? Why are you tying my hands up? So a group, a class in Minnesota went to a field trip and they saw a chastity presentation.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Sounds exciting. Delivered by Jason Everett of the Chastity Project. Oh, Jason. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck on your project. So far, the human species has reproduced at least 7 billion times. So history is against you on your project.
Starting point is 00:09:03 You're a parent. I am. So this, I just got to ask, doesn't it feel weird to think that one day you would have any kind of say whatsoever in your child's decision whether or not to have sex? Seriously, my wife and I have talked about this. All we want is to make sure that he's safe and his partners are safe. You know, he's a little guy. He's like eight years old.
Starting point is 00:09:27 So it's not like in our ballpark yet. But like six, seven years later. But we've already talked that as soon as it's possible to get him the HPV vaccine, we want to make sure that he has it. Because we want to make sure that he's not only not a carrier himself, but he doesn't transmit to other people. I feel like that's the only responsible thing to do. I think they market that vaccine to girls, but like it kind of works both ways absolutely right and we just want to make sure like he's just fucking covered in condoms all the time absolutely yeah like i'm basically in a wallpaper his room and condoms there are six grade there are serious ramifications to having sex those serious
Starting point is 00:09:59 ramifications are you can get a sexually transmitted disease which you've already talked about and or you can impregnate someone. Right. Those are some serious ramifications. Those are adult decisions that sometimes children, which at this point we're talking 15, 14, that's a child. Totally a kid. A child is making.
Starting point is 00:10:17 So I understand the necessity for some parents to step in and say, hey, I'd like to guide my child to try to avoid this sort of thing. So when it comes to abstinence, if a parent chooses abstinence over some other form of thing, of a way in which a child is going to be sexually active, I don't care. It doesn't bother me. The problem is, is when you mandate it for an entire district, it's just anti-productive. It doesn't do anything. And you're talking about people who aren't experts.
Starting point is 00:10:48 I mean, this guy might as well come in the room and talk about pee-pees. It's that level of conversation that you're getting out of this person. Well, you know, I mean, that's because if you take a look at this guy's credentials, right? He's a trained theologian. He holds two degrees from a Franciscan college in theology right that's it like he's not a health provider he's not a health professional he's a dude with a fucking agenda well any any write a 2 000 year old book that's going to tell me how to bump uglies right you don't get to tell me that out of some weird book that's like i mean could you imagine someone coming by with a book on, let's say, Plato
Starting point is 00:11:26 or Aristotle and telling me how to have sex from it? You would laugh. Imagine reading a biblical auto repair manual, right? Like, rob a goat upon your transmission. And you're like, wait, what are you talking about? Plug the spark plug in its anus. Oh, okay. So your car is not working it's either your catalytic converter
Starting point is 00:11:46 or you did not slaughter an oxen on top of it and you didn't spread its blood on your hood and crazy throw the fucking entrails in the tent of meeting right exactly exactly what's in the tent of me oh there's no entrails yeah that's why your car won't start jesus what the fuck were you thinking what the fuck were you thinking you know i would say too that like i again just to be clear like i don't really give a shit if somebody chooses abstinence as their form of but they just need to know your options like if the only option you think you have is don't have sex and then you have sex then you're like well i guess maybe why would you why would you even think about wearing a condom because because you weren't told about it right he even goes out of his way to say that they're not even effective for the things that you want.
Starting point is 00:12:28 He doesn't talk. In the two or three minutes I watched, and now he may go on farther, I stopped watching because I was bored and the guy was an idiot. So I stopped watching. But there's a point where he starts talking about, ah, the condom's not even effective. Well, if it's not, if they don't think it's effective, they're going to take it up and throw it up. Because I'll tell you what. I've fucked in condom and out of condom and i prefer out of condom all day and twice on fucking sunday okay i don't give a shit what condom you buy right it is never as good
Starting point is 00:12:55 as pure vagina right you know but you know it's much better than all the diseases or like accidentally impregnated my girlfriend when I was 16. Like that's a sucky world. Exactly. And and condom is way better than right hand. Right. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black coat.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Long black coat. So this story comes from Smuch. It's a Smuch. Smuch. Smuch. Or the Sydney Morning Herald. The whole city is shocked. Bare-legged woman in Kabul goes viral.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I mean, this story is kind of exactly what it sounds like. In Kabul, Afghanistan, there's surveillance footage, basically. Surveillance footage? I mean, that's what it looks like, right? I know, it totally does. It looks like shitty, like weird. It's a hastily taken picture on a cell phone is what I think it is. Right, that's what it is. Of a woman walking around, and she is not covered head to toe.
Starting point is 00:13:59 She has an actual head. You can see her hair tie. Right. And her neck skin is shamefully exposed. And her ears. I can see her earlobes at this point. I did not find those earlobes hard to masturbate to. I will say that while you're talking, I'm jerking off to her legs right now.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You can see her legs from the knee down. Nice gams. Yeah. Nice pair of gams on her. She's not even wearing high heels, and she's got nice calves. She's all right looking. She's got a nice pair of gams. her. She's not even wearing like high heels and it's like she's got nice calves. She's all right looking. She's got a nice pair of gams. It says she's bare legged.
Starting point is 00:14:28 I'm sure these guys were ready to fucking just destroy her. Are you kidding me? I'm surprised she made it across the street. I'm legitimately surprised that she would do such a thing. Yeah. Well, you kind of wonder like what were the circumstances? Because it says that there's severe rules to women for women that include keeping one's whole body, hair and face covered. I use my face to house my eyes, by the way, my mouth, my nose, important things that I
Starting point is 00:14:56 use to navigate the world. Those are my point in the arts. I point those at the places I want to go and go there. Mostly bakeries. Right. It's always bakery. Mostly bakeries. Right. It's always bakeries. You can go other places. Everything is like you have a GPS.
Starting point is 00:15:10 I cover myself in chocolate glaze every day and just sit in the bakery and lick it off. No one comes to my bakery. Literally no one comes there. The only way to get me to actually show up for work is for someone to call ahead and show me a picture of an eclair in my desk. They had to open a tub of frosting on my desk for me to smell it to follow it into my room. I'm like a bloodhound. I like sniffed the floor and worked my way to the room. You know what's amazing is that this is news.
Starting point is 00:15:42 I know. Right? I know. Right? I know. Like, think about how backward a culture and a place in time has to be. Sure. That a woman who is very conservatively dressed by any reasonable standard. Right. Walking across the street in any real, like, in any country. In Vibram Five Fingers.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Right. She's just wearing, like, weird purple socks. They look like Vibrams to me. Are they really Vibram Five Fingers. Right? She doesn't wear like weird purple socks. They look like Vibrams to me. Are they really Vibrams? I can't tell, but it looks like they have toes. They kind of do in that second photo. Yeah, the first photo on the left looks like it's toes. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:16:16 So I'm thinking they're Vibrams. Maybe she stole Jake Far Wharton's Vibrams. They're close by. They are. Australian, Afghanistan. You could throw a stone from one to the other, right? I think if they start with the same letter The reason why they're close to each other
Starting point is 00:16:34 is because that's where all the fucking koalas went over when they migrated to Australia. They had to go somewhere. After the flood. After the flood. Right. They had to go somewhere.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Come on. They went to Jake's house. They're all still there getting chlam flood. After the flood. Right. They had to go somewhere. Come on. They went to Jake's house. They're all still there getting chlamydia. Chlamydia from Jake. That's how they got chlamydia. From Jake. Right? Use a condom once in a while, Jake.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Jesus. He believed the Chastity Project. That's the problem. But thousands of people are talking about it. That's crazy, man. Well, the guy, you could see the guy looking at her saying, you have the audacity. Look at this one photo. The third one?
Starting point is 00:17:10 The first one on the left. Look at the guy looking at her like, what the fuck is happening? I don't know this to be true, but from these three photos, she looks to be a Western woman. That's what it looks like, too. To me, her hair, her skin color, color the tone she looks to be just like her outfit too and you know like the thing is we're talking about it like it's some sort of crazy it's a fucking very pretty modest outfit when it's a very modest outfit everything's covered in the front it looks like the the the the jacket that she's wearing comes down to almost her knee
Starting point is 00:17:42 yeah there's nothing in modest it's not like I see your fucking twat. You know what I mean? She's not Lindsay Lohanning. Let me tell you something, Alan. If America continues to reject the mercy of the Christian cross, America will live under the tyranny of the Islamic sword. So this story comes from the BBC. Israel holds American planning attacks on Muslim sites.
Starting point is 00:18:10 The only reason I like this story is because it's a fucking trifecta of bad ideas. Right. It basically covers the whole Abrahamic tradition. It does. You know, you've got plus the American exceptionalism. So there's evidently an American Christian idiot who went over to Israel and was going to bomb or shoot or whatever, cause fucking chaos at some major holy sites in Jerusalem. Because that's how you solve problems. That's not exactly how you exacerbate problems, Cecil.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Well, that's exactly it, right? This person doesn't understand anything about what really would cause that. All they have, like a lot of people in our country, is a justice boner. Right. They have a vengeance justice boner, and they want to see somebody hurt for hurting someone else. That's because eye for an eye justice really is only on this side of the globe when you come to our country and the muslim states like that's really yeah we have that in common eye for an eye justice is all
Starting point is 00:19:11 that the rest of the world is it looks at that and thinks that's a horrifyingly bad antiquated idea that no one does anymore because it doesn't work right because there's no incentive when because you never think you're going to be caught. That's why people get their hands cut off in other countries because they think they can get away with it. That's why people get stoned to death in other countries because they think they can get away with the same thing in our area, fits perfectly in their area. And the rest of the world, they throw up their hands in wonderment at what the fuck we do. Yeah, absolutely, man. And so we have this guy who travels to the Middle East in this particular case into Israel, find some fucking plastic or bombs of some sort, and he's going to explode some Palestinian sites. So he's an American. It's the I swallowed a fly to catch it.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Yeah, it's crazy. He's going over there to do some crazy damage to someone in a justice capacity. And I say justice. I shouldn't say justice in a vengeance capacity to try to get people people to and i don't know what what you're going to do you see what happens when terrorism happens here and our reaction to it right and well and what's the like like what what how exactly does that even make any sense like i am mad because you guys do terrorism so i'll do a terrorism at you okay it's if it was wrong the when they did it it's it's the same wrong when you're wrong yeah like all it is it's just a matter it doesn't change the fact that
Starting point is 00:20:53 you're the one now doing it doesn't all of a sudden create right right it's not it doesn't make it morally right i can't speak but it doesn't make it morally right because you're the one who did it because they did it first right it's not like if you stole from me see so i'd be like well i'm stealing from you like what are we for well if you follow exodus it's all those eye for an eye thing and they just list them all off they just start listing them off so in the same in the same vein this is the exact same thing it's i'm going to if you if you steal i'm going to cut your hand off. If you kill, I'm going to kill you. It's these bad ideas of, I've got to meet out you with vengeance, instead of, in some way, letting you figure out what you did wrong and then maybe changing you. No, I don't care. I'm just going to
Starting point is 00:21:35 hurt you. All I want to do is hurt you, because I'm a base animal who doesn't think past this very moment. But what the scriptures are anxious to say, it's far more important that we be spiritually strong as a nation than that we be militarily strong. It's not enough to be militarily strong. If we are militarily strong, but we are spiritually weak as a nation, we are going to go down. And that's why it's critical, I believe, to have a commander-in-chief
Starting point is 00:22:00 who is a Christian-in-chief first and then is our commander in chief. This woman's face. I got to tell you, some of these images that get frozen as the image on the video are absolutely perfect. This woman's face is great. She's got this Gomer Pyle look on her face, which is just perfect. This is from Right Wing Watch. Ben Carson thinks that God is calling on him to save America and stop Putin-esque Obama. Just like I told Cecil before the show, whenever I read Putin-esque, I just think of Putin-esque.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Right. And it's like, it kind of sounds delicious. I could go for that right now. Yeah. I love a good Putin-esque. So Christian Broadcasting Network reporter David Brody has been releasing, slowly releasing excerpts from his interview with, and I love this part, Cecil, likely Republican presidential candidate. And I will say that as the Republican potentials start to come out of the woodwork, I realize, again again my love for this show as it is renewed its vigor is amazing it's amazing these guys are fucking awesome this guy seems like another
Starting point is 00:23:11 herman cain doesn't yes yeah oh my god the fucking pizza man oh that guy's great godfather of pizza that guy's awesome so ben carson has some things to say he does so we got a couple of clips they're both about a minute one's two minutes long one's a minute and a half. Let's listen to the first one. First, he says God would have to grab him by the collar. And how is that conversation going with God about this potential presidential run? Has he grabbed you by the collar yet? I read an article about that. I feel fingers.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Where does he feel the fingers in his anus? God is actually giving me a prostate exam right now as we speak. I feel the fingers. All right. All right. I'm right here to judge. Candy Carson, his wife of nearly 40 years, knows that her husband will be demonized by his critics if he runs. She understands the stakes. Our country is going a way that's different from what our founding fathers were thinking. And we wanted to make sure he felt really called to wake people up. And that's what that's what he's been doing. The Carsons plan to lean on their Christian faith to get them through.
Starting point is 00:24:10 You know, in the Bible it says the Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle, right? And a lot of times you feel like, are you sure? Are you really sure? You know, but he does give you what you need. really shoot you know but he does give you what you need we recognize that you know we are being instruments in the hand of god he is the one who really orchestrates all of this why doesn't he send a fucking plague to convince us well just do something do literally anything i mean like and like can you what fucking how more tired is, like, that whole, like, God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He just gives us what we need.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Really? Really? You're really going to say that? Like, looking around the world at the fucking pain and suffering. Right. Like, you're really going to be like, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Oh, hey, that guy who stepped on a landmine. Oh, yeah. God, you know, God.
Starting point is 00:25:06 That guy couldn't handle both his legs, Tom. Right. He didn't make sure that he had one that dangled by tiny bits of flesh. God gives you what you need. Right. Turns out you didn't need both your legs. And you needed a lot more shrapnel. Right.
Starting point is 00:25:19 What you needed was chronic pain. You needed. That's what you were. It was a large explosion. Right. And half your leg gone. That's it. were. It was a large explosion. Right. And half your leg gone. That's it. Right now, Carson is putting together his platform.
Starting point is 00:25:29 He wants a fairer and flatter tax structure, lower corporate taxes, and health savings accounts for all. But his number one issue, the out-of-control debt. Unless we get a grip on that, why wouldn't we suffer the same fates as other pinnacle nations who have allowed debt to encumber their progress? Carson also will not let political correctness get in his way. He plans to speak his mind on issues like the roots of this country. We are, in fact, a Judeo-Christian nation. And I think that's a huge part of our strength or comparing our current government to nazi germany and i know you're not supposed to say nazi germany but i don't care about political correctness or accuracy accuracy yeah he doesn't care about accuracy yeah
Starting point is 00:26:16 hey how many uh how many uh dead jew factories did you drive past today 60 any because i didn't they paved the road with dead jews on my way to your house. Man. Because like earlier today when we got the... There's a lot of potholes in there. When you like eject a Jew out of the road, there's just like this big pothole that you got to go through. What they need to do
Starting point is 00:26:38 is just get a big truck full of dead babies and then they can fill those up. Because yeah, they're smaller. And you got to boil some down for glue. Two or three babies to yeah, they're smaller. Right, yeah. And then you can... Yeah. And you got to boil some down for glue. If you put like two or three babies to a hole, you're fine. Oh, my God. I want out. Tapping.
Starting point is 00:26:52 I want out. We're tapping out of the dead Jew conversation. So here's the second part. This one's a little shorter. It's a minute and 30 seconds long. Hopefully he calls Obama another Nazi here. He talks straight about President Obama, too. Our president is very much like Putin, you know?
Starting point is 00:27:07 Oh, well, gee, there's no resistance here. Well, oh, okay. Well, I'll just keep going. And the resistance needs to be there. What is he talking about? Obama gets resistance every time he tries to do anything. He can't even take a shit without Boehner fucking walking in on the can on him. The guy's like, like hey are you done
Starting point is 00:27:26 in here yet guys try to squeeze one out the fucking vein in his forehead's ready to pop he's got to push so hard it's ridiculous it's like all he eats is cheese oh that's so awesome it's so it it feels so disconnected to reality to say something like that but the problem is is that people just don't they they automatically believe it they eat that shit up when he talks about obama being a nazi when he talks about obama being uh uh just running rampant running roughshod over any bit of legislation that could possibly they they they don't let him do a thing right he gets nothing done right and that's that's like, progressives really dislike Obama. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Because they're like, you're not getting enough done. Yeah. Because he can't. Eight years. Because he can't. Right. What would you want to tell him? I would want to tell him, sir, I understand that you have very defined ideals of what you think America is.
Starting point is 00:28:22 But you work for the people. They don't work for you. Constitutional authority, he has overstepped that, you believe, in many instances? Without question. And hopefully, the legislators in Congress will understand what they need to do. What do they need to do? They don't understand what they need to do. What do they need to do? They need to have a spine. They need to stand up because once you allow someone to take liberties with the system, they're not going to stop.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Carson says it's up to the people to change America's direction. People need to recognize that they do have power, but they do have to exercise it. It is our God-given duty to exercise that power. And he's praying for God to show his power in a mighty way. Do you think this country needs a spiritual awakening? We most definitely need a spiritual awakening. I mean, look at the direction that we're going in. Absolute absurdity. What does that even mean?
Starting point is 00:29:24 What direction are we headed in? Like east? I don't even know. Like, what are you talking about? Absolute absurdity. That's the direction we're headed in. I don't even know what that means. They're just making things, cutting things out of whole cloth.
Starting point is 00:29:36 They don't even understand what they're saying at a certain point. It feels like they were told to say this by someone else. Yeah. We've heard that how many times? It's like, well, the direction of this country is not what it should be. And it's like, well, what are you talking about? Can you define it? Are you talking about the economic direction of this country?
Starting point is 00:29:54 Are you talking about the social agenda of this country? Are you talking – like what is it specifically? Like be specific. Don't just say like the direction because the country fucking sits in the same place all the time. Yeah. It rarely changes, especially in this last administration, rarely changed at all. Is it the immigration policy? I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:30:12 You need to be specific. This whole idea that like you can just say these big blanket things and everyone's just like, I will nod to that. I am also a person that nods to that. It's a snooze, man. If this is a guy, if this is a legitimate candidate though for the office gonna be amazing what kind of what are you thinking you're digging up you might as well dig up fucking the i don't even know the corpse of ronald reagan and he would have a better chance of winning well i mean i'm sure you've heard the same rumors so the rumors
Starting point is 00:30:41 are rick perry rick perry. Santorum. Santorum's awful. And Romney again. None of those are winners. It's great because Elizabeth Warren will curb stomp them. I don't think Elizabeth Warren. Hillary Clinton will curb stomp them. I don't think Elizabeth Warren's going to run. You don't think she'll do it? I hope she does.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I hope she does too. There's a lot of pressure. I guess there's one. It's one of those things that I say my home team is going to lose just so i hope they win yeah right and that's how i feel about elizabeth warren is i say that she's going to not run she won't run she won't run but then she does and i feel awesome about it because i would vote for her in a second right she's one of those people unlike obama uh i didn't campaign for i would campaign i would i think i would do something for her party if she ran if she ran
Starting point is 00:31:25 and she actually was going to like be involved in the you know the democratic yeah I would go out of my way to make sure that I did something for her whether that's a monetary donation or it's she's exciting something yeah I think she's amazing she's amazing but she's also reminds me a lot of Obama in a way because she she talks real big now. What happens when you get elected? Yeah. If you get anything done, let's see if she'll get it. It's all about getting things. And and and with people like this, the people who say these kind of things, this guy who's saying this sort of thing, this Carson guy. This is really all that they have to do is to try to defame and destroy and compare him to i and it's weird too because they kind of have this love hate affair with putin where they talk
Starting point is 00:32:12 about how great putin is when it comes to homosexuals right and then they hate him the rest they say oh well look at his gay agenda he wants to string those fuckers up and dip decapitate him if possible etc he cetera. He's a hawk. What a great guy. And then at the same time, they're like, oh, I don't know that I like him so much. He's really kind of a bad person. Pick one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:32 You got to pick one. Fucking pick one. I'll tell you what. He's right with you on the gay policies. Right. He's right with you on the gay policies. So if you love him, love him. Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:41 If you don't. Don't. Yeah. I know. But they're trying to compare them to it to try to scare people and it's weird because they're going they're hearkening back to this ussr versus america thing i know man it's like because there's nothing left to do but go to the past right go to the past because you don't have a vision for the future go to the past
Starting point is 00:33:00 with moscow go to the past with nazis and those are your avenues. Yeah. Right. It's the 1940s, or if you'd rather, the 1970s. It's the 1950s or the 1940s. Right. Take your pick. Which era of the past would you like to live in? Podcasters. They live in squalor, destitute, and
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Starting point is 00:34:21 For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can make a difference in their lives, allowing them the opportunity to rant unfettered, as nature intended. Please, go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures lead a life worth living. So we saw Exodus, Gods and Kings. For those of you not familiar, you can check this movie out. It's playing right now. I think we got the jump on this one, Cecil. The theater was packed.
Starting point is 00:34:57 There were upwards of 12 people in there. There was like six to ten people in there. We were six of them. Yeah. It wasn't a packed theater, although it was and we were six of them yeah there wasn't it wasn't a packed theater although no that's definitely true it was a matinee so that may be it may be more at night but i think it just released either yesterday or the day before so relatively soon it came out yeah but i'm not sure at night it does any better it's not really your typical date movie yeah you know like what's
Starting point is 00:35:21 up baby i'm gonna go see that fucking Bible movie? I'm sure tonight. Come on, why don't you take a fucking purity pledge before we go out? Let's really rock it, yo. So this movie is 28% fresh. It has an average rating of 4.9 out of 10. 122 counter reviews, 34 fresh, 88 rotten. I can see that. That's a lot more rotten than fresh by a pretty wide margin.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Before we get into it, if somebody just wants to know, before we actually talk about the movie at all, if somebody wants to know should they see it or not, should they see it, Tom? No. Okay. No. And it's not because it's so bad, although we'll get into this. It's not because it's like, oh, man, it's so bad. It's because it's like, you know, it answers the fucking question nobody's asking, right?
Starting point is 00:36:11 Which is like, what's the Energizer bunny going to do next? He's going to fucking just keep doing the same shit he was doing before. Like, you know what happens. That's the problem with this movie, right? And that's the problem, I think, with any Bible movie is all they can do is either deviate dramatically from the source material like Noah did, in which case you're just making crazier shit up. Sure. I don't even know if that's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Like fire elementals and like fucking stone golems and shit. Weirdness and like a whole population pool of people eating babies on fucking spits and whatever. So weird. Like and then the other alternative, right, is to stick relatively closely to the script. Exodus does an okay job of sticking to the script, although they leave out what I think, and we'll talk about this, are some really key elements to the story. I think these are absurd. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:58 But you know what happens. So I guess I just don't even see what you would get out of seeing this movie. Right. Having seen the movie, I didn't get anything out of it. Right. Although I'm lighter in the pocket. Oh, tremendously. It cost almost like, I almost dropped the fucking C-note going to see this movie.
Starting point is 00:37:12 But I will say this. If you're going to see a Bible movie, whatever that Bible movie is, now whether that movie is, I don't want to say reverential because this movie I don't think was as reverential as people would think it would be. But what I do want to say is if it's going to talk about the Bible in some sort of at least quasi-positive way, and whether that's a documentary like Monumental, right, when they're talking about the Bible. Did you just call Monumental a documentary? I guess.
Starting point is 00:37:37 I mean, in the loosest sense of the word, it is a documentary. That's a mockumentary, sir. You can't make fun of yourself in a documentary. So they went into every tent every intention to have a documentary but it's not if you're gonna go see no uh if you're gonna watch some old-timey ten commandments right instead of this i would say this is probably one of the better religious yeah themed films that i've seen. That's not saying a lot. No, right.
Starting point is 00:38:06 That's like saying like if you're going to eat a fungus covered cheese. If you're going to eat, let's say, a bowl of ice cream and there's a turd in part of it. No, but seriously, it's not an awful movie by any stretch of the imagination. It could have been a lot worse. Could have been. I thought that there were some redeeming qualities, which we'll get to a little later on but i think that overall if you're gonna force yourself as a listener to this program let's face it you're forcing yourself to watch this shit just like i forced myself to eat after the fourth help exactly right yeah you
Starting point is 00:38:37 know you just keep on piling on your plate i'm like a foie gras goose forcing yourself to watch this movie you're gonna force yourself to watch this movie. You're going to force yourself to watch it. It's not funny enough to Misty. There are funny parts. There are. And you can, I think, get some good, clever lines in here. But it's going to be – there are few and far between. It's mostly wandering.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I mean it's mostly a wandering movie. So it's not – and it's kind of slow-paced. So it's really not very useful for Misty. So you're not going to find those those those parts to Misty. They're also not going to find those parts that are just so absurd that you're going to laugh out loud. You're going to find kind of a dull movie. And while I think it's probably the best one you could watch, there's no reason to watch it. When we talk about books and we talk about their adaptation into film, we have to, I think, there's got to be some comparison point. Now, they can't be perfect and they can't cover the entire thing, but they can be somewhat, they have to resemble one another.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Yeah, there's always a relationship with the source material that has to be considered. And if you leave out major characters and large things, people get pissed off. The people who follow the books get pissed off. So in, for example, in Lord of the Rings, there's all those people like, hey, where's Tom Bombadil? He's not in anywhere in the Lord of the Rings and he's a huge part of the original series
Starting point is 00:39:56 and you gotta talk about Tom Bombadil. We're not gonna do that, right? So like, there's a guy out there who's furious that he's not in the Lord of the Rings movies. I personally am absolutely furious that there was not as many tabernacles as I thought there would be. I read the book. I read the book Exodus. It was expectation with bated breath waiting for the tabernacles, for the arcs, for the drapes in which they're going to adorn these things.
Starting point is 00:40:25 And I was cheated, completely cheated out of all those things. None of those. And, you know, the thing is that the Bible goes into great specificity about, you know, what kind of wood is to be used and what the inlay is going to look like and how many rings go on each side of the fucking doohickey that they're building. How many cherubim are on it. Right. And what the cherubim are going to look like and what their gas smells like. I mean, it's just everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Every fucking minute detail. Every little tiny bit you can do. Yeah. Yeah. So Exodus, Gods, and Kings. What is this? What pieces of the story get covered? Well, it's Moses' best buddies with Ramses.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Which is, I think that follows the book pretty well. They're totes BFFs. They're totes BFFs. They even have swords to prove it. Yeah, they got matchy matchies. They're like sword mizpahs. I don't know if you remember those things. They like fit together.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Right. In like some weird way. It's like, you get the one side. I get the other side. You get the other side. We'll forever be friends. Oh my God. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Yeah. So they're. They like have fucking pillow fights. They stay up all night watching movies. Yeah. You know. So – but whatever. They're totes BFFs until there's a big battle.
Starting point is 00:41:37 So there's a big random goofball battle. And one of – and there's a prophecy that happens at the very beginning of the film. Oh, yes. There's a prophecy. There's a prophecy. This woman who is a mystic says something about someone who was a leader is not going to be a leader. And then somebody else is a leader is going to, wasn't a leader is going to be a leader or something like that. And it's, and, and, and the initial impression is that the, the Ramsey's, the guy who's the going to be the Pharaoh
Starting point is 00:41:57 eventually, right. It's going to die. And Moses is going to take his place, even though he can't because he's an adopted son or something like that. And so that's what everybody thinks is going to happen. And what happens is Moses saves Ramsey's life, and that's where all of the discord starts in the whole movie. That's where the main plot narration takes a hard hit, and everything starts going to shit. So I think one thing that they don't tell you,
Starting point is 00:42:20 but I think it's reasonable to infer, is that Ramsey has a fucking micropenis. Yeah. Because he is so insecure. Right. But so Ramsey's like, he gets his life saved, and then he looks over in this moment where he's like, over at Moses, and the battle is raging on,
Starting point is 00:42:37 and they have this fucking eyes lock, like, reunited, and it feels so good. And he's like, wait a minute a minute you saved me it's opposite day like it's bizarro battle right you know and so and then so there's this fucking weirdness now between the two of them who's the roast face guy who's playing ramses in this because i don't know i i kind of recognized him but he's so hard to tell who he is under the maybelline i just it's like i just can't tell who it is yeah i don't know they i just i think they just picked the fucking hairless doughy dude yeah i mean it looked like telly savalas from the original one he's gonna be sucking on a sucker you know to speed the plot along essentially moses gets uh
Starting point is 00:43:19 he gets tattled on somebody says oh he's, he's actually a Jew. And they somehow believe it. It's just he spends his whole life as literally the son of the king. Right. And then someone comes along with some shoddy information and immediately it's a big deal. Well, and I think what you're supposed to think there is that Ramses believes it because it's convenient for him to exile Moses based on that information. I guess. And get Moses out of the way because he's scared that Moses from this prophecy will then take over his role as king of the Egyptians.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Sure. Which doesn't make any sense because he can't take over that role. Right. But at the same time, don't you think when you watch something like this, how stupid you people are? Because all it takes is two or three people worth of misinformation and you'll get rid of the best general you have. Why not? If that's the case, if that's still fucking work today, which it wouldn't fucking work even if you tried. Why not try to convince? I don't know. In 2001, trying to convince osama bin laden that he was actually christian or catholic send somebody oh you don't know but when you were a baby you're
Starting point is 00:44:30 fucking floated down the river you're actually a fucking jew you know and why not send some disinformation if that actually nobody would believe it that's why it doesn't work because nobody believes it it's it's really it's like one of those cheap plot points where it's like you know like you ever see those like bad comedies that revolve around everybody not communicating properly? Like, oh, you know, she thinks I'm cheating on her, but I'm really out buying her presents. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:44:54 and then she fucking, I'm actually doing dancing lessons so I can surprise her. And I'm dancing with Sophia Viagra. That's her name, right? Sophia Viagra, that. Yeah. Right. Sofia Viagra. Viagra. That's her name, right? That should be.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Sofia Viagra. That's her name. Works just fine. No, but yeah, I understand exactly what you mean. So exile Moses. Right. He disappears and heads off into the fucking great big world, meets a girl, settles down. Ten years later, they do another flashback.
Starting point is 00:45:21 There's Moses hanging out, decides for some reason to i guess to prove to his son that he can climb a mountain because god says you can't go up there and they actually believe a totally different thing than the hebrews believe and right his word is not to believe and you're also led to believe that moses is kind of an atheist he's kind of an agnostic doesn't really care doesn't really know doesn't certainly doesn't believe in mysticism he actually makes an homage to reason in the beginning absolutely yes and so he heads up on the mountain catches a fucking rock and a mudslide right in the kisser and fucking gets knocked out so he's out cold his wife wakes him up and he has a he has a vision
Starting point is 00:45:55 this crazy vision of this little boy and god in this movie embodies it's anthropomorphized as a child as a maybe a 10 year old child 11 year old kid um and a vicious awful fucking damien-like child i mean really is he not i mean he's essentially damien yeah and so which is not far off from the abrahamic old testament really yeah exactly and and okay well done he feels like a kid who would put you out in the corn he feels like that kid on the twilight when i think i mean not to get ahead but i do think that that's an intentional decision because if you are going to look at the abrahamic old testament god it's a temper tantrum god absolutely absolutely so it it makes sense yeah shoot to make that decision i actually think that was a very critical decision and i think and i think it's a great decision not only that
Starting point is 00:46:43 it turns out that moses is the only one who can see God. So he'll have conversations when people are around, and he's talking to a rock. And it's like, they invented the pet rock 2,000 years ago. He's having a conversation with it. So he's talking to nothing, and it's actually kind of laugh out loud funny. If you were to take a step back and and view the world as one of his followers you would think he's fucking batshit insane sure you would yeah but in any case moses has this epiphany that he has to go back and help his people who he eventually finally realizes that he's part of
Starting point is 00:47:17 so he goes back tells the pharaoh let my people go and he doesn't actually say those words but no it's kind of like they should let him let him go or pay them wages. And he really and in a lot of ways, he felt he felt like he was saying what he was saying to them was, I kind of still am with you. But I think that there's some bad shit that's going to happen. So I should let you these people. He was really looking for a policy decision. Exactly. And so and it's funny because they even say that out loud.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Right. Out loud at one point. He's like, are you asking me to make a policy decision? And he says like, that's really bad economics at one point. Like the Ramseys is like, that costs a lot of money. It felt like you're sitting around a table at the UN. Well, nothing got done. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:47:56 So it felt very similar. So then they move into Ramseys refusing and then they start the plagues. I think that the plagues in this, uh, for the place don't come first. Moses tries to do some guerrilla warfare, which is ultimately ineffective. And not only ineffective, but it's like the reprisals for it are not good. And they don't even make sense. They're just, they're just hanging random people for no reason. Just to strike fear.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I guess there is a reason, but you know, well, and then the Bernageddon,eddon they burn down burn a whole town that again is this that's a bad economic decision i know like all your all your okay so at one point they kill uh they kill some people and blow up some uh granaries and then they also sink some ships with some shit on it and so ramses is pissed off and basically burns the ghetto where all the jews, kills a shit ton of people and burns all their houses down. And it doesn't even make any sense from an from a standpoint of he wants to finish his palace, because if he wants to finish his goddamn palace, why is he making his workforce rebuild their own goddamn houses? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Like slaves like that's the thing. I mean, I know this is getting aside, but like when watch this you just you just so obviously untrue right because if there's anything we know about the institution of slavery from having instituted it in the south in america it's that slaves
Starting point is 00:49:14 are really expensive like it's it's not like you have a slave and it's like end game like you have to feed and house and clothe like Like, there are costs to having. Slavery is not a cost-free thing, right? Like, it's a delicate balance between, you know, am I getting more output, production output from this unit of work than I'm paying out to support this unit of work? Well, when you burn down their houses and slaughter them by the fucking hundreds and hundreds, you're just like, it'd be like going into like your fucking automotive plant and be like, I'm so mad. I broke the machine that puts doors on cars. It's breaking your computer at work. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Why would you do this? Even if it's making you mad, you still just try to fix it. Right. You don't just hit it with a fucking hammer and be like, no, I need a new computer. What the fuck? Yeah. Very expensive decision in one hand you're so worried about economics and the next second you're literally stabbing babies through the face right it's so crazy so the next bit is the plague so god comes down and they do a very good job of depicting like you say a childish god who says watch me fucking work right and so the plagues start with a plague of crocodiles, which is brand new.
Starting point is 00:50:27 I love that. Brand new. I love that. That was an inventive. When the crocs showed up, were you surprised? I was. I was. At first, I thought I was so hoping that it was literally going to be a plague of crocodiles
Starting point is 00:50:36 just ran into the city and just started eating people. Eating people up. But here's what happens. So it's kind of like the guy who swallowed the fly to catch the spider or whatever the fuck in that story. so here's what happens it's this rube goldberg-esque way in which god decides to bring the plagues on the humans first the crocodiles attack and kill some dudes and spread their blood all over in the water then they start attacking each other and spreading their own blood and so there's just this big blood gore.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Fish can't breathe. They die. And so they float up to the top and then start bleeding, I guess. And so there's just a big bunch of blood in the water. Just a fucking big hoard of blood. Right. The Nile is ruined. The Nile is ruined. For how long?
Starting point is 00:51:17 It's a fucking flowing river. That's the thing. How long is it ruined for? It seemed to be ruined for a while. It seemed like it. Because then the frogs came up and there was just this fucking mess of frogs flying in. Which the frogs are the least effective plague, because they just seem kind of bothersome. It's like having a squishy carpet.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Like, that's all it is. There's really nothing to it. And the woman, the best part is this woman, sleeps through an entire covering of frogs. She wakes up. And wakes up horrified. She wakes up, no shit, covered she wakes up no shit covered in frog literally covered probably has 200 frogs on her if she had like whoa what was i asleep when the hundreds and hundreds of frogs she would have less frogs on her if she had a frog fetish
Starting point is 00:51:56 that woman is a fucking deep sleeper i'll tell you what but in any case so the frogs then die rot and the flies come right the flies then basically are attack flies that swarm and destroy everybody everybody people start literally i mean and and this is not uh a cost-free plagues each one of these plagues is killing what looks like dozens if not hundreds of people at least- That's all their food and water is now ruined. The next thing that happens is all these people that got bit by the flies now have boils, and they start having to rub this fucking polstice on themselves. They're all covered in nasty, crusty boils. Right.
Starting point is 00:52:37 And they all look like fucking the thing from the Fantastic Four. Right. And then right after that, after the flies descend on them, then the locusts come. The locusts eat all their grain. Then at this point, there's a tenuous relationship between the granaries being guarded
Starting point is 00:52:57 and then the people wanting to steal them and Ramsay starts killing his own people. Then right after this happens, after he kills the people for the granaries, all the animals just get sick and start dying. They all have, like, face explosions. They all have face explosions. Exactly. Because at one point, one of the horse spits up blood.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Right. Ramsay sticks his fucking, he basically fists the thing's mouth for a second, pulls his hand out. It's covered in gore. And he turns to one of his servants. He's like, did you do this? What the fuck could he have possibly have done to do that what are you doing this horse's mouth again did you put a blood packet in his face but uh after that happens then the final plague and i may be missing a play there's a darkness plague the darkness one yeah there's a darkness plague and then the
Starting point is 00:53:41 hail plague the hail plague comes after and then the final plague of course is go out and kill a lamb and put its blood on the door and if not if you don't kill the kill a lamb and put its blood on the door a darkness will come over you and no matter how old your your son is your firstborn son he will have sids no matter how old he will automatically have sids and die you know i i want to talk about this. Whenever I pictured the Passover story, and I guess whenever I formed that mental image, I formed an image of a wooden door with a little schmear of blood. Just a tiny little bit. Like a schmear, right?
Starting point is 00:54:17 Yeah, you're putting it on a bagel. These people were fucking Tom Sawyer-ing. They totally were. They had buckets-ing. They totally were. Like, they had buckets of blood. They literally did, yeah. They were, like, painting their fucking houses in fucking lamb blood. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy.
Starting point is 00:54:35 They were just like, I'm not making any mistake. Right. Because I guess, like, God just misses a spot sometimes. Like, oh, I know I killed a guy there. No, I fucking put the blood up. Oh, I didn't see it. You would think he would be able to land this plane you know without the guy on the ground with the fucking sticks that waves the sticks at him or whatever you would think he'd be able to land this plane without any help yeah so i'm gonna finish up the story
Starting point is 00:54:59 really quickly essentially uh it's from that point on for about 20 minutes it's pics of dead kids for 20 straight minutes it's dead kid dead kid dead kid all these dead kids everybody crying wailing weeping punching themselves in the face because they're so sad and dead kids it's just dead kid after dead kid after dead kid if you're if if that's your thing this is a movie for you oh dude you'll have a fucking dead kid boner there's plenty of dead kids to check out. You'll love it. They even wrap little dead kids up. They gift wrap them at one point as a mummy.
Starting point is 00:55:31 They mummify one of the dead kids. And he's all rigor mortis, like sticking straight out. Like he looks like they took like they took and they TP'd a lawn jockey. That's what it looks like. I laughed out loud when I saw it. I feel so bad, but like with a little fucking tiny mummy baby. It was so fucking funny. Because like mummies are hilarious.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Mummies are very funny. That's like such, and he's like, oh, white. It looks like fucking Casper. Like it's like somebody murdered Casper in your house. Oh, they totally did too. It looks super funny. They held a ghost pillow over his head until he stopped breathing. So Ramsey's pissed.
Starting point is 00:56:06 Dead kid. He's carrying him up, shaking him like a fucking stick at Moses and then says, get the hell out of my country. They bolt. They leave. Moses basically takes his crew of 400,000 people to the Red Sea. And they part the Red Sea. Ramsey's on the way. Catches the worst luck of like there's a landslide at one point.
Starting point is 00:56:28 And I can't imagine he lost over three quarters of his force. Just the landslide. Actually, I will give this. The landslide looked cool. The landslide looked cool, but it was hilarious because all these people that you wanted to die died. And I was like, that guy died. Good. That guy's dead.
Starting point is 00:56:41 I didn't like that. When the landslide comes down, I thought he had like seven dudes left. I know. It totally looked like it. But he had a few more. They make it to the Red Sea. The sea parts. But it doesn't part in the way in which the old Ten Commandments.
Starting point is 00:56:54 It just goes away. It just goes away. And there's a lot of that in this movie where it's trying to be, I guess, try to be as realistic as possible. It's trying to come up with like a plausible way for this thing to happen. Right, plausible way for it to happen. And so he runs across, and while at some points it's being plausible, an entire wall full of water hits Moses. Because all the Jews make it out of there. All the Pharaoh's guys try to turn their chariots around and can't make it.
Starting point is 00:57:23 There's a showdown at the okay corral in the middle of the red sea with moses versus ramses and they're staring at each other they both get hit by the water and they both survive and it's like a 700 foot tidal wave that crashes onto them yeah to to uh to be hyperbolic about the amount of water that literally falls directly on their faces. It would be tens of millions of pounds of water. Yeah. And it just like, boom, nails these guys. These are just like one guy.
Starting point is 00:57:58 One guy scrapes his back. Right. Worst thing that happens is Moses scrapes his back. They both wind up on opposite shores somehow. And Ramsey swims covered in armor. Yeah, they both do actually. And then they, and then they both kind of just dust each other off, dust themselves off and disappear. You don't see anything from Ramsey's and that is actually very close to the end of the movie. Moses meets up with his wife again. And then that's, that's really it. He just goes off into the, off into the,
Starting point is 00:58:23 into the mountain. He goes off in the mountain to carve the rules but they don't even talk about the rules at all and then they're in a busket at the end the arc they make an arc so i'm happy that at least showed an arc in this because they went through all that trouble in exodus the book to talk about it they go through the trouble to actually show one but you you see at the end of the movie whereas in the the ten commandments i think it's the name of the movie with Charlton Heston. There's, that's only the first half of the movie. Then there's another whole half where he's, the people are wandering around the desert and then they get manna from heaven and then they go up on the thing and then they build up fucking golden calf and then they have to write the rules.
Starting point is 00:58:57 And then roses throws the grenade rules at them and then they blow up. And so there's all this extra shit that happens in this movie. They kind of cut it right after the Red Sea. It's over. I think some of the best stuff they do in this movie is one of my favorite parts of the whole movie is when Ramsey's is shaking, rotting child at Christian Bale and says, you worship a God that would kill all these children. Right. And I just thought, yeah, this is crazy.
Starting point is 00:59:36 And they pull no punches with the amount of fucking destruction that this little shitty God goes through in this movie. And let's be clear, too. Like the plagues, the plagues to me are the most interesting piece. Right. that this little shitty god goes through in this movie right and and let's be clear too like the plagues the plagues to me are the most interesting piece right because they're the part of this story that is that to me is is so absolutely unbelievable the plagues make no sense to me um i mean none of it makes any sense but the plagues make like extra no sense like i don't even know how else to say that so so let's talk a little bit about the plagues, right? So all of the plagues, just like Revelation, right?
Starting point is 01:00:08 All of the plagues would have killed all of the people. Sure. Nobody survives these plagues. You don't need seven plagues. You just need any one of these plagues. Sure. Except for the frogs. Yeah, the frogs were just weird.
Starting point is 01:00:21 The frogs are dumb. The frogs are just like, great, frog legs. You know, like, all right. Yeah, you give an entire population leprosy, not many are going weird. The frogs are dumb. The frogs are just like, great, frog legs. You know, like, all right. Yeah, you give an entire population leprosy, not many are going to survive, it turns out. But like, if you have an entire population that relies on the water from the river and you fucking poison the water, people don't do real well without water for a while. Although in this movie they do, because this movie is shot on a fucking barren landscape of ultimate destruction. At every moment, there is nothing around but just desolation and rock and fucking sadness and an unbelievable amount of wind. Wind. Just a lot of wind.
Starting point is 01:00:59 It's always so windy. There's always like a giant tunnel fan at the outside the set to spit some fucking sand and wind up. But the thing that makes me the thing about the story about Exodus, the book that I thought when I was reading it, like, doesn't make any sense. And I think it's really interesting that they skip this is that each time Moses would go to the Pharaoh and he'd be like, hey, should really let these people go. And then there'd be a line. But God hardened his heart. Thing is, is that's only at the last couple plagues. Pharaoh hardened his own heart in the beginning.
Starting point is 01:01:30 But before the plagues even started, there's a line that says, where God is telling Moses what he's going to do, and he says, yeah, I'm going to do all this shit, but I'm going to harden his heart so he won't let your people go. Yeah. Okay, so you've taken free will out of pharaoh's equation yeah so free will it's like this thing that the bible relies upon to justify evil right the evil that's visited upon people in the bible relies upon that free will element well they made their choice they made their choice they made their choice here you have somebody who did not make a choice, who had all of these horrors visited upon his people and was unable to make a different choice.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Because according to the story in your Bible, God hardens his heart, won't allow him to see reason or to see. So like you read that and it's like, well, that's antithetical to your whole foundational belief. I kind of wonder why if he knows his heart's going to be hardened, why even go? Why even bother with all this? Yeah. It's so extraneous. It just seems like cruelty for the sake of cruelty. They cut it right out of the movie, though, because he never goes back to him until the very end to tell him,
Starting point is 01:02:39 hey, man, do this now or your kid's going to die. Right. Because God is going to fucking basically kill every single child here. Right. And I got to wonder, too. They say the firstborn son dies. What age is that? Because wasn't Ramsey like the firstborn?
Starting point is 01:02:55 Wasn't Ramsey the firstborn? Yeah. So I just wonder at what point. The other thing about this movie, I think this movie does a good job of showing the suffering of all the people who have fucking nothing to do with this oh exactly yeah you know like there's all these people that are just like it is the most collateral damage i've ever seen in any movie yeah doesn't it emphasize absolutely impotent god would be in order like this is his set of solutions yeah like your set of solutions is
Starting point is 01:03:20 really mechanical and weird and it sucks and like like, why would you do the thing? And like, even if you read the book, it's like, yeah, I'm going to do this plague. All right. That seems like it'd be pretty convincing. Yeah, but I'm a heart and his heart doesn't work. So I have to do more plagues. Well, you just want to do more plagues. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:34 You're just fucking, you just want to do more plagues. Why would you do that? It doesn't make any sense. And seriously, the end of the story in Exodus and in the movie itself, when he leaves, Moses leaves, Moses says, he says, get the hell out of here. And they just take off. Why not just kill them? Why not? You have every opportunity you have. You don't have three legions of troops. You have literally all of your troops. They're all right here. You have swords. They have a few swords, but you're going to be able to kill
Starting point is 01:04:06 them all if you want to kill them. But somehow, you let them go and get like a five-day head start on you. And then you make the decision like, nah, I'm just going to kill them. Okay, well that doesn't make any sense. And the reason why is because this book, let's be honest with this book,
Starting point is 01:04:22 when I talked about this on the way home, there's no way to read this book. We read this book before we because we wanted to see how close it was to the actual story. So we both read Exodus. There's no way to look at this book, take this book and hug it as hard as you fucking can and say, God bless us. This is a wonderful story passed down by the lord right when i read this story i think wow that's a 2000 year old poorly told story about mythical people that makes no fucking that never touches reality right that never once touches reality and that's that's what it felt like when i watched this movie today yeah it doesn't have any relationship with anything that could ever
Starting point is 01:04:58 happen and you don't even it's like we don't have to be that pedantic about it right although being pedantic about things can certainly be fun um we don't even have to be that pedantic about it, right? Although being pedantic about things can certainly be fun. We don't even have to be that pedantic to know that there's no way that any of this shit could have happened. And one of the things, too, that's interesting about reading the book is that God comes down and he's like super jealous of other gods. Sure. But he really implies the existence of other gods. I don't know if you caught that when you were reading it, but he's like hey man like the other gods suck i'm the one that's really good i'm the so it it actually implies a polytheistic world wherein this god is actually absolutely mightiest of the gods
Starting point is 01:05:36 or at least wants to be known as the mightiest of the gods yep because he's constantly fucking pissing and moaning about the other gods. And you're like, well, yeah, man, but if God is complaining about other gods, he's not saying like, yeah, you guys are worshiping gods that aren't real. He never says that. Instead, he's saying things like, yeah, you guys should really, like, I should be the one. Sure. I should be your fucking big boss. I'm the number one.
Starting point is 01:06:01 The rest of them are all kind of lesser gods. I'm going to read Exodus. This is Exodus 23, 13. Pay attention to all I have said to you and make no mention of the names of other gods, nor let it be heard on your lips. I mean, that's exactly it. It's this idea that you can't even mention them. Don't even say them around me. them don't even say them around me and one of the things that i think was interesting in this movie that that that really came to light in the very beginning that prophecy was right yeah where is
Starting point is 01:06:32 she getting her prophecy from yep her god's got to be real too if that's the case her god has to be giving her these things to let her know that this prophecy comes true so they're implying this sort of mystical world wherein you can look to another god it doesn't matter which god you're looking to to find a prophecy because her prophecy comes true right well and more than implying it in the actual bible in the story of exodus so um in the story of exodus there are the first several plagues there's a thing where it's like yeah and then the fucking holy people replicated it. And so Ramsey's was unconvinced. They basically took the fucking frogs.
Starting point is 01:07:11 They did the frog plague in the beginning. They did the river of blood. They did the first four plagues. It's like the first four. And my favorite part of the whole thing is the stick to snakes shit. Oh, he has a staff? He has a staff. He walks up in the book.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Now, this isn't in the movie they cut this completely out of the movie but in the in the in the book he walks up and he's got this stick and it's a fucking stick and he says ah look at me i got god at my side and he throws it down and turns into a snake and all the other fucking all the witch doctors or whatever are just like yeah we could do that too and they basically do the exact same thing but the only reason you know he's awesome is because his snake eat all their snakes i know it's exactly the point of like like the polytheistic like this is not a monotheistic book you're right right you're right exodus is a book of polytheism it's just saying like yeah all right there's other gods but i mean they're like a bunch
Starting point is 01:08:00 of pussies you know i do want to talk about one thing that was conveniently left out. So now the Jewish people get released from slavery. And now we've been corrected many times on the slavery pyramid thing. A bunch of people got their panties in a bunch a long time ago when we said that the pyramids were created by slaves. I don't even think we said that. We didn't say it. There was some sort of thing. They weren't actually created by slaves.
Starting point is 01:08:23 I just say, you know. None of this happened. Like, see, somebody're actually creating my slam. I just, you know. I know. None of this happened. Like, Cecil and I are not implying that any of this happened. Right. So, but in any case, in this particular movie, they go to great lengths to say that they were enslaved for 400 years, and they show them building monuments in. Right. All of the Egyptian monuments.
Starting point is 01:08:39 All of the Egyptian monuments. In this story. In this story are being built by these Hebrews. And so I want to read a part of this. This is laws about slaves, Exodus 21. When you buy a Hebrew slave, when you buy a Hebrew slave, that's how it starts out in Exodus 21 too. He shall serve six years and the seventh year shall go free for nothing. If he comes in single, he shall go out single if he comes in married then his wife shall go out with him
Starting point is 01:09:11 if his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons and daughters the wife and children share bear her master shall be her masters and he shall go out alone isn't that the most insidious awful shitty thing that you could do to someone is give them a wife so then now they have to stay right as a slave right because you're giving them something they don't want to leave behind right don't want to leave your family behind so i'm going to continue on this is uh exodus 21 5 but if the slave plainly says i love my master my wife and my children i will not go free then his master shall bring him to God and he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost and his master shall bore his ear through with an owl.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Owl? An owl, yeah. I say owl because it just sounds better. I love that. I like the idea. I want to bring a Harry Potter in whenever I can. So they're going to bore him with an owl. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:10:02 And he shall be a slave forever. Yeah. They conveniently left out the part where where god goes out of the fucking out of his way to talk about these laws and one of the laws is by the way here's a law on slavery from which i just set you free of 400 years of the slavery stuff in that book um is is abhorrent there's no way for you to read that and be like, oh, that seems like the actions of a just God. And if I'm going to look at the slavery stuff and I'm going to read the part about like,
Starting point is 01:10:31 yeah, if you beat your slave, but he doesn't die, all good. It's all good. It's fine. No problem. Knock his fucking teeth out. Right. Might be a problem though. Knock his tooth out, then there's some issues.
Starting point is 01:10:42 It's reparations. There's reparations in there. Right. I want to read another piece here. It says when men strive together and hit a pregnant woman so that her children come out. Right. Now that sounds like a
Starting point is 01:10:53 fucking preterm fucking birth beating a woman till she goes into labor. But there is no harm. How? How? How? How did that happen? The one who hit her shall surely be fined as the woman's husband shall impose on him and he shall pay as the judge has determined. But if there is no harm, but if there is harm, then he shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe, balls for balls. I added the balls.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Right. I added the balls. Sorry. Nuts for nuts. Always the balls. wound, stripe for stripe, balls for balls. I added the balls. Right. I added the balls. Sorry. Nuts for nuts. Always the balls. Vagina for vagina. Always comes back. Pubic hair for pubic hair.
Starting point is 01:11:30 How do you read that? And then, you know, the thing is that I'm supposed to read Exodus and I'm supposed to look at the Ten Commandments, right? And I'm supposed to say like, oh man, that seems like a set of laws delivered from on high by just God. Right. You think that's where it stops, but it doesn't stop there. No.
Starting point is 01:11:44 It goes on for bloody forever. It's pages and pages and pages. Here's another piece. And now this is something, just in case all of you entrepreneurial people out there who wanted to go into the business of trapping oxen, I would like to read this to you. I hear good things in Oxen Valley. It's like the new- Let me tell you, the market is bullish.
Starting point is 01:12:05 Nicely done. So, let me read here. Laws. This is laws about restitution. When a man opens a pit or when a man digs a pit and does not cover it and an ox or a donkey falls into it, the owner of the pit shall make restoration.
Starting point is 01:12:20 The owner of the pit. Hey, whose pit is this? Oh, that's my pit. My bad, bro. Oh, no, I'm supposed to cover that pit. Hey, whose pit is this? Oh, that's my pit. My bad, bro. Oh, no, I'm supposed to cover that pit. Jesus, what was I thinking? John, cover your pit. Cover it with open pit barbecue sauce.
Starting point is 01:12:34 It's full of oxen again. It's full of oxen and barbecue sauce. That sounds delicious. And then in Exodus, there's 25 pages worth of uh specifications for how to build shit yeah i could not read that i just skimmed all that i'm not building a lot of arcs i couldn't help myself it was so bad yeah the thing is that i i didn't feel like uh although this is the holy word of of god himself i thought i'm gonna skip the construction advice yeah right i wouldn't even take that much construction advice from somebody who works at Home Depot.
Starting point is 01:13:08 Right. At a certain point, at a certain point, I would look at them and say, mind your own fucking business. I'll build a deck how I want to build a deck. Don't tell me how many cubits go into it. I want to read one last quote.
Starting point is 01:13:20 This is from Exodus. And, and this is after, now this isn't depicted in the film. This is in the book. now they do show a tiny bit of the calf there's a calf in the crowd
Starting point is 01:13:33 it was a cow it was lit on fire and they were worshipping it but it was just one of those camera passes over it Moses follow me up to the mountain and chisel some shit out that's basically what happened it's really quick but they did show it and I want to talk a little bit about what God has to
Starting point is 01:13:49 what Moses does to the people after they make a calf so they make a golden calf and he sees it and he comes down and he's fucking furious so he whips a fucking hand grenade fucking tablets at people they explodinate and he looks at them and says okay I'm going to take this calf. I'm going to burn it with fire and ground it into powder.
Starting point is 01:14:09 And he scattered in the water and made the people drink it. I know it's so weird. It's so weird. The people are like, fuck, this guy's kind of a dick. It's like the worst powerade ever. It doesn't replace any electrolytes. It's the worst. Here's where the story really falls apart, right?
Starting point is 01:14:27 Nobody would behave like that. And it doesn't even matter who you're referring to. Ramses wouldn't behave like that. Moses wouldn't behave like that. And the people following Moses? Right. They sure as motherfuck wouldn't behave like that. I can't imagine.
Starting point is 01:14:41 And more importantly, a god would not behave like that. Yeah importantly a god yeah would not behave like yeah nobody would be everybody in the story is constantly doing shit that if you're if you have any fucking sense at all like the people like let's talk about the golden calf right if if i am a person who just witnessed a vengeful god kill hundreds if not thousands of people plus the fucking horrors of starvation and dehydration and boils and other fucking nonsense they're going to have to suffer after we all leave. Because remember too, that's not included in the movie,
Starting point is 01:15:14 that when the Jews fucking boogie nights out of Egypt, they take everybody's shit. Because God says take all their gold, loot them. Loot all their shit like loot them loot all their shit yeah so like what is what is egypt left with no water all their animals are dead the locusts ate all their fucking food it was dark for a long time so they're not going to fucking grow anything
Starting point is 01:15:35 for a while right no matter where they step it squishes because there's frogs frogs covering everything frogs and flies over fucking everything sure All their livestock's dead. All their livestock's been killed by either random livestock disease or the hailstone or random lamb needing a lamb just so you could fucking spread their blood. Where they got the lambs, I had no idea. That's a lot of lambs. Although, admittedly,
Starting point is 01:15:57 one lamb could probably... When you freshly squeeze a lamb, you get a lot of blood. You put them in the lamb juicer. You put them on one of those things that spins around. It's like the little juicer where you say it's a point on it and you just shove it. Oh, yeah. Oh.
Starting point is 01:16:12 Brr. Brr. No, I'm thinking of the one that spins. Oh, yeah. The old-timey one. We're talking like a 1930s juicer. Yeah, you just stuff them on there. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:21 The reamer. The reamer. The auto reamer. The citrus reamer. It's like a fucking lamb reamer. Fucking. Yeah, you just stuff them on there. Oh, yeah, the reamer. The reamer. The auto reamer. The citrus reamer. It's like a fucking lamb reamer. Fucking, ugh. Oh, no. So, like, everybody in Egypt, how anybody could possibly survive,
Starting point is 01:16:32 plus then they decimate the firstborn, which is like, I mean, I don't know. There's a lot of firstborn shit going on in this, for sure. Well, so, okay, so God does all that shit, and then later, the people are constantly bitching, right? The people in the story are like, yeah, what'd you fucking that shit, and then later, the people are constantly bitching, right? The people in the story are like, yeah, what did you fucking deliver us out of there for, dick?
Starting point is 01:16:50 Yeah, man, I'm hungry. And then God shits out some manna for them to eat. And then later, they're going to be like, yeah, we'll take a cow. I'll just take a golden cow to worship. What are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Nobody would do that. You'd be like, that God is super mean.
Starting point is 01:17:08 People not to piss off today the hebrew god is on the top of the list he's so mean it's like i would rather the overseer of an angry orphanage i yeah i would rather go to like the worst part of london and borrow money from a loan shark then piss off that god it's awful uh so tom the movie itself though uh while it fumble fucks itself its way through this through the story and is kind of boring at points cg's not bad yeah the film itself has some some redeeming qualities in the sense that i think that there is some okay acting while there's a lot of filler acting throughout. There is some okay acting. And I think that if you're going to want to watch a movie from the Bible, this would be
Starting point is 01:17:53 your movie. I can't rate it super high. It's a big if too. Like if you're going to want to watch a Bible, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, yeah. If you're going to want to go hang gliding with a feather, I can't rate it super high, but I would say I'd give this movie a 1.5. Oh, see, and I was actually willing to go as far as 1.75 on this. So you'll lower it to 1.52?
Starting point is 01:18:14 No, no, I'll say 1. The thing is, it's not actually that. It's not boring. It doesn't commit the car. There are some scenes. There are some boring. There's some boring scenes. There's some shit that just drags the fuck on.
Starting point is 01:18:31 But it's got like that big, big grand epic sort of feel to it um so but i i do want to also rate exodus the actual story of exodus i can't rate that so i'm gonna rate the story of exodus but i think we've got to rate it on a couple of different levels so on a believability scale right it's as fucking straight up zero i believe that there was an ancient people who wrote it i mean i certainly believe that yeah it certainly got written down yeah it got written down at some point so i believe that but in terms of like any of those events actually occurring and i mean any of them like hebrew slaves no i don't think so not real an actual exodus of people an actual plague of all the shit. Of fucking Ten Commandments. The God issue.
Starting point is 01:19:07 The character of Moses who's 920 years old. None of those things happened. I would say on a believability scale, you're right. None of it seems like it happens. I can't think of one piece of exodus where I could say, well, maybe that happened, but then they just fucking took it an extra step or were hyperbolic about it. I don't think any of that shit, not one single moment of it was even remotely true. It's funny that the stories that get remade in the Bible are the ones that are at the very beginning because I feel like after Exodus, people just put the book down. They're just done with it.
Starting point is 01:19:40 They read these two stories. They read the Adam and Eve story. They read that sort of thing. And then they read Exodus. And then they go i think i kind of get it i'm okay and they just leave it alone and then they feel bad so maybe they pick the jesus story up at new testament but the rest of that stuff in between i have a feeling the reason why we don't see any movies about solomon or any of this other stuff is because people just don't read it because people give up after Exodus because it's so stupid and boring.
Starting point is 01:20:07 When you got to read, and let's talk about another rating for that book, the interest rating is through the floor. It's the worst because not only is the story boring, all the plagues are boring because it's written in such a stupid way that you just don't believe it happened. It's like an outline.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Yeah, and it really is an outline. And then you get to the construction part, which is half of the book. Well, and the bitching about leavened bread. Oh, my gosh, there's so much leavening. Oh, my God. God hates Arm & Hammer, dude. Either he hates chemical leavening, which would be Arm & Hammer and or any kind of baking soda or Calumet baking powder. Right.
Starting point is 01:20:42 Or he hates actual natural leavening, which could be yeast or eggs or any other way in which chemical. Can't whip air into anything. I don't know what you do. Yeah. You're stuck. Literally no air in anything. All your bread is flat gross.
Starting point is 01:20:57 Gross flat bread. But you have to like, in Exodus, there is seriously so much time devoted to when and how much leavening you can put. It's like, and then you shall have the feast of unleavened bread and it shall be a sad feast. Seven days of boredom and boredom and lameness. And you might want to kill yourself, but don't yet. Just wait until the last day. The only commandment that I thought to myself, like maybe I've not given enough credit to is the Sabbath commandment. And I really did think this while I was reading.
Starting point is 01:21:30 I thought, okay, well, maybe there's something to extrapolate about the value of rest. Right. Maybe there's something there to say like there is value to rest. Maybe labor seven days, 365 is a bad call. Maybe there's something there. The rest of it is fucking garbage. I would believe on a more on a believability, zero interest, zero moral responsibility, negative six jillion. I don't think that's a number.
Starting point is 01:21:59 I think that's now a number. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons because we love our patrons and we thank you all for giving us your money, your hard-earned dollars to continue on with the podcast, but we want to thank specifically our newest patrons, Vitor.
Starting point is 01:22:20 I love the name Vitor. Right? Vitor is awesome. That's a fighting name. That is a fighting name. Vitor J., Chris, and Charles, thank you all so much for your generous donations. Your donations go a long way to making sure the show is possible. We just most recently used some of those donations to donate some money to Foundation Beyond Belief through David Smalley's show. Speaking of David Smalley, we're not going to talk a lot about what David Smalley just accomplished because we're going to save it for this upcoming episode because we're going to have David Smalley on as a guest. So we're looking forward to having David Smalley on our show this upcoming week. We're going to have a midweek show and we're going to have David Smalley.
Starting point is 01:22:56 Come on, talk about some news items and talk about his great work that he just accomplished with Foundation Beyond Belief. They raised over $31,000 and I'll leave it at that. Isn't that incredible? It's incredible. What a tremendous sum of money man he did a lot of work and his crew did a lot of work for this and we're going to talk all about it when he comes on the show this week so if you want to hear all about david's uh accomplishments you're going to want to tune in later on this week on thursday and we're going to talk in detail about it as well as talk about some great stuff that's happening in the state of texas because that's where he's from so beautiful
Starting point is 01:23:23 we're looking forward to having david on the david on the show unlike him who's not looking forward to having us on right don't worry david we'll have you on for more than seven minutes i don't think it can last more than seven minutes speaking of which before we get to that show of course i'm going to thank all the people who donated during the hour that we were on when david's on our show but i want to thank all the people who donated during the hour that we were on when David's on our show, but I want to thank all the people who donated during the hour right now again. We had a couple people who stayed up late to listen to us, and it's going to be, you know,
Starting point is 01:23:51 it's great that they did that and they donated during our hour. Somebody said, I was going to donate during your hour, but the guy before us like sep-tepled the money or some crazy shit. I don't blame anybody for doing that. I don't either. That's awesome. Yeah, so we're going to talk about that all in detail later on this week. So we'll mention it all later on.
Starting point is 01:24:08 But we want to thank everybody who donated during the hour that we were on. And we also want to thank Glory Holio, the mass philanthropist who donated $500 extra to us. We put in $2,000. He put in that extra $5,000. So when the show donated $2,500, $500 of it wasn't even our money. It was his money. And that's just amazing so thank you glory holio i know you don't want to go by your real name but thank you very much for your generous donation really terribly kind and just our contribution to that 31 000 we're so grateful to have been able to have made that
Starting point is 01:24:36 yeah it was great and we we couldn't have done that if it was just you and i i know you know no way we could have come close to what we were able to accomplish if it was just Cecil and I I mean really if it was just me yeah who's just you I mean you could have sent him a pizza crust in the mail I think I like the fucking crust don't you fucking take my crust sent the crumbs from the pizza thing yeah which are which are above your mention at this point we got a message from Harley about and he said pedantic email incoming he knew it was it was happening as he wrote it i know looks like there's more people that got resurrected in the bible than i had thought i thought i had an interesting point but even still even if it's let's say it's it's 20 people let's say it's 30 people let's say it's 100
Starting point is 01:25:20 people that got resurrected because he says elijah uh and uh alicia is it alicia i don't even know i don't know it's elijah alicia alicia elijah and alicia alicia they they they raised some motherfuckers up from the dead like fucking all hallows eve style right but in any case if if that even if even let's assume that it was you know thousands of people think of all the people that have lived since then. I know. And nobody's been resurrected. So I still got to say to that family, what the fuck are you thinking?
Starting point is 01:25:50 You're not one of those special people. He's just a rotting corpse in a room. And there's a reason you sealed it off. Exactly. It's because you kind of figured it's just going to smell bad for a while. We got a message from, this is from Che in Chester. Che in Chester. That's pretty great.
Starting point is 01:26:09 It flows off the tongue. But Che sent us a message and said he was listening to our 194 episode, and we called the idiots who run around, the ghost hunter idiots who run around and scare each other in those houses, those abandoned houses, scared of the dark hunters. It was a coin is a term you coined last episode. He made a tiny logo for it. So we're going to put it on our website for this episode, episode one 95. So if you want to see his logo, we think it's funny. I thought it was great. We think it's great. So we're going to put it on there. We may, you know, I think if we could get an image for this, that would be shirt transferable, it would be really funny in some way. But I just don't know what to do with it. It's funny because all our funniest shirts come from other people.
Starting point is 01:26:52 Right? All of our funniest anything comes from other people. That's very true. We got a message. And this was one of those messages. You know, we got a good review this week on iTunes, which was great to read. That review we received, which was really to read, that review we received, which was really nice.
Starting point is 01:27:07 And then we just got this email from Adrian. And Adrian said he found us through Atheistically Speaking with Thomas. And we love Thomas. Thomas is one of our favorite guests. Thomas is a great friend of the show. One of our favorite guests. And he found us through Thomas,
Starting point is 01:27:21 and he said that we actually changed his mind a little bit on feminism. And I think that's really great. Yeah, he said, listening to the show has helped me develop, re-evaluate, and re-examine and change my mind a great deal on women's issues and feminism. I never really considered it such a pressing deal in the atheist movement. But when 50% of the population in an already small group is left out, isolated, and accused of being divisive, then everyone loses. And I just think that's great that we were able to actually influence somebody a little bit in a way that I think is a very positive direction. We're just glad that we were able to help you reconsider some things.
Starting point is 01:27:53 You know, like if we accidentally do some good while making some jokes, we're grateful to have done that. And so thank you very much for the email and thank you for reconsidering it. And, you know, we're like I said, we're just grateful that occasionally we don't screw it up. We don't screw it up too bad. We got a message from David and we didn't disagree with David last time. We read his email as an example, but we weren't disagreeing with David. David said, look, I'm totally with you on the body cameras. But I want to mention this is about the police body cameras.
Starting point is 01:28:23 totally with you on the body cameras right but i want to mention this is about the police body cameras and i want to mention one of the things that he said he said um there's a bunch of reasons why people give that you shouldn't have body cameras and they're all equally invalid and ignorant and one of them that he lists was my favorite he said the most humorous reason i have heard is the police shouldn't be shouldn't be made to wear them because that's not how you treat heroes oh my god can we get rid of this fucking hero worship like everybody who walks around with a fuck people who walk around and do good things because that's their job right they are good people doing good work right that like, but just throw that fucking hero word out there. It's like, we can't have, we cannot have tens of thousands of heroes.
Starting point is 01:29:10 We just can't. The word becomes meaningless. It really does. We got an awesome call to prayer this week. And it's hard to use because the context, you just don't, people wouldn't know it. But this person spliced goat sounds. That's so funny. Into a call to prayer so i'm
Starting point is 01:29:26 gonna play it for you now i can't really i don't know that i can use it week to week unless people send us a message and say yeah i use it week to week it'll be hilarious because i think it's very funny it's awesome but i just don't understand if people will get the context if they just pick the show up but listen to this this is from jim and it's fucking i love this i love this so much. Thank you so much, Jim. I love it. I think it's absolutely wonderful.
Starting point is 01:30:10 I can't get enough of goat screaming. The goat screaming is so weird. I would own a goat just to hear it scream. You know what you got to get is a fainting, screaming goat. I know. They scream and faint mid-scream. Why would you do anything else? I wouldn't leave the house. I would quit my job just to freak out my goat.
Starting point is 01:30:24 There's two things. Yeah, there's two things I wouldn't leave the house for. One is a fainting, screaming goat. And the other one is if I could blow myself. Right. I think if I had both of those things, I'd die a happy man. What if the goat could blow you? What do you mean?
Starting point is 01:30:37 That's why it's screaming. What do you mean? What if? Can a goat scream with laughter? So I think with goat rape, we need to end the show, of course. Yes, we talked enough about dead babies, the Holocaust, and or goat rape. And then we talked about stuff not in the Bible. Speaking of all those things, we're going to have David Smalley on the show next week.
Starting point is 01:31:03 Right. It should be a lot of fun. It should be a very good time. For us. For us. Not for him. No. But we're looking forward to having David Smalley on to talk about his great fundraiser that he just did.
Starting point is 01:31:13 And we're going to have a midweek show this week. I also want to mention that we're going to be on No Religion Required. This is a podcast that's going to be happening. We're not sure when it's going to be released, but we're thinking we're probably going to record this upcoming Thursday for it. So it probably released the following week, we suspect. But we'll put a link to the show notes when we do actually join the No Religion Required podcast. We're looking forward to that as well. But we're hoping we're going to have a show out for you midweek this week, and we'll have a regular show. So until next time, we're going to leave you as always with The Skeptic's Creed. quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing,
Starting point is 01:32:06 water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.
Starting point is 01:32:43 Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends,
Starting point is 01:33:02 families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music

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